The Osbournes Want to Believe (2020–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - Believer - full transcript

Do you want to believe?

- Let's go.
- Alright.

This is "Osbournes
Want to Believe."

We may be the First Family
of Darkness,

but not all of us are true
believers in the paranormal.

They want to believe.

Has a ghost

ever been caught on film? - Yes.

And I have the evidence that will blow their minds.
- What is that?

I think you're
starting to believe.

Seeing is believing.



- Whoa!
- What is happening?

Aah!

Oh, God, no!

I guess the first question is

how much of the paranormal
do you guys believe in?

I'm one of these people,
if I see it, I'll believe you,

but I don't totally believe,

but then, again, I don't
totally not believe you.

- Ditto. I wouldn't say I don't.
- Yeah.

But until I actually see it
for myself, I'm like...

This might be
the opportunity to.

This footage is of something

which people kind of claim
is an alien.

I know exactly what you...



The one walking in the alley.

- Yeah.
- No, no...

- An alien walking in a... What is that?
- Alley.

- I've seen that one, Sharon.
- Yeah.

I don't know.
This one isn't that.

This was, like,
in someone's driveway.

It's a weird entity
in someone's driveway.

- I think it's the one.
- They claim it...

They claim it is an alien,

or some people
are saying it's an elf.

- I've seen it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Oh, walking down the front.

Yeah.

It's a kid, I swear.

But why is he walking like a

- It's a kid.
- It's a kid around.

He's pretending to
be a Santa's elf.

- Is he naked?
- No.

It's the kid. I saw that on...

It's an awfully skinny kid.

Seriously?

He's not only skinny.
He's got a gigantic head.

And I can't get over
that ridiculous walk.

That is not humanlike.

It's a kid.

He's got, like, a jumpsuit on.
- Ah.

Maybe a glow-in-the-dark suit?
Yeah.

- Next.
- Next. Alright.

So, we think that's a kid, not an elf or an alien.
- I think it's an...

No, I think it's a Christmas elf
getting ready for Christmas.

Leaving all the gifts.

This next UFO clip
has been the source

of a lot of excitement
in the UFO world

because it was released
by the Pentagon.

And the Navy basically said,

"We don't know what
the this is."

So...
But it's pretty good stuff.

You could... This is where you can
hear the pilots talking to each other.

- Yes, yeah. Have you seen it?
- Yeah.

My gosh!

Going against the wind.
The wind's 120 knots west.

Look at that thing, dude.

Looks like a bat.

He's traveling at
5,000 miles an hour, or...

Look at that.

So, that was captured in 2015.

They call it "Gimbal."

And the other one
they captured in 2015...

That one right there...
They called "Go Fast."

What's this?
What the is that thing?

And the military also released
a sighting of a UFO from 2004,

and they called it "FLIR1."

If that is a fake,
it's been well done.

Well, I'm somewhat
of a believer now.

I mean, there's something to it.

It might not be aliens,

but it's an absolute phenomenon
that these things are occurring.

Yes, yes.

And what speed did they say
it was going at?

They said it was going
against the wind...

- The wind, yeah.
- ...and the wind was 120 knots.

Yeah.

Yeah, the plane was,
like, on full, like...

I mean, that plane
was flying very fast,

and it was flying faster.

And apparently,
some of that footage,

there's, like,
only a short portion of it,

but they were tracking it
for, like, an hour and a half.

And they had its movements
to where it would go

from, like, the sea level...
- Mm-hmm.

...and shoot up to like
30,000 feet in seconds.

- And then come back down.
- And then shoot back down.

And just the way it was moving,
they were like,

"It defies physics."

Like, any conventional aircraft

would fall apart if it was moving that way.
- Right.

- Something to it, yeah.
- Absolutely something to it.

But there was that plane...
Cargo plane going to Alaska.

You hear of that one? - No.

Where this guy reports
to the tower.

Is that the one
Tom Cruise was in?

What the are you
talking about... Tom Cruise?

Tom Cruise got...
What was that film he did?

- "Top Gun"?
- No! Tom... No, no!

Tom Hanks!

Where he's in the...
- Oh, your jokes are the

If you're gonna say a joke,
at least get it right.

- Sorry.
- Anyway...

So, anyway, this guy's
flying a cargo plane

for a Japanese airline.
- Mm-hmm.

