The Mask (1995–1997): Season 1, Episode 4 - Sister Mask - full transcript
♪ I gotcha
with my winnin' smile ♪
♪ I'm a livin' lesson
in flair and style ♪
♪ You just can't help but
stare at my savoir-faire ♪
♪ I'm Nouveau
Deco Roman-Greco ♪
♪ Rococo Barroco
bebop and hip-hop ♪
♪ Uh flip-flop ♪
♪ Somebody stop me ♪
♪ Pretty viridian faces
like mine ♪
♪ Don't come a dime a dozen ♪
♪ I stand out in a crowd ♪
♪ Babe when they made me
yeah they broke the mold ♪
♪ Wholesome and kind
staid and refined ♪
♪ Totally out of my mind ♪
♪ Arch villains
and ne'er-do-wells ♪
♪ Had better learn
to decorate prison cells ♪
♪ Green goes with anything
if they ask see ♪
♪ Well there's one last
thing I gotta sing about ♪
♪ Open up wide
and really shout ♪
♪ Oh look out ♪
♪ This is The Mask ♪♪
S-s-s-s-mokin'!
[siren wailing]
[tires screeching]
screech
This youngster hot out
of the miners has broken away
and is leading the pack.
But can he keep his lead?
Can he?
screech screech
[siren wailing]
screech
Here comes
the sadistic clown now.
Wow, how'd you know
he was gonna come here?
screech
Because I have a hunch
the Mask is Stanley Ipkiss.
Lieutenant Kellaway!
Doyle.
Here, look, Milo. Our friendly
neighborhood detectives.
[Milo barks]
[groans]
We followed the Mask
in here, Ipkiss.
We think you've got
something to do with him.
[stammering]
W-whatever gave you that idea?
Yeah, it's not like
we ever seen 'em
talking to each other
or somethin'.
I mean, I have never ever seen
Stanley and the Mask
in the same place. So how do--
You know why you never
see 'em in the same place?
I'll tell you why.
Because Stanley Ipkiss
and the Mask
are the same person.
Wait! Hey, wait a second!
What are.. Come on!
From here on,
you go where I go, Ipkiss.
Um, am I going, too?
You can't pick your nose
without me knowin'.
Eww!
And if you become the Mask
your little secret
won't be so secret anymore.
Lieu-lieutenant,
I'm-I'm going, too.
[tires screeching]
Look, c-could you.. Ah!
Not so.. Ah-ha!
(Doyle over radio)
'Ahem. Uh, lieutenant?'
'Uh, should I
take this to mean'
'that I'm not going, or..'
You know, it occurs to me
Doyle's not like
the other cops, is he?
Let's get something straight
right here in now, Ipkiss.
No one pulls my underwear
over my head
and gets away with it.
[laughs]
Why, that-that felon.
I hope you nail him, Kellaway
and put him behind bars.
[tires screeches]
[clanking]
Aww! What?
What is it? Crime in progress?
No. I'm thirsty,
and the car needs oil.
♪ Oom-tee poodly
oom-tee poodly ♪
♪ Oom-tee poodly
di-da-vun ♪♪
Stanley!
Pepe! Ha!
One complimentary
nobody's-paying slushy!
achoo
Still thirsty?
[laughs]
Drink up,
my square-jawed friend!
Quick! Those kids!
They're loitering!
We're just reading the pictures.
Yeah. Gear down, man.
This is no library! Beat it!
You kids are ruining the world!
Come on, Ipkiss.
I want as many miles
as possible
'between me
and that monkey hair slushy.'
Wow. What a..
...jerk.
Yeah, Eddie. We should go
whoomp him or something.
[laughs]
Know what?
Be easy if we were Insector
the Bugman, though.
Yeah.
Dak, how can we both
be Insector the Bugman?
- He's only one guy.
- Ah! Easy.
We both get bitten
by radioactive bugs.
And then we'd be..
...one guy?
No, we'd be two guys
but we'd both be
Insector the Bugman.
Okay.
Then, then we could
whoomp that cop
or something.
Ooh! Like...revenge?
(Dak)
'Yeah. Revenge.'
[laughter]
(male #1 over radio)
'Kellaway, code 1428.
Warehouse district.'
'Roll, roll, roll!'
screech
screech
screech
Ow! Whoa!
What's going on here?
[gasping]
Sir, Art Nouveau and his gang
are holed up inside
and they're
threatening to, like
blow up the entire block
unless their demands are met.
