The Mask (1995–1997): Season 2, Episode 17 - Rain of Terror - full transcript
[yelling]
♪ I got ya with
my winning smile ♪
♪ I'm a living lesson
in flair and style ♪
♪ You just can't help but
stare at my savoir-faire ♪
♪ I'm Nouveau, Deco,
Roman-Greco ♪
♪ Rococo, Barroco ♪
♪ Be-bop, hip-hop, flip-flop ♪
Somebody stop me!
♪ Pretty viridian
faces like mine ♪
Don't come a dime a dozen,
I stand out of the crowd!
♪ Babe, when they made me
Yeah, they broke the mold! ♪
Wholesome and kind,
staid and refined.
Totally out of my mind!
♪ Arch-villains
and ne'er-do-wells ♪
♪ Had better learn to
decorate prison cells ♪
Green goes with anything
if they ask, see?
♪ Well, there's one last thing
I gotta sing about ♪
Open up wide and really shout!
Whoa, look out!
♪ This is the Mask! ♪♪
Smokin'!
[music playing]
Yowza!
Oh, baby.
They're playing my song!
Watch me work, people.
Watch me work!
Conga line!
[all cheering]
Somebody stop me!
[crashing]
Hey, girlfriends.
Good evening, ladies.
We must hang out
together again, soon.
Very soon.
Oh, I do so
love a man in green.
[whistling]
[voice] Hey, buster.
Yeah, that's right,
down here.
I'm getting real hungry,
and it's time you
did something about it.
All right, all right,
quit growling.
Nobody likes a sour stomach.
Uh, can I take
your... order?
Yes. I'll have ten,
no, make it 15, no,
make it 20 pizzas
with double, no, triple,
no quadruple toppings,
and make it snappy.
Garcon, garcon,
where is my order?!
[smacking]
[burping loudly]
[all shouting]
[crashing]
And another 20 pizzas to go.
[stammering] Sorry.
But the boss says no more pizzas
till you pay your bill.
Sure, sure, no prob...
Ah-ooga!
Uh, uno momento,please.
Ah-ha!
Maxed out.
Maxed out.
Maxed out.
Ah, paydirt!
[kissing]
Thank you so much,
my dermatologically
challenged friend.
Wonder what he meant by that.
Ah.
Now for some apredinner
couch potatoing.
[static]
And I guarantee,
nay, promise,
clear skies for this morning's
soap sculpture parade.
[thunder cracking]
In other weather news...
[clearing throat]
Thanks, Fritz,
but enough about the weather.
We've got real news to report.
Firefighters rescued
little Timmy Miller's
pet hamster Chaucer
from the top
of a 20-foot oak.
And from Landfill Park
to the harbor,
that's it for today's news.
But wait.
I had more on the weather.
Oh, do you, now?
Haven't you destroyed enough
lives for one morning?
You've got a lot of nerve
forecasting it's
gonna be a clear day.
Well, isn't it?
Does that answer
your question?
You know, as a weatherman,
you are all wet, pal.
If I had real
forecasting tools,
I could predict
the weather better.
But no.
The station refuses
to treat its weathermen
- with any respect.
- Ho hum.
Like I haven't heard
this boring tirade
a dozen times before.
I'm a professional,
you hear me?
I've had 13 years of
meteorological college.
Someday, I'll teach you all
to take me and
my weather seriously.
Good news, Fritz.
Statistics show we can
increase our viewing audience
with children under four
if you wear a clown suit
while doing the weather.
[both laughing]
- That's rich.
- Yeah, that's a good one.
I will not tolerate
this lack of respect
for my profession.
- [grunting]
- Hey! Whoa!
That's it, Fritz Drizzle.
You're fired.
- You're out of here.
- For now.
But I'll be back.
To take my revenge
against you,
this TV station,
and while I'm
spreading it around,
all of Edge City!
Now that is one
tempestuous fellow.
[Fritz panting]
I'll show
those small-minded fools.
They think weather
is to be taken lightly?
I'll give 'em something else
to think about.
