The O.C. (2003–2007): Season 2, Episode 7 - The Family Ties - full transcript

Previously on The O.C.

- Is it just me, or is Zach perfect?
- He is like Newport's Prince William.

I get nervous, and I start talking,
and then nothing can shut me up.

Except that.

I have missed you all day.
Does this count as adultery?

You're not, like,
becoming friends, are you?

Would that be so terrible?

Really? You don't go to school?
I got kicked out.

Of Corona, Mater Dei
and even Newport Union.

16 years ago I made an error in judgment,
one that almost ruined my marriage.

You're my father?



Hey, man,
what's going on?

Studying.
Would you punch someone, please,

for old time's sake?

All right, fine,
logarithms are the new uppercut, I got it.

Okay.

Wow. Now I see it.
See what?

I been looking through
old photos of my mom,

looking for resemblances
to Lindsay-- look at that.

Are you trying to make this
more awkward for me?

What? It's not like
you dating Lindsay's full-on incest,

you're not even
really related.

You're not-- you
wouldn't get arrested,

you wouldn't
have chromosomally challenged children.

Kirsten's, like, my mom.



Lindsay is...
clearly her sister.

It is kind of weird.

The fact that your mom
doesn't know

that I'm dating her sister,
it's a lot weird.

I think they did a
storyline like this

on The Valley once.
Great, could you tell me

how it ends, then?

Well, you just have
to ask yourself

the question, Ryan:
is she your girlfriend,

or is she your aunt?

Ah, yes, the age-old question.

That's right--
it's a story as old as time, really.

Boy meets girl, boy likes girl,

boy finds out girl
is surrogate mother's

illegitimate half-sister.

I'm guessing it's too soon
to joke, Seth, even for a Cohen.

I just don't know what to do,
you know? What to say.

Well, have you talked to Lindsay?
Nah,

wanted to give her space
over winter break,

let her figure
everything out.

That's all you can do.

And if she comes back
and decides she wants

to be part of this family...

Then we're done
dating, huh?

Unless you want to move
to the South.

Kirsten doesn't know
you're seeing Lindsay, right?

She thinks we're just friends.

Good, 'cause I think it's best

that the Mrs. doesn't find out.

Well, that's something
that every wife wants to hear.

Doesn't find out what?

How much I love you?

Sandy?
Yes?

You don't have
to lie to me.

I know that Renee's testimony
is today, and that my father

is going free.
Yeah.

Sharp as a tack.

Just, it's, like,
a laser beam.

But that doesn't mean
I have to forgive him.

Not after what he did
to Lindsay,

that poor girl.

I've been thinking.

We should do something
for her.

This girl grew up not knowing
who she is or where she's from,

and we're her family.

If she wants us.
Oh, she wants us.

I mean... you guys.

Well, you, too, Ryan--
you're as much

a part of this family
as any of us.

I mean,
if she's my sister,

she's your aunt.

Well, thanks for clearing
that one up, honey.

Actually, she's so young,
she's more like your sister.

Oh. Hey, a sister.

I always wanted
one of those.

Ryan, how about you?

( piano and acoustic guitar
strumming gentle melody )

S02E07
The Family Ties

* California, here we come *

* Right back where
we started from *

* California *

* California... *

SUMMER:
Don't worry about it,

'cause it's no biggie.

What are you
talking about?

When Seth met your dad,

it almost ended
the relationship.

Well, DJ meeting your
dad can't be worse

than when he met your mom.

I suppose this time
he will be wearing clothes.

Hmm, I don't know, DJ
without his clothes on?

Pretty undeniable.

Look, it'll be fine.

Your dad's totally chill.
He won't judge.

It's just, he's the only
sane person in my family,

the only one who comes
even close to getting me.

And I really want him
to like DJ.

Oh, hey, Seth.

What's up, man?
Hey!

What's going on, man?

Did you get my Christmas card?

I did. I appreciate
the apology.

So, uh, we're friends
again, then?

We're real men, okay?

Red-blooded meat eaters.

Occasionally from time to
time we're going to brawl.

It's our nature.

So we can talk about stuff,
confidential stuff,

and it's cool?
Yeah, listen, man,

after all the trouble I
caused, I'm happy to have

a chance to help, so come on.
Okay, um...

while I was in Cabo
with my family,

uh, I ran into
an old girlfriend,

and, uh, we were
at Squid Row, late,

and, uh, we kind of kissed.