Nouveau. He's bluffing.
He's an art forger,
not a bomber.
Come on, Ipkiss.
We're goin' in.
But, sir,
it's a dynamite factory!
'It, you know,
wouldn't take very much'
'at all to blow up
this particular city block.'
Wait! He said..
Oow!
Hey...Kellaway!
This is a dynamite factory.
This is bad.
That's what I've been
trying to tell you!
I told you
to keep everyone back.
But would you listen?
'No!'
Well, now it's time
for the next
big explosion in art!
Wait! Listen, M-Mr. Nouveau.
Hi. Ahem.
Sir, have you considered
that if you're standing
right next to the explosives,
when you set them off.
It's not only going to blow up
blow up the entire block
but, you know, you, too, sir?
Oh!
Ah, I was this close
to doing it, too.
[screams]
[sighs]
It's gonna blow!
'We gotta stop
that dynamite'
before someone gets hurt!
- 'It's a meltdown! Run!'
- 'Run! Run!'
[alarm blaring]
[indistinct chatter]
Oh, cool.
Now where's the bug?
I thought you brought the bug.
No. You were
supposed to bring it.
- Bummer.
- Bummer.
Okay. Alright. Okay.
Now we're radioactive
and we've got no bug
to bite us.
Yeah, and I don't
feel so good.
You know, I don't
feel so good, too.
[both groans]
[siren wailing]
screech
[both gasps]
- Look out!
- Run!
Well, yoo-hoo to you, too!
click click click
Huh! This is
a good thing, right?
(male #2 on PA)
Hot dog!
Hot dog!
Yee-ha!
Uh, My baby!
[chuckles]
Oh, my gosh!
[siren wailing]
[screams]
crash
[tires screeching]
screech
Are things always
this strange out on patrol?
[whooshing]
[glass shatters]
Yo, Eddie, check it out.
I'm-I'm some kind
of putty thing.
'And I'm..'
...I'm a fish guy!
Yeah, you are.
Whoa. Pretty strange.
[both panting]
Whoa. Alright.
Uh, what do we do now?
I don't know. Do I smell?
Hey, let's wreck stuff!
Come on!
[grunting]
Coming.
I'm a fish. Wait up.
[car honking]
Ahh!
[both panting]
[both gasps]
[both groans]
Ha ha ha!
Ow! My fin.
Whoa. Scope this out.
Look, I can stre-e-e-e-etch
all over the place.
Ooh. Oh-oh, look.
I'm hard as a rock.
thud
[rumbles]
Ho ho!
Is that full-on
righteous or what?
I guess.
Aw, come on, uh, fish-guy.
What's wrong?
Hey, don't call me fish-guy.
I don't like being fish-guy!
'You got all the, like'
'the great scorcher
super powers'
'and I didn't!'
I'm just a...fish.
Well, der.
But you breathe air, see?
And you talk.
You're like, I don't know
like a super fish.
That's, you know,
ace cool, Bosco.
As if.
'Come on.
We're the terrible two!'
♪ Na na na na ♪♪
We're a team,
and we're gonna
break a bunch of stuff.
Come on, okay, do it.
Pick a building.
[sighs]
That one, I guess.
Alright. No prob.
Home run for fish-guy!
thud
[rumbles]
Finish her off, buddyroo.
[inhales deeply]
[blows]
Oh, well, okay, that's cool.
Uh, well, look,
we're a team.
We are Putty-thing
and Fish-guy!
Yeah!
Whoo! Ha ha!
thud
[baby laughs]
Whoa, it's..
...a flying baby?
Dak, he has better
powers than me.
[chuckles]
[gasps]
Aah!
Give me my baby!
Know what?
She wants her baby.
[laughter]
Yeah. Her baby.
Eww! He's wet!
Here! Take him!
Bleah!
[tires screeching]
Hold it right there!
[laughter]
boom
Over there.
Hit it!
boom
[both panting]
[panting]
Oh! Monsters!
Monsters!
[screaming]
blop blop blop
Huh? They're some kind of
mutants.
Save your elitist, Ivy League
jabber for the bank, Ipkiss.
That guy's a fish.
Yee-ha!
There's no stopping 'em!
It's up to the Mask.
[grunting]
Ooh-ho!
[grunting]
[screaming]
[panting]
Milo!
'Milo!'
Mi...lo!
Good dog.
Okay, Milo.
Bring down my ma..
