The O.C. (2003–2007): Season 2, Episode 8 - The Power of Love - full transcript

Previously on The O.C...

I don't want this to be
like kissing your sister.

Kirsten doesn't know you're
seeing Lindsay, right?

She thinks we're just friends.

I know you're not
on the market for any new relatives.

How about a friend?

I did a musical or two
myself in college.

Please stop him before he starts
singing Greased Lightning.

Are you drunk?
She was like this when I picked her up.

You don't have to defend
yourself to her.

No, but you do, young lady.



I need to go see a girl.

Which girl is this? The one
who thinks you're too nice?

You stole a car?
Yep, I do it for kicks.

Are you trying to impress me or something?
What?

You're a good guy,
and that's why I like you.

( phone ringing )

Cohen residence.

Ryan, hey, good.

I was hoping you'd answer.

If you're alone, cough twice.

I'm alone.

It's not as stealth,
but it works too.

Where are you?

Well, remember last night
when I said



that I was going to bed?

Didn't happen, huh?

Oh, no, it did, just not my bed.

But I did bring
my favorite pillow.

You know the
really fluffy one?

Hey.

Hmm. You sure you don't
want to stick around

for a little home schooling?

Maybe I do.

Seth, your parents
are both awake.

Yeah, yeah. That's why
I need you to cover for me.

Yeah, let me think about that.

No.

Ryan, think of my parents
for a second, okay?

They don't want to know
I spent all night with a lady.

It's only going to hurt
and upset them.

You know how fragile
they are in the mornings.

Okay? Thank you.

Hello.

Whoa, well, top
of the morning to you too.

Happy Anniversary.

Yeah.

Happy Anniversary
to you as well.

I love you.

Oh, I...

I love you, too.

Oh, I love you more now
than I did 19 years ago.

You mean you love me more now

than you did the year
after we got married?

No...

Come on, honey, come on.

No, you know what I'm saying.

That newlywed year,
that doesn't count.

That's a given.

You don't know how
long we've been married.

No, no, I was kidding ya.

I know it's our 20th.

How could I forget that?

Who forgets their
20th anniversary?

Huh?

Apparently you.

No, not me.

If I had thought this was
our 19th anniversary,

I would not have
planned a celebration

only worthy of a 20th.

You planned something?

Yeah.

It's gonna be awesome.

I got to go.

Hey. You need a ride to
school, like, this second?

Uh, no, thanks. Actually,
I was just going to take my bike...

Do not leave me, not now.

And where the hell is Seth?
I need reinforcements.

Uh, Seth left early
for school.

He did? He never leaves
early for school.

Yeah, he had a report
to finish I think.

A report? About what?

The history of agriculture
in 20th century California.

Wow, that's specific.

Yep. Happy Anniversary.

Hey, kid,
I was a public defender for many years.

I've been lied to
by the best.

He snuck out to see his
girlfriend, didn't he?

Uh, no, he didn't.

( piano and acoustic guitar
strumming gentle melody )

S02E08
The Power of Love

* California, here we come *

* Right back where
we started from *

* California *

* California... *

* Ah... *

* Since I been here... *

The history of agriculture
in 20th century California?

Ryan, the key to lying
is to remain vague.

Have I taught you nothing?

Look, I'm not a
good liar, all right?

Yeah, well, when it comes to hiding your
relationship with Lindsay,

you seem to not have
such a problem.

Well, we're both
in trouble now.

Yeah, I feel bad about
it, but I don't know,

I think you kind of
deserve it after that.

Okay, you know what?

Next time find someone else
to cover for you.

Cover for me?
Let me tell you something.

If we were buddy cops,

and sometimes I like
to think that we are,

I'd be riddled with
bullets right now.

Hey, guys.

Hey. Hey.

Did you read the
new Whedon X-men?

I did, and I'll tell you my
problems with it; they're threefold...

Okay, it is too early
for comic book talk.

Are you getting a coffee?

Yeah, I'm getting two.

Thank you, sweetie.

Mm. Isn't it interesting
how Summer is constantly drawn

to the lovers of comic books?

Yes, Cohen, Zach
does read comic books.

