The O.C. (2003–2007): Season 2, Episode 9 - The Ex-Factor - full transcript

Previously on The O.C....

You're this
tough kid from Chino,

with an ex-girlfriend,
who's maybe the most

beautiful girl
in the history of high school.

Yeah, but right now,
I'm here with you.

SANDY: He snuck out to see his
girlfriend, didn't he?

What are we doing?
I call this part, prepping the oven.

What are we doing
in the larger sense?

KIRSTEN: I'd like to place
an order for delivery.

Can I get the crispy
noodles with shrimp,

and the calamari salad.



Get the Vietnamese rolls
and the chicken,

the chicken
with the spicy curry.

And Vietnamese rolls

and the chicken
with spicy curry.

You guys want something
from Thai-Phoon?

Yeah, some
Pad Thai, please?

Yeah, Mom, Mom, will you
order a couple gallons

of that Tom Yum soup

and then the salmon
with the chili lime sauce?

And dumplings, please.

Okay, can we get some
pad Thai, some Tom Yun soup,

Salmon with
the chili lime sauce...

Dumplings...

...oh, and the steamed
dumplings. Yeah, great.



We have ordered enough
for a small army.

SANDY:
I got an idea.

Why don't you two invite
your female cohorts over?

Lindsay's with her mom.

Family therapy,
and to a Truffaut retrospective.

That's a hell
of a double header.

What about Alex?

Howdy.

Uh... what are you doing here?

Okay, that's not the warmest
greeting I've ever received,

but I will take it.

Uh, I didn't expect to see
you here, right now.

I'm kind of busy.

I wanted
to invite you

to have dinner
with the family.

I don't think
that's a good idea.

My ex is in town.

Actually, in my office,

waiting for me.

Oh, your ex.

Well, part of the ABC's
of the ex,

is to step aside
for the I and the U.

But the ex isn't

technically an ex.

We never
really broke up, officially.

It's part of what we need
to figure out, but, um...

I really do want to come have
dinner with your family,

so maybe we can do it
after the ex leaves?

Okay, so the ex is leaving?

When, later tonight?

Staying the night--

that's cool.
Staying the week?

I don't know.

Um... I didn't know

this was going to happen,
and now it has,

and I have to deal with it,
so it would be great,

if you could just...
( clears throat )

...let me figure it out.

Just in other words, stay away
while the ex is in town.

Unless you're cool with the
three of us hanging out.

Okay, well, I'll have
to get back to you on that.

I like the new club.

You ready
to get out of here?

Mm-hmm.
In a minute.

( piano and acoustic guitar
strumming gentle melody )

S02E09
The Ex-Factor

* California, here we come *

* Right back where
we started from *

* California *

* California... *

So what if Alex has an ex?

Most people do.
That's right.

He's probably just
some meat head thug

with her name
tattooed on his bicep.

Well, no threat to you.

Unless, he's a thug
with a heart.

He's done his time.

18 months for robbery.

He was wrong,
he understands that.

He's mature,
he's sensitive, seasoned.

So you're not okay.

Not at all, Ryan.

Not at all.

He's spiraling, huh?

Seth?

He hasn't even begun.

Hey.

Hi, guys.
Hey.

Wow, Marissa, that's
an amazing skirt

and I love your shoes.

Thanks.

I really like your...

...your backpack.

Where is it from?

Oh, um, LL Bean.

Oh, well...

I'm late for class.

But, maybe this weekend
we can all hang,

see a movie
or go to Balboa Island?

Yeah, sounds good.

Okay.

Wow, every day
she looks like

she could be on the cover
of a fashion magazine.

Yeah? Well, I guess.

Good thing I'm
not competitive.

What are you talking about?

Nothing. It's just,
you know, you said it.

Everyone has an ex, and
you seem to hang out with yours a lot.

We do?

Mm-hmm, you do,
like constantly.

Well, maybe you two
should become friends.

