The Nanny (1993–1999): Season 3, Episode 14 - Oy to the World - full transcript
An animated Christmas special. Brighton is acting very selfishly, and Fran wishes he could learn that Christmas is not about what you get but what you give. On their way to help at a homeless shelter a gust of wind whisks Fran, Br...
♪ She was working
in a bridal shop
in Flushing, Queens
♪ 'Til her boyfriend
kicked her out
♪ in one of those
crushing scenes
♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go?
♪ She was out on her fanny
♪ So over the bridge
from Flushing
to the Sheffield's door
♪ She was there
to sell makeup,
but the father saw more
♪ She had style!
She had flair!
She was there!
♪ That's how
she became the nanny!
♪ Who would have guessed
that the girl we've described
♪ was just exactly what
the doctor prescribed?
♪ Now the father
finds her beguiling
♪ Watch out, C.C.!
♪ And the kids
are actually smiling
♪ Such joie de vivre!
♪ She's the lady in red
when everybody else
is wearing tan
♪ The flashy girl from Flushing
♪ The nanny named Fran!
I just love her.
You know,
I've seen her in person.
She looks much younger.
Fran,
the storm is getting worse.
How is Santa gonna
deliver all the presents?
Gracie, the man is
bigger than Dom DeLuise,
and he fits through a chimney.
Believe me, he can
get through a blizzard.
Oh! I'm glad you're enjoying
your new golf shoes, sir.
Thanks, old man.
Now, hold still.
I wonder if Mr. Belvedere
started like this.
Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
let me help you with that.
Excuse me. Pardon me.
(GROANING)
Almost there. No problem.
Here we go.
Miss Fine, don't you think
you should take off
your heels?
No. They're very comfortable.
Okay. Give me the star.
All righty.
(SNEEZES)
(ALL SCREAMING)
Do you think it looks crooked?
(SIGHING)
Maxwell, stop fooling around.
We have work to do.
C.C., it's Christmas Eve.
Again?
Well, thank God
for this blizzard.
If I'm lucky,
it will hit so hard
they'll have to cancel
this whole horrific holiday.
Tea?
(BEEPING)
C.C.'s got the right idea.
I could definitely
live without that
whole buying-gifts-
for-people tradition.
But you don't
mind receiving them.
Well, duh.
Brighton, you're missing
the whole meaning
of Christmas.
I know what it means.
Two weeks off from school.
No, Brighton.
It's about giving of oneself.
Yeah. The gift part
is totally meaningless.
Bonuses excluded.
You put on your coat, mister.
We're going down to
the homeless shelter
and feed some of
the less fortunate.
You're gonna learn
what it feels like
to give of oneself,
if it kills you.
Here, Chester.
(BARKS)
(GROWLS)
(SCREECHES)
Whoa!
Go fish.
BRIGHTON: Help, Maggie!
Dad, how come
Brighton gets to go out?
BOTH: Whoa! Whoa!
Whoa! Whoa!
Give to the poor.
Give to the...
Sorry.
Whoa!
Where are we?
I don't know,
but whatever goes up
must come down.
Wow! This hairspray
really does hold.
Oh, Chester, are you okay?
Are you all right?
I've been better.
Well, as long as you...
What?
Brighton, did you hear that?
The dog talked!
Picture this.
Inhaling
way too much hairspray,
suddenly hears dogs talking.
Tonight in The Nanny Zone.
Run for your life.
It's the worst storm ever.
C.C., the Abominable Babcock,
is out to destroy Christmas.
Fran, the snowman talked.
Oh, so I guess it's okay
for the snowman
to say a few words,
but God forbid,
the dog gets
a little chatty,
and I'm ready
for the loony bin.
What should we do?
Run!
Which way do we go?
Follow me.
Oy! You have one
glass of eggnog...
This river is hot chocolate!
Yeah. It's so warm and cozy.
