The Magicians (2015–…): Season 4, Episode 12 - The Secret Sea - full transcript
Previously,
on "The Magicians"...
A huge reservoir of magic
hidden underneath the castle?
- Where does it lead?
- To Roderick's secret chamber?
The Binder had a theory.
When a being of great power
such as a God is killed,
their energy is lost.
But he believed
it could be preserved,
effectively turning
the magician into a God.
- Oh, thank Christ.
- I didn't think I'd get through.
Listen, I don't have
a lot of time.
We need your help.
Surviving
first year students,
I am here to teach you
what not to do.
The Library, they don't
want you to know it.
Before we go in,
there's a small matter
of protection.
- What is it?
- Insects.
The bugs only last an hour,
so we need to be quick.
Everett's been lying
to all of us.
To do what?
To become a God.
- It's locked.
- Don't you have the key?
Someone locked us in.
- Who's dying?
- My sister.
I found her a body,
but I need to find one
that is more durable.
Like yours.
No running away,
little not-God.
I'd hate to damage
my sister's new body.
♪ Good news, sister ♪
I have found you
a much more durable body.
But I am going to have
to momentarily kill you again.
Shh, shh.
I beseech you,
Our Lady Underground...
You know what, fuck this.
You said you chose me,
so now's your chance
to prove it.
Julia.
Kinda cutting it close,
don't you think?
I didn't come here to fix it.
I can't.
You still have a chance.
A choice
of what you want to be.
You're saying this whole time
me being a human and a God,
this was all just a test?
Well, both options are shit.
I mean, you're... you're saying
one is pass and one is fail?
You will not fail as long
as the decision is yours.
Now go!
I can only hold him for so long!
Oh, shit.
Run!
*THE MAGICIANS*
Season 04 Episode 12
*THE MAGICIANS*
Episode Title :"The Secret Sea"
- Jesus Christ.
- So the monster took Julia.
- We need to find them.
- Do something now.
We have the axes
and the demon bottles,
you have the incorporate bond.
You didn't give two wet shits
when it was Eliot's life
on the line,
and now that it's Julia
you're suddenly leaning in?
Look, we all care
about both of them,
but based on
Mayakovsky's formula
casting an incorporate bond
strong enough to hold a God
would take an insane amount
of power.
No, we'd need twice as much.
If we go in there
without enough juice
they'll... they'll just body hop.
- They'll kill us all.
- Great.
Where the hell are we gonna
find that kind of magic?
Hey, Dean.
I would not go in your office
right now, if I were you.
If you shit
in my private bathroom again...
No, well, see,
there's kind of
a few Librarian dudes here
to arrest you.
Yeah, they're pretty pissed
about some lecture you gave
while you were pissed.
I've been expecting them.
Come with me.
Thank Christ I wore
the right suit today.
The right suit
for being arrested, or...?
Wait...
Are you still drunk?
That's entirely
beside the point.
We have a bigger problem.
Kady and Zelda haven't
returned from the Poison Room,
and they're running out
of time.
Oh, shit.
Who are they, and what does
that mean, exactly?
- God damn it, focus, Todd.
- Yes.
If I'm going to be arrested,
there still maybe be a chance
that something good
can come from it.
Here.
Yes, here.
Take this to the
Library book club immediately.
Tell no one,
do you understand?
Sure, keep it "confidench."
On it.
And try not
to "Todd" this up.
I will try not to be myself.
Well, so much
for getting Fogg's help.
Well, that's the last
of our protection.
On the upside...
tasted minty fresh.
Let's go.
Wait.
What the hell?
Hello, there.
Apologies, I was trying
not to startle you.
- Christopher Plover.
- Pleasure.
The children's book author?
Oh, you're familiar
with my work.
You could say that.
I've read
Martin Chatwin's book.
Yes, well, not exactly
the highlight of my oath.
Oh, you're the pervert
who turned him into The Beast.
And the man who survived
in this place for weeks.
And I can show you how...
if you help me escape.
Look, it sucks
that Fogg's out of "comish,"
but who else can we shake down?
Kady was trying to find
the Library stockpile.
If we knew where that was...
Found magic, need help!
Who sent you?
- Found magic, need help!
- Okay, where?
- Vague as shit.
- Oh, sorry.
It's Fen.
Right this way.
High King Fen awaits.
Whoa.
Sort of incredible.
Trippy.
Oh, good, you're here.
Fen, what is this?
And what's with the fish?
Follow me, come on.
Holy shit.
This is the reservoir?
Ocean of pure magic.
Pretty amazing, right?
I found it.
Well, Josh and me.
And Tik was there too,
I guess.
But, no, a lot of it was me.
One small problem...
Don't touch it!
That's the tiny little problem.
It seems to be protected
by some sort of curse.
Look what it did to Josh.
You're saying Josh
is a fucking fish?
Well, of course not.
He's a Fillorian Dying Fish.
A Fillorian Fucking Fish
is a totally different species.
Wait, "Dying Fish"?
I really hope
that's a metaphor.
Nope, they only live
a couple days.
And you're sure that's Josh?
Oh, I saw it happen.
We were gonna come
straight to you guys,
tell you all about
how we saved the day,
and then he touches the water
and next thing I know, boom.
Josh Fish.
Him and his damn showmanship.
So is it bad
if it turns white?
Great Umber's taint.
What are you doing?
Dying Fish need eye contact,
almost constantly.
Usually they get it
from their fish moms,
but we'll have to fill in.
Every pet I ever had ended up
in a shoebox or the toilet.
This one's all you.
It's just until we figure out
how to turn him back
into a person.
Or the rest of his life.
I'm not babysitting Nemo
when we're this close
to saving Eliot.
I've got bigger fish to fry.
Shh, Margo!
Don't say "fry" and "fish."
It's not working.
He's not getting better.
Margo, please.
For Josh?
Damn it.
So I just look at him?
My Gods.
He perked right up.
He's bonded to you.
He thinks you're his mother.
Unfortunately, that's not
the first time it's happened.
