The Mask (1995–1997): Season 2, Episode 27 - Mutiny of the Bounty Hunters - full transcript
♪
♪ I GOTCHA
WITH MY WINNIN' SMILE ♪
♪ I'M A LIVING LESSON
IN FLAIR AND STYLE ♪
♪ YOU JUST CAN'T HELP
BUT STARE AT MY SAVOIR-FAIRE ♪
♪ I'M NOUVEAU, DECO,
ROMAN-GRECO, ROCOCO, BARROCO ♪
♪ BE-BOP, HIP-HOP, FLIP-FLOP,
SOMEBODY STOP ME ♪
♪ PRETTY VIRIDIAN FACES
LIKE MINE ♪
♪ DON'T COME
A DIME A DOZEN ♪
♪ I STAND OUT OF THE CROWD ♪
♪ BABE, WHEN THEY MADE ME, YEAH,
THEY BROKE THE MOLD ♪
♪ WHOLESOME AND KIND,
STAID AND REFINED ♪
♪ TOTALLY OUT OF MY MIND ♪
♪ ARCH-VILLAINS
AND NE'ER-DO-WELLS ♪
♪ HAD BETTER LEARN
TO DECORATE PRISON CELLS ♪
♪ GREEN GOES WITH ANYTHING
IF THEY ASK, SEE ♪
♪ WELL, THERE'S ONE LAST THING
I GOTTA SING ABOUT ♪
♪ OPEN UP WIDE
AND REALLY SHOUT ♪
♪ OH, LOOK OUT ♪
♪ THIS IS THE MASK ♪♪
SMOKIN'!
AHA,
BREE-HEE-HEE!
ABOOM-CHICKA,
BOOM-CHICKA,
BOOM, BOOM,
BOOM!
WOO!
AND WHAT
A PARTAY IT WAS!
HEY!
♪
YOU SHOULD'VE
BEEN THERE, PAL.
♪
WHAT A WUSS.
SPEAKIN' OF WUSSES,
TIME FOR MY MAN'S BEDDY-BYE.
♪
OH, MAN,
AM I BUSHED.
I, I NEED SOME SLEEP.
♪
IT'S A GOOD THING
IT'S THE WEEKEND.
I DON'T HAVE
TO BE UP UNTIL NOON.
♪
WHAT WAS THAT?
STANLEY, YOU KNOW HOW YOU'VE
ALWAYS PROMISED YOU'D BABYSIT
BABY FOR ME
WHENEVER I NEED YOU TO,
AND HOW I'VE NEVER
TAKEN YOU UP ON IT?
I HAVE?
YOU HA...,
YOU HAVEN'T WHAT?
WELL, HARDLY EVER,
BUT NOW I'M DESPERATE.
I NEED YOU
TO TAKE CARE
OF THE LITTLE DARLIN'
FOR ME.
I'M GOING
TO ACAPULCO
FOR THE WHOLE WEEKEND
TO CELEBRATE
WITH MY DARLIN' HUBBY, CLEM.
HE'S JUST BECOME
MR. INTERNATIONAL BOWLER.
♪
THE WHOLE WEEKEND?
OH MY,
LOOK AT THE TIME!
OH, I'D LOVE TO CHITCHAT,
BUT I'M LATE
FOR MY PLANE!
OH, BABY, YOU BEHAVE
FOR STANLEY NOW.
OH, WHAT A GOOD BOY
YOU ARE, STANLEY.
REMEMBER,
PUREED BANANAS ARE IN,
SPINACH IS OUT,
BATH TIME'S AT SIX,
NO TV PAST SEVEN,
AND LIGHTS OUT BY EIGHT,
AND NO CARTOONS!
OH, I NEARLY FORGOT.
I NEED YOU TO TAKE CARE OF OUR
PET BIRDY, SNAPPER, TOO.
YOU'RE A GEM, STANLEY,
SEE YA MONDAY!
♪
SLOBBERY, OH.
PAIN IS THE ENEMY.
I MUST LEARN
TO CONQUER IT.
ONCE I HAVE DONE THAT,
NO FORCE OF NATURE,
NO WEAPONS SYSTEM
SHALL BE ABLE TO PREVENT
MY INEVITABLE CONQUEST
OF THE WORLD.