You know, it's like
being back in the womb,
if your mother
was a chocolate bunny.
Brighton, see that
big white raft? Grab it!
This isn't a raft.
It's a marshmallow!
All right.
We have to stay calm.
Everything's under control.
Honey, we're
traveling via marshmallow
down a hot chocolate river
with a dog who's
talking my ear off.
This is under control by you?
CHESTER: Better.
(EXCLAIMS)
(TURTLES CHATTERING)
Fran, look,
we're in Candy Land.
Everything's edible.
It's a test.
I know it's a test.
And it's all free.
I failed.
Look, an ice cream castle.
It's a banana split-level.
(MUMBLING)
Fran, stop praying.
We're gonna be okay.
No, honey.
I'm praying it's all fat-free.
FRAN: I wonder if they got
Weight Watchers up here.
Brighton, calm down.
Stop hoarding all the candy.
That kid never
knows when to stop.
Do you need a Gas-X?
(BURPS) No, it passed.
Meanwhile, look at
this delicious candy cane.
Oh, my!
(SCREAMS)
Oh, my!
I've had
my food repeat on me,
but this is ridiculous.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Hi. I'm Fran, and this
is Brighton and Chester.
I'm Elfis.
Elfis?
Yes, Elfis.
♪ They call me Elfis
Because of my pelvis
♪ King of the elves
Thank you very much.
You know,
Vegas is looking
for someone like you.
Meanwhile,
can you tell us
where we are?
You're at Santa's castle.
Well,
this is just about
the most delicious house
I've ever seen.
Well, Santa is
the second richest
person in the North Pole.
Oh? Who's the richest?
The dentist.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Is he single?
There. I'm finished
with my last lemon drop.
(LAUGHS WICKEDLY)
What was that?
Oh, that was C.C.,
the Abominable Babcock.
She gets irritable
like this every 28 years,
and this year
she's threatening to ruin
the whole holiday.
Well, what's her problem?
Well, she's only happy
when she's making
everyone around her miserable.
Sounds like my mother.
Be careful.
She's 2,000 pounds
with arms like a wrestler.
Oy! She is my mother.
Let me talk to her.
Obviously, she has
never met the likes of
Miss Fran Fine.
Listen, sweetie.
Whoa!
We'll talk later, honey.
Hello. Who are you?
The name is Kris Kringle.
Pleased to meet you.
Really?
And where is Mrs. Kringle?
You know,
the one that looks
like Barbara Bush?
Oh,
she's just a figment of
my publicist's imagination,
as is the red suit,
the beard,
and the jelly belly.
Gee, if I knew
he looked like this,
I might have converted.
I'm Fran Fine, the nanny.
And this is
Chester and Brighton.
Isn't that sweet?
He's bringing back
all that candy
for his sisters.
Yeah, right.
Santa,
he just doesn't know
the meaning of sharing.
It's like my mother
with a lamb chop bone.
She's like Cujo
with that marrow.
Fran, you don't believe
this is really Santa?
Well, Elfis, it seems like
we have a non-believer.
Really?
Well, if you insist.
♪ Well,
it's a wonderful feeling
♪ So we won't ever grow
♪ But we're working
out three feet of fun
for Mr. Ho! Ho! Ho!
♪ Making toys ♪ Making toys
♪ For girls and boys
♪ For girls and boys
♪ We're bringing
joy to the world
♪ I call it "Oy to the world"
♪ Oh, that's nice
♪ I like it ♪ Oh, yeah
♪ She calls it
"Oy to the world"
♪ Yeah, oy to the world
♪ Say, you'd be a good elf
You're cute as can be
♪ And I hear you're a graduate
of the nasal academy
♪ But I'm too big
♪ No, you're just right
♪ That's not a wig
♪ Oh, what a sight
♪ You're like the seven dwarfs
And I'm Snow White
♪ Let's bring
some joy to the world
♪ I call it "Oy to the world"
♪ Oy to the world
Elfis, you're such a mensch.
