The Mask (1995–1997): Season 1, Episode 10 - Mayor Mask - full transcript
♪ I gotcha
with my winning smile ♪
♪ I'm a living lesson
in flair and style ♪
♪ You just can't help but stare
at my savoir-faire ♪
♪ I'm nouveau, Deco,
Roman-Greco, Rococo ♪
♪ Barroco, be-bop,
hip-hop, flip-flop ♪
♪ Somebody stop me ♪
♪ Pretty viridian faces
like mine ♪
♪ Don't come a dime a dozen ♪
♪ I stand out of the crowd ♪
♪ Babe, when they made me,
yeah, they broke the mold ♪
♪ Wholesome and kind,
staid and refined ♪
♪ Totally out of my mind ♪
♪ Arch-villains
and ne'er-do-wells ♪
♪ Had better learn
to decorate prison cells ♪
♪ Green goes with anything
if they ask, see ♪
♪ Well there's one last thing
I gotta sing about ♪
♪ Open up wide
and really shout ♪
♪ Oh! Look out ♪
♪ This is the Mask ♪♪
S-s-smokin'.
[instrumental music]
[birds chirping]
[engine rumbling]
(Stanley)
'Come on!'
City's going to heck
in a handcart.
I mean, the taxes are up,
the garbage is piled everywhere.
What? Are the garbage trucks
on strike or something?
(male announcer)
'The election's only days away.'
'So, re-elect the man who put
the fun back into Edge City.'
'Mayor Tilton.'
Yeah, what about putting
the garbage back
in the garbage trucks?
Hand over your money, pal?
Okay, okay, just don't panic.
Stay calm.
Cash, credit cards,
what's this?
Two hundred bucks
for a dog license?
You believe that?
Highway robbery.
They're all crooks,
them politicians.
- Yeah? The watch?
- Hmmm? Yeah, sure thing.
I mean, how's a couple
of honest guys like you and me
supposed to make a living?
[smirks]
- I tell ya.
- Well, gotta run.
- Have a fluffy day.
- Yeah, you too. Bye, now.
I've just been robbed
at...g-gun point.
I could've been killed.
Police! Oh, officer, thank
goodness you're here, because..
This your car?
Yeah, as a matter
of fact it is.
But that's not what..
Here, I'm citin' you for
an expired parking meter.
Expired? Well, excuse
the heck out of me, sir.
That meter wasn't even there
a minute ago.
As you can see, it's here now.
Puttin' 'em in all over.
Mayor Tilton figures it's
a good way to raise revenue.
Have a fluffy day.
[hissing]
[instrumental music]
Hmm, have a fluffy day. Oh, boy,
this town is going to the dogs.
[growls]
Oh, I'm sorry, Milo.
Nothing personal.
Can you believe
they are charging $200
'to renew your dog license?'
[moans]
Oh, of course you're worth it,
buddy. I'm not mad at you.
I'm mad at the city.
Boy, am I?
I'll tell you one thing,
if I were mayor
things would be different.
Yeah, right.
Like I can ever be mayor.
But I can give them
a piece of my mind.
With a little help.
[moans]
[rumbling]
Give a piece of my mind?
Great idea.
Run for mayor, even better.
[laughs]
I'll do both.
pong pong pong
Tally-ho!
So, let us make an effort
to stop dwelling on crime
and corruption.
After all, if the press stops
writing about it
the public will stop
reading about it.
Remember, fluffy begins up here.
And now, the unveiling '
of my new statue.
[gasping]
Speaking on behalf of
all the pigeons in the city
I just wanna say, great statue.
Enough fluff, more rough,
tough and buff.
Now, listen up, friends,
'cause this city's in trouble.
Trouble I say and trouble
I see and why?
- Is it the crime?
- Yes.
- No. Is it the pollution?
- Yes.
Wrong again, now, ladies
and suckas...I mean gentlemen
your trouble comes down
to one word, parkin' meters.
- That's two words.
- Hey, I'm talkin' here.
And what are we going to do
about these parking meters?