All right, well,
first question, um...

this old flame, do you still
have feelings for her?

Well, I really like her kids.

Uh, she's a little
older than me.

She was my math tutor
when I was 14.

Holy...

'80s teen comedy plot.

She's in the middle
of a divorce,

she had had a lot of tequila,
Chingy was playing...

Oh. Chingy and tequila.

Seduction has
no two finer allies.

It was just a quick kiss,

and then I, like, ran
out of there, but...

I feel really guilty.

Well, man,
if it was anybody else,

I would say
keep it to yourself,

you'll lead a much happier life.
No, I can't do that, man.

I know-- because
you have a conscience,

whatever, so you got to be
honest with Summer, then.

Tell her you feel terrible,

and tell her that all it did

was make you realize
how much you like her.

And definitely do not mention

the ex having kids
and multiple divorces.

You should be fine.
You think so?

Yeah, you'll be good.

And you're not gonna
tell anyone, are you?

Zach... even if I wanted to,
the code, it dictates...

I cannot.

( bell rings )

Hey.
Hey.

Uh...

( laughs )

How was your vacation?
How have you been?

Uh...

I wanted to call you.

No, I'm glad you didn't.

I-I mean, I wanted to
talk to you, but...

I haven't really been
in the frame of mind

to talk to anyone
about anything.

Not even your mom?
Uh, not until

I've completed
several hundred hours

of intense psychotherapy.

Which was a very thoughtful
gift from her, by the way.

Well, if you need
some more time.

I mean, if you don't want

to hang out right now,
uh, or ever.

Uh, I-I do.

We just need to find our
own personal Switzerland.

Someplace neutral.

And we can't hang out
at my house 'cause my mom's there, and...

we can't hang out
at your house...

Because your sister's there?

She's not my, um...

I mean, I guess
technically she is, but...

Just so I can be clear
on what everybody is to everybody:

you and the Cohens?

Friends. They're my friends.

And me and you?

More than friends?

More than friends.

And definitely not related.

I don't want this
to be like kissing your sister.

The thought never
crossed my mind.

I got to tell you,
Sanford, you're one hell of a lawyer.

The charges have
been dropped,

and the secrets
of our situation

sealed by the courts.

You did it--
I'm a free man.

And a smug one, too.

Excuse me for wringing
a little joy

out of the one bit
of good news I've had for some time.

Well, never mind the fact
that the news came

at the expense
of your family.

Or did you fail to notice
Kirsten's absence

at the hearing
this morning?

I know I've got
some work to do

on my relationship
with my daughter.

Now, which daughter
are we talking about?

I'm not saying it's gonna
be easy with Kirsten.

Once I get back to work,
I can lighten her load...

Whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait.
Back to work?

Now that the scandal's gone,
there's no reason for me

to distance myself
from the Newport Group.

Except for the fact
that the woman

running the company
hates you.

Which woman are we
talking about?

Well, I hope he's not expecting
a party in his honor.

Yeah, I'll... I'll see
you back at the office.

Bye, Kirsten.

He's free?

He's free.

I might have
to spike these drinks.

I don't know
if they're strong enough.

He, uh... he won't
serve any jail time.

That's it.

It's just...
Over?

What are we talking
about here, Jimmy,

Caleb...

or us?

Mm. Definitely
not strong enough.

Well, I should get back
to the office,

back to my life, huh?

But what if it
wasn't my life?

What if I could just
walk away from it?

Well, that would depend
on what you're walking to.

Maybe we just needed
this time apart

to appreciate each other,

what we had.
But what if we...

can't ever have it again?

I'm willing to find
out if you are.

Hi.

I hope you don't mind me
showing up like this.

I was wondering if I could

give you a ride home.
Oh, uh,

thanks, but I have a car.

A-And there's a better
than 50/50 chance

it'll actually start.
Well, I know there's no right way to do this,

FTD doesn't make a...

Happy Surprise
Sister bouquet?

And, uh, I know you're not on the
market for any new relatives, but...

how about a friend?

We could go grab
a friendly cup of coffee.

Yeah, a friendly cup of coffee
would be cool.

You have nothing

to be nervous about.

It's gonna be great.

What's he into?
Does he like sports?

Uh, he really likes
ESPN Classics.

Is that your mom?

( knocking )

Alex, it's Seth.

Come on, I came over
to welcome you back.

You've really changed
over break. Wow.