♪ Oh, yeah
Oh, wonderful, wonderful.
MAN:
Elfis has left the building.
Brighton, you can't take
all those toys home.
It's all right.
He said he's gonna share them
with his three best friends.
Yeah. Me, myself, and I.
Not to be a buttinsky, Santa,
but look at the time.
When are you gonna start
delivering all the toys?
Unfortunately,
with this storm blowing up,
there won't be any
delivery this year.
I think C.C.,
the Abominable Babcock,
has finally found a way
to cancel Christmas.
(ALL GASPS)
And she gets like this
every 28 years?
She's very regular.
It's so sad.
I just can't imagine
a world without Christmas.
What will we do?
No Christmas.
Wait!
If there's no Christmas,
there's no
after-Christmas sales.
Well, I am certainly
not going to let
that cranky cloud
cancel this holiday.
Come here!
(ALL WHISPERING)
Look, there's the ice palace.
Oh, I can't believe
I have to save Christmas.
Five minutes ago
we were in a warm castle.
I was about to
watch The Shaggy D.A.
Where's your courage?
Where's your compassion?
Listen to me.
I'm looking for
a test of character
from someone who drinks
out of a toilet.
Look at that!
She left the window opened.
Well, I guess she isn't
worried about a draught.
Oh! Oy!
You see, I figure
she's got a whole
solar depravation
thing happening,
you know, cranky 'cause
she doesn't get enough sun.
Well, if I turn up
the thermostat
and warm her up,
she'll be in a good mood.
Now, Chester,
you're my lookout.
Just whistle
if you see anything.
There it is!
(BUZZING)
I don't know what
you're so worried about.
I will pulverize
that Abominable Babcock
if she gets anywhere near...
(WHIMPERING)
Will you stop fooling around?
(YELPING)
Will you cut it out?
(LAUGHING)
I thought
I told you to whistle!
Hello! I have no lips.
Oh, all right.
Just remember,
whatever happens,
we're in this together.
Right?
All for one, one for all.
Who did this?
She did.
C.C.: Christmas is doomed.
(LAUGHING)
Don't change the channel.
Oh, honey,
this will take forever.
Give me that
picture of Mel Gibson.
(SIGHING)
Fran, I wanna go home.
We can't just bail on Santa.
Niles is making
your favourite
apple-raisin stuffing.
We're out of here.
I'm afraid that's impossible.
With this terrible storm
the Abominable Babcock
is blowing up,
I won't be able to
ride my sleigh tonight.
Uh, am I just stuck
here a day or two,
or are we talking
my next waxing appointment
will be under
the name Magilla Gorilla?
(CLOCK CHIMING)
Oh, no.
It's beginning, sir.
Look around.
Everything's
beginning to freeze.
There isn't much time left.
I haven't seen anyone
this cranky since
my sister went
three years without a date.
Hey, wait a minute.
That's it.
I've got another great plan.
Well, I quit.
They used 12
different Beethovens,
and I don't even have
one lousy stunt double.
Listen to me.
When the going gets tough,
the tough throw a party.
Excuse me.
I have a soirée to plan
for a certain ice princess.
Throw a party for
the Abominable Babcock?
Well, there's no way
I'll be going to that.
Hello. Thanks for coming.
Have some rumaki.
Fran, why would you
want the Abominable
Babcock at a party?
She's an evil ice princess.
She should be destroyed.
Oh, leave it to me, honey.
I know what I'm doing.
You fools have
nothing to celebrate!
Christmas is finished!
So go!
Oh, shove a sock in it,
you big old bag of wind.
What? How dare you?
You know, I don't know
what her secret admirer
sees in her anyway.
Come again. Did you say
secret admirer?
Huh?
Oh, yeah. You have
a secret admirer. See you.
Wait!
And just who might
this secret admirer be?