But Zach also plays water polo

and looks like the guy
on the Abercrombie ad.

Ooh.

Well, you read comic books

and you wear the same clothes
that you slept in.

Uh, excuse me, I did not
sleep in these clothes.

Oh, okay, so putting on the same
sleazy shirt from yesterday is a choice;

good to know.

No, it was just all I had.

Oh, what, did you like, shack
at your girlfriend's last night?

Do the walk of shame
to school this morning?

You shacked at Alex's?

You guys are shacking?

The washing machine broke.

You know, no offense, Ryan,
but you're a really bad liar.

It's cool you guys.
I don't care or anything.

No, hey, I know.

Here you go.

You know what, I can't
drink coffee this early.

It just makes
me nauseous.

Sorry.

If we shoot this way,
we get the house,

but if we shoot the reverse
we get the pool and the ocean.

So square footage
or spectacular views?

Oh... Cal?

Cal?

This photo shoot is important.

You could at least
feign interest.

That's exactly what I'm doing.

I need money.

Well, good morning to you, too.

So listen,
Riviera magazine

wants to do
a big photo spread on us

and I think it's a great
opportunity for us

to demonstrate the resilience
and strength of our family.

It's wonderful exposure.
Any chance to expose yourself, hmm?

Promise me you'll be here
and you'll wear something Mark Jacobs

and you won't be off
with your boyfriend.

So I can smile and pretend
like we're this happy family?

Then I can't give you any money.

For the love of God.

Thank you.

Great way to undercut my power.

I happen to agree with her.

We are far
from the perfect family

and I see no point
in lying about it publicly.

RYAN:
The thing is,

even if I wanted
to lie about it, I can't. I can't lie.

What do you mean?
You have like a moral objection?

No, I mean I can't do it.
I suck at it.

Oh. Like the whole time
you tried to pretend

that you didn't really like me.
Ah.

Yeah, I didn't
buy that for a second.

Yeah, thanks.

I just think it's a matter of
time before Kirsten catches on.

I mean, she's already
pretty mad at Seth and Sandy.

Well, we'll tell her.

Could we wait
a little bit?

Kirsten and I
had plans

to go to the big swap meet
at the Rose Bowl

and maybe check out
Shakespeare By The Sea.

The point is, we're still
getting to know each other.

I know, I just don't
want to have to lie about us.

I don't want to have
to either, believe me.

I could still come over tonight
and say we're going to study?

Mmm...
And really study.

Okay, yeah,
it sounds good.

We'll tell them soon,
I promise.

SANDY:
Oh, thank you.

That sounds wonderful.

We'll see you then.

All right, it was going
to be a surprise,

but seeing how this is
our 20th anniversary, I...

I got to tell you.

This weekend I am taking you,
my beautiful bride of 20 years,

to the fabulous
Montage Hotel and Resort

in breathtaking Laguna Beach.

The Montage gave you a
reservation at the last minute?

Last minute?
What, the phone call?

No. That was me reconfirming.

I was just making sure
they didn't give away our suite

that I had booked
so many weeks in advance.

Regardless of when
you made the reservation,

I don't think we should
leave Seth alone right now.

Seth is not going
to be a problem.

Not after I get done
disciplining him.

The fear of
God, honey.

You'll see.

Start packing your bags.

Seth Ezekiel!

Kitchen, now!

And bring Mr. History
of Agriculture with you.

So what do you have
to say for yourself?

Oh.

Um, I'm sorry.

And also, it
was an accident.

It was not intentional.

We were watching TV
and we fell asleep,

like mom does every
time we put on a movie.

I do not.
I'm just resting my eyes.

You're both grounded.

No going out, no phones,
no TV, no video games.

Don't be a smart ass.

Do you know
what this weekend is?

Sure, it's your
20th anniversary.

That's right, it is.

And I have been looking forward

to this weekend
for quite a while.

( clears throat )

Look, we want to go away
for the weekend

and if we can't trust you
by yourselves,

you'll have to stay
with your grandfather,

which means you'll be spending
the weekend with Julie Cooper.

You can rely on us.
You can trust us.