We can all hang out
and it wouldn't be weird.

Yeah, me and
the Cosmo girl,

yeah, that wouldn't
be weird at all.

Ah, a massage.

Wow, you must really
need something.

Favor.

Tiny.

Well, ask me while
you're giving me the massage.

I'm much more
inclined to say yes.

It's about work.

As you know, the
Newport Group's reputation

is pretty much
in the toilet.

It's well deserved.

The board wants us
to come up with a plan

to improve
the company's image.

And I figured,
who better to ask, than you.

The man who practically invented
hating the Newport Group.

Well, Yeah, you know,
I was doing it

long before it was trendy.

Yeah, so, any ideas?

Yes, as a matter of fact.
This is perfect.

Perfect's good.

I just got a call
to start working

with the Newport
Housing Initiative.

They want to put up
low-income housing downtown,

and I was going to petition
the City Council.

But the Newport Group
could come up with the money.

Exactly. The housing board
gets a development...

...and the company could do
something good for a change.

Honey, that's perfect.

You've earned more
than a massage.

Where I come from,
that only means one thing.

Mmm.

Hey, I have
a surprise for you.

I love surprises.

Especially when they're
named Jimmy Choo.

Am I about to get whacked?

Here.

Hey, a cupcake.

It doesn't have
stiletto heals,

but I'll eat it anyway.

You know it's not my birthday.

Yes, and I also know

it's our six-month
anniversary.

Oh, my God, it is.

God, it's been six months?

Holy mack.

I know, it's amazing.

I've never been in a
relationship this long.

Neither have I.

Well, I think we
should celebrate.

I would like to take you

to a romantic anniversary
dinner at the Arches.

What do you say?

MARISSA:
So what'd you say?

Oh, you know, that I'm fasting
for an upcoming colonoscopy.

I'm sure that was just the
answer he was looking for.

Mm, yes.

Look, Zach is so unbelievably
great, but six months?

I did not even
date Cohen that long.

When did we get so old?

When did life get so
complicated?

I know.

Remember when we were little
and it was just you and me,

and all the boys had cooties?

Yeah, we'd have sleepovers

and watch Full House
and Step by Step.

Oh, my God.
I loved Full House.

But then, my favorite
character was named DJ,

so I guess that's ruined.

No, look, forget DJ.

Forget Cohen,
and Zach and Ryan.

You know what?
We need a break from the boys.

What, you mean
like a girl's night out?

I do indeed.

Are you telling me you couldn't
use a night without boys?

Well, Full House
is on Nick at Nite.

Really.

Thanks.

So, great news.

Sandy has

an amazing idea

to kick start an image makeover
for the company.

I have better news.
I have a better idea than him.

You haven't heard his yet.

It would be hard for
Sandy's idea

to top the best idea ever.

You ready?

Probably not, no.

Oh, my...

There's so much you here.

A magazine, Kirsten,
about Newport life,

restaurants, events,
gossip...

selling Newport Beach
as an aspirational brand.

Well...

Sandy's idea, which
is in a different direction,

involves funding a low-income
housing development.

Huh, that's kind of cute.
I guess.

But Kiki, we're trying to appeal
to the Newport elite.

We need to think
about who these people are.

Bored, rich gossip mongers,
who like to shop.

They're me.

And I don't care about
low-income housing.

You have a point.

All right.
This is as far as I go.

Thanks for walking me.

Have fun at your emergency
comic book meeting.

Why do I get the feeling Seth
won't be talking about comics?

You okay?

Yeah, sure, I like eating alone.

You know, you know
who you could sit with?

LINDSAY:
Uh, no, that's okay, really.

Come on, the sooner
you get to know her,

the sooner she'll stop being my
ex and become your friend.

Ryan, don't, okay?
Please?

I'm sure they
don't even eat.

RYAN: Hey.
Hey.

You guys mind
if Lindsay joins you?

I've got to meet Seth.