Well, honey, he's very cute,
good personality,
and he's a weather
just like you.
Well, toodles.
Get back here!
Will you stop acting
so hard up?
Men do not like women
who are so desperate.
Now, I am going to
introduce you to him,
but only if you promise
that you'll stop trying
to destroy Christmas.
All right. I promise.
None of this cranky business,
or I'm never fixing you up
again.
I swear I'll be moderate
with my weather patterns.
Now introduce us.
The suspense is killing me.
We should be so lucky.
Shh!
C.C., the Abominable Babcock,
I would like you to
meet your secret admirer,
the Rain Man.
Yeah, definitely rain.
Definitely raining.
15.783 inches of rain
in the North Pole this year.
(CHUCKLING)
Oh, isn't he adorable?
Hello. Could I interest you
in a little stroll
around the planet?
Definitely.
I'm an excellent driver.
(CHUCKLING)
(ALL CHEERING)
Oh, Fran, that was so cool.
It worked. It's a miracle.
Honey, now that is what
Christmas is all about.
You give with your heart,
you help the less fortunate,
and you offer your friendship.
That's when miracles happen.
Don't give gum to Chester.
He'll be blowing bubbles
out the wrong end.
Going my way?
Well, I don't usually
take rides from strangers.
Oh, look,
you put on your costume.
On you it works.
Ho! Ho! Ho!
Wow! The actual reindeer.
Hi, doll. I'm Dancer.
♪ Baby, remember my name,
remember... ♪
All right. Cut it out.
Are you Blitzen?
It's Blintzes.
Who else are they gonna get
to work on Christmas Eve?
You know,
Rudolph's a little
under the weather.
Chester, would you
lead my sleigh tonight?
Hi. I'm Vixen, and I'm
a sucker for a fly boy.
What do you say?
I say we have some
toys to deliver, woman.
FRAN: I've got
the perfect ensemble
for just this occasion.
It's strange
that no one's left you
any cookies this year.
Yes. Very strange.
What? I'm not even
getting minimum wage.
Whoa!
Brighton,
it's the homeless shelter.
Look, it's Santa!
Well, this is our last stop.
Woops!
We have a problem.
I seem to have miscalculated.
I'm short a few presents.
You know,
the man has nothing
to do for 364 days.
Boys and girls,
I'm afraid I have
some bad news.
Unfortunately...
Wait, Santa.
You forgot about
these presents.
Oh, Brighton, that's so sweet.
Those were the toys
you so selfishly hoarded
the whole time
we were in the North Pole.
I know. But I've got
plenty of toys at home.
And us kids,
we have to look
out for each other.
Brighton, you're making me
all verklempt.
FRAN: Oh, what a day.
I can't believe
I'm driving Santa's sleigh.
What an upper.
It's my way of thanking you
for saving Christmas.
Oh, Santa, please,
it's nothing.
But between you and me,
I might have ended up
on your naughty list.
If you wouldn't mind
erasing my name...
Deal.
Woops!
Whoa!
Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas!
Daddy, there they are.
Are you okay?
Miss Fine, are you all right?
Yeah, yeah. Sure.
Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
you won't believe
the day I had.
First, I saved Christmas,
and then I drove the sleigh.
Tell them, Brighton.
Frostbite.
Stop it! Brighton,
don't you remember
anything?
The last thing I remember,
we were on our way
to the homeless shelter,
you got hit in the head,
and we got caught in
a blizzard.
Hey, we gotta go.
It's closing soon.
What's your rush
all of a sudden?
Don't you know
what Christmas
is all about?
We kids have to look
out for each other.
I'm sure you're just
a little shook up.
Let's go inside
and get our coats.
And perhaps we'll all go
to the homeless shelter.
I guess it was a dream.
Jewish reindeer,
candy castles,
dogs talking.
Of course it was a dream.
You ate all that chocolate
and your pants still fit.
Oh, right.
Hello!