You know, the..
...the "M" word!
[whimpers]
No! Not mom!
'The other "M" word!'
[Milo barks]
If I don't do this
Edge City is doomed.
Hot-cha!
Time to mask-smash
some mutants.
Ha ha ha!
But first..
vroom
Oopsy.
Okay, a little more
to the left.
Per...fect.
Intense!
[imitating heavy metal guitar]
The Mask must annoy
the motley mutant miscreants.
I am bi-clops!
Make him cut it out,
putty-thing.
You wanna mess
with toolverine, huh, bub?
Yeah, do you, do you,
do you! Ha ha!
It's your funeral.
Some putty tools
ought to help your looks
Mr. Big and ugly.
What, does everybody have
better powers than me?
Oh, I cannot believe this.
Wow. Do you really have
all the powers of a fish?
Look out, everybody!
He's gonna swim!
Uh! Dak, make him sto-o-o-p!
Leave Fish-Guy alone!
[sniffs]
Ooh! You mean day-old fish-guy.
Pee-yoo! Let me guess.
He can attract
giant flies with his
uncanny power of stink.
Am I right?
I do not stink.
Do I, Dak?
[sniffs]
gulp
No.
[laughs]
Oh, you guys are a million
laughs. Let me tell you.
Hey, if only that
blowhard Kellaway
could see me now.
Wait!
Shhh!
[Milo howls]
"Howl...colloquial.
"Kellaway is waking up.
"Get your tuccus back here.
'"love, Milo.'
'to, PS I'm not kidding."'
[gasps]
Kellaway is waking up?
Who cares? I'm not the one
who land on the slammer.
Ipkiss is.
If Ipkiss goes to jail, I go.
Then I won't have
a million laughs ever again.
[screams]
Sorry, fellas. Gotta amscray.
Oh, no, really, I've got
a previous engagement.
Real ritzy-fitzy
glamour and hoo-hah.
RSVP'd months ago for it.
Soften him up for me,
Putty-thing.
Then I'll show him
what a fish can do.
[laughs]
[panting]
[groans]
Ah!
[whimpers]
[groans]
[grunting]
Listen, one last request.
Can you finish me off
in your hard rock mode.
This sticky clay stuff
really stains the suit.
You know what I mean.
Uh...okay.
Somebody stop me!
thud
[Mask laughs]
What's going on?
How'd we get here?
Would you believe
a cowboy fell from the sky
and knocked you out,
I mean, cold.
And then I had to come
home to fed Milo.
[siren wailing]
[tires screeching]
Lieutenant!
Come to find out the Mask
was fighting the mutants.
'That means Ipkiss and the Mask'
'can't be the same person.'
So you can uncuff him
and I could be
your partner again.
No deal, Doyal.
I wanna see
the Mask and Ipkiss
side by side
before I believe it.
Oh!
Now it's time to stop
some mutant trash.
Ipkiss!
Please, Mr. Ugly guy
with the face.
Do what you want with me,
but don't hurt Pepe.
[screeching]
Ow! Get him off!
Get him off!
You with the fins,
up against the wall now!
hiss
You hurt Eddie.
Squash you now!
Squash me later!
Ohh!
(Kellaway)
'Ipkiss!'
What do you think
you're doin'?
Oh, lieutenant.
You were just getting into it.
You know what, potato-sack man
is me and Milo's
favorite game.
Come on, let me put it
on next.
Come on! Come on!
You're a sick man, Ipkiss.
crash
(Eddie)
I hate pintos.
Smash that pinto.
And that building's ugly.
Waste it!
Yeah, if I can get
on the big guy's head
I can take him!
Okay, hey, look, no offense
but it doesn't look like
a fair fight.
No matter how you cut it.
He may mash me
but I'm not going down easy.
Yeah, but-but what if
he mashes me?
[elevator bell dings]
Stop the elevator!
Ipkiss, you fool!
Now I'm stuck!
[whistles]
Stop there, mister!
[grunting]
[screams]
You first, this time!
ding
Ipkiss!
[glass shatters]
[whooshing]
vroom
Alright!
(Kellaway)
'Ipkiss!'
Sorry, can't stay. I'm in
a hurry. We'll fight later.
Gotcha. Ciao.
[grunting]
Lieutenant, don't you realize
while you're messing around
superpowered mutants
are destroying the city?
ding
Hay-yah!
This would be so much easier
if I just put concrete boots
on Kellaway and throw him
int the river.