Good, now go do
your homework.

Nothing like a
little Julie Cooper

to strike terror in the hearts of
children everywhere.

That's very impressive.

So, shall I schedule
a couple's massage?

Hmm, do you know what
the gender for maison is?

What?

Maison, our French homework?

Right, French.

You know half of Orange County
speaks Spanish

and we're learning how
to order baguettes?

Okay, someone's in a mood.

No, I'm not.

Look, it wasn't supposed
to happen like this.

I was supposed
to have sex first.

What are you talking about?

Cohen. He spent the night
at his girlfriend's.

They're obviously doing it.

What happens with Seth and Alex

has nothing to do
with you and Zach.

I know, but I always thought
that I would have sex first,

and that Cohen would catch
syphilis on a public toilet.

You can't rush it.

You have to wait
till you're ready.

You know what, Coop?
You are right.

You want to know
what I just realized?

That Zach and I are ready.
Man, are we ready.

Maybe we should take a break.

What's French for
"Let's have sex"?

Voulez... poulet...
something or other?

I mean, why don't they ever
teach us anything we can use?

( knocking on door )

Seth says you're grounded, huh?

I'm surprised
they even let you in.

Well, I promised I'm
only here to study.

Ah...

- Which, we're here to do.
- Right, right. Study, got it.

Yep, study.

So, look, not that we
were wrong to punish them,

but maybe we're handling this
in the wrong way.

Ah. Post-grounding guilt?

You're such a convincing hard ass,
but deep down, you're such a softy.

Well, if all we do is send them to
their rooms to do their homework.

- What are they going to learn?
- Their homework.

Well, if as parents,

we're supposed to be setting
a good example,

how can we do that if they're not even
in the same room with us?

So you want to cancel
this weekend?

Or maybe we could log
some quality parent-child time right now.

Watching TV?

Why not?

It's Bill O'Reilly.

That'll be punishment enough.

Let me get Seth.

All right, I know
I sent you off to start serving time...

You've got to be kidding me.

( romantic music playing
on stereo )

( kissing )

I'm really starting to get
the hang of this physics thing.

Mmm. Objects in motion
stay in motion?

Mm-hmm.

( knocking )

I...

Oh, my God.

* Hoping you'll see... *

We can't leave
the boys alone.

We have to cancel.

Oh, we deserve this weekend.

Believe me, after the lecture
I gave Seth last night,

he won't open another window again,
much less climb out of one.

Seth?

I'm more preoccupied
with Ryan and my sister.

Well, I understand,

but we cannot fight a war
on multiple fronts.

Have we learned nothing
from the Nazis?

Good morning.
Morning.

Who wants blueberry pancakes?
Banana?

Or if you're feeling
sinful, chocolate chip.

Not going to happen.

Too little too late.

Nice try.
No way.

I wanted to tell you
about Lindsay.

You were too busy studying.
Believe me, I saw.

Ouch. Tag out.

Okay, Dad.
First of all, I'm really sorry.

And now I know you're not
going to believe this, but...

You were doing chin-ups
on the windowsill, right?

He's good.
Tag in.

You trusted us, we lied to you.
There's no excuse.

Yeah, so we just want you to
know that whatever punishment

you decide on... we're fine with.
Absolutely.

You guys have no idea
how badly you screwed up.

No more apologies.
No more pancakes.

You come straight home
after school. Capisce?

Yeah, but about
the pancakes,

we still have
a batch going on...

Capisce.

We can't leave them alone.

Oh, so we get punished, too?

Give me the day to deal with this.
Put some bars on the window.

I'll find out
what's really going on.

Well, I found out
enough last night.

Honey, we're going to
celebrate our anniversary.

Mm.

And the kids are not
getting in the way.

Marissa, honey, wait, please.

I'm late for school.

I just wanted to remind you
about the photo shoot tomorrow.

Great, still not coming.
Marissa, honey...

Look, I know things haven't
been very easy around here--

everything with Caleb
and your father leaving--

but this is the only
family we have,

and I really
want it to work,

and not just for
the photo shoot.

You know, maybe we should take
that trip to Puerto Vallarta.