Off with their heads, I say!
[cheering]
Thank you for
that spontaneous outpour.
Glad you feel that way, because
I've decided to throw my hat
into the ring and ta-da-da!
Run for mayor.
[murmuring]
Look, up in the sky!
vroom
[engine rumbling]
Yes, my friends, vote for me,
the guy who invented
the Green Party.
In fact, I am
the original party animal.
[braying]
[trumpeting]
Read my lips.
(crowd chanting)
'Mayor Mask! Mayor Mask!'
No new taxes.
If elected, I promise a chicken
in every garage.
No, make that a water buffalo.
Yeah, yeah, but where do you
stand on the toxic waste issue?
I love it! Toxic waste
in every garage too.
[booing]
Ha ha ha!
Uh, just making sure
you're listening.
Toxic waste, stinky.
No good.
[cheering]
[instrumental music]
[snoring]
(woman on TV)
'And now the news.'
'The newest candidate to enter
the mayoral race is, the Mask.'
He is? I mean, I am?
'The Mask has become
an instant folk hero.'
'They're already comparing
his parking meter speech'
'to the Gettysburg Address.'
[gasps]
It's on TV. It's got to be true.
Oh, this is terrible, Milo.
This is terrible.
The Mask can't run this city.
He, he's got
too many...weird ideas.
'Oh, no. Oh, no.'
'I can just see him turning
city council meetings'
'into limbo parties and worse.'
Wait a minute.
You can't be mayor, if you're
not around to be elected.
Milo, when I go to work
this morning.
Milo, look at me.
Hide the mask somewhere I'll
never find it, okay?
You gotta promise me
that under no circumstances
no matter how much I beg
or plead, you will not
'give me the mask, okay?'
[instrumental music]
You coming to the "Mask For
Mayor" rally tonight?
They say the Mask
is gonna be there.
Doubt that. I-I mean, I-I doubt
that I can make it, Lizzie.
Okay. Your loss.
See you tomorrow.
[engine rumbling]
It's about time you guys started
picking up the trash, because..
What are you...come on.
If you'd be good enough
to accompany us
the mayor would like to see you.
He, the may..
He would? Oh!
[dramatic music]
[door opens]
You wanted
to see me, Mr. Mayor?
That's right.
I do want to see you...wearing
concrete boots at the bottom
of the Edge City harbor.
If this is about
that unpaid parking ticket..
thud thud thud
[panting]
Oh, this is, this is too weird.
What's got into Mayor Tilton?
Funny you should ask.
[screams]
Good evening, Mr. Ipkiss.
[dramatic music]
Well, where are you taking me?
(Pretorius)
'Basement level.'
[phone ringing]
I don't believe it.
[phone ringing]
You've moved your laboratory
into City Hall?
I prefer to call it my campaign
headquarters, Mr. Ipkiss.
Where does Tilton stand on
term limits?
Uh, just a minute.
He's all for it.
Do we favor the new
interstate highway project?
Uh, let me consult
our policy book.
Okay, outlook is rosy.
You're..
Replacing Mayor Tilton? Yes.
Once re-elected, I will be
the new mayor.
Which will give me
the legal power to sell out
Edge City to certain
international corporations
who will then turn it into
the world's largest depository
'of toxic waste.'
Observe.
[static]
'Even as we speak,
hundreds of barges'
'of toxic waste
are poised and ready.'
All they need is a signal
from his honor, the mayor.
I can't believe that even you
would endanger
the lives of every one
in Edge City
for the sake
of the almighty dollar.
Goodness, how crass
you must think me?
I am not doing it for money.
I'm doing it for science.
Have you any idea, how many
sub-varities of toxic waste
there are?
Um, I kinda thought that
toxic waste was toxic waste.
Let's have a demonstration
for our unenlightened guest.
[dramatic music]
Never mind a science lesson.
What did you do
with Mayor Tilton?
[music continues]
smack
- 'Hmm, goodie, visual aids.'
- Mayor Tilton? You monster!
That's hamburger meat, you fool!
Uh...I knew that.
