The Middle (2009–2018): Season 4, Episode 1 - Last Whiff of Summer: Part 1 - full transcript

Back to school.

Time to leave the carefree
memories of summer behind

and buckle down for another year.

Here we go again.

Ugh. Do we have to?
I'm not ready.

Can't we go back to June,

when the whole summer was
stretched out in front of us?

You got no memory for pain, Frankie.

You sure you wanna go back there?

Well, we were very hopeful
when it started.

_



You smell that?

I'm telling you, something's
dead in this car.

It goes away in the winter,

but it reactivates in the summer.

No, no. The grass, Mike.
Fresh-cut grass.

If it's fresh-cut,
you know it's not ours.

Doesn't it just
take you back, though?

That's it right there.

You know, it's just that thing,

that feeling of summer that
you can't describe,

you know, "this."

We should have
an amazing summer, Mike.

Let's have an amazing summer.

Yes, let's, my darling.
With our travel budget



of whatever's in the couch cushions,

the world is our oyster.

Ugh. It's not just
about money, Mike.

I mean, don't you remember
summer as a kid?

Going to drive-in movies,
playing ghost in the graveyard

till your folks called you inside?

- Oh, yeah. That was a real summer.
- Yeah.

I could kill a whole day

just smacking a tennis ball
against the house

and lying on my back,
in the yard, doing this...

Love that.
Still can't do that.

Ah, it's not hard, Frankie.
It's all in the thumbs.

You gotta use your thumbs.

Meanwhile, our kids were busy

using their thumbs for other things.

Look at this.

Unh-unh.

Come on. Turn 'em off.

You're not spending your whole
summer staring at screens.

- I'm going in!
- That goes for the TV, too.

Whoa! Careful!

Out.

Well, I don't see any kids
zombied out all over my couch,

so my talk must've done something.

Well, don't get too excited.

I just busted them huddled
in the garage,

watching the old black and white
TV with the cracked screen.

Are you serious?

What is wrong with them?

I-I told them to go outside.

Oh, my gosh.
You told them something,

and they didn't do it?
Maybe those weren't our kids.

I don't get it.

When I was a kid, I ate supper
with one foot on the floor.

I couldn't wait to get outside.

And I didn't even need any toys.

All I needed was a stick and a rock.

How do you think I got 'em
out of the garage?

They really are pathetic, Mike.

All they care about is getting
100,000 coins

for Farmville or Pac-Man

or whatever it is they're playing.

I'm pretty sure they're not
playing Pac-Man.

Yeah, the point is,
Axl's gonna be a senior.

This might be the last summer
we're all together as a family.

I just don't want them
clicking it away.

We have to reactivate them,

kind of like that smelly
dead thing in the car.

Ugh!

This is so pointless.

It's our summer.

I mean, they're the ones forcing
us to go to school all year.

This is our time to unwind

howsoever and with whatsoever
we choose, right?

Totalmundo. That's not a thing
people really say, is it?

- No.
- Well, I might try to start it.

I wouldn't. I know dad acted
like this was his idea,

but this has mom written all over it.

If they're all of a sudden
gonna start caring,

I'd appreciate
a little heads-up.

Brick, what are you doing?

You didn't kill another pet, did you?

No, I don't even have
a pet right now.

Do I?

I'm planting a tomato.

That's weird.

I found it in my backpack.

- Oh, that's much more normal then.
- I must've left it in there

from when we were learning
about photosynthesis.

Ah! That sounds like
a school word, Brick.

It's summer.
Leave the learning inside.

Hey, guys. Your dad and I
were talking...

Ugh! Why?

And we've come up
with a fun summer thing

for the whole family.

Adoption?

Just say the word.

Look, we've been watching you three,

and, uh, I gotta tell you, it's sad.

We're sad for you.

You got no clue
of what a fun summer is.

And to that end, we are going to...

a drive-in!

- I get fries.
- No fair.

You always call fries first

- and them mom makes us share.
- I want my own fries!

No, not a drive-thru,
you fools.

We're talking about
a drive-in movie.

Movie! They're letting us
watch a movie!

No. Stop.
Nobody's going inside.

Your mom and I are taking you
to a fun summer thing,

and it's only 2 bucks a car,

and it's called
a drive-in movie.