Oh, no, the emergency
comic book meeting

Zach was summoned to?
So you heard.

Have a seat, Lindsay.

Great, thanks you guys.

See ya.

This is so good.

Great idea hitting
the drive-thru for lunch.

It'll probably be hours
on the elliptical trainer

working those off, huh?

Coop, exercising?
Now that's funny.

Ha-ha.

So you guys can just eat
cheeseburgers

and look like you?

No, sometimes
we get chili fries, too.

Why, what are you eating?

Oh, um, it's a Zone meal.

It's low carb.

Oh, so we were just in
the middle of planning

our girl's night out
for this weekend.

Do you want to join us?

Me?

What do you say?

Okay, sure.

Break it down for me, guys.

And don't be afraid
to be honest.

What you should have done
is tell her,

take all the space you need.

I know
this must be hard.

Boom! You're a hero.

You look confident,
but like you still care.

That is so the way
I should have played it.

When do we discuss
the new Avengers?

Okay, Philip, your membership
has been revoked.

Now you're not there
for me, I'm not there for you. Beat it.

Philip, he doesn't mean it.
He's just upset.

No, you, two. I don't care
if you're still in junior high.

I think you're on to something.
I like it. You know what?

I'm going to give her a call, tell her
I'm giving her some space.

No, no, Seth,
Dude, don't do that.

What's happening?

He's calling her.
What?!

Whoa, whoa.
Give me that.

It's going to voice mail.
I'm leaving a message.

No, you are not!

Geez, man, fine, whatever.

Forget calling her.
I'm gonna go down there.

No.
Yeah, I am.

I deserve to see the guy
I'm losing her to.

You're not going down there.
Yeah, I have to, okay?

My paycheck is down there.
Yes, yes! That's perfect.

She owes me $38.

I have to go down there, okay?

How am I supposed to live
without that money?

A man's got to eat.

What if I go down there?

And I come with you? Okay.

Look, I'll go down there.

I'll say I'm picking up
your paycheck,

sniff around for the ex.

Okay. Check him out,
report back to me?

Maybe snap a few photos?

Sure, what
do you say?

Yeah, all right.

Listen, Seth, you've gotta
apologize to Phil, man.

He took that really hard.

Philip, he's always
been the weak one.

Hey, Philip, come on, man.

I'm sorry about what
happened back there.

Heat of passion,
you know how it is?

I'm sorry, sometimes
Bruce Banner

turns into the Hulk.

Hey, I talked to the guys
over at the Housing Initiative.

They are on cloud nine
over there.

Cool. Good.

They're going
to draw up a proposal

for you to bring to work.

Okay, honey, I don't
want to alarm you,

but there is a giant
Julie Cooper on the table.

It's Julie's idea

for the image makeover.
A magazine.

I'm assuming you nipped
this one in the bud?

Well, she did her homework,
ran the numbers.

The proposal wasn't bad.

You're not actually
considering this, are you?

Well, there's a lot
of ideas on the table, Sandy.

Well, when you shoot down hers,
be sure to toss this, will you?

It's giving me the willies.

Hi. Hi.

I'm here to pick up a paycheck,
name is Cohen.

So you must be Alex's new guy.

The famous Seth Cohen.

No, I'm his friend, Ryan.

I'm just doing him a favor.

Oh, I really wanted
to meet this Seth.

Oh, yeah?

I'm Jodi.

You're the ex.

So you didn't see
anything at the club?

I mean, there were no shady guys

hanging around Alex's office?

Definitely didn't
see any guys.

Uh, are we meeting
Zach here or at the comic book store?

Here. Now, you must
have seen someone.

Tell me this,
who gave you the check?

Tell me everything
that happened.

In fact, better yet, reenact it,

word for word. Go.

Zach!

Hey! How are you?

So good to see ya.
How are you?

Good. I'm good.

I'm terrible,

actually. Uh...

I think I freaked Summer out.

