The Mask (1995–1997): Season 1, Episode 5 - The Mask Is Always Greener on the Other Side: Part 1 - full transcript
♪ I gotcha
with my winnin' smile ♪
♪ I'm a livin' lesson
in flair and style ♪
♪ You just can't help
but stare at my savoir-faire ♪
♪ I'm nouveau deco
Roman Greco ♪
♪ Rococo baroque-o
bebop and hip-hop ♪
♪ Uh flip-flop
somebody stop me ♪
♪ Pretty viridian faces ♪
♪ Like mine ♪
♪ Don't come
a dime a dozen ♪
♪ I stand out in a crowd ♪
♪ Babe when they made me
yeah they broke the mold ♪
♪ Wholesome and kind
staid and refined ♪
♪ Totally out of my mind ♪
♪ Arch villains
and ne'er-do-wells ♪
♪ Had better learn
to decorate prison cells ♪
♪ Green goes with anything
if they ask see ♪
♪ Well there's one last
thing I gotta sing about ♪
♪ Open up wide
and really shout ♪
♪ Oh look out ♪
♪ This is the mask ♪♪
S-s-smokin'!
[instrumental music]
[indistinct chattering]
[screaming]
Nobody clears a room
like you, Walter.
Say, this place calls for
more appropriate attire.
Wardrobe!
So you think
you know Kung Fu?
Hm! Okay, then.
Let's fight.
Hyah!
Ooh!
Your Kung Fu is good
but you need discipline.
Ugh.
Your discipline improves,
Walt-san.
[comical music]
(Pretorius)
'No matter how much punishment
the Mask takes'
it never leaves a mark.
He always comes back
for more, sir.
Maybe he likes it.
Hmm...perhaps.
Mental note.
His invulnerability
could prove useful.
[gunshots]
I'm Mozart,
the talking dog.
Woof! Woof!
[whimpers]
Woof! Woof!
Oh! Huh?
Fortune cookies?
Whoa! What happened
last night, Milo?
I went on that date
I've been planning for a year.
And then, ugh, and then
Walter showed up, and the mask..
[gasps]
The mask!
The mask. Oh, Milo.
The mask insulted my date.
He left her in a lurch
with egg foo young on her face.
Oh, she's gonna kill me.
[phone rings]
- Hello!
- Stanley!
I thought
you'd never wake up.
Peggy. Oh, Milo,
it's only Peggy.
I thought you were
someone else.
(Peggy)
'Right! Like, who else
calls you?'
'Anyway, listen.'
Meet me at the museum
of history, right away.
[instrumental music]
[yawning]
Tell me what's
so urgent to wake me up
on a Saturday,
Brenda Starr.
Lighten up, Stanley.
- It's a surprise!
- What is it?
Masks?
Masks? Excuse me, Peggy!
After my bumbled date last night
the last thing
I wanna see are masks.
No, come on!
It was meant to be.
The tickets just showed up
on my doorstep this morning.
So, since you rarely have
anything better to do
except spend a year
planning a date
I figured you wouldn't
mind coming along with me to..
Stanley, what's up?
Look.
It's my mask.
Whoa! See?
All that whining and now
you're glad you came.
"This fabled 11th century mask
was known as master of darkness.
'Eater of children's brains."'
Peggy, help me!
I'm a brain-eating ghoul!
Oh, pooh. It's an 11th century
superstition.
TV's the only thing that eats
children's brains nowadays.
Now, wait a minute.
The mask was rude
to my date.
What if that's
the first sign of
the hunger?
The mask isn't a ghoul.
Look at the good
he's done for my career..
I-I mean, the city.
Oh, come on,
you know as well as I do
the mask would rather
do water polo night
at the cocobongo
than fight crime.
[gasps]
Another mask.
"Legend refers to this
as the sister mask."
Cool! The city could use
a good female crime fighter.
Not sister as in girl, Peggy.
Okay, "One should never,
ever wear the mask
"without the sister mask.
"Lest ye unleash
all manner of evil
and brain-eating madness!"
Man, those people got
carried away
with the brain-eating stuff.
