The Magicians (2015–…): Season 2, Episode 13 - We Have Brought You Little Cakes - full transcript

A crisis comes to a head when the true power behind the troubles comes to party. Battles are won and wars are lost, as Q and the others must protect their kingdom. Alice makes a startling revelation and things may never be the same.

- Hello,
glorious audience.
It is I, Ember,
god of Fillory.
Feel free to bow and grovel.
I'll wait.
Oh, but I've got
so much to tell you.
I, with minor help
from my brother Umber--R.I.P.--
created a world
intricate as filigree,
and that is what I called it,
except I was a bit drunk,
Chock stuffed with magic,
chatty animals,
sexy creatures.
Really, what a planet.
I calibrated everything
for maximum entertainment.
I decreed it be ruled
by children of Earth,
a glum little planet
known for its plucky magicians.
These brave souls would come,
and when they got boring,
off they went.
Case in point,
Martin Chatwin.
Brave, clever boy,
born hero,
yet honestly,
very uncomfortable to watch
once he'd been molested.
So, I made
the difficult decision
to kick him out
and replace him
with someone
more punchy and fun,
but Martin was more tenacious
than I gave him credit for.
He drank from the Wellspring
to get strong,
screwing Fillory
in the process,
and set booby traps
for my brother and me,
and before you know it,
Umber's dead
and I'm hiding
in stupid Loria.
I'm so fucking bored,
children of Earth.
Cut to--
Martin's mutated
into a terrible beast
in a dapper suit.
Enter Quentin Coldwater
and his friends--
the Addict, the Victim,
the Bitch, the Scowl,
and the Martyr.
I bestowed my blessing,
and they set out
to kill The Beast.
Of course, they failed.
They had to start from scratch
with The Beast.
The danger of sublimated trauma
is a major theme in our story,
evidenced by Julia and Martin
teaming up
to kill the Earth god
who violated her.
All very ambiguous
and poignant--I know!
Julia's partnership
also threw a massive wrench
into Quentin's works.
I was forced to intervene.
I have the befouled
the Wellspring.
Wasn't it tragic
when Alice died?
Wasn't it scary
when she became a niffin?
The personal nature
of her story
subverted Quentin's
hero's journey nicely.
Character is destiny
and, ultimately,
Quentin is a Magician
of intellect who nevertheless,
and to his detriment,
acts from his heart.
But I did other things too!
Like lead Quentin
to that Candy Witch.
Don't worry,
that'll pay off.
I hid the Wellspring ball
in plain sight,
made the Rainbow Bridge bloom,
stole from the River Watcher
so he'd be good and angry
when Penny stiffed him.
Oh, I know, good one.
It was I who caused
the High King's bride
to ovulate on the right day,
leading to--
- Preg-nant!
- Ultimately leading to--
[falsetto] The fairies can
bring back the Wellspring?
- They can.
- [falsetto] And in return?
- A royal child of Whitespire.
Take her to the dungeon.
- He will transport you
to the fairy realm.
- I repeatedly broke
the filtration system
so the Wellspring would be
unpredictable and fun.
All those pesky "brownouts"?
To be sure,
the Order is on to me.
They're in a panic
about the Great Blank Spot,
surmising a fatal hit
to the Wellspring.
True, I am nearly finished
with Fillory.
Every chapter must end,
and on the eve
of my benevolent destruction
I'm getting it all
out of my system.
Like causing
sudden climate change
that kills entire
tedious species of wildlife,
turning people
into delicious rats.
All the babies this week
woke up with no mouths.
Oh, horrifying!
- [screams]
- I bet you're wondering
what happens next,
and that is how I know
I've done my job well.
Sit back, have a nice pipe
of marijuana,
and enjoy my grand opus.
I call it
Fillory's Last Gasp.
[wind howling]
- I just miss the fire, okay?
- Drink this.
- What is it?
- Renders you unable to harm
your own body.
- [whispers]
This is all pointless, Q.
You can't medicate me away.
- Just fucking drink it.
All of it.
- [burps]
Why did you bring me back?
- Why do you keep
asking me that?
I watched you almost die trying
to bring your brother back.
You loved him.
I love you.
- I'd like to be alone now.
[somber music]
- [coughing]
I take that to mean
I'm improving.
- Well, your skin's healing.