I don't know, she bailed
on our date, and now

she's doing
some girls'-night-out thing

at The Bait Shop.

She's not returning
any of my phone calls.

I don't know, maybe some
new comics will ease the pain.

I feel that pain--
so why don't we

go down
to The Bait Shop tonight

and give the girls
a little talking to?

Or we could forget
about the girls, you know?

Do our own thing.
Have a guys' night out.

I like my plan,
where we go to The Bait Shop.

Oh, come on, we spend
every night with the girls.

Let's try one night
without them.

It could be kind of fun.
Hey!

Eh?

It could be just what I need--

a reinvestment in my manhood.

A time-out to reflect

what it means to be a man.
Seth.

Yeah, I'm in.

Sanford.

Is Kirsten here?
Uh...

I was hoping to have
a bit of a chat with you both.

It's about this ungodly magazine
of Julie's.

You heard about it?

Heard about it?

I got an 80-foot mockup
in my kitchen.

It's gonna haunt me
in my sleep.

Well, I don't intend to
let this thing go ahead.

If Julie launches this magazine,
she'll embarrass herself,

the company, the family.

So how are you gonna
break it to her?

The woman's a
warrior, Sanford.

I'm not facing her alone.

Oh, so that's
where we come in.

The three of us
form a united front,

tell Julie that the magazine
is a terrible idea,

that she'll regret it.

What do you say?

How about that?
I actually agree with you.

RYAN:
Relax, you're gonna have fun.

Yeah, definitely.

I mean, not only am I spending
the night with Marissa,

but I'll get to see my dad,
who barely acknowledges me.

Nope, he's gonna be out
at dinner.

I checked with Marissa.

So, when did you... guys meet?

I mean, how'd you start
going out

in the first place?

Me and Marissa? Come on.
What?

I mean, were you guys
lab partners?

Fire drill buddies?

No, no.
( laughs )

Uh...

actually it was
my first night in Newport.

I was, uh...

I was sitting in Sandy's car,

waiting to see if Kirsten would even
let me in the house,

and...

I walked down to the
end of the driveway,

and... there she was.

We started talking, and...

...I don't know, we just, uh...

connected.

She wasn't like anybody
I'd ever met before.

Till you.

Right.

Have fun.

Yeah.

Hey, do me a favor,

take care of her
tonight, all right?

Okay, Ryan,
I'm not eight.

I promise I'll take care
of her, Dad.

Or I'll try anyway.

Uh, please don't feel like
you have to baby-sit me.

Oh, no, that's just Ryan.

He gets very protective.

You'll see.

Uh, so Summer should be here
any second.

'Kay. ( chuckles )

Uh, so this is where you live.

I mean, of... course it is.

I mean, it's...
it's really nice.

Thanks.

Yeah,

sit.

Hey, you know what?

Um... how about
an icebreaker?

Oh, uh...

I don't...
I don't really...

Sorry. That's totally cool.

Oh, not that I-I judge
anyone who does,

it's just not something...
Don't worry about it.

Okay.

( doorbell rings )

That must be Summer,

so I'll just go grab the door.

You know, hang out,
make yourself comfortable.

( sighs )

What am I doing here?

Okay, it is
0700 hours.

Let the record show
that guys' night out

has officially begun.

Okay, Seth, uh,
0700 means it's 7:00 a.m.

Okay, nobody cares that
you were in ROTC.

Now, listen to me--
tonight, Newport is our bitch, okay?

So let's go
out there

and let's do
what guys do.

Yeah.

Ryan, what
do guys do?

Oh, we could head out to L.A.

You know, hit a club.

Go to Vegas.
Road trip to Tijuana?

Okay, that didn't work out
so well last time,

but these are good shapes
of ideas.

You want to stay home
and play video games, don't you?

So bad.

Yeah, this Summer thing has got me
tied in knots, man. I vote we stay in.

We should get you out of the house.
It'll take your mind off things.