Is that like the ride at Disney World

where you're actually in the movie?

We're going to Disney World?!

Nobody's going to Disney World.
Nobody's in the movie.

Ugh. It's about giving
you people some... this.

They have no appreciation
of "this."

I don't get it.

Why would we drive somewhere
to watch a movie

when we can just watch a movie here?

I-I just don't understand
what we're doing.

Yeah, I'm with Sue-pid. Sounds
like a waste of gas to me.

Totalmundo.

The car isn't moving.

You're... you're... you're sitting
in, like, a parking lot.

You're not making this sound fun.

So we're not allowed
to watch a movie here,

but we can watch one outside?

Do you guys get this?
I-I don't get it.

There's nothing to get.
Your dad and I were talking...

- I told you this was all her.
- It's not all me!

Your dad and I had
an insane idea together

that we could all do something

that we thought
was fun when we were younger.

Oh, no. Here it comes.

More tales of life on the prairie.

Fine. You win.
We'll play tennis.

And I'll stay here with my tomato.

To-mah-to.

Nobody stays. Everybody,
put on your shoes and let's go.

Or you could put on your PJs.

What?

'Cause you'll be in the car.

I don't get it.
Why are we still in the car?

- I thought we nixed that.
- What are we even talking about?

I'm really, really confused.

Okay.

Imagine a giant iPhone
that you can drive up to.

I'm listening.

So we dragged our poor victims
off into the night

toward a future fond memory
made just for them by...

yeah, awesome parents who care.

Oh, boy.

Ooh! Check this out.

Yeah. Hi. I'll have
a large fries and...

Axl.

Let him order. He'll figure it
out soon enough.

Look at this, you guys.

It's a triple feature...
"Chitty Chitty Bang Bang,"

"Fiddler on the Roof,"
and "Serpico."

Mm. 2 bucks a car.
It makes sense.

I've never even heard of
any of those movies.

You never said they were
gonna be old movies.

They're not old.
They're classic.

"Classic" is code
for "lame."

I mean, how could it not be?

The first one has "chitty"
right in the title.

Oh, look! There's a playground
up there.

And after you play on that,
when the movie starts,

you come back to the car.

If I leave the car,
I'm never coming back.

Hey, look. The couple in the car
next to us are wrestling.

Oh.

Hey! Family night!

Axl, switch with me.
I can't see behind dad.

Pfft.

Axl, I think you're gonna
really like "Serpico."

It's got Pacino in it.
Remember the coach

- from "Any Given Sunday"?
- Oh, yeah? Cool.

Great football movie.
Oh, hey, that reminds me.

The, uh, scout from Southern
called again.

I think he knows
another school's after you.

- Axl, switch with me.
- It's tough to pick.

I mean, East Indiana's
got hotter chicks,

but Southern's are supposed to
be sluttier, so...

Family night.

Dad, can you duck down
when the movie starts?

Hang on. You know, Axl,

maybe we can visit both campuses
again later in the summer.

Dad.

I still can't believe we're
choosing between two schools.

I know, for Axl.

Dad, I am not gonna be able
to see when I'm behind you.

Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad!

Guys, I'm trying to listen
to what they're saying.

Axl, switch with me!

Get your freak leg
off of me, sue! God!

Dad's not listening to me! What...

Okay, guys. Hey, guys.
Hey! Hey! Hey!

Hey! Why don't you all go
to the swing set?

Uh, 'cause I'm not 6.

Not a suggestion.

- Ugh!
- Go.

Come on.

Why do I feel like this was
more fun when we were kids?

Because when we were kids
we didn't have kids?

Ah.

Axl, do I have anything on my butt?

No, you're good.

God, this is lame.

Every year, they go through
some kind of midlife crisis.

Thank God their lives are
more than halfway over.

By the way, nice job getting us
kicked out of the car, Sue.

It wasn't my fault. I was trying
to get dad to listen to me,

but he only wanted to hear you
go on and on about football.

Well, that's 'cause I'm his favorite.

What? You are not
dad's favorite, Axl.

Okay.

Nobody is anybody's favorite.

Parents don't have favorite kids.

Sure they do. Everybody's got
a favorite everything.

