The Mask (1995–1997): Season 3, Episode 2 - Little Big Mask - full transcript
♪
♪ I GOTCHA WITH MY
WINNING SMILE ♪
♪ I'M A LIVING LESSON
IN FLAIR AND STYLE ♪
♪ JUST CAN'T HELP BUT STARE
AT MY SAVOIR-FAIRE ♪
♪ I'M NOUVEAU DECO,
ROMAN-GRECO ♪
♪ ROCOCO
BARROCO ♪
♪ BE-BOP HIP-HIP
FLIP FLOP ♪
♪ SOMEBODY STOP ME ♪
♪ PRETTY VIRIDIAN
FACES LIKE MINE ♪
♪ DON'T COME
A DIME A DOZEN ♪
♪ I STAND OUT
OF THE CROWD ♪
♪ BABE,
WHEN THEY MADE ME ♪
♪ YEAH,
THEY BROKE THE MOLD ♪
♪ WHOLESALE AND KIND,
STAID AND REFINED ♪
♪ TOTALLY
OUT OF MY MIND ♪
♪ ARCH VILLAINS
AND NEVER DO WELLS ♪
♪ HAD BETTER LEARN
TO DECORATE PRISON CELLS ♪
♪ GREEN GOES WITH ANYTHING
IF THEY ASK, SEE ♪
♪ WELL THERE'S ONE LAST THING
I GOT TO SING ABOUT ♪
♪ OPEN UP WIDE
AND REALLY SHOUT ♪
♪ OH, LOOK OUT ♪
♪ THIS IS THE MASK ♪♪
SMOKIN'!
♪
YOU SEE?
I WAS RIGHT!
NO MATTER WHAT SIDE
YOU PUT THE PEANUT BUTTER ON,
IT ALWAYS LANDS
FACE DOWN.
♪
NOW, WHO'LL GO
DOUBLE OR NOTHING
THAT THIS JUNK WILL STICK
TO THE ROOF OF MY MOUTH?
ARE YOU MAD?
THAT PIANO WAS PRICELESS!
IT ONCE BELONG
TO LIBERACE!
ACTUALLY, IT BELONGED
TO MY BROTHER, GEORGE.
BOTTOMS UP!
♪
DOES IT TO ME
EVERY TIME.
SIR, I DON'T BELIEVE YOU
WERE INVITED TO THIS PARTY.
THIS IS A PRIVATE FUNCTION.
NO ALFRED,
THIS IS A PRIVATE FUNCTION.
♪
THIS IS A SNORE!
WELL, FOLKS,
I HATE TO EAT AND RUN,
BUT I GOT A PLANE
TO CATCH.
♪
TA TA!
GIVE MY LOVE TO THE HAMPTONS,
WON'T YOU?
UH-OH, I'VE JUST
BECOME SEPARATED.
NO STRINGS ATTACHED.
I'M ABOUT TO BECOME
PAVEMENT PATTIE!
SLAM CHOWDER!
CONCRETE MEAT!
ROAD KILL!
OH, YOU GET THE IDEA.
♪
THIS JOKER IS GETTING
TOO OLD FOR THIS.
FEELING A LITTLE FLAT TODAY,
FRIENDS?
HAS LIFE IN THE FAST LANE
GOT YOU LOOKING RUN DOWN?
IT'S LIKE HE KNOWS ME.
THEN REJUV-A-LOTION
WAS MADE FOR YOU.
GUARANTEED TO SMOOTH AWAY
THOSE AGE LINES,
CROWS FEET, AND BAGGY EYES,
BEFORE THEY SET IN.
AGE LINES?
CROWS FEET!
BAGGY EYES?
AND YOU CAN ONLY
GET IT HERE,
TONIGHT ON
AMAZING UNCOVERIES!
CONVENIENT HOW THIS PRODUCT
IS AVAILABLE NOW
WHEN I NEED IT MOST.
BUT WHO AM I
TO QUESTION THE WISDOM
OF THIS SORRY
PLOT DEVICE.
SMILING GUY GENIAL HERE,
REMINDING YOU THAT WITH NEW
REJUV-A-LOTION,
YOU'LL NOT ONLY LOOK YOUNGER,
BUT FEEL YOUNGER TOO.
♪
REJUV-A-LOTION.
MUST HAVE REJUV-A-LOTION.
♪
I SEE YOU'VE CORRECTLY CHOSEN
BRAND A.
PLEASE FEEL FREE
TO SLAP SOME MORE ON.
IF YOU SAY SO,
MORON.
LOOK AT MY FACE.
NOTHING'S HAPPENING!
I'M JUST AS OLD
AND WRINKLED AS EVER!
OH, NO.
I BEG TO DIFFER.
GOSH,
YOU LOOK YEARS YOUNGER.
DOESN'T HE LOOK YOUNGER,
FOLKS?
WELL?
ANSWER HIM!
♪
I DON'T LOOK YOUNGER, YOU.
I JUST LOOK CRAZIER!
I CAN MAKE A BETTER
REJUV-A-LOTION MYSELF!
AND WITH THAT,
HE DID.
♪
HOLD ON TO YOUR BUNS
AND BURNERS, KIDS.
MASK FACTOR
IS IN THE HOUSE!
♪
SMOKIN'.
AND WE'RE BACK!
NOW, HOLD ON TO YOUR CHECKBOOK,
FOLKS, BECAUSE IN A MOMENT,
YOU'RE ABOUT TO SEE HOW A REAL
REJUVENATION CREAM WORKS.
JUST APPLY IT LIBERALLY
TO THE AFFLICTED AREA...
♪
THEN GO FROM GEEZER
TO GAL PLEASER!
SMOKIN'!
♪
OH, BOY.
I SLEPT LIKE A BABY
LAST NIGHT.
I FEEL LIKE
A MILLION BUCKS.
HOW ABOUT YOU, BOY?
COME ON, MILO.
RISE AND SHINE.
♪
CRAZY DOG.