Or, or, we could let the fun
come to us, okay?

We have everything we need here

for a perfect
night, okay?

We've got a working television,

a bevy of
comic books,

lamps... right?

Okay. That's all you need

for a rollicking
good time,

so my proposal
is guys' night in.

Guys' night in.

Thanks.
Thanks.

So here we
are, just us.

Right.

This is so much fun.

Mm.

So,

what happens now?

Well, we could
walk by the bar,

see if anyone
checks us out.

Hello!?

No boys tonight,
that's the whole point.

Okay, well, we can at least talk
about them, right?

'Cause let's face it, without that,
we got nothing.

So, boy talk.

Who wants
to start?

You know, um...

I've been thinking,
the whole sobriety thing.

You've read my mind.

Hmm.

( sighs )

( coughing )

Oh!
Oh!

( coughing )

Maybe some tonic
and lots of ice would help.

You okay?

Yeah, it burns a little.
Yeah. Uh, yeah.

Do what you want.

If you need to
call him so bad.

What? Look, I had no idea

that you were gonna show up
out of nowhere,

and I didn't have any chance
to tell him anything about us.

Why? Are you embarrassed
about us?

Sorry to interrupt,

but, uh,

there's no paper towels
in the girl's bathroom.

Uh, I'm all over it.

Thanks. That was a conversation
that I did not want to have.

Yeah, I know
all about those.

I have them with my
mom all the time.

I mean, the
nerve of Alex!

She has a secret boyfriend
the whole time,

and she just never gets
around to telling me?

I know, man.

All I wanted was
to celebrate

our six-month anniversary,

and Summer heads for the hills.

You and Summer have been going
out for six months?

This is so not how I imagined
our guys' night out.

I say we go to the club,
and we put up a fight.

No, bad idea.

Why? Our girlfriends bailed

on us to go drinking at a club.

Have you seen
the infomercials

for Girls Gone Wild?

'Cause this is exactly

how they begin.
He's right. I'm going.

Me, too.
Seth, I'm telling you

as your friend, don't do this.

You know something, don't you?

No, no, I don't.
Don't ask me.

Dude, I am a man in the desert.

I am dying of thirst.

You have a thermos full
of Kool-Aid?

Come on, give me a sip.

Did you meet the ex?

I know you did.

All right, yes, I did.

And? Who is he?

He?

He's a she.

What?

Who needs a little more?

Somebody's got to drive.

Not me.

Why don't I go
track down some coffee?

You're not scary.

Uh, thanks, I think.

Yeah, I mean, like, before,
you were, like, scary.

Not like boogie-man
scary, you know, but...

Lindsay, you've got nothing
to worry about.

Ryan really likes you.

Yeah.

Can a guy ever get over a girl
like you?

Summer, right?

We're in the same
comp lit class together.

Right.

I'm sorry, I'm
usually asleep.

Oh, Matt Miller.

So, where's,
uh, where's Zach?

I don't know.

It's a girl's
night out.

You know about
me and Zach?

Oh, we're on
the water polo team together.

Happy anniversary.

You know about our anniversary?

Well, yeah, he brought it up
in the locker room.

Six months is big.
We were all talking about it.

So Zach's turning
the locker room

into a Lifetime movie?

( laughs ):
The water polo team is very sensitive.

It's tough to see
from here.

Yeah, uh, always tough
to see from here.

You want to try upstairs?

Yeah, sure, why not?

Haven't scoped
it out yet.

So Alex hooked up
with a girl.

It's not a big deal, Seth.

Ryan, my girlfriend
dated a girl.

It's a very big deal.

There's only one thing
I can do to make it okay.

Going to hook up with a guy?

I repeat, there's only one thing
I can do to make it okay.

I need to see this girl,
'cause right now,

my imagination's
just running wild.

Dude, so is mine.
She's hot, right?

Listen,

I know I'm supposed
to be attracted, okay,

and I'm supposed
to be turned on.