Closest thing to the reservoir
in the books
is the Secret Sea.
It's an underground ocean.
Chatwins sailed across it
with a crew
full of rabbit pirates.
Are those pirates
who steal rabbits,
or pirates who are rabbits?
Kind of both.
But it doesn't say anything
about the Secret Sea
being full of magic or cursed,
so I... maybe there's a clue
that I'm missing.
And if your nerdy bullshit
leads us nowhere?
We need a back-up plan.
Speaking of bunnies,
where are the ones
that Fen sent?
I have an idea.
So do all rabbits talk,
or...?
Some of them you have
to bribe with cigarettes first.
Look, about my message...
- No, I know.
- I owe you.
But I can't slip you
that kind of power
behind the Order's back.
The monsters have
two of my friends,
and who knows what kind
of chaos they're causing
while the Library does nothing.
Look, Alice...
I am not stranger
to messing up a good thing.
I'm not gonna do that
with the Library.
Well, if we don't
do something,
there might not be
a Library anymore.
Then why don't you
work with us?
Because your bosses would
arrest all of us on sight.
You wanna do some good?
This is your best chance.
I hope you find
what you need, Alice.
We're not setting him loose.
All we're promising
is to take him with us
if we find an exit.
Well?
Do we have a deal?
Moss?
My theory
is it counteracts the poison.
Probably why it's
the only other living thing
in this place.
Been eating it since I got here
and I'm as healthy as a horse.
How did you get here?
Former prisoner of yours,
Alice Quinn...
seemed to think this was
the place I deserved to be.
I can't say I disagree.
Don't bite the hand
that feeds you, dear.
Shall we?
At least give me my dignity.
Sorry.
Protocol.
Well, this was a new suit.
It's a bit loud.
Yes.
It certainly is.
Damn, the history of this
place is depressing as shit.
Most world histories are.
Nothing about a way out.
Kady?
Oh, shit.
What?
The moss should have
protected you from...
Oh.
"Oh," what?
The age-suspensions spells
Martin used to keep me alive
while he tortured me...
It must still be
keeping me alive.
Perfect.
So I'm gonna die in the most
ironic way possible.
Just like Penny.
Well...
not necessarily.
If we get back in time...
Wait...
All this time...
the Library had a cure?
- Kady...
- No, you...
you chose...
not to save Penny?
- If it were up to me...
- It was.
It's called
"The Poison Room."
The name is a warning
Penny chose to ignore.
No, no, no, you don't get
to hide behind the Library.
You think if you're a cog
in a fascist machine
that you're not responsible
for the people that it kills?
I'll admit,
he Library veered
in an authoritarian direction.
Because of Everett.
Once we remove
him from power...
No, no, it is not
just Everett.
It's the whole god damn Order.
It all needs
to be burned down.
Not if it can be reformed.
Look, as... as someone
who lived through
two world wars, I can tell you,
authoritarian regimes,
they fail eventually.
See? Look, even the
pedophile agrees with me.
Oh, hardly.
Problem is...
no one will ever
let you change.
People always see you
for what you've done,
never for who you are.
So at the end of the day,
no matter what you try
to become,
some judgmental blonde bitch
always shoves you down
a poison well.
Yeah?
Well, then I'm
Team Blonde Bitch.
Where's Fen?
I sent her out
for fish flakes
three hours ago.
Wait, you sent her out alone
in Manhattan?
Well, I kind of implied
it was her fault
Josh was a fish
and blah, blah, blah,
I'd blame her forever,
so she's cooling off
at Benihana.
She never could resist
a sharp knife.
Meanwhile, I'm trying
to read up on a damn cure
while maintaining
constant eye contact
with an anchovy.
And they say girls
are the ones who get needy
once you fuck them.
Wait... wait, you and Josh...
Wait, you know about
the little
werewolf stuff, right?
Who gives a shit?
- Nothing matters.
- Okay.
Look, it's not
a big deal, all right?
Sometimes we bang.
He makes me laugh.
And I like having him around
'cause of the
aforementioned banging,
and he just... you know,
he kind of gets me.
So what?
It's not like I'm in love
with Josh Hoberman.
It kinda sounds
like you are, though.
Have you met me?
I don't do feelings.
I'm the bitch
with the ice axes.
Well, you can still
care about a guy...
Werewolf, fish...
And it doesn't make you
any less you.
I mean, you can still be
a bitch if you want to.
Shit.
Maybe I do love
this goddamn guppy.
Uh, I think this is
the Hedge doctor
that Kady called
to fix Pete.
Says he's a veterinarian.
Maybe he can help
with the fish-Josh.
Josh-fish.
Way to be useful, Coldwater.
Is this Gordy?
Yeah, I've got fish problems.
- Josh and Margo.
- Yeah.
Okay, here's my thing:
Um...
I didn't think that I could
ever trust you again.
And now...
"And now"?
I find myself wanting to.
When we first met...
I was clinging onto some...
naive, idealistic notions
of what the world should be.
How people should be.
And I think
that I have realized...
If I just throw away
all that childish bullshit,
I can forgive people...
For not living up
to my stupid expectations.
Like yourself?
What if we tried again?
I want you in my life, Alice.
I want that, too.
Cyrus.
There was an intrusion
in the Poison Room.
It's Zelda.
With a hedge witch.
Did you follow protocol?
Yes, they're locked in.
But do we really just
leave her to die in there?
How long do you think we have?
If we got out now?
A few days.
In here?
A few hours.
The after-effects of the bugs
slowed the...
Zelda?
Shit.
Sorry to knock you out
like that.
It's the only way
we could talk.
You could have freed me.
You brought a hedge witch
into our
most protected archive.
I read your book.
You're hoarding magic.
Trying to become a God.
Why?
I put in centuries of work
before you ever knew
the Library existed.
Oh, so I wouldn't understand.
No, you should understand.
How...
Futile it all is.
We work so hard to protect
the flame of knowledge,
but there will always be things
we can't understand.
Knowledge of the Gods.