But since I can't!
[grunts]
Forget the stinkin' elevator!
Now, right! You two freaks
are under arrest.
Hey!
You're that cop
from the Slurp n' Lube.
Hey, yeah!
"You kids are ruining
the whole world."
Uh, s-sir, y-y-you may
gonna point out
to the nice mutant
that I'm innocent?
[chuckles]
Baby!
He's innocent.
Let the baby go.
It's okay by me..
...baby.
thud
(Kellaway)
'You'll never
get away with this.'
My bigger, tougher
brother's on the force.
screech
(Mask)
'Oh, boys!'
'Suppertime!'
Yeah, man, we're gonna have
a fish fry in today's show.
'cause I like my fish
s-s-s-smokin'!
Dak, help me-e-e-e!
You're bluffin'.
Bluffin'?
Watch as I gut
and scale him.
I'm sushi.
Aah! Ooh! Aah!
You know, I hate
the chi-chi places
where they serve fish
with the head still on the side.
Okay, alright. Okay!
You win.
Oh, gol. Here.
Take your grumpy
old cop, already.
[grunts]
snap
Thanks, Dak.
Now get the green head guy.
Sure thing, Eddie.
I'm...I'm melting!
Can't do my..
...putty-thing stuff!
Ho, ho, ho.
Everybody knows
that common household putty
loses its elastic properties
when doused
in canola oil. Ha ha!
I didn't know that.
Well, did you know that
to keep your preserves
from losing their freshness
it's important to seal them up
right away. Ha ha ha!
A little something
grandma Einstein taught me.
[laughs]
[siren wailing]
Those are the men, officer.
I, uh..
...I have to thank you
for saving my life.
Maybe you're not such a..
...bad guy after all.
Does this mean we can be
bowling partners?
I'm moved, I'm touched.
I'm glad we're
on the same team.
[screams]
Ahooga! Ahooga!
Atomic wedgie!
Ha ha ha!
Doyle, come in.
That mask guy's
headed east on Pine
and we're gonna take him down.
(Doyle over phone)
'What about Ipkiss?'
Forget Ipkiss.
I want the Mask!
Now, get move on
and Bring the squad car!
(Doyal)
'Lieutenant, I knew you
wouldn't forsake me.'
with my winnin' smile ♪
♪ I'm a livin' lesson
in flair and style ♪
♪ You just can't help but
stare at my savoir-faire ♪
♪ I'm Nouveau
Deco Roman-Greco ♪
♪ Rococo Barroco
bebop and hip-hop ♪
♪ Uh flip-flop ♪
♪ Somebody stop me ♪
♪ Pretty viridian faces
like mine ♪
♪ Don't come a dime a dozen ♪
♪ I stand out in a crowd ♪
♪ Babe when they made me
yeah they broke the mold ♪
♪ Wholesome and kind
staid and refined ♪
♪ Totally out of my mind ♪
♪ Arch villains
and ne'er-do-wells ♪
♪ Had better learn
to decorate prison cells ♪
♪ Green goes with anything
if they ask see ♪
♪ Well there's one last
thing I gotta sing about ♪
♪ Open up wide
and really shout ♪
♪ Oh look out ♪
♪ This is The Mask ♪♪
S-s-s-s-mokin'!
[siren wailing]
[tires screeching]
screech
This youngster hot out
of the miners has broken away
and is leading the pack.
But can he keep his lead?
Can he?
screech screech
[siren wailing]
screech
Here comes
the sadistic clown now.
Wow, how'd you know
he was gonna come here?
screech
Because I have a hunch
the Mask is Stanley Ipkiss.
Lieutenant Kellaway!
Doyle.
Here, look, Milo. Our friendly
neighborhood detectives.
[Milo barks]
[groans]
We followed the Mask
in here, Ipkiss.
We think you've got
something to do with him.
[stammering]
W-whatever gave you that idea?
Yeah, it's not like
we ever seen 'em
talking to each other
or somethin'.
I mean, I have never ever seen
Stanley and the Mask
in the same place. So how do--
You know why you never
see 'em in the same place?
I'll tell you why.
Because Stanley Ipkiss
and the Mask
are the same person.
Wait! Hey, wait a second!
What are.. Come on!
From here on,
you go where I go, Ipkiss.
Um, am I going, too?
You can't pick your nose
without me knowin'.
Eww!
And if you become the Mask
your little secret
won't be so secret anymore.