And this great, big
mother ship comes up,

massive thing flying above it,

and he freaks out, and they
tracked it at the air...

At the tower. - Mm-hmm.

Oh, is this the one when they landed,
they were like, "Yeah, don't say anything"?

And they come in and says,
"This never happened."

I just... I mean, I don't know
what to make of it.

Another one? - Yep.

Alright, we've got
lots of UFOs today.

This is an alien invasion
at sunset.

Insane. This is
in the sky over the ocean.

These people were on a ferry
in the Outer Banks,

just off the coast
of North Carolina.

And they saw these weird lights.

- That's weird.
- They were just looking at them,

and all the other people on
the boat were looking at them,

and no one had a clue
what the hell they were.

We're in the middle
of the ocean on a ferry.

Nothing around. Look.

Nothing around.

No land, no nothing.

There's no plane.
There's no nothing in the sky.

This is just lights staying stationary...
- A bunch of lights.

...in one spot, not moving.

Everybody on this freaking boat
is out looking at it.

- What is it?
- Nobody knows.

Insane.

Some kind of optical illusion.

You saw that thing we were
watching about the Bermuda Triangle?

Last night, yeah.

And the flying boat thing.

Yeah.

Oh, I'm leaning on the dog here.

But the thing I find odd
about this...

When you see the ghost...

The ghost ship,
looks like it's flying.

That may be something
coming off the water. I don't know.

I mean, do you believe
that there could be aliens?

Do you believe in crop circles
and all that?

This guy flew over this thing
while minding a prop plane.

Turned around and go back.

When he's going back,
anyways, he saw

a thing in the field
that weren't there when he...

He'd just gone over. - Yeah.

That's the only one that
I believe could be legit

because it's a response.
- Then nobody...

The thing was,

nobody but about a handful
of scientists

knew what this... - I'm lost.

Alright, so, scientists
sent out this radio signal

deep into space to see
if anyone would respond.

It was called
the Arecibo message.

And this crop circle essentially
was a response to that message.

Okay.

When you see it, you're like,
"Wow, that's wild."

So, what is it?
Do you believe in UFOs?

Do you believe in aliens?

I mean, you clearly have some
kind of opinion on crop circles.

So, where would you lie?

I do, and I don't.

Until I actually see
something in the sky myself

or something land in my garden

or whatever, until I witness it,

I'm not saying I don't,
and I'm not saying I do.

And have you, in all
your travels, being on planes,

being in remote parts
of the world,

have you ever seen anything
in the sky

that you couldn't explain? - No.

Mum?

I'm thinking about this now.

- Oh - No. I have!

- Oh, don't think too hard.
- If you saw something in the sky,

you wouldn't have to think
very long, darling.

Now, hold on a minute.

Yeah, I have a thought,
but you talking,

I've lost my train of thought
now.

- You...
- Rude.

Okay.

I have.
I lost my train of thought.

I came up with a really good idea...
- No. No.

...and it's gone.

No, no, no.

- Really?
- It was.

You know if you've seen
a foreign object

that you can't explain.

Oh, yeah. I know what it was.

I have to go back to the...
Not the Romans.

What was it before the Romans?

- Egyptians? The Greeks?
- Egyptians. Egyptians.

He knew it.

What the has that
got to do with the question?

Just think. The Egyptians
were the first ones

to have hot water.

They were the first ones
to have wine, was it?

- I don't think so.
- No?

Well, anyway, they
knew about the aliens.

- Tell you what. Stroke your dog, darling.
- What?

That's an alien.

You know, you guys
are both aliens.

It's Robert!

Aw! - Oh, my!

- See?
- The dogs are gonna get Robert.

That thing off.
It's bad luck, darling.

No, it's not.

My thing is with Bigfoot...

Whenever you see a hunter
who is like,

"Well, I was out there
in them there woods,

and out of nowhere
comes Bigfoot,"

I'm gonna shoot it!

Ooh!

- Um...
- Yeah?

We're gonna see
how the magic happens.

We're actually walking down
to where we film,

which is normally the theater
at my parents' house.

It's all spooky and ominous.

- Spooky!
- But, yeah...

- Spooky-dooky-doo!
- ...what used to be the theater

is now a little mini TV studio
that we have creatively crafted.