HE MUST STILL
BE DREAMING.
♪
ON SECOND THOUGHT,
MAYBE I'M THE ONE
WHO'S DREAMING.
WHAT HAPPENED
TO MY FACE?
MY YOUTHFUL,
PEACHES AND CREAM FACE.
BUT HOW?
WHAT'S GOING ON?
OH, MAN, WHAT'S THE MASK
DONE TO ME THIS TIME?
REJUV-A-LOTION
FOR A YOUNGER LOOKING YOU.
WELL, IT'S A YOUTH CREAM.
THE MASK'S YOUTH CREAM,
AND IT'S MADE ME
LOOK TEENAGER AGAIN.
YA-HOO!
♪
COOL!
♪
RADICAL!
HELLO, CHARLIE.
STAN.
I WON'T BE COMING IN TODAY.
YOU SEE, I'M FEELING
KIND OF PUNK.
YOUNG PUNK, THAT IS!
YEE-HAW!
HEY!
NEXT TIME, WATCH WHERE
YOU'RE GOING, JUNIOR.
YEAH, I WILL, PEGGY.
I MEAN, MS. BRANDT.
MA'AM.
STANLEY?
IS THAT YOU?
WHAT HAPPENED?
THIS HAPPENED.
REJUV-A-LOTION.
THE MASK COOKED IT UP.
IT MADE ME YOUNG AGAIN.
ISN'T IT THE COOLEST?
YEAH, BUT,
IF I DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER,
I'D SWEAR YOU WERE GETTING
YOUNGER BY THE MINUTE.
RULLY?
RULLY.
LOOK!
I AM GETTING YOUNGER!
WHAT IF IT WON'T STOP?
BUT IT HAS TO.
AT THIS RATE,
YOU'LL BE A KID IN NO TIME,
THEN A BABY,
THEN GONE.
GONE?
AS IN GONER?
♪
THERE I GO AGAIN.
OH, PEGGY,
MAKE IT STOP!
WILL YOU STOP WHINING
AND GROW UP!
OH, SURE.
RUB IT IN, WHY DON'T YOU?
LOOK,
WE CAN'T PANIC.
WE HAVE TO FIND A WAY
TO STOP THIS,
THIS REGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR
OF YOURS,
BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.
MAYBE THIS IS SOMETHING.
EDGE CITY RESEARCH LABS.
LET ME SEE THAT.
WELL THAT MUST BE WHERE THE MASK
WHIPPED UP THIS STUFF.
AND IF THE MASK WAS ABLE
TO WHIP IT UP,
WELL, THEN, MAYBE HE CAN
UNWHIP IT UP.
YOU KNOW,
MAKE AN ANECDOTE.
THAT'S YOUR PLAN?
HEY, I'M ONLY A KID.
CUT ME SOME SLACK.
I'VE BEEN THROUGH
A LOT TODAY, OKAY?
INCLUDING PUBERTY.
STANLEY,
WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
YOU HAVEN'T GOT
MUCH TIME LEFT.
YEAH, I KNOW,
BUT THE MASK IS MY ONLY HOPE,
AND I'M COUNTING
ON YOU TOO, PEGGY.
YOU GOT TO KEEP
HIM FOCUSED,
BECAUSE YOU KNOW THE MASK GETS,
LIKE, DISTRACTED AND STUFF.
OKAY, OKAY.
JUST DO IT.
OKAY.
HERE GOES NOTHING.
ALL RIGHT!
THIS TEEN
IS LEAN AND MEAN, MAN!
IT'S TIME TO PARTY!
TIME TO KICK SOME GAME!
TIME TO ROCK ON!
NOT SO FAST, YOUNG MAN.
YOU'RE COMING WITH ME.
MOM!
NOW DON'T YOU MOM ME.
YOU'VE GOT TO COME UP
WITH AN ANTIDOTE
FOR THIS CREAM,
OR ELSE.
AN OLDIE, BUT A GOODY.
HOLD STILL.
THIS ONE'S
FOR THE YEARBOOK.
MASK, PLEASE,
GET ME OUT OF HERE!
THIS IS NO TIME
TO FOOL AROUND!
TOO BAD, SO SAD,
I'M BAD!
OKAY, I'M OUT OF HERE!
FREE YA LATER!
AH, YOUTH.
TO EXPERIENCE ALL THE PLEASURES
OF LIFE FOR THE FIRST TIME.
HEARTTHROB.
♪
FIRST LOVE IS WONDERFUL,
N'EST-CE PAS?
YEAH, LIKE,
I GUESS SO.
AND SINCE THIS OUR FIRST DATE,
TIFFANY,
I WOULD LIKE TO PROPOSE A TOAST,
A FRENCH TOAST, OF COURSE.
EXCUSE ME, BUT YOU'RE ALL STICKY
AND COVERED IN BUTTER.
OUI.
AM I NOT THE SWEETEST MAN
YOU HAVE EVER SEEN?
ENOUGH!
I CAN RESIST IT NO LONGER!
NOW IS THE TIME
FOR OUR FIRST KISS.
EW!
KISS THIS, CREEP.
COOL,
OUR FIRST FIGHT.
MY FIRST ZIT!
NO WONDER SHE SPLIT.
BUT WHO CARES
ABOUT SOME STUPID GIRL, ANYWAY.
BECAUSE THEY ALL
GOT COOTIES.
THERE YOU ARE.
COME ON, WE GOT TO...
WHAT HAPPENED?
YOU'RE JUST A KID!
OH YEAH?
AND YOU'RE UGLY.
HEY, SWINGS.
LET'S PLAY!
NO, WE DON'T HAVE
TIME FOR THIS!
OH, PLEASE!
I PROMISE I'LL BE GOOD.
YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT,
YOU LITTLE LIAR?
WHAT'S THAT?
DID SOMEONE SAY HIGHER?
NO!
♪
UH-OH,
MASK GOTTA GO.