Obviously, your lungs are,
to use a technical term,
but more importantly...
- Just say it.
- You have lesions
on your spine,
and they're growing
- Cancer.
- Call it cancer plus.
- Whatever you were exposed to
has spell residue all over it.
- So a magician did this?
- Well, if so, it may be
a code we can crack.
- How long?
- Well, it's hard to say,
but I have
my entire department
working on it--
- I mean how long till I die
if you don't crack it?
- Two or three weeks.
But I promise you, we are doing
everything we can to--
- Yeah. [grunts]
- Okay--
- I'm not waiting to die
in a hospital bed.
- Okay, I don't think--
- I'm not!
- Can we talk please?
- Yes.
- [scoffs]
- Hey, there, hot stuff.
- No offense--you might look
as bad as I do.
- I doubt that.
You're dying.
All I am is
a little strung out.
- Kady...
- What? It's not about me.
- What happened?
Tell me.
- Reynard's gone.
I should be happy, but...
it wasn't how I wanted it.
It's not enough.
God, I feel like bashing
my head into a wall.
[sniffs, groans]
Why can't anything
just be fixed?
- Life, I guess.
[soft music]
- [sniffs]
I don't want you to die.
- Of course not.
I'm the best lay
of your life.
- [laughs] Shut up.
What are we gonna do?
- Wrap our minds around it.
Kady, let's not waste time
being mad, okay?
I'm just gonna find
Quentin and Eliot,
just gonna make
a couple pit stops first.
[distant horns honk]
[sirens wail]
- [sniffs]
[door opens and closes]
- That's, um...
a nice sconce.
Did you, um--
- Spit it out.
You want something.
- Yeah.
Are you okay?
- I'm whole again.
- W--
which is a--a good thing.
- If by good
you mean crying jags
and mountains of guilt
and panic attacks,
then, yeah,
I'm doing fucking great.
And since I better be getting
back to one of them soon,
whether I like it or not,
how can I help you?
- Q says you have an amulet
that would make me
invisible to a god.
- [groans]
[overlapping sounds]
- Um, I don't pretend
to understand
what you've been through,
but I can tell you
the way you're relating
to that couch
is not unknown to me.
- Then you know
I want to be alone.
- And, um, also that you
probably shouldn't be right now.
- Why do you care?
- I...just do.
Come with me....
and help me try to convince
Ember to let us keep Fillory.
- Why?
- Because I have never met
anyone less willing to take
no for an answer.
- But I betrayed you,
- [inhales deeply]
That was a long time ago.
[clears throat]
I need help, and you do too.
Let's kill a few birds.
What do you say?
Wanna put some pants on
and help me save
all of magic?
[ethereal music]
- I'll go talk to Eliot
and Quentin.
- Uh, Kady--
- Just tell Penny
that I went to find
a quiet place and do some dope.
I'm ready to leave
when he is.
-'s the deal.
I just read your book
in the library, both volumes.
- My book?
- Because it ends the way
they all do in a couple days,
with 20 blank pages.
Something's about to happen,
something magical
and really fucking bad,
and I think it's--
- It's Ember.
He's been doing
all sorts of fucked up shit
in Fillory,
bucket list shit.
What's in my book?
- You do your recon,
find out Prince Ess of Loria
has taken Whitespire.
- Shit.
- Then kidnap Idri,
who I guess is a rat,
turn him back, then camp here
trying to find the perfect spell
to force Ember to keep
his mitts off of Fillory.
- But if my book ends, then--
- Then--exactly.
We know that doesn't work,
so you need to anything else--
Pick a plan and commit.
- If it's written,
isn't it written?
- Yes, but I think
you can change it.
- Okay, so we can save Fillory
if we subscribe to a "free will"
view of the universe,
which is fair.
So what am I supposed to do?
- Go. Get Idri.
I just got one thing
I gotta button up.
[door opens]
- Hey.
I calculated a portal
to Tahiti.
- Hold up.
- No.
You warned them.
You've done enough.
You get to be done.
- I'm sorry.
Believe me, I'd rather--
- No, none of it matters,
Oh, come on!
- Penny, you're needed at once.
- I'm busy.
- Bit of an emergency.
We need our full staff.
- Are you crazy?
He's dying.
- Yes, because he went
into a restricted area,
which lethally poisoned him and
puts him on strict probation,
but most assuredly does not mean
he's excused from work.