(Stanley)
'"Worn alone the sister mask
wields no power.'
'"When the two masks are joined'
'"the sister mask
bestows the wearer'
'"control over
the dark forces within.'
'"Only then is there hope
to turn the mask's dark forces'
'to the cause of good."'
Well, no wonder the mask's
so unpredictable, Pegg.
I've been wearing
the bad boy mask.
With that sister mask,
I could be in charge.
Peggy, I could teach
the mask manners!
Uhm, nothing personal
but the thought of you
controlling the mask sounds..
...well, boring.
Should I remove the mask?
'It's for a good cause.'
Peggy, say hello to a new era
for the mask.
How about goodbye?
I gotta go, Stanley.
All this excitement
is too much for me.
[instrumental music]
Well, we like sister mask.
Don't we, Milo?
Don't we, buddy?
Don't we like them?
No, no! No, Milo!
[growling]
Sister mask
is not a chew toy.
No, it's the key
to making the mask
an all-around nicer guy..
...like me.
[whimpering]
[intense music]
[grunting]
Okay, righteously.
For the greater good of man
from this moment on
I will bring wholesomeness
to the heart
of every citizen.
Even the lowland creatures
will eat from my hand.
Aah! Bug!
Splat!
My, that wasn't very angelic.
What a gyp!
This sister mask
doesn't work at all.
I ought to take it back
to the 11th century
for a refund.
And just what is this
goofball thing on my head?
[gong dings]
Greetings, Mask.
Hey, Pretorius!
What's shakin', bub?
We got matching tattoos.
But not for long.
[beeping]
bang
Well, that was
completely unexpected.
Of course it was.
From this moment, Mask
I will dictate
your every action.
For you are now..
...my puppet.
Puppet. Puppet?
Who you calling puppet, pal?
Come on. Show yourself
so's I can box your ears.
I'm a wreckin' machine.
Oh, I don't have
to show myself
since I have you
to do my bidding.
Anything I command
is yours to obey.
bam bam bam
My sister mask has taken
possession of your own
allowing me to utilize
your unique talents
at my whim.
I...am in
the driver's seat now.
Oh, yeah?
Well, there's one thing
you didn't bargain for,
Pretorius.
Me taking
the sister mask off.
[straining]
Fascinating apparatus, no?
I created the sister mask
in my lab
fed the museum tickets
to your reporter friend
and led your alter ego
on the perfectly constructed
goose chase.
[barks]
Thanks for
the exposition, bub.
Why not just jump me
in a parking lot
and take my darn mask?
Oh, I'm no longer interested
in your mask
for its own sake.
I have other goals.
[growling]
(Pretorius)
Goals which require someone
of an invulnerable disposition.
Namely..
...you.
We'll see who's pulling
whose strings, gepetto.
clang clang clang
(Agnes Peenman)
'Hey, Ipkiss!
Pipe down over there!'
Oh la la.
I see further
demonstration is needed
to prove you are
my marionette.
Perhaps your neighbor
could be of assistance.
Are you..
...fond of her?
Mrs. Peenman?
Oh, yeah, like I'm fond
of Montezuma's revenge.
Then perhaps
you would enjoy
planting a great
big fat one
on her full red lips.
No!
No, you wouldn't!
[intense music]
No!
No! Argh!
(Pretorius)
'You're making this harder'
'than it has to be.'
[grunting]
You haven't seen her!
(woman on TV)
'Straws. S-T-R-A-W-S.'
You!
For both our sakes
but especially mine..
...run!
[comical music]
[both screaming]
thud
vroom
[panting]
gulp gulp gulp
splat
You're not gonna get away
with this, Mr. Sick Puppy.
Enough histrionics.
[intense music]
(Pretorius)
'Head towards
the outskirts of town.'
'The time has come
to begin your first task.'
[panting]
[music continues]
'You need to get
inside the base.'
'Some digging equipment
will be in order.'
[whirring]
P-tooey!
You know, I really meant
to turn left
to the groundhog
family's hutch.
(Pretorius)
'Our goal lies'
'within that bunker.'
