The Mask (1995–1997): Season 2, Episode 25 - Sealed Fate - full transcript
[yelling]
♪ I got ya with
my winning smile ♪
♪ I'm a living lesson
in flair and style ♪
♪ You just can't help but
stare at my savoir-faire ♪
♪ I'm Nouveau, Deco,
Roman-Greco ♪
♪ Rococo, Barroco ♪
♪ Be-bop, hip-hop, flip-flop ♪
Somebody stop me!
♪ Pretty viridian
faces like mine ♪
Don't come a dime a dozen,
I stand out of the crowd!
♪ Babe when they made me
Yeah they broke the mold! ♪
Wholesome and kind,
staid and refined,
totally out of my mind!
♪ Arch-villains
and ne'er-do-wells ♪
♪ Had better learn to
decorate prison cells ♪
Green goes with anything
if they ask, see?
♪ Well there's one last
thing I gotta sing about ♪
Open up wide and really shout!
Whoa, look out!
♪ This is the Mask! ♪♪
Smokin'!
Oh, whoa.
I got to remember
to take this stuff out sooner.
[groans]
[growling]
[screams]
You're beautiful. Stunning.
Simply spectacular.
Thanks, big guy. Couldn't
have said it better myself.
Now to top it off with the
perfect fashion statement.
Hmm, no.
Man, no.
Nick.
You're right. Why mess
with perfection?
[knocking]
Good evening, sir.
Interested in a spectacular
deal? Sure you are.
[chuckles]
I'm authorized to
give you a special...
What a co-winky-dink.
I'm authorized to give
you the old heave ho.
There's the hoe.
And here's the heave.
[screams]
[gasps]
Lock-top Putterware?
All the shapes and sizes.
22 decorative colors.
Come to papa.
I've got to have them all.
Order me one of everything.
No, better make it two.
Never know when
company is coming.
See ya!
I gotta shop, shop, shop
'till I drop, drop, drop.
[snoring]
I'm going to need
all those things.
Yeah, the credit card
is maxed out.
- [knocking]
- Huh?
Stanley Ipkiss?
Yes?
[all] Sign here.
Wait. How am I going
to pay for all of this?
Impressive purchases.
You seem like a man constantly
striving to realize his full
potential.
Would you like to have more
control over your life?
That's crossed my mind.
Then you're just the kind of man
we want in our family.
The Putterware sales
family that is.
You can fulfill all your
lifelong dreams and desires.
Gee, I don't know.
I've never sold
anything before.
I could train you personally.
And offer spiritual guidance.
I've never been very assertive.
Assertiveness is
something you learn
on the journey to
self-discovery.
And I just couldn't
walk door to door all day.
We'll get you
comfortable shoes.
I guess I don't
have much choice.
[stammering]
Listen...
Couldn't you go with me to
the first couple of houses?
The journey to self-empowerment
must be taken alone.
I'm pushing you out of the nest
to teach you to fly.
There you go. Fly, fly.
Fulfill your destiny,
and remember!
No CODs.
[stammering]
Good evening, sir.
I'm here to offer you
the assurance
of Putterware food protection.
Putterware?
How dare you try to sell me
more of your junk?
It's ruined my life.
Putterware sealed all our
food so tight,
we can't get it out.
We haven't had a bite
to eat in three months.
[door slams]
Good heavens,
you nice young man.
What on Earth are you selling?
Why, Putterware, of course.
Putterware?
[scowls]
Of all the nerve.
I had a Putterware party
back in 1952.
Sold it to all of my friends.
But the stuff was such junk,
they cancelled their orders.
I got stuck with every
last piece.
Now, you get your scrawny
carcass out of here.
You rotten con artist!
[yelps]
I've never seen anyone like you.
Where's your backbone, man?
If you just exude
confidence and success,
your customers will pick up that
energy and return it.
I think the only thing they want
to return is the Putterware.
No, that's your resistance.
Not theirs.
Get rid of that negativity.
I know there's a real salesman
inside you dying to get out.
Yeah, trust me,
I've met him.
Maybe just this once I could...
Oh, who am I kidding?
Yeah? What do you want?
Oh, hello, sir.
I was...
[coughs]
I'm not leaving until
you heard all I have to
say about Putterware.
Why? Are you aware that
Putterware is a dangerous
conspiracy
that threatens our
very way of life?
Sir, no, sir!
Then let me acquaint you
with the concept.
[screams]
[whimpering]
[groans]
Stanley, I've been trying
to call you all night.