We'll take every step
to keep him comfortable.
- What the hell is wrong
with you?
- Kady, knowledge itself
is at stake.
That is more important
than any single one of us.
I'll give you a moment
to say good-bye.
- No.
No, not good-bye.
- Kady, listen, I--
- No, I'm telling you,
this isn't fair.
God damn it!
- Just crack the damn lock.
Hurry, before
some fairy asshole sees us.
- I'm going as fast as I can.
- Fen?
Are you okay?
Sweetie, do you know
where you are?
- A plane laid atop our own,
so the Fairy Castle
and Whitespire actually occupy
the same space and time,
but two dimensions.
Or possibly the same dimension,
but incredibly sped up
like that one episode
of "Star Trek" where--
- Just get the damn chain,
- No.
Not without my baby.
They took her away.
- You have to come with us,
Get the goddamn shackles,
[chains clink]
Grab her with me.
Come on.
Come on.
[door opens]
- There you are.
The Queen will see you now.
[ominous music]
[crickets chirping]
[frogs croaking]
- You've been making yourself
quite at home,
sneaking around my castle.
- It's actually
more like my castle
that you guys have made
some weird AM radio version of.
- What is it that you seek,
rude little Earth girl?
- The woman and child
you stole.
- You made a deal.
- That deal was
inhumane bullshit
made under total duress.
just tell me what you want,
okay, lady?
- The child is mine.
Now on to business at hand.
- No, the baby is
the business.
- Ember is dangerously bored
of Fillory.
You underestimated
how devastating it can be
to displease a god.
- We've been trying to get
ahold of Ember for months.
He ignores us.
- Because you ask for things.
Offer something to him instead.
- How do you know all this?
- As it is
in our shared interest
for your High King
to succeed,
I'm inclined to let you
go help him.
- Great. Josh, Fen, the baby
and I will go right now.
- You know it doesn't work
that way.
Now, are you familiar
with this?
- No.
- But goddamn.
Smells good. [laughs]
- Even better to a god.
It will draw Ember.
Take it.
Bake it into--
- I know this one.
Little cakes.
He loves little cakes.
Point the way back.
- Certainly.
As soon as I've exacted
the toll.
Travel from this world
costs, dear.
I don't make the rules.
Oh, that's right.
Yes, I do.
We'll be seeing each other soon
I suspect.
[dark music]
- So, how's Alice?
- Eliot, I--
- We need your help, Q.
You gave her
the no-secret-cutting shit
from the keg, right?
- Yes.
she's perfectly safe,
but mentally--
What am I supposed to do?
[quiet music]
- You know what you learn
when you're a High King?
Screwing up is inevitable,
and there are some fuck ups
you can never un-fuck.
It's infuriating and
it is heartbreaking, but--
- Think I destroyed her, Eliot.
- She made plenty of her own
choices along the way.
I'm not saying it doesn't suck.
I'm saying...
Fillory needs you.
You chose to be a king.
This is what that means.
We have a plan, but...
We need someone who speaks
fluent fanboy.
[knocking at the door]
- You're sitting in my chair,
- Where the hell are
the guards?
- Fast asleep, sorry.
- Watch where you point
that thing.
- Dad.
You're okay.
I-I had to do this.
You were a rat.
- Could I have
my throne back now?
I'll fight if you want.
I've become pretty boss
with a broadsword.
- You have...
so don't.
- Fine.
- Always did like to storm out.
[door slams]
I should go too.
I should be there for my people,
whatever happens.
- You mean in case I fail?
- You won't.
- Hmm.
You know, since Ember
banished me,
I wonder if that nullified
my whole Fillorian contract.
- We could check.
[soft music]
- Uh, okay, so the thing is,
this blank spot,
it's coming up fast,
and it lines up
with everything that you were
saying about Ember.
- Is this tree
too asymmetrical?
- It's nice. I--
So there's no way that you would
want to help us, like, at all?
- One cannot just show up
after one's faked
one's own death.
I'm sorry.
The end of Fillory
makes me sad as well.
- So Fillory really is done?
- I like you.
You care about things.
- Yeah, it's not really a trait
that's helped me much.
- But it could be
if it were applied
to not trying to fix
the unfixable,
but rather something fresh
and more perfect,
like, say...