Cease and desist!
Oh, you mean this isn't
the Fresno furry friends
arts and crafts fair?
Well, I'll just be goin'
now, okay?
Okay. Bubye.
Hey!
[whistle blows]
[siren wailing]
I am leaving now.
Really, I am.
Mask, it's time
you became a vehicle
of absolute destruction
like, oh, say..
The deadly robot.
Robot schmobot.
slurp
How's this for absolute
destruction, doc?
Huh? Huh?
[instrumental music]
[banging]
Sorry, Mr. Army Man.
Guard that bunker!
[indistinct shouting]
Guys, this is
nothing personal, really.
thwack
(male #1)
'Move back,
kid with amazing powers.'
'Throw down your weapon!'
I think we should listen
to the nice helicopters.
Don't you off voice
inside my head
making me do bad things.
Ooh la la.
But what makes you think
we would give up so easily?
Bells and whistles, Pretorius.
So I can fly.
Big deal.
(male #1)
'Emergency landing!'
Ooh!
You got a bad disposition.
boom
pew pew pew
[tires screeching]
Milo!
[barking]
Right!
Like I can understand you.
[intense music]
Mayday! Mayday!
I'm s-s-smokin'!
boom
Adrian!
[gunshots]
Uh, I thought I loaded this
with flags
with funny words on 'em.
Firearms bad.
Oh, I must use mask
for good.
Bad firearms.
Must use mask for good.
[grunting]
[beeping]
Yes!
Give peace a chance!
pow pow pow
boom
Watch out, I might
transform into
a four-speed blender
or something.
Fine idea, Mask.
These shenanigans keep us
from more important matters.
Eavesdropper.
swish
whoosh
Retreat, men!
He's gonna blow!
Boys, this is gonna hurt me
more than it's gonna hurt you.
boom
Ouch.
I knew your invulnerability
would prove useful.
'Now fetch it here, Mask.'
[tires screeching]
Stop the presses!
What happened here?
Some guy in a mask broke in
kicked our butts
and stole somethin' top secret.
Which way did he go?
[groans]
Never mind.
[sniffing]
[intense music]
Honey, I'm home!
Hey, nice lab.
Looks just like the last one.
It is the last one.
Due to your prior meddling
I've been forced
to relocate.
Now! The meteor fragment.
Please!
Oh, what meteor fragment?
Thank you.
You know, the surgeon general
has determined
that being evil
has been known
to cause bad karma
in laboratory rats.
Oh, you misunderstand me.
I'm not evil.
I'm a scientist.
A chaos theorist.
'It's just that in my pursuit
for scientific truth'
the innocents
are bound to be harmed.
[growling]
Shh!
Such is the way
of chaos.
This meteor fragment,
for instance
is no ordinary chunk
of space rock.
It has very special
properties.
Behold!
[zaps]
The power of invisibility!
[gasps]
That's great, Pretorius.
But does he do parties?
Three other such fragments
have recently
fallen to earth
all guarded at military bases
around the world.
'Each fragment possesses
a different characteristic.'
'Fragment two
will transform a man'
'into an unstoppable being
made of flame.'
'Fragment three
will bestow a man'
'with elastic properties.'
'And the fourth..'
'A strength-enhanced man'
'of unbreakable rock.'
Just like in
the comic book.
Now it's time
for your next errand.
This time to Beirut
to secure
the second fragment.
Sorry, I don't travel without
honey roasted peanuts.
Oh, yes, you will.
[intense music]
Boy, is this story gonna
sell newspapers!
[growling]
Hm, before we can proceed
it seems there are distractions
that need tending.
[beeping]
[gasps]
Hey, Pretorius.
I hate the press, too.
But this seems a little extreme.
[barking]
Come here, little bow-wow.
This is gonna hurt us both.
But not in the same place.
[laughs]
Somebody stop me!
No! Okay, uh, maskey pal.
'How many times have I
got you on page one?'
[grunting]
We're buds, remember?
(Pretorius)
'The mask is fully cognizant'
though not in control
of his actions.
That's the beauty of it.