A little tweak here,
a little adjustment there,
and lots of kicking here,
will spin Edge City's weather
satellite out of control.
Let's see how well
they get along
with no weather forecasts
at all!
[beeping]
[alarm sounding]
[thunder cracking]
[screaming]
I feel different.
So full of energy.
As if...
[sizzling]
Yes! It's true.
I've been imbued
with the awesome power
of weather itself.
And now the time has come
to make them fear that power,
to fear the power of...
...the Tempest!
[laughing maniacally]
Now, another round
of chili cheeseburgers
Here's a check for the chow,
my good man,
and a little something extra
for your retirement fund.
[gulps]
Hey, what gives?
These are pinkish.
I ordered them well-done.
[chuckling] That's a bit
too well-done.
[laughing]
[shouting]
All right,
who's the wise guy?
I don't know
who you are, pal,
but your funny costume
is about to get
some serious alterations.
[chuckling]
Gone like the wind, huh?
Behold!
The power of weather
is at my fingertips.
Oh, speaking of
fingertips, darling,
all those lightning bolts
are drying your cuticles
something awful.
Ah. You know,
I have noticed
some flakiness
every now and then.
How dare you
mock the Tempest?
The Tempest?
I thought you were just that
weather wimp, Fritz Drizzle.
Hmm? I was.
Until an electrical charge
from a satellite,
after being filtered
through the charged ions
of a thunderstorm,
imbued me with the power
- of weather itself.
- Oh, yeah, uh-huh.
Oh, look, a half-off coupon
on doggie biscuits.
Mm-hmm, great.
You insolent swine.
Feel the power of my wind!
Soon as those chili burgers
kick in,
you're gonna feel
the power of my wind!
Now then,
by my calculations
all I've got to do
is hit that awning
at a 22 degree angle
undit will most
certainly break my fall.
[thudding]
Well, it was
a good theory, anyhoo.
[groans]
[Mask yodeling]
[panting] Ooh.
Was quite a climb,
I long to tell you, ya.
A nice hot cup of cocoa
would really hit the spot, ya.
Oh, I'm fresh out of cocoa,
but, uh...
...how's this for hot?
- [bell ringing]
- All right, you big nothing.
I'm gonna punch you so hard,
your grandma's gonna need
stitches, know what I'm saying?
Oh, my. Such a temper.
I think you need
to chill... out.
[chuckles]
And now that I've put him
in the deep freeze...
I can take my vengeance
upon the rest of the city.
[laughing]
[cracking]
[gurgling]
Oh, man.
[stuttering]
This is cold.
[gasps] The Mask!
No!
[struggling] I gotta
break out of this cube
before I freeze to death.
OK, if I can just tip over.
Whoa!
Wait, stop!
[shouting]
[continues shouting]
[shivering]
The Mask has gotta be around
here somewhere, doesn't it?
[sneezing]
Oh, I gotta go warm up
before I catch pneumonia.
Disaster struck the annual
soap sculpture parade today,
as the rain poured down
entrants were sudsed.
[explosion]
What was...
[yelling]
Ladies and gentlemen,
we seem to be under
some sort of wind attack.
Wind attack nothing.
You're in the grip of
the tempest of the century.
Me.
Look here, you, we're in
the middle of a broadcast.
- You can't...
- Oh, can't I?
And now, a word
from our sponsors.
Don't you dare
turn that camera off.
[stammering]
Yes, sir. No, sir.
[shivering]
So cold.
Oh, I'm so cold.
Maybe something warm
is on TV, huh?
Yeah, something with beaches
and sunshine and babes.
Hello. The weather forecast
for Edge City is disaster.
Unless my demands are met.
I want a giant monument,
taller than the Eiffel Tower
erected to honor that great,
but unappreciated weatherman,
Fritz Drizzle.
Who is this nut?
And, just to prove
that I mean business,
I'm, uh, planning
a little demonstration
of my torrential power!
A blizzard that will
bring the entire city
to a standstill.
[laughing]
Oh, I would have
to lose the Mask now.