THIS IS HAPPENING
TOO FAST.
GET BACK HERE!
YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE,
MISTER.
YOU DIDN'T.
WHEN MASK GOTTA GO,
MASK GOTTA GO.
THAT DOES IT.
YOU ARE COMING WITH ME
TO THE LAB, RIGHT NOW!
BUT I DON'T WANT TO GO
TO THE LAB!
I WANT TO PWAY!
YOU CAN "PWAY"
AFTER YOU INVENT AN ANTIDOTE.
COME ON!
EXCUSE ME,
WHICH WAY IS THE RESEARCH LAB?
DOWN THAT WAY.
IT'S IN THE WEST WING.
WELL, WHY DO I HAVE TO GO
TO THE RESEARCH WAB, MOMMY?
BECAUSE I SAID SO,
THAT'S WHY.
AND STOP CALLING ME MOMMY.
SHE HURT MY ARM!
MA'AM!
I MUST TAKE ISSUE
WITH THE WAY
YOU'RE TREATING YOUR CHILD.
WHO, HIM?
BELIEVE ME,
HE'S NOT MY KID.
I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.
NEW MOTHERS OFTEN GO
THROUGH A PERIOD OF DENIAL.
YEE-HAW!
LOOK AT ME, MOMMY!
LOOK AT ME!
HE MUST BE
DELIRIOUS WITH FEVER.
COLD AND FLU SEASON,
YOU KNOW.
HEY, DOC,
THERE'S NO PAIN.
MY BACK!
IT'S CURED!
I'M CURED,
I TELL YA.
I'M CURED!
YA-HOO!
WELL,
HOW NICE FOR HIM.
YES. UNFORTUNATELY,
THAT MAN WAS HERE
TO HAVE HIS APPENDIX REMOVED.
NURSE,
GO GET HIM.
I DON'T FEEL SO GOOD,
MOMMY.
LOOK AT THAT CHILD'S
COLORING.
HOW LONG HAS HE BEEN
LIKE THIS?
AS LONG AS I'VE
KNOWN HIM.
NO BIG DEAL.
LOOK, WE REALLY
HAVE TO BE GOING.
NO BIG DEAL?
THIS CHILD IS ILL?
I'VE GOT TO CHECK
HIS TEMPERATURE.
TURN HIM OVER.
♪
ALL RIGHT,
WE'LL DO IT YOUR WAY.
♪
OH, HE'S GOT
A TEMPERATURE OF 137!
RELAX.
DOC,
IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK.
THIS A MEDICAL EMERGENCY.
ALL STAFF TO PEDIATRICS,
STAT!
BYE-BYE,
MOMMY!
BYE-BYE!
I WANT AN EKG,
AND CHECK HIS BICARB LEVELS,
AND RUN A FULL SCAN
ON HIS VITALS.
BUT DOCTOR,
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
I HAVE TO GET HIM
TO THE RESEARCH LAB.
LET'S MOVE.
WE HAVE TO SAVE THIS CHILD!
YEAH, BUT WHO'S
GOING TO SAVE STANLEY?
BECAUSE IF THIS TAKES
MUCH LONGER,
THERE'S NOT GOING TO BE
ANY STANLEY LEFT TO SAVE.
THIS IS AN EMERGENCY,
PEOPLE.
WE'VE GOT A REAL SICK BOY
ON OUR HANDS!
HANG IN THERE,
LITTLE GUY.
WE'RE GOING TO RUN
SOME TESTS.
FIRST WE'LL CHECK
YOUR HEART RATE.
♪
MASK HERE!
NEVER FEAR!
STOP THAT!
THIS IS NO GAME.
IT IS TOO!
IT IS NOT!
-IS TOO!
-IS NOT!
-IS TOO! IS TOO!
-IS NOT!
I REPEAT,
IT IS TOO!
IS NOT!
YOU ARE SUCH
A LITTLE BRAT!
I KNOW YOU ARE,
BUT WHAT AM I?
I CAN'T LET THIS
GET TO ME.
I'M A HEALTHCARE
PROFESSIONAL.
I'M A HEALTHCARE
PROFESSIONAL.
-DON'T DO THAT.
-DON'T DO THAT.
-STOP IT!
-STOP IT!
QUIT REPEATING
EVERYTHING I SAY!
QUIT REPEATING
EVERYTHING I SAY!
LET ME AT HIM!
I'M GOING TO SAVE
THAT KID,
EVEN IF IT KILLS HIM!
SHE'S SCARING ME.
MAMA!
DON'T LET HIM
GET AWAY!
THAT CHILD IS DELIRIOUS
WITH FEVER!
RUN, RUN,
AS FAST AS YOU CAN!
YOU CAN'T CATCH ME,
I'M THE SUGAR BREAD MAN.
I SEE LONDON,
I SEE FRANCE,
I CAN SEE RIGHT THROUGH
YOUR PANTS,
AND SKIN,
AND VITAL ORGANS,
AND...UNDIES!
FOR ME?
BUT I DIDN'T GET
YOU ANYTHING.
♪
DOCTOR, LISTEN.
WE'RE REALLY STRAPPED
FOR TIME HERE.
HOW MUCH LONGER
IS THIS GOING TO TAKE?
IT'S HARD TO SAY.
THE ORDERLIES
ARE PREPPING HIM NOW.
♪
THAT'LL LEAVE A MARK.
I FELL ON MY KEYS.
THIS IS A TOUGH CASE.
YOUR SON IS DELUSIONAL,
COMBATIVE, AND HYPERACTIVE.
TELL ME SOMETHING
I DON'T KNOW.
THE LAMBS,
CLARICE,
THE LAMBS.
HIS CONDITIONS
IS GETTING WORSE.
WE'LL HAVE TO KEEP HIM OVERNIGHT
FOR OBSERVATION.
BUT...HE WON'T
LAST OVERNIGHT.
♪
MORE, MORE, MORE!
OKAY,
IT'S 11 O'CLOCK.