The real Tilton is healthy
in captive.
clank
(Pretorius)
'It suits my purposes
to keep him alive. For now.'
But back to my plan.
I want to study all toxic waste
sub-varieties.
And learn to use them
to alter life as we know it.
(Pretorius)
'Ultimately creating
a mutant slave race'
'to serve me.'
[roaring]
[screaming]
[roaring]
Ah!
What a grand experiment
we're about to undertake here
in Edge City?
Unfortunately, you won't be
around to see it, Mr. Ipkiss.
I-I won't?
Not as you are, anyway.
You'll be my
first human guinea pig
for toxic waste subvariety 57B.
You see, I must eliminate
my competition.
I can't very well run the risk
of your alter-ego, the Mask
winning the election.
But I don't want him
to win either.
Really. Just ask me about
the Limbo-parties.
I mean, this guy's a nut.
Come now, do you expect me
to believe that, Mr. Ipkiss?
Now, prepare for mutation.
[instrumental music]
smack
[roaring]
plonk
Get him, you fools!
Come on, come on, come on,
come on, come on.
[panting]
thud
Gotta get the mask.
Evening, ma'am.
Remember, the only thing better
than Quilton
is a vote for Tilton.
Mayor Tilton, Mayor Tilton.
Debby Rich, TV News,
Mayor Tilton.
How do you feel about the Mask
running against you?
He can run, but he can't hide.
Well, there you have it.
An enigmatic reply
from a very complex man.
Milo. Milo. Good boy. You gotta
tell me where you hid the mask.
[whining]
I know, I know I told you
not to. But this is different.
It's Pretorius. Please!
Tell me where the mask is.
I'm begging you.
I'm pleading with you.
No matter how much I beg
or plead
you'll not give me the mask.
Okay?
Okay, fine. Fine.
I'll find it myself.
crash
Ready or not,
here I come.
C-c-come on.
If you were a dog, hiding--
Hey! That's an awful lot of food
in Milo's bowl.
crack
Did you really think
you could escape me, Mr. Ipkiss?
After all, you can't fight
City Hall.
[screaming]
Tilton came this way. Maybe
he'll give us a full interview.
whoosh
Interview? Why, I'd love to.
How about a little tango
at ze Coco Bongo, n'est-ce pas?
[whining]
[instrumental music]
Ma'am, if you'll excuse me,
I gotta deal with a dirty
low down varmint.
Who was that masked man?
Okay, you say you're
the fastest mudslinger in town.
But I say you ain't.
splash splash
Want to play rough, Mr. Ipkiss?
How about a Celanese blowgun
dart tipped with toxic waste
subvariety 86c?
Back at ya.
clang
thud
[screaming]
thud
Come on, mayor.
Stretch it off.
You ain't no match
for rough, tough, and buff.
Ladies and gentlemen,
you're seeing this live.
Candidate Mask caught in the act
of giving a pasting
to an elected official.
And what do you have to say
for yourself?
Whoops!
[dramatic music]
(male #1)
'They say that politics
is a tough business.'
'Well, nobody knew just how
tough, until last night'
'when our incumbent mayor was
jolly stomped by the Mask.'
It's no surprise that the Mask
is a vicious criminal.
If history has taught us
anything
it's that people don't commit
crimes, Masks do.
He's a liar and a fake.
He's not Tilton.
He's a puppet candidate.
[dramatic music]
And ever since he attacked
Mayor Tilton for the second time
'the Mask has been plummeting
in the polls.'
'Pundits are now predicting a
landslide for the incumbent--'
I thought the Mask as mayor
would be bad news.
But this is worse.
Pretorius is gonna win
and turn Edge City
into a toxic waste dump.
Right, Milo. As much as it
makes my skin crawl
we have to get Mask
back in this race.
But first, there's a matter
of repairing his reputation.
And that's gonna take
some team work.
[instrumental music]
Vote for me, vote for me,
vote for me.
Mask and Mayor Tilton
have been out hitting
the campaign trail in a big way.