I mean, who else is gonna
stop a nut like this?
[phone ringing]
Ooh, uh...
Who's calling, please?
Collection agency?
But I didn't eat any...
[whimpers] The Mask!
I dig.
Think, Stanley,
think, think, think.
Uh, OK, if I work overtime
at the bank all week,
I should have just enough
money to pay off...
- [phone ringing]
- Hello?
Hey, Stanley,
Charlie here.
It looks like the bank is gonna
be closed down for a while
because of the blizzard.
What? No, they can't do...
Yep, matter of fact, every
business in town is closed.
Except the post office.
You know, they got
that dumb motto,
"Rain, sleet or snow,
the mail's gotta go"
or something.
Well, ta-ta.
I'm off to rustle me up
some ski bunnies.
[sighing]
Well, Milo, old pal,
looks like the only way
for me to pay off this bill
is to take another job, and...
...since there's
only one available...
Congratulations, son.
You are now a member
of the US Postal Service.
Here's your standard
issue uniform,
your standard issue shoes,
your standard issue postal bag,
and your standard issue
can of dog repellent.
Now get out there
and deliver that mail.
[laughing]
Ah, look at the lovely
devastation I have wrought
with my blizzard.
Ah, the entire city
is at a standstill
no one is able to work,
all goods and services
have been halted.
Oh, beautiful, beautiful.
Wait. What's this?
[grunting] Today would
have to be the day
the book club sends everybody
a free encyclopedia set.
[grumbling]
How dare some pathetic
postman defy me?
Sic him, boy.
Okay, now where is 358E?
I see "C", I see "D"
and "F", but no "E."
Oh, I can't think
with that stupid train
making all that noise.
Wait a minute.
The trains aren't running
in this blizzard.
[shouting]
[shouting]
[laughing]
Behold the awesome and
deadly power of weather.
[shouting]
Whoo! Time to get off
this tilt-a-whirl.
Daddy's feeling a little
green around the gills.
I'll take potpourri
for 500, Alex.
Oh, baby,
that feels so good.
All right, sister twister.
It's you and me.
Ooh, come on and be a good
little natural disaster.
Play nice now.
[grunts]
OK, you big windbag,
two can play at that game.
[inhaling]
Ptooey!
[burping]
Whoa. Major heartburn.
[chuckles] Break out
the life rafts, Edge City,
'cause it's gonna rain like
it's never rained before.
I'll take 75 anchovy
and mayonnaise pizzas,
twenty-three pepperoni
and peanut butter pizzas,
two with extra sushi and 52...
[quacking]
Hmm. This pizza seems a tad
on the soggy side.
OK, who's the doofus
who forgot to jiggle
the handle on the toilet?
[indistinct chatter]
It's that weather weirdo again.
He's ruining my city!
Only I get to do that.
[Tempest] Finally,
the city trembles
before the terrible power
of the Tempest!
Just wait until they hear
tomorrow's forecast.
It's going to be
unseasonably deadly.
[Mask] Say there.
You wouldn't have a spare towel
on you, would you?
No? Well, then,
I'm just gonna have to
dry off doggie style.
Oh, do let me help.
A little heat lightning
can do wonders.
Sorry, but I chafe
rather easily.
On account of my dainty,
girlish complexion.
[giggling]
[tsking]
Such disrespect.
Time for you to
hail to the Chief!
You call that a pitch?
[grunts]
Time for you
to hit the showers.
Now, where is
that weather weenie?
The Tempest is no weenie,
you green monstrosity.
I command the elements.
Behold.
[thunder cracking]
Hmm. Not good.
[shouting]
Oh, I am sorry.
What you need is
a little soothing water
to wipe away
those salty tears.
[gurgling]
That's it.
I can't take anymore.
Like a green rat,
trying to escape
a sinking ship.
No, more like a plumber trying
to unplug a stinky drain.
Sorry, weather boy,
but it looks like
your career has gone...
Dare I say it?
...down the drain.
[sighing]
Well, nothing like defeating
a demented meteorologist
to build up an appetite.
