The Nanny (1993–1999): Season 1, Episode 13 - Maggie the Model - full transcript
Chloe Simpson, one of Maxwell's old girlfriend's pre-Sarah, is coming for a visit. Chloe unceremoniously dumped Maxwell twenty years prior. Maxwell still has very fond memories of Chloe and his heart is still aflutter over her. Niles, on the other hand, has a more realistic and harsh view of Chloe as a self-centered man-eater. And C.C. hates Chloe as a potential rival for Maxwell's affections. Chloe, a world renowned former model and now owner of her own modeling agency, sees on first sight model potential in Maggie. Chloe sets up a test photography session, which makes Maggie excited and a little full of herself. Fran's view of Chloe starts to diminish as Chloe usurps Fran in Maggie's life. Fran's view completely deteriorates when at the test shoot, she overhears Chloe and the photographer's discussion about how terrible Maggie is. After all is said and done, Chloe is hard and insensitive to Maggie about the test shoot. In the end, Chloe leaves the Sheffield's lives as quickly as she swooped in, but her departure has a little less fanfare and much less anticipation.
Don't touch me.
I'm not touching you.
Fran!
I'm not touching her.
Oh, maybe I should
play the game too.
I'm not touching you.
Whoops!
Ow!
I guess I'm not as good
at this game as you are.
Hello, everyone.
- Hello.
- Hello.
Brighton, that's amazing.
Can you imitate Niles too?
Daddy, Brighton's
not touching me again.
Brighton, I've told you before
not to not touch your sister.
Now, go on
upstairs,
both of you.
Get ready for dinner.
Put on something nice.
Oh, you're taking the kids
out to dinner?
Where're we going?
I'm gonna need at least an hour.
Actually, we're eating in.
Oh, well, then I'm gorgeous.
Good, because Chloe Simpson's
coming to supper.
Chloe Simpson the model?
Seventeen magazine, Dippity-Doo?
Oh, my God.
Look at me.
I'm a
schlub.
Miss Fine, she's just a person.
No, you're just a
person.
I'm just a person.
She's the "Pssst" girl.
I beg your pardon?
Don't you remember
Pssst Dry Shampoo?
When your hair was too greasy,
but you didn't want to wash it,
so you'd spray in some Pssst,
and it'd be great for weeks.
What, did you sleep
through the '60s?
No, actually, I bathed.
Oh, Niles,
there you are. Good.
We have a dinner guest
arriving in half an hour.
Half an hour?
Did your finger break?
You couldn't have called?
I'm sorry, sweetheart.
I got held up
in a meeting.
I...
What am I saying?
Niles, we'll have
the Chateaubriand,
the asparagus hollandaise.
Get a couple of bottles
of the Rothschild
out of the cellar, and...
oh, yes, your hazelnut soufflés.
Straight away, sir.
Wow, you're taking this
a lot better than I am.
How do you do it?
Oh, please, Miss Fine.
I'm a trained professional.
I have 30 years' experience.
♪♪ She was working
In a bridal shop ♪♪
♪♪ In Flushing, Queens ♪♪
♪♪ Till her boyfriend
Kicked her out ♪♪
♪♪ In one
Of those crushing scenes ♪♪
♪♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪♪
♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪
♪♪ So over the bridge
From Flushing ♪♪
♪♪ To the Sheffields' door ♪♪
♪♪ She was there to sell makeup
But the father saw more ♪♪
♪♪ She had style, she had flair
She was there ♪♪
♪♪ That's how she became
The Nanny ♪♪
♪♪ Who would have guessed
That the girl we described ♪♪
♪♪ Was just exactly
What the doctor prescribed? ♪♪
♪♪ Now the father
Finds her beguiling ♪♪
♪♪ Watch out, C.C. ♪♪
♪♪ And the kids
Are actually smiling ♪♪
♪♪ Such joie de vivre ♪♪
♪♪ She's the lady in red ♪♪
♪♪ When everybody else
Is wearing tan ♪♪
♪♪ The flashy girl
From Flushing ♪♪
♪♪ The nanny named Fran ♪♪
Why is it whenever
someone important
is coming over,
your hair never comes out
big enough?
Oh, yes, I've been there.
Can you believe Chloe Simpson
is coming to my mansion?
That's who
I'm making dinner for?
Uh-huh.
Madam Pssst?
Why did I cook the meat?
Why not throw it to her raw?
Niles, I'm sensing
some hostility here.
Now, dish.
Divulge the details of
their torrid love affair,
which ended
with Mr. Sheffield's heart,
still beating,
being torn from his chest?
I couldn't.
Oh, yeah, you know,
it's best left unsaid.