Lieu-lieutenant,
I'm-I'm going, too.
[tires screeching]
Look, c-could you.. Ah!
Not so.. Ah-ha!
(Doyle over radio)
'Ahem. Uh, lieutenant?'
'Uh, should I
take this to mean'
'that I'm not going, or..'
You know, it occurs to me
Doyle's not like
the other cops, is he?
Let's get something straight
right here in now, Ipkiss.
No one pulls my underwear
over my head
and gets away with it.
[laughs]
Why, that-that felon.
I hope you nail him, Kellaway
and put him behind bars.
[tires screeches]
[clanking]
Aww! What?
What is it? Crime in progress?
No. I'm thirsty,
and the car needs oil.
♪ Oom-tee poodly
oom-tee poodly ♪
♪ Oom-tee poodly
di-da-vun ♪♪
Stanley!
Pepe! Ha!
One complimentary
nobody's-paying slushy!
achoo
Still thirsty?
[laughs]
Drink up,
my square-jawed friend!
Quick! Those kids!
They're loitering!
We're just reading the pictures.
Yeah. Gear down, man.
This is no library! Beat it!
You kids are ruining the world!
Come on, Ipkiss.
I want as many miles
as possible
'between me
and that monkey hair slushy.'
Wow. What a..
...jerk.
Yeah, Eddie. We should go
whoomp him or something.
[laughs]
Know what?
Be easy if we were Insector
the Bugman, though.
Yeah.
Dak, how can we both
be Insector the Bugman?
- He's only one guy.
- Ah! Easy.
We both get bitten
by radioactive bugs.
And then we'd be..
...one guy?
No, we'd be two guys
but we'd both be
Insector the Bugman.
Okay.
Then, then we could
whoomp that cop
or something.
Ooh! Like...revenge?
(Dak)
'Yeah. Revenge.'
[laughter]
(male #1 over radio)
'Kellaway, code 1428.
Warehouse district.'
'Roll, roll, roll!'
screech
screech
screech
Ow! Whoa!
What's going on here?
[gasping]
Sir, Art Nouveau and his gang
are holed up inside
and they're
threatening to, like
blow up the entire block
unless their demands are met.
Nouveau. He's bluffing.
He's an art forger,
not a bomber.
Come on, Ipkiss.
We're goin' in.
But, sir,
it's a dynamite factory!
'It, you know,
wouldn't take very much'
'at all to blow up
this particular city block.'
Wait! He said..
Oow!
Hey...Kellaway!
This is a dynamite factory.
This is bad.
That's what I've been
trying to tell you!
I told you
to keep everyone back.
But would you listen?
'No!'
Well, now it's time
for the next
big explosion in art!
Wait! Listen, M-Mr. Nouveau.
Hi. Ahem.
Sir, have you considered
that if you're standing
right next to the explosives,
when you set them off.
It's not only going to blow up
blow up the entire block
but, you know, you, too, sir?
Oh!
Ah, I was this close
to doing it, too.
[screams]
[sighs]
It's gonna blow!
'We gotta stop
that dynamite'
before someone gets hurt!
- 'It's a meltdown! Run!'
- 'Run! Run!'
[alarm blaring]
[indistinct chatter]
Oh, cool.
Now where's the bug?
I thought you brought the bug.
No. You were
supposed to bring it.
- Bummer.
- Bummer.
Okay. Alright. Okay.
Now we're radioactive
and we've got no bug
to bite us.
Yeah, and I don't
feel so good.
You know, I don't
feel so good, too.
[both groans]
[siren wailing]
screech
[both gasps]
- Look out!
- Run!
Well, yoo-hoo to you, too!
click click click
Huh! This is
a good thing, right?
(male #2 on PA)
Hot dog!
Hot dog!
Yee-ha!
Uh, My baby!
[chuckles]
Oh, my gosh!
[siren wailing]
[screams]
crash
[tires screeching]
screech
Are things always
this strange out on patrol?
[whooshing]
[glass shatters]
Yo, Eddie, check it out.
I'm-I'm some kind
of putty thing.
'And I'm..'
...I'm a fish guy!
Yeah, you are.
Whoa. Pretty strange.
[both panting]
Whoa. Alright.
Uh, what do we do now?
I don't know. Do I smell?
Hey, let's wreck stuff!
Come on!
[grunting]
Coming.
I'm a fish. Wait up.
[car honking]
Ahh!