By becoming one of them,
I can rip their secrets away
from them
and bring them back
to the Library.
At what cost?
An unkillable God
is on the loose as we speak.
In the body of Eliot Waugh.
You intend to take his power.
He has the power
to destroy everything,
and all we have are books.
If we want to face
that kind of threat,
we need power too.
Isn't that what Bacchus
and the others
were trying to do?
They got drunk
on their own power.
Some of them literally.
What makes you think
you won't fall prey
to the same hubris?
Well, I thought I had you.
Excuse me,
but isn't this book banned?
Like, really, really banned?
Fuck me.
Uh, we need to get that
to the Poison Room.
Immediately.
Now, now, now.
You wanted me...
To do what, exactly?
To take over the Library
once I'm gone.
To see to the human concerns,
and to fix my mistakes
with the benefit
of all the knowledge
and the power I would bring.
I wish you'd told me
the truth sooner.
So do I.
So...
do what you must.
Follow protocol.
There is a way
you can still help me.
I redirected the power I need
into a reservoir,
but it triggered
a protective spell.
A puzzle I can't solve.
But I've discovered
someone who can.
Quentin Coldwater.
Get Quentin to open
the reservoir,
and the Library can still be
yours to lead if...
Did you slap me?
We need to move, fast.
No.
I didn't risk my life
to save a child molester.
- He can stay.
- What?
No!
We had a deal!
Tell him!
Well, your moss
didn't do shit for us, so...
But, uh... but I can help you
get to the reservoir.
It... it was a secret
of Martin's, and...
I know all his secrets.
I could share them with you.
- Incursion protocol.
- They're patrolling.
Come on.
Get to the earth fountain,
I'll hold them off.
Go!
Damn it.
Quite a trip you sent me on.
You ruined my suit.
But the good news is...
you're just about my size.
Keep barking, you Schnauzer fuck.
It won't bring back
your balls.
God, I hate animals.
So...
goldfish troubles?
Not exactly.
I see.
Not a goldfish.
Some kind of hybrid?
Oh, my God.
I am sorry to be
the bearer of bad news,
but your fish is a werewolf.
Wait.
So are you.
Did... did you fuck this fish?
Look, he's a human
who's been cursed,
and I need to know
how to undo it.
Well, it's definitely not
a hedge spell.
And without knowing
how it was cast,
not much I can do about it.
So, should I just go ahead
and flush it, or...
Again, he's a person.
I'm gonna need you to try
a little harder, all right?
Now, if I look away
for literally ten seconds
he starts to die,
and at some point
I'm gonna need to sleep
or drop a deuce,
and I don't allow spectators.
Yeah, there is some kind
of bond happening there.
Whoa.
Your eye is crazy.
Is that a wolf thing, or...
Fairy thing.
Can we focus
on fish boy, please?
It's not even attached
to your head.
You ever pop it out?
Why the shit would I pop out
my own eyeball, Gordy?
So you can point it
at your gilled lover
while you attend to...
lady business.
I don't know, man.
It feels pretty stuck in there.
Ah!
Holy shit, it's working.
I can still see out of it.
You ever touch me again,
I'll pop out your balls.
Uh...
See?
Problem solved.
I don't know.
This seems
kind of problematic.
Oh, I got just the thing.
Really?
Why does a veterinarian have
a pirate-themed eye patch?
Maybe it's best we don't ask
a lot of follow-up questions.
Jesus, what happened to you?
Hey.
- Just...
- Hello, Alice.
- Thought he was dead.
- Why'd you bring him here?
Because I just might be
the only person alive
who knows how to access
the reservoir
and save your friends.
Mm.
Okay, so the... the reservoir.
Yes, well,
that's what Martin called it.
I thought it lacked
a certain poetry.
So I renamed it
the Secret Sea.
Right, the fourth...
The fourth "Fillory" book.
Mm. Oh, I see you
have a copy here.
Ah.
Oh, first edition.
- That must be valuable.
- Yes.
Well...
even more so now.
The Watcherwoman
in the books,
she was...
trying to steal all of magic
for herself, right?
And then...
And then Martin stops her.
Most of that book
is pure tosh.
I had to invent that plot
from the whole class.
It's... well, I couldn't exactly
publish the stories
as the children
told them to me, could I?
I mean, the "Flying Forest,"
where the Chatwins discovered
recreational drug use?
Poor little Jane hearing about
the birds and the bees from a...
Did you know that centaurs
view necrophilia
as a way of honoring the dead?
Don't think I'd get
a Carnegie Medal
for explaining that
to children.
I mean, then there's all the...
All the exaggerations
and the lies.
I mean, Martin slaying
a dozen mercenaries,
and Jane riding
on top of a horse,
what, 100 feet tall?
I mean, what did she call it?
- Cozy Horse.
- "Cozy Horse."
Utter nonsense
thrown in there
just to see how much
they'd get me to believe,
and then Jane insisted
I keep it.
In real life, the ending was...
Was much darker.
Oh, Martin did stop
the Watcherwoman, that's true.
The Secret Sea was built
by the 13th king of Fillory
to consolidate power
for himself.
Martin wanted to make sure
that no one ever tried
to do the same thing again
so he drained the Secret Sea,
using the last few drops
to set a trap
for anyone who might
one day try to refill it.
A... a curse.
Right, so now one
of our friends is a fish.
Well, he was 13 at the time.
You have to forgive
his rather adolescent
sense of humor.
- You know how to fix it?
- Mm-hmm.
There's a garden
just outside the reservoir.
The Drowned Garden,
Martin called it.
Never did know why.
It reacts to your emotions.
If you're happy,
a flower blooms.
If you're sad, another one.
So one of the plants
is the antidote?
Indeed.
To make it bloom...
you have to truly love Fillory.
Maybe when I was 12, but...
I don't know,
Fillory's taken away
a lot of the shit I love.
Martin had the same problem.
He returned as an adult and...
could not make
the flower bloom.
His innocent love for Fillory
had... had soured.
Think we can all say why.