Now, don't tell me more.
Mm.
Not if you tortured
me
would I reveal
the way he kept going
back to her for more,
like a moth to a flame...
an incredibly stupid moth.
Oh, it's just like
Liz and Dick...
on again, off again,
on again, off again.
Dead.
Mm.
Niles, are you
going to get that?
Maybe if we're very
still,
she'll go away.
Oh, Niles,
this overprotective thing
is adorable,
if not a little sick,
but meanwhile,
I'm dying to meet her.
Oh, Chloe Simpson,
are you gorgeous!
Can I take a picture of you?
Aah!
Honey, come on in.
Don't just stand there.
Step, step.
Chloe.
Oh, you feel familiar.
Oh, Maxwell,
don't you look smashing.
You're still not
a bad-looking bird yourself.
How long has it been?
20 years?
Well, moving on...
I'll never forget
those three glorious weeks
we spent in Cornwall.
We were never in Cornwall.
Devon?
No.
A cozy little room
with a fireplace
and a four-poster
bed?
Nope. Not me.
Well, I had a good time.
We were in Luxembourg.
I remember it well.
Oh, who's this?
Mm? Oh! Oh, yes.
These are my children.
Um... uh... oh.
She's ba-a-ack.
Brighton, Grace, and Maggie.
Hi.
You are beautiful.
Oh, stop.
Have you ever considered
modeling?
Well, actually,
I did complete two years
at the Barbizon School.
Ahem.
Uh, Miss Fine, I think
she's talking to Margaret.
Oh, well, that's a natural...
Chloe Simpson.
How do you do, darling?
Chloe Simpson,
like the modeling agency?
That's right.
And I'm always looking
for new faces.
Well, if she finds one,
she'll give you a call.
Darling, be nice
to your sister.
Hmm?
Okay.
Now, not to gush,
but you were my idol.
This woman dated the Beatles.
All of them.
Not Ringo.
Well, honey,
who could blame you?
I mean, with all his money,
why he never
fixed that schnozz...
Streisand I understand.
She needs it to sing.
Maxwell, what a
loquacious
nanny you have.
Oh, thank you.
I try to get to the gym
at least once a week.
Niles, will supper be long?
Interminable, sir.
C.C., I've decided to hold
the backers' auditions
in Southampton this weekend.
Four hours
on the Long Island Expressway?
I would rather die.
Oh, not to worry.
I've asked Chloe
to come with me.
Oh! Oh, Southampton.
Oh, marvelous!
I'll drive.
No, I won't hear of it.
No, Chloe knows
lots of people there,
so I'm letting you off the hook.
I don't want
to be let off the hook.
She wants her hooks in.
It's just that if you're having
a business meeting,
you'd think you'd want
to take your business partner.
Yes, you'd think, wouldn't you?
Niles...
That'll be all.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, C.C., don't be jealous.
Chloe and I might want
to take a little walk
down memory lane,
but you and I will always
be business partners.
Groovy.
Can I come in?
Miss Fine, come on down!
Have you been to the Hamptons?
I hear everyone's going.
Excuse me.
Do you need a Pamprin?
No.
You're sure?
All right.
Must be a full moon.
Meanwhile,
the cookie jar's
empty,
and Gracie needs tights.
Really?
What color?
Oh, she needs forest green
and a navy...
What do you care?
I'm interested in anyone
who isn't Chloe Simpson.
Oh, doesn't she look fabulous?
Oh, why weren't you
there last night?
How come you didn't invite her?
Oh, I could've had a V-8.
Hello.
Oh, hello, Chloe.
"Hello, Chloe."
You know, your face
could freeze like that.
Oh, well,
this is all a bit sudden.
I... well, I... I really
don't know what to think.
Maybe she proposed.
Where would that leave you?
Same place, really.
Let me think about it.
I'll call you back.
Bye.
No... No, you hang up first.
No, you.
Well, I know
I'm
a little
nauseous.
Chloe, I'm not hanging up.
Oh, were you through?
Apparently.
Well, Chloe has
set up a test for Maggie
with a photographer.
She thinks Maggie
could be a top model.
Really?
Now she's pretending
to be interested
in the children.
That woman is so transparent.
Yeah, but what a piece of glass.
Oh, I can't wait to tell Maggie.
Miss Fine!
Miss Fine, I haven't
said yes yet.
Yeah, but you're going to.
Thank God my father
didn't stop me
when the Barbizon scout
picked me out of a
crowd
at Woolworth's.
And, you know, they don't
take just anybody's money.
Sorry. I tried to follow you.
Oh, Maggie.
Chloe Simpson just called.