I've read Maxim,
I've read Stuff, but you know what?

All it's making me feel like

is Alex is even more
out of my league.

Maybe you should just wait
to talk to her

till you calm down a little bit.

Nope, got a lot of testosterone
pumping right now, Ryan--

testosterone being
the key ingredient missing

from Alex's
previous relationship.

I just need to remind her
of that.

Come on!

This should go well.

( sighs ):
I hate traffic.

But you have to think
big picture,

because this magazine
could go national.

Why wouldn't America
be fascinated

with the lives and loves

of Orange County's
rich and fabulous?

We're all beautiful,
and we're all dysfunctional.

Surf, sex and scandal--
it's a recipe

for a cultural phenomenon,
don't you think, Cal?

Well, I would rather hear

what, uh, Sandy and Kirsten
have to say.

Let's-let's not talk
about work anymore.

Kirsten,

why don't we put her
out of her misery?

Julie,

it's a lousy idea.

( scoffs )

Thanks for rushing
to my defense, Cal.

Really, very
touching.

Oh, it's, uh...

my job to remain impartial,

objective.
And cowardly?

Fine.

I'll just sit here
and get insulted by a man

so ignorant about business,

he chose as a career
to work for free.

I-I-I don't...
I don't work...

That's pro bono
work, Julie.

Why am I defending
myself?

If you want a business
perspective, ask Kirsten.

JULIE:
I did.

She called Newport Living

just the thing to keep
the Newport Group living.

She said that?

I-I wasn't that poetic.

Oh, honey,

I-I-I did some
research.

This has promise.

I'm so sorry it had
to come out this way.

No, it's my fault.

I've once again
let myself

get caught up
in the middle of this...

nasty game of Hungry,
Hungry Hippos.

Well, this
time, I'm out.

You're all on your own.

Waiter?

He'll take the check.

Okay, I'm going
to check the bar.

I'll look upstairs.

Seth, we can
still turn around.

Yeah, that's a
good idea, Ryan.

Yeah?

You take the lounge.

Thanks.

Hey.

So, where is she?

'Cause I will totally fight
a girl.

I have a job,
which I'm busy doing,

so if you came down here for some big,
dramatic confrontation,

it's going to
have to wait.

Fine! I will wait!

I don't know what
my problem is.

I just get so
claustrophobic.

Sounds to me like maybe
you don't want a boyfriend.

Well, if he's not right for me,
then nobody is.

Zach, what are
you doing here?

I thought tonight
was the night

for the girls to be
without the boys.

It doesn't look like it.

What are you doing here
with Matt Miller?

That guy'll hit
on anything that moves.

Oh, thanks
for the news flash, O'Reilly.

What, are you,
like, making your rounds?

Yeah, yep,
that's what I'm doing.

I'm checking up on you.

Okay, then why
are you here?

I don't know. Bad idea.

Hey.

There you are.

( drunkenly ):
Hi, there you are!

( Lindsay chuckling )

My numb is tongue.

She drunk?

Mm, I think that I
need some fresh air.

Uh, that's a good idea.

Let's get you out of here.

Okay.
All right?

Bye.

( squeals )

( laughing )

Julie took off?

She insisted
on me putting her in a cab.

Apparently, it is
my husbandly duty

to support her ideas.

She's got a point.

Support each other
no matter what.

That's the name
of the game.

Which is why I'm going
to support Sandy

at the board meeting.

Putting the marriage
ahead of the company...

Bold move.

Go with Julie on this one.

You won't regret it.

Hmm.

You know,

you're not as stubborn
as everybody thinks you are.

Nah, it's just
too much wine.

Mm.

RYAN:
So, how you feeling?

Oh, I feel so great.

Yeah?

Let's go swimming.
Come on.

Hey, hey, swimming,
in the ocean, at night?

Yeah, what's the matter?
Are you scared?

No.
( screams )

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
( laughing )

You all right?