Okay. The first thing we do
is book you on Letterman.
You know, I'm very tight
with Paul Shaffer.
He's a cousin.
Well, my neighbor's cousin.
But who's counting?
in a bridal shop
in Flushing, Queens
♪ 'Til her boyfriend
kicked her out
♪ in one of those
crushing scenes
♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go?
♪ She was out on her fanny
♪ So over the bridge
from Flushing
to the Sheffield's door
♪ She was there
to sell makeup,
but the father saw more
♪ She had style!
She had flair!
She was there!
♪ That's how
she became the nanny!
♪ Who would have guessed
that the girl we've described
♪ was just exactly what
the doctor prescribed?
♪ Now the father
finds her beguiling
♪ Watch out, C.C.!
♪ And the kids
are actually smiling
♪ Such joie de vivre!
♪ She's the lady in red
when everybody else
is wearing tan
♪ The flashy girl from Flushing
♪ The nanny named Fran!
I just love her.
You know,
I've seen her in person.
She looks much younger.
Fran,
the storm is getting worse.
How is Santa gonna
deliver all the presents?
Gracie, the man is
bigger than Dom DeLuise,
and he fits through a chimney.
Believe me, he can
get through a blizzard.
Oh! I'm glad you're enjoying
your new golf shoes, sir.
Thanks, old man.
Now, hold still.
I wonder if Mr. Belvedere
started like this.
Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
let me help you with that.
Excuse me. Pardon me.
(GROANING)
Almost there. No problem.
Here we go.
Miss Fine, don't you think
you should take off
your heels?
No. They're very comfortable.
Okay. Give me the star.
All righty.
(SNEEZES)
(ALL SCREAMING)
Do you think it looks crooked?
(SIGHING)
Maxwell, stop fooling around.
We have work to do.
C.C., it's Christmas Eve.
Again?
Well, thank God
for this blizzard.
If I'm lucky,
it will hit so hard
they'll have to cancel
this whole horrific holiday.
Tea?
(BEEPING)
C.C.'s got the right idea.
I could definitely
live without that
whole buying-gifts-
for-people tradition.
But you don't
mind receiving them.
Well, duh.
Brighton, you're missing
the whole meaning
of Christmas.
I know what it means.
Two weeks off from school.
No, Brighton.
It's about giving of oneself.
Yeah. The gift part
is totally meaningless.
Bonuses excluded.
You put on your coat, mister.
We're going down to
the homeless shelter
and feed some of
the less fortunate.
You're gonna learn
what it feels like
to give of oneself,
if it kills you.
Here, Chester.
(BARKS)
(GROWLS)
(SCREECHES)
Whoa!
Go fish.
BRIGHTON: Help, Maggie!
Dad, how come
Brighton gets to go out?
BOTH: Whoa! Whoa!
Whoa! Whoa!
Give to the poor.
Give to the...
Sorry.
Whoa!
Where are we?
I don't know,
but whatever goes up
must come down.
Wow! This hairspray
really does hold.
Oh, Chester, are you okay?
Are you all right?
I've been better.
Well, as long as you...
What?
Brighton, did you hear that?
The dog talked!
Picture this.
Inhaling
way too much hairspray,
suddenly hears dogs talking.
Tonight in The Nanny Zone.
Run for your life.
It's the worst storm ever.
C.C., the Abominable Babcock,
is out to destroy Christmas.
Fran, the snowman talked.
Oh, so I guess it's okay
for the snowman
to say a few words,
but God forbid,
the dog gets
a little chatty,
and I'm ready
for the loony bin.
What should we do?
Run!
Which way do we go?
Follow me.
Oy! You have one
glass of eggnog...
This river is hot chocolate!
Yeah. It's so warm and cozy.
You know, it's like
being back in the womb,
if your mother
was a chocolate bunny.
Brighton, see that
big white raft? Grab it!
This isn't a raft.
It's a marshmallow!
All right.