Who are you?

Uh, just, um, a guy.

I probably have
the wrong apartment. Sorry.

ALEX:
Seth?

Hey.

What are you doing here?

I came over to say hi,
see how your vacation was.

Didn't realize I needed
to bring my own tourniquet.

Sorry, I just...
I didn't expect you to be here.

Especially so early
in the morning.

It's 3:30 in the afternoon.

Family vacations really
take it out of you, huh?

Oh, yeah.
I bailed on family early.

I just came back to catch up
with old friends.

Wait, so you've been
back for a while and you didn't...

I don't know, call me?

I've been catching up
with old friends.

Who, the large shirtless guy
that answered the door...

he asked, not
remotely jealous.

You know, I am...

so hung over right now.

I just think...
Are you?

Well, have you...
have you eaten anything?

You want me to maybe
put some coffee on

or fix you a sandwich?

Fix me a sandwich?

Hey, Alex, we're going
to go grab some smokes

and some more beers,
we'll be right back.

Okay.

Okay, I'm trying
to do the math here and, uh...

well, I have
a few questions.

I will answer all
of your questions

tonight at the Modest
Mouse concert, okay?

It's just, my head

is killing me and...

So, it was nice to see you.

Really nice of
you to stop by.

Really nice.

SETH:
Nice.

She kept saying
the word "nice."

You know what that
means, don't you?

Aw, she thinks
you're nice.

Yeah, exactly-- nice.

As in lacking any edge
and/or danger.

Well, you did offer
to fix her a sandwich.

Oh... I know.

It's like the more edgy
and dangerous she became,

the more I became
like a Jewish grandmother.

Not your grandmother.

Keep shucking, Seth.
I want dinner ready

by the time
your mother gets home.

Hey, maybe I don't feel
like shucking these, okay?!

Maybe you should go

and shuck 'em
yourself, old man.

( laughs )

That's good.

You had me shaking
in my boots.

I'm so screwed.

Bruce Banner gets mad,
he turns into the Hulk.

I get mad, I turn into, like, a
75-year-old yenta named Sylvia.

Hey, look at all this.

You guys making dinner?

We wanted
to surprise you.

I have a little surprise myself.

Look who's joining us.

PETER:
Oh!

We were having coffee
and we were talking

and then we did
a little shopping.

A lot of shopping.

And next thing

you know,
it was dinner time.

I hope you guys
don't mind me crashing.

No, no, no. Not at all.

I think dinner
with all of us

would be really nice.

Don't you, Ryan?

Nice, yeah.

Hey, kiddo.

Hey.

Why did you and DJ

cancel on me today?

I was looking forward
to meeting him.

It just wasn't a good time.

I had a lot of homework
and he was really tired.

You were busy
making out with Mom.

What?

Marissa.

That... what?

Dad, I saw you.

( sighs )

Okay.

Look...

I know how it must have looked.

Yeah, it looked a lot like it
used to when you would kiss Mom.

But you know, that was before
she was married to someone else.

Look, I wanted to talk to you
about it. We both wanted...

How could you get back together
with her?

I mean, don't you remember how
she ruined your life and mine?

Things are different now.

Oh, really?

So you're not back
to lying, cheating,

and sneaking around again?

I thought
you were past that.

I thought you were going to take
this new money and start over.

Please, let me, let me,
let me explain.

What's there
to talk about?

We already know how it ends.

We've already lived
through this once.

You know, for once,

I wish you would just grow up
and be like a real dad.

( sighs )

What are you doing?

Hey, I just, uh, I needed to
borrow a wife-beater for tonight.

I thought
you had several, so...

Yeah, and why
are you wearing it?

Well, Alex, she
called me nice, Ryan.

So what I'm trying to do

is cultivate
more of a,

more of a bad boy image.

Yeah, I don't think that's
going to get the job done.

You're right.

I need to borrow
your wrist cuff.

Oh, hey, also, remember
that choker you used to wear?

No. Just, no.

All right.

You're extra broodish.
What's up?

Is that Lindsay thing
still bothering you?

Not at all.

I mean, we had a really
nice family dinner.

I know,
I thought so.

Which is part
of the problem, right? Got it.

It shouldn't be a problem.

I mean, Lindsay wants
to hang out with the sister

she never knew she had,
I can't stand in the way.

Or make it all about me, right?

No, that's something
I would do.

Which is perfect

because you're becoming
more like me,

which paves the way
for me

to become
the brooding bad boy.