She wants to set up
a modeling test for you.
Oh, I can't believe it!
♪♪ We're gonna be a model ♪♪
Oh, I'm gonna go
call
all my friends.
Oh... You made
the right
decision.
When exactly did I do that?
Oh, would you just trust me?
It'll be great for her,
and she's got nothing to lose.
Miss Fine, tell me,
why didn't you pursue
a career in modeling?
They all expect you
to sleep around.
Ooh!
Fran, I think
I sprained my
cheek.
Well, you should have
warmed up first.
Oh, Mags.
I'm so excited for you.
You know, I used to be a model.
Really?
What did you model?
Feet.
All the Fines
have fabulous feet.
There's not a corn, bunion,
or fungus among us.
Oh, Fran, I'm so nervous.
I mean, what if I'm no good
at this?
Then I win 20 bucks.
Gracie has
a lot of faith in
you.
Where did you get
20 bucks from, miss?
I won it when Maggie
didn't make cheerleader.
I don't know
what I was
thinking.
Oh, forget them.
Come on.
Here's the most important thing.
You have to look subtle,
natural, and understated.
Like this.
Well, that doesn't look
very natural.
Yeah, but look at my feet.
Oh, they still have
so much left to say.
Oh, Fran, you're so great
to do this for me.
Oh, sweetheart, we're
just
getting started.
I have so much wisdom to impart,
like how to purse your lips
to get that little pouty look.
How to smell cauliflower,
you know,
for that "who cares about you?"
look.
And then the best look of all...
What's that for?
That's for when
they give you the check
for the other two looks.
Ahh, just the woman
I've been looking for.
I didn't do it.
Niles left it on.
What?
Nothing.
No, I meant Maggie.
Hello, sweetheart.
Hello, Daddy.
Fern...
Fran.
Are you sure?
I'm almost positive.
How's my bright new star?
Oh, fabulous.
I've been giving her tips
all afternoon,
and later I'm gonna
take her upstairs,
show her how to
do her hair, makeup...
No!
No, no, no, no.
No?
My stylist is waiting for us
at Barney's designer floor
right now.
Come on, sweetheart.
I'll get your coat.
I can't believe it.
This is so exciting...
and I know just who
to thank for it.
Oh...
Chloe!
My pleasure, darling.
I'll take it from here.
Yeah. I could tell you
just where to put it too.
I mean, who does
that Chloe Simpson
think she is?
The nerve of that
woman,
trespassing on my field
of expertise.
And what exactly would that be?
Glamour.
Ah.
This reminds me of that movie
The Turning Point,
except they were dancers,
and one was a mother,
and they were old friends.
I should really rent that again.
I haven't seen Maxwell
in three days.
I don't know why I bother
coming over anymore.
Aren't you going to say
anything obnoxious?
I wouldn't kick a dog
when she's down.
I don't know
what you're talking about.
I am perfectly fine.
He's taking her to Southampton
instead of me.
Oh, honey...
It's just a business trip.
Now, how many times
have you gone away with him
and gotten nowhere?
Huh?
Here, sit down.
Just plain tomato juice?
Don't you have anything hard?
Not for you.
Look what the years
have done to that Chloe.
Absolutely nothing.
I hate her.
I hate her.
Do you think she's had...
Asians?
I don't know.
She's had everybody else.
No. Surgery.
Oh, honey, please.
They did less work
on Mount Rushmore.
Ahem.
Um, excuse me, nanny person.
Could you...
Please... stand over here.
I can't see over your hair.
Oh, thanks, Peppy.
No, no, no, it's Pepé, okay?
Uh, let me
guess.
Arnold, right?
No, it's Bernie.
Well, Bernie,
now that we understand
each other,
I think you
went
a little O.D.
with that blush there.
Oh, so now
the nanny's an expert.
I used to be a model.
And what happened,
you shrink in the dryer?
Putz.
Oh, my God.
You turned out just perfect.
I wish I could just sign you.
Maggie, you look gorgeous.
Doesn't she?
Oh, Chloe,
I just love my outfit.
I'm sure, darling.
It's a $2,500 Gaultier.
Well, I hope you got
the receipt...
$89.95 at Loehmann's.
Have fun.
Oh, knock 'em dead, Mags.
You look gorgeous.
Hello, Maggie.
This is Carlo.
You like?
Okay, darling...
Make love to the camera.
Et voilàà!
That's it!
That's beautiful!
Yes!
I am such a turn-on.
Now, dance for me!
Dance! Dance! Yes!
Quit it, Carlo.
She's only 15.
Who is giving me a wedgie?
I don't like so much.
I'm her nanny.
Plus I used to model.