There is my dad
just eagerly awaiting.

Hi, Dad.

Moving on. Haunted dolls.

You have quite an affinity
to haunting dolls...

To haunted dolls, don't you?

- Why?
- You like haunted dolls.

Seeing as we've got them
all over the house.

I might have something
here for you.

Not him again.

It's Robert!

- Oh - There he is! There he is!

- I tell you where Robert's going.
- Where?

Robert's gonna be given
to the dogs.

Nope! See?

- The dogs are gonna get Robert.
- Hey.

So, the legend goes,
with the actual Robert the Doll,

is that it is cursed
by the spirit of his owner.

Bad luck.

You think it's a joke.

If you disrespect him,
make fun of him,

take a picture without asking,

or even handle him,
you will be cursed,

and terrible things will begin
to happen in your life.

We actually went to see
Robert the Doll in Key West,

and it's the real
Robert the Doll,

and, believe me, he is as frightening
in person as he is in pictures.

- Thing.
- Don't disrespect Bobby.

So, Robert... - that thing off.

It's bad luck. - No, he's not.

- It's bad luck!
- Alright.

Well, we have a really...
- Look!

Look at me! It ain't bad luck!

You blew him up. Just saying.
It's your fault.

You blew him up.

If you hadn't blown him up.
That's all I'm saying.

No, you shouldn't have
around me.

I told you he's bad luck,
and you...

I respected him. I had a...

See, now, you kept

I had a great year after that.
I got divorced.

Any last words to Robert?

Jack that thing off.

It's bad luck.
I keep telling you.

You keep thinking it's not,

but, listen,
look what I was saying.

Just look what's gone on
with me.

There has been an odd timeline
since you blew him up.

I will give you that.

Do you think it's a joke?

Okay. I don't.

No, you think it's
a joke all along.

I just can't tell when you're
joking about it anymore.

All along, when we first
went to the place...

Uh-huh?

- Send it back.
- Let's do it.

Going to FedEx today. - Really.

Overnight it.

Well, let's take a look
at this haunted doll.

So, the theory
behind haunted dolls

is that, you know, energy can...

People's energy can transfer
into objects, things like that.

It's kind of like...

You know how if... You wear
a very specific cologne,

and if you go into your closet

and I grab out a T-shirt,
chances are, it smells like you.

It's like an imprint
on that clothing.

Energy, theoretically,
can do the same thing.

And so, the thought is
that when people pass on,

their energy can continue on
through an inanimate object.

So, let's see what we got.

I'm sitting here
filming my daughter's doll.

This lady in Pennsylvania
bought this doll

from some second-hand shop
or flea market.

And, eventually, it started
moving on its own.

Nothing really precious
or special about it,

but it just has
this feeling about it.

And I'm just gonna sit here
on my steps and record it

and see if maybe
she'll do something for us.

Careful what you wish for.

Whoa.

Did you guys just see that?

- No.
- Chair is moving.

- Where?
- Chair's rocking.

Are you seeing this?

This is some freaky

Look at it.

Oh, I'm about to run.

What the hell?

Aah!

Whoa, what the

What do you think?

It could have been triggered
by somebody. Couldn't it?

Or it could be windy
in the room.

- It could be, but it's worth investigating.
- But...

Yeah.

You know, in England,
we did have a bunch

of, like, old,
antique, weird dolls.

- Yeah, a lot of them.
- Did you guys ever see...

Have anything weird with them?

- No.
- No.

Do you remember we used to have
loads of them up on your floor?

Yeah, and they were always
terrifying to me.

- Really?
- I just hated it. I just didn't like them.

The shark fish. Oh, the fish
that jumped out of the tank.

Yeah.
- It used to do this to the top of the tank.

Yeah, it would look at me at
night, just bobbing, wanting me.

Didn't we give it to, um...

If you keep on asking
about aquariums,

we're never
gonna get through this.

Alright, so, have you guys
ever heard

of the kind of
"glitch in the Matrix" theory?

I don't understand anything
about the "Matrix."

Okay, so...

You swirl around in long,
big leather coats

and write numbers
all over walls.

- Uh... sort of.
- Yeah. Yeah.

Okay, so, the glitch
in the "Matrix" is that...