You realize
we're both screwed?

Dude, I'm wearing
a wife-beater.

( rock playing )

* These walls are paper thin *

* And everyone hears
every little sound *

* Everyone's a voyeurist,
they're watching me *

* Watch them,
watch me, right now *

* They're shakin' hands,
they're shakin' in their shoes *

* Oh, Lord,
don't shake me down *

* Everyone wants two of them *

* And half of everyone else
who's around *

* Laugh hard, it's a long ways
to the bank *

* I can't be blamed
for nothin' anymore *

Hey.

Uh, hello.

What's that?

What's what?

Oh, this?

This is my good friend, John.

John?

Yeah, a good friend of mine.

Who's John?

No, I said, I said Jim.

Or, no, what I meant
to say was Jack.

They're all my friends.

Yeah,

that ought to take
the edge off right there.

Yeah, you guys seem
real friendly.

We're super friendly.

So if you need me,

I'm going to be drinking
by the speaker

'cause I don't care
about tinnitus, okay?

Uh, I've got terrible news,
really.

I've fallen in love
with my ex-wife.

You were married
before Julie?

You're in love with Julie?

I don't believe that.

Oh, unfortunately, I do.

Jimmy, after everything
she did to you before?

I know,
that's what Marissa said.

Marissa knows?

She caught us.

And the things she said...
well, they're all true.

Look, here's the deal.

I can't be here
and be with Julie.

But right now,
I can't be here and...

not be with Julie.

What are you saying?

( sighs )

When Hailey left, I felt

adrift.

So I made some calls
to see what was out there

and I came across
this company

that charters yachts
for sale...

...in Maui.

You're leaving?

Yeah.

I need to get away from here

before I do any more damage
to myself or to my kids...

to, to Julie.

I love Newport,

but it's, it's no good for me
right now.

In the last year,

I've nearly been arrested
and bankrupt

for stealing from my clients,

I got punched out at my
daughter's cotillion,

I lost my house, my family,
I tried to kiss you,

which I-I still feel

terrible about.

I spent the summer drunk
on a boat

with your
25-year-old sister,

and now I'm getting back
together with a woman who,

who started this
in the first place.

I can't stay here
any longer.

I just can't do it.

So when would you go?

Well, they faxed over a contract
a couple of weeks ago.

All I have to do
is sign it and it's mine.

A couple of days

and I'm...
I'm history.

* Your gun went off *

* Well, you shot off your mouth
and look where it got you *

* My mouth runs on, too *

* Shouts from both sides *

* Well, we've got the land *

* But they've got the view *

* Well, now, here's the clue *

You're giving me
the pinky?

I'm not really into
public displays of affection.

All right, let's go.

Outside,
we've got to talk.

So, too bad Coop
couldn't make it.

Um, Zach, only I can
call her Coop.

It's kind of weird
when you say it.

Got it.

Too bad Marissa
couldn't make it.

I'd be freaking out, too

if my mom and dad
were getting back together,

and, like, kept
this huge secret from me.

Yeah, so, uh,

we haven't had
a chance to talk

about our
winter breaks yet.

I know.

Hey! Modest Mouse!

Hey, volume, Cohen.

It's not Metallica.

No, it's not Metallica!

It's Modest Mouse!

Ew! You're like

so sweaty.

Come here.
Wait.

Your breath smells like Marissa!

You are so drunk!

So, hey, you guys
are hanging out. That's cool.

I guess she was cool

with it, right?

- Cool with what?
- The tutor.

Thanks, Seth.

You're welcome.

Welcome.

Hey...

is the stage revolving
or are we?

* We are fixed *

They're really good.

What's the matter?

You know what?
You're the matter.

I mean,

you've been weird
all night.

You've been weird
pretty much

since I showed up
for dinner,

which, by the way,
was weird for me, too.

Well, what happened
to Switzerland?

Uh, Kirsten wanted to hang out

and she's really cool.
She is.

And if you want to hang out
with her, you should.

But if the Cohens
are really my family,

then you are
my family.

Which means kissing me

is like kissing
your sister or step-aunt.

Ryan!

You have to take Seth home,
right now.

He is wasted and leaving a path

of destruction
in his wake.

I cannot believe you.

And I cannot believe
that you told Cohen.

See?

And he puked all over
the merchandise table,

which I now have
to go and mop up.

SETH:
Ah! I know who lives here!