What, feet?
Euro trash.
Maggie, you rest.
We reload the camera, okay?
Carlo, what do you think?
How do you say...
Qu'est-ce que c'est...
She stink!
Take a few more
rolls,
would you?
I mean, just make a
fuss.
You know what to do.
I'm anartiste!
You think I just
point the camera
and take a picture?
If you want to get paid.
Maggie, love to love you, baby.
Oh, yes.
I'll probably
have to go off to Milan
for the fall fashion shows.
School?
Chloe says
I might have to get a tutor.
Yeah, because, you know,
I'll probably have
a lot of location shoots.
Oh, Chloe is so cool.
No, she's not a phony at all.
Rotten one.
Okay,ciao,
Yeah, I'll talk to you later.
Fran, do you know yoga?
The bear? Oh, that's Yogi.
Because Chloe says
it's the best way
to keep your energy up.
Oh. Um, listen,
Mags,
aren't you getting
just, like, a
little
ahead of
yourself?
What do you mean?
I mean, shouldn't we just
wait and see
how the pictures come out first
before we start planning
big trips
to Milan and everything?
Chloe says that I'm...
Yeah, I know what Chloe says,
but can't we just
cross that bitch
when we get to it?
Excuse me?
It's an expression...
bridge, crossing it.
I'm only saying that
not every beautiful
girl
has to be a model.
I mean, you could be
a gorgeous
astronaut,
a leggy lawyer.
Grape?
You know what I think?
What?
I think you're jealous.
Wha...?
Because I'm living out my dreams
and you're not.
Oh, Maggie...
It's all
right,
Niles. I'll get it.
It's probably Chloe.
Don't trip over
your hormones, sir.
Oh, Niles, I'm perfectly
in control of my hormones.
Chloe, let me take your dress...
Ah! Coat.
Smooth operator, sir.
I'll be with you
in a minute, darling.
Me? Jealous of that fake,
that phony, that...
Oh, honey, hi.
Hello, Fern.
Darling, I've got
the photographs.
Let's sit down.
How'd they turn out?
Not good.
Well, see here.
You're just a little bit stiff,
and the eyes are
just a little bit dead.
So what are you saying?
Oh, what am I trying to say?
That you're... vacant...
lifeless...
I stink?
Bingo!
I can't believe this.
Oh, she's so sensitive.
I can't believe
I used to idolize you.
You are the most insensitive,
self-centered woman
I've ever met.
Oh, you've got great feet!
You think? I used to...
Whoa! What am I doing?
You're sucking me in again.
Get back! A woman
needs garlic around you.
Love to stay and chat,
but I've got a plane to catch.
A plane?
Where are you going?
Paris.
You're supposed to be
going to Southampton
with Mr. Sheffield.
Oh, dash it all.
I completely forgot.
I should have put that
in my book.
Yeah, well,
he's counting on
you.
Oh, nonsense.
He knows me better than that.
Twenty years ago,
I left him a total wreck.
I can't believe he forgave me.
I would never have forgiven me.
Perhaps I would. I am endearing.
Oh, if I didn't just
get my nails done...
You know, this time,
I should say goodbye.
I have grown.
Where is Maxwell?
No, no, no, no, no.
No?
With your light
touch,
I'll tell him.
Oh, what a dear.
Well, have a nice trip.
Oh!
Well, you've still got it.
You knew all along, didn't you?
Oh, honey,
don't listen to that witch.
You have so much more
going for you.
Her whole life
is about her beauty.
Is that what you want
at her age?
Jet-setting around the world,
going from party to party,
one gorgeous man
after the other?
I mean, for me,
it's not a bad life.
Wait. I'm losing
my whole point here.
Fran, I'm so sorry
for what I said to you.
Sweetie, you weren't so far off.
I was jealous,
but not of you. Never.
I just thought
that you liked Chloe
better than me.
Fran, no way.
You're my best friend.
Oh, really?
Maybe I overreacted.
I'm just not used to rejection.
It's hard.
Yes, I know, angel,
and I'm sorry.
Well, I hope I've packed enough.
I wonder what the weather's like
in the Hamptons.
Very cold.
Hmm? Margaret, sweetheart,
what's the matter?
Oh, the pictures
stink.
I stink.
Oh, I'm sure they don't stink.
Well, pictures don't
matter, sweetheart.
If you want the world
to see how beautiful you are,
you only have to step out
into it,
and they'll see.
If they're really lucky,
like me,
they'll get to see
how lovely you are
on the inside too.
Oh, Daddy.
Oh, Mr. Sheffield.
Oh, I've had a lot
of disappointments
in my life,
but I haven't let them stop me.