'And while Mayor Tilton has been
out all day kissing babies'
'Mask was out kissing babes.'
Somebody stop me.
'And while Mayor Tilton was out
pressing flesh..'
'the mask was
pressing trousers.'
Smokin'!
[dramatic music]
'Later in the day, campaign
manager Stanley Ipkiss'
'called a press conference'
'to offer an explanation
of a recent scandal.'
Precisely so. You see,
it only looked like
the Mask was attacking Tilton.
He was actually administering
the Heimlich maneuver.
But isn't the Heimlich
given from behind?
Ah...ah, usually, yes. Um...but
this was the...reverse Heimlich
because Tilton was...choking on
a piece of...upside down cake.
I'm standing here talking
to a voter who has recently
changed her opinion of the Mask.
Mrs. Peeman, I understand
you and the Mask
have had your differences.
Was it his stand on parking
meters that turned you around?
No. I want a water buffalo in my
garage, and I love to limbo.
Of course it was his stand
on parking meters.
And what looked like a landslide
for Mayor Tilton
'only a few days ago, is turning
into a close race.'
Here it is, election day.
And as voter city ward
flock to the polls
'Mayor Tilton
has decided to make'
'his campaign appearance down
here at Edge City Harbor.'
And I hereby christen this ship,
the SS Floating Banana.
[glass shattering]
Thank you. Thank you.
Election returns in yet?
[instrumental music]
Yes, my fellow citizens.
I firmly believe
that Edge Harbor is the key
to our future prosperity.
As a matter of fact,
any time now
that future will
come barging in.
And we'll return with our
election day coverage in..
This just in.
According to WEDG TV's new
computerized tabulation system
with 15 percent
of the precincts reporting
'we can now declare a winner.'
'The Mask wins by one vote.'
Yes! Yes, Milo,
the Mask is mayor.'
Milo, Milo, Milo.
Mayor Milo.
Milo is the mayor too.
You're the first dog, Milo.
Isn't that great? I'm mayor. I..
Which means the life
of Stanley Ipkiss as he knows it
is about to come
to a screeching halt.
But I can't think
about that now.
But first, there's still
a matter of a little..
...public unveiling.
What do you mean I lost?
I demand a recount.
I'd like to take this
opportunity
to begin my term in office..
...with a proverbial...bang!
[screaming]
boom
May have lost the election, but
I'm still going through
with making Edge City Harbor
the world's largest
'toxic waste dump.'
You see, I took
backup measures
which my other half will now
initiate by manually releasing
toxic ooze
from the burst barge.
Unless I beat him to it,
Brainpan.
[whistling]
[engine revving]
[coughing]
[theme music]
[music continues]
Need a little...help?
But first..
[music continues]
splash
How ironic?
Destroyed by the very toxic ooze
he was fighting
so valiantly against.
[dramatic music]
[roaring]
No! Stand back!
Scared you, huh?
Okay. It's late in the game.
We're down by two.
Only one thing to do!
'And it's gone.'
That head is heading
non-stop to Hawaii.
whoosh
When you get to Hawaii,
drop me a postcard.
whoosh
WEDG TV with another exclusive.
The real mayor has been found
tied up in a lifeboat.
Mayor, how does it feel to have
lost the election
by one vote?
I didn't. I never got to vote.
And I've still got five minutes
till the polls close.
I voted for me.
Which means the Mayoral race is
now actually a tie.
Don't be so sure. I was so busy
being the Mask's..
...campaign manager,
that I-I didn't get a chance
to vote either. So, here I go.
Vote for me. I'll give you
anything. You name it.
With Pretorius out,
I can rest easy
putting my vote for Tilton
and end this
Mayor Mask stuff.
But first..
Your Honor, did you
say...anything?
Okay, what I think
is a garbage.
(Mayor Tilton)
'Garbage off the streets.'
Dog license. Cut-rate.
Parking tickets fixed.
Limbo parties?
Well, yeah, that or
a water buffalo in every--
Limbo parties. Deal.
Tilton gets my vote.
