The Mysteries of Laura (2014–2016): Season 1, Episode 17 - The Mystery of the Intoxicated Intern - full transcript

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Okay, be good for Alicia.

And, oh, and remember, farting
does not qualify as show and tell.

Got it covered.

Come in.

Sorry about the 8:00 A.M. date.

Are you kidding me?

I'll take any Laura fix I can get.

I can't believe our schedules
haven't lined up for two weeks.

- I know. Just keep talking.
- Yeah?



I am desperate for any conversation
that doesn't include the words,

"homicide" or "pokemon".

You wanna go upstairs?

Oh, hell yes. I...

I mean, are you... are you sure?

- If you're not ready yet...
- Oh, I'm... no, no. I'm ready. I'm ready.

Mmm. Good.

I forgot the boys' diorama.

- Oh!
- Oh!

Oh, God. Alicia, Tony.

Uh, charmed.

You know, when you asked
me to drive the car pool

'cause you had early-morning business,

I didn't realize you meant business.



- Goodbye.
- Oh, first time back in the saddle, huh?

What? No, what? Why would you say that?

Well, do the words "tightly" and
"wound" mean anything to you?

Ain't nothin' wrong with a cute white boy.

I had a thing for Kevin Costner myself.

- Thanks, I think.
- I got something for you. Hold on.

Yeah.

Safety first.

- Of course.
- Uh-huh. Yeah.

Yeah, he could fill my
dreams. Yes he can. Mmm-hmm.

Where were we?

- Oh, no, no, no.
- I'm sure it's nothing.

- Excuse me.
- What now? What?

It's your partner. Says you
weren't answering your phone.

If this doesn't involve a
dead body, I have to call you back.

I'm thinking dead body.

Mmm-hmm.

Whoa. Look at you.

Last time you had your hair all blown
out like that you were getting some.

Were you getting some?

- Trying to.
- Mmm.

Welcome to my world.

When have you
tried and not succeeded?

Fair point.

Diamond, did you go and get one of
those ambush makeovers or something?

Or something. Who's this?

Jane Doe. Eighteen, 19.

Looks like some sort of satanic ritual.

The vibe is pretty culty in here.

- Cause of death?
- Right now all I can tell you

is what didn't kill her. Knife, gun, rope.

Unis found three sets of footprints,
all from the same shoe style.

Well, the perps left more than footprints.

"Cellulite," "hairy legs".

And circled her birthmark.

Pretty rude cult.

Body-shaming? Even satanic
cults don't go that far.

Oh, candles from Pottery Barn.

Those footprints were made by UGGs.

- So, no cult?
- Sorority.

- Tomato, tomahto.
- Mmm.

So, we got a case of hazing gone bad?

Well, the chalk line, it's an Omega,

so we know the house.
We just need the school.

Oh, wait a minute.

Train ticket. One way to Brookville.

That would be Siosa U, probably?

- Quick trip to campus?
- Better idea.

- Wasn't Frankie in a sorority?
- Oh, yeah.

She's got it on her socks,
her key chain, screen saver...

Okay, you had me at socks. Send her.

She speaks Greek.

Hi, sweetie.

I'm Detective Pulaski.
This is Detective Bose.

What's your name?

Good talk. We're coming in.

- Listen up, scrubs...
- Check out the matching footwear.

This house sparkles by
initiation, or God help you.

Excuse me. We need to speak to you
and your fellow UGG enthusiasts.

- Are you in charge?
- I'm Sloane, the pledge master.

Are you missing a pledge, Sloane?

Caroline Adams hasn't shown up yet.

- This Caroline?
- Oh, my God!

When was the last time you saw her?

Last night, but I swear, she was
perfectly fine when we left her.

Left her tied up in a
soho warehouse, you mean?

- We're gonna need a complete rundown...
- Excuse me.

Only Omega sisters and pledges
are allowed in this house.

- And you are?
- Michelle Kelly.

Alumni advisor for this
chapter. What's this about?

Caroline Adams is dead. We think
it might be hazing related.

This is tragic news,

but hazing is strictly
prohibited by the Omegas

and had nothing to do with Caroline's death.

We'll make that call, thank you.

- Now, if we can just...
- Not unless you have a warrant, detectives.

Are we gonna have a problem?

Just, I'd hate for whatever Caroline was
mixed up in to unfairly hurt the house.