[both panting]
[both gasps]
[both groans]
Ha ha ha!
Ow! My fin.
Whoa. Scope this out.
Look, I can stre-e-e-e-etch
all over the place.
Ooh. Oh-oh, look.
I'm hard as a rock.
thud
[rumbles]
Ho ho!
Is that full-on
righteous or what?
I guess.
Aw, come on, uh, fish-guy.
What's wrong?
Hey, don't call me fish-guy.
I don't like being fish-guy!
'You got all the, like'
'the great scorcher
super powers'
'and I didn't!'
I'm just a...fish.
Well, der.
But you breathe air, see?
And you talk.
You're like, I don't know
like a super fish.
That's, you know,
ace cool, Bosco.
As if.
'Come on.
We're the terrible two!'
♪ Na na na na ♪♪
We're a team,
and we're gonna
break a bunch of stuff.
Come on, okay, do it.
Pick a building.
[sighs]
That one, I guess.
Alright. No prob.
Home run for fish-guy!
thud
[rumbles]
Finish her off, buddyroo.
[inhales deeply]
[blows]
Oh, well, okay, that's cool.
Uh, well, look,
we're a team.
We are Putty-thing
and Fish-guy!
Yeah!
Whoo! Ha ha!
thud
[baby laughs]
Whoa, it's..
...a flying baby?
Dak, he has better
powers than me.
[chuckles]
[gasps]
Aah!
Give me my baby!
Know what?
She wants her baby.
[laughter]
Yeah. Her baby.
Eww! He's wet!
Here! Take him!
Bleah!
[tires screeching]
Hold it right there!
[laughter]
boom
Over there.
Hit it!
boom
[both panting]
[panting]
Oh! Monsters!
Monsters!
[screaming]
blop blop blop
Huh? They're some kind of
mutants.
Save your elitist, Ivy League
jabber for the bank, Ipkiss.
That guy's a fish.
Yee-ha!
There's no stopping 'em!
It's up to the Mask.
[grunting]
Ooh-ho!
[grunting]
[screaming]
[panting]
Milo!
'Milo!'
Mi...lo!
Good dog.
Okay, Milo.
Bring down my ma..
You know, the..
...the "M" word!
[whimpers]
No! Not mom!
'The other "M" word!'
[Milo barks]
If I don't do this
Edge City is doomed.
Hot-cha!
Time to mask-smash
some mutants.
Ha ha ha!
But first..
vroom
Oopsy.
Okay, a little more
to the left.
Per...fect.
Intense!
[imitating heavy metal guitar]
The Mask must annoy
the motley mutant miscreants.
I am bi-clops!
Make him cut it out,
putty-thing.
You wanna mess
with toolverine, huh, bub?
Yeah, do you, do you,
do you! Ha ha!
It's your funeral.
Some putty tools
ought to help your looks
Mr. Big and ugly.
What, does everybody have
better powers than me?
Oh, I cannot believe this.
Wow. Do you really have
all the powers of a fish?
Look out, everybody!
He's gonna swim!
Uh! Dak, make him sto-o-o-p!
Leave Fish-Guy alone!
[sniffs]
Ooh! You mean day-old fish-guy.
Pee-yoo! Let me guess.
He can attract
giant flies with his
uncanny power of stink.
Am I right?
I do not stink.
Do I, Dak?
[sniffs]
gulp
No.
[laughs]
Oh, you guys are a million
laughs. Let me tell you.
Hey, if only that
blowhard Kellaway
could see me now.
Wait!
Shhh!
[Milo howls]
"Howl...colloquial.
"Kellaway is waking up.
"Get your tuccus back here.
'"love, Milo.'
'to, PS I'm not kidding."'
[gasps]
Kellaway is waking up?
Who cares? I'm not the one
who land on the slammer.
Ipkiss is.
If Ipkiss goes to jail, I go.
Then I won't have
a million laughs ever again.
[screams]
Sorry, fellas. Gotta amscray.
Oh, no, really, I've got
a previous engagement.
Real ritzy-fitzy
glamour and hoo-hah.
RSVP'd months ago for it.
Soften him up for me,
Putty-thing.
Then I'll show him
what a fish can do.
[laughs]
[panting]
[groans]
Ah!
[whimpers]
[groans]
[grunting]
Listen, one last request.
Can you finish me off
in your hard rock mode.
This sticky clay stuff
really stains the suit.
You know what I mean.
Uh...okay.