THE PLACE IS
PRETTY MUCH EMPTY.
IF WE'RE GOING TO GET YOU
INTO THE LAB,
IT HAS GOT TO BE NOW.
WHAT?
AND MISS LETTERMAN?
I DON'T THINK SO!
UH-OH.
YOU SEE!
DON'T YOU GET IT?
IF WE DON'T DO
SOMETHING FAST,
YOU'RE GOING TO GO
BYE-BYE FOR GOOD.
MASK GO BYE-BYE?
I DON'T THINK SO.
♪
ARE YOU SURE YOU KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE DOING?
WE NEED AN ANTIDOTE
FOR THE CREAM,
NOT BABY FORMULA.
AM I NOT THE ONE
TRUE BRAIN CHILD?
♪
A LITTLE POWDER
FOR FLAVOR.
SHAKE, AND VOILA!
THE ANTIDOTE!
SHE IS DONE, MAMA!
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?
THIS PLACE IS RESTRICTED.
MY SON
IS VERY SICK.
HE'S SO DELUSIONAL
THAT HE WONDERED OFF.
MOMMY, CAN I OPEN
MY PRESENTS NOW?
WELL, IT'S A GOOD THING
WE FOUND HIM,
BECAUSE THIS STUFF
IS REALLY DANGEROUS.
FOLLOW ME, PLEASE.
I'LL TAKE YOU
BACK TO YOUR ROOM.
GEE, DOCTOR, DO YOU REALLY
THINK THIS IS NECESSARY?
IN MY PROFESSIONAL OPINION,
IT'S ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY.
♪
WE CAN'T AFFORD ANY FURTHER
TRAUMA TO THE PATIENT...
OR THE STAFF.
SO WE'LL BE KEEPING HIM UNDER
CLOSE OBSERVATION UNTIL MORNING.
BUT DOCTOR, HE HASN'T
GOT THAT MUCH TIME.
THE BEST THING YOU CAN DO
IS GET SOME REST,
AND STOP WORRYING.
YOUR SON
IS IN GOOD HANDS.
STANLEY,
COME BACK.
DON'T GO.
NO.
NO!
I MUST HAVE DOSED OFF.
STANLEY?
STANLEY.
STANLEY!
I'M COMING,
STANLEY!
MAMA'S HERE,
BABY!
OH, NO.
I'M TOO LATE.
HE'S GONE.
I'M SORRY,
STANLEY!
I DID MY BEST!
I TRIED!
I'M SO SORRY!
GOOD MORNING,
MS. BRANDT.
HAVE YOU HEARD?
YOUR SON HAS MADE
A COMPLETE RECOVERY.
HE ALSO MADE A BOO-BOO,
DIDN'T YOU?
REALLY?
HE'S OKAY?
HE'S...
STANLEY?
AMAZING,
ISN'T IT?
HE WAS LIKE THIS
WHEN I ARRIVED THIS MORNING.
HE'S LOST A LOT OF WEIGHT
SINCE YESTERDAY,
BUT WITH PROPER CARE,
YOU SHOULD HAVE HIM BACK
TO NORMAL IN NO TIME.
EASY FOR YOU TO SAY.
OH BY THE WAY,
YOU REALLY SHOULD LOOK
INTO A MORE SUITABLE
TOY FOR STANLEY.
THIS DIRTY OLD THING
CAN'T BE GOOD FOR HIM.
YOU DON'T KNOW
THE HALF OF IT, LADY.
RIGHT, STANLEY?
OH, EVEN IF YOU WANTED
TO USE THIS DARN THING,
IT WOULDN'T DO YOU
ANY GOOD NOW.
OH, YOU'RE FADING AWAY
RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME,
AND THERE'S NOTHING
I CAN DO BUT WATCH!
♪
STANLEY,
STOP THAT!
WAIT A MINUTE.
ALL THIS TIME,
WE'VE OVERLOOKED THE OBVIOUS.
INSTEAD OF TRYING
TO MAKE AN ANTIDOTE,
WHY NOT JUST WIPE
THE CREAM OFF?
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
NOTHING.
WELL, I GUESS
THAT'S IT THEN.
DON'T BE SAD,
PEGGY.
YOU DID GOOD!
NO, I DIDN'T,
STANLEY.
I...
CAN'T YOU SEE?
IT'S WORKING.
RADICAL!
IT'S WORKING?
OH, I'M STOKED!
STANLEY,
YOU'RE BACK!
IN THE FLESH.
OH, THANKS, PEGGY.
YOU'RE THE BEST.
YOU LOOK SO GOOD!
HI, THERE.
THIS IS THE EXPERIMENTAL
DIAPER PROCEDURE.
BRILLIANT.
YEAH, YEAH.
AND IT'S MADE
A NEW MAN OUT OF ME.
BYE.
WHEW,
I TELL YOU, PEG,
IT IS GREAT TO BE
MY OLD SELF AGAIN.
I'M GLAD THAT'S OVER.
YOU AND ME BOTH.
I'M GETTING TOO OLD
FOR THIS STUFF.
THEN REJUV-A-LOTION
IS THE THING FOR YOU!
LISTEN, MAYBE YOU'D LIKE
TO SHAVE A FEW YEARS
OFF THAT ALREADY YOUTHFUL
APPEARANCE, HUH, PEG?
RIGHT, STANLEY.
I WISH.
REALLY?
WELL, YOU KNOW
THE OLD SAYING, PEG.
♪
BE CAREFUL
WHAT YOU WISH FOR.
NO, DON'T.
STOP IT, MASK!
STOP IT!
OH, THIS IS JUST GREAT.
NOW LOOK WHAT...
YOU'VE DONE.
YOU DO HAVE LOTS OF BABY WIPES
ON HAND, RIGHT?
THEN IN THAT CASE,
SOMEBODY STOP ME!
HEY,
WHAT'S YOUR HURRY?
THE NIGHT IS YOUNG,
AND SO ARE WE!