[chuckling]
[burps]
♪ I got ya with
my winning smile ♪
♪ I'm a living lesson
in flair and style ♪
♪ You just can't help but
stare at my savoir-faire ♪
♪ I'm Nouveau, Deco,
Roman-Greco ♪
♪ Rococo, Barroco ♪
♪ Be-bop, hip-hop, flip-flop ♪
Somebody stop me!
♪ Pretty viridian
faces like mine ♪
Don't come a dime a dozen,
I stand out of the crowd!
♪ Babe, when they made me
Yeah, they broke the mold! ♪
Wholesome and kind,
staid and refined.
Totally out of my mind!
♪ Arch-villains
and ne'er-do-wells ♪
♪ Had better learn to
decorate prison cells ♪
Green goes with anything
if they ask, see?
♪ Well, there's one last thing
I gotta sing about ♪
Open up wide and really shout!
Whoa, look out!
♪ This is the Mask! ♪♪
Smokin'!
[music playing]
Yowza!
Oh, baby.
They're playing my song!
Watch me work, people.
Watch me work!
Conga line!
[all cheering]
Somebody stop me!
[crashing]
Hey, girlfriends.
Good evening, ladies.
We must hang out
together again, soon.
Very soon.
Oh, I do so
love a man in green.
[whistling]
[voice] Hey, buster.
Yeah, that's right,
down here.
I'm getting real hungry,
and it's time you
did something about it.
All right, all right,
quit growling.
Nobody likes a sour stomach.
Uh, can I take
your... order?
Yes. I'll have ten,
no, make it 15, no,
make it 20 pizzas
with double, no, triple,
no quadruple toppings,
and make it snappy.
Garcon, garcon,
where is my order?!
[smacking]
[burping loudly]
[all shouting]
[crashing]
And another 20 pizzas to go.
[stammering] Sorry.
But the boss says no more pizzas
till you pay your bill.
Sure, sure, no prob...
Ah-ooga!
Uh, uno momento,please.
Ah-ha!
Maxed out.
Maxed out.
Maxed out.
Ah, paydirt!
[kissing]
Thank you so much,
my dermatologically
challenged friend.
Wonder what he meant by that.
Ah.
Now for some apredinner
couch potatoing.
[static]
And I guarantee,
nay, promise,
clear skies for this morning's
soap sculpture parade.
[thunder cracking]
In other weather news...
[clearing throat]
Thanks, Fritz,
but enough about the weather.
We've got real news to report.
Firefighters rescued
little Timmy Miller's
pet hamster Chaucer
from the top
of a 20-foot oak.
And from Landfill Park
to the harbor,
that's it for today's news.
But wait.
I had more on the weather.
Oh, do you, now?
Haven't you destroyed enough
lives for one morning?
You've got a lot of nerve
forecasting it's
gonna be a clear day.
Well, isn't it?
Does that answer
your question?
You know, as a weatherman,
you are all wet, pal.
If I had real
forecasting tools,
I could predict
the weather better.
But no.
The station refuses
to treat its weathermen
- with any respect.
- Ho hum.
Like I haven't heard
this boring tirade
a dozen times before.
I'm a professional,
you hear me?
I've had 13 years of
meteorological college.
Someday, I'll teach you all
to take me and
my weather seriously.
Good news, Fritz.
Statistics show we can
increase our viewing audience
with children under four
if you wear a clown suit
while doing the weather.
[both laughing]
- That's rich.
- Yeah, that's a good one.
I will not tolerate
this lack of respect
for my profession.
- [grunting]
- Hey! Whoa!
That's it, Fritz Drizzle.
You're fired.
- You're out of here.
- For now.
But I'll be back.
To take my revenge
against you,
this TV station,
and while I'm
spreading it around,
all of Edge City!
Now that is one
tempestuous fellow.
[Fritz panting]
I'll show
those small-minded fools.
They think weather
is to be taken lightly?
I'll give 'em something else
to think about.