Quentin.
It has to be you.
I'm familiar with your books.
Even considering
your recent experiences,
Quentin has
the best chance of...
making the garden grow.
We don't have much time.
There's a contractor
the Library uses
- who might be willing to...
- Text me if you find somebody.
- So it's true?
- The Library has a cure?
I know, it's bullshit.
Go with her
before it's too late.
If this is some noble shit
about you not owing
the Library anything...
Oh.
You don't want to be cured.
'Cause for all
of the terrible shit
we've been through,
at least the upside
is that you know that
there's a life after death
and you get to spend forever
with the other Penny.
And what part of that
sounds bad?
The part where you're dead.
I may not know you
the way he did,
but I know that that would be
a hell of a waste.
Yeah.
Well, most things are.
A lot's changed
since I've been gone.
Yes.
The humans made
lots of good stuff.
They spend their small lives
building things
that we could smash
in a heartbeat.
Sounds fun.
Perhaps you can tell me...
Do I have a name?
Why would you need one?
Starbucks, mostly.
This whole time I felt
so sorry for you.
Lost and alone.
But you weren't alone.
You were with the humans.
You talk like them,
you think like them.
I ate a few of them.
Yes, but you care
about them.
You think I'm disappointed.
I'm not.
Are you scared of me,
little brother?
Would I have worked so hard
to bring you back
if I was scared of you?
All I thought about was you.
After I remembered
you existed, anyway.
And all I thought about
was revenge.
And I got it for you already.
I killed Bacchus.
Iris.
All of them.
Everyone who hurt you.
The question is,
who put us here?
Our parents.
They made us,
called us mistakes.
Abandoned us.
So, what do we do?
I like murder
as much as anyone,
but I did all of this
just to be with you.
Can't we enjoy it
just for a little while?
That's not what we were
made for.
It's not that I am terrified
of the Old Gods in any way.
It's just, how do you kill
an intangible thought creature?
Where do you even stab?
They're more vulnerable
than you think...
If we can get to their realm.
Which we cannot.
- We had a key.
- A scroll.
Found it a very long time ago
on this world.
The Order took it from us.
They didn't even know
what they had.
Now...
where would a bunch
of librarians keep
a very, very important scroll?
Oh.
Here.
This has to be it.
It's exactly
as Martin described it.
Think... think happy thoughts
about Fillory.
Pure.
Innocent.
Maybe try talking to it.
Okay, you just...
Well...
um, Fillory is...
obviously great.
Um, you know,
talking bears, right?
Who... who could hate that?
And... and opium in the air.
That was...
smart.
And...
socialized centaur medicine.
Are we screwed
because Quentin can't
get it up for Fillory?
- Just...
- Look, why don't you try...
Okay, no, stop.
I can't... look, you're the one
that ruined this.
I can't do it with you
over my shoulder,
so just... please, just go.
God damn it.
Okay, um...
when I was a kid
I... I loved the Fizzy River
that they found in book two.
And I loved...
I loved the Upside-Down Desert.
You know, the...
I can't really picture it,
but, you know, it sounds...
it sounds cool.
I don't know, I can't...
I'm sorry.
I just... I can't...
Hey. Hey.
I used to love Fillory
when I was a kid
because I didn't know
what it was.
Plover left out
all of the terrible shit,
and most of the good stuff
he just made up.
Even the fucking Cozy Horse
is a lie.
Remember what you told me
about letting go
of who you used to be?
I know, I'm trying.
Don't.
I don't want you to.
Believing in something...
Really believing...
Is almost impossible.
But the Quentin I first met...
he believed in magic.
And in Fillory.
He changed.
He grew up.
Being an adult doesn't mean
that you have to throw away
what you used to love.
Then what does it mean?
Seeing the world
through new eyes.
And for what it's worth,
the Cozy Horse is real.
I saw it when I was a niffin.
So big you could
build a house on it.
So...
let's go.
Okay, it's just you and me.
You know the worst part
of getting exactly
what you want?
When it's not good enough.
Then what do you do?
If this can't make me happy,
then what would?
Fillory was supposed
to mean something.
I was supposed
to mean something here.
But it's all... it's just...
It's random.
It's so random
that the only way
to save my friends
is to yell at a fucking plant!
Honestly, fuck Fillory
for being so disappointing.
You know what,
maybe I was better off
just believing
that it was fiction.
The idea of Fillory
is what saved my life!
This promise...
that...
people like me...
People like me...
Can somehow...
Find an escape.
There has gotta be
some power in that.
Shouldn't loving the idea
of Fillory be enough?
Guys.
Guys, something's happening!
Here's the door.
The key to the realm
of the Old Gods.
How the hell
does this thing work?
Give this to Margo.
If Plover's right,
it should cure Josh.
Monsters in Library!
- Sheila must have sent it.
- Monsters in Library!
All right, we have to go
before they leave.
Okay, I'll grab Margo
and the axes.
Hey, you sure
this is gonna work?
Well, either it will,
or when you come back
we'll both be fish.
Well, that'd be
an improvement.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Do you feel anything?
Super stressed out?
Okay.
Ugh.
Yeah, I'm totally feeling that.
Okay.
Grab your axes.
Monsters in the Library.
Are you baking for a fish?
He has a refined palate.
Yeah, here, this should fix
the whole fish deal.
And, yes, I noticed
that your eyeball
isn't in your head,
but honestly,
we do not have time
for me to hear that story.
- How long does the leaf take?
- I don't know.
But you know it works?
I can't believe
I'm saying this,
but I can't go
until he's cured.
If I leave, Josh will die.
- It's okay.
- Penny.
I'll bring Eliot back.
I promise.
Damn cheap bastards.
No, no, please!
No! No!
Shit.
What did you do
to get locked in this cage?
Well, I...
I went against
every instinct I had.
I tried to make
a goddamn difference.
Which, for the record,
you should never, ever do.
Julia...
if... if you're in there,
then I'm sorry...
for everything
that happened to you...
Because of me.
Hey, monster.
