The Love Boat (1977–1987): Season 3, Episode 1 - Buddy and Portia's Story/Julie's Story/Carol and Doug's Story/Peter and Alicia's Story: Part 1 - full transcript
(theme music playing)
♪ Love ♪
♪ Exciting and new ♪
♪ Come aboard ♪
♪ We're expecting you ♪
♪ And love ♪
♪ Life's sweetest reward ♪
♪ Let it flow ♪
♪ It floats back to you ♪
♪ The Love Boat ♪
♪ Soon we'll be
making Another run ♪
♪ The Love Boat ♪
♪ Promises something
For everyone ♪
♪ Set a course for adventure ♪
♪ Your mind on a new romance ♪
♪ And love ♪
♪ Won't hurt anymore ♪
♪ It's an open smile ♪
♪ On a friendly shore ♪
♪ It's love ♪
♪ Welcome aboard it's love ♪
(marching band music playing)
Wow, this Bowers
Bradbury wedding
is really going to be
something, isn't it?
Yeah. Those people
must be loaded.
Bringing an entire wedding
party to Alaska for the ceremony?
Can you imagine
having that kind of bread?
Only in a world without alimony.
Well, are you gentlemen
looking forward
to your first Alaskan cruise.
Yes, sir. I've been
reading up on it.
Did you know that
Alaska has 5000 glaciers,
three million fresh water
lakes, and a farming community
where it's not uncommon
to find cabbages
weighing more than 70 pounds?
Those Alaskans must
eat an awful lot of coleslaw.
Well, is all this going
to be on the exam?
(laughing)
- Good afternoon, sir.
- Afternoon.
Mr. Smith.
- Mr. Smith.
- Speak up, sir.
Why on earth are
you wearing that?
Because it's too heavy to carry.
Sir, I'm prepared for anything.
Ice storms, blizzards, sleep.
Gopher, we are sailing
from Vancouver, Canada
past Prince Rupert onto Alaska,
Juneau, Skagway, Glacier Bay,
Sitka and back to Los Angeles.
We are not sailing
to Santa's workshop.
Now, we should be due
outside assisting Julie.
The Bowers Bradbury wedding
party will be arriving any time.
- Why I was just...
- And please take that off.
You look like a sick sheep dog.
Maybe I just need a flea collar.
(marching band music playing)
Oh, that's okay friend.
I've been opening
doors for years.
Can't stop now just when
I'm getting the hang of it.
Uh, yes, sir, Mr. Bowers.
Now, that's another thing.
Back where I come
from, they call me Buddy.
Mr. Bowers is my daddy.
Uh, thank you, Buddy, uh, sir.
That's for getting me here
from the airport on time.
I... I... I can't take that sir.
I don't care if Mrs.
Bradbury stands on her head
and whistles Clementine.
I'll pay for her society
wedding and all that other stuff.
Whatever else it takes for
my Carol to have the best,
but you get yourself a good
bottle of whiskey with that.
Okay. Yes, sir.
Thank you, Buddy, sir.
(marching band music continues)
Hey, Buddy!
Bon voyage!
(theme music playing)
Hello, everyone.
Nice to see you.
That is Alicia Bradbury,
the groom's mother.
Name sounds familiar.
(chuckles)
She is formerly
Alicia Fairchild.
Her father left her
eight million dollars.
Only eight? What a piker.
Which one is the
father of the groom?
He's not coming to the wedding.
He's the black
sheep of the family.
Oh.
How do you know all this?
Captain's intuition.
And I also had a
report from head office.
(theme music playing)
Well, well, well.
How's my little sister?
Oh, fine, Portia.
(both chuckle)
I see you found yourself yet
another color blind hairdresser?
Yeah, well at least I found one.
Jesting, darling. Only jesting.
As usual, you're
impeccably groomed.
Oh, Dougie is getting married.
Can you stand it?
Are you ecstatically
happy, Alicia?
Actually, I'm wondering
why there aren't more flowers
in this lobby, and why
only one photographer?
Well, isn't that up
to the bride's family?
Oh, darling, the bride's
only living relative spent
two-thirds of his life riding
a mule through the tundra.
The only thing he could
arrange is a barn dance.
Don't tell me.
Let me guess.
You have volunteered
to arrange everything.
Yes.
And give me one
more little guess.
You are allowing the
bride's only living relative
to foot the bill.
What's that supposed to mean?
Of course, it's none
of my business,
but uh, I hear that you've been
borrowing from Uncle Percy.
You're right, darling.
It is none of your business.
I just hope you haven't
blown the whole bundle, Alicia.
Part of that money
belongs to Doug, you know?
(sinister music playing)
Enjoy your cruise.
P.A. VOICE: All wedding
passengers, please use gate 17.
The ship will say from
Vancouver at 1500 hours.
