The Middle (2009–2018): Season 4, Episode 13 - The Friend - full transcript

After a high school career

Of really playing the field,

It was nice to see Axl
finally settle down.

He settled down
in front of the tv...

He settled down
against the fridge...

yep, he settled down
pretty much everywhere.

So did you hear
the buzz on the block?

The new neighbors have finally
moved into the Meenahan's house.

Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
I'm bringing these over

To welcome 'em
to the neighborhood.

You're bringing
potato chips?



It doesn't matter
what you bring.

It's that
you brought something.

So you wanna come with me?

Not in any way.

Aw, come on.
It's the neighborly thing to do.

It'll give us a chance
to check out their stuff.

We already know
it's better than ours.

What's the point?

Hey, mom.

I was just filling in
my dates for wrestlerettes.

If you thought I was
busy as a mascot,

I am gonna get even busier
as a wrestlerette.
Mm-hmm.

Seriously. I'm gonna be
like one of those people

Who says they're crazy busy.



That's how busy
I'm gonna be.

Come on, Mike.
Last chance to go with me.

It's not like you're doing
anything important.

You know what? Hang on.

Thanks, pal.
Tell 'em I said hi.

Hi. Frankie Heck.
We just live down the street.

You know, the house with all
the screaming coming out of it?

Anyway, it's just
a little something

From our home to yours.

Aw.

That is so sweet.

Colleen Webber. Get on in here.
It's cold out there.

Whoa. Looks like a lot
of the neighbors

Have been stopping by.

Well, no.
Just one, actually.

Nancy Donahue.
Do you know her?

Uh, yeah.
I think I do.

oh!

Come on!
Unbelievable!

My husband.
He's watching the game

With a few guys
he met at work.

Honey, Jeff!
Come meet the neighbor!

Hey. Sorry about
the noise.

Hi. I'm Jeff.
Hi. Jeff. Frankie Heck.

Hi. I'm gonna stare at you
for three seconds,

Then I'll never forget
your name.

Locked and loaded.

He's amazing with names.

Thanks...

Rhonda, right?

Hey, did you bring these,
frankie?

Have to say, hands down,
best welcome gift we've gotten.

jeff,
we're down by 12.

Okay. I gotta get
back in there.

All right.
Nice to meet you.
Yeah.

lucky chips coming in.

3-pointer!

Yeah!

Gotta be the chips!
Thank Frankie!

- frankie! Frankie!
- Frankie! Frankie!

Wow. Jeff was great.

Just so much fun.

And then I went back
to my house.

Ugh. It's so depressing
in here.

A little light
wouldn't kill you, Mike.

You're not a bat.

Hey. What are you doing?
It was fine in here.

No, it was dank.

you know,
it was just so much fun

Over at
the new neighbors' house.

There were these guys
watching the game,

And they were
all friendly and festive...

You didn't invite 'em over,
did you?

No, mike. I didn't
invite anybody over.

attagirl.

You know what?
Forget it.

Just sit here
alone in the dark

And watch your tv.

and I can't believe

That I have to say this
for the second consecutive week,

But the bulletin board
outside of the main office

Is for approved announcements
only.

Not pictures of your heinies.

All right.

And now a message
from the cheerleaders.

- All right, Courtney!
- Go, Debbie!

go, hens!

So the Orson High
wrestling team,

Which we never
really knew about,

Is expected to do
super well this season,

And we're uber-pumped.
Aren't we, deb?

We sure are, court.

And it's sad, 'cause they don't
get the school spirit they need.

So we, the football
and basketball cheerleaders,

Have decided to do
triple duty this year

And be the wrestling
cheerleaders, too!

say it with us!

never give up! Never give in!

Thundering hens
fight for that pin!

Mom!

Axl, get off your girlfriend
and take out the trash

Like I already told you to
five times today.

Ugh. Okay.

Don't move a muscle.

It's nice to finally
see your face.

I've really only seen
the back of your head before.

You have
a very oblong head.

oblong.

Hey. You're into
"planet nowhere"?

God, I spent so much time
reading those books,

My vision
started to blur.

Really? You, too?

Who's
your favorite character?

Soran!
Soran!

So many people
prefer the vernegos...

Oh.
But not me.

Brick! Go nerd out
somewhere else.

Silligan. Am I right?

Silligan.

Ah.

Hey, frankie!

Told you. Never forget.

Oh. You out
getting some exercise?

No. I was just returning
those casserole dishes

To the donahues.

You didn't want that
paper plate back, did you?

Oh, no.
That is our gift to you.