So now you're bribing me?

Does that mean you'll be there?

You know what? Sure.

I'll even bring DJ.

Marissa...

he's not even our
yard guy anymore.

You understand this is
a portrait of our lives?

And DJ is a part of my life.

So, I'll see if he's free
and we'll get back to you.

( sighing heavily )

I am so sorry I ran away.
I-I should have stayed and apologized.

No, be happy you took off.
Besides, it's my fault anyway.

I kind of knew
we weren't going to study.

Yeah, well, we both knew
we weren't going to study.

You at least had
honorable intentions.

Towards Kirsten, not me.

Right.

Well, at least
she knows, right?

Probably just needs a little
time to get used to it.

How much time
are we talking about?

I'll, I'll talk to her.

I need to talk to her.
I mean, after all, we're sisters.

Yeah, that's kind
of the problem.

Huh...

Hey, look, the manager
is not here right now,

but he has all the permits,
so...

I'm not the cops.

Much worse.

I'm Seth's dad.

That is worse.

Well, I came to apologize
for keeping Seth

from sneaking out of the house
to see you last night.

It's a terrible thing leaving
you hanging like that.

Uh-huh.

You want me to stop
seeing him, don't you?

Yeah.

But seeing how
he's a teenage boy

and you've got tattoos
and run a rock and roll club,

I'm not expecting
any miracles.

So what is this, a warning?

Whoa, you're a little edgy
around figures of authority,

aren't you?

Hey, there's no bar nuts.

What kind of joint is this?

I'll get right on it.

You're a bartender.

You listen to people's problems.

Hear mine.

This is my 20th anniversary.

Or it's supposed to be.
It's not going so well.

Now... my wife is convinced
she can't leave Seth alone.

You need me to baby-sit?

Cute.

You think I'm corrupting him?

I think you're a smart girl

and I think he'll
listen to you.

More than he's going to listen
to his parents right now.

Wow.

( clearing throat )

No dad has ever asked me to
straighten out his son before.

I really don't like
going behind his back,

but I-I think sometimes
in order to be a good dad,

you've got to be a bad guy.

I don't have much experience
with good dads.

Hey, well, listen, you stop
over at the house anytime.

Kirsten and I will be very
happy to ground you, too.

( mellow music playing )

Thank you.

Hi.

Oh.

Hello.
Hey.

So, I have
been thinking.

Maybe we could do
something tonight.

Just you and I, alone.

I've got to pick up my sister
from the airport tonight.

Oh. Why, is she handicapped
or something?

No, she's just... she's
been out of the country.

I haven't seen her
for, like, a year.

Got it.

Well, so, anyways, we've been
dating for a few months now,

and I really like you.

Cool, I like you, too.

Cool.

Well, I was thinking maybe
we could take this to the next step.

You're totally right, Summer.

I've actually been thinking
about it for a while.

I just, I didn't want to rush.

Well, let's rush.
Okay, then.

Uh, this weekend?
This weekend is per-fect.

Good. I'll call my parents
and let them know.

Wow, you really keep
your parents informed, huh?

Well, if they're going to
be meeting my girlfriend,

I think they should
probably know.

And this works perfectly with
Abigail being back in town.

So, like, lunch tomorrow?

Great.

This is going to be great.
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, it's nice.

* But down here *

* I believe *

* That I made a big deal
with a girl that can't bleed *

* Now I see *

* Red and black... *

Hello.

I'm here for my
after school tutorial

in the art
of getting... ( muffled )

Is this the advanced class?

I don't feel good.

All right.

Well, maybe my magic hands
can be of service.

What are we doing?

I call this part
prepping the oven.

No. What are we doing
in the larger sense?

Did something happen?

( sighing )

Your parents are worried
about you.

My parents? How would
you even know about...

Did my dad come by the club?

Your dad stopped by the club.

Oh...

That's embarrassing!

I've never listened
to my own parents.

Suddenly I feel compelled
to listen to yours.

Sandy Cohen has that
effect on people.

So you're going to
need some space.

I'm going to need some space.

Yep, probably a little time.

Definitely some time.

I'm sorry.