Yeah.
This is the Cohen residence in the heezy.

Okay, okay, we've got
to be really stealth here.

Hey, I was all-camp,

Capture The Flag,

Camp Tacaho,
I invented the stealth.

That's right, you did.
I sure did!

But you're yelling.
You need to be quiet.

I haven't been this wasted

since your first night
in Newport,

when we beat up
those kids.

With a little bit of that...

and a little bit of that.
You need the seat belt.

Little bit of that...
You need your seat belt.

( cans clanging )

What's going on?

You guys okay?

( clanging continues )

Seth?

Shh...

We're being stealth.

Shh.

Look, everything you said
yesterday, you were right.

I'm making the same mistakes
all over again with your mom.

So you're going to end it?

Yeah.

Yeah, I am.
Well, that's great, Dad.

But, it's, uh, it's... it's
more complicated than that.

I, um, I need to get some
perspective on the world,

or... or something.

You're right.

I need to learn
how to be a real dad.

So, I'm, uh, leaving.

What?

Yeah, I'm moving to Maui.

That's your idea
of being a real dad?

Abandoning me
and moving to Hawaii?

It's not forever.

It's only for
six months, maybe.

You can come and visit
anytime you want.

Well, good luck with that.

I mean, I hear Maui's beautiful.

Uh, you know, there's
going to be a good-bye party,

tonight at the Cohens'.

Are you okay?

Uh-huh. Totally.

I mean, you were the last thing
keeping me sane,

so when you leave
it should be interesting

to see how things go.

But, uh, I'll see you tonight.

Hello. I just came by
to tell you I'm dying

and thank you
for your friendship.

Mm-hmm.

Oh... slowly, slowly.

Oh, and also to apologize for
whatever happened last night.

You don't have
to apologize to me.

Have you talked to Zach?

No, why?

Ah, you kind of destroyed
his relationship with Summer.

Oh, I violated the code of man.

Mmm. Talked to Alex?

She won't
answer my calls.

Hmm. Might have something
to do with all the vomit.

All the vomit? How much vomit?

Like the little girl
in Sixth Sense

or the fat guy
in Monty Python?

Well, you wanted
to be a bad boy.

You did bad.

Yeah, but not in a good way.

I've got to talk to Alex.

I'm sure I can be a good bad
boy, not a bad bad boy.

Mm-hmm. Good luck with that.

Aspirin?

Thank you.

You have lobster
rolls, right?

He loves lobster rolls.

Oh, if it isn't
my son, the wino.

You guys found out?

You weren't exactly stealth.

Damn.

I lost a step since Tahoe.

Your dad's been waiting
for you to leave the room,

so he can send you back to it.

That's great.

Um, I know I should probably
be used to this at this point,

but uh, are we
having a party?

It's Jimmy Cooper's
going away party.

Oh, okay, wow. Great.

Then I'm going to run
a quick errand real fast,

and then I'm going
to come straight home.

You're not going anywhere.

Dad, I'm grounded.
I get it, I deserve it, okay?

Even though this headache
is just far worse than any punishment

that you could administer...
No.

I need to go
see a girl very fast,

and then I will
come straight home.

Now, which girl is this?
The one who thinks you're too nice?

The one you're trying
to impress

by drinking
a fifth of Jack?

I think his name was John,

but yes, and Dad, it
went horribly, okay?

So I just need
to talk to her really fast

and I need to, you know,
sort of, you know...

Go upstairs
and get dressed.

You know what,
maybe if I'm grounded,

I shouldn't go to this party.

I'm going to go get dressed.

Stairs.

( knocking )

Hi.

I got you something.

It's the novelization of
The Valley, Season One.

I have the hard cover
signed by Gertie Bridges.

I should go.

No, that's why I'm here.
I wanted to give you a ride.

Actually, I'm going to go alone.

You're going by yourself?

Han Solo. Okay?
But if I change my mind,

I'll have Cohen get drunk
and let you know, okay?

Summer, come on.

Hooking up with your tutor,
Zach?

Not even that cool in the '80's.

I mean, she could have
at least been a hooker

and helped you
get into Princeton.

* Come around
in this fine town *

* Where their freedom
makes the world go around *

*Where dreams are found *
Mushroom with dressing, fried in...

Hey, Julie.

Hey, uh, Kirsten.

Sad day, thinking
about Jimmy Cooper, huh?