We have to stay calm.
Everything's under control.
Honey, we're
traveling via marshmallow
down a hot chocolate river
with a dog who's
talking my ear off.
This is under control by you?
CHESTER: Better.
(EXCLAIMS)
(TURTLES CHATTERING)
Fran, look,
we're in Candy Land.
Everything's edible.
It's a test.
I know it's a test.
And it's all free.
I failed.
Look, an ice cream castle.
It's a banana split-level.
(MUMBLING)
Fran, stop praying.
We're gonna be okay.
No, honey.
I'm praying it's all fat-free.
FRAN: I wonder if they got
Weight Watchers up here.
Brighton, calm down.
Stop hoarding all the candy.
That kid never
knows when to stop.
Do you need a Gas-X?
(BURPS) No, it passed.
Meanwhile, look at
this delicious candy cane.
Oh, my!
(SCREAMS)
Oh, my!
I've had
my food repeat on me,
but this is ridiculous.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Hi. I'm Fran, and this
is Brighton and Chester.
I'm Elfis.
Elfis?
Yes, Elfis.
♪ They call me Elfis
Because of my pelvis
♪ King of the elves
Thank you very much.
You know,
Vegas is looking
for someone like you.
Meanwhile,
can you tell us
where we are?
You're at Santa's castle.
Well,
this is just about
the most delicious house
I've ever seen.
Well, Santa is
the second richest
person in the North Pole.
Oh? Who's the richest?
The dentist.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Is he single?
There. I'm finished
with my last lemon drop.
(LAUGHS WICKEDLY)
What was that?
Oh, that was C.C.,
the Abominable Babcock.
She gets irritable
like this every 28 years,
and this year
she's threatening to ruin
the whole holiday.
Well, what's her problem?
Well, she's only happy
when she's making
everyone around her miserable.
Sounds like my mother.
Be careful.
She's 2,000 pounds
with arms like a wrestler.
Oy! She is my mother.
Let me talk to her.
Obviously, she has
never met the likes of
Miss Fran Fine.
Listen, sweetie.
Whoa!
We'll talk later, honey.
Hello. Who are you?
The name is Kris Kringle.
Pleased to meet you.
Really?
And where is Mrs. Kringle?
You know,
the one that looks
like Barbara Bush?
Oh,
she's just a figment of
my publicist's imagination,
as is the red suit,
the beard,
and the jelly belly.
Gee, if I knew
he looked like this,
I might have converted.
I'm Fran Fine, the nanny.
And this is
Chester and Brighton.
Isn't that sweet?
He's bringing back
all that candy
for his sisters.
Yeah, right.
Santa,
he just doesn't know
the meaning of sharing.
It's like my mother
with a lamb chop bone.
She's like Cujo
with that marrow.
Fran, you don't believe
this is really Santa?
Well, Elfis, it seems like
we have a non-believer.
Really?
Well, if you insist.
♪ Well,
it's a wonderful feeling
♪ So we won't ever grow
♪ But we're working
out three feet of fun
for Mr. Ho! Ho! Ho!
♪ Making toys ♪ Making toys
♪ For girls and boys
♪ For girls and boys
♪ We're bringing
joy to the world
♪ I call it "Oy to the world"
♪ Oh, that's nice
♪ I like it ♪ Oh, yeah
♪ She calls it
"Oy to the world"
♪ Yeah, oy to the world
♪ Say, you'd be a good elf
You're cute as can be
♪ And I hear you're a graduate
of the nasal academy
♪ But I'm too big
♪ No, you're just right
♪ That's not a wig
♪ Oh, what a sight
♪ You're like the seven dwarfs
And I'm Snow White
♪ Let's bring
some joy to the world
♪ I call it "Oy to the world"
♪ Oy to the world
Elfis, you're such a mensch.
♪ Oh, yeah
Oh, wonderful, wonderful.
MAN:
Elfis has left the building.