You know, Jeff,
this might sound weird,

But you're really friendly,

And my husband...
Well, he's not always,

And I was just wondering

If maybe you could ask him
to hang out sometime.

Oh. Uh...

I don't want to imply that
he doesn't have any friends.

It's just,
his dad is a recluse,

And mike definitely
has those tendencies.

Not that he's gonna
become one,

But you know,
in the back of my mind,

I worry about it.

Oh, he's also a hoarder.
Mike's dad is, not Mike.

Anyway...

Listen, Frankie
I've got one rule in life--

I'll have a beer
with anyone.

Courtney. Debbie.
We gotta talk.

Hi. Are you
our new transfer student?

Welcome to Orson High.

I am not a transfer student.

I'm sue heck. My brother is Axl?
You've talked to me at my house?

You know what? Doesn't matter.

Look, wrestlerettes
already exist,

And that's our job.

We're the ones who cheer
for the wrestling team,

So your cheering services
will not be needed.

Court, what are
wrestlerettes?

I don't know,
but it's a fun name.

We should use it.
No!

You can't use it
because I came up with it...

Last year,
when I founded wrestlerettes.

Wait, I don't think "founded"
is a word, is it?

Mm, I think people
mostly say "found,"

Like "lost and found."

Oh, is that
what you're looking for?

It's in the main office.

And totally feel free

To come watch us cheer
for the wrestlers.

And good luck
at lost and found.

Hello?

Oh, hi!

Yeah, hang on.

Mike, it's for you.

It's never for me.
It's probably some solicitor.

It's not a solicitor.
It's jeff, our new neighbor.

That's what they tell you
to get you on the phone.

Just hang up.

Mike, I'm pretty sure
it's him.

Why is he calling me?

I don't know.
Just take it.

Find out what he wants.

I don't know
what he wants.

he can hear you.

Uh... Hello?

axl?

Shh. I'm talking
to my lady.

that doesn't look
like talking.

We're snapchatting.
It's for grown-ups.

You'll do it, too, in a few
years when you get a phone.

And then in a hundred years
when you get a girlfriend.

Right.

Can I ask you something?

Do you ever worry that Cassidy
might get bored with you

If you don't share the keys
to a lasting relationship,

Such as friendship
and intellectual stimulation?

Just thinking out loud.

Ugh. Where'd you hear
all that junk?

At the library
in the dollar bin,

I picked up "men are from Mars,
women are from Venus."

Not actually a science fiction
book, as it turns out.

but it did talk a lot

About how a couple needs
to find common ground

To keep
the relationship strong.

Hey, we got plenty
in common.

Now just shut up. I gotta say
good night to my girlfriend.

See you then.

So?

so?

What was that about?

Uh, he asked me
to watch the game with him.

- I said fine.
- That was it.

Ooh. Where you gonna go?

I don't know.

Well, is it gonna be
a full dinner,

Or is it just drinks
and light snacks?

It's not a wedding,
frankie.

Well, okay.
That sounds super.

Let me know if you need help
picking out an outfit.

Oh! What a shot.
Mm.

41 to 44!

You must have played
back in the day.

I haven't played in a while.
My knee.

You still have
your original knee?

I'm like 50% Titanium.

Sucks gettin' old,
doesn't it?

Yeah, I hear you.

Sometimes I have to pee
while I'm peeing.

Good!

Tied it up.

Nice shot.
Yes.

Sorry, pulled
my right shoulder.

I gotta go left.

Oh, that's a no-go for me.
Tweaked my back.

Ooh.
What do you say we just
sit and drink more beer?

That sounds good.
All right.

Hold on a sec.

I, uh...

thought maybe
we could have a conversation.

Thought maybe we could, uh,
you know, con-verse.

Oh. Okay.

What do you wanna
"con-verse" about?

Well, uh, I thought
you could start,

'cause, you know,
I was the one

That came up with the idea
of talking.

okay.

Uh, I'll start. Hey,
you going to the pep rally?

Uh, no. Why would I?

Come on, axl.
I had two A.P. Tests today.

I don't feel like talking.
I hope that's cool.

Yeah. Pfft.
totally cool, yeah.

Yep, brick had gotten
into axl's head,

Just like sue had to do
with her wrestlerettes.

Okay. I know you all saw
the assembly the other day,

And I am sure you had
the same reaction I did.

Yeah, the cheerleaders
were really good.

No. Weren't you listening?

The cheerleaders are
stealing wrestlerettes from us.

You guys, we have to
do something about this.

That sounds like
it could take a while.

This is the night
I usually bury things

I found during the week.

Oh, I could sew together
a spirit quilt

For the cheerleaders,

To bless them
in their endeavors.