It's made me stronger.
I'll be all right.
I can't stand
to see her heartbroken.
Maybe I'll have a word
with Chloe
when we get to Southampton.
Uh, Mr. Sheffield,
maybe you ought to have a seat,
because in a couple of minutes,
oy, are you gonna be strong.
Makeup!
Not too much, Pepé.
They'll look cheap.
Now, happy feet!
Yes. Now sad feet.
Oh, your feet,
they have such soul.
Now sexy feet.
Oh, yes, I like.
Not that angle.
They don't want to look fat.
I'm not touching you.
Fran!
I'm not touching her.
Oh, maybe I should
play the game too.
I'm not touching you.
Whoops!
Ow!
I guess I'm not as good
at this game as you are.
Hello, everyone.
- Hello.
- Hello.
Brighton, that's amazing.
Can you imitate Niles too?
Daddy, Brighton's
not touching me again.
Brighton, I've told you before
not to not touch your sister.
Now, go on
upstairs,
both of you.
Get ready for dinner.
Put on something nice.
Oh, you're taking the kids
out to dinner?
Where're we going?
I'm gonna need at least an hour.
Actually, we're eating in.
Oh, well, then I'm gorgeous.
Good, because Chloe Simpson's
coming to supper.
Chloe Simpson the model?
Seventeen magazine, Dippity-Doo?
Oh, my God.
Look at me.
I'm a
schlub.
Miss Fine, she's just a person.
No, you're just a
person.
I'm just a person.
She's the "Pssst" girl.
I beg your pardon?
Don't you remember
Pssst Dry Shampoo?
When your hair was too greasy,
but you didn't want to wash it,
so you'd spray in some Pssst,
and it'd be great for weeks.
What, did you sleep
through the '60s?
No, actually, I bathed.
Oh, Niles,
there you are. Good.
We have a dinner guest
arriving in half an hour.
Half an hour?
Did your finger break?
You couldn't have called?
I'm sorry, sweetheart.
I got held up
in a meeting.
I...
What am I saying?
Niles, we'll have
the Chateaubriand,
the asparagus hollandaise.
Get a couple of bottles
of the Rothschild
out of the cellar, and...
oh, yes, your hazelnut soufflés.
Straight away, sir.
Wow, you're taking this
a lot better than I am.
How do you do it?
Oh, please, Miss Fine.
I'm a trained professional.
I have 30 years' experience.
♪♪ She was working
In a bridal shop ♪♪
♪♪ In Flushing, Queens ♪♪
♪♪ Till her boyfriend
Kicked her out ♪♪
♪♪ In one
Of those crushing scenes ♪♪
♪♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪♪
♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪
♪♪ So over the bridge
From Flushing ♪♪
♪♪ To the Sheffields' door ♪♪
♪♪ She was there to sell makeup
But the father saw more ♪♪
♪♪ She had style, she had flair
She was there ♪♪
♪♪ That's how she became
The Nanny ♪♪
♪♪ Who would have guessed
That the girl we described ♪♪
♪♪ Was just exactly
What the doctor prescribed? ♪♪
♪♪ Now the father
Finds her beguiling ♪♪
♪♪ Watch out, C.C. ♪♪
♪♪ And the kids
Are actually smiling ♪♪
♪♪ Such joie de vivre ♪♪
♪♪ She's the lady in red ♪♪
♪♪ When everybody else
Is wearing tan ♪♪
♪♪ The flashy girl
From Flushing ♪♪
♪♪ The nanny named Fran ♪♪
Why is it whenever
someone important
is coming over,
your hair never comes out
big enough?
Oh, yes, I've been there.
Can you believe Chloe Simpson
is coming to my mansion?
That's who
I'm making dinner for?
Uh-huh.
Madam Pssst?
Why did I cook the meat?
Why not throw it to her raw?
Niles, I'm sensing
some hostility here.
Now, dish.
Divulge the details of
their torrid love affair,
which ended
with Mr. Sheffield's heart,
still beating,
being torn from his chest?
I couldn't.
Oh, yeah, you know,
it's best left unsaid.
Now, don't tell me more.
Mm.
Not if you tortured
me
would I reveal
the way he kept going
back to her for more,
like a moth to a flame...
an incredibly stupid moth.
Oh, it's just like
Liz and Dick...
on again, off again,
on again, off again.
Dead.
Mm.
Niles, are you
going to get that?
Maybe if we're very
still,
she'll go away.
Oh, Niles,
this overprotective thing
is adorable,
if not a little sick,
but meanwhile,
I'm dying to meet her.
Oh, Chloe Simpson,
are you gorgeous!