Why, I remember when
he was a boy,

taking him out in the boat,
inviting him over...

for dinner.

Hey.
Hey.

What's up?

Listen, I'll see you in a few.
I'm gonna slip out for a while.

I'm trying
to fix things with Alex.

What about your parents?
They're scary.

Which is why I need you
to cover for me, okay?

Just throw up
the smoke screen,

give them some of that
Ryan Atwood double talk.

I barely talk.

Good point. The less
said, the better.

I-I don't think
this is a good idea, man.

You call yourself a bad boy.

* Come on, save it,
come on, save it *

Jimbo.

* This town... *

I'm sorry we couldn't get a
better turnout for you.

Well, considering I defrauded
most of my closest friends...

it's not bad.

I'm going to miss you, Jimmy.

Ah, well. Thanks, Sandy.

How'd she take the news?

I haven't talked to her yet.

Good luck with that.

Hi, Julie.

( clears throat )

Were you just going
to send me a postcard?

I wouldn't have known
you were leaving

if Kirsten hadn't invited me
to your going away party.

Of course I was
going to tell you.

Can we, can we talk
about this

someplace a little bit
more private, please?

Oh, hi.

Look who stopped by.

Hey, Ryan.
Hey, Lindsay.

I'm going to go grab
some champagne.

You two have fun.
Thanks.

All right.

Now we're waving
at each other.

I thought you agreed Kirsten
can't find out about us, right?

Right, because then
it might be weird.

Ryan, have you seen...

Lindsay, hello.

Hey.

Excuse me, I didn't
mean to interrupt.

I'll find Julie myself.

Good to see you.

* Come on, save it,
come on, save it *

Bye, Dad.

Yeah, this isn't going
to be weird at all.

Did you really think
that this was going somewhere?

I don't know, Jimmy.

I was under the impression
that this meant something.

Well, it did.

It... does.

But did you really
think it was going to last?

You really think that
I would leave you again?

Well, history isn't

exactly working
in your favor on that one.

Plus, you deserve

to be happy with Caleb.

Oh, yeah,
that's a storybook romance

with our illegitimate
children

and our tapped phone lines.

At least it's real.

Jules.

Jules.

( sighs )

You've got to go so soon?

I think it's probably best

I go before anyone
knows why I'm going.

( door opens )

Oh, I... I'm s-sorry.

I didn't mean to...

It's fine.

We're just saying
our good-byes.

See you, James.

So long, Jules.

Hi.

Hey.

People I know.

Yeah. Where's Zach?

He couldn't make it.
Where's Cohen?

Oh, he's hurting
from last night.

Well, I'd like to hurt
him for last night.

Kind of a boring party.

Yeah.
Yeah.

Not for long.

I'm fine.

Well, if it isn't the wicked witch
of the west coast.

Are you drunk?

Let me guess: tequila?

She was like this
when I picked her up.

You don't have to defend
yourself to her.

No, but you do, young lady.

Come on, let's go, DJ,

before she tries
to sleep with you next.

What did you say?

You heard me, you whore.

Hey, guys, guys,

not here.

No, let's do it here. Okay?

You know what?
Let's tell everyone

why you're leaving, Dad.

Why don't you tell everyone

why you're leaving.

Huh?

Hello, everybody.

Let's go, Marissa, you're drunk.

Get off of me.

Hey, guys. Come on.

Do you see what
you're leaving me with?

You see how screwed up she is?

Of course I'm screwed up.

I'm the daughter
of a thief and a slut.

You know what, I just...

I just hate you both so much.

You wanted a good
old-fashioned O.C. party.

I just hope she's okay,
and that she calls.

As bad as I thought
she'd take it,

that was worse.

Well, it's going
to be hard for her.

For all of us.

I was hoping
that while I'm gone,

you'd go over to the house
and check up on her.

My father lives
in that house, Jimmy.

I know.

That's why I want you
to go there.

I need to know that someone
is watching over her.

For my oldest friend,
anything.

I can't believe this.

If we had gotten married,
I'd be moving to Hawaii.

No, if I'd married you,

there's no way
I would have left.

I just want to get
the hell out of here.

Where'd they park
my car, Irvine?

Excuse me, Mr. Nichol.

Uh, there's a problem
with your car.

You scratched
my Aston Martin?

Your car's been stolen.

ALEX:
Wow,

who's car is that?

This? It's mine, Alex.

I stole it.

You stole a car?