No. We're not burying anything,
and we are not blessing anyone.

We built wrestlerettes
from the ground up,

And we gotta fight for it.
Who's with me?

Wait.
We're--we're gonna fight?

'cause I got a sock full of
old batteries in my locker.

I call the blonde one.

Becky!

So... My house
for the next one?

You got it.

- all right.
- I'll see you around.

Thanks. It was fun.

Don't thank me.
Thank your wife.

She's the one
that suggested it.

Suggested what?

You know,
us getting together.

Uh-huh?

Yeah, she said
you were shy.

You're not shy.
If anything, you talk too much.

I'm just kiddin'.

Have a good one.

yeah. Will do.

Hi. How'd it go?

Did you ask Jeff
to hang out with me?

What? No.

I mean, I ran into him outside
when I got the mail.

That's a "yes."
that's a Frankie "yes."

what happened?

Did--did you have a bad time?

I had a fine time.
Hey, you had a fine time.

That's great. So you guys
getting together again?

Nope.
Well, why not?

Oh, I don't know.
Maybe 'cause I'm shy.

Okay, listen...

You telling guys I'm shy?

First off,
you don't use that word.

And if anything,
it's "stoic."

Mike, it's not like I'm going
around talking about you.

I only said
you were... Stoic

As to how it related
to your dad.

W-what are you doing
talking about my dad?

I don't know, just how you
can be sort of like him,

And how he hardly leaves
the house and he's a hoarder,

And he--
are you out of your mind?

Mike, who cares?
If you had a good time,

What does it matter
how you and jeff got together?

Because I'm a grown man!

Your wife doesn't call
other grown men

And ask them to take you out.
It's weird.

Yeah, but you
weren't doing it.

I'm not 5, frankie.

I don't need you to set up
playdates for me.

I have friends, okay?

And I told him that.

I totally told him
you have friends.
Aah!

Mike, I'm sorry. I thought
you two would like each other.

Even Nancy Donahue thought
it would be a good idea

To get you guys together.

You talked to Nancy Donahue
about me.

That's it. We're movin'.

Look, it doesn't matter
how you and Jeff met.

The point is, you can't let
pride stand in the way

Of what could be
a great friendship.

Frankie, no more talking
about me to anybody.

Period. Got it?

can I at least
tell Nancy it went well?

I need you to teach me stuff
so I can talk to people.

It's Cassidy, isn't it?

You're feeling
intellectually inferior.

No.

But if you must know,
I feel she's smarter than me.

Ah.
I knew this day would come--

A day I'd become more to you
than something to indian burn,

Whip a towel at,
or force to smell your farts.

Just shut up and help me.

Now you don't need
to know all of them.

Just pick one.

That way,
if someone talks to you

About a particular artist,
you respond by saying,

"that's interesting
that you like this artist,

But I like... Blank."

Hmm. Great. Perfect.

Now just show me
this blank dude's stuff,

And let's kick art's sorry ass.
Ha ha!

J.D. Salinger's famous book
on teen angst

Is called
"catcher in the..."

"rye."

The character Atticus Finch
is from the book...

"to kill a mockingbird."

F. Scott fitzgerald's
most famous novel

Is entitled "The Great..."

"Escape."
no.

Ugh. "Train Robbery."

Sorry.

Uh... The "Pumpkin,
Charlie Brown."

Wait. Wait.

"Gatsby."
"Great Gatsby."

Whoo! Ha! I win!

Well, Axl might have been
feeling victorious,

But I was feeling
a little guilty.

I'd overstepped my bounds,
and I knew I had to fix things.

Hi, Jeff? It's Frankie,
your new neighbor.

Yeah, hi.
So here's the thing--

Mike had a really good time
the other night,

And I know he would love
to do it again,

But he's not exactly the type
to pick up the phone.

Not that he's socially awkward.
He has friends.

So if I didn't make
that clear before, he does.

But he also has
that loner D.N.A.

I mean, you should
meet his brother.

The guy lived in a tent
for a year.

But anyway, if you wanted
to ask him out again,

That would be great.

But he was a little hinky that
I asked you in the first place,

So if you talk to him,

Maybe you don't mention
that I call...

Okay. Talk later. Bye.

Have you lost your mind?

and that's why
you should always wear socks.

Okay, students, please put
your hands together

For something we've never had
at this school before.

Hmm? Wrestling cheerleaders!

Not so fast.

Eh, what are you doing here?

What we are doing here
is fighting for wrestlerettes,

Which I founded.

Yeah, founded.
It's a word. Look it up.

I don't get it.
Do you get it, Deb?
No, I don't.