Care to take a visit?
Make some notes?
- Um, I--uh--
- I'm sorry,
but you're acting
like I'm asking you,
whereas I am a god
and you are a hairless monkey,
so nod and say thank you.
All right.
Let's go to the pocket world
formerly known as Cuba.
[rhythmic thrumming]
- Whoa!
[breathing hard]
Coming back
from the fairy world
is a little rockier
than getting there.
- You don't fucking say.
- Are you okay?
[dark music]
- Jesus.
- Fen wouldn't come
because they have your daughter.
I'm sorry.
I'll keep trying.
I promise, El.
First we need to deal
with that cock, Ember.
- We come bearing bait.
- I look like Jack Sparrow
if he were played by a man.
- I was actually thinking
more like a Fembot Nick Fury.
- No, I need to--
- I know, okay?
I was angry...and scared
of what you were capable of,
but you were doing your best
in an impossible position
that would've crushed anyone,
myself included.
Wait, is your good eye crying
right now?
- No.
And it's not my good eye,
it's my only fucking eye.
- Eh--[chuckles]
- It's not funny,
you dick, I'm a Cyclops!
- A mythological monster
at last.
- We're trying too hard.
- Pardon?
- To just blow past it
and banter.
It's not the same.
Let's not pretend it is, okay?
That makes it hurt worse.
- I guess we'll just have to
live with the strain
till the future
reveals itself.
Meantime, that future is
going to be a big, blank,
post-apocalyptic nada
unless we do what we do best.
- Act out with a total lack
of empathy and impulse control?
- Party like the world
depends on it,
'cause Bambi One Eye...
[classical music playing]
[laughter, chatter]
[soft moaning]
- Oh, my God.
- I threw better orgies
when I was ten.
- I give you little cakes.
I know they're irresistible,
it's the candied fairy hemp,
but resist.
This is for our guest of honor.
[people murmuring]
- Be brutal.
- It's really...
really linear.
[chair scraping]
- How's the linguini?
There's nothing wrong with it.
- Excellent.
That's excellent.
- [clears throat]
It's maybe a little, uh--
- Chewy?
- Bland.
- Bland...good, or?
- Bland is never
really good or bad.
- It appeals to all tastes.
- Sure, but...
usually people, uh--
creatures who can think,
gods even--
sometimes like the unknown,
the unexpected,
even the offensive.
Little bit of, uh...
- Chaos.
Happy now?
You know who would love this,
who would create an entire world
out of this greasy stain?
My brother.
- Yes, Ember would make a mess.
- Do not speak to me of Ember!
I like you, boy,
but I have a temper.
- Wait, what about
a human sacrifice?
- No, unless the cakes
are bad.
- [sighs]
Well, they smell great,
but I don't think
they're working, so--
- Little cakes.
Mmm. Ohh.
Mmm. Oh, oh.
Oh, yes.
- Welcome, Ember,
god of gods.
- Wait, didn't I banish you?
- You did, Lord of All, but...
- I didn't expect this.
- I can explain.
- I...
love it!
- Ha.
- A genuine twist,
a true surprise.
When was the last time
that happened around here?
- Exactly, and we're
really sorry about that.
We've fallen down on the job,
but boredom is death.
I totally agree.
- Ugh, isn't it though?
- It is.
- Mm.
- But...we can make Fillory
more exciting
and--and watchable than ever.
That's our pitch.
It's a new chapter
and the title is "Shit Tons
of Drama and Surprise."
- Intriguing.
- Don't destroy Fillory.
- Shake things up, yes.
- Like the rats.
- [laughs]
Yeah, rats, hilarious.
- It was good, wasn't it?
- Yes. Yes.
- We're all still laughing.
- Right?
- Mm-hmm.
- Right, laughing?
- Laughing!
[forced laughter]
There's so much more
to do here,
so many twists and surprises
this world can offer.
- Mm.
- Think back to the moment
you created
the first blades of grass.
- Sentient trees.
- Talking animals.
- The Wellspring.
- Think back
to what you built
with your brother Umber.
- My brother, rest his soul,
was nothing but a simpering,
sniping, anal retentive critic,
as well as a--
- Greedy, promiscuous,
mouse-eating slob!
- Any talk of this is
mere whimsy,
and it's whimsy itself that I am
tired of and finished with.