Can I take a picture of you?
Aah!
Honey, come on in.
Don't just stand there.
Step, step.
Chloe.
Oh, you feel familiar.
Oh, Maxwell,
don't you look smashing.
You're still not
a bad-looking bird yourself.
How long has it been?
20 years?
Well, moving on...
I'll never forget
those three glorious weeks
we spent in Cornwall.
We were never in Cornwall.
Devon?
No.
A cozy little room
with a fireplace
and a four-poster
bed?
Nope. Not me.
Well, I had a good time.
We were in Luxembourg.
I remember it well.
Oh, who's this?
Mm? Oh! Oh, yes.
These are my children.
Um... uh... oh.
She's ba-a-ack.
Brighton, Grace, and Maggie.
Hi.
You are beautiful.
Oh, stop.
Have you ever considered
modeling?
Well, actually,
I did complete two years
at the Barbizon School.
Ahem.
Uh, Miss Fine, I think
she's talking to Margaret.
Oh, well, that's a natural...
Chloe Simpson.
How do you do, darling?
Chloe Simpson,
like the modeling agency?
That's right.
And I'm always looking
for new faces.
Well, if she finds one,
she'll give you a call.
Darling, be nice
to your sister.
Hmm?
Okay.
Now, not to gush,
but you were my idol.
This woman dated the Beatles.
All of them.
Not Ringo.
Well, honey,
who could blame you?
I mean, with all his money,
why he never
fixed that schnozz...
Streisand I understand.
She needs it to sing.
Maxwell, what a
loquacious
nanny you have.
Oh, thank you.
I try to get to the gym
at least once a week.
Niles, will supper be long?
Interminable, sir.
C.C., I've decided to hold
the backers' auditions
in Southampton this weekend.
Four hours
on the Long Island Expressway?
I would rather die.
Oh, not to worry.
I've asked Chloe
to come with me.
Oh! Oh, Southampton.
Oh, marvelous!
I'll drive.
No, I won't hear of it.
No, Chloe knows
lots of people there,
so I'm letting you off the hook.
I don't want
to be let off the hook.
She wants her hooks in.
It's just that if you're having
a business meeting,
you'd think you'd want
to take your business partner.
Yes, you'd think, wouldn't you?
Niles...
That'll be all.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, C.C., don't be jealous.
Chloe and I might want
to take a little walk
down memory lane,
but you and I will always
be business partners.
Groovy.
Can I come in?
Miss Fine, come on down!
Have you been to the Hamptons?
I hear everyone's going.
Excuse me.
Do you need a Pamprin?
No.
You're sure?
All right.
Must be a full moon.
Meanwhile,
the cookie jar's
empty,
and Gracie needs tights.
Really?
What color?
Oh, she needs forest green
and a navy...
What do you care?
I'm interested in anyone
who isn't Chloe Simpson.
Oh, doesn't she look fabulous?
Oh, why weren't you
there last night?
How come you didn't invite her?
Oh, I could've had a V-8.
Hello.
Oh, hello, Chloe.
"Hello, Chloe."
You know, your face
could freeze like that.
Oh, well,
this is all a bit sudden.
I... well, I... I really
don't know what to think.
Maybe she proposed.
Where would that leave you?
Same place, really.
Let me think about it.
I'll call you back.
Bye.
No... No, you hang up first.
No, you.
Well, I know
I'm
a little
nauseous.
Chloe, I'm not hanging up.
Oh, were you through?
Apparently.
Well, Chloe has
set up a test for Maggie
with a photographer.
She thinks Maggie
could be a top model.
Really?
Now she's pretending
to be interested
in the children.
That woman is so transparent.
Yeah, but what a piece of glass.
Oh, I can't wait to tell Maggie.
Miss Fine!
Miss Fine, I haven't
said yes yet.
Yeah, but you're going to.
Thank God my father
didn't stop me
when the Barbizon scout
picked me out of a
crowd
at Woolworth's.
And, you know, they don't
take just anybody's money.
Sorry. I tried to follow you.
Oh, Maggie.
Chloe Simpson just called.
She wants to set up
a modeling test for you.
Oh, I can't believe it!
♪♪ We're gonna be a model ♪♪
Oh, I'm gonna go
call
all my friends.
Oh... You made
the right
decision.
When exactly did I do that?
Oh, would you just trust me?
It'll be great for her,
and she's got nothing to lose.
Miss Fine, tell me,
why didn't you pursue
a career in modeling?
They all expect you
to sleep around.
Ooh!
Fran, I think
I sprained my
cheek.
Well, you should have
warmed up first.
Oh, Mags.
I'm so excited for you.