Where have you been?
Putterware?
Door to door?
Boy, are you a glutton
for punishment.
[yawns]
What do you mean?
I'm just surprised anyone
opened their door for you.
Not with the rotting ooze
creature running loose.
OK, I'll bite.
What's the rotting ooze
creature, Peggy?
Well, no one's ever
seen him clearly,
but he's described as
looking like a giant...
slimy, rotting stalk
of celery.
[laughing]
What will your tabloids
stoop to next?
You cooked up some pretty
fishy stuff on these,
but this one...
really smells.
- [screams]
- [gasps]
Stanley!
Help!
[gasps]
Whoa! Help!
[screaming]
Help!
[yelling]
Enough with peddling
this plastic.
I've got bigger fish to fry.
But first...
time to dish out some
just desserts.
Evening, ma'am.
Special agent, Skuzzy Molar.
Your country needs your help.
A giant radioactive meteor
has hit near by.
We plan to break it up and store
it in many airtight containers.
Tell me, would you happen
to have any Putterware?
Would I?!
Here. Take it all.
Unfortunately, now that
I've told you this,
you know far too much.
You have to enter
the witness protection program.
And you'll have
to be relocated.
[screaming]
Ma'am, you left your
credit card.
She needs more
Putterware, anyway.
She'll thank me
for this later.
I got a report that you refused
to requisition Putterware.
Is this affirmative, soldier?
Don't you know mold
encroachment is the biggest
threat to our country's borders?
I'm placing you
under house arrest.
And lifetime K.P. duty.
Now, get the potatoes
out of your ears,
and start peeling, soldier!
I want your John Hancock on
this Putterware requisition form
before I transfer you
to Kalamazoo!
Nice work, sonny...
I mean, marine.
Ooh, that reminds me.
[groaning]
Let me go!
[muttering]
On guard, you
overgrown anchovies.
Food fight.
Hmm, not going well.
Looks like I'll just have
to eat my losses.
[munching]
[moans]
I'm going to blow chunks.
Mm, revolting.
Nice going.
Now we'll never know where
those fish came from,
or whether they have
any connection to the
rotting ooze monster.
You can thank me later, Peg.
I don't know why, but I'm
in the mood for sushi.
[groans]
Hmm.
- [snoring]
- [knocking]
Huh?
Come on, open up!
It's me, Harold!
We just got your
new sales figures.
They're phenomenal.
You've already outsold every
other Putterware salesman in
history combined.
[muttering]
Putterware history...
I did?
Oh, I did.
- What are you doing?
- Don't worry.
You'll come back for
the rest of your stuff.
Who's "they?"
Where are we going?
Son, you're being inducted
into the inner circle.
Only the cream of the sales
crop are invited.
[chuckles]
Your orientation begins at...
[man]
The Putterware compound.
A monument to the
accomplishment and genius
of our founder,
Miss Celia Anne Airtight.
She personally requested
a meeting with you, Stanley.
It's a great honor
to be asked to serve her.
If I can lead the killer
sardines to Putterware,
I'll be polishing
a Pulitzer for sure.
What kind of weirdo
would be this fixated
on a bunch of plastic bowls?
Celia N. Airtight.
Delighted.
You're quite a salesman,
my son.
Well, you know,
I do what I can.
I have a few questions
about this...
Of course, of course.
You burn with curiosity
about how this family was born.
I was once the top research
scientist for that cellophane
colossus...
Wrapmaster corporation.
But the short-sighted fools
said my experiments
in food preservation
were too radical.
Too unorthodox.
They booted me out...
for knowing too much.
I vowed to create my own
food preservation empire.
But success isn't enough.
I don't want to just
outsell Wrapmaster.
I want to destroy them.
Come. Let me show you how.
- [beeping]
- [gasps]
Well, the genius in this plan
was in its simplicity.
An innocent
leftover sandwich...
found in hundreds of homes.
But by reversing
the freshness process,
we make it spoil
at amazing rates...
until it reformulates...
into a completely
new life form.
- [gasps]
- [whirrs]
It's alive!
Alive!
[snarling]
I've turned the tables
and created leftovers
that eat people.
[cackles]
Oh, man. I've got to get
to the Mask somehow.
Excuse me.
I'd really like to capture
this moment on film.
Just let me run home
and get my camera.
But didn't Harold
explain to you?
When you joined
my inner circle,
you agreed to renounce
all your worldly possessions.
Thanks to you and the rest
of my sales force,
Putterware is now in every
corner of the city.