Well, the theory is that
we're actually living

in some kind of hologram,

we're not really even here,

we're living in a video game

and that sometimes, it glitches.

And people have caught things
on camera

which, by all accounts,
unexplainable.

The footage we're gonna see
is of a dog

that the guy who films it

believes is a glitch
in the Matrix.

So, let's get glitchy.

This guy takes out his garbage
and comes back to this.

Could you imagine?

Where was it?

This took place in the Ukraine.

His dog is literally
frozen still in the hallway.

No signs of life.

That's weird.

Look at it. It's standing still.

He's right next to it.

You can't even see the dog
wagging its tail,

moving his head, breathing.

It's literally frozen.

And when his owner touches him,

the dog just, like,
comes back to life.

Actually, now that
I think about it,

Bella might be in the Matrix
right now.

And Dad, too.

Thoughts?

He's just standing still.
I think...

The dog's not got a leather coat
on, and there's no numbers.

Alright. I mean,
but, like, I went,

"Okay, could the dog be having
some kind of seizure?"

But usually, when a dog
has a seizure, they'll collapse.

- Yeah, or shake.
- Yeah, and then I was like...

- You could explain that, couldn't you?
- Yeah.

I mean, I just think it's odd
that it was just like, "Brr,"

and just not moving,
like, mid-step.

Dogs don't... I mean,
you guys have a billion dogs.

They don't do that.
- No, they don't.

What do you think?
Matrix? No Matrix?

I don't know.
When I understand "The Matrix,"

then I'll let you know. - Okay.

I mean, Elon Musk thinks
that there's, like, a...

He goes, "There's like
a 1 in like 99 billion

that we're not in
some kind of simulation."

So, he's basically, like,

absolutely positive
we're in a simulation.

Alright, so,
this is an aeroplane

which, by all accounts,
is flying but not moving.

And the same question...
Is it stuck in the Matrix?

That plane looks like
it's just hovering.

Okay, so, this one takes place
just outside of Dallas.

This guy's driving,
and he saw this.

Look at it. For real.

It looks like it's just
kind of hovering there.

Looks like a big one, as well.

Wow. I almost want to stop
on the side of the road

to see if we can see.

It's that you're traveling.
The plane's traveling.

It's an optical illusion.

So, it's basically, as it's
coming towards you,

you're coming towards it,
and it just appears

like it's stationary.

This can all be explained.

Do you guys think we could
be living in a hologram

or hallucination
or some kind of weird...

Was that near that triangle?

Oh, my God!

What is the triangle called?

- The Bermuda Triangle?
- Is it near there, no?

No.

Okay, and then
this is another one.

This one is very odd.

Is it... Oh, okay.

- It's still the Matrix.
- Okay.

- And it's with a bird.
- Okay.

And it took place in California.

It's something to do
with, like, the horizon.

But look at that. That's a bird
just, like, floating in the air.

- Had a stroke.
- Okay, it had a stroke midair,

but why is it just hovering?

That's weird.

Do they show you it landing?

- No, just 'cause he's on the freeway.
- Oh.

It was... It's called
an oomagoolie bird.

It goes, whack, "Oomagoolie!"

Oomagoolie? What the
are you talking about?

You've got an oomagoolie
in your ear.

Okay, then.
Well, as far as the Matrix goes,

I think it's safe to say that
these two just don't get it.

Was it the Greeks
or the Egyptians

that came up with it first?

- What? What are you talking about?
- Who gives a

- Aliens!
- They could have been smoking dope!

My little Bella!

- Alrighty.
- Do you want to believe?

- Do you believe in them?
- I don't think it's so black-and-white.

- Like the moon?
- What the does that mean?

It's a full moon in our house
all the time.

It's 'cause someone's
always got their pants down.

Let's go!

Alright, so, these next clips
are a series of UFOs

captured on camera

by just random Joe Member
of the Public.

However, they're in different
parts of the world.

So, this first clip
is from Crimea.

This cluster of UFOs was spotted
in three different places,

all in Crimea, all in the same
night at different times.

And this one here you see
is in Kerch, a city in Crimea.

And this one takes place
in Hlazivka,

and it's the same six UFOs,
just from a different angle.

And the last sighting
is also in Kerch,

just a little further away.

Now, here's the strange part.