Yep. I do that sometimes, Alex.

I do it for kicks.

Are you trying
to impress me or something?

What?
You know, with getting drunk

and stealing cars, and...

It's just...

Seth, I've been with
a lot of bad boys

and you are not
one of them.

Right.

Well, I'm just gonna
make a Bundt cake

and put on some tea.

See you later.
No,

Seth, you're a good guy.

And that's why I like you.

Really?

Well, that's good,
because I don't think

this whole bad boy thing is
really working out for me.

( siren )

Me neither.

Is this your vehicle, sir?

( TV plays ):
...happy, high vibrations.

Happy, high vibrational circles.

What are you
still doing here?

Uh, your stepmom
blocked my car in.

I tried to wake her up,
but is she, like,

alive?

Yeah, just heavily medicated.

Uh, how was the party?
I don't know.

Maybe I should
hire you a tutor

and she can catch you up
on everything.

Look...

I've had a lot of
time to sit here,

vibrating at a very high
frequency and think.

And I realize

this is a really
important moment for us.

This is our first fight
that wasn't about Cohen.

I mean, he helped,
but this fight, it's ours.

I guess that's true.

I'm really sorry.

It didn't mean
anything, believe me.

It's not about
what happened, Zach.

It's just that
you didn't tell me,

you told Cohen.

From now on,
I'll tell you everything.

Why, planning on
screwing up again?

Only one way to find out.

( sighs )

We finally have
a moment alone.

Yeah, maybe a chance
to talk about everything.

You know what?

I don't want to.
We keep hypothesizing

how kissing me might be
like kissing your sister,

and I think we should
just find out.

So you want me to kiss you
as an experiment?

Yeah.

And if it truly is weird,

well, then that's
our answer.

Okay.

No, uh, pressure.
Right.

* She's knows everything *

* Everything *

* I'm already somebody's baby *

* You don't deserve
to feel for me *

( knocking on door )

Oh, hey, guys.
I was wondering if you've seen Seth.

No.
We were just looking for him ourselves.

Okay, thanks.

That was close.

Yeah, maybe we should just...

keep this
to ourselves for now.

At least until we find out
if we're breaking any laws.

( doorbell rings )

Hey, Dad.

How was the party?

I think somebody
called the cops.

Hey.

What are you doing here?

I called him.

Thanks, DJ.

Appreciate it.

You mind if I
join you?

I never thought
I'd leave this place.

I guess life doesn't
always turn out

the way you think
it will, huh?

I'll take that
as a pensive "no."

I'm sorry, Marissa.

I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry I let you down.

I'm sorry that I...

I couldn't...

give you the life...

that you deserve.

Although I nearly
went to jail trying.

You've got to give
a guy credit for that.

( cries )

Sweetheart.

Don't go.

( crying )

Please, don't go.

( cries )

Don't leave me.

I got to go.

I got to... I got
to get a life.

I know, I know. It stinks.

But...

But, listen, anytime you
want to come live with me,

you just
let me know, okay?

And I will send a boat
or a plane, whatever, okay?

( sniffs ):
Okay.

It's getting... it's
getting kind of cold.

I think we should
head back, huh?

Want to get
out of here?

Wait.

Can we just...

Can we just
sit here for a while?

Sure, kiddo.

Here, put this on.

You must be
freezing.

I'll sit with you
all night.

( "The World At Large"
by Modest Mouse plays )

* Ice-age heat wave,
can't complain *

* If the world's at large,
why should I remain? *

* Walked away
to another plan *

* Gonna find another place,
maybe one I can stand *

( doorbell rings )
* I move on to another day *

* To a whole new town... *

Hey.

Hi.

Are you okay?

Yeah.
I was just, uh, seeing my dad off.

He left this morning.

I'm sorry.

I brought bagels.

Well, that's the secret password
into the Cohen house.

Come on in.

Hey, sweetie.
Hey.

Hey.

Marissa brought bagels.

Thank God.
These ones are stale.

Yeah, I almost chipped a tooth.

Gather around, Marissa,

I'm going to teach you
how to schmear.

He is an artist
with cream cheese.

Well, thank you, honey.
Slicer.

Slicer.

Cream cheese.

Cream cheese.

So, you going to be okay?

Of course.
We got bagels.

SETH:
Ah, yes, bagels.

Now, Marissa,
this is perhaps the most important part.

Without using excess
cream cheese...

( song continues )

by paulonline