Cool.

But tell your parents
Happy Anniversary.

The cars got a full tank of gas

and tomorrow we can
head right out.

You can't be serious.

The boys will be fine
at Caleb's.

I talked to Seth's girlfriend.

She's a bit of a character,
but she seems like a good kid.

Is that why Seth isn't home yet?

I'm not letting the boys
stay with Julie Cooper,

but they can't be left alone.

Honey, they're teenagers.

They like girls.

One of which happens
to be my sister.

So what, w-w-we're
gonna forbid them?

Well, not you. You wouldn't
forbid them anything.

You're too busy being
their best friend.

I'm the one that has to
enforce all the rules.

I've never done more grounding

than I have
in the last 24 hours.

Who let Seth run away
to Portland?

What, we're talking
about this now?

And who went up there
and told him he could stay?

It's a good thing I did.

If I let you drag him home,
we could have lost him forever.

That's why this is happening.

Because he thinks he can do
whatever he wants,

and you'll just keep me
from coming down on him.

You think somebody can stop you
from coming down on somebody?

Right, and I should
find it adorable

that you forgot our anniversary!

Could we please
talk about this later?

We have all weekend.

I canceled the reservations.

Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Come-come on.

Let's do this thing.

So what's going
on with you, huh?

Where'd this Bizarro
Seth come from?

Nice comic book reference.

Please.

So...

you spent the night
at this girl's house.

Are you... are you having sex?

No, Dad. You don't have to worry
about that ever happening

now that you showed up at the
club and worked your magic.

I'm sorry, but you
left me no choice.

What did we do?

Are you angry at us?

No.

Then it's about the girl?

I just, you know, whenever
I'm around her,

I feel like I constantly
have to prove to her

that I deserve to be around her.

Even if it's at the expense
of your parents' relationship?

SANDY:
Hey!

Come on in here.
Join the party.

So...

the last time
I checked in with you,

you and Lindsay were headed
into the friend zone.

We were.

You lied to us.

I know, and I'm sorry.

Well, you know what? I'm afraid
it's a little late for apologies.

From any of us.

My wedding anniversary
weekend is... officially ruined.

How can we help?

( knock at door )

Hey.
Hey.

Um, I-I called your house and
Sandy said you might be here.

I-I had some work to finish.

Right. Right. Um...

I'm sorry.

You know, Ryan and I
started seeing each other

before I-I found out
about everything,

and then i-it all happened
so fast and it was a lot.

I never wanted to upset you.

I know.

And I-I probably overreacted.

No, it... was embarrassing.

Lindsay, maybe you and I
need to take some time.

Accepting Ryan into my home as
my son was a huge deal for me.

And taking you in as my sister,
which I am thrilled about,

it's just complicated.

So, you... you don't
want me seeing Ryan?

I would never say that.

It's just that while
you're seeing him,

maybe we should
take a step back.

A step back?

So, does that mean
we're like cousins now?

Maybe we should be friends.

Friends.

Um... great.

Bye.

( sighing )

I'm not nervous, so you're
not nervous, right?

I'm so not nervous.
Dads love me.

Oh, my dad couldn't make it.

He got held up in D.C. on
some assault weapons ban.

Oh...

Hey, Mom, Abby.

Oh...

( laughing )
How are you?

- This is Summer.
- ( gasps ) Hi.

Oh, it's a pleasure
to meet you.

Zach's told us
so much about you.

Oh, all lies,
I'm sure.

Hi.

All I was trying
to say, Mother...

Abby, I don't think
this is the time.

I don't think Summer
would be interested.

Oh, no, Summer's interested.

Please, whatever you were
chatting about, continue.

I'm a listener.

I was saying that what's
happening in Kashmir

just shows us how
countries can be...

I know, cashmeres this season
were just so cute.

I don't go anywhere
without my cashmere purse.

Summer,

they're, uh...

No, Kashmir, as in
the disputed region

between India and Pakistan.

They fought
three wars over it.

Yes, yes, totally Kashmir.

Yeah,

I agree.

"I agree" with what?

What?

What she means, dear, is
what do you agree with?