- What's your favorite fruit?
- Banana.

- Favorite group?
- One Direction.

- Favorite movie?
- "Fiddler on the Roof."

You haven't seen it yet.

Yeah, but I have a really good
feeling about it.

See? You think parents
don't have a favorite kid?

Everybody has a favorite everything,

and in this family,
the favorite kid is me.

Ha. That's hilarious.

Why would you be their favorite?

You cause them so much stress,
you get bad grades,

you do dumb things with your friends.

There is no way
you're they're favorite.

Oh! There is way!

I'm their firstborn.

I was born when they still
had love to give.

Well, actually, I'm the baby,

so I'm pretty sure I'm the favorite.

You're a loser who misses
a tomato. I win.

Believe what you want,
but in every book, every movie,

the baby is always the favorite.

Not when he's an accident.

That is not true. Sue!

They called you "Oops"
till you were 3.

Look, there is two of you,
and I am the only girl.

Everyone knows girls are easier.

I am so, so nice.

I think it's pretty clear
who the favorite would be

if they had a favorite,
which they don't.

Sue, think about it.

What do you really contribute
to this family?

I mean, Oops is freakishly smart,

I got recruiters all wanting
a piece of the ax,

and hmm, what has Sue Sue Heck
really brought to the party?

Nothing but the huge rust stain
on her butt.

Axl!

Look, clearly, you two
didn't fulfill them,

and they were forced to keep going

until they got what
they wanted... moi.

You don't know anything.
Neither of you.

Parents don't have favorite kids!

I'm sorry! They just don't!

Least favorite says "what."

What?

See, it's funny

because he said
"least favorite says 'what, '"

and then you repeated "what" and...

Don't nerd up my joke, Brick.
Just let it lie.

- This is nice, isn't it?
- Mm-hmm.

We should do more things like this.

Why don't we do more things
like this?

I don't know.

Let's worry about
why we don't do it more

when we're not doing it now.
Okay?

Good plan.

Okay, I get the seat behind mom.

- Ah! What? I mean, as long as we...
- Whoo, popcorn!

- There you go. Help yourself...
- Gimme some of that.

- For crying out loud.
- No ranch seasoning?

Whatever. I'll just eat this
till my fires come.

Mom, I really need
to ask you something.

- Shh. Movie's starting.
- Mm.

How can you tell?
Is that the sound?

It's so crackly. Oh, my God.
I can barely hear it.

- Turn it up. Up! Up! Up!
- Okay.

I think I missed the beginning.

The credits are my favorite part.

Can someone rewind it?

Fun to witness the death of
civilization up close, isn't it?

Do you guys have favorite kids?

Mm. I like those Donahues.

No, of us.
Mom, I really want to know this.

Do you guys have favorite kids?

Among us kids,
do you guys have favorites?

Honey, don't be ridiculous.

Parents love all their kids
infinitely.

If there's infinite love,
then it's not possible to love

one more than the other, because
infinite love is infinite.

Guess I'd say Axl.

- Dad!
- Mike!

What?

Well, no, sure,

the infinite stuff your mom said...

Yeah, but, I mean, if I had to pick,

it's... it's... I just have more
in common with him, I guess.

What?

Why you staring at me?

I...

We have football,
we hang out together,

talking about sports.

It's not personal.
Just human nature.

What?

Told ya.

Ohh.

As June turned into late June,

Brick's tomato plant grew...

And grew...

And finally turned into a tomato.

Yep, anyone who said our summer
wasn't progressing beautifully

didn't know what
they were talking about.

I'm just saying,
East Indiana State is closer.

You gotta consider that.

We still don't know how much
they're gonna play you,

but I like the package
they're putting together.

I don't want to be closer.

I wanna be as far away
from you people as possible.

It's like when Tevye decided
his town was too small,

so he went on the flying car
to New York to become a cop.

You do know that's
three separate movies?

Dad, I know you're aware

that since the incident
at the drive-in,

I've kinda been freezing you out.

Mm-hmm?

I guess I just sorta felt
like Serpico

when his toymaker friend
betrayed him,

you know, before the pogrom guys
burned down the wedding.

Again, three separate movies.