Now I can spawn an entire
legion of leftovers,
guide them to the Wrapmaster
corporation,
and reduce it to rubble.
[clattering]
Don't mind me.
Let's go, Peggy.
[snaps]
Well, Stanley, why don't
you introduce me
to your little friend?
[chuckles]
What a pity.
I thought you were going
to be enlightened.
Now that you know my secrets,
thou must be destroyed.
I'd offer you a last meal,
but you're already going
to be one.
[snarling]
[snarling]
[screams]
[clucks]
[snarling]
[both gasp]
- [screaming]
- [snarling]
Follow me,
my hideous darlings.
Follow me to your destiny.
[snarling]
- Stanley! The vent.
- Right.
[shrieks]
OK, come on, Peg.
Atta girl.
[Peggy] Hey, Stanley?
Isn't that your stuff?
[whimpers]
[barks]
- Milo!
- [panting]
I can't believe we got
to catalogue all this junk.
[grunts]
Milo, get me the Mask, boy.
- Come on.
- [barks]
[pants]
Not that, Milo.
Mask.
Put down the flask.
Bring me the Mask.
[snarling]
I think we need
to speed this along.
[snarling]
Good boy, Milo.
I'm not saying
it was cramped in there,
but I just gave myself
a complete physical.
I'd like to propose a toast.
Smokin'.
[screaming]
[snarling]
Hey, they're making
pretty good time.
I call that "fast food."
Kids, finish your vegetables
before they finish you.
[shrieks]
One Samurai stir-fry
coming up.
No, no!
Ho, ho, ho.
You must be the ghost
of Christmas pasta.
[sings]
[moaning]
Now that's using
the old noodle.
[clucks]
Yee-haw!
It's a bucking clucker.
Try saying that
five times fast
without getting your
face slapped.
Now, this is what
I call fly fishing.
[screaming]
[siren wailing]
I can see the headline...
"Mask spoils
leftovers' dinner."
Well, my work here is done.
Coco bungo, here I come.
But first...
Come on. Where is it?
I know it's in here somewhere.
Aha!
Couldn't leave you behind,
now, could I?
There. Just like I left it.
[barking]
Sorry, my canine
American compadre.
And now it's party time!
Like I'm really gonna
let him have all the fun.
Somebody stop us!
♪ I got ya with
my winning smile ♪
♪ I'm a living lesson
in flair and style ♪
♪ You just can't help but
stare at my savoir-faire ♪
♪ I'm Nouveau, Deco,
Roman-Greco ♪
♪ Rococo, Barroco ♪
♪ Be-bop, hip-hop, flip-flop ♪
Somebody stop me!
♪ Pretty viridian
faces like mine ♪
Don't come a dime a dozen,
I stand out of the crowd!
♪ Babe when they made me
Yeah they broke the mold! ♪
Wholesome and kind,
staid and refined,
totally out of my mind!
♪ Arch-villains
and ne'er-do-wells ♪
♪ Had better learn to
decorate prison cells ♪
Green goes with anything
if they ask, see?
♪ Well there's one last
thing I gotta sing about ♪
Open up wide and really shout!
Whoa, look out!
♪ This is the Mask! ♪♪
Smokin'!
Oh, whoa.
I got to remember
to take this stuff out sooner.
[groans]
[growling]
[screams]
You're beautiful. Stunning.
Simply spectacular.
Thanks, big guy. Couldn't
have said it better myself.
Now to top it off with the
perfect fashion statement.
Hmm, no.
Man, no.
Nick.
You're right. Why mess
with perfection?
[knocking]
Good evening, sir.
Interested in a spectacular
deal? Sure you are.
[chuckles]
I'm authorized to
give you a special...
What a co-winky-dink.
I'm authorized to give
you the old heave ho.
There's the hoe.
And here's the heave.
[screams]
[gasps]
Lock-top Putterware?
All the shapes and sizes.
22 decorative colors.
Come to papa.
I've got to have them all.
Order me one of everything.
No, better make it two.
Never know when
company is coming.
See ya!
I gotta shop, shop, shop
'till I drop, drop, drop.
[snoring]
I'm going to need
all those things.
Yeah, the credit card
is maxed out.
- [knocking]
- Huh?
Stanley Ipkiss?
Yes?
[all] Sign here.
Wait. How am I going
to pay for all of this?
Impressive purchases.
You seem like a man constantly
striving to realize his full
potential.
Would you like to have more
control over your life?
That's crossed my mind.