♪
MY SUPERIOR INTELLECT
SHOULD EASILY ALLOW ME
TO WITHSTAND THE PAIN
I'M ABOUT TO INFLICT
UPON MY BODY.
HUH?
♪
USELESS!
THE PAIN STILL
SEEPS THROUGH!
♪
THE ONLY ONE
WHO APPARENTLY SUFFERS
NO PAIN AT ALL
IS THAT PATHETIC MASK!
I MUST HAVE HIM
TO STUDY!
BUT BOSS,
YOU'VE NEVER BEEN ABLE
TO CATCH THE MASK.
THANK YOU
FOR REMINDING ME.
PERHAPS YOU'D LIKE
TO EXPERIENCE SOME PAIN
YOURSELF, HMM?
NO, NO.
THAT'S OKAY.
OH, BUT I SUPPOSE
YOU DO HAVE A POINT.
PERHAPS I'VE BEEN
TOO SUBTLE
IN MY APPROACH.
YES!
I SHALL UNLEASH
THE CITY'S
UNDERWORLD RABBLE UPON
THAT GREEN-FACED BOOR!
SPREAD THE WORD
THROUGHOUT
THE CRIMINAL GRAPEVINE!
LET EVERY
LOWLIFE HOOD KNOW
THAT I'M OFFERING...
A MILLION DOLLAR REWARD?
YEAH, THAT'S WHAT
THEY SAID, ALL RIGHT,
AND ALL WE GOTTA DO
IS CATCH THE MASK.
♪
I'M SO SLEEPY.
NO, I GOTTA STAY AWAKE!
I CAN'T...
I CAN'T GO TO SLEEP.
♪
OH, BIRDY.
BIRDY.
♪
BIRDY.
CHECK'S IN THE MAIL,
MRS. PEEN-!
HUH, BABY, WHERE ARE YOU?
♪
BABY?
THIS IS NO TIME
TO PLAY HIDE-AND-SEEK!
THIS IS NOT
FUNNY NOW, BABY!
BABY, OH, I HOPE
YOU DIDN'T GO...
BABY,
OH MY GOSH!
FEAR NOT, LITTLE ONE!
LIFEGUARD MASK
WILL RESCUE YOU!
♪
HMM?
BUT FIRST, SPA BREAK!
SOAKIN'!
BIRDY!
HEY, LET'S TRY
AND KEEP THE NOISE LEVEL...
YOU LITTLE TWUCK,
I COULD STOP YOU
WITH MY BABY FINGA.
NOW GO UPSTAIRS,
FIX YOURSELF A BABA,
AND TUCK YOURSELF IN.
YOU JUST CAN'T
BABY THESE KIDS.
HEY!
♪
THAT WAS EASY!
YEAH, LIKE TAKIN'
CORN DOGS
FROM A BABY.
THE REWARD'S
AS GOOD AS OURS.
DID SOMEBODY
SAY, "REWARD"
FOR POOR LITTLE MOI?
HEY!
H-H-HOW DID HE DO DAT?
OH, THAT WAS NOTHING!
WAIT'LL YOU SEE THIS.
BUT YOU KNOW
WHAT'S REALLY FUN?
EJECTOR SEAT!
UH, THIS CAR
DON'T HAVE NO
EJECTOR SEAT.
IT DOES NOW.
♪
MY NAME'S MASK.
THE MASK.
♪
SOMEBODY STOP ME!
SOMEBODY NEEDS
TO STOP HIM!
I SHOULD NEVER
HAVE RELIED
ON THESE BUNGLING
LOCAL IDIOTS!
OF COURSE!
WHY SEND AMATEURS
WHEN YOU CAN HAVE
THE REAL THING?
LET'S SEE NOW...
SAFE CRACKERS,
PICKPOCKETS,
LAWYERS,
KIDNAPPERS,
AH!
BOUNTY HUNTERS.
THE MASK
IS AS GOOD
AS CAPTURED.
♪
NOTHING LIKE
A RELAXING DRIVE
THROUGH RUSH HOUR.
♪
NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL
AN UGLY BABY.
BABY?
BIRDY, BIRDY!
BIRDY!
♪
HMM?
♪
BIRDY, BIRDY!
♪
THIS OUGHT
TO BE A BLAST.
♪
SMOKIN'!
LITTLE BIRDY!
BIRDY!
♪
OOPSY.