My point is, I think I was
blaming you, but I realized

I have to shoulder
the responsibility as well.

Of course it would make sense
that Axl would be your favorite.

You spend more time with him,
and he's a boy and everything,

and I've gotta own that.

Sue, he's not my favorite.
It's just a dumb thing I said.

Owning it. But it's not enough
just to own it.

I have to fix it,

and that's why I'm hereby
declaring this

the summer of Sue and dad!

Wow!

That's a... big book.

Yes, it is, and you and I are
gonna fill every single page

with special memories
of our summer together.

Memories we make...

starting now.

Aah! Adorbs!

I'm gonna go print it out right now!

Okay.

Infinite love.

Could've been so easy.

And as the summer wore on,

Mike realized that more and more.

Pick a color.

Blue.

B-L-U-E. Pick a number.

- Three.
- One, two, three. Pick a higher number.

- Four.
- One, two, three, four.

So then Spencer came back
and was like,

"are you guys going
to the pool?"

and carly thinks
he was asking her out,

but he did say "guys,"
so I'm not sure.

What do you think, dad?

Brad's at tap camp, so I really
need a man's opinion.

Uh...

It's called pass the candle,

and it's a really cool
trust exercise.

We do it at slumber parties
all the time.

I just shared with you

that I don't really like
the feel of sticky tape.

Now it's your turn to share
something with me.

Wait.
Dad, did you make a wish?

Yes.

Yes, I did.

Relax. She's not here.

What are you doing?

Working out and bulking up
at the same time.

I'm the world's most efficient man.

Axl!

What is this that I just found
under your bed?

I swear it's not mine.

It's a report card
with your name on it.

Oh, yeah. That's mine.

Look at this, Mike.

It turns our your favorite son
failed a class.

- What?
- Well, I can explain.

All right,
the first half of the year,

I didn't even know I was taking it.

I thought I had a free period,

then everyone was too far ahead,
and I was totally lost.

In English?

That shouldn't even be a requirement.

I've been speaking it,
like, half my life.

How long were you planning
on hiding this from us?

I swear, I was gonna tell you
right after

I did something good,
but nothing good happened, so...

If you're gonna sit around this house

waiting for good things to happen,

you got a long wait, mister.

What's going on?

Is Axl in some kind of trouble?

Uh, yeah, your brother may not
be going to college.

Chillax. I got, like,
two schools fighting over me.

Not if you don't finish
high school, you don't.

You know, my report card was
quite good.

I could maybe tack it up here
on the fridge

for you to peruse at your leisure.

It's not that big of a deal.

It's one class.
I can just take it next year.

No, you can't. You've got
a full course load as it is.

Damn it, Axl!

We were gonna spend
one last summer together,

and now I gotta scramble around

to see if I can even get you
into summer school!

No! No school in summer.

Those things together are
an oxymoron.

Whoa.
I think I used it right.

See? I know this stuff.

The passing grade is
just a formality.

Please. Don't make me go
to summer school.

What about
the... the... the... the "this"?

Huh? You said that was
very important.

I'll go outside right now
and hit tennis balls.

Since I got good grades,
I could go do that.

Dad, care to join me?

Okay, let me tell you
what's gonna happen now.

You are going to go to summer school,

and you are going to excel,
or I am gonna reach under

that bed of yours and choke you
with whatever else I find there!

God. That's so typical.

You just focus on the one bad thing

and completely ignore
all the C's and D's.

Oh, my God. Summer school's
even lamer than real school.

Now they expect me to memorize
a dumb raven poems

that barely even rhyme.
I mean, I could write

a billion times better one
than this right now.

Summer blows. Away it goes.

It's totally sucky...

Something that rhymes
with "sucky."

I think Poe can rest easy
another day.

This is good, guys.
We got here early.

We staked out a really good spot.

Ooh! Yeah, baby!
I love me some fireworks!

Nothing says summer like fireworks.

Still in there swingin', huh, pally?

- Mm-hmm.
- Gotta hand it to us.

A lesser family would've given up.

Is there a lesser family?

Ugh.
There's barely anyone here.

That's because everybody
with lesser parents

are in their houses,
glued to their screens,

and we are having a nice picnic.

Who's got the blue bag?

You forgot the blue bag?