[crowd cheering]
You drive a hard bargain,
mister.
It's my...civic duty.
with my winning smile ♪
♪ I'm a living lesson
in flair and style ♪
♪ You just can't help but stare
at my savoir-faire ♪
♪ I'm nouveau, Deco,
Roman-Greco, Rococo ♪
♪ Barroco, be-bop,
hip-hop, flip-flop ♪
♪ Somebody stop me ♪
♪ Pretty viridian faces
like mine ♪
♪ Don't come a dime a dozen ♪
♪ I stand out of the crowd ♪
♪ Babe, when they made me,
yeah, they broke the mold ♪
♪ Wholesome and kind,
staid and refined ♪
♪ Totally out of my mind ♪
♪ Arch-villains
and ne'er-do-wells ♪
♪ Had better learn
to decorate prison cells ♪
♪ Green goes with anything
if they ask, see ♪
♪ Well there's one last thing
I gotta sing about ♪
♪ Open up wide
and really shout ♪
♪ Oh! Look out ♪
♪ This is the Mask ♪♪
S-s-smokin'.
[instrumental music]
[birds chirping]
[engine rumbling]
(Stanley)
'Come on!'
City's going to heck
in a handcart.
I mean, the taxes are up,
the garbage is piled everywhere.
What? Are the garbage trucks
on strike or something?
(male announcer)
'The election's only days away.'
'So, re-elect the man who put
the fun back into Edge City.'
'Mayor Tilton.'
Yeah, what about putting
the garbage back
in the garbage trucks?
Hand over your money, pal?
Okay, okay, just don't panic.
Stay calm.
Cash, credit cards,
what's this?
Two hundred bucks
for a dog license?
You believe that?
Highway robbery.
They're all crooks,
them politicians.
- Yeah? The watch?
- Hmmm? Yeah, sure thing.
I mean, how's a couple
of honest guys like you and me
supposed to make a living?
[smirks]
- I tell ya.
- Well, gotta run.
- Have a fluffy day.
- Yeah, you too. Bye, now.
I've just been robbed
at...g-gun point.
I could've been killed.
Police! Oh, officer, thank
goodness you're here, because..
This your car?
Yeah, as a matter
of fact it is.
But that's not what..
Here, I'm citin' you for
an expired parking meter.
Expired? Well, excuse
the heck out of me, sir.
That meter wasn't even there
a minute ago.
As you can see, it's here now.
Puttin' 'em in all over.
Mayor Tilton figures it's
a good way to raise revenue.
Have a fluffy day.
[hissing]
[instrumental music]
Hmm, have a fluffy day. Oh, boy,
this town is going to the dogs.
[growls]
Oh, I'm sorry, Milo.
Nothing personal.
Can you believe
they are charging $200
'to renew your dog license?'
[moans]
Oh, of course you're worth it,
buddy. I'm not mad at you.
I'm mad at the city.
Boy, am I?
I'll tell you one thing,
if I were mayor
things would be different.
Yeah, right.
Like I can ever be mayor.
But I can give them
a piece of my mind.
With a little help.
[moans]
[rumbling]
Give a piece of my mind?
Great idea.
Run for mayor, even better.
[laughs]
I'll do both.
pong pong pong
Tally-ho!
So, let us make an effort
to stop dwelling on crime
and corruption.
After all, if the press stops
writing about it
the public will stop
reading about it.
Remember, fluffy begins up here.
And now, the unveiling '
of my new statue.
[gasping]
Speaking on behalf of
all the pigeons in the city
I just wanna say, great statue.
Enough fluff, more rough,
tough and buff.
Now, listen up, friends,
'cause this city's in trouble.
Trouble I say and trouble
I see and why?
- Is it the crime?
- Yes.
- No. Is it the pollution?
- Yes.
Wrong again, now, ladies
and suckas...I mean gentlemen
your trouble comes down
to one word, parkin' meters.
- That's two words.
- Hey, I'm talkin' here.
And what are we going to do
about these parking meters?
Off with their heads, I say!
[cheering]
Thank you for
that spontaneous outpour.