Then you're just the kind of man
we want in our family.
The Putterware sales
family that is.
You can fulfill all your
lifelong dreams and desires.
Gee, I don't know.
I've never sold
anything before.
I could train you personally.
And offer spiritual guidance.
I've never been very assertive.
Assertiveness is
something you learn
on the journey to
self-discovery.
And I just couldn't
walk door to door all day.
We'll get you
comfortable shoes.
I guess I don't
have much choice.
[stammering]
Listen...
Couldn't you go with me to
the first couple of houses?
The journey to self-empowerment
must be taken alone.
I'm pushing you out of the nest
to teach you to fly.
There you go. Fly, fly.
Fulfill your destiny,
and remember!
No CODs.
[stammering]
Good evening, sir.
I'm here to offer you
the assurance
of Putterware food protection.
Putterware?
How dare you try to sell me
more of your junk?
It's ruined my life.
Putterware sealed all our
food so tight,
we can't get it out.
We haven't had a bite
to eat in three months.
[door slams]
Good heavens,
you nice young man.
What on Earth are you selling?
Why, Putterware, of course.
Putterware?
[scowls]
Of all the nerve.
I had a Putterware party
back in 1952.
Sold it to all of my friends.
But the stuff was such junk,
they cancelled their orders.
I got stuck with every
last piece.
Now, you get your scrawny
carcass out of here.
You rotten con artist!
[yelps]
I've never seen anyone like you.
Where's your backbone, man?
If you just exude
confidence and success,
your customers will pick up that
energy and return it.
I think the only thing they want
to return is the Putterware.
No, that's your resistance.
Not theirs.
Get rid of that negativity.
I know there's a real salesman
inside you dying to get out.
Yeah, trust me,
I've met him.
Maybe just this once I could...
Oh, who am I kidding?
Yeah? What do you want?
Oh, hello, sir.
I was...
[coughs]
I'm not leaving until
you heard all I have to
say about Putterware.
Why? Are you aware that
Putterware is a dangerous
conspiracy
that threatens our
very way of life?
Sir, no, sir!
Then let me acquaint you
with the concept.
[screams]
[whimpering]
[groans]
Stanley, I've been trying
to call you all night.
Where have you been?
Putterware?
Door to door?
Boy, are you a glutton
for punishment.
[yawns]
What do you mean?
I'm just surprised anyone
opened their door for you.
Not with the rotting ooze
creature running loose.
OK, I'll bite.
What's the rotting ooze
creature, Peggy?
Well, no one's ever
seen him clearly,
but he's described as
looking like a giant...
slimy, rotting stalk
of celery.
[laughing]
What will your tabloids
stoop to next?
You cooked up some pretty
fishy stuff on these,
but this one...
really smells.
- [screams]
- [gasps]
Stanley!
Help!
[gasps]
Whoa! Help!
[screaming]
Help!
[yelling]
Enough with peddling
this plastic.
I've got bigger fish to fry.
But first...
time to dish out some
just desserts.
Evening, ma'am.
Special agent, Skuzzy Molar.
Your country needs your help.
A giant radioactive meteor
has hit near by.
We plan to break it up and store
it in many airtight containers.
Tell me, would you happen
to have any Putterware?
Would I?!
Here. Take it all.
Unfortunately, now that
I've told you this,
you know far too much.
You have to enter
the witness protection program.
And you'll have
to be relocated.
[screaming]
Ma'am, you left your
credit card.
She needs more
Putterware, anyway.
She'll thank me
for this later.
I got a report that you refused
to requisition Putterware.
Is this affirmative, soldier?
Don't you know mold
encroachment is the biggest
threat to our country's borders?
I'm placing you
under house arrest.
And lifetime K.P. duty.
Now, get the potatoes
out of your ears,
and start peeling, soldier!
I want your John Hancock on
this Putterware requisition form
before I transfer you
to Kalamazoo!
Nice work, sonny...
I mean, marine.
Ooh, that reminds me.
[groaning]
Let me go!
[muttering]
On guard, you
overgrown anchovies.
Food fight.
Hmm, not going well.
Looks like I'll just have
to eat my losses.
[munching]
[moans]
I'm going to blow chunks.
Mm, revolting.
Nice going.
Now we'll never know where
those fish came from,
or whether they have
any connection to the
rotting ooze monster.
You can thank me later, Peg.
I don't know why, but I'm
in the mood for sushi.
[groans]
Hmm.
- [snoring]
- [knocking]
Huh?