[barking]
- Hey!
- What!
Hey! I can move!
Watch me now!
[upbeat music]
No remote, no control.
Goodbye, sister mask.
[grunting]
[grunting]
Don't just stand there!
[intense music]
Come on! You 'ol buddy.
You want some?
Okay. Say hello
to the real mask.
Wooh! Waah!
[grunting]
[chuckles]
Oh. Wrong mask.
Ugh!
Stanley...oh!
Oh! Ooh!
Hey! Ooh!
[grunting]
Why, you..
(male #2)
'Hey!'
[male #2 groaning]
Ouch!
Funny, you don't
feel invisible.
[grunting]
Ah! Help!
Oh, Peggy!
Stanley, catch!
[screams]
[dramatic music]
[growling]
Hmm, I can see now
that I am more
than just a scientist.
I actually am evil!
I could've told you that.
Run!
[music continues]
[growling]
[whimpers]
[music continues]
[panting]
Hey, it's those guys.
What happened
to big head?
[snarling]
There will be no escape
this time, Mr. Ipkiss.
[screams]
Time to give myself..
...a cookie.
Ah, you should never eat
anything bigger than your head.
That means us.
Hey!
Milo!
Take this!
[growling]
[zapping]
'Fools!'
The sister mask
is useless
without the remote control.
Thank you.
Now, there. Would you like
to see some payback, Peggy?
I know I would.
Oh, puppet!
Become an object
of absolute destruction
like, say, hmm..
...a soccer ball!
No!
This is for making me
kick my dog.
[comical music]
Hey, you like
wearing the mask, huh?
'Oh, that's great.'
Try getting a date
with it, creep.
[beeping]
And this..
...this is for
dashing my hopes
of actually being able
to control the mask someday.
Uh! Let me guess.
'You're never, ever going
to wear the mask again.'
- 'Huh, Stanley?'
- 'Au contraire.'
I know someone who'd like
to get a few licks in.
I'm back!
And I understand it's water polo
night at the cocobongo!
But first, Pretorius
and I have some..
'catching up to do.'
[screams]
Squeal, Pretorius!
Squeal!
with my winnin' smile ♪
♪ I'm a livin' lesson
in flair and style ♪
♪ You just can't help
but stare at my savoir-faire ♪
♪ I'm nouveau deco
Roman Greco ♪
♪ Rococo baroque-o
bebop and hip-hop ♪
♪ Uh flip-flop
somebody stop me ♪
♪ Pretty viridian faces ♪
♪ Like mine ♪
♪ Don't come
a dime a dozen ♪
♪ I stand out in a crowd ♪
♪ Babe when they made me
yeah they broke the mold ♪
♪ Wholesome and kind
staid and refined ♪
♪ Totally out of my mind ♪
♪ Arch villains
and ne'er-do-wells ♪
♪ Had better learn
to decorate prison cells ♪
♪ Green goes with anything
if they ask see ♪
♪ Well there's one last
thing I gotta sing about ♪
♪ Open up wide
and really shout ♪
♪ Oh look out ♪
♪ This is the mask ♪♪
S-s-smokin'!
[instrumental music]
[indistinct chattering]
[screaming]
Nobody clears a room
like you, Walter.
Say, this place calls for
more appropriate attire.
Wardrobe!
So you think
you know Kung Fu?
Hm! Okay, then.
Let's fight.
Hyah!
Ooh!
Your Kung Fu is good
but you need discipline.
Ugh.
Your discipline improves,
Walt-san.
[comical music]
(Pretorius)
'No matter how much punishment
the Mask takes'
it never leaves a mark.
He always comes back
for more, sir.
Maybe he likes it.
Hmm...perhaps.
Mental note.
His invulnerability
could prove useful.
[gunshots]
I'm Mozart,
the talking dog.
Woof! Woof!
[whimpers]
Woof! Woof!
Oh! Huh?
Fortune cookies?
Whoa! What happened
last night, Milo?
I went on that date
I've been planning for a year.
And then, ugh, and then
Walter showed up, and the mask..
[gasps]
The mask!