You know, I used to be a model.
Really?
What did you model?
Feet.
All the Fines
have fabulous feet.
There's not a corn, bunion,
or fungus among us.
Oh, Fran, I'm so nervous.
I mean, what if I'm no good
at this?
Then I win 20 bucks.
Gracie has
a lot of faith in
you.
Where did you get
20 bucks from, miss?
I won it when Maggie
didn't make cheerleader.
I don't know
what I was
thinking.
Oh, forget them.
Come on.
Here's the most important thing.
You have to look subtle,
natural, and understated.
Like this.
Well, that doesn't look
very natural.
Yeah, but look at my feet.
Oh, they still have
so much left to say.
Oh, Fran, you're so great
to do this for me.
Oh, sweetheart, we're
just
getting started.
I have so much wisdom to impart,
like how to purse your lips
to get that little pouty look.
How to smell cauliflower,
you know,
for that "who cares about you?"
look.
And then the best look of all...
What's that for?
That's for when
they give you the check
for the other two looks.
Ahh, just the woman
I've been looking for.
I didn't do it.
Niles left it on.
What?
Nothing.
No, I meant Maggie.
Hello, sweetheart.
Hello, Daddy.
Fern...
Fran.
Are you sure?
I'm almost positive.
How's my bright new star?
Oh, fabulous.
I've been giving her tips
all afternoon,
and later I'm gonna
take her upstairs,
show her how to
do her hair, makeup...
No!
No, no, no, no.
No?
My stylist is waiting for us
at Barney's designer floor
right now.
Come on, sweetheart.
I'll get your coat.
I can't believe it.
This is so exciting...
and I know just who
to thank for it.
Oh...
Chloe!
My pleasure, darling.
I'll take it from here.
Yeah. I could tell you
just where to put it too.
I mean, who does
that Chloe Simpson
think she is?
The nerve of that
woman,
trespassing on my field
of expertise.
And what exactly would that be?
Glamour.
Ah.
This reminds me of that movie
The Turning Point,
except they were dancers,
and one was a mother,
and they were old friends.
I should really rent that again.
I haven't seen Maxwell
in three days.
I don't know why I bother
coming over anymore.
Aren't you going to say
anything obnoxious?
I wouldn't kick a dog
when she's down.
I don't know
what you're talking about.
I am perfectly fine.
He's taking her to Southampton
instead of me.
Oh, honey...
It's just a business trip.
Now, how many times
have you gone away with him
and gotten nowhere?
Huh?
Here, sit down.
Just plain tomato juice?
Don't you have anything hard?
Not for you.
Look what the years
have done to that Chloe.
Absolutely nothing.
I hate her.
I hate her.
Do you think she's had...
Asians?
I don't know.
She's had everybody else.
No. Surgery.
Oh, honey, please.
They did less work
on Mount Rushmore.
Ahem.
Um, excuse me, nanny person.
Could you...
Please... stand over here.
I can't see over your hair.
Oh, thanks, Peppy.
No, no, no, it's Pepé, okay?
Uh, let me
guess.
Arnold, right?
No, it's Bernie.
Well, Bernie,
now that we understand
each other,
I think you
went
a little O.D.
with that blush there.
Oh, so now
the nanny's an expert.
I used to be a model.
And what happened,
you shrink in the dryer?
Putz.
Oh, my God.
You turned out just perfect.
I wish I could just sign you.
Maggie, you look gorgeous.
Doesn't she?
Oh, Chloe,
I just love my outfit.
I'm sure, darling.
It's a $2,500 Gaultier.
Well, I hope you got
the receipt...
$89.95 at Loehmann's.
Have fun.
Oh, knock 'em dead, Mags.
You look gorgeous.
Hello, Maggie.
This is Carlo.
You like?
Okay, darling...
Make love to the camera.
Et voilàà!
That's it!
That's beautiful!
Yes!
I am such a turn-on.
Now, dance for me!
Dance! Dance! Yes!
Quit it, Carlo.
She's only 15.
Who is giving me a wedgie?
I don't like so much.
I'm her nanny.
Plus I used to model.
What, feet?
Euro trash.
Maggie, you rest.
We reload the camera, okay?
Carlo, what do you think?
How do you say...
Qu'est-ce que c'est...
She stink!
Take a few more
rolls,
would you?
I mean, just make a
fuss.
You know what to do.
I'm anartiste!
You think I just
point the camera
and take a picture?
If you want to get paid.
Maggie, love to love you, baby.
Oh, yes.
I'll probably
have to go off to Milan
for the fall fashion shows.
School?
Chloe says
I might have to get a tutor.