You have a dead pledge, and you're
worried about bad publicity?

I'm worried about false allegations.

My girls aren't going to speak
to you without an attorney.

Look, lady, your pledge is dead.

- Do you think we're going to just...
- I was a Gamma Nu.

Wisconsin, Eau Claire chapter.

I can't imagine how painful it
must be to lose one of your own.

I'm very sorry for your loss.

Okay, come on. Let's go. Come on.

That was soft, letting her
shut us down like that.

Who knows what they're going
to do before we get a warrant.

Five, four, three, two...

I wanna help, but it's not safe here.

- Still think I'm soft?
- As a pillow.

Tell me about Caroline.

She was my Omega little sister.

Sweet, pretty, total go-getter.

She had an internship at an
Internet start-up as a freshman.

Smart kid.

What was she doing pledging the sorority?

It was a family tradition.

Her mom was an Omega.

Someone has to tell her.

We will.

What happened last night?

- I don't know.
- Maya.

They're not really your sisters.

- They don't deserve your protection.
- You don't understand.

I understand that a frightened
18-year-old was left to fend for herself

in an abandoned warehouse.

Who's going to stand up for her?

It was fright night mission.

The final step before initiation.

We get a pledge wasted and
then drop her someplace random.

She has to get back with no money or phone.

To Long Island from the city?

Usually they just take them
a few miles from campus.

Sloane decided to do
Caroline's in Manhattan.

I said it was too far.

So, you gave Caroline the train ticket?

Just in case.

I knew Sloane didn't want
Caroline as an Omega.

She'd do anything to get rid of her.

- Why's that?
- Sloane never said.

But she was harder on Caroline
than any other pledge.

Since Caroline was a legacy,
she couldn't kick her out.

So, she had to make her quit.

Or worse.

The Omegas are responsible
for Caroline's death.

I'm gonna find a way to
hold them accountable,

or at least wring their
pretty little lying necks.

Slow down, Serpico.

At most, we've got criminally
negligent homicide by hazing.

No, there's more than that.

Healthy 18-year-olds don't just drop dead.

The only thing in her medical
records is an allergy to oak trees.

Has Reynaldo found a cause of death?

"Catastrophic drop in blood pressure."

It's consistent with alcohol poisoning,
and we know that she was drinking.

Caroline's blood alcohol was 0.12.

That's enough for a nasty hangover,
but not enough to kill her.

Unless she was also on something stronger.

I've got Reynaldo running
a level two tox screen.

In the meantime, Maya gave us enough
to subpoena Sloane's phone records.

We're combing through her
texts for signs of a drug buy.

You think Sloane drugged Caroline?

I wouldn't put it past her.

And if she did, there's nothing
negligent about this homicide.

- Soon as you find something...
- I found something.

It seems one of the Omegas has
not been acting too sorority-ish.

This is as sorority-ish as it gets.

Get Frankie and Meredith
back to that campus.

You have completed all the required tasks.

Are you ready to become
members of Omega Delta Kappa?

You shall now recite the
oath of the sisterhood.

"I swear that bitch will never be an Omega."

Oh, I'm sorry. Is that not the oath?

- This is a private event.
- Easy, now.

We came with warrants out the yin-yang,
this time. Including one for an arrest.

We checked Sloane's texts.

Sunday, 8:00 P.M.,

"Caroline will quit if I have
to punt the cow myself."

Monday, 11:00 A.M.,

"Caroline is filth. Do I have
to handle this..." "B" word.

I didn't send those.

We know. You received them from
your alumni advisor, Michelle.

This is outrageous.

We're in the middle of initiation.

You know who else has a
cool initiation ceremony?

Rikers.

And they're gonna be all over you, sister.

A sorority advisor
terrorizing a pledge.

- Don't you people evolve?
- We aren't all the same.

The Gamma Nus stood for sisterhood,
service, and integrity.

Yeah, well, the sororities I knew stood
for diet pills, keg-stands and STDs.

Yeah, I didn't get into those.

I would have picked you for a Gamma Moo.

- Perky much?
- Wow, a grown-up mean girl.

Mommy issues?

- Exactly.
- What are you talking about?

Your dead pledge, Caroline, her mommy
was your pledge master back in the day.

- Treated you like crap, I'm guessing.
- I don't recall.