Brighton, you can't take
all those toys home.
It's all right.
He said he's gonna share them
with his three best friends.
Yeah. Me, myself, and I.
Not to be a buttinsky, Santa,
but look at the time.
When are you gonna start
delivering all the toys?
Unfortunately,
with this storm blowing up,
there won't be any
delivery this year.
I think C.C.,
the Abominable Babcock,
has finally found a way
to cancel Christmas.
(ALL GASPS)
And she gets like this
every 28 years?
She's very regular.
It's so sad.
I just can't imagine
a world without Christmas.
What will we do?
No Christmas.
Wait!
If there's no Christmas,
there's no
after-Christmas sales.
Well, I am certainly
not going to let
that cranky cloud
cancel this holiday.
Come here!
(ALL WHISPERING)
Look, there's the ice palace.
Oh, I can't believe
I have to save Christmas.
Five minutes ago
we were in a warm castle.
I was about to
watch The Shaggy D.A.
Where's your courage?
Where's your compassion?
Listen to me.
I'm looking for
a test of character
from someone who drinks
out of a toilet.
Look at that!
She left the window opened.
Well, I guess she isn't
worried about a draught.
Oh! Oy!
You see, I figure
she's got a whole
solar depravation
thing happening,
you know, cranky 'cause
she doesn't get enough sun.
Well, if I turn up
the thermostat
and warm her up,
she'll be in a good mood.
Now, Chester,
you're my lookout.
Just whistle
if you see anything.
There it is!
(BUZZING)
I don't know what
you're so worried about.
I will pulverize
that Abominable Babcock
if she gets anywhere near...
(WHIMPERING)
Will you stop fooling around?
(YELPING)
Will you cut it out?
(LAUGHING)
I thought
I told you to whistle!
Hello! I have no lips.
Oh, all right.
Just remember,
whatever happens,
we're in this together.
Right?
All for one, one for all.
Who did this?
She did.
C.C.: Christmas is doomed.
(LAUGHING)
Don't change the channel.
Oh, honey,
this will take forever.
Give me that
picture of Mel Gibson.
(SIGHING)
Fran, I wanna go home.
We can't just bail on Santa.
Niles is making
your favourite
apple-raisin stuffing.
We're out of here.
I'm afraid that's impossible.
With this terrible storm
the Abominable Babcock
is blowing up,
I won't be able to
ride my sleigh tonight.
Uh, am I just stuck
here a day or two,
or are we talking
my next waxing appointment
will be under
the name Magilla Gorilla?
(CLOCK CHIMING)
Oh, no.
It's beginning, sir.
Look around.
Everything's
beginning to freeze.
There isn't much time left.
I haven't seen anyone
this cranky since
my sister went
three years without a date.
Hey, wait a minute.
That's it.
I've got another great plan.
Well, I quit.
They used 12
different Beethovens,
and I don't even have
one lousy stunt double.
Listen to me.
When the going gets tough,
the tough throw a party.
Excuse me.
I have a soirée to plan
for a certain ice princess.
Throw a party for
the Abominable Babcock?
Well, there's no way
I'll be going to that.
Hello. Thanks for coming.
Have some rumaki.
Fran, why would you
want the Abominable
Babcock at a party?
She's an evil ice princess.
She should be destroyed.
Oh, leave it to me, honey.
I know what I'm doing.
You fools have
nothing to celebrate!
Christmas is finished!
So go!
Oh, shove a sock in it,
you big old bag of wind.
What? How dare you?
You know, I don't know
what her secret admirer
sees in her anyway.
Come again. Did you say
secret admirer?
Huh?
Oh, yeah. You have
a secret admirer. See you.
Wait!
And just who might
this secret admirer be?
Well, honey, he's very cute,
good personality,
and he's a weather
just like you.
Well, toodles.
Get back here!
Will you stop acting
so hard up?
Men do not like women
who are so desperate.