A little tweak here,
a little adjustment there,
and lots of kicking here,
will spin Edge City's weather
satellite out of control.
Let's see how well
they get along
with no weather forecasts
at all!
[beeping]
[alarm sounding]
[thunder cracking]
[screaming]
I feel different.
So full of energy.
As if...
[sizzling]
Yes! It's true.
I've been imbued
with the awesome power
of weather itself.
And now the time has come
to make them fear that power,
to fear the power of...
...the Tempest!
[laughing maniacally]
Now, another round
of chili cheeseburgers
Here's a check for the chow,
my good man,
and a little something extra
for your retirement fund.
[gulps]
Hey, what gives?
These are pinkish.
I ordered them well-done.
[chuckling] That's a bit
too well-done.
[laughing]
[shouting]
All right,
who's the wise guy?
I don't know
who you are, pal,
but your funny costume
is about to get
some serious alterations.
[chuckling]
Gone like the wind, huh?
Behold!
The power of weather
is at my fingertips.
Oh, speaking of
fingertips, darling,
all those lightning bolts
are drying your cuticles
something awful.
Ah. You know,
I have noticed
some flakiness
every now and then.
How dare you
mock the Tempest?
The Tempest?
I thought you were just that
weather wimp, Fritz Drizzle.
Hmm? I was.
Until an electrical charge
from a satellite,
after being filtered
through the charged ions
of a thunderstorm,
imbued me with the power
- of weather itself.
- Oh, yeah, uh-huh.
Oh, look, a half-off coupon
on doggie biscuits.
Mm-hmm, great.
You insolent swine.
Feel the power of my wind!
Soon as those chili burgers
kick in,
you're gonna feel
the power of my wind!
Now then,
by my calculations
all I've got to do
is hit that awning
at a 22 degree angle
undit will most
certainly break my fall.
[thudding]
Well, it was
a good theory, anyhoo.
[groans]
[Mask yodeling]
[panting] Ooh.
Was quite a climb,
I long to tell you, ya.
A nice hot cup of cocoa
would really hit the spot, ya.
Oh, I'm fresh out of cocoa,
but, uh...
...how's this for hot?
- [bell ringing]
- All right, you big nothing.
I'm gonna punch you so hard,
your grandma's gonna need
stitches, know what I'm saying?
Oh, my. Such a temper.
I think you need
to chill... out.
[chuckles]
And now that I've put him
in the deep freeze...
I can take my vengeance
upon the rest of the city.
[laughing]
[cracking]
[gurgling]
Oh, man.
[stuttering]
This is cold.
[gasps] The Mask!
No!
[struggling] I gotta
break out of this cube
before I freeze to death.
OK, if I can just tip over.
Whoa!
Wait, stop!
[shouting]
[continues shouting]
[shivering]
The Mask has gotta be around
here somewhere, doesn't it?
[sneezing]
Oh, I gotta go warm up
before I catch pneumonia.
Disaster struck the annual
soap sculpture parade today,
as the rain poured down
entrants were sudsed.
[explosion]
What was...
[yelling]
Ladies and gentlemen,
we seem to be under
some sort of wind attack.
Wind attack nothing.
You're in the grip of
the tempest of the century.
Me.
Look here, you, we're in
the middle of a broadcast.
- You can't...
- Oh, can't I?
And now, a word
from our sponsors.
Don't you dare
turn that camera off.
[stammering]
Yes, sir. No, sir.
[shivering]
So cold.
Oh, I'm so cold.
Maybe something warm
is on TV, huh?
Yeah, something with beaches
and sunshine and babes.
Hello. The weather forecast
for Edge City is disaster.
Unless my demands are met.
I want a giant monument,
taller than the Eiffel Tower
erected to honor that great,
but unappreciated weatherman,
Fritz Drizzle.
Who is this nut?
And, just to prove
that I mean business,
I'm, uh, planning
a little demonstration
of my torrential power!
A blizzard that will
bring the entire city
to a standstill.
[laughing]
Oh, I would have
to lose the Mask now.
I mean, who else is gonna
stop a nut like this?