No, I absolutely did not forget
the blue bag.

I pulled it out of the trunk.

Relax. I probably set it
next to the car.

I'll just go back and get it.

Dad, I made up a bunch of questions

for us to ask each other.

I call it "the summer
of Sue and dad survey,"

which when abbreviated
spells "so sad," but it's not.

It's the opposite of that.
It's happy.

Mm.

How long is this gonna last?

Your daughter loving you?
I don't know.

Okay, question one...

Which character on "Glee" do you
most identify with and why?

Dad, wanna go toss a football around?

Yes.
I think better when I move.

Ooh.

All right, dad, going wide!

Good catch!

You're trying way too hard
with dad, Sue.

It's getting embarrassing.

Uh... I think
the collage I made

of us making collages
would beg to differ.

I have made a lot of good headway.

Found it.

A few things fell out,
but this chicken is good.

Mmm.

So you're not dad's favorite.

Move on.
I've made peace with it.

Oh, come on.

Are you guys still
talking about this?

Look, your dad says stuff,
he doesn't think,

there's no favorites,
he loves you all the same.

How about this kid?
That's my boy!

Axl, get off of dad's shoulders.
It's time to eat.

- All right! Whoo!
- Great pass!

Mmm. Triangle watermelon.

My favorite.

See? What'd I tell you? Fruit,
kids, parents, everything.

Parents?

Hells, yeah, parents.
I got favorites.

Like, in terms of you two,
hands down, dad's my favorite.

Axl, we shouldn't do this.

It only ends up
hurting people's feelings.

It's okay, Sue.
I have pretty thick skin.

I mean, of course Axl's gonna
say dad's his favorite.

Dad picked him.

They're in cahoots.

I'm not in cahoots with anyone.

This is a silly
discussion to even be having.

Everyone has their own opinions.
Right, guys?

I don't think we should
be talking about this.

No. Go on, Brick.

I think we're all very interested

in what you have to say.

Look, you have a lot of things
in your favor.

I'm not saying it wasn't
a tough call,

but I gotta go dad.

Dad?

This guy right here?

You're the one that nags them.
That's all.

That's the only reason
they're picking me.

This is you defending me?
The nag defense?

You do nag us a lot.

No, you guys.

Stop.
You can't just discount mom.

Mom is there for us.

She does a lot of things for us.

Yeah...

Think about it.
How much does she really do?

I mean, she doesn't cook us
that much food.

Then again, do we really want her to?

This chicken's pretty rank.

I like it.

That is true.

Your after-school
pickup record's a little spotty.

She's not the most reliable.

She did leave me
at wrestlerette practice

so late the janitor went home
and my hair froze.

It was one time.
I fell asleep.

Come on. You were going

in the right direction
there before, Sue.

Just stand up for yourself
and your beliefs.

Yeah, just say it, Sue.
Who's your favorite?

I am not gonna do this.
I am not gonna participate

in anything that's just gonna
end up hurting mom's feelings.

I'm sorry, mom.

I am so, so sorry.

It's just that it's
the summer of Sue and dad.

Wow.

Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.

So you're not their favorite parent.

You're a solid second place.

- Eh.
- Eh?

Mrs. Donahue sends Sean with
extra cookies for my lunch.

Hang on. This is wrong.

None of us are being fair
to mom here.

Maybe if you made your case.

Oh, please.
I am not gonna make my case.

Okay, fine.

First of all, I'm the one that
does all things kid-related.

I sign all your permission slips,

I run out and get you poster board,

I clean that cesspool
you call a backpack.

Frankie, don't do this.

Oh, I'm doing it.
Do you know

all three of your heads
were unnaturally large,

thanks to your giant
favorite parent over here's

weird genetic quirk?

And that after 27 months
of carrying you people around,

I can no longer sneeze or laugh
or jump in the bouncy house

without peeing?

They don't really need to know that.

Okay. What about tonight?

Who's the one
that got us out of the house,

that packed the blue bag
full of tasty chicken,

and searched the newspapers
for the best park

with the best view
of the best fireworks,

all so we could create one
stinking memory of "this"?

Well, if anybody's
still confused, it was me.

Me, me, me.