Oh, of course you do.

"Omega pledge runs naked mile backwards."

Ouch.

It came up third when we googled you.

You think I don't know about this?

I've had to live my life as the butt of
everyone's jokes because of this story.

One of the frats on
campus found it last year.

I became a freakin' meme.

So, you took revenge on Caroline.

- No.
- And when the hazing didn't work,

you drugged her. Hope she'd act
out, be humiliated like you were.

But the combination was fatal.

I did not drug Caroline.

Well, we'll see about that.

Coroner's tox report just came in.

When we confirm that your
vendetta led to Caroline's death,

I'm going to make sure that
the remainder of your life

is one continuous hell week.

Got it?

"B" word.

What she said.

Yeah?

Hello?

She is at work.

I'm actually here to see you.

Oh, no. No sloppy seconds for me, thank you.

That's not what I had in mind.

And for the record, there was no first.

You gotta learn how to close.

Chili and skillet cornbread?

I'm making dinner for the week.

That way at least Laura can, you
know, microwave home cooking.

Cumin, coriander, is that homemade stock?

I put little habaneros in there
when I make it for my boys,

but this family can't
stand that kind of heat.

May I, chef?

Oh, hmm. Mmm-hmm.

You know what you're doing.

Stop trying to butter me up, okay?

- What do you want?
- Okay.

- Laura's got the kids this weekend.
- Mmm-hmm.

I was hoping that you could spend the
night so I could take her to the Berkshires

for some alone time.

That's how you close. I'm in.

- You are a Saint.
- I know.

Now, I want it to be a surprise,
so don't say anything, all right?

Do I look like a gossip?

I let Matt Lauer deliver the news, honey.

The Berkshires? Wow.

- Why are you telling me this?
- Because, it's a surprise, dummy.

I thought you'd want a heads-up so you could

prepare to get your groove back.

Alicia, my groove has been ready
to come back for quite a while now.

Personally, I suggest you get a Sicilian.

Wax, that is. Not pizza.

What's a Sicilian? I've
heard of a Brazilian, but...

Anyway, I heard that all
natural's on a comeback.

Man-beard is back.

Lady-beard, not so much.

Okay. Text me the name of your person.

And don't forget to do your kegels.

Hanging up now.

Okay, what do we got?

Caroline didn't have
narcotics in her system,

but she did have high levels of nymexis.

The blood pressure medicine?
My dad was on that for a while.

Doubtful a college freshman
would be prescribed that.

It's deadly if it's mixed with alcohol,

which is why Leo "Happy hour"
Diamond stopped taking it.

Said it was cramping his style.

It wasn't cramping Caroline's style.

Her final tweet, "mission
tonight ♪sorryliver."

Anyone who saw that would know
she'd be drinking heavily.

Just slip Caroline nymexis and
let her do the rest. Time bomb.

The way the nymexis
metabolized in Caroline's system,

she would have taken in
between 10:00 A.M. and noon.

Michelle was at the sorority in
that window. Please let it be her.

Sorry, Caroline was downtown.

- Her internship at Palster.
- Whatster?

Palster.

Biggest tech startup in New York.

They're going to do to Facebook
what Facebook did to MySpace.

Maybe the sorority isn't the
only place Caroline had an enemy.

Great. You're coming with me.

I need you to translate nerd to English.

- I wanna go.
- No.

Shut up. This place is incredible.

Yup, chips and salsa as
far as the eye can see.

Huh?

Chips are computer
hardware. Salsa, software.

I looked it up. It's tech talk.

No, it's not. Oh, I feel so at home.

Oh, my bad. Sorry!

So do I.

Don't these people work?

This is them working.

Millennials are not constrained

by traditional assumptions
about office culture.

That, or they're jerk-offs.

A clean desk. It can be done.

Oh, see, that's more my style.

How are you, ladies? You're the detectives?

We are. Is there a
grown-up we can speak with?

Harry Rice, Clay Bergman,
co-founders of Palster.

- I knew that.
- Congratulations on the impending IPO,

- by the way.
- Thanks.

We're all devastated about
what happened to Caroline.

- She was amazing.
- One of our most talented interns.

I'm sorry, is that a Rolex Submariner?

Waterproof up to 100 meters.

Our buddies at Google sent them
when Palster was launched.