Now, I am going to
introduce you to him,
but only if you promise
that you'll stop trying
to destroy Christmas.
All right. I promise.
None of this cranky business,
or I'm never fixing you up
again.
I swear I'll be moderate
with my weather patterns.
Now introduce us.
The suspense is killing me.
We should be so lucky.
Shh!
C.C., the Abominable Babcock,
I would like you to
meet your secret admirer,
the Rain Man.
Yeah, definitely rain.
Definitely raining.
15.783 inches of rain
in the North Pole this year.
(CHUCKLING)
Oh, isn't he adorable?
Hello. Could I interest you
in a little stroll
around the planet?
Definitely.
I'm an excellent driver.
(CHUCKLING)
(ALL CHEERING)
Oh, Fran, that was so cool.
It worked. It's a miracle.
Honey, now that is what
Christmas is all about.
You give with your heart,
you help the less fortunate,
and you offer your friendship.
That's when miracles happen.
Don't give gum to Chester.
He'll be blowing bubbles
out the wrong end.
Going my way?
Well, I don't usually
take rides from strangers.
Oh, look,
you put on your costume.
On you it works.
Ho! Ho! Ho!
Wow! The actual reindeer.
Hi, doll. I'm Dancer.
♪ Baby, remember my name,
remember... ♪
All right. Cut it out.
Are you Blitzen?
It's Blintzes.
Who else are they gonna get
to work on Christmas Eve?
You know,
Rudolph's a little
under the weather.
Chester, would you
lead my sleigh tonight?
Hi. I'm Vixen, and I'm
a sucker for a fly boy.
What do you say?
I say we have some
toys to deliver, woman.
FRAN: I've got
the perfect ensemble
for just this occasion.
It's strange
that no one's left you
any cookies this year.
Yes. Very strange.
What? I'm not even
getting minimum wage.
Whoa!
Brighton,
it's the homeless shelter.
Look, it's Santa!
Well, this is our last stop.
Woops!
We have a problem.
I seem to have miscalculated.
I'm short a few presents.
You know,
the man has nothing
to do for 364 days.
Boys and girls,
I'm afraid I have
some bad news.
Unfortunately...
Wait, Santa.
You forgot about
these presents.
Oh, Brighton, that's so sweet.
Those were the toys
you so selfishly hoarded
the whole time
we were in the North Pole.
I know. But I've got
plenty of toys at home.
And us kids,
we have to look
out for each other.
Brighton, you're making me
all verklempt.
FRAN: Oh, what a day.
I can't believe
I'm driving Santa's sleigh.
What an upper.
It's my way of thanking you
for saving Christmas.
Oh, Santa, please,
it's nothing.
But between you and me,
I might have ended up
on your naughty list.
If you wouldn't mind
erasing my name...
Deal.
Woops!
Whoa!
Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas!
Daddy, there they are.
Are you okay?
Miss Fine, are you all right?
Yeah, yeah. Sure.
Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
you won't believe
the day I had.
First, I saved Christmas,
and then I drove the sleigh.
Tell them, Brighton.
Frostbite.
Stop it! Brighton,
don't you remember
anything?
The last thing I remember,
we were on our way
to the homeless shelter,
you got hit in the head,
and we got caught in
a blizzard.
Hey, we gotta go.
It's closing soon.
What's your rush
all of a sudden?
Don't you know
what Christmas
is all about?
We kids have to look
out for each other.
I'm sure you're just
a little shook up.
Let's go inside
and get our coats.
And perhaps we'll all go
to the homeless shelter.
I guess it was a dream.
Jewish reindeer,
candy castles,
dogs talking.
Of course it was a dream.
You ate all that chocolate
and your pants still fit.
Oh, right.
Hello!
Okay. The first thing we do
is book you on Letterman.
You know, I'm very tight
with Paul Shaffer.
He's a cousin.
Well, my neighbor's cousin.
But who's counting?