♪
WHOEVER SAID
YOU COULD NEVER BE TOO THIN,
NEVER TRIED THAT!
NOW WHERE
DID HE GO?
AH, TEX CLOBBER
AND BAXTER SIMON.
THE TWO
BEST BOUNTY HUNTERS
MONEY CAN BUY.
CORRECTION.
I'M THE BEST, PERIOD.
HUH?
VOILA.
STATE OF THE ART
TRAPPING EQUIPMENT
EMPLOYING THE LATEST
IN COMPUTER AND LASER
TECHNOLOGY.
THAT AIN'T CAT PUKE.
THESE BABIES'LL
HANDLE ANYBODY,
AND I DON'T NEED
NO STINKIN' BATTERIES.
CLOBBER, YOU ARE
THE VERY DEFINITION
OF PURE GUTTER TRASH.
AND PROUD OF IT,
PRETTY BOY.
YOU WANNA TRY ME?
MY FIFTY DOLLAR MANICURE
ISN'T WORTH RUINING
OVER THE LIKES
OF YOU.
WHAT?
WHY, YOU, I...
GENTLEMEN, GENTLEMEN.
I SUGGEST YOU SAVE
YOUR ENTHUSIASM
FOR THE MASK.
NOW, GET OUT THERE
AND BRING HIM TO ME.
HOW MANY PLACES
CAN A BABY HIDE?
NOT HERE.
NOT HERE EITHER.
TAKE A LOAF ON RYE.
NEEDS MUSTARD!
GOTCHA!
I THOUGHT YOU
WERE SUPPOSED
TO BE TOUGH.
I'VE TRAPPED
LITTLE BUNNY RABBITS
THAT PUT UP
A BIGGER FIGHT.
BUNNIES, HUH?
YOU DON'T SAY?
WHAT THE?
WEDGIE FOR A WEENIE!
GROSS, NO UNDIES.
PTOOEY!
COME BACK HERE!
BABY, NO BABY,
WHEREFORE
ART THOU, BABY?
PERHAPS YOU WERE
ABLE TO OUTWIT
THAT DIMWIT, TEX CLOBBER,
BUT YOU'RE DEALING
WITH BAXTER SIMON NOW.
SAY, MISTER.
THAT'S SOME REMOTE
YOU GOT THERE,
BUT CHECK THIS ONE OUT.
WHAT DOES IT DO?
WORKS MY TV.
ISN'T THAT LOVELY.
WELL, WHERE YOU'RE GOING
THERE ISN'T ANY...
♪
SLIPPERY LITTLE FELLA,
AIN'T YA?
NOT REALLY,
BUT THESE ELECTRIC EELS ARE.
HEY, GUESS WHAT GUYS?
THE BALL GAME'S ON!
♪
HMM, RECEPTION'S
A LITTLE FUZZY,
BUT WHAT DO YOU WANT
WITHOUT CABLE?
SEE YOU AT HALFTIME, BOYS!
♪
BIRDY!
♪
AH, YES.
THERE'S THE TRUCK THAT TOOK
THE LITTLE NIPPER.
♪
HE'S MINE, TEX!
HOGWASH!
I SAW HIM FIRST!
I AM, LIKE,
SO POPULAR!
I KNOW THIS DRILL!
-GOTCHA!
-YOU'RE FINISHED!
OH!
LITTLE BIRDY!
BIRDY!
♪
ME, MASK!
MASK, FRIEND!
♪
SO, UM, WHICH WAY
TO THE MONKEY HOUSE?
♪
HA, WELL, WHAT HAVE WE HERE?
CAMOUFLAGE?
VERY CLEVER,
BUT NOT CLEVER ENOUGH
TO FOOL ME.
YOU, MY FRIEND,
HAVE JUST MADE ME
A VERY WEALTHY MAN.
WAIT, YOU'RE MAKING
A BIG MISTAKE!
♪
BIRDY!
BIRDY!
GOTCHA NOW,
YOU GREEN VARMINT!
BIRDY!
YOU'RE A CRAFTY ONE,
AIN'T YA?
ALWAYS CHANGIN' SHAPE!
WELL, YOU'RE ABOUT
TO TURN INTO
A MILLION BUCKS FOR ME!
BIRDIES!
I GOT YOUR
PRECIOUS MASK
RIGHT HERE, PRETORIUS.