Do you think the Indians
should cede Kashmir to the Pakistanis

or should remain an
independent state?

Oh... yeah, tough call.
Hmm.

Two sides to every story.

You know,
you are just so tan.

Zach, here, tells me
you study abroad.

In Saint Bart's, perhaps?
I hear the Four Seasons there is amazing.

I was building an irrigation system
in a village in Southern India.

Hmm.

Maybe we should order.

Lovely.

This is your concept
of time and space?

Oh, don't
flatter yourself.

I'm here on
official business.

And what business
would that be?

Um, I would like my job back.

No.

Listen, the folks, they're
a little bit mad at me, okay?

And needless to say, my
allowance has been impacted.

Now, I don't want to have
to start tightening my belt.

I don't want to have to give up
the vacation homes, the Porshe, the...

You're really tugging
at my heartstrings here.

Look, I get why you're upset.
No, I think you don't.

Uh, because my dad broke up
with you for me?

Okay, now I know you don't.

You don't realize
how lucky you are.

That my dad showed up
and humiliated me?

That he showed up at all?
That he cares that there's something wrong

and his first reaction isn't just
to throw you out of the house?

It still pays minimum wage.

You know where
the bathrooms are.

Are there any other perks?

What's the point, Seth?

It's not like they're ever
gonna approve of me.

Well, maybe there's a way we
can show them you're not so bad.

Hmm?

Smile.

What is taking so long?

He's not painting our portrait.

My face is gonna freeze
in this position

unless you push the button.

Cal, this photograph
is going to be seen

by everyone in
Newport Beach.

You don't want
frown lines.

Okay, if you can all smile.

I am smiling, damn it.

Oh, wait a second.

Hey.
Sorry I'm late.

Oh, my God.

He's come to mow the lawn?

Can't he reschedule?

Oh, I'll handle this.

Handle what?
Tell him to come back tomorrow.

And check for poison oak.

What is he doing here?

I thought you said
she was cool with this.

You must be joking.

Look, either DJ's in the photo or I'm out.
It's up to you.

Now, you know, I'll save
you the hard choice.

I'm leaving.

Works for me.

Thanks a lot.

You can forget your photo shoot.

DJ wait...
Don't.

I'll go.

If having him here means
we get our picture taken,

I'll bring him back.

Like he'll listen to you.

Well, considering I'm not
the one who lied to him,

I think I have a
better shot than you.

DJ, wait up.

What, you need
some hedges trimmed?

Don't be so self-deprecating.

I wanted to thank you
for not causing more of a scene back there.

Oh, save the act, Mrs. Cooper.

I know you hate me
being with Marissa.

It's Mrs. Cooper Nichol,
and you're damn right, I do.

You know, the Nichol on the
end of my name allows me

to write you a check with a
few zeros on the end of it.

What are you talking about?

What do you say, five grand,
never to see my daughter again?

How do you spell
your last name?

Never mind, you can
fill that part out.

You're unbelievable.

I'm doing you a favor, honey.

You and I both
know Marissa

is just using you
to get back at me.

What do you think today
was all about, hmm?

It only seems fair you should get
something out of this relationship, too.

Hey!
Hey.

What's going on?

Ah. Mmm.

Okay, you tell me your news..
Yeah.

...'cause, then, I have some.

Oh, yeah? You want
to go first?

No. You picked this very
important meeting at the pier,

so you get the honors.

All right.

Uh... it's just... us.

This.

It's causing problems
for Kirsten and Sandy,

and... and I just...
I can't do that to them.

I owe them too much, you know?

I... just... think we
should take some time...

space for... a while.

Be friends.

Great.

Two hours ago I had a sister
and a boyfriend,

and now all I have are friends.

Oh, wait, what?

Before I came here, I talked
to Kirsten and she asked me,

without asking me, to choose

between a sister
and a boyfriend.

And... genius that I am...

I chose you.

Had I known that you had
this whole time-space plan,

I might have chosen differently.

I didn't know, I'm sorry.

Ah, yeah, you're sorry.

Cool, 'cause... that really
fixes absolutely nothing.

I've got to go.