SMOKIN', DUDE!
♪
♪ I GOTCHA WITH MY
WINNING SMILE ♪
♪ I'M A LIVING LESSON
IN FLAIR AND STYLE ♪
♪ JUST CAN'T HELP BUT STARE
AT MY SAVOIR-FAIRE ♪
♪ I'M NOUVEAU DECO,
ROMAN-GRECO ♪
♪ ROCOCO
BARROCO ♪
♪ BE-BOP HIP-HIP
FLIP FLOP ♪
♪ SOMEBODY STOP ME ♪
♪ PRETTY VIRIDIAN
FACES LIKE MINE ♪
♪ DON'T COME
A DIME A DOZEN ♪
♪ I STAND OUT
OF THE CROWD ♪
♪ BABE,
WHEN THEY MADE ME ♪
♪ YEAH,
THEY BROKE THE MOLD ♪
♪ WHOLESALE AND KIND,
STAID AND REFINED ♪
♪ TOTALLY
OUT OF MY MIND ♪
♪ ARCH VILLAINS
AND NEVER DO WELLS ♪
♪ HAD BETTER LEARN
TO DECORATE PRISON CELLS ♪
♪ GREEN GOES WITH ANYTHING
IF THEY ASK, SEE ♪
♪ WELL THERE'S ONE LAST THING
I GOT TO SING ABOUT ♪
♪ OPEN UP WIDE
AND REALLY SHOUT ♪
♪ OH, LOOK OUT ♪
♪ THIS IS THE MASK ♪♪
SMOKIN'!
♪
YOU SEE?
I WAS RIGHT!
NO MATTER WHAT SIDE
YOU PUT THE PEANUT BUTTER ON,
IT ALWAYS LANDS
FACE DOWN.
♪
NOW, WHO'LL GO
DOUBLE OR NOTHING
THAT THIS JUNK WILL STICK
TO THE ROOF OF MY MOUTH?
ARE YOU MAD?
THAT PIANO WAS PRICELESS!
IT ONCE BELONG
TO LIBERACE!
ACTUALLY, IT BELONGED
TO MY BROTHER, GEORGE.
BOTTOMS UP!
♪
DOES IT TO ME
EVERY TIME.
SIR, I DON'T BELIEVE YOU
WERE INVITED TO THIS PARTY.
THIS IS A PRIVATE FUNCTION.
NO ALFRED,
THIS IS A PRIVATE FUNCTION.
♪
THIS IS A SNORE!
WELL, FOLKS,
I HATE TO EAT AND RUN,
BUT I GOT A PLANE
TO CATCH.
♪
TA TA!
GIVE MY LOVE TO THE HAMPTONS,
WON'T YOU?
UH-OH, I'VE JUST
BECOME SEPARATED.
NO STRINGS ATTACHED.
I'M ABOUT TO BECOME
PAVEMENT PATTIE!
SLAM CHOWDER!
CONCRETE MEAT!
ROAD KILL!
OH, YOU GET THE IDEA.
♪
THIS JOKER IS GETTING
TOO OLD FOR THIS.
FEELING A LITTLE FLAT TODAY,
FRIENDS?
HAS LIFE IN THE FAST LANE
GOT YOU LOOKING RUN DOWN?
IT'S LIKE HE KNOWS ME.
THEN REJUV-A-LOTION
WAS MADE FOR YOU.
GUARANTEED TO SMOOTH AWAY
THOSE AGE LINES,
CROWS FEET, AND BAGGY EYES,
BEFORE THEY SET IN.
AGE LINES?
CROWS FEET!
BAGGY EYES?
AND YOU CAN ONLY
GET IT HERE,
TONIGHT ON
AMAZING UNCOVERIES!
CONVENIENT HOW THIS PRODUCT
IS AVAILABLE NOW
WHEN I NEED IT MOST.
BUT WHO AM I
TO QUESTION THE WISDOM
OF THIS SORRY
PLOT DEVICE.
SMILING GUY GENIAL HERE,
REMINDING YOU THAT WITH NEW
REJUV-A-LOTION,
YOU'LL NOT ONLY LOOK YOUNGER,
BUT FEEL YOUNGER TOO.
♪
REJUV-A-LOTION.
MUST HAVE REJUV-A-LOTION.
♪
I SEE YOU'VE CORRECTLY CHOSEN
BRAND A.
PLEASE FEEL FREE
TO SLAP SOME MORE ON.
IF YOU SAY SO,
MORON.
LOOK AT MY FACE.
NOTHING'S HAPPENING!
I'M JUST AS OLD
AND WRINKLED AS EVER!
OH, NO.
I BEG TO DIFFER.
GOSH,
YOU LOOK YEARS YOUNGER.
DOESN'T HE LOOK YOUNGER,
FOLKS?
WELL?
ANSWER HIM!
♪
I DON'T LOOK YOUNGER, YOU.
I JUST LOOK CRAZIER!
I CAN MAKE A BETTER
REJUV-A-LOTION MYSELF!
AND WITH THAT,
HE DID.
♪
HOLD ON TO YOUR BUNS
AND BURNERS, KIDS.
MASK FACTOR
IS IN THE HOUSE!
♪
SMOKIN'.
AND WE'RE BACK!
NOW, HOLD ON TO YOUR CHECKBOOK,
FOLKS, BECAUSE IN A MOMENT,
YOU'RE ABOUT TO SEE HOW A REAL
REJUVENATION CREAM WORKS.
JUST APPLY IT LIBERALLY
TO THE AFFLICTED AREA...
♪
THEN GO FROM GEEZER
TO GAL PLEASER!
SMOKIN'!
♪
OH, BOY.
I SLEPT LIKE A BABY
LAST NIGHT.
I FEEL LIKE
A MILLION BUCKS.
HOW ABOUT YOU, BOY?
COME ON, MILO.
RISE AND SHINE.
♪
CRAZY DOG.
HE MUST STILL
BE DREAMING.