A few weeks before
those sightings,

an almost identical set
of lights was seen in Ohio.

What do you think?

Why are they all near
electrical poles?

Because that's what...
Because...

No. Why are they near
electrical poles?

In different countries, you can
see them by an electrical pole.

That's an, actually,
interesting theory.

- Thank you.
- I wonder.

I wonder, is it...
But then you go,

"Is it just because
they're in cities

and there's electrical poles
all over cities?"

No, but there's not that many,
is it?

And where is...
- There's not that many?

Hold on! Where's Cri...

- Kir... Crimea.
- Crimea. It's in Europe.

- And where's...
- But here's the thing.

So, those are in Ukraine,
then there's one in America.

And in this one, in England,
it appeared online

and said it was in Idaho,

when, actually, it's in the UK.

And it's of a UFO,
or multiple UFO sightings,

and it went on
for like 40 minutes.

So, why did it say it was
in Idaho and it was in England?

'Cause they were embarrassed.

No, I guess someone
stole the clip...

- Go on. Next.
- ...and then said it was in Idaho.

But it wasn't. You know, we
found the people in England, and...

Alright, I bet you
it's by an electrical pole.

Every country's
got electrical poles.

No electrical poles.

- You don't see them now, look.
- No electrical poles.

No electrical poles.
My theory's been thrown out.

This guy at first thought
it was helicopters

but then realized
there was no noise at all.

They didn't seem to move closer
to him or further away.

They were just hovering
in the distance the whole time.

But they did start to blink.

Like, they were flashing
on and off.

Looks like it, yeah.

Some would disappear,
then reappear.

Look at that.

They're fireflies.

B-1s. Little green men.

What do you think?

What's always amazed me...
If they are from another planet,

these things, what would they
want to come here for?

Resources.
We've got lots of water.

When we can't even get on
with each other, let alone...

That's why they don't want
anything to do with us.

They're just like, "Look at
these lunatics."

Okay, is there people
that can look at that picture...

Say it's in a photograph,
you take a photograph of that...

And they can measure to the...

How big they think
those lights are across?

Yes, there are. Yes.

There are ways to do that,
sort of.

As long as you have
some kind of reference.

- Right.
- So, like...

But it's hard with...

When you zoom in, it's hard
because you lose depth.

Would it be very difficult
to, like...

- To hoax? Make a hoax of that? Like, fake it?
- Yeah.

You could, but you can tell
a lot of times in raw files.

Like, if I were to just
send you something

I recorded off my phone...
- We watched a program,

and out of like 200 sightings,

there's about 5
that they can't explain.

But I think it's odd, though,
that it looks almost identical

to what was filmed in Ukraine...
- Yeah. Yeah.

...America.

Like, this is clearly
a phenomenon occurring.

- That looked pretty legitimate.
- Yeah.

I mean, all those people can't
all be faking the same thing.

Yeah.

But people have been doing that

since they started
with photography.

Do you remember the one with the fairies?
- Fairies, yeah.

Right? That was, like, the turn
of the century, right?

And, like...
- Yeah, but... but, Sharon, uh,

it's only in the last century
UFOs have been sighted.

Well, some people think

they've been sighted
for thousands of years.

Oh, in Egyptian times,

they thought
that some of those pictures

were meant to be UFOs and things.
- Yep.

- The paintings on the walls and that.
- Yeah.

Was it the Greeks
or the Egyptians

that came up with it first?
- What? What are you talking about? With aliens?

- Who gives a - Aliens!

I think... I think Egypt

predates Ancient Greece,
I think.

Or was it... Were they kind of similar time periods?
- It could have been in Babylon.

It was, like, Babylonia
and, like, Mesopotamia.

What was the question?

Because they had drawings
in their...

- Temples.
- ...temples and wherever of aliens.

They could have been
smoking dope!

Drugs was very common back then.

'Cause they just didn't
realize it.

So if you...
That's what we do now.

We used to go,
"Let's swallow this pill.

Let's see aliens."
- You want to hear something interesting?

There's a theory called
the "stoned ape" theory,

which essentially says

that human evolution
occurred at such a rapid rate

because whatever
our ancestors were,

were, you know,
kind of caveman-y,

like, Cro-Magnon, whatever,

they think that they were eating
a lot of magic mushrooms.