PAY UP.
THIS IS THE MASK?
HMM.
LET'S JUST SEE,
SHALL WE?
THIS IS QUITE
A PRANK, BAXTER.
OH, GOOD ONE.
A HAHA ON ME.
-BUT THAT ISN'T...
-PRECISELY!
HE IS USELESS!
NO MASK,
NO REWARD!
DON'T WORRY.
BAXTER SIMON
ALWAYS GETS HIS MAN.
I'LL BRING HIM IN
IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!
ANOTHER SCREW UP
LIKE THIS,
IT MAY VERY WELL BE!
SO NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN,
MR. IPKISS.
BIRDIES!
OUT OF MY WAY, TEX!
HE'S MINE!
♪
N-NICE KITTY!
S-STEADY AS SHE GOES!
THERE'S A GOOD FELLOW!
♪
LOOK AT HIM.
HE'S TOYING WITH US.
GAGA, GOO GOO, EE-GAGA.
BAXTER DIDN'T REALIZE
HOW CLOSE HE CAME
TO ACTUALLY
CAPTURING THE MASK,
EH, MR. IPKISS?
BUT AS LONG
AS YOU'RE HERE,
YOU CAN
MAKE YOURSELF USEFUL
BY HELPING ME
IN MY STUDY
OF PAIN MANAGEMENT,
OR IN THE NAME
OF EMPIRICAL SCIENCE,
OF COURSE.
OW, WAIT, WAIT!
THIS CHAIR HURTS!
DON'T I EVEN GET
A CUSHION OR SOMETHING?
YOU FIND THE CHAIR PAINFUL?
YES!
AND THAT NOISE
YOUR MACHINE
IS MAKING, IT'S...
IT'S LIKE HAVING
A MILLION HOT NEEDLES
STICKIN' IN MY HEAD.
HMM, WITHOUT THE MASK,
YOU ARE UNABLE
TO WITHSTAND
ANY PAIN AT ALL.
THEREFORE,
YOU ARE WASTING
MY TIME.
MY POINT EXACTLY.
YOU ARE NOTHING MORE
THAN USELESS DETRITUS,
TO BE DISCARDED
LIKE SO MUCH RUBBISH.
YEAH. OH.
YOU KNOW,
I COULDN'T AGREE MORE.
HEY, WAIT A MINUTE!
GOODBYE, MR. IPKISS.
♪
BIRDIES!
♪
HE'S GOOD!
BEST I EVER SEEN.
MAYBE SO,
BUT I'M NOT
THROUGH WITH HIM YET.
BIRDIES!
THAT LITTLE WORM
IS HEADED OUT TO SEA!
♪
WHY YOU
GOOD-FOR-NOTHIN'!
OUTTA MY WAY!
♪
WHAT ARE YOU...
GET, GET OUTTA HERE!
SHOO, SHOO!
BABY, IT'S YOU!
AND YOU'RE WEARING
THE MASK.
THIS IS NOT GOOD.
-BIRDY!
-BIRDY?
OH, YOU WANT
THE BIRDY?
COME ON.
OKAY, C-COME AND GET IT.
BIRDY.
OKAY, COME ON.
GIVE THE MASK
TO UNCLE STANLEY!
BIRDY!
B-BIRDY!
ALL RIGHT,
WHERE ARE YA?
I'VE HAD ENOUGH
OF YOUR FUN AND GAMES!
HE'S GONE.
THE ONLY ONE HERE
IS THIS RUGRAT.
HE OUGHTA BE GOOD
FOR SOME KIND OF RANSOM.
LOOK, TIME TO
TAKE OUT THE TRASH.
IT'S YOU WHO'S ABOUT
TO BE TAKEN OUT, CHUM.
IT'S WHAT YOU
CALL MY, UH, YOU KNOW,
MAGNETIC PERSONALITY.
HMM, IS IT MY IMAGINATION,
OR DOES SOMETHING REALLY
STINK AROUND HERE?
A LITTLE AIR FRESHENER
OUGHTA DO THE TRICK.
♪
OKAY, FELLAS!
WATCH THE...
BIRDY!
THEM'S THE ME...,
MEANEST BOUNTY HUNTERS
I EVER DID SEE!
AT LAST, WE ACTUALLY
AGREE ON SOMETHING!