♪
ON SECOND THOUGHT,
MAYBE I'M THE ONE
WHO'S DREAMING.
WHAT HAPPENED
TO MY FACE?
MY YOUTHFUL,
PEACHES AND CREAM FACE.
BUT HOW?
WHAT'S GOING ON?
OH, MAN, WHAT'S THE MASK
DONE TO ME THIS TIME?
REJUV-A-LOTION
FOR A YOUNGER LOOKING YOU.
WELL, IT'S A YOUTH CREAM.
THE MASK'S YOUTH CREAM,
AND IT'S MADE ME
LOOK TEENAGER AGAIN.
YA-HOO!
♪
COOL!
♪
RADICAL!
HELLO, CHARLIE.
STAN.
I WON'T BE COMING IN TODAY.
YOU SEE, I'M FEELING
KIND OF PUNK.
YOUNG PUNK, THAT IS!
YEE-HAW!
HEY!
NEXT TIME, WATCH WHERE
YOU'RE GOING, JUNIOR.
YEAH, I WILL, PEGGY.
I MEAN, MS. BRANDT.
MA'AM.
STANLEY?
IS THAT YOU?
WHAT HAPPENED?
THIS HAPPENED.
REJUV-A-LOTION.
THE MASK COOKED IT UP.
IT MADE ME YOUNG AGAIN.
ISN'T IT THE COOLEST?
YEAH, BUT,
IF I DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER,
I'D SWEAR YOU WERE GETTING
YOUNGER BY THE MINUTE.
RULLY?
RULLY.
LOOK!
I AM GETTING YOUNGER!
WHAT IF IT WON'T STOP?
BUT IT HAS TO.
AT THIS RATE,
YOU'LL BE A KID IN NO TIME,
THEN A BABY,
THEN GONE.
GONE?
AS IN GONER?
♪
THERE I GO AGAIN.
OH, PEGGY,
MAKE IT STOP!
WILL YOU STOP WHINING
AND GROW UP!
OH, SURE.
RUB IT IN, WHY DON'T YOU?
LOOK,
WE CAN'T PANIC.
WE HAVE TO FIND A WAY
TO STOP THIS,
THIS REGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR
OF YOURS,
BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.
MAYBE THIS IS SOMETHING.
EDGE CITY RESEARCH LABS.
LET ME SEE THAT.
WELL THAT MUST BE WHERE THE MASK
WHIPPED UP THIS STUFF.
AND IF THE MASK WAS ABLE
TO WHIP IT UP,
WELL, THEN, MAYBE HE CAN
UNWHIP IT UP.
YOU KNOW,
MAKE AN ANECDOTE.
THAT'S YOUR PLAN?
HEY, I'M ONLY A KID.
CUT ME SOME SLACK.
I'VE BEEN THROUGH
A LOT TODAY, OKAY?
INCLUDING PUBERTY.
STANLEY,
WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
YOU HAVEN'T GOT
MUCH TIME LEFT.
YEAH, I KNOW,
BUT THE MASK IS MY ONLY HOPE,
AND I'M COUNTING
ON YOU TOO, PEGGY.
YOU GOT TO KEEP
HIM FOCUSED,
BECAUSE YOU KNOW THE MASK GETS,
LIKE, DISTRACTED AND STUFF.
OKAY, OKAY.
JUST DO IT.
OKAY.
HERE GOES NOTHING.
ALL RIGHT!
THIS TEEN
IS LEAN AND MEAN, MAN!
IT'S TIME TO PARTY!
TIME TO KICK SOME GAME!
TIME TO ROCK ON!
NOT SO FAST, YOUNG MAN.
YOU'RE COMING WITH ME.
MOM!
NOW DON'T YOU MOM ME.
YOU'VE GOT TO COME UP
WITH AN ANTIDOTE
FOR THIS CREAM,
OR ELSE.
AN OLDIE, BUT A GOODY.
HOLD STILL.
THIS ONE'S
FOR THE YEARBOOK.
MASK, PLEASE,
GET ME OUT OF HERE!
THIS IS NO TIME
TO FOOL AROUND!
TOO BAD, SO SAD,
I'M BAD!
OKAY, I'M OUT OF HERE!
FREE YA LATER!
AH, YOUTH.
TO EXPERIENCE ALL THE PLEASURES
OF LIFE FOR THE FIRST TIME.
HEARTTHROB.
♪
FIRST LOVE IS WONDERFUL,
N'EST-CE PAS?
YEAH, LIKE,
I GUESS SO.
AND SINCE THIS OUR FIRST DATE,
TIFFANY,
I WOULD LIKE TO PROPOSE A TOAST,
A FRENCH TOAST, OF COURSE.
EXCUSE ME, BUT YOU'RE ALL STICKY
AND COVERED IN BUTTER.
OUI.
AM I NOT THE SWEETEST MAN
YOU HAVE EVER SEEN?
ENOUGH!
I CAN RESIST IT NO LONGER!
NOW IS THE TIME
FOR OUR FIRST KISS.
EW!
KISS THIS, CREEP.
COOL,
OUR FIRST FIGHT.
MY FIRST ZIT!
NO WONDER SHE SPLIT.
BUT WHO CARES
ABOUT SOME STUPID GIRL, ANYWAY.
BECAUSE THEY ALL
GOT COOTIES.
THERE YOU ARE.
COME ON, WE GOT TO...
WHAT HAPPENED?
YOU'RE JUST A KID!
OH YEAH?
AND YOU'RE UGLY.
HEY, SWINGS.
LET'S PLAY!
NO, WE DON'T HAVE
TIME FOR THIS!
OH, PLEASE!
I PROMISE I'LL BE GOOD.
YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT,
YOU LITTLE LIAR?
WHAT'S THAT?
DID SOMEONE SAY HIGHER?
NO!
♪
UH-OH,
MASK GOTTA GO.
THIS IS HAPPENING
TOO FAST.
GET BACK HERE!
YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE,
MISTER.
YOU DIDN'T.
WHEN MASK GOTTA GO,
MASK GOTTA GO.
THAT DOES IT.
YOU ARE COMING WITH ME
TO THE LAB, RIGHT NOW!
BUT I DON'T WANT TO GO
TO THE LAB!
I WANT TO PWAY!
YOU CAN "PWAY"
AFTER YOU INVENT AN ANTIDOTE.
COME ON!
EXCUSE ME,
WHICH WAY IS THE RESEARCH LAB?
DOWN THAT WAY.
IT'S IN THE WEST WING.
WELL, WHY DO I HAVE TO GO
TO THE RESEARCH WAB, MOMMY?
BECAUSE I SAID SO,
THAT'S WHY.
AND STOP CALLING ME MOMMY.
SHE HURT MY ARM!
MA'AM!
I MUST TAKE ISSUE
WITH THE WAY
YOU'RE TREATING YOUR CHILD.
WHO, HIM?
BELIEVE ME,
HE'S NOT MY KID.
I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.
NEW MOTHERS OFTEN GO
THROUGH A PERIOD OF DENIAL.
YEE-HAW!
LOOK AT ME, MOMMY!
LOOK AT ME!
HE MUST BE
DELIRIOUS WITH FEVER.
COLD AND FLU SEASON,
YOU KNOW.
HEY, DOC,
THERE'S NO PAIN.
MY BACK!
IT'S CURED!
I'M CURED,
I TELL YA.
I'M CURED!
YA-HOO!
WELL,
HOW NICE FOR HIM.
YES. UNFORTUNATELY,
THAT MAN WAS HERE
TO HAVE HIS APPENDIX REMOVED.
NURSE,
GO GET HIM.
I DON'T FEEL SO GOOD,
MOMMY.
LOOK AT THAT CHILD'S
COLORING.
HOW LONG HAS HE BEEN
LIKE THIS?
AS LONG AS I'VE
KNOWN HIM.
NO BIG DEAL.
LOOK, WE REALLY
HAVE TO BE GOING.
NO BIG DEAL?
THIS CHILD IS ILL?
I'VE GOT TO CHECK
HIS TEMPERATURE.
TURN HIM OVER.
♪
ALL RIGHT,
WE'LL DO IT YOUR WAY.
♪
OH, HE'S GOT
A TEMPERATURE OF 137!
RELAX.
DOC,
IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK.
THIS A MEDICAL EMERGENCY.
ALL STAFF TO PEDIATRICS,
STAT!
BYE-BYE,
MOMMY!
BYE-BYE!
I WANT AN EKG,
AND CHECK HIS BICARB LEVELS,
AND RUN A FULL SCAN
ON HIS VITALS.
BUT DOCTOR,
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
I HAVE TO GET HIM
TO THE RESEARCH LAB.
LET'S MOVE.
WE HAVE TO SAVE THIS CHILD!
YEAH, BUT WHO'S
GOING TO SAVE STANLEY?
BECAUSE IF THIS TAKES
MUCH LONGER,
THERE'S NOT GOING TO BE
ANY STANLEY LEFT TO SAVE.
THIS IS AN EMERGENCY,
PEOPLE.
WE'VE GOT A REAL SICK BOY
ON OUR HANDS!
HANG IN THERE,
LITTLE GUY.
WE'RE GOING TO RUN
SOME TESTS.
FIRST WE'LL CHECK
YOUR HEART RATE.
♪
MASK HERE!
NEVER FEAR!
STOP THAT!
THIS IS NO GAME.
IT IS TOO!
IT IS NOT!
-IS TOO!
-IS NOT!
-IS TOO! IS TOO!
-IS NOT!
I REPEAT,
IT IS TOO!
IS NOT!
YOU ARE SUCH
A LITTLE BRAT!
I KNOW YOU ARE,
BUT WHAT AM I?
I CAN'T LET THIS
GET TO ME.
I'M A HEALTHCARE
PROFESSIONAL.
I'M A HEALTHCARE
PROFESSIONAL.
-DON'T DO THAT.
-DON'T DO THAT.
-STOP IT!
-STOP IT!
QUIT REPEATING
EVERYTHING I SAY!
QUIT REPEATING
EVERYTHING I SAY!
LET ME AT HIM!
I'M GOING TO SAVE
THAT KID,
EVEN IF IT KILLS HIM!
SHE'S SCARING ME.
MAMA!
DON'T LET HIM
GET AWAY!
THAT CHILD IS DELIRIOUS
WITH FEVER!
RUN, RUN,
AS FAST AS YOU CAN!
YOU CAN'T CATCH ME,
I'M THE SUGAR BREAD MAN.
I SEE LONDON,
I SEE FRANCE,
I CAN SEE RIGHT THROUGH
YOUR PANTS,
AND SKIN,
AND VITAL ORGANS,
AND...UNDIES!
FOR ME?
BUT I DIDN'T GET
YOU ANYTHING.
♪
DOCTOR, LISTEN.
WE'RE REALLY STRAPPED
FOR TIME HERE.
HOW MUCH LONGER
IS THIS GOING TO TAKE?
IT'S HARD TO SAY.
THE ORDERLIES
ARE PREPPING HIM NOW.
♪
THAT'LL LEAVE A MARK.
I FELL ON MY KEYS.
THIS IS A TOUGH CASE.
YOUR SON IS DELUSIONAL,
COMBATIVE, AND HYPERACTIVE.
TELL ME SOMETHING
I DON'T KNOW.
THE LAMBS,
CLARICE,
THE LAMBS.
HIS CONDITIONS
IS GETTING WORSE.
WE'LL HAVE TO KEEP HIM OVERNIGHT
FOR OBSERVATION.
BUT...HE WON'T
LAST OVERNIGHT.
♪
MORE, MORE, MORE!
OKAY,
IT'S 11 O'CLOCK.
THE PLACE IS
PRETTY MUCH EMPTY.