Glad you feel that way, because
I've decided to throw my hat
into the ring and ta-da-da!
Run for mayor.
[murmuring]
Look, up in the sky!
vroom
[engine rumbling]
Yes, my friends, vote for me,
the guy who invented
the Green Party.
In fact, I am
the original party animal.
[braying]
[trumpeting]
Read my lips.
(crowd chanting)
'Mayor Mask! Mayor Mask!'
No new taxes.
If elected, I promise a chicken
in every garage.
No, make that a water buffalo.
Yeah, yeah, but where do you
stand on the toxic waste issue?
I love it! Toxic waste
in every garage too.
[booing]
Ha ha ha!
Uh, just making sure
you're listening.
Toxic waste, stinky.
No good.
[cheering]
[instrumental music]
[snoring]
(woman on TV)
'And now the news.'
'The newest candidate to enter
the mayoral race is, the Mask.'
He is? I mean, I am?
'The Mask has become
an instant folk hero.'
'They're already comparing
his parking meter speech'
'to the Gettysburg Address.'
[gasps]
It's on TV. It's got to be true.
Oh, this is terrible, Milo.
This is terrible.
The Mask can't run this city.
He, he's got
too many...weird ideas.
'Oh, no. Oh, no.'
'I can just see him turning
city council meetings'
'into limbo parties and worse.'
Wait a minute.
You can't be mayor, if you're
not around to be elected.
Milo, when I go to work
this morning.
Milo, look at me.
Hide the mask somewhere I'll
never find it, okay?
You gotta promise me
that under no circumstances
no matter how much I beg
or plead, you will not
'give me the mask, okay?'
[instrumental music]
You coming to the "Mask For
Mayor" rally tonight?
They say the Mask
is gonna be there.
Doubt that. I-I mean, I-I doubt
that I can make it, Lizzie.
Okay. Your loss.
See you tomorrow.
[engine rumbling]
It's about time you guys started
picking up the trash, because..
What are you...come on.
If you'd be good enough
to accompany us
the mayor would like to see you.
He, the may..
He would? Oh!
[dramatic music]
[door opens]
You wanted
to see me, Mr. Mayor?
That's right.
I do want to see you...wearing
concrete boots at the bottom
of the Edge City harbor.
If this is about
that unpaid parking ticket..
thud thud thud
[panting]
Oh, this is, this is too weird.
What's got into Mayor Tilton?
Funny you should ask.
[screams]
Good evening, Mr. Ipkiss.
[dramatic music]
Well, where are you taking me?
(Pretorius)
'Basement level.'
[phone ringing]
I don't believe it.
[phone ringing]
You've moved your laboratory
into City Hall?
I prefer to call it my campaign
headquarters, Mr. Ipkiss.
Where does Tilton stand on
term limits?
Uh, just a minute.
He's all for it.
Do we favor the new
interstate highway project?
Uh, let me consult
our policy book.
Okay, outlook is rosy.
You're..
Replacing Mayor Tilton? Yes.
Once re-elected, I will be
the new mayor.
Which will give me
the legal power to sell out
Edge City to certain
international corporations
who will then turn it into
the world's largest depository
'of toxic waste.'
Observe.
[static]
'Even as we speak,
hundreds of barges'
'of toxic waste
are poised and ready.'
All they need is a signal
from his honor, the mayor.
I can't believe that even you
would endanger
the lives of every one
in Edge City
for the sake
of the almighty dollar.
Goodness, how crass
you must think me?
I am not doing it for money.
I'm doing it for science.
Have you any idea, how many
sub-varities of toxic waste
there are?
Um, I kinda thought that
toxic waste was toxic waste.
Let's have a demonstration
for our unenlightened guest.
[dramatic music]
Never mind a science lesson.
What did you do
with Mayor Tilton?
[music continues]
smack
- 'Hmm, goodie, visual aids.'
- Mayor Tilton? You monster!
That's hamburger meat, you fool!
Uh...I knew that.