Lady.
Adorable.
Synchronized by srjanapala
on "The Magicians"...
A huge reservoir of magic
hidden underneath the castle?
- Where does it lead?
- To Roderick's secret chamber?
The Binder had a theory.
When a being of great power
such as a God is killed,
their energy is lost.
But he believed
it could be preserved,
effectively turning
the magician into a God.
- Oh, thank Christ.
- I didn't think I'd get through.
Listen, I don't have
a lot of time.
We need your help.
Surviving
first year students,
I am here to teach you
what not to do.
The Library, they don't
want you to know it.
Before we go in,
there's a small matter
of protection.
- What is it?
- Insects.
The bugs only last an hour,
so we need to be quick.
Everett's been lying
to all of us.
To do what?
To become a God.
- It's locked.
- Don't you have the key?
Someone locked us in.
- Who's dying?
- My sister.
I found her a body,
but I need to find one
that is more durable.
Like yours.
No running away,
little not-God.
I'd hate to damage
my sister's new body.
♪ Good news, sister ♪
I have found you
a much more durable body.
But I am going to have
to momentarily kill you again.
Shh, shh.
I beseech you,
Our Lady Underground...
You know what, fuck this.
You said you chose me,
so now's your chance
to prove it.
Julia.
Kinda cutting it close,
don't you think?
I didn't come here to fix it.
I can't.
You still have a chance.
A choice
of what you want to be.
You're saying this whole time
me being a human and a God,
this was all just a test?
Well, both options are shit.
I mean, you're... you're saying
one is pass and one is fail?
You will not fail as long
as the decision is yours.
Now go!
I can only hold him for so long!
Oh, shit.
Run!
*THE MAGICIANS*
Season 04 Episode 12
*THE MAGICIANS*
Episode Title :"The Secret Sea"
- Jesus Christ.
- So the monster took Julia.
- We need to find them.
- Do something now.
We have the axes
and the demon bottles,
you have the incorporate bond.
You didn't give two wet shits
when it was Eliot's life
on the line,
and now that it's Julia
you're suddenly leaning in?
Look, we all care
about both of them,
but based on
Mayakovsky's formula
casting an incorporate bond
strong enough to hold a God
would take an insane amount
of power.
No, we'd need twice as much.
If we go in there
without enough juice
they'll... they'll just body hop.
- They'll kill us all.
- Great.
Where the hell are we gonna
find that kind of magic?
Hey, Dean.
I would not go in your office
right now, if I were you.
If you shit
in my private bathroom again...
No, well, see,
there's kind of
a few Librarian dudes here
to arrest you.
Yeah, they're pretty pissed
about some lecture you gave
while you were pissed.
I've been expecting them.
Come with me.
Thank Christ I wore
the right suit today.
The right suit
for being arrested, or...?
Wait...
Are you still drunk?
That's entirely
beside the point.
We have a bigger problem.
Kady and Zelda haven't
returned from the Poison Room,
and they're running out
of time.
Oh, shit.
Who are they, and what does
that mean, exactly?
- God damn it, focus, Todd.
- Yes.
If I'm going to be arrested,
there still maybe be a chance
that something good
can come from it.
Here.
Yes, here.
Take this to the
Library book club immediately.
Tell no one,
do you understand?
Sure, keep it "confidench."
On it.
And try not
to "Todd" this up.
I will try not to be myself.
Well, so much
for getting Fogg's help.
Well, that's the last
of our protection.
On the upside...
tasted minty fresh.
Let's go.
Wait.
What the hell?
Hello, there.
Apologies, I was trying
not to startle you.
- Christopher Plover.
- Pleasure.
The children's book author?
Oh, you're familiar
with my work.
You could say that.
I've read
Martin Chatwin's book.
Yes, well, not exactly
the highlight of my oath.
Oh, you're the pervert
who turned him into The Beast.
And the man who survived
in this place for weeks.
And I can show you how...
if you help me escape.
Look, it sucks
that Fogg's out of "comish,"
but who else can we shake down?
Kady was trying to find
the Library stockpile.
If we knew where that was...
Found magic, need help!
Who sent you?
- Found magic, need help!
- Okay, where?
- Vague as shit.
- Oh, sorry.
It's Fen.
Right this way.
High King Fen awaits.
Whoa.
Sort of incredible.
Trippy.
Oh, good, you're here.
Fen, what is this?
And what's with the fish?
Follow me, come on.
Holy shit.
This is the reservoir?
Ocean of pure magic.
Pretty amazing, right?
I found it.
Well, Josh and me.
And Tik was there too,
I guess.
But, no, a lot of it was me.
One small problem...
Don't touch it!
That's the tiny little problem.
It seems to be protected
by some sort of curse.
Look what it did to Josh.
You're saying Josh
is a fucking fish?
Well, of course not.
He's a Fillorian Dying Fish.
A Fillorian Fucking Fish
is a totally different species.
Wait, "Dying Fish"?
I really hope
that's a metaphor.
Nope, they only live
a couple days.
And you're sure that's Josh?
Oh, I saw it happen.
We were gonna come
straight to you guys,
tell you all about
how we saved the day,
and then he touches the water
and next thing I know, boom.
Josh Fish.
Him and his damn showmanship.
So is it bad
if it turns white?
Great Umber's taint.
What are you doing?
Dying Fish need eye contact,
almost constantly.
Usually they get it
from their fish moms,
but we'll have to fill in.
Every pet I ever had ended up
in a shoebox or the toilet.
This one's all you.
It's just until we figure out
how to turn him back
into a person.
Or the rest of his life.
I'm not babysitting Nemo
when we're this close
to saving Eliot.
I've got bigger fish to fry.
Shh, Margo!
Don't say "fry" and "fish."
It's not working.
He's not getting better.
Margo, please.
For Josh?
Damn it.
So I just look at him?
My Gods.
He perked right up.
He's bonded to you.
He thinks you're his mother.
Unfortunately, that's not
the first time it's happened.
Closest thing to the reservoir
in the books
is the Secret Sea.