- Why do I not work here?
- Enough, fangirl.

Let's talk about yesterday.

I wish we could help, but
Harry and I were up in Boston.

Road show for the IPO.

We're going to need a list of everyone
who came in and out of the office.

And can you point us toward
Caroline's coworkers?

- Of course. Linda?
- Yes, Clay?

- She's gonna hook you up.
- Linda runs our intern program.

Uh-huh. As an old fogey, I'm sort
of the den mother around here.

She's being modest. She
also has a PhD from Yale.

Anything they need.

Palster uses a bipartite
graph-matching algorithm

to pair users with platonic acquaintances.

You hook up friends.

People today are obsessed
with finding soul mates,

but soul friendships, just as vital.

I read that Harry and Clay are
a 96% match, the highest ever.

And they're so different on the surface,

but their synergy's the key to our success.

Any one of these little
geniuses could be our perp.

Uh-huh.

You have a Subway?

- More tech talk?
- No.

Open 24/7, paid for by Palster.

- Shut up.
- You first.

We also provide laundry
service, car service,

on-site yoga, daily gourmet coffee delivery.

No wonder no one wants to grow up.

Here's my desk. That's where Caroline sat.

Dirty chai latte, extra foam. Good order.

Traffic area. Anyone could have
snuck something into her drink.

I know you're all about making friends here,
but did Caroline have any enemies?

Oh, I wish I had been as cute,
smart and popular at her age.

Pretty much everyone loved her.

- Pretty much everyone?
- You have to understand,

these kids are highly competitive,
and under tremendous pressure

to find the next big idea. It takes a toll.

On who exactly?

Caroline would argue with
Ben Lee, another intern.

What about?

A side project they were
developing together.

Sort of an Uber for pets.
They called it Doggone Ride.

That's a million dollar idea?

Possibly billions. Uber has a higher
market cap today than Mercedes.

It's official, the nerds have won.

- Where's Ben?
- Tech fest.

A sort of speed-dating event where
developers pitch ideas to investors.

Thank you.

If Ben sells his app now, he won't have
to share that first billion with anyone.

Looks like we have a suspect.

- I'm gonna take this to the lab.
- Okay.

And I'm gonna go see if I can catch Ben
in the act of selling out his partner.

Tell Billy to meet me at Dork fest.

- Tech fest.
- Tomato, tomahto.

Using highly integrated data
compiled from search history,

we employ a predictive solution to
stream content directly to users.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

It's Netflix, but for porn.

Pass.

It's Wikipedia, but for porn.

I'm sensing a trend here.

It's candy crush, but for...

Porn? How is that even possible?

Excellent question...

Please tell me your idea
has nothing to do with porn.

- Not at all, Miss Sagerwall.
- Who?

Oh. Oh, yeah.

It's a transportation app.
Think of it as Uber for pets.

I call it Doggone Ride.

- I'm intrigued.
- Yeah.

Assuming all your chips
and salsas are in order.

You are the sole owner of this idea?

Yup. Cofounders get in the way.

So do cops.

Hey! Police! Don't move.

Hey! Get back here, kid!
Excuse me, excuse me.

Come back here! I said, get back here.

Get out of the way!

Easy!

Hey!

Gotcha, Suckerberg.

You enjoy your night in lock-up, Ben?

That's how it's gonna be?
'Cause you can talk to us,

or you can take your chances with the DA.

And in cases like this he
will ask for life in prison.

For a basketball game?

That sounds a bit dramatic.

We just want to know what happened.

Sunday night, I'm home watching
the Knicks lose, again.

I figured if Melo had 10 more seconds.

So, I got into the Garden's computer
system and I slowed the game clock.

- Well, the Knicks still lost.
- I'm a hacker, not God.

That's a noble confession, Ben.

But we didn't pick you up for hacking.

You didn't? Then what am I here for?

- Because you killed Caroline Adams.
- What?

The lab found nymexis in
her coffee cup. Murder one.

You're way off base. Caroline was my friend.

Who you neglected to mention
was part owner of your idea.

Doggone Ride is all mine.

I told Caroline about my idea. She
offered to help me with my pitch.

Angels won't invest if
they don't like your story.

We heard you two were constantly fighting.

That's the creative process.

Besides, Caroline didn't need my money.
She had a sick offer at Google.

Mid six figures.