The real Tilton is healthy
in captive.
clank
(Pretorius)
'It suits my purposes
to keep him alive. For now.'
But back to my plan.
I want to study all toxic waste
sub-varieties.
And learn to use them
to alter life as we know it.
(Pretorius)
'Ultimately creating
a mutant slave race'
'to serve me.'
[roaring]
[screaming]
[roaring]
Ah!
What a grand experiment
we're about to undertake here
in Edge City?
Unfortunately, you won't be
around to see it, Mr. Ipkiss.
I-I won't?
Not as you are, anyway.
You'll be my
first human guinea pig
for toxic waste subvariety 57B.
You see, I must eliminate
my competition.
I can't very well run the risk
of your alter-ego, the Mask
winning the election.
But I don't want him
to win either.
Really. Just ask me about
the Limbo-parties.
I mean, this guy's a nut.
Come now, do you expect me
to believe that, Mr. Ipkiss?
Now, prepare for mutation.
[instrumental music]
smack
[roaring]
plonk
Get him, you fools!
Come on, come on, come on,
come on, come on.
[panting]
thud
Gotta get the mask.
Evening, ma'am.
Remember, the only thing better
than Quilton
is a vote for Tilton.
Mayor Tilton, Mayor Tilton.
Debby Rich, TV News,
Mayor Tilton.
How do you feel about the Mask
running against you?
He can run, but he can't hide.
Well, there you have it.
An enigmatic reply
from a very complex man.
Milo. Milo. Good boy. You gotta
tell me where you hid the mask.
[whining]
I know, I know I told you
not to. But this is different.
It's Pretorius. Please!
Tell me where the mask is.
I'm begging you.
I'm pleading with you.
No matter how much I beg
or plead
you'll not give me the mask.
Okay?
Okay, fine. Fine.
I'll find it myself.
crash
Ready or not,
here I come.
C-c-come on.
If you were a dog, hiding--
Hey! That's an awful lot of food
in Milo's bowl.
crack
Did you really think
you could escape me, Mr. Ipkiss?
After all, you can't fight
City Hall.
[screaming]
Tilton came this way. Maybe
he'll give us a full interview.
whoosh
Interview? Why, I'd love to.
How about a little tango
at ze Coco Bongo, n'est-ce pas?
[whining]
[instrumental music]
Ma'am, if you'll excuse me,
I gotta deal with a dirty
low down varmint.
Who was that masked man?
Okay, you say you're
the fastest mudslinger in town.
But I say you ain't.
splash splash
Want to play rough, Mr. Ipkiss?
How about a Celanese blowgun
dart tipped with toxic waste
subvariety 86c?
Back at ya.
clang
thud
[screaming]
thud
Come on, mayor.
Stretch it off.
You ain't no match
for rough, tough, and buff.
Ladies and gentlemen,
you're seeing this live.
Candidate Mask caught in the act
of giving a pasting
to an elected official.
And what do you have to say
for yourself?
Whoops!
[dramatic music]
(male #1)
'They say that politics
is a tough business.'
'Well, nobody knew just how
tough, until last night'
'when our incumbent mayor was
jolly stomped by the Mask.'
It's no surprise that the Mask
is a vicious criminal.
If history has taught us
anything
it's that people don't commit
crimes, Masks do.
He's a liar and a fake.
He's not Tilton.
He's a puppet candidate.
[dramatic music]
And ever since he attacked
Mayor Tilton for the second time
'the Mask has been plummeting
in the polls.'
'Pundits are now predicting a
landslide for the incumbent--'
I thought the Mask as mayor
would be bad news.
But this is worse.
Pretorius is gonna win
and turn Edge City
into a toxic waste dump.
Right, Milo. As much as it
makes my skin crawl
we have to get Mask
back in this race.
But first, there's a matter
of repairing his reputation.
And that's gonna take
some team work.
[instrumental music]
Vote for me, vote for me,
vote for me.
Mask and Mayor Tilton
have been out hitting
the campaign trail in a big way.
'And while Mayor Tilton has been
out all day kissing babies'
'Mask was out kissing babes.'