It's an underground ocean.
Chatwins sailed across it
with a crew
full of rabbit pirates.
Are those pirates
who steal rabbits,
or pirates who are rabbits?
Kind of both.
But it doesn't say anything
about the Secret Sea
being full of magic or cursed,
so I... maybe there's a clue
that I'm missing.
And if your nerdy bullshit
leads us nowhere?
We need a back-up plan.
Speaking of bunnies,
where are the ones
that Fen sent?
I have an idea.
So do all rabbits talk,
or...?
Some of them you have
to bribe with cigarettes first.
Look, about my message...
- No, I know.
- I owe you.
But I can't slip you
that kind of power
behind the Order's back.
The monsters have
two of my friends,
and who knows what kind
of chaos they're causing
while the Library does nothing.
Look, Alice...
I am not stranger
to messing up a good thing.
I'm not gonna do that
with the Library.
Well, if we don't
do something,
there might not be
a Library anymore.
Then why don't you
work with us?
Because your bosses would
arrest all of us on sight.
You wanna do some good?
This is your best chance.
I hope you find
what you need, Alice.
We're not setting him loose.
All we're promising
is to take him with us
if we find an exit.
Well?
Do we have a deal?
Moss?
My theory
is it counteracts the poison.
Probably why it's
the only other living thing
in this place.
Been eating it since I got here
and I'm as healthy as a horse.
How did you get here?
Former prisoner of yours,
Alice Quinn...
seemed to think this was
the place I deserved to be.
I can't say I disagree.
Don't bite the hand
that feeds you, dear.
Shall we?
At least give me my dignity.
Sorry.
Protocol.
Well, this was a new suit.
It's a bit loud.
Yes.
It certainly is.
Damn, the history of this
place is depressing as shit.
Most world histories are.
Nothing about a way out.
Kady?
Oh, shit.
What?
The moss should have
protected you from...
Oh.
"Oh," what?
The age-suspensions spells
Martin used to keep me alive
while he tortured me...
It must still be
keeping me alive.
Perfect.
So I'm gonna die in the most
ironic way possible.
Just like Penny.
Well...
not necessarily.
If we get back in time...
Wait...
All this time...
the Library had a cure?
- Kady...
- No, you...
you chose...
not to save Penny?
- If it were up to me...
- It was.
It's called
"The Poison Room."
The name is a warning
Penny chose to ignore.
No, no, no, you don't get
to hide behind the Library.
You think if you're a cog
in a fascist machine
that you're not responsible
for the people that it kills?
I'll admit,
he Library veered
in an authoritarian direction.
Because of Everett.
Once we remove
him from power...
No, no, it is not
just Everett.
It's the whole god damn Order.
It all needs
to be burned down.
Not if it can be reformed.
Look, as... as someone
who lived through
two world wars, I can tell you,
authoritarian regimes,
they fail eventually.
See? Look, even the
pedophile agrees with me.
Oh, hardly.
Problem is...
no one will ever
let you change.
People always see you
for what you've done,
never for who you are.
So at the end of the day,
no matter what you try
to become,
some judgmental blonde bitch
always shoves you down
a poison well.
Yeah?
Well, then I'm
Team Blonde Bitch.
Where's Fen?
I sent her out
for fish flakes
three hours ago.
Wait, you sent her out alone
in Manhattan?
Well, I kind of implied
it was her fault
Josh was a fish
and blah, blah, blah,
I'd blame her forever,
so she's cooling off
at Benihana.
She never could resist
a sharp knife.
Meanwhile, I'm trying
to read up on a damn cure
while maintaining
constant eye contact
with an anchovy.
And they say girls
are the ones who get needy
once you fuck them.
Wait... wait, you and Josh...
Wait, you know about
the little
werewolf stuff, right?
Who gives a shit?
- Nothing matters.
- Okay.
Look, it's not
a big deal, all right?
Sometimes we bang.
He makes me laugh.
And I like having him around
'cause of the
aforementioned banging,
and he just... you know,
he kind of gets me.
So what?
It's not like I'm in love
with Josh Hoberman.
It kinda sounds
like you are, though.
Have you met me?
I don't do feelings.
I'm the bitch
with the ice axes.
Well, you can still
care about a guy...
Werewolf, fish...
And it doesn't make you
any less you.
I mean, you can still be
a bitch if you want to.
Shit.
Maybe I do love
this goddamn guppy.
Uh, I think this is
the Hedge doctor
that Kady called
to fix Pete.
Says he's a veterinarian.
Maybe he can help
with the fish-Josh.
Josh-fish.
Way to be useful, Coldwater.
Is this Gordy?
Yeah, I've got fish problems.
- Josh and Margo.
- Yeah.
Okay, here's my thing:
Um...
I didn't think that I could
ever trust you again.
And now...
"And now"?
I find myself wanting to.
When we first met...
I was clinging onto some...
naive, idealistic notions
of what the world should be.
How people should be.
And I think
that I have realized...
If I just throw away
all that childish bullshit,
I can forgive people...
For not living up
to my stupid expectations.
Like yourself?
What if we tried again?
I want you in my life, Alice.
I want that, too.
Cyrus.
There was an intrusion
in the Poison Room.
It's Zelda.
With a hedge witch.
Did you follow protocol?
Yes, they're locked in.
But do we really just
leave her to die in there?
How long do you think we have?
If we got out now?
A few days.
In here?
A few hours.
The after-effects of the bugs
slowed the...
Zelda?
Shit.
Sorry to knock you out
like that.
It's the only way
we could talk.
You could have freed me.
You brought a hedge witch
into our
most protected archive.
I read your book.
You're hoarding magic.
Trying to become a God.
Why?
I put in centuries of work
before you ever knew
the Library existed.
Oh, so I wouldn't understand.
No, you should understand.
How...
Futile it all is.
We work so hard to protect
the flame of knowledge,
but there will always be things
we can't understand.
Knowledge of the Gods.
By becoming one of them,
I can rip their secrets away
from them
and bring them back
to the Library.