♪
OH, FUNNY BIRDY.
♪
♪ I GOTCHA
WITH MY WINNIN' SMILE ♪
♪ I'M A LIVING LESSON
IN FLAIR AND STYLE ♪
♪ YOU JUST CAN'T HELP
BUT STARE AT MY SAVOIR-FAIRE ♪
♪ I'M NOUVEAU, DECO,
ROMAN-GRECO, ROCOCO, BARROCO ♪
♪ BE-BOP, HIP-HOP, FLIP-FLOP,
SOMEBODY STOP ME ♪
♪ PRETTY VIRIDIAN FACES
LIKE MINE ♪
♪ DON'T COME
A DIME A DOZEN ♪
♪ I STAND OUT OF THE CROWD ♪
♪ BABE, WHEN THEY MADE ME, YEAH,
THEY BROKE THE MOLD ♪
♪ WHOLESOME AND KIND,
STAID AND REFINED ♪
♪ TOTALLY OUT OF MY MIND ♪
♪ ARCH-VILLAINS
AND NE'ER-DO-WELLS ♪
♪ HAD BETTER LEARN
TO DECORATE PRISON CELLS ♪
♪ GREEN GOES WITH ANYTHING
IF THEY ASK, SEE ♪
♪ WELL, THERE'S ONE LAST THING
I GOTTA SING ABOUT ♪
♪ OPEN UP WIDE
AND REALLY SHOUT ♪
♪ OH, LOOK OUT ♪
♪ THIS IS THE MASK ♪♪
SMOKIN'!
AHA,
BREE-HEE-HEE!
ABOOM-CHICKA,
BOOM-CHICKA,
BOOM, BOOM,
BOOM!
WOO!
AND WHAT
A PARTAY IT WAS!
HEY!
♪
YOU SHOULD'VE
BEEN THERE, PAL.
♪
WHAT A WUSS.
SPEAKIN' OF WUSSES,
TIME FOR MY MAN'S BEDDY-BYE.
♪
OH, MAN,
AM I BUSHED.
I, I NEED SOME SLEEP.
♪
IT'S A GOOD THING
IT'S THE WEEKEND.
I DON'T HAVE
TO BE UP UNTIL NOON.
♪
WHAT WAS THAT?
STANLEY, YOU KNOW HOW YOU'VE
ALWAYS PROMISED YOU'D BABYSIT
BABY FOR ME
WHENEVER I NEED YOU TO,
AND HOW I'VE NEVER
TAKEN YOU UP ON IT?
I HAVE?
YOU HA...,
YOU HAVEN'T WHAT?
WELL, HARDLY EVER,
BUT NOW I'M DESPERATE.
I NEED YOU
TO TAKE CARE
OF THE LITTLE DARLIN'
FOR ME.
I'M GOING
TO ACAPULCO
FOR THE WHOLE WEEKEND
TO CELEBRATE
WITH MY DARLIN' HUBBY, CLEM.
HE'S JUST BECOME
MR. INTERNATIONAL BOWLER.
♪
THE WHOLE WEEKEND?
OH MY,
LOOK AT THE TIME!
OH, I'D LOVE TO CHITCHAT,
BUT I'M LATE
FOR MY PLANE!
OH, BABY, YOU BEHAVE
FOR STANLEY NOW.
OH, WHAT A GOOD BOY
YOU ARE, STANLEY.
REMEMBER,
PUREED BANANAS ARE IN,
SPINACH IS OUT,
BATH TIME'S AT SIX,
NO TV PAST SEVEN,
AND LIGHTS OUT BY EIGHT,
AND NO CARTOONS!
OH, I NEARLY FORGOT.
I NEED YOU TO TAKE CARE OF OUR
PET BIRDY, SNAPPER, TOO.
YOU'RE A GEM, STANLEY,
SEE YA MONDAY!
♪
SLOBBERY, OH.
PAIN IS THE ENEMY.
I MUST LEARN
TO CONQUER IT.
ONCE I HAVE DONE THAT,
NO FORCE OF NATURE,
NO WEAPONS SYSTEM
SHALL BE ABLE TO PREVENT
MY INEVITABLE CONQUEST
OF THE WORLD.
♪
MY SUPERIOR INTELLECT
SHOULD EASILY ALLOW ME
TO WITHSTAND THE PAIN
I'M ABOUT TO INFLICT
UPON MY BODY.