- Hmm. Hmm.
- Huh.

Dad, you have experimented with
hallucinogenics in your life.

Somewhat.

Did you ever question
the reality

in which that we live in?

Every day.

Okay. 'Cause there is...

Still do.

Uh-huh. Alright, that works.

Unless I see somebody
coming in, singing and dancing.

- They have to be singing and dancing?
- Absolutely.

They have to be like,
"I'm here!"

- Are they, like, an old vaudeville act, though?
- Exactly.

Come on. Let's go.

My eyes! My eyes!

- Yeah, we've got...
- They're killin' me!

- Have any of you ever seen a ghost?
- No.

Nope.

I've never seen a ghost,
but I've ghosted some

Okay.

They want to believe,
and I have the evidence

that will open their minds and
freak them out in the process.

When you do
your cold reads like that,

do you sound a little like,
"See"?

- Yeah.
- "Ha, see? Mom and Dad want to"...

Like, what happened to that
accent? Did it just go out of vogue?

- Yeah.
- I guess so.

"Let's bring it back, see?

I'm just gonna start
talking like this."

Okay, so, this next clip is...
Well, before I go into it,

do you guys know
what a poltergeist is?

Have you guys ever seen...
- Yeah, yeah, I had a friend in school

that had a poltergeist
in his house.

I've actually got three of them.

- Really? Aah!
- Mm.

I've got f...
I-I've got four of 'em.

Oh.

Including the missus. She throws
a few things around, you know?

That's right, yeah.
If anyone's a poltergeist,

it's you two throwing around.

Alright, so, this is a clip

where a poltergeist gets
a little bit too crazy.

Here we go.

So, this took place
at a house in Illinois.

It started off,
innocently enough,

when the faucet
turned on by itself.

Then some toys
moved on their own.

That's weird.

I agree.

This is even crazier.
Watch the doll in the box.

That's very weird.

He also captured the front door
opening completely on its own.

Wow!

But the most frightening
thing of all was this.

You see that oven mitt?

Something takes it off the hook

and moves it
on top of the stove.

And then here's where
it goes off the rails.

Something turns the stove on and
lights the oven mitt on fire.

- Look at that!
- Can we just see it again?

'Cause I... - Yeah.

Nothing near the knob.
Nobody is around.

Something turned it.

That's very weird.

Isn't that creepy?

My thing is, like, okay, some of
that stuff could have been faked.

If I saw that, I...

I'd see one thing move,
I'd be out the door.

You know what got me
thinking about?

All the weird fires
we had at Welders.

Oh, no, no, no.

They weren't
set by poltergeists.

- I don't know.
- That was people not blowing candles out.

Do you remember
when somebody said,

"A ghost stole my wedding ring"?

Yeah.

We're gonna move on
from that conversation.

- But do you remember? Yeah.
- Yeah. Yeah.

But, like, Welders, though,

had two really weird fires
that were just kind of...

Yeah, but someone...
You know why?

Because somebody has got a thing
about candles.

She got to light the candles
all around the house,

and she doesn't turn into a puff
of smoke and start going...

She should go at night
before she goes to bed.

No, I'm... I'm the only person

that puts a fire out
with magazines.

Yeah.

So, do you guys think
those clips are...

Do you think that's...
Do you think that's real?

It looked pretty real to me.

I see skepticism in Mum's eyes.

There's a frow brow.
- No, no, no.

I want to see the whole
kit and caboodle

before I make my decision.

Now, if you were in the house,
Mrs. O...

- Yes?
- ...and things like that happened...

- Yes?
- ...what would you do?

Would you hang around?
- No. No, no, no.

I would just have seen
that doll moving,

and I would have been gone.

I'd have been on a plane
to another country.

- Oh - Forget it.

I mean, it would really
interest me to witness it.

Alright, so, while we are
on the subject of poltergeists,

we have some that we...
While filming my show,

there's a place called
the Twin City Opera House

in McConnelsville, Ohio.

And at the time,
when this happened,

we didn't realize what it was.

Our producer,
who was very kind of...

Didn't really want
to disrupt a scene,

he just kind of went,
"Oh, I got pushed."

And then when we watched
the footage back,

it's really, really, like...
He just sat.

You'll see.