* This probably
won't work out *

* We might not live forever *

Oh, there she is!

All day I've been looking
for this beautiful woman.

Happy Anniversary.

Happy Anniversary.

So, come on. Let's go,
let's get ready.

Get ready for what?

My dear, maybe you've forgotten,
but it's our 20th anniversary,

and I'm taking you
to the Arches.

You've got to be kidding.

I know what you're
worried about.

Never fear-- I've hired
some baby-sitters.

Fellas!

SANDY:
Joe, Tim.

Two of Orange County's finest.

We've been friends since
I worked the P.D.'s office.

Evening, Mrs. Cohen.

Your boys will
be safe with us.

Happy Anniversary.

Mmm. My rib eye
is excellent.

How's your turbot?

Fine.

Just fine?

Too fishy?

Send it back
if you want.

Sandy.

Send it back.
Sandy.

All right,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

All I wanted was to give
you a special evening...

and some turbot that
wasn't too fishy.

I know.

I'm sorry I brought up
Portland last night.

That wasn't your fault.

It's just Seth is growing up
so fast and...

I don't want to lose him.

Let's stop apologizing, okay?

Let's just enjoy ourselves.

Look on the
bright side.

We got all of this out
of our system before Valentine's Day.

( chuckling )

Oh, no.

Oh, God.

I don't know how
they did it, Sandy,

but uh, we went outside
for a second-- they were gone.

Check.

REPORTER ( on TV ):
A government spokesman

( knocking on door )

has stated that there is not
much truth in the rumor

that the Pentagon
wastefully dumped

military equipment and
supplies...

I cannot believe what Chirac
said to the farmer's union.

You go, Jacques.

The Economist?

The Nation?

The New Republic?
Okay, what are you doing?

I'm informing myself, Coop.

It's impossible.
There is so much news.

You know, the worst part is,
it is constantly changing.

If everything could just
stop for, like, one day,

maybe I could catch up.

You should just call him back.
He's left you four messages since lunch.

If Zach wants to dump me,
he can do it in person.

At least Zach's
calling you.

I haven't heard from DJ
since the photo shoot incident.

You mean since your
mother spoke to him?

Exactly, and who
knows what she said.

I left him
a message to meet us.

I'm really
getting worried.

Well, I'm past the
point of worrying.

I'm resigned to my fate.

The lunch can't
have been that bad.

Remember how lunch went
with my dad and Cohen?

Mm.

Well, compared to my
performance today,

Cohen came off
like Kofi Annan.

Who's Kofi Annan?

Some guy Zach's mom knows.

I think he works
for United Airlines.

Hmm.

I can't believe you
talked me into leaving them.

Yeah, well,
excuse me for wanting

to celebrate
my 20th anniversary.

How do you know where they are?
A hunch.

Hey, fellas,
let's pick it up, huh?

You got it, Sandy.

Thanks, Tim.

Thank you.

Everything they
said to us--

feeling sorry, wanting
to reform-- all lies.

No more Mr. Nice Guy.

So now you admit that
you were Mr. Nice Guy?

Don't make this about me.

We show a united front,
we show no mercy.

If he wants bad,
I can be bad,

but first...

ALL:
Surprise!

You planned all this?

Well, I prefer
the term "orchestrated."

So, we're here tonight

to celebrate the marriage
of Sandy and Kirsten Cohen.

Woo! Woo!

Yeah.

We all owe them
so much, I think,

because, if they
were never married,

then they never
would have had me,

and think of what all you people
would be missing out on. Now...

That's touching.

So, we'd like
to take a moment

and say thanks for everything.

And...
And.

...apologize for everything.
Yes.

Because here's
the thing.

The fact that
your marriage

can survive the two of us,

is truly inspiring,
and it gets me here.

To Sandy and Kirsten.

Hear, hear!

( cheering )

So now for the evening's
main attraction...

Yeah, I don't know
how many of you people know this,

but back in the day,
Sandy Cohen could cut

a pretty sweet tune.

In fact, he actually
was, uh, Danny Zuko

in the original

U.C. Berkeley production
of Grease.

You're not going up there.

Baby, I'm gone.