How about we let
the school decide

Who gets to cheer
for the wrestlers?

Oh, that's right.
Time to bring it on.

- oh, my god.
- It's a cheer-off!

It's a cheer-off! Whoo!

"h"! "e"! "n"! "s"!

- Whoa. Axl.
- What are you doing here?

Why wouldn't I be here?

'cause the pep rally
is going on.

And if everybody's
not suitably peppy,

There's no way
we'll take down roosevelt.

Eh, I don't wanna
be there.

I wanna be here,
because art is awesome.

ooh. Like what you're doing.

Sort of reminds me of, uh,
Van Gogh's "starry night,"

Which he actually painted
from memory during the day.

So... Uh, did you know Van Gogh
did his most famous paintings

The last two years
of his life?

Also, "To kill a Mockingbird"
is a significant book.

I could talk about that
for hours.

I can also talk about
"Catcher in the Rye,"

But not for as long.

Okay. What's going on here?

I don't know.

Um, doesn't it
bother you

We don't have
deep conversations and stuff?

Not really.

Guess I never
thought about it.

Does it bother you?

Well...

Yeah.

Kinda.

I... I know what's
going on in here,

But I don't always
say it.

You know, I don't always
express it.

And before,
I never really cared,

But when you start, like...
Falling for somebody...

I just want to make sure
that you see

There's more to me
than...

You know,
everybody else sees.

That's
a pretty deep thought, Axl.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah. I like it.

You like my thought, huh?
My thought turn you on?

Oh, yeah.

How about
I give you another one?

I'd like another one.

I bet you would.

Okay, okay.
They were really good.

But we can do this.

This is the moment we've been
waiting for our entire lives.

The rapture?

No, ruth.
But that's a biggie, too.

Hit it!

♪ Baby, look at me

♪ and tell me what you see

♪ you ain't seen
the best of me yet ♪

♪ give me time,
I'll make you forget the rest ♪

♪ I got more in me

♪ and you can set it free

♪ I can catch the moon
in my hands ♪

♪ don't you know who I am?

♪ remember my name

♪ fame

♪ I'm gonna live forever

♪ I'm gonna learn how to fly

♪ high

♪ I feel it coming together

♪ people will see me and cry

♪ fame

♪ I'm gonna make it to heaven

♪ light up the sky
like a flame ♪

♪ fame

♪ I'm gonna live forever

♪ baby, remember my name

♪ remember, remember

♪ remember, remember

♪ remember, remember

♪ remember, remember
♪ remember my name

♪ fame

I thought about it,
and Mike's right.

I stepped over the line
with Jeff.

So I did what I should have
done right from the beginning--

I called his wife.

Hi, Colleen,
it's Frankie, your neighbor.

I hope you don't mind me leaving
a message on your cell,

But, well,
I was a bit of a dope,

And I called Jeff
so he would call Mike again,

And Mike found out.

And I promised him
I wouldn't call Jeff again.

So that's why
I'm reaching out to you,

Just wife-to-wife.
'cause it would be silly

If they didn't get together
because of what I did.

So if you could tell your
husband to just call my husband

So they could grab
another beer,

That would be great.

Hi. It's Frankie
calling back real quick.

Now that I thought about it,

Maybe don't tell Jeff
I called you,

'cause that might be weird.

hi. Frankie again.

You know how I said
in the last message

Not to tell Jeff I called you?

I realized I shouldn't ask you
to lie to your husband.

So however you wanna
handle it amongst yourselves

Is your business,
but how 'bout no one tell Mike?

just let's none of us
tell mike, okay?

Sorry to call back again,

But I just wanna be
super-duper clear.

'cause you don't really know me,

And I don't want you to think
I keep secrets from my husband.

'cause I don't.
We have a very good marriage.

I mean,
everybody has their problems.

But I mean, it's good.
No, it's solid.

I feel like I'm starting
to sound crazy.

But someone who knows
they're crazy

Isn't really crazy, right?
Like Hitler.

oh, god, I just realized
I mentioned Hitler,

And that's really inappropriate.

I don't even know
if you're jewish.

Doesn't matter.
Hitler's horrible for everybody.

You know what?
Let's just start over.

You can tell Jeff
whatever you want...

Well, it's no surprise
that we didn't see

Our new neighbors much
after that.

Although we did see them
briefly the other day.

I don't know. Maybe it's true--

I can't leave
well enough alone.

But I like to think
I'm striving for excellence

In a family of settlers.

Sometimes you succeed,
and sometimes you don't.

You know, I'm glad we didn't
become friends with them.

They're weird.

Yeah.
They're definitely weird.