So, the reason we went here
in the first place

is because this opera house

has had a long history
of paranormal activity.

Do you ever get bad smells
when you go to these places?

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's...
But you don't know,

is it just 'cause it's an old,
run-down building

with, like pipes,

or is it 'cause, you know,

Beelzebub's taken a
in the corner?

You never know.

So, there was one particular
spirit that they called Charlie,

and apparently, he's some
kind of demonic entity.

We tried to contact him,
and then this happened.

Is that you, Charlie?

What? What, Jamie?

- Jamie, what?
- Say something.

The chair you were sitting in just moved?
- Yeah.

- What?
- My chair just moved.

- Wow.
- What the

You were sitting in it
and it moved?

Something kicked it
or something.

If it's not abundantly
clear, I'll say it right now.

That basement
was definitely creepy.

Is the producer
still working with you?

- He is not.
- 'Cause he was scared?

He did get pretty freaked out
on this one.

- Okay.
- What do you think?

I don't know.

Where I always go is, "Did he...

Was the chair sat on, like,
a rock, on uneven ground

and it just, like,
gave out, or...?"

- Yeah, but...
- But that footage,

when you actually
see it blown up...

Hey, you're on a ghost show.

The ghost was sitting
in the chair,

and the chair moved.

That's... That's...

If I was there
and I witnessed it,

I'd go, "There ain't a
stone under this seat."

So, I'm hearing you say
you want to come do an episode

of "Portals to Hell"?

Yeah, I wouldn't mind.

If you was a real deal.

- Oh, yeah, we're the real deal.
- We don't around.

I mean... I mean,
if... if the place is...

The clip you showed us,

that's what I call
something weird.

I... Unless I see
somebody coming in,

singing and dancing, I...

- They have to be singing and dancing?
- Absolutely,

They have to be like,
"I'm here!"

- Are they, like, an old dead vaudeville act, though?
- Exactly.

Huh! "Ah, Philly,
how's it going there, see?"

Come on. Let's go.

- Alright.
- That's it.

Cool. Do you guys want to
take a pee break and...

Nah it.

Didn't they make
a holiday movie about a Bigfoot?

- Yeah, loads of 'em.
- "Harry and the Hendersons."

Yes. I like that movie!

"I like that movie!"

You tease!

- You guys ready?
- Stand by.

Jack, do you think
my hair's growing? No?

The He just about gave
the dog a heart attack!

Ohh! I'm sorry, Bellsy!

- Wait. Wait.
- I'm sorry!

Why are you asking
if your hair is growing?

Oh, because I want it
to grow so bad.

Well, you shouldn't have
already cut it!

- I didn't. It fell out.
- Why did it fall out?

'Cause I kept changing the
color, and it just broke off.

What you thought about
a bald wig?

Wow.

Ohh!

So, this next clip is...

Well, before I go into it,
do you guys believe in Bigfoot?

No.

Well, this is considered
some of the most

authentic and hard-to-dispel...

I think it's a load of horse

But here's why
this footage is...

- We went looking for it!
- We did, yeah.

- We went out on a boat. We had a good day.
- Yeah.

- You know what I'm saying.
- We stayed at that nice inn.

If they all was to say, "There
ain't no Loch Ness Monster,"

nobody would go.
- Do you remember, you guys went out at night

with the flashlight looking for it?
- Yeah.

Hey, could have been there.

Could have been there.

But, well, this is Bigfoot.

And this footage was captured
by the Pate family

in 1996 in Washington State,

just about six miles south
of the Canadian border.

So, a lot of people refer to it

as the Memorial Day
Bigfoot Footage.

It has been studied by
tons of investigators.

And still, 30 years later,
it has not been debunked.

I don't think it's Bigfoot.

A producer I worked with
worked on another show

where they tried to re-create
this, and they couldn't.

They did that thing
of figuring out, "Okay, well,

where exactly is this creature
in this frame? How big is it?"

And when they sent their
tallest person to this area

and had him move in
the same way, they were like...

- Can't do it.
- You can't... They couldn't replicate it,

and they spent days
trying to do it.

Okay.

No?

I think Mum's kind of curious.

Look, I can pull up
an actual picture of it.

Big stride.

Very big stride.

And when they tried to run
that same 22-second...

Like that? Yeah?
Couldn't do it as quick.