The mask. Oh, Milo.
The mask insulted my date.
He left her in a lurch
with egg foo young on her face.
Oh, she's gonna kill me.
[phone rings]
- Hello!
- Stanley!
I thought
you'd never wake up.
Peggy. Oh, Milo,
it's only Peggy.
I thought you were
someone else.
(Peggy)
'Right! Like, who else
calls you?'
'Anyway, listen.'
Meet me at the museum
of history, right away.
[instrumental music]
[yawning]
Tell me what's
so urgent to wake me up
on a Saturday,
Brenda Starr.
Lighten up, Stanley.
- It's a surprise!
- What is it?
Masks?
Masks? Excuse me, Peggy!
After my bumbled date last night
the last thing
I wanna see are masks.
No, come on!
It was meant to be.
The tickets just showed up
on my doorstep this morning.
So, since you rarely have
anything better to do
except spend a year
planning a date
I figured you wouldn't
mind coming along with me to..
Stanley, what's up?
Look.
It's my mask.
Whoa! See?
All that whining and now
you're glad you came.
"This fabled 11th century mask
was known as master of darkness.
'Eater of children's brains."'
Peggy, help me!
I'm a brain-eating ghoul!
Oh, pooh. It's an 11th century
superstition.
TV's the only thing that eats
children's brains nowadays.
Now, wait a minute.
The mask was rude
to my date.
What if that's
the first sign of
the hunger?
The mask isn't a ghoul.
Look at the good
he's done for my career..
I-I mean, the city.
Oh, come on,
you know as well as I do
the mask would rather
do water polo night
at the cocobongo
than fight crime.
[gasps]
Another mask.
"Legend refers to this
as the sister mask."
Cool! The city could use
a good female crime fighter.
Not sister as in girl, Peggy.
Okay, "One should never,
ever wear the mask
"without the sister mask.
"Lest ye unleash
all manner of evil
and brain-eating madness!"
Man, those people got
carried away
with the brain-eating stuff.
(Stanley)
'"Worn alone the sister mask
wields no power.'
'"When the two masks are joined'
'"the sister mask
bestows the wearer'
'"control over
the dark forces within.'
'"Only then is there hope
to turn the mask's dark forces'
'to the cause of good."'
Well, no wonder the mask's
so unpredictable, Pegg.
I've been wearing
the bad boy mask.
With that sister mask,
I could be in charge.
Peggy, I could teach
the mask manners!
Uhm, nothing personal
but the thought of you
controlling the mask sounds..
...well, boring.
Should I remove the mask?
'It's for a good cause.'
Peggy, say hello to a new era
for the mask.
How about goodbye?
I gotta go, Stanley.
All this excitement
is too much for me.
[instrumental music]
Well, we like sister mask.
Don't we, Milo?
Don't we, buddy?
Don't we like them?
No, no! No, Milo!
[growling]
Sister mask
is not a chew toy.
No, it's the key
to making the mask
an all-around nicer guy..
...like me.
[whimpering]
[intense music]
[grunting]
Okay, righteously.
For the greater good of man
from this moment on
I will bring wholesomeness
to the heart
of every citizen.
Even the lowland creatures
will eat from my hand.
Aah! Bug!
Splat!
My, that wasn't very angelic.
What a gyp!
This sister mask
doesn't work at all.
I ought to take it back
to the 11th century
for a refund.
And just what is this
goofball thing on my head?
[gong dings]
Greetings, Mask.
Hey, Pretorius!
What's shakin', bub?
We got matching tattoos.
But not for long.
[beeping]
bang
Well, that was
completely unexpected.
Of course it was.
From this moment, Mask
I will dictate
your every action.
For you are now..
...my puppet.
Puppet. Puppet?
Who you calling puppet, pal?
Come on. Show yourself
so's I can box your ears.
I'm a wreckin' machine.
Oh, I don't have
to show myself
since I have you
to do my bidding.
Anything I command
is yours to obey.
bam bam bam
My sister mask has taken
possession of your own
allowing me to utilize
your unique talents
at my whim.
I...am in
the driver's seat now.