IF WE'RE GOING TO GET YOU
INTO THE LAB,
IT HAS GOT TO BE NOW.
WHAT?
AND MISS LETTERMAN?
I DON'T THINK SO!
UH-OH.
YOU SEE!
DON'T YOU GET IT?
IF WE DON'T DO
SOMETHING FAST,
YOU'RE GOING TO GO
BYE-BYE FOR GOOD.
MASK GO BYE-BYE?
I DON'T THINK SO.
♪
ARE YOU SURE YOU KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE DOING?
WE NEED AN ANTIDOTE
FOR THE CREAM,
NOT BABY FORMULA.
AM I NOT THE ONE
TRUE BRAIN CHILD?
♪
A LITTLE POWDER
FOR FLAVOR.
SHAKE, AND VOILA!
THE ANTIDOTE!
SHE IS DONE, MAMA!
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?
THIS PLACE IS RESTRICTED.
MY SON
IS VERY SICK.
HE'S SO DELUSIONAL
THAT HE WONDERED OFF.
MOMMY, CAN I OPEN
MY PRESENTS NOW?
WELL, IT'S A GOOD THING
WE FOUND HIM,
BECAUSE THIS STUFF
IS REALLY DANGEROUS.
FOLLOW ME, PLEASE.
I'LL TAKE YOU
BACK TO YOUR ROOM.
GEE, DOCTOR, DO YOU REALLY
THINK THIS IS NECESSARY?
IN MY PROFESSIONAL OPINION,
IT'S ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY.
♪
WE CAN'T AFFORD ANY FURTHER
TRAUMA TO THE PATIENT...
OR THE STAFF.
SO WE'LL BE KEEPING HIM UNDER
CLOSE OBSERVATION UNTIL MORNING.
BUT DOCTOR, HE HASN'T
GOT THAT MUCH TIME.
THE BEST THING YOU CAN DO
IS GET SOME REST,
AND STOP WORRYING.
YOUR SON
IS IN GOOD HANDS.
STANLEY,
COME BACK.
DON'T GO.
NO.
NO!
I MUST HAVE DOSED OFF.
STANLEY?
STANLEY.
STANLEY!
I'M COMING,
STANLEY!
MAMA'S HERE,
BABY!
OH, NO.
I'M TOO LATE.
HE'S GONE.
I'M SORRY,
STANLEY!
I DID MY BEST!
I TRIED!
I'M SO SORRY!
GOOD MORNING,
MS. BRANDT.
HAVE YOU HEARD?
YOUR SON HAS MADE
A COMPLETE RECOVERY.
HE ALSO MADE A BOO-BOO,
DIDN'T YOU?
REALLY?
HE'S OKAY?
HE'S...
STANLEY?
AMAZING,
ISN'T IT?
HE WAS LIKE THIS
WHEN I ARRIVED THIS MORNING.
HE'S LOST A LOT OF WEIGHT
SINCE YESTERDAY,
BUT WITH PROPER CARE,
YOU SHOULD HAVE HIM BACK
TO NORMAL IN NO TIME.
EASY FOR YOU TO SAY.
OH BY THE WAY,
YOU REALLY SHOULD LOOK
INTO A MORE SUITABLE
TOY FOR STANLEY.
THIS DIRTY OLD THING
CAN'T BE GOOD FOR HIM.
YOU DON'T KNOW
THE HALF OF IT, LADY.
RIGHT, STANLEY?
OH, EVEN IF YOU WANTED
TO USE THIS DARN THING,
IT WOULDN'T DO YOU
ANY GOOD NOW.
OH, YOU'RE FADING AWAY
RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME,
AND THERE'S NOTHING
I CAN DO BUT WATCH!
♪
STANLEY,
STOP THAT!
WAIT A MINUTE.
ALL THIS TIME,
WE'VE OVERLOOKED THE OBVIOUS.
INSTEAD OF TRYING
TO MAKE AN ANTIDOTE,
WHY NOT JUST WIPE
THE CREAM OFF?
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
NOTHING.
WELL, I GUESS
THAT'S IT THEN.
DON'T BE SAD,
PEGGY.
YOU DID GOOD!
NO, I DIDN'T,
STANLEY.
I...
CAN'T YOU SEE?
IT'S WORKING.
RADICAL!
IT'S WORKING?
OH, I'M STOKED!
STANLEY,
YOU'RE BACK!
IN THE FLESH.
OH, THANKS, PEGGY.
YOU'RE THE BEST.
YOU LOOK SO GOOD!
HI, THERE.
THIS IS THE EXPERIMENTAL
DIAPER PROCEDURE.
BRILLIANT.
YEAH, YEAH.
AND IT'S MADE
A NEW MAN OUT OF ME.
BYE.
WHEW,
I TELL YOU, PEG,
IT IS GREAT TO BE
MY OLD SELF AGAIN.
I'M GLAD THAT'S OVER.
YOU AND ME BOTH.
I'M GETTING TOO OLD
FOR THIS STUFF.
THEN REJUV-A-LOTION
IS THE THING FOR YOU!
LISTEN, MAYBE YOU'D LIKE
TO SHAVE A FEW YEARS
OFF THAT ALREADY YOUTHFUL
APPEARANCE, HUH, PEG?
RIGHT, STANLEY.
I WISH.
REALLY?
WELL, YOU KNOW
THE OLD SAYING, PEG.
♪
BE CAREFUL
WHAT YOU WISH FOR.
NO, DON'T.
STOP IT, MASK!
STOP IT!
OH, THIS IS JUST GREAT.
NOW LOOK WHAT...
YOU'VE DONE.
YOU DO HAVE LOTS OF BABY WIPES
ON HAND, RIGHT?
THEN IN THAT CASE,
SOMEBODY STOP ME!
HEY,
WHAT'S YOUR HURRY?
THE NIGHT IS YOUNG,
AND SO ARE WE!
SMOKIN', DUDE!
♪