Somebody stop me.
'And while Mayor Tilton was out
pressing flesh..'
'the mask was
pressing trousers.'
Smokin'!
[dramatic music]
'Later in the day, campaign
manager Stanley Ipkiss'
'called a press conference'
'to offer an explanation
of a recent scandal.'
Precisely so. You see,
it only looked like
the Mask was attacking Tilton.
He was actually administering
the Heimlich maneuver.
But isn't the Heimlich
given from behind?
Ah...ah, usually, yes. Um...but
this was the...reverse Heimlich
because Tilton was...choking on
a piece of...upside down cake.
I'm standing here talking
to a voter who has recently
changed her opinion of the Mask.
Mrs. Peeman, I understand
you and the Mask
have had your differences.
Was it his stand on parking
meters that turned you around?
No. I want a water buffalo in my
garage, and I love to limbo.
Of course it was his stand
on parking meters.
And what looked like a landslide
for Mayor Tilton
'only a few days ago, is turning
into a close race.'
Here it is, election day.
And as voter city ward
flock to the polls
'Mayor Tilton
has decided to make'
'his campaign appearance down
here at Edge City Harbor.'
And I hereby christen this ship,
the SS Floating Banana.
[glass shattering]
Thank you. Thank you.
Election returns in yet?
[instrumental music]
Yes, my fellow citizens.
I firmly believe
that Edge Harbor is the key
to our future prosperity.
As a matter of fact,
any time now
that future will
come barging in.
And we'll return with our
election day coverage in..
This just in.
According to WEDG TV's new
computerized tabulation system
with 15 percent
of the precincts reporting
'we can now declare a winner.'
'The Mask wins by one vote.'
Yes! Yes, Milo,
the Mask is mayor.'
Milo, Milo, Milo.
Mayor Milo.
Milo is the mayor too.
You're the first dog, Milo.
Isn't that great? I'm mayor. I..
Which means the life
of Stanley Ipkiss as he knows it
is about to come
to a screeching halt.
But I can't think
about that now.
But first, there's still
a matter of a little..
...public unveiling.
What do you mean I lost?
I demand a recount.
I'd like to take this
opportunity
to begin my term in office..
...with a proverbial...bang!
[screaming]
boom
May have lost the election, but
I'm still going through
with making Edge City Harbor
the world's largest
'toxic waste dump.'
You see, I took
backup measures
which my other half will now
initiate by manually releasing
toxic ooze
from the burst barge.
Unless I beat him to it,
Brainpan.
[whistling]
[engine revving]
[coughing]
[theme music]
[music continues]
Need a little...help?
But first..
[music continues]
splash
How ironic?
Destroyed by the very toxic ooze
he was fighting
so valiantly against.
[dramatic music]
[roaring]
No! Stand back!
Scared you, huh?
Okay. It's late in the game.
We're down by two.
Only one thing to do!
'And it's gone.'
That head is heading
non-stop to Hawaii.
whoosh
When you get to Hawaii,
drop me a postcard.
whoosh
WEDG TV with another exclusive.
The real mayor has been found
tied up in a lifeboat.
Mayor, how does it feel to have
lost the election
by one vote?
I didn't. I never got to vote.
And I've still got five minutes
till the polls close.
I voted for me.
Which means the Mayoral race is
now actually a tie.
Don't be so sure. I was so busy
being the Mask's..
...campaign manager,
that I-I didn't get a chance
to vote either. So, here I go.
Vote for me. I'll give you
anything. You name it.
With Pretorius out,
I can rest easy
putting my vote for Tilton
and end this
Mayor Mask stuff.
But first..
Your Honor, did you
say...anything?
Okay, what I think
is a garbage.
(Mayor Tilton)
'Garbage off the streets.'
Dog license. Cut-rate.
Parking tickets fixed.
Limbo parties?
Well, yeah, that or
a water buffalo in every--
Limbo parties. Deal.
Tilton gets my vote.
[crowd cheering]
You drive a hard bargain,
mister.
It's my...civic duty.