Oh, yeah?
Well, there's one thing
you didn't bargain for,
Pretorius.
Me taking
the sister mask off.
[straining]
Fascinating apparatus, no?
I created the sister mask
in my lab
fed the museum tickets
to your reporter friend
and led your alter ego
on the perfectly constructed
goose chase.
[barks]
Thanks for
the exposition, bub.
Why not just jump me
in a parking lot
and take my darn mask?
Oh, I'm no longer interested
in your mask
for its own sake.
I have other goals.
[growling]
(Pretorius)
Goals which require someone
of an invulnerable disposition.
Namely..
...you.
We'll see who's pulling
whose strings, gepetto.
clang clang clang
(Agnes Peenman)
'Hey, Ipkiss!
Pipe down over there!'
Oh la la.
I see further
demonstration is needed
to prove you are
my marionette.
Perhaps your neighbor
could be of assistance.
Are you..
...fond of her?
Mrs. Peenman?
Oh, yeah, like I'm fond
of Montezuma's revenge.
Then perhaps
you would enjoy
planting a great
big fat one
on her full red lips.
No!
No, you wouldn't!
[intense music]
No!
No! Argh!
(Pretorius)
'You're making this harder'
'than it has to be.'
[grunting]
You haven't seen her!
(woman on TV)
'Straws. S-T-R-A-W-S.'
You!
For both our sakes
but especially mine..
...run!
[comical music]
[both screaming]
thud
vroom
[panting]
gulp gulp gulp
splat
You're not gonna get away
with this, Mr. Sick Puppy.
Enough histrionics.
[intense music]
(Pretorius)
'Head towards
the outskirts of town.'
'The time has come
to begin your first task.'
[panting]
[music continues]
'You need to get
inside the base.'
'Some digging equipment
will be in order.'
[whirring]
P-tooey!
You know, I really meant
to turn left
to the groundhog
family's hutch.
(Pretorius)
'Our goal lies'
'within that bunker.'
Cease and desist!
Oh, you mean this isn't
the Fresno furry friends
arts and crafts fair?
Well, I'll just be goin'
now, okay?
Okay. Bubye.
Hey!
[whistle blows]
[siren wailing]
I am leaving now.
Really, I am.
Mask, it's time
you became a vehicle
of absolute destruction
like, oh, say..
The deadly robot.
Robot schmobot.
slurp
How's this for absolute
destruction, doc?
Huh? Huh?
[instrumental music]
[banging]
Sorry, Mr. Army Man.
Guard that bunker!
[indistinct shouting]
Guys, this is
nothing personal, really.
thwack
(male #1)
'Move back,
kid with amazing powers.'
'Throw down your weapon!'
I think we should listen
to the nice helicopters.
Don't you off voice
inside my head
making me do bad things.
Ooh la la.
But what makes you think
we would give up so easily?
Bells and whistles, Pretorius.
So I can fly.
Big deal.
(male #1)
'Emergency landing!'
Ooh!
You got a bad disposition.
boom
pew pew pew
[tires screeching]
Milo!
[barking]
Right!
Like I can understand you.
[intense music]
Mayday! Mayday!
I'm s-s-smokin'!
boom
Adrian!
[gunshots]
Uh, I thought I loaded this
with flags
with funny words on 'em.
Firearms bad.
Oh, I must use mask
for good.
Bad firearms.
Must use mask for good.
[grunting]
[beeping]
Yes!
Give peace a chance!
pow pow pow
boom
Watch out, I might
transform into
a four-speed blender
or something.
Fine idea, Mask.
These shenanigans keep us
from more important matters.
Eavesdropper.
swish
whoosh
Retreat, men!
He's gonna blow!
Boys, this is gonna hurt me
more than it's gonna hurt you.
boom
Ouch.
I knew your invulnerability
would prove useful.
'Now fetch it here, Mask.'
[tires screeching]
Stop the presses!
What happened here?
Some guy in a mask broke in
kicked our butts
and stole somethin' top secret.
Which way did he go?
[groans]
Never mind.