HUH?
♪
USELESS!
THE PAIN STILL
SEEPS THROUGH!
♪
THE ONLY ONE
WHO APPARENTLY SUFFERS
NO PAIN AT ALL
IS THAT PATHETIC MASK!
I MUST HAVE HIM
TO STUDY!
BUT BOSS,
YOU'VE NEVER BEEN ABLE
TO CATCH THE MASK.
THANK YOU
FOR REMINDING ME.
PERHAPS YOU'D LIKE
TO EXPERIENCE SOME PAIN
YOURSELF, HMM?
NO, NO.
THAT'S OKAY.
OH, BUT I SUPPOSE
YOU DO HAVE A POINT.
PERHAPS I'VE BEEN
TOO SUBTLE
IN MY APPROACH.
YES!
I SHALL UNLEASH
THE CITY'S
UNDERWORLD RABBLE UPON
THAT GREEN-FACED BOOR!
SPREAD THE WORD
THROUGHOUT
THE CRIMINAL GRAPEVINE!
LET EVERY
LOWLIFE HOOD KNOW
THAT I'M OFFERING...
A MILLION DOLLAR REWARD?
YEAH, THAT'S WHAT
THEY SAID, ALL RIGHT,
AND ALL WE GOTTA DO
IS CATCH THE MASK.
♪
I'M SO SLEEPY.
NO, I GOTTA STAY AWAKE!
I CAN'T...
I CAN'T GO TO SLEEP.
♪
OH, BIRDY.
BIRDY.
♪
BIRDY.
CHECK'S IN THE MAIL,
MRS. PEEN-!
HUH, BABY, WHERE ARE YOU?
♪
BABY?
THIS IS NO TIME
TO PLAY HIDE-AND-SEEK!
THIS IS NOT
FUNNY NOW, BABY!
BABY, OH, I HOPE
YOU DIDN'T GO...
BABY,
OH MY GOSH!
FEAR NOT, LITTLE ONE!
LIFEGUARD MASK
WILL RESCUE YOU!
♪
HMM?
BUT FIRST, SPA BREAK!
SOAKIN'!
BIRDY!
HEY, LET'S TRY
AND KEEP THE NOISE LEVEL...
YOU LITTLE TWUCK,
I COULD STOP YOU
WITH MY BABY FINGA.
NOW GO UPSTAIRS,
FIX YOURSELF A BABA,
AND TUCK YOURSELF IN.
YOU JUST CAN'T
BABY THESE KIDS.
HEY!
♪
THAT WAS EASY!
YEAH, LIKE TAKIN'
CORN DOGS
FROM A BABY.
THE REWARD'S
AS GOOD AS OURS.
DID SOMEBODY
SAY, "REWARD"
FOR POOR LITTLE MOI?
HEY!
H-H-HOW DID HE DO DAT?
OH, THAT WAS NOTHING!
WAIT'LL YOU SEE THIS.
BUT YOU KNOW
WHAT'S REALLY FUN?
EJECTOR SEAT!
UH, THIS CAR
DON'T HAVE NO
EJECTOR SEAT.
IT DOES NOW.
♪
MY NAME'S MASK.
THE MASK.
♪
SOMEBODY STOP ME!
SOMEBODY NEEDS
TO STOP HIM!
I SHOULD NEVER
HAVE RELIED
ON THESE BUNGLING
LOCAL IDIOTS!
OF COURSE!
WHY SEND AMATEURS
WHEN YOU CAN HAVE
THE REAL THING?
LET'S SEE NOW...
SAFE CRACKERS,
PICKPOCKETS,
LAWYERS,
KIDNAPPERS,
AH!
BOUNTY HUNTERS.
THE MASK
IS AS GOOD
AS CAPTURED.
♪
NOTHING LIKE
A RELAXING DRIVE
THROUGH RUSH HOUR.
♪
NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL
AN UGLY BABY.
BABY?
BIRDY, BIRDY!
BIRDY!
♪
HMM?
♪
BIRDY, BIRDY!
♪
THIS OUGHT
TO BE A BLAST.
♪
SMOKIN'!
LITTLE BIRDY!
BIRDY!
♪
OOPSY.