Why does an intern make more
figures than an NYPD detective?

Or a captain?

That's tech.
Today's intern is tomorrow's CEO.

That's what Caroline
wrote to Silicon Hallie.

Silicon who?

She's an anonymous blogger.

The most important tech
voice on the east coast.

Getting on Hallie's radar was huge.

I have Caroline to thank for that.

Caroline wrote to Silicon
Hallie three weeks ago.

"Watch out for Ben Lee and Doggone Ride.

"Today's intern, tomorrow's CEO."

What the hell?

I picked up some tips on workspace
productivity from Palster.

Do we love it? It's an idea pit.

It's a pit, all right.

Have a sub.

Another thing I picked up from Palster.

Eat fresh.

Oh, don't mind if I do.

Maybe I'll pull a Jared.

This is a disaster.

Did the boys put fire ants
in your skivvies again?

No. This morning, before
work, I went to Sicily.

Never to return.

Must be a bad reaction to
the wax. Give it a day.

If it still hurts,

I like to apply a combination of
corn starch and shea butter...

I've said too much.

Wait a minute. Silicon
Hallie's a tech blogger,

so why are people posting things like,

"you really turn on my hard drive"?

Hallie is not just about tech.
She's also an erotic provocateur.

Keeps an online diary of her
steamy affair with a married CEO

Oh, here we go.

"Our first time, I was so nervous.

"Didn't have time to shave
my legs, but he didn't care.

"He just wanted to be with me."

- That's steamy?
- Do not interrupt.

"Lingering at my thighs, he
told me he loved my birthmark.

"I always hated that little boot till now."

- Wait a minute.
- More reading.

It's Caroline.

Unshaved legs, and a boot-shaped birthmark.

- Are you sure?
- Let's see here.

"Mr. CEO wanted to douse
me in wine and drink me up.

"I told him to choose a bottle
that wasn't aged in oak.

"Hives are so not sexy."

Caroline was allergic to oak trees.

She didn't tweet at Silicon
Hallie, she was Silicon Hallie.

So, our sweet little college intern
was actually a soft core blogger

who was sleeping with a married CEO?

Harry Rice is single, but his partner,
Clay Bergman, he's married.

Sounds like we've got a new suspect.

Clay couldn't have killed Caroline.
He and Harry were in Boston all day.

Listen to her final entry,
posted hours before she died.

"I think his wife is getting suspicious."

Hold on.

Yup, according to Palster's entrance log,

Jessica Bergman visited the office
the morning Caroline was poisoned.

A day her husband wasn't even at the office.

Sounds like we got a new new suspect.

I hate it when it's the wife.

Hey, how are you? Hey, girl.

- Hi.
- Hi.

I'm looking for my friend Jessica Bergman.

Her office said that I could find her here.

Yes. I love Jessica. Such spirit. Um...

She's actually right there.

Oh, duh. Right in front of me.

Thanks.

You all right?

Chose the wrong day to wax.

And the wrong part of Italy.

Been there. You'll get used to it.

Like riding a bike, huh?

- I'm Laura.
- Jessica.

All right, heroes. Let's do this.

Move to the rhythm. Ready?

- Open up your hands.
- Wait, um...

- What... what about a warm-up?
- Here we go.

Up!

And down. That's it.

Up! Yup. Down.

Awesome.

The things we do for our men, huh?

Now, right here in the middle,
pick up your pace. Here we go!

Oh, yeah! That's it.

Oh! Brother.

Good! Now slow.

Good job.

- So, what do you do, Jessica?
- Doctor.

Oh, good. 'Cause I might
need one after this.

Is it true that blood pressure
medicine and alcohol don't mix?

Because I am a woman who
seriously needs her cabernet.

- Yeah, you don't want to do that.
- No?

It's a sure way to kill yourself.

Or someone else.

I just found out my
husband's cheating on me.

Hurts more than even my ass does right now.

I just went through the same thing.

- Really?
- But I did something about it.

What?

Let's just say I took care of it. For good.

Pull over. Class is dismissed.

Wow. Caroline's just a
younger version of you.

You see it, right?

Must have been tough
being replaced by version 2.0.

- That's not what happened.
- Oh, yes, it is.

And thanks to your pre-nup,
you get nothing if Clay leaves you.

With Palster's upcoming IPO,
that's a billion reasons for you to kill.