[sniffing]
[intense music]
Honey, I'm home!
Hey, nice lab.
Looks just like the last one.
It is the last one.
Due to your prior meddling
I've been forced
to relocate.
Now! The meteor fragment.
Please!
Oh, what meteor fragment?
Thank you.
You know, the surgeon general
has determined
that being evil
has been known
to cause bad karma
in laboratory rats.
Oh, you misunderstand me.
I'm not evil.
I'm a scientist.
A chaos theorist.
'It's just that in my pursuit
for scientific truth'
the innocents
are bound to be harmed.
[growling]
Shh!
Such is the way
of chaos.
This meteor fragment,
for instance
is no ordinary chunk
of space rock.
It has very special
properties.
Behold!
[zaps]
The power of invisibility!
[gasps]
That's great, Pretorius.
But does he do parties?
Three other such fragments
have recently
fallen to earth
all guarded at military bases
around the world.
'Each fragment possesses
a different characteristic.'
'Fragment two
will transform a man'
'into an unstoppable being
made of flame.'
'Fragment three
will bestow a man'
'with elastic properties.'
'And the fourth..'
'A strength-enhanced man'
'of unbreakable rock.'
Just like in
the comic book.
Now it's time
for your next errand.
This time to Beirut
to secure
the second fragment.
Sorry, I don't travel without
honey roasted peanuts.
Oh, yes, you will.
[intense music]
Boy, is this story gonna
sell newspapers!
[growling]
Hm, before we can proceed
it seems there are distractions
that need tending.
[beeping]
[gasps]
Hey, Pretorius.
I hate the press, too.
But this seems a little extreme.
[barking]
Come here, little bow-wow.
This is gonna hurt us both.
But not in the same place.
[laughs]
Somebody stop me!
No! Okay, uh, maskey pal.
'How many times have I
got you on page one?'
[grunting]
We're buds, remember?
(Pretorius)
'The mask is fully cognizant'
though not in control
of his actions.
That's the beauty of it.
[barking]
- Hey!
- What!
Hey! I can move!
Watch me now!
[upbeat music]
No remote, no control.
Goodbye, sister mask.
[grunting]
[grunting]
Don't just stand there!
[intense music]
Come on! You 'ol buddy.
You want some?
Okay. Say hello
to the real mask.
Wooh! Waah!
[grunting]
[chuckles]
Oh. Wrong mask.
Ugh!
Stanley...oh!
Oh! Ooh!
Hey! Ooh!
[grunting]
Why, you..
(male #2)
'Hey!'
[male #2 groaning]
Ouch!
Funny, you don't
feel invisible.
[grunting]
Ah! Help!
Oh, Peggy!
Stanley, catch!
[screams]
[dramatic music]
[growling]
Hmm, I can see now
that I am more
than just a scientist.
I actually am evil!
I could've told you that.
Run!
[music continues]
[growling]
[whimpers]
[music continues]
[panting]
Hey, it's those guys.
What happened
to big head?
[snarling]
There will be no escape
this time, Mr. Ipkiss.
[screams]
Time to give myself..
...a cookie.
Ah, you should never eat
anything bigger than your head.
That means us.
Hey!
Milo!
Take this!
[growling]
[zapping]
'Fools!'
The sister mask
is useless
without the remote control.
Thank you.
Now, there. Would you like
to see some payback, Peggy?
I know I would.
Oh, puppet!
Become an object
of absolute destruction
like, say, hmm..
...a soccer ball!
No!
This is for making me
kick my dog.
[comical music]
Hey, you like
wearing the mask, huh?
'Oh, that's great.'
Try getting a date
with it, creep.
[beeping]
And this..
...this is for
dashing my hopes
of actually being able
to control the mask someday.
Uh! Let me guess.
'You're never, ever going
to wear the mask again.'
- 'Huh, Stanley?'
- 'Au contraire.'
I know someone who'd like
to get a few licks in.
I'm back!
And I understand it's water polo
night at the cocobongo!
But first, Pretorius
and I have some..
'catching up to do.'
[screams]
Squeal, Pretorius!
Squeal!