- We get it, we do. I mean,
try ruling a world of whimsy.
Am I right?
- Mm.
Not so whimsical,
- Well, then,
let's get it over with.
Why wait?
Let's start right now.
[deep rumbling]
- No, no, no, no, no, no!
Not what we meant--
[people screaming]
Rewind! Rewind! Rewind!
Rewind! Rewind!
- Stop!
Are you insane?
- No! I mean, we meant...
make it better, make it better.
Less whimsical, more...
meaner maybe, more you.
- Maybe, if I didn't
have to do it alone.
Say what you will
about my dear, departed brother,
but he was a demon
for overwork.
Hmm. He had a strange love
for this--
- Poor, accursed place.
Too late to be helped now.
couldn't bear to go back.
I-I won't.
I won't.
- Um, actually,
we're already there.
- Where?
- Apocalypse! Apocalypse!
Isn't it wonderful?
[suspenseful music]
- What are you doing?
You're making a mess!
- [grunting]
- I'm....
- You're alive.
How is this possible, brother?
You died battling Martin
to save me.
Why are you afraid?
I pleased.
[ominous music]
Martin told me you died...
when he banished me.
- Hey, guys, how about a hug?
- This is a family
- This was a family betrayal.
Wasn't it?
Wasn't it!
- No!
I can't be here!
- Oh!
All this time, I thought,
"Martin, so powerful."
But no.
He was merely
a brilliant dealmaker.
My banishment for your life.
Your puny, petty,
putrid nothing of a soul spark!
- [grunts]
- Brother, please?
- [grunts]
- [groans]
- You...always...were
the weak one.
- [choking]
- [laughs]
[suspenseful music]
- [choking]
[sword being unsheathed]
- [grunts]
- [reciting quietly]
Come and get me,
you fucking baby.
You want to know why
you're so bored?
Because you're too stupid
to get it.
You're too spoiled and entitled
to understand--
- How dare you?
I am a god.
- Are you? Really?
I'm not impressed.
I've met scary gods, and you?
You're nothing
but a petty tyrant.
- [grunts]
- [panting]
- Quentin--
[body thuds]
- [gasps]
- Holy fuck.
- Q?
I think you just saved
the whole world.
[dramatic music]
- We are officially
a land of godless heathens,
making today the first day
of our societal adulthood.
I, for one,
am slightly terrified
and equally excited.
And trying not to break
into "Hamilton."
And so, I turn over
the next phase of our maturation
to our High Queen Margo.
- We need a constitution.
- Pardon?
- These are
some pretty good ones here,
so let's rip off
the best parts.
[wind howling]
- Hungry?
I know Mayakovsky said soft,
bland food for a while, but--
I can see that's
not really working.
So I stopped by the farm
where Fogg gets
his weekly rasher of bacon.
- No thanks.
- You sure?
I tried it...
and, uh,
it's amazing.
- I know what you're
trying to do.
- I'm...just trying to do
breakfast food, that's all.
- Oh, fuck you.
- Please.
- Fuck.
- Gluttony.
It's an excellent part
of being human.
- I don't remember
many others.
- Really?
- Ugh.
Hmm, my hands are all greasy.
With every good thing,
no matter how small it is,
it's always...
married to something
so completely disgusting.
You can't escape it.
- You're right.
It's gross.
We are animals.
[peaceful music]
- Why does that feel so good?
- I don't know.
It just does.
It always did.
[ragged breaths]
[ship horn blows]
- Look...
I need your help.
- I'm not gonna beg.
I'm not gonna use guilt,
I have no leverage.
But Penny's in the Library.
He can be your mole.
But to do that,
he'd have to be alive.
- He'd never know.
Whatever you need,
ask me about it.
He tells me, I tell you.
- Who saved her man's life,
so maybe not.
Big picture, right?
- Deal.
- I probably shouldn't say this
out loud, but...
this was kind of an okay day.
- Are you bragging?
- No.
Kind of.
Not about this...entirely.
I also kind of killed a god.
- [laughs, snorts]
Huh. Hilarious.
- No, seriously.
I mean, he was...
erasing the whole thing.
- Wait, wait,
you can't be serious.
- Yeah.
- No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.
- No, I didn't want to.
He had just killed his brother.
He was going after Julia.
He was genocidally insane.
- You don't get it.