At what cost?
An unkillable God
is on the loose as we speak.
In the body of Eliot Waugh.
You intend to take his power.
He has the power
to destroy everything,
and all we have are books.
If we want to face
that kind of threat,
we need power too.
Isn't that what Bacchus
and the others
were trying to do?
They got drunk
on their own power.
Some of them literally.
What makes you think
you won't fall prey
to the same hubris?
Well, I thought I had you.
Excuse me,
but isn't this book banned?
Like, really, really banned?
Fuck me.
Uh, we need to get that
to the Poison Room.
Immediately.
Now, now, now.
You wanted me...
To do what, exactly?
To take over the Library
once I'm gone.
To see to the human concerns,
and to fix my mistakes
with the benefit
of all the knowledge
and the power I would bring.
I wish you'd told me
the truth sooner.
So do I.
So...
do what you must.
Follow protocol.
There is a way
you can still help me.
I redirected the power I need
into a reservoir,
but it triggered
a protective spell.
A puzzle I can't solve.
But I've discovered
someone who can.
Quentin Coldwater.
Get Quentin to open
the reservoir,
and the Library can still be
yours to lead if...
Did you slap me?
We need to move, fast.
No.
I didn't risk my life
to save a child molester.
- He can stay.
- What?
No!
We had a deal!
Tell him!
Well, your moss
didn't do shit for us, so...
But, uh... but I can help you
get to the reservoir.
It... it was a secret
of Martin's, and...
I know all his secrets.
I could share them with you.
- Incursion protocol.
- They're patrolling.
Come on.
Get to the earth fountain,
I'll hold them off.
Go!
Damn it.
Quite a trip you sent me on.
You ruined my suit.
But the good news is...
you're just about my size.
Keep barking, you Schnauzer fuck.
It won't bring back
your balls.
God, I hate animals.
So...
goldfish troubles?
Not exactly.
I see.
Not a goldfish.
Some kind of hybrid?
Oh, my God.
I am sorry to be
the bearer of bad news,
but your fish is a werewolf.
Wait.
So are you.
Did... did you fuck this fish?
Look, he's a human
who's been cursed,
and I need to know
how to undo it.
Well, it's definitely not
a hedge spell.
And without knowing
how it was cast,
not much I can do about it.
So, should I just go ahead
and flush it, or...
Again, he's a person.
I'm gonna need you to try
a little harder, all right?
Now, if I look away
for literally ten seconds
he starts to die,
and at some point
I'm gonna need to sleep
or drop a deuce,
and I don't allow spectators.
Yeah, there is some kind
of bond happening there.
Whoa.
Your eye is crazy.
Is that a wolf thing, or...
Fairy thing.
Can we focus
on fish boy, please?
It's not even attached
to your head.
You ever pop it out?
Why the shit would I pop out
my own eyeball, Gordy?
So you can point it
at your gilled lover
while you attend to...
lady business.
I don't know, man.
It feels pretty stuck in there.
Ah!
Holy shit, it's working.
I can still see out of it.
You ever touch me again,
I'll pop out your balls.
Uh...
See?
Problem solved.
I don't know.
This seems
kind of problematic.
Oh, I got just the thing.
Really?
Why does a veterinarian have
a pirate-themed eye patch?
Maybe it's best we don't ask
a lot of follow-up questions.
Jesus, what happened to you?
Hey.
- Just...
- Hello, Alice.
- Thought he was dead.
- Why'd you bring him here?
Because I just might be
the only person alive
who knows how to access
the reservoir
and save your friends.
Mm.
Okay, so the... the reservoir.
Yes, well,
that's what Martin called it.
I thought it lacked
a certain poetry.
So I renamed it
the Secret Sea.
Right, the fourth...
The fourth "Fillory" book.
Mm. Oh, I see you
have a copy here.
Ah.
Oh, first edition.
- That must be valuable.
- Yes.
Well...
even more so now.
The Watcherwoman
in the books,
she was...
trying to steal all of magic
for herself, right?
And then...
And then Martin stops her.
Most of that book
is pure tosh.
I had to invent that plot
from the whole class.
It's... well, I couldn't exactly
publish the stories
as the children
told them to me, could I?
I mean, the "Flying Forest,"
where the Chatwins discovered
recreational drug use?
Poor little Jane hearing about
the birds and the bees from a...
Did you know that centaurs
view necrophilia
as a way of honoring the dead?
Don't think I'd get
a Carnegie Medal
for explaining that
to children.
I mean, then there's all the...
All the exaggerations
and the lies.
I mean, Martin slaying
a dozen mercenaries,
and Jane riding
on top of a horse,
what, 100 feet tall?
I mean, what did she call it?
- Cozy Horse.
- "Cozy Horse."
Utter nonsense
thrown in there
just to see how much
they'd get me to believe,
and then Jane insisted
I keep it.
In real life, the ending was...
Was much darker.
Oh, Martin did stop
the Watcherwoman, that's true.
The Secret Sea was built
by the 13th king of Fillory
to consolidate power
for himself.
Martin wanted to make sure
that no one ever tried
to do the same thing again
so he drained the Secret Sea,
using the last few drops
to set a trap
for anyone who might
one day try to refill it.
A... a curse.
Right, so now one
of our friends is a fish.
Well, he was 13 at the time.
You have to forgive
his rather adolescent
sense of humor.
- You know how to fix it?
- Mm-hmm.
There's a garden
just outside the reservoir.
The Drowned Garden,
Martin called it.
Never did know why.
It reacts to your emotions.
If you're happy,
a flower blooms.
If you're sad, another one.
So one of the plants
is the antidote?
Indeed.
To make it bloom...
you have to truly love Fillory.
Maybe when I was 12, but...
I don't know,
Fillory's taken away
a lot of the shit I love.
Martin had the same problem.
He returned as an adult and...
could not make
the flower bloom.
His innocent love for Fillory
had... had soured.
Think we can all say why.
Quentin.
It has to be you.
I'm familiar with your books.