♪
WHOEVER SAID
YOU COULD NEVER BE TOO THIN,
NEVER TRIED THAT!
NOW WHERE
DID HE GO?
AH, TEX CLOBBER
AND BAXTER SIMON.
THE TWO
BEST BOUNTY HUNTERS
MONEY CAN BUY.
CORRECTION.
I'M THE BEST, PERIOD.
HUH?
VOILA.
STATE OF THE ART
TRAPPING EQUIPMENT
EMPLOYING THE LATEST
IN COMPUTER AND LASER
TECHNOLOGY.
THAT AIN'T CAT PUKE.
THESE BABIES'LL
HANDLE ANYBODY,
AND I DON'T NEED
NO STINKIN' BATTERIES.
CLOBBER, YOU ARE
THE VERY DEFINITION
OF PURE GUTTER TRASH.
AND PROUD OF IT,
PRETTY BOY.
YOU WANNA TRY ME?
MY FIFTY DOLLAR MANICURE
ISN'T WORTH RUINING
OVER THE LIKES
OF YOU.
WHAT?
WHY, YOU, I...
GENTLEMEN, GENTLEMEN.
I SUGGEST YOU SAVE
YOUR ENTHUSIASM
FOR THE MASK.
NOW, GET OUT THERE
AND BRING HIM TO ME.
HOW MANY PLACES
CAN A BABY HIDE?
NOT HERE.
NOT HERE EITHER.
TAKE A LOAF ON RYE.
NEEDS MUSTARD!
GOTCHA!
I THOUGHT YOU
WERE SUPPOSED
TO BE TOUGH.
I'VE TRAPPED
LITTLE BUNNY RABBITS
THAT PUT UP
A BIGGER FIGHT.
BUNNIES, HUH?
YOU DON'T SAY?
WHAT THE?
WEDGIE FOR A WEENIE!
GROSS, NO UNDIES.
PTOOEY!
COME BACK HERE!
BABY, NO BABY,
WHEREFORE
ART THOU, BABY?
PERHAPS YOU WERE
ABLE TO OUTWIT
THAT DIMWIT, TEX CLOBBER,
BUT YOU'RE DEALING
WITH BAXTER SIMON NOW.
SAY, MISTER.
THAT'S SOME REMOTE
YOU GOT THERE,
BUT CHECK THIS ONE OUT.
WHAT DOES IT DO?
WORKS MY TV.
ISN'T THAT LOVELY.
WELL, WHERE YOU'RE GOING
THERE ISN'T ANY...
♪
SLIPPERY LITTLE FELLA,
AIN'T YA?
NOT REALLY,
BUT THESE ELECTRIC EELS ARE.
HEY, GUESS WHAT GUYS?
THE BALL GAME'S ON!
♪
HMM, RECEPTION'S
A LITTLE FUZZY,
BUT WHAT DO YOU WANT
WITHOUT CABLE?
SEE YOU AT HALFTIME, BOYS!
♪
BIRDY!
♪
AH, YES.
THERE'S THE TRUCK THAT TOOK
THE LITTLE NIPPER.
♪
HE'S MINE, TEX!
HOGWASH!
I SAW HIM FIRST!
I AM, LIKE,
SO POPULAR!
I KNOW THIS DRILL!
-GOTCHA!
-YOU'RE FINISHED!
OH!
LITTLE BIRDY!
BIRDY!
♪
ME, MASK!
MASK, FRIEND!
♪
SO, UM, WHICH WAY
TO THE MONKEY HOUSE?
♪
HA, WELL, WHAT HAVE WE HERE?
CAMOUFLAGE?
VERY CLEVER,
BUT NOT CLEVER ENOUGH
TO FOOL ME.
YOU, MY FRIEND,
HAVE JUST MADE ME
A VERY WEALTHY MAN.
WAIT, YOU'RE MAKING
A BIG MISTAKE!
♪
BIRDY!
BIRDY!
GOTCHA NOW,
YOU GREEN VARMINT!
BIRDY!
YOU'RE A CRAFTY ONE,
AIN'T YA?
ALWAYS CHANGIN' SHAPE!
WELL, YOU'RE ABOUT
TO TURN INTO
A MILLION BUCKS FOR ME!
BIRDIES!
I GOT YOUR
PRECIOUS MASK
RIGHT HERE, PRETORIUS.
PAY UP.