So just lie down, stop talking,
and start watching,

because nothing says summer
like fireworks!

Nobody... say...
anything.

As July turned into August,

the only healthy relationship

left in the house
was Brick and his tomato.

It grew so big he needed
to find support for it.

Brick!

And then he found other support
for it.

Brick!

I'd like to say we were
making the same progress

on our summer...

But I wasn't throwing in
the towel just yet.

Guys, come on.
It's a beautiful day out there,

and I'm about to show you
some real fun.

Guess what I used to do
when I was a kid.

Ride dinosaurs?

Yes, 'cause I'm a billion years old.

Come on. You're gonna love it.

Ta-da!

What are we supposed to do?

Run through it.

Why?

Because it's fun.

Come on. I'll show you.

Whoo-hoo! Whoo!

What do you do now?

You run through it again, like...

Whoa! Whoa! It's cold,
but exhilarating.

I don't get it.

- Please stop.
- Me neither.

No, try it.
Listen if your clothes get wet,

I won't freak out on you
like your dad would.

Come on.
It's... it's spontaneous.

Just... Whoo!

You can go slow

or you can go fast. Aah!

Skip...

You can go backwards.

Whoo! Ooh.

You can pretend like you're
leaping into another dimension.

Oh, sure.

If your dad suggested it,
you would do it.

Well, I'm not playing
this popularity contest.

Yeah, I'm not.

You know, Brick,

I always thought you and I
had a special bond. Hmm?

Mother and son...
no stronger bond on earth.

Really? I thought you believed
in infinite love.

Well, yes,

infinite love
while also understanding

that you might have a special
connection to one person

or parent more than the other.

And here's the thing.
I know you probably felt

the pressure to say dad was
your favorite

'cause that's the way the whole
family seemed to be leaning,

but honestly,

I think it takes real character

to speak out and express
your own feelings,

and I think that you have
that kind of character.

Mom, you're better than this.

I'm not, though, Brick.
I'm really not.

This is killing me. How could
you pick dad over me?

He says it's okay if my socks
don't match.

But it's not! Because people
will think you're weird,

and I'm only telling you that
'cause I love you more than dad.

It's 'cause he's tall.

People love tall people.
I've seen the studies.

Look, to be honest,

I think the fireworks thing
really set you back.

I mean, you literally robbed us
of fire in the sky.

Plus, we all got sick
from your chicken.

That was a month ago. What,
are you guys keeping score?

32 to 10. And if it was up
to Axl and Sue,

you'd only have 4 points.

- Brick, does dad know you're...
- Oh, don't worry.

They're not dad's. I found them
on the playground.

All right.

So, uh, listen,
just off the top of my head,

you know, totally unrelated
to this discussion,

summer's almost over.

So if there's anything,

anything at all
that you wanted to do,

I'd certainly do my best
to try and make it happen.

Really?

Well, actually,

I read that the River County fair is

having a big tomato contest.

The winner gets a trophy

and a shout-out
on the River Soil web site.

Ugh. Brick,
it's three hours away.

It'll probably get you 20 points.

Fine.

Dad, so glad you're home.

I got markers, stencils, and jewels,

and I thought we could
each make a page

for the "summer of Sue and dad" book,

but we don't know
what the other is doing,

and then we dedicate 'em
to each other.

Hang on, Sue.
Axl, what are you doing?

I am pen face.

Well, be book face
and start studying.

You got a lot of material
to cover by Friday.

Uh, how many times have you
taken eleventh grade English?

'Cause I've taken it twice now,

so I think I know
a little bit more than you.

Dad, glitter glue or sharpie markers?

Oh, is that so? Okay.

Let's take a little quiz.

In the first act
of "Death of a Salesman,"

which character...

Death.

Death isn't even a character, Axl.

That's fine.

I guess we'll just sit here
and go over this together.

And it was at that moment,
Sue realized...

Attention didn't have to be positive,

and maybe negative attention

was better than no attention at all.

So Sue set out to explore
her dark side.

Well, dark for Sue.

She used Mike's razor...

Ah!

Not using a coaster.

Nope. Hot day, too.

Whatevs.

She didn't wind up the hose...

And worst of all...

Going to bed without my headgear,

even though the orthodontist

totally recommends
I wear it at night.