When I was a-a niffin,
I saw things.
I saw everything
from the beginning of time.
- Calm down--
- No, I understand
the way the universe works, Q,
the Wellspring, the hierarchies,
the plumbing.
I was inside it.
Gods like Ember have parents,
you idiot!
- I-I'm not following.
- The old gods,
the creators of the universe,
of all magic itself.
To Ember, we're like--
we're like toys,
but to them we're--
we're cells.
When we're harmless
they ignore us,
but when we become malignant,
they amputate.
- Now, if you're gonna use
stones like this,
it's imperative that--
[edgy music]
Excuse me.
Excuse me, this is--
- Okay, wait. Like,
so there's an actual plumber?
Like the Mario Brother
of the gods?
- Yes.
- And he can just--
- I guarantee you,
he's doing it.
[power winding down]
- [gasps]
[alarm whooping]
- Attention,
please keep calm
and follow
all code green procedures.
Please remember not to interact
and simply gather...
[tense music]
please keep calm and follow--
- Professor?
- Mayakovsky!
- All right, everyone,
open your books to chapter 16.
[somber music]
Who can translate
the Borkulo Rendering
from its original Hungarian?
No point in raising hands.
- I can.
- Dean Fogg?
Sorry to interrupt.
- Yes, Josh, go ahead.
- Well, I was online
last night--
- The answer is no.
There is no actual evidence
of a magical surge
in Sedona, Arizona.
- Yeah, but what about in--
- Or Kenya,
or Machu Picchu,
or China...
or anywhere.
Magic is gone.
The best we can do
is accept that,
and continue
our theoretical studies,
to stay ready for its return.
- So you think that's possible?
- Anything is possible,
- [quietly]
Was, anyway.
- Look at you,
playing the part
of the bright, young girl.
- Joseph?
- Ah, yes.
I can see my Alice
in there still.
- Are you all right?
- I am as I appear--dying.
- So it is true.
Magic's gone everywhere.
- The creatures, cryptids,
sylphs, dragons, unicorns,
even the pointless vampires
are all as they were.
But those of us who drew
on the power of the Wellspring,
well, as you can see...
- I want to help.
- I'm here, Alice,
because it is you
who needs help.
- What?
- As a niffin, you made enemies.
I'm here to warn you
that one of them seeks you.
- Who?
- The Lamprey.
You do recall what you did
to his family?
- Yes.
- Most amusing at the time,
but to The Lamprey,
cause for vengeance.
It knows you're weak.
It knows you're here.
[ominous music]
- What do I--
- Democracy has to take
a backseat.
Without magic,
the people are terrified,
and that is just one step
from an angry mob.
- And that's how royal heads
end up in baskets.
I get it.
I get it.
- This is an undereducated,
pre-industrial populous, Eliot.
They need to be ruled.
- They need to be inspired.
- They need to think
they're being inspired
as they're being ruled.
I'm talking curfew,
martial law, conscription,
and severe
and public punishment.
- Okay. Can we maybe
make our way
to King and Queen Caligula,
please? Maybe a--
- How do you not recognize me?
I'm the King's wife!
Tell them!
- Oh, my God.
Are you okay?
- Yes.
- How did you get here?
- [breathing hard]
I just gave them my toes.
- Gave...who your toes?
- The fairies.
- I wanted to stay...
to be close to our daughter,
but I had to warn you.
They're coming.
- They're here.
[goblet clatters on floor]
[rock music intro]
[rock music]
- Boo.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Jules, I--
- Hi.
- How did you get in here?
- Well, your--your fence
is a little shoddy.
- Right.
Welcome to the new normal.
You know, 'cause I killed
all magic fucking everywhere.
- Uh--[scoffs] Sorry.
That was definitely
a two-hander.
I'll be burning in hell
right next to you,
but hey, at least we have
each other.
- Hmm.
So how are you?
- Fine.
- How's law school?
- I quit.
- Okay.
- Because I need to show you
and you need to promise me that
you're not going to tell anyone,
'cause you're the only person
that I trust.
- I promise.
Jules, it's not gonna work.
- Just give me a second.
- We all get flashes
that we can do it again,
but it's--
Oh, my God.
- [breathless laugh]
- How?
- I have no idea.
[rock music]
- * Ooh, wah
* Ooh, wah
* Ooh, wah