Even considering
your recent experiences,
Quentin has
the best chance of...
making the garden grow.
We don't have much time.
There's a contractor
the Library uses
- who might be willing to...
- Text me if you find somebody.
- So it's true?
- The Library has a cure?
I know, it's bullshit.
Go with her
before it's too late.
If this is some noble shit
about you not owing
the Library anything...
Oh.
You don't want to be cured.
'Cause for all
of the terrible shit
we've been through,
at least the upside
is that you know that
there's a life after death
and you get to spend forever
with the other Penny.
And what part of that
sounds bad?
The part where you're dead.
I may not know you
the way he did,
but I know that that would be
a hell of a waste.
Yeah.
Well, most things are.
A lot's changed
since I've been gone.
Yes.
The humans made
lots of good stuff.
They spend their small lives
building things
that we could smash
in a heartbeat.
Sounds fun.
Perhaps you can tell me...
Do I have a name?
Why would you need one?
Starbucks, mostly.
This whole time I felt
so sorry for you.
Lost and alone.
But you weren't alone.
You were with the humans.
You talk like them,
you think like them.
I ate a few of them.
Yes, but you care
about them.
You think I'm disappointed.
I'm not.
Are you scared of me,
little brother?
Would I have worked so hard
to bring you back
if I was scared of you?
All I thought about was you.
After I remembered
you existed, anyway.
And all I thought about
was revenge.
And I got it for you already.
I killed Bacchus.
Iris.
All of them.
Everyone who hurt you.
The question is,
who put us here?
Our parents.
They made us,
called us mistakes.
Abandoned us.
So, what do we do?
I like murder
as much as anyone,
but I did all of this
just to be with you.
Can't we enjoy it
just for a little while?
That's not what we were
made for.
It's not that I am terrified
of the Old Gods in any way.
It's just, how do you kill
an intangible thought creature?
Where do you even stab?
They're more vulnerable
than you think...
If we can get to their realm.
Which we cannot.
- We had a key.
- A scroll.
Found it a very long time ago
on this world.
The Order took it from us.
They didn't even know
what they had.
Now...
where would a bunch
of librarians keep
a very, very important scroll?
Oh.
Here.
This has to be it.
It's exactly
as Martin described it.
Think... think happy thoughts
about Fillory.
Pure.
Innocent.
Maybe try talking to it.
Okay, you just...
Well...
um, Fillory is...
obviously great.
Um, you know,
talking bears, right?
Who... who could hate that?
And... and opium in the air.
That was...
smart.
And...
socialized centaur medicine.
Are we screwed
because Quentin can't
get it up for Fillory?
- Just...
- Look, why don't you try...
Okay, no, stop.
I can't... look, you're the one
that ruined this.
I can't do it with you
over my shoulder,
so just... please, just go.
God damn it.
Okay, um...
when I was a kid
I... I loved the Fizzy River
that they found in book two.
And I loved...
I loved the Upside-Down Desert.
You know, the...
I can't really picture it,
but, you know, it sounds...
it sounds cool.
I don't know, I can't...
I'm sorry.
I just... I can't...
Hey. Hey.
I used to love Fillory
when I was a kid
because I didn't know
what it was.
Plover left out
all of the terrible shit,
and most of the good stuff
he just made up.
Even the fucking Cozy Horse
is a lie.
Remember what you told me
about letting go
of who you used to be?
I know, I'm trying.
Don't.
I don't want you to.
Believing in something...
Really believing...
Is almost impossible.
But the Quentin I first met...
he believed in magic.
And in Fillory.
He changed.
He grew up.
Being an adult doesn't mean
that you have to throw away
what you used to love.
Then what does it mean?
Seeing the world
through new eyes.
And for what it's worth,
the Cozy Horse is real.
I saw it when I was a niffin.
So big you could
build a house on it.
So...
let's go.
Okay, it's just you and me.
You know the worst part
of getting exactly
what you want?
When it's not good enough.
Then what do you do?
If this can't make me happy,
then what would?
Fillory was supposed
to mean something.
I was supposed
to mean something here.
But it's all... it's just...
It's random.
It's so random
that the only way
to save my friends
is to yell at a fucking plant!
Honestly, fuck Fillory
for being so disappointing.
You know what,
maybe I was better off
just believing
that it was fiction.
The idea of Fillory
is what saved my life!
This promise...
that...
people like me...
People like me...
Can somehow...
Find an escape.
There has gotta be
some power in that.
Shouldn't loving the idea
of Fillory be enough?
Guys.
Guys, something's happening!
Here's the door.
The key to the realm
of the Old Gods.
How the hell
does this thing work?
Give this to Margo.
If Plover's right,
it should cure Josh.
Monsters in Library!
- Sheila must have sent it.
- Monsters in Library!
All right, we have to go
before they leave.
Okay, I'll grab Margo
and the axes.
Hey, you sure
this is gonna work?
Well, either it will,
or when you come back
we'll both be fish.
Well, that'd be
an improvement.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Do you feel anything?
Super stressed out?
Okay.
Ugh.
Yeah, I'm totally feeling that.
Okay.
Grab your axes.
Monsters in the Library.
Are you baking for a fish?
He has a refined palate.
Yeah, here, this should fix
the whole fish deal.
And, yes, I noticed
that your eyeball
isn't in your head,
but honestly,
we do not have time
for me to hear that story.
- How long does the leaf take?
- I don't know.
But you know it works?
I can't believe
I'm saying this,
but I can't go
until he's cured.
If I leave, Josh will die.
- It's okay.
- Penny.
I'll bring Eliot back.
I promise.
Damn cheap bastards.
No, no, please!
No! No!
Shit.
What did you do
to get locked in this cage?
Well, I...
I went against
every instinct I had.
I tried to make
a goddamn difference.
Which, for the record,
you should never, ever do.
Julia...
if... if you're in there,
then I'm sorry...
for everything
that happened to you...
Because of me.
Hey, monster.
Lady.
Adorable.
Synchronized by srjanapala