But I don't care. Whatevs.

So as we headed into
the final few days of summer,

we were all frustrated,

but we had one more chance
to salvage the summer...

the River County fair.

Hey, gentle on the bumps, please.

I can't believe this. I finally
finish my last English paper

while we're pumping gas,
and instead of taking me out

or buying me a reward,

I'm stuck chauffeuring a tomato
to a loser fest.

This is a big deal.

There was a whole write-up
about last year's.

Listen to this...

"As gawkers lined past
the table full of tomatoes,

they were heard to exclaim,

'well, I never saw anything
like this, '

and 'I think this one's
gonna be a winner.'"

Aah!

Axl, come on.

This could be our last summer
together as a family.

Don't you want to get some of "this"

before you're out there
dealing with all that?

Oh, my God.
Isn't "this" over yet?

It's not this. It's "this."

Well, I want to do this, this, and...

This.

You know, dad, I'm not surprised
you wanted to drive together

so you could talk to me alone.

What are you talking about?
I had to stop at work first,

and you said
you wanted to come with me.

I get it.
I've been out of control.

I'm sure you're very
disappointed in my behavior.

Well, you've been sort of
annoying with that scrapbook.

No, it's good you're intervening now,

'cause I am at a crucial point
in my life

where I could go either way.

♪ Do-do-do-do ♪

♪ do-do-do-do ♪

I mean,

I stopped taking my multivitamins,

so I don't know
where that's gonna lead.

Yep. Probably got a lot
of attention headed my way,

and not the good kind.

I've done some bad things, dad.

Bad things.

Yesterday I was at a health fair,

and there was a booth
with a basket of chapstick,

and I took one.

Maybe they weren't even free.

I don't know.

They could've been for sale,
and I just shoplifted.

Whatevs.

Oh, God. Oh!

I think I'm gonna throw up.

You didn't eat the ham sandwich
that was in that towel, did you?

I'm just nervous.

I heard there's out-of-towners
from Des Moines coming in,

and they had above-average
rainfall this year.

Axl, let us out.
I gotta give Brick some air.

Just park the car and meet us
at the funnel cake stand.

Don't say "funnel cake."

Funnel cake.

Oh.

You here for the demolition derby?

Uh, yeah. Sure.

Okay. This way.

What the...
Hey! Get back here!

Are you kidding me?

This is the worst parking lot ever.

I'm gonna need your insurance card!

Who's gonna win this time?

Number 11...

This worked out just the way
you wanted, didn't it, Axl?

You saw that he was a champion,

and you couldn't take
that somebody else

was gonna get the glory.

You are a small, small, petty man.

God, Brick, it was an accident!
What about my car?

Who drives a car into
a demolition derby by mistake?

At least I placed fourth.

If it wasn't for sergeant
smashup, I would've medaled.

Listen, everybody,
just take a breath.

This is nothing we can't work out

over a couple
of fried snickers, okay?

Last Sunday, in church,
when the priest told us

to pray for the poor, you know,
I-I prayed for the rich.

That's just the way my brain is
working these days.

I cannot believe that you would
do something so moronic.

As I said, we could all use a minute.

Let's just get a fried pie,
a couple fried marshmallows.

There's a fried butter stand
right in there. Come on.

Oh. The car.

Axl, I said we're not
talking about...

No, my paper's in that car!
My final paper I need to turn in

to pass
my stupid summer school class!

- Damn it, Axl!
- Axl, are you kidding?!

I ate unwashed fruit!

Wait!

Well, I'm not helping.

Hey! Wait!

No, I'm not gonna help go get it,

even if somebody asks me...

- Stop! Come back!
- Wait!

To.

As Sue watched the family take off,

she realized that whether
she joined us or not,

no one would notice.

The only way she was gonna
get our attention was to...

disappear.

So Sue walked the midway
for what seemed like forever,

trying to get lost,

but hoping to be found.

Hi.

Uh, my name is Sue Heck.

Has anyone tried to find me yet?

No. I don't think so.

Are you lost?

Well, no, not yet.

But probably soon.

I'll just wait over here.

So if someone was trying to find me,

this is where'd they come.
Correct?

Yes.

Okay.