Yeah, because, you know,
I'll probably have
a lot of location shoots.
Oh, Chloe is so cool.
No, she's not a phony at all.
Rotten one.
Okay,ciao,
Yeah, I'll talk to you later.
Fran, do you know yoga?
The bear? Oh, that's Yogi.
Because Chloe says
it's the best way
to keep your energy up.
Oh. Um, listen,
Mags,
aren't you getting
just, like, a
little
ahead of
yourself?
What do you mean?
I mean, shouldn't we just
wait and see
how the pictures come out first
before we start planning
big trips
to Milan and everything?
Chloe says that I'm...
Yeah, I know what Chloe says,
but can't we just
cross that bitch
when we get to it?
Excuse me?
It's an expression...
bridge, crossing it.
I'm only saying that
not every beautiful
girl
has to be a model.
I mean, you could be
a gorgeous
astronaut,
a leggy lawyer.
Grape?
You know what I think?
What?
I think you're jealous.
Wha...?
Because I'm living out my dreams
and you're not.
Oh, Maggie...
It's all
right,
Niles. I'll get it.
It's probably Chloe.
Don't trip over
your hormones, sir.
Oh, Niles, I'm perfectly
in control of my hormones.
Chloe, let me take your dress...
Ah! Coat.
Smooth operator, sir.
I'll be with you
in a minute, darling.
Me? Jealous of that fake,
that phony, that...
Oh, honey, hi.
Hello, Fern.
Darling, I've got
the photographs.
Let's sit down.
How'd they turn out?
Not good.
Well, see here.
You're just a little bit stiff,
and the eyes are
just a little bit dead.
So what are you saying?
Oh, what am I trying to say?
That you're... vacant...
lifeless...
I stink?
Bingo!
I can't believe this.
Oh, she's so sensitive.
I can't believe
I used to idolize you.
You are the most insensitive,
self-centered woman
I've ever met.
Oh, you've got great feet!
You think? I used to...
Whoa! What am I doing?
You're sucking me in again.
Get back! A woman
needs garlic around you.
Love to stay and chat,
but I've got a plane to catch.
A plane?
Where are you going?
Paris.
You're supposed to be
going to Southampton
with Mr. Sheffield.
Oh, dash it all.
I completely forgot.
I should have put that
in my book.
Yeah, well,
he's counting on
you.
Oh, nonsense.
He knows me better than that.
Twenty years ago,
I left him a total wreck.
I can't believe he forgave me.
I would never have forgiven me.
Perhaps I would. I am endearing.
Oh, if I didn't just
get my nails done...
You know, this time,
I should say goodbye.
I have grown.
Where is Maxwell?
No, no, no, no, no.
No?
With your light
touch,
I'll tell him.
Oh, what a dear.
Well, have a nice trip.
Oh!
Well, you've still got it.
You knew all along, didn't you?
Oh, honey,
don't listen to that witch.
You have so much more
going for you.
Her whole life
is about her beauty.
Is that what you want
at her age?
Jet-setting around the world,
going from party to party,
one gorgeous man
after the other?
I mean, for me,
it's not a bad life.
Wait. I'm losing
my whole point here.
Fran, I'm so sorry
for what I said to you.
Sweetie, you weren't so far off.
I was jealous,
but not of you. Never.
I just thought
that you liked Chloe
better than me.
Fran, no way.
You're my best friend.
Oh, really?
Maybe I overreacted.
I'm just not used to rejection.
It's hard.
Yes, I know, angel,
and I'm sorry.
Well, I hope I've packed enough.
I wonder what the weather's like
in the Hamptons.
Very cold.
Hmm? Margaret, sweetheart,
what's the matter?
Oh, the pictures
stink.
I stink.
Oh, I'm sure they don't stink.
Well, pictures don't
matter, sweetheart.
If you want the world
to see how beautiful you are,
you only have to step out
into it,
and they'll see.
If they're really lucky,
like me,
they'll get to see
how lovely you are
on the inside too.
Oh, Daddy.
Oh, Mr. Sheffield.
Oh, I've had a lot
of disappointments
in my life,
but I haven't let them stop me.
It's made me stronger.
I'll be all right.
I can't stand
to see her heartbroken.
Maybe I'll have a word
with Chloe
when we get to Southampton.
Uh, Mr. Sheffield,
maybe you ought to have a seat,
because in a couple of minutes,
oy, are you gonna be strong.
Makeup!
Not too much, Pepé.
They'll look cheap.
Now, happy feet!
Yes. Now sad feet.
Oh, your feet,
they have such soul.
Now sexy feet.
Oh, yes, I like.
Not that angle.
They don't want to look fat.