Couldn't do it. Not as quick.

See, my thing is with Bigfoot...
This is what I always say.

Whenever you see a hunter
who's like,

"Well, I was out there
in them there woods,

and I was huntin' for a deer,

and outta nowhere
comes Bigfoot"...

...if I'm hunting for a deer

and I see a mythological
giant man-bear creature...

- Do you shoot at it?
- ...I'm gonna shoot it.

- Right, I'd shoot.
- Because I'm instantly gonna become the world's...

The man who killed Bigfoot.

Right?

You'd be charged with murder.

Well, could you be charged
for murder?

Is it human? Is it not?

Do you remember those movies
they did, like, holiday movies?

Didn't they make a holiday movie
about a Bigfoot?

- Yeah, loads of 'em.
- "Harry and the Hendersons."

Yes. I like that movie!

- You're insane.
- Why?

"I like that movie!"

I did!

Are you gonna become
a Bigfoot hunter now?

Is this how Mum's
gonna vacation?

Go up to, like, the Pacific
Northwest, hunting for Bigfoot?

Is that near Anchorage?

Seattle. Near Seattle.

- Yeah.
- Yeah. Ish.

Next.

Mum just said she wanted
to sleep with Bigfoot.

Better than Little John.

You know what they say?
Bigfoot...

Yeah, they say big feet,
big shoes.

No, big hands!

- Big hands, big gloves.
- That's a dad joke.

You guys are a barrel
of laughs between you two.

We are, aren't we?

I have a thing called
the Woogie-Boogie Scale.

It's my scale from 1 to 10.

Where would you rate
what you saw today

on the Woogie-Boogie Scale?

"Harry and the Hendersons."

Harry. Harry.

- He's not laughing.
- "Harry and the Hendersons."

You guys are insane.

Did you guys have any
terror-filled dreams last night?

Absolutely, I did,
about Bigfeet.

- Bigfeet?
- Bigfoot.

Are you sure that wasn't, like,
a weird foot-fetish dream?

- No, no, no, it was Bigfoot.
- No, she was scratching my ass,

and she thought it was Bigfoot.

Is that Bigfoot right there?

That's Bigfoot.

She's one of his socks.

So, anyway, I have a thing
called the Woogie-Boogie Scale.

And I essentially...
It's my scale from 1 to 10.

- Mm.
- Where would you rate what you saw today

on the Woogie-Boogie Scale?

The poltergeist
was the most convincing.

And that one alien thing
where the Air Force...

Bigfoot? 50-50.

Okay.

So, you would say...
But what would you rate it?

Would you rate Bigfoot like a 5
on the Woogie-Boogie out of 10?

Uh, yeah. 5, yeah.

And then the Navy footage?

- 9.
- 6.

Oh, 6 and 9
for the Navy footage.

- Mm-hmm.
- Wow.

And the poltergeist... 8 or 9.

Okay.

Because the pilots might
have been around.

One of them's flying

a remote-controlled UFO
out the window

of the fighter jet
that they're flying...

- It was a
- ...1,000 miles an hour.

- Could happen.
- Well, you know...

There could have been
a bit of dust on the camera.

Pilot wasn't
flying a drone at 1,000...

It's a squashed insect
on the camera.

- Oh!
- Anything's possible.

Well, these are
my senile parents.

- I'll start dribbling.
- You know, we are, Sharon.

It's a good job
we never joined the military.

Alright, well, uh, that's that.

What have you guys got planned
for the rest of the day?

I'm gonna read up
on some history.

Which came first,
the chicken or the egg?

The Romans or the Greeks?

The Greeks were here
before chickens!

But you can add chicken
to a Greek salad.

Alright, so, that's the...
- What have you got against

the Greeks, anyway?
- I haven't got anything against anyone!

- The Babylon squeaks?
- Bloody Greeks.

Whoo!

Bye, folks.

So, if you at home
have any spooky clips,

make sure you #OsbournesBelieve,

and we'll be sure
to check it out.

Is that for real?

You guys are both aliens.

What does Bella think?
My little Bella!

"Ah, Philly,
how's it going there, see?"

All aboard the Osbourne
crazy train!

It's a full moon in our house
all the time.

Oh, my God. Let's go.

- That's it for this episode.
- That's it?

See you next week!