Are you here
'cause you're in trouble?

Oh. No. No, no, no, no.

I-I'm a nice girl.

Oh. See?

You know, it's a really crowded fair,

so sometimes it takes them a while

to notice you're missing.

Oscar, thank God!

Oh. That was the longest
four minutes of our lives.

We don't know what we would've
done without you.

Never do that to us again.

All right. Let's get
some ice cream.

It's ringing.

If you guys are home,
um, this is Sue,

and I'm still at the fair, so...

Hi. We lost something
very important.

Our son's English paper.

It was in one of the cars
they hauled away to the dump.

We tried to chase it down,
but we couldn't catch it,

and then we went
to the demolition derby arena,

but they told us to come here.

I need that paper. I can't take
junior English a third time.

I just can't.

I'm just an hourly hire.
Sorry.

Sue, we're all tired
from running around,

but this is no time to sit.
Let's go.

With Axl's car demolished,
his paper gone,

Brick's tomato squashed,
and Sue in a dark place,

the end of summer was a bust.

There weren't enough foods on a stick

to turn this thing around.

- Anybody wanna check out the fun house?
- No.

4-H beef show?

No.

The cheesy side dish judging contest?

No.

Frankie, can we just pull
the rip cord on this thing?

Let's just admit that
our amazing summer was a bust

and hope fall is
a little kinder to us.

I was at lost and found,
and no one knew I was gone.

I just wanna go home.

Fine. I was just trying
'cause that's what you wanted.

If you're done, I'm done.
Let's just go to the car.

- Really?
- I don't believe this.

I always remember where I park.

I hope you guys are
deducting points for this.

I think it was near a white van.
Sue, do you remember?

Oh, I'm sorry.
Were you talking to me?

I'm tired and emotionally
drained. Where's the car?

I don't know. Sue was talking
a lot when we parked.

Nice going, dad.

Oh, yeah? Really?

Well, at least I got a car
to drive home in.

Oh, ho, like you've never
accidentally driven your car

into a demolition derby before.

No. You know what, Axl?
I haven't.

God, you've been so grumpy all day.

- Gee. I wonder if there's a reason why.
- I don't know what you want me to say.

I'll save up for a new car.

This isn't about the car,
Axl. This is about you.

Of course it is.

Do you realize that if you
would've gotten hurt,

you could've kissed your
football scholarship good-bye?

You gotta start being smart.

I try, but it's not that easy.

Well, I'm tired of being smart
for you.

This is your entire future here,
and you're playing games

with your report card
and almost getting killed.

You're 18. It's time for you
to start doing the thinking.

I always think I'm very responsible.

You don't know how lucky you are
to have a scholarship.

I'd have killed to play ball
in college.

He doesn't care. He has no
respect for people or produce.

Oh, that was not my fault.
All right, you blame mom

for dragging us here
in the first place.

Hey, me, your nonfavorite,

was fine with you watching TV
all summer.

He's the one that wanted you off it.

I would've preferred TV
to coming here.

Oh, you're the one
that wanted "this."

I was just trying to give it to you.

Oh, no. No, this has nothing
to do with "this."

The only reason we're here is

'cause you wanted
to suck up to Brick.

That's right. I know
all about the 20 points.

Well, I'm done with summer.

But this was supposed to be
the summer of Sue and dad!

Sue! Enough already.

I love you, damn it.
I shouldn't have to say it.

So it turnout it's impossible
to stay mad during fireworks.

You just can't.

It's literally fire in the sky.

- Oh!
- Oh!

- Ahh!
- Ahh!

- Oh, that's pretty.
- The pinwheel ones... I love those.

Me, too.

- Oh!
- Oh!

The thing is, you can't force
a great summer.

It just happens.

Wait. I think I got it.

Make sure your thumbs are right.

It's all in the thumbs.

- Hey.
- Epic.

I gotta say, of all our summers,

that one might've ended up
being my favorite.

Not that I have any favorites.

♪ Trees ♪

♪ swayin' in the summer breeze ♪

♪ showin' off their silver leaves ♪

♪ as we walked by ♪

♪ soft ♪

♪ kisses on a summer's day ♪

♪ laughin' all our cares away ♪

♪ just you and I ♪