THIS IS THE MASK?
HMM.
LET'S JUST SEE,
SHALL WE?
THIS IS QUITE
A PRANK, BAXTER.
OH, GOOD ONE.
A HAHA ON ME.
-BUT THAT ISN'T...
-PRECISELY!
HE IS USELESS!
NO MASK,
NO REWARD!
DON'T WORRY.
BAXTER SIMON
ALWAYS GETS HIS MAN.
I'LL BRING HIM IN
IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!
ANOTHER SCREW UP
LIKE THIS,
IT MAY VERY WELL BE!
SO NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN,
MR. IPKISS.
BIRDIES!
OUT OF MY WAY, TEX!
HE'S MINE!
♪
N-NICE KITTY!
S-STEADY AS SHE GOES!
THERE'S A GOOD FELLOW!
♪
LOOK AT HIM.
HE'S TOYING WITH US.
GAGA, GOO GOO, EE-GAGA.
BAXTER DIDN'T REALIZE
HOW CLOSE HE CAME
TO ACTUALLY
CAPTURING THE MASK,
EH, MR. IPKISS?
BUT AS LONG
AS YOU'RE HERE,
YOU CAN
MAKE YOURSELF USEFUL
BY HELPING ME
IN MY STUDY
OF PAIN MANAGEMENT,
OR IN THE NAME
OF EMPIRICAL SCIENCE,
OF COURSE.
OW, WAIT, WAIT!
THIS CHAIR HURTS!
DON'T I EVEN GET
A CUSHION OR SOMETHING?
YOU FIND THE CHAIR PAINFUL?
YES!
AND THAT NOISE
YOUR MACHINE
IS MAKING, IT'S...
IT'S LIKE HAVING
A MILLION HOT NEEDLES
STICKIN' IN MY HEAD.
HMM, WITHOUT THE MASK,
YOU ARE UNABLE
TO WITHSTAND
ANY PAIN AT ALL.
THEREFORE,
YOU ARE WASTING
MY TIME.
MY POINT EXACTLY.
YOU ARE NOTHING MORE
THAN USELESS DETRITUS,
TO BE DISCARDED
LIKE SO MUCH RUBBISH.
YEAH. OH.
YOU KNOW,
I COULDN'T AGREE MORE.
HEY, WAIT A MINUTE!
GOODBYE, MR. IPKISS.
♪
BIRDIES!
♪
HE'S GOOD!
BEST I EVER SEEN.
MAYBE SO,
BUT I'M NOT
THROUGH WITH HIM YET.
BIRDIES!
THAT LITTLE WORM
IS HEADED OUT TO SEA!
♪
WHY YOU
GOOD-FOR-NOTHIN'!
OUTTA MY WAY!
♪
WHAT ARE YOU...
GET, GET OUTTA HERE!
SHOO, SHOO!
BABY, IT'S YOU!
AND YOU'RE WEARING
THE MASK.
THIS IS NOT GOOD.
-BIRDY!
-BIRDY?
OH, YOU WANT
THE BIRDY?
COME ON.
OKAY, C-COME AND GET IT.
BIRDY.
OKAY, COME ON.
GIVE THE MASK
TO UNCLE STANLEY!
BIRDY!
B-BIRDY!
ALL RIGHT,
WHERE ARE YA?
I'VE HAD ENOUGH
OF YOUR FUN AND GAMES!
HE'S GONE.
THE ONLY ONE HERE
IS THIS RUGRAT.
HE OUGHTA BE GOOD
FOR SOME KIND OF RANSOM.
LOOK, TIME TO
TAKE OUT THE TRASH.
IT'S YOU WHO'S ABOUT
TO BE TAKEN OUT, CHUM.
IT'S WHAT YOU
CALL MY, UH, YOU KNOW,
MAGNETIC PERSONALITY.
HMM, IS IT MY IMAGINATION,
OR DOES SOMETHING REALLY
STINK AROUND HERE?
A LITTLE AIR FRESHENER
OUGHTA DO THE TRICK.
♪
OKAY, FELLAS!
WATCH THE...
BIRDY!
THEM'S THE ME...,
MEANEST BOUNTY HUNTERS
I EVER DID SEE!
AT LAST, WE ACTUALLY
AGREE ON SOMETHING!
♪
OH, FUNNY BIRDY.
♪