Come on, open up!
It's me, Harold!
We just got your
new sales figures.
They're phenomenal.
You've already outsold every
other Putterware salesman in
history combined.
[muttering]
Putterware history...
I did?
Oh, I did.
- What are you doing?
- Don't worry.
You'll come back for
the rest of your stuff.
Who's "they?"
Where are we going?
Son, you're being inducted
into the inner circle.
Only the cream of the sales
crop are invited.
[chuckles]
Your orientation begins at...
[man]
The Putterware compound.
A monument to the
accomplishment and genius
of our founder,
Miss Celia Anne Airtight.
She personally requested
a meeting with you, Stanley.
It's a great honor
to be asked to serve her.
If I can lead the killer
sardines to Putterware,
I'll be polishing
a Pulitzer for sure.
What kind of weirdo
would be this fixated
on a bunch of plastic bowls?
Celia N. Airtight.
Delighted.
You're quite a salesman,
my son.
Well, you know,
I do what I can.
I have a few questions
about this...
Of course, of course.
You burn with curiosity
about how this family was born.
I was once the top research
scientist for that cellophane
colossus...
Wrapmaster corporation.
But the short-sighted fools
said my experiments
in food preservation
were too radical.
Too unorthodox.
They booted me out...
for knowing too much.
I vowed to create my own
food preservation empire.
But success isn't enough.
I don't want to just
outsell Wrapmaster.
I want to destroy them.
Come. Let me show you how.
- [beeping]
- [gasps]
Well, the genius in this plan
was in its simplicity.
An innocent
leftover sandwich...
found in hundreds of homes.
But by reversing
the freshness process,
we make it spoil
at amazing rates...
until it reformulates...
into a completely
new life form.
- [gasps]
- [whirrs]
It's alive!
Alive!
[snarling]
I've turned the tables
and created leftovers
that eat people.
[cackles]
Oh, man. I've got to get
to the Mask somehow.
Excuse me.
I'd really like to capture
this moment on film.
Just let me run home
and get my camera.
But didn't Harold
explain to you?
When you joined
my inner circle,
you agreed to renounce
all your worldly possessions.
Thanks to you and the rest
of my sales force,
Putterware is now in every
corner of the city.
Now I can spawn an entire
legion of leftovers,
guide them to the Wrapmaster
corporation,
and reduce it to rubble.
[clattering]
Don't mind me.
Let's go, Peggy.
[snaps]
Well, Stanley, why don't
you introduce me
to your little friend?
[chuckles]
What a pity.
I thought you were going
to be enlightened.
Now that you know my secrets,
thou must be destroyed.
I'd offer you a last meal,
but you're already going
to be one.
[snarling]
[snarling]
[screams]
[clucks]
[snarling]
[both gasp]
- [screaming]
- [snarling]
Follow me,
my hideous darlings.
Follow me to your destiny.
[snarling]
- Stanley! The vent.
- Right.
[shrieks]
OK, come on, Peg.
Atta girl.
[Peggy] Hey, Stanley?
Isn't that your stuff?
[whimpers]
[barks]
- Milo!
- [panting]
I can't believe we got
to catalogue all this junk.
[grunts]
Milo, get me the Mask, boy.
- Come on.
- [barks]
[pants]
Not that, Milo.
Mask.
Put down the flask.
Bring me the Mask.
[snarling]
I think we need
to speed this along.
[snarling]
Good boy, Milo.
I'm not saying
it was cramped in there,
but I just gave myself
a complete physical.
I'd like to propose a toast.
Smokin'.
[screaming]
[snarling]
Hey, they're making
pretty good time.
I call that "fast food."
Kids, finish your vegetables
before they finish you.
[shrieks]
One Samurai stir-fry
coming up.
No, no!
Ho, ho, ho.
You must be the ghost
of Christmas pasta.
[sings]
[moaning]
Now that's using
the old noodle.
[clucks]
Yee-haw!
It's a bucking clucker.
Try saying that
five times fast
without getting your
face slapped.
Now, this is what
I call fly fishing.
[screaming]
[siren wailing]
I can see the headline...
"Mask spoils
leftovers' dinner."
Well, my work here is done.
Coco bungo, here I come.
But first...
Come on. Where is it?
I know it's in here somewhere.
Aha!
Couldn't leave you behind,
now, could I?
There. Just like I left it.
[barking]
Sorry, my canine
American compadre.
And now it's party time!
Like I'm really gonna
let him have all the fun.
Somebody stop us!