Oh, geez.

How much you drink, huh?

I don't know,
as much as Marissa.

That's a lot.

Well, I am on a
liquid diet tonight.

No dinner, too, huh?

Well, in that case...
you hang tight for a minute.

I'm going to go grab
some greasy fries

and a lot of coffee.
Oh...

The Ryan Atwood special.

Fries sound so good.

Don't they?
And then we'll go swimming.

It'll be fun, because
when the weather is cold,

the water is warm.

All right, we'll talk
about it when I get back.

All right?

Okay.
All right.

Stay there.

You okay?

( knocking )

Are you trying
to wait me out?

'Cause it's not working.

It is working, that's
why you're not waiting.

Okay, let's just get this over with
-- come on in

and tell me everything
that I've done to wrong you.

Okay, uh, for one,
you lied to me.

I did not lie to you.

I told you that my ex
was in town,

and you filled in the blanks.

Blanks that you left blank.

You know, it's part
of your move.

It's kind of part
of what you do.

You got your whole
too-cool,

Jem and the Holograms thing
happening,

and I feel
like you consistently

blowing me off
is part of your act.

So now you think
its an act?

I think it's a crutch--

with the hair
and the tattoos

and the whisky and cigarettes
for breakfast.

You know, I've actually seen
The Banger Sisters--

part of it, on cable--

and I know
how the story ends.

Well, I'll make sure
to Netflix that this weekend

so I can be up to speed
on your little theory.

Great, you do that.

Point is, this was
really fun for a while,

but it is just not worth it,
so I will see you.

So, what are you going to do?
I don't know.

Maybe I'll find a new girl
to walk all over me

or maybe even be cool to me.

Lindsay!

Lindsay!

Lindsay! Lindsay!

RYAN:
Lindsay! Lindsay!

Lindsay!

Lindsay!

Lindsay!

Ryan! What are you doing?!

Lindsay! She's out here, Seth!

Get help!

Lindsay's fine!

What?!

I just saw her!

She's fine!

She's passed out!

They took her
to Alex's office!

I guess she went
looking for you.

I ran into Marissa,
who was doing the same thing.

Yeah? I can't
wait to see her.

What happened to you?

Is she okay?

ALEX:
She'll be fine.

She's just sleeping it off.

I should get her home.

I can do that.

I think you've done enough.

Oh, okay, so this is the part

where you blame it all on me?

You're right,
it was Lindsay's idea

to pound straight vodka
and pass out.

Feel good to see someone else
messed up for a change?

It was her idea.

And okay, so it got
a little out of control.

It always does
with you!

You spent all last year
trying to drag me down with you,

and now her?

You want to make a mess
out of your own life? Fine!

You're doing a pretty good job
of it, if you ask me.

No one asked you.

What did you say?!

Hey, Ryan, let's, let's go.

I'm not leaving
her here.

I'll take care of her, you go.

SETH:
Yeah, come on.

It'll be fine.

Ryan, let's go.

Just call and let us know
she's okay.

( door shuts )

( sighing )

Let's get her out of here.

Yeah.

Hey, uh, black and white
milk shake, please.

One.

Zach.

Hey.

So... I'm sorry for being
Ultra Bitch 2,000 tonight.

"Tonight"?
Fair enough.

It's just that...

my whole dating experience

amounts to
a six-month angst fest

with cuckoo-for-Cohen.

So, when I'm with you--
someone who is sane

and normal-- it's like
I was raised by wolves.

Do you need the drama?

Well, if by that you mean
do I miss the wolves?

No.

See, wolves--
they pee all over the place

marking their territory.

Gross.

But...

while I'm learning
how to not howl at the moon,

I need to take baby steps.

Like this anniversary thing?

I got it.

And don't worry,
if we're still together

when we hit the one-year mark,

I'm going
to totally blow it off.

I think
that is the sweetest thing

anyone has ever said to me.