Somebody stop me!
thud
[Mask laughs]
What's going on?
How'd we get here?
Would you believe
a cowboy fell from the sky
and knocked you out,
I mean, cold.
And then I had to come
home to fed Milo.
[siren wailing]
[tires screeching]
Lieutenant!
Come to find out the Mask
was fighting the mutants.
'That means Ipkiss and the Mask'
'can't be the same person.'
So you can uncuff him
and I could be
your partner again.
No deal, Doyal.
I wanna see
the Mask and Ipkiss
side by side
before I believe it.
Oh!
Now it's time to stop
some mutant trash.
Ipkiss!
Please, Mr. Ugly guy
with the face.
Do what you want with me,
but don't hurt Pepe.
[screeching]
Ow! Get him off!
Get him off!
You with the fins,
up against the wall now!
hiss
You hurt Eddie.
Squash you now!
Squash me later!
Ohh!
(Kellaway)
'Ipkiss!'
What do you think
you're doin'?
Oh, lieutenant.
You were just getting into it.
You know what, potato-sack man
is me and Milo's
favorite game.
Come on, let me put it
on next.
Come on! Come on!
You're a sick man, Ipkiss.
crash
(Eddie)
I hate pintos.
Smash that pinto.
And that building's ugly.
Waste it!
Yeah, if I can get
on the big guy's head
I can take him!
Okay, hey, look, no offense
but it doesn't look like
a fair fight.
No matter how you cut it.
He may mash me
but I'm not going down easy.
Yeah, but-but what if
he mashes me?
[elevator bell dings]
Stop the elevator!
Ipkiss, you fool!
Now I'm stuck!
[whistles]
Stop there, mister!
[grunting]
[screams]
You first, this time!
ding
Ipkiss!
[glass shatters]
[whooshing]
vroom
Alright!
(Kellaway)
'Ipkiss!'
Sorry, can't stay. I'm in
a hurry. We'll fight later.
Gotcha. Ciao.
[grunting]
Lieutenant, don't you realize
while you're messing around
superpowered mutants
are destroying the city?
ding
Hay-yah!
This would be so much easier
if I just put concrete boots
on Kellaway and throw him
int the river.
But since I can't!
[grunts]
Forget the stinkin' elevator!
Now, right! You two freaks
are under arrest.
Hey!
You're that cop
from the Slurp n' Lube.
Hey, yeah!
"You kids are ruining
the whole world."
Uh, s-sir, y-y-you may
gonna point out
to the nice mutant
that I'm innocent?
[chuckles]
Baby!
He's innocent.
Let the baby go.
It's okay by me..
...baby.
thud
(Kellaway)
'You'll never
get away with this.'
My bigger, tougher
brother's on the force.
screech
(Mask)
'Oh, boys!'
'Suppertime!'
Yeah, man, we're gonna have
a fish fry in today's show.
'cause I like my fish
s-s-s-smokin'!
Dak, help me-e-e-e!
You're bluffin'.
Bluffin'?
Watch as I gut
and scale him.
I'm sushi.
Aah! Ooh! Aah!
You know, I hate
the chi-chi places
where they serve fish
with the head still on the side.
Okay, alright. Okay!
You win.
Oh, gol. Here.
Take your grumpy
old cop, already.
[grunts]
snap
Thanks, Dak.
Now get the green head guy.
Sure thing, Eddie.
I'm...I'm melting!
Can't do my..
...putty-thing stuff!
Ho, ho, ho.
Everybody knows
that common household putty
loses its elastic properties
when doused
in canola oil. Ha ha!
I didn't know that.
Well, did you know that
to keep your preserves
from losing their freshness
it's important to seal them up
right away. Ha ha ha!
A little something
grandma Einstein taught me.
[laughs]
[siren wailing]
Those are the men, officer.
I, uh..
...I have to thank you
for saving my life.
Maybe you're not such a..
...bad guy after all.
Does this mean we can be
bowling partners?
I'm moved, I'm touched.
I'm glad we're
on the same team.
[screams]
Ahooga! Ahooga!
Atomic wedgie!
Ha ha ha!
Doyle, come in.
That mask guy's
headed east on Pine
and we're gonna take him down.
(Doyle over phone)
'What about Ipkiss?'
Forget Ipkiss.
I want the Mask!
Now, get move on
and Bring the squad car!
(Doyal)
'Lieutenant, I knew you
wouldn't forsake me.'