I did not kill that woman.

Besides, Clay ended it with her.

Well, not according to Silicon Hallie,

the tech world's must-read blog.

It's actually Caroline writing
about her affair with Clay.

This is complete fiction.

Here, Clay was with me on
new year's Eve, not her.

And here, he hates BlackBerry jam.
He would never eat it off of anything.

Or anyone.

Yeah, well, we can confirm those details.

But in the meantime why don't you explain
to me what you were doing at Palster

the day Caroline was killed.

I was meeting with Clay's lawyer.

Signing the form terminating our pre-nup.

Wait, terminating?

Clay admitted the affair to me,
swore it would never happen again.

And to prove his commitment
to saving our marriage,

he put his money where his mouth is.

That may be true, but it
doesn't prove you're innocent.

Look, I'm not some cold-blooded sociopath.

If I killed Caroline, Clay
would see right through me.

I'm trying to save my marriage.

So, the affair was real,
but the blog was fake?

Why would Caroline make that stuff up?

You don't need to lie when
you're already anonymous.

Unless she didn't write the blog.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait.

I have weekend detail? No,
you've got to switch with me.

- I would love to, but...
- But... no, no!

No, no, no, no. No but. No but. No.

This weekend is happening.
I am waxed and worked out,

and I am ready to go.

Enrique Iglesias is performing at Barclays.

I promised my mom I would take her.

You keep mama Sylvia from her
favorite balladeer, she will cut you.

All right.

Meredith, um, how'd you like
to take my Saturday shift...

You're cold.

First the good news.

Palster's general council
confirmed Jessica's pre-nup story.

That's bad news. She was our main suspect.

Oh, I meant...

And there's more bad news?

Forensics used plagiarism detection software

to compare Silicon Hallie's blog
entries with Caroline's emails.

The style, the vocabulary, the syntax,
everything's completely different.

So, Caroline wasn't Silicon Hallie.

Okay, but we know that the earlier
posts were definitely about Caroline.

Even if the latter ones weren't,
whoever wrote that blog

knew a hell of a lot about her.

- Linda.
- The intern coordinator?

She was almost too fawning about Caroline.

And she was the one who told us
that we should look into Ben.

She was sending us down the wrong path.

Let's have Meredith and Frankie go get
Linda and bring her down for a little chat.

And have them bring a six-inch tuna for me.

With the works.

Excuse me. Where's Linda?

She left a few minutes ago. Checked
something on her computer then took off.

This is in command line mode.
She memory-dumped.

Did Linda say where she was going?

- She took our car service to 42nd and Park.
- That's Grand Central.

Laura.

Silicon Linda is on the run.

She could be heading anywhere.

Race the clock.

Trains are pulling out every minute.

Okay, wait. I know how to slow 'em down.

- You do?
- Let's get our boy Jake on the phone.

You're trying to entrap me, right?

No, I am offering you a deal based
on your unique set of skills.

You shut down every train
leaving Grand Central,

and we will forget about your
little stunt with the Knicks game.

I can just waltz on out of here?

You can do the wobble out
of here for all I care.

Captain, do we have the authority
to shut down a train terminal?

I'm not shutting anything down.

The terminal's been hacked, and it will be
unhacked right after we catch our killer.

Okay.

Come on, we've got a train to catch.

Yup, almost there.

Just hiding our IP address.

Come on, come on.

Zombie hacking the mainframe, and...

Ladies and gentlemen, we are
experiencing technical difficulties.

Please stand by.

Yes, we did.

Look at you, getting all schemey.

- You're rubbing off on me.
- It worked.

Not for long. You've got five minutes
until the backup system kicks in.

We can't search every train that fast.

- Where does Linda know people?
- Ah.

She got a PhD at Yale.

Uh, New Haven, track 19,
but not for another two hours.

It doesn't make sense. Why would she rush?

Her sister lives in Cold Spring.

Cold Spring, uh, track 32.
Four minutes. Get down there.

All right.

- Check Buffalo.
- Uh, track 36.

Linda had a ticket stub of a
Bills game framed on her desk.

No one in the universe roots for the Bills
unless they have a connection to Buffalo.

Power's back up, folks. Last
call for Buffalo. All aboard.

Tickets. Tickets, please.

You won't be needing that ticket.

Change in your itinerary.