So now, appearing live
at the Bait Shop,

one night only...

Sandy Cohen
and the News.

Whoo!

Whoo!
( crowd cheering )

Well, first of all,
before we start,

I want to thank my kids,

Seth and Ryan,

and a new friend
of the family,

without whom none of
this would be possible,

I want to thank Alex.

Well, I guess, uh,
we ought to start, fellas.

I'd like to dedicate this song
to the love of my life

and I-I hope maybe
in another 20 years,

she might forgive
me for this.

( ballad intro begins )

* If I fall short *

* If I don't make the grade *

* If your expectations
aren't met in me *

* Today *

* There's always tomorrow *

* Or tomorrow night *

* Hang in there, baby *

* Sooner or later,
I know I'll get it right *

* Please don't
give up on me... *

There you are.

I'm reading about these attacks

on the Hungarian
minority in Serbia.

Hmm.

I think I know
what's going on here.

What?

That you are breaking
up with me because

you and your family
think I'm an idiot?

Summer, there's lots
of ways to be smart.

It's not just
about knowing Kuala Lumpur

is the capital
of Indonesia,

and I like you because you're
different from my family.

Then you must like
me a whole lot.

* I know... I know I was wrong,
wrong, wrong, wrong *

Yeah, I do.

* I'd like to make amends... *

Just so you know--

Jakarta is the
capital of Indonesia.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

* The love that I never, ever
shown just won't give up on me *

* Every word is true *

Marissa?

Look, I know
why you're down,

but the truth is,
you are better off.

What are you talking about?
You don't even know him.

I know that I offered him
$5,000 as a test to stay away,

and he took it.

I just think you should know
what he's really like, honey.

* I know it's late *

* Late in the game *

* But my feelings *

* My true feelings *

* Haven't changed... *

I'm really sorry
that I freaked out.

We should have told you.

It's, it's a difficult situation.
I-I barely understand it myself.

Look, she's great.

I like her,
but more than anything,

you two should be friends.

We will,

but right now I think you two
should go and dance.

* ...that I've never,
ever shown *

* Just won't give up on me... *

* Every word is true *

I wasn't going to come.

but Seth called me and...

I'm... glad you did,

and I'm sorry about before.

I'm over the time-space plan.

That's a bad, bad plan.

Uh... what about?

She, uh... she wanted
me to ask you...

...if you wanted
to dance with me.

* I don't want you to *

* I know it's late *

* Oh, wait... please, please,
please, please *

* Don't give up on me *

He sounds good, huh?

You know you've
created a monster.

Yeah, I do.
There's somebody I want you to meet.

Oh, hi.

Um, I'm-I'm Kirsten.

Alex.

Thank you so much
for the party.

Oh, no problem, really.
This is the least I could do.

That's true.

Uh, lovely tattoo.

Thank you.

Your husband rocks,
by the way.

I mean, wow.

Well, please don't
tell him that.

* Oh, hold on, baby... *

( applause, cheers )

* Please... *

* Don't give up on me *

Hey.

Hey.

Where have
you been?

I've been calling
you all day.

I know.

I've been
thinking, and uh,

I can't do this
anymore, I'm sorry.

So you took the money.

No,

but that doesn't
change anything.

I know you're upset,
but please, don't let my mom

be the reason.
Marissa,

this isn't
about your mom.

All right, you can't
blame her for everything.

But it's her fault.

I mean, if she wasn't
against us, then there wouldn't be...

Then you probably
wouldn't have dated me in the first place.

I'm not saying
you didn't like me.

Just... not as much
as you hate her.

I'm sorry.

Why?

We had fun.

She left it blank.

So why don't you go on a
shopping spree on her?

You take care, okay?

Yeah, you, too.

( crowd applauding
and cheering )

( raucous blues playing )

* And I can't remember *

* How I met her *

* Seems like she's always
just been hanging on my arm *

* And I can't remember *

* How I ever *

* Oh, thought that I could live
without her woman's charms *

* She loves to lie beside me *

* Almost every night *

* Well, she's no lady,
she's my wife *

* She's no lady,

*she's my wife. *

by paulonline