[phone ringing]
Ooh, uh...
Who's calling, please?
Collection agency?
But I didn't eat any...
[whimpers] The Mask!
I dig.
Think, Stanley,
think, think, think.
Uh, OK, if I work overtime
at the bank all week,
I should have just enough
money to pay off...
- [phone ringing]
- Hello?
Hey, Stanley,
Charlie here.
It looks like the bank is gonna
be closed down for a while
because of the blizzard.
What? No, they can't do...
Yep, matter of fact, every
business in town is closed.
Except the post office.
You know, they got
that dumb motto,
"Rain, sleet or snow,
the mail's gotta go"
or something.
Well, ta-ta.
I'm off to rustle me up
some ski bunnies.
[sighing]
Well, Milo, old pal,
looks like the only way
for me to pay off this bill
is to take another job, and...
...since there's
only one available...
Congratulations, son.
You are now a member
of the US Postal Service.
Here's your standard
issue uniform,
your standard issue shoes,
your standard issue postal bag,
and your standard issue
can of dog repellent.
Now get out there
and deliver that mail.
[laughing]
Ah, look at the lovely
devastation I have wrought
with my blizzard.
Ah, the entire city
is at a standstill
no one is able to work,
all goods and services
have been halted.
Oh, beautiful, beautiful.
Wait. What's this?
[grunting] Today would
have to be the day
the book club sends everybody
a free encyclopedia set.
[grumbling]
How dare some pathetic
postman defy me?
Sic him, boy.
Okay, now where is 358E?
I see "C", I see "D"
and "F", but no "E."
Oh, I can't think
with that stupid train
making all that noise.
Wait a minute.
The trains aren't running
in this blizzard.
[shouting]
[shouting]
[laughing]
Behold the awesome and
deadly power of weather.
[shouting]
Whoo! Time to get off
this tilt-a-whirl.
Daddy's feeling a little
green around the gills.
I'll take potpourri
for 500, Alex.
Oh, baby,
that feels so good.
All right, sister twister.
It's you and me.
Ooh, come on and be a good
little natural disaster.
Play nice now.
[grunts]
OK, you big windbag,
two can play at that game.
[inhaling]
Ptooey!
[burping]
Whoa. Major heartburn.
[chuckles] Break out
the life rafts, Edge City,
'cause it's gonna rain like
it's never rained before.
I'll take 75 anchovy
and mayonnaise pizzas,
twenty-three pepperoni
and peanut butter pizzas,
two with extra sushi and 52...
[quacking]
Hmm. This pizza seems a tad
on the soggy side.
OK, who's the doofus
who forgot to jiggle
the handle on the toilet?
[indistinct chatter]
It's that weather weirdo again.
He's ruining my city!
Only I get to do that.
[Tempest] Finally,
the city trembles
before the terrible power
of the Tempest!
Just wait until they hear
tomorrow's forecast.
It's going to be
unseasonably deadly.
[Mask] Say there.
You wouldn't have a spare towel
on you, would you?
No? Well, then,
I'm just gonna have to
dry off doggie style.
Oh, do let me help.
A little heat lightning
can do wonders.
Sorry, but I chafe
rather easily.
On account of my dainty,
girlish complexion.
[giggling]
[tsking]
Such disrespect.
Time for you to
hail to the Chief!
You call that a pitch?
[grunts]
Time for you
to hit the showers.
Now, where is
that weather weenie?
The Tempest is no weenie,
you green monstrosity.
I command the elements.
Behold.
[thunder cracking]
Hmm. Not good.
[shouting]
Oh, I am sorry.
What you need is
a little soothing water
to wipe away
those salty tears.
[gurgling]
That's it.
I can't take anymore.
Like a green rat,
trying to escape
a sinking ship.
No, more like a plumber trying
to unplug a stinky drain.
Sorry, weather boy,
but it looks like
your career has gone...
Dare I say it?
...down the drain.
[sighing]
Well, nothing like defeating
a demented meteorologist
to build up an appetite.
[chuckling]
[burps]