To your feet, please. You have
the right to remain silent.

Anything you say can and will be
used against you in a court of law.

You should call your brother in Buffalo.
Tell him you missed your train.

That was a smart move,
erasing your desktop at work.

Too bad you didn't have enough
time to get to your laptop at home,

Silicon Hallie.

You knew Caroline wasn't the
blogger, because you were.

- I can explain.
- Well, we would appreciate that.

Caroline and I hit it off as
soon as she started at Palster.

- She also hit it off with Clay.
- They were perfect together.

A 98% match.

Her friends at school wouldn't
get it, so she confided in me.

Every thrilling detail.

So, why did you start blogging about it?

When I became Silicon Hallie,

the stories became mine.

It was addictive. Nothing
like that happens to me.

The more you wrote, the bigger the blog got.

The whole city was talking about me.

They just didn't know it was me.

- Caroline figured it out.
- She recognized herself.

She was furious. Cut me out of her life.

At that point, Silicon
Hallie had a life of her own.

I couldn't stop, so I started
making up the stories.

That explains why the earlier posts were
accurate, but the later posts weren't.

Caroline was the only
person that knew the truth,

so to keep her quiet, you killed her.

No, I would never do that!

Come on.

When we found you, you were literally
on the next train out of town.

I overheard Jessica ranting to Clay
about Silicon Hallie and the police.

I thought if the blog was connected
to Caroline's murder, I could be next.

Maybe, or maybe you were
obsessed with Caroline.

Were you upset that she
was moving to California?

- Caroline wasn't moving.
- Yes, she was.

She had a ridiculous job offer from Google.

She turned it down the day before she died.

Why would Caroline turn down
a six-figure offer at Google?

It doesn't make sense.

Which means the reason is
probably completely irrational.

- You say that like that's useful information.
- It is.

What's the most irrational
force under the sun? Love.

Which brings us to the one suspect
we haven't been talking about. Clay.

He just agreed to void their pre-nup.

If Caroline was so in love
with him that she'd turn down

the job offer of a lifetime to be with him,

then she'd also put up a fight if
Clay tried to end their relationship.

There's your motive.

I wouldn't be surprised if Clay
landed that job offer for her

just to get rid of her.

And when she turned it down, he
turned to more extreme measures.

Only there's a problem. Clay was in
Boston when Caroline was poisoned.

How could he be in two places at once?

That's what I'm gonna find out.

Ah, tiny thing.

Can you change the schedule
so I have this weekend off?

Not a chance. We all have our commitments.

Even those of us who did just get waxed.

Wait, what... You know about the Berkshires?

You are trying to sabotage
my relationship with Tony.

The hell I am. You're
up next in the rotation.

Uh-huh. Well, guess what? I'm gonna
sleep with him, and you can't stop me.

But I don't have to help.

- Oh, my lord.
- What the hell is this?

It's a pre-IPO party.

Every last one of the
employees here is going to be

a paper millionaire in the morning.

Well, then they won't miss these.

Oh, the man of the hour.

Oh, my God. They're partying
with Brittany Furlan.

Did Britney Spears get
married and change her name?

She's a Vine megastar.

This is the coolest party
I have ever been at.

You're not at this party.

Bartender.

Palster punch, ma'am? It's a
cherry puree, Tequila and lime.

Yes to the drink, no to the ma'am.

Whoa, heavy handed! I like you.

Detectives.

I'm sure this seems insensitive,
but we had to party tonight.

Morale thing. Uh, do you know Brittany?

- She loves you.
- Oh, that's adorable.

I thought only young people follow Vine.

- I'm young.
- Welcome to my world.

Would you mind if we
grabbed Clay for just a minute?

Yeah, yeah, of course. Come on.

We have some more questions about Caroline.

I'm sure it doesn't look like it, but her
death has touched the entire Palster family.

Family, that's an
interesting choice of words,

given that you cheated
on your wife with her.

Caroline and I were a
98% compatibility match.

But we realized we were best as colleagues.

So, you didn't try to ship her
off to Google in California?

Of course not. Caroline was brilliant.

I wanted all of her ideas for Palster.

Like our new messaging service. Harry
thought it should be subscription based.

Caroline knew it should be ad supported.

- Clay.
- Clay.

I gotta go.

He could be lying.

I still bet he got her that job at Google.