Alex called.

Lindsay's home.

( sighing )

Everything okay?

I assume so.

We didn't really
have a long talk.

She hung up on me.

Which is
maybe a hint

that I really screwed
things up tonight.

I don't think
me and Marissa

will be hanging out
anytime soon.

Mmm. I was probably
too hard on her, huh?

There were flashes
of the old Ryan Atwood.

It's just that it brings back
old issues, you know?

Marissa, my mom.

I don't think you have to lump
Lindsay in that category, though.

She's probably just
trying to let loose.

Or Marissa
pressured her into it.

I think that if Lindsay
was feeling any pressure,

it was probably coming from you.

I mean, you kind of shotgunned
them into that relationship.

But I mean, the girlfriend
and the ex as friends--

I think that
goes against nature.

Mmm. Sounds like someone
could follow their own advice.

Yeah.

Yeah, I should apologize.

It's just my pride.

What pride?

Yeah, I guess there's nothing
standing in my way.

So, do you want
to drive, or me?

You.
All right.

( chuckling )

Hey.

Hey.

If you're still angry,
you have every right to be.

No, well, that's
good to know.

But here's the thing.

I'm not angry at all.

Ever since I left the law firm,

your father's been grooming me
to be his henchman,

and I've been letting him.

I think in some way,

I've just been postponing
the inevitable.

And that is?

Figuring out what to do next.

Sandy, we can still
make your housing idea work.

I'm going to go on record
recommending the project.

I appreciate that.

But I'd rather
you didn't.

Julie's magazine is
always going to give

me the heebie jeebies,

and business-wise,
it's probably your best bet.

Besides, if I
work with you,

your father
will ambush us

every time we try
to have a date.

That was the worst date
we've ever had, wasn't it?

A double date

with your father
and Julie Cooper.

Sounds like the plot
of this movie.

Maybe we shouldn't
both be here.

I mean,
it's potentially

too much apology
for one doorstep.

We're not doing it
at the same time.

That's good,
'cause I don't think

the synchronized apology
would work.

Yeah.

It's like you're stalking me.

Yeah, but I'm stalking you
with good intentions.

I came to apologize.

So did I.

Marissa's inside.

RYAN:
Thanks.

And so is Jodi, so you and me...

are outside.

RYAN:
Hey.

Look, I don't know.

I, I...

( sighs )

I guess I was hoping
this could be easy--

for you and me
to stay friends,

for you and Lindsay
to be friends.

And have us all
live happily ever after?

Yeah, something like that.

I know it seems like
a million years ago we dated,

but it wasn't.

I know that.

And okay, maybe
you're over it.

Maybe it doesn't mean anything
to you anymore.

Maybe it never did.

But it meant a lot to me.

You meant a lot to me.

You still do.

It's not like that. I...

I don't know
what it's like.

And thinking you and Lindsay
should be friends

was a bad idea.
Why? I like her.

And if you do the math,
she's my stepsister, so...

I guess.

Clearly, it's going to be
strange for us for awhile.

Yeah, I know, you're right.

I'm sorry.

That's what I came here to say.

I'm sorry, too.

So, you and Jodi?

You getting
back together?

Uh, I doubt it.

She's kind of
a pain in the ass.

But maybe
that's my type.

Right.

So then, does that mean that
we can go back to before?

'Cause I could forget
this ever happened.

Okay, I'll wait.

'Cause that's
what adults do.

They wait,
so I'm waiting.

Adult style.

RYAN:
Hi.

You ready?

Yeah, I guess so.

Um...

thanks for coming by.

And I'm sorry, too.

( door opening )

Hey. Jodi went to sleep.

Cool.

I think we've seen
the last of the guys.

I wouldn't be so sure.

There's still like, what,

four minutes of
girl's night out left?

I've had enough
of girls and guys.

There's an old horror movie on.

Works for me.

( sighing )

Mmm...

Are you cold?

by paulonline