Unless it was someone else with
a close connection to Google.

Harry, he can't hold his liquor.

I don't know about that. I don't buy it.

Hey, Harry.

Nice catch!

Oh, no, Laura. That's not your drink.

I know. It's Harry's. And
it's all puree, no Tequila.

Hey, bartender, have you been
pouring these for Harry all night?

Uh, yes, ma'am. I mean, yes.

Biggest night of his life. Shouldn't
he actually be getting drunk?

Well, he either doesn't want people
to know that he's a lightweight,

or he doesn't want people to
know that he's on a medication

that is lethal if mixed with alcohol.

Like nymexis.

But, same problem, Harry
was also in Boston that day.

How'd he do it?

I think I know. But I'm gonna
need 30 minutes to prove it.

Keep your eyes on him.

Yo, this party is off the chain.

Thanks. We work hard, then we play hard.

And it shows.

Can we borrow you, playa?

For what, a little two on one action?

Something like that.

Okay?

What's going on?

Change of plans. This is
gonna be a three on one.

Actually, four on one.

Our friend Max is on Facetime.
He likes to watch.

- Hi.
- Okay, this is getting weird.

You can drop the fake drunk act.

We know that you've been downing
straight cherry juice all night.

I prefer not to drink.

I just don't want to be a stick in the mud.

You're not a stick. You're a killer.

That's ridiculous.

You didn't initially set
out to kill Caroline.

Actually, the nice HR lady at Google said
that you were personally responsible

for her getting that fantastic job offer.

You were so threatened by her you'd
stop at nothing to make her go away.

Threatened by a college freshman?

Threatened by a woman who was a near
perfect match to your soul friend, Clay.

Clay and I are a near perfect match.

Oh, I don't think so. Clay's
a neat freak. You're a mess.

He reads the Journal and
plays fantasy baseball.

You read The voice and collect toy robots.

That doesn't prove anything.

Your compatibility is a con, Harry.

Angels won't invest if
they don't like your story.

Your perfect friendship
was just that. A story.

In reality, Clay was already
choosing Caroline's ideas over yours.

- Like for the new messaging system.
- She was just an intern.

Today's intern is tomorrow's CEO.

You must have read her Twitter feed.

You knew she was going to be
drinking at her fright night mission.

So, you popped a couple nymexis
tablets into her coffee. Hello.

I wasn't even in New York when it happened.

See, that's where you had me stumped.

How did you poison her drink
if you weren't at Palster?

And then it hit me.

You did it before her coffee got to Palster.

Perk of the job. Gourmet
coffee delivered every day.

You went down to the cafe,
found her dirty chai latte,

extra foam, poisoned it,

and then continued on to the airport.

- Says who?
- Says our eyewitness.

Is this the guy?

Yup. He came in around 8:00.
Wanted to check the whole order.

Even pulled the lid off one.

For a genius, you're a real idiot.

You're under arrest for the
murder of Caroline Adams.

You have the right to remain silent.

First, you convince the captain
to let you dot com everything,

now it's all going back?

This setup was inspired by a
cheater and his murderous partner.

Mmm. Bose, that was a very good call.

Hey! We served the warrant
at Harry's apartment,

found this bad boy. Nymexis.

Ordered online from a pharmacy in Mexico.

Why be down low about high blood pressure?

To protect the IPO.

Who wants to invest in a 27-year-old
CEO with a heart condition?

I should get these to evidence.

Well, the second precinct
is officially Palster free.

I can't believe I ever wanted to work there.

Palster did get one thing right.

I ran our stats through the algorithm.

We're a 96% match.

We are?

Bose, we're gonna be
friends forever. High five.

Take it down. Yes!

- Friends.
- My buddy!

Forever.

Jake, I told you,

when it's your night, you can't bring
the boys back if they have a bad dream.

Congrats on solving the case.
I thought we could celebrate.

And we're gonna see how
champagne pairs with chili.

That's so sweet, but I'm
not in a celebrating mood.

Why's that?

I know you planned the
perfect weekend for us.

- You do?
- And now it's ruined.

Instead of the Berkshires, now I
have to be at work in seven hours.

Between our schedules and my ex,

I just don't know if we're ever
going to find the perfect moment

for us to be...

This one feels pretty perfect to me.

I've got laundry all over the bed.

Not for long.