All aboard for Alaska.
All wedding passengers,
please use gate 17.
(dreamy music playing)
JULIE: If you ever get to LA.
Again, you could look me up.
Sure.
If you get up to Alaska...
You know, that's not
all together impossible.
We have cruises, and I could
get on one of them accidentally,
and maybe on purpose.
Sure.
Well, if you do...
look me up.
(Julie sobs)
Yeah.
(dreamy music playing)
Excuse me.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
- Do you work here?
- Yeah. I'm supposed to.
I'm Julie McCoy,
your Cruise Director.
- Oh, hi.
- How do you do?
- Cruise director, huh?
- Yeah.
Well, I'm Marv Prine, my friend,
Doug Bradbury's getting married.
Maw Nine, of course.
Yes. You're the Best Man.
Well, maybe not the
best, but close enough.
Aw.
Have you been to Alaska often?
No.
First trip.
Oh.
Well, you know, I know a
really nice restaurant in Sitka.
Aw, well, I really haven't
made my plans yet,
I might look up an old friend.
Well, listen, before you say no,
I have to warn you that I
respond very badly to rejection.
(chuckles) How do you
respond to a maybe?
Oh, there's Reverend McGuffey.
Hi.
It's good to see you.
Yes.
I always hoped I'd be around
to officiate at Doug's wedding.
I'll bet you never
thought you'd be going to
Skagway, Alaska to do it.
Oh, yes.
I suppose it would have been
more convenient if he married
the girl next door
instead the granddaughter
of an Alaskan oil man.
But not nearly as romantic.
MCGUFFEY: Oh, I agree.
However, you might get an
argument from that young lady.
MCGUFFEY: She
was the girl next door.
Reverend, darling!
Oh, hi.
Oh, have you met
Carol's bridesmaids?
It's Nancy Burken and Sandy...
How do you do? Where's Doug?
He and Carol aren't here yet.
Oh, well I guess
we'd better "mush".
Did you forget your snowshoes?
Oh no.
Hey, look. At this
time of the year,
the sun stays out
until almost midnight.
Well, that's extremely
interesting, Isaac,
but where the heck are
the bride and groom?
Well, maybe they
decided to skip the wedding
and go right to the divorce.
You're about as romantic as
a mud puddle. You know that?
I try.
(marching band music
playing) Thank you.
Well, it's now or
never. (chuckles)
Yeah. Guess we'd
better get on board, huh?
Uh-huh.
Sure you wouldn't rather elope?
You know I would.
Look, anything
to avoid this mess.
But if it's going to make
your grandfather happy
and my mother
happy, hey, I'll go for it.
How about you?
Let's run for it.
Oh, wait a minute.
No, no. Come on.
(marching band music continues)
(lounge music playing)
Doug, stay close to me. Okay?
For the rest of your life.
FEMALE: Oh, here
they are, everybody.
(cheering)
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Doug! Dougie, hi.
Hi. Come with me.
I've got a million people you've
just got to meet. Excuse us.
(theme music playing)
(marching band music playing)
(boat horn blowing)
(marching band music continues)
(boat horn blowing)
(celebratory music) (cheering)
(theme music playing)
(lounge music playing)
Hello, young fella.
- Hi, Mr. Bowers.
- Buddy.
Buddy.
This is quite a spread.
I haven't seen this much food
since the day my mother
quit Weight Watchers.
(chuckles)
For what this is costing me,
you'd think they'd make
the sandwiches a little bigger.
This wouldn't make
lunch for a fruit fly.
Hmm.
Hi, sweetheart.
- How's it going.
- Hi, Buddy.
Well, are you guys
getting warmed up
for the wedding to
end all weddings?
Working on it.
Yeah.
Listen, back in the
old days in Alaska,
if somebody wanted
to get married,
they'd just jump over a broom
and then go back and
chop wood and haul water.
Grandpa, you make it sound
like it was all work and no play.
Even the old days
people had time for love.
Oh, I suppose they did.
I'm just getting too
old to remember.
No, you're not.
Yes, I am too.
(chuckling)
But I'm glad of it.
I'll leave the billing and
cooing to you youngen's.
That reminds me.
I met this fantastic girl who
works right here on the ship.
I think I'll try and
interest her in a bill.
Maybe even a coo or two.
Hi, darling.
Hi, Aunt Portia.
So, how you making out?
Okay, I guess.
Lot of crumbs in the
upper crust, aren't there?
Hello, my darling.
- Hello.
- Hello, Natalie.
Oh, sweetheart, Mrs. B's
been looking all over for you.
Some relative or other wants
to give you the once over.
I think he's an
Ambassador or something.
Ambassador?
Don't be nervous, dear.
Just picture him
in his underwear.
GOPHER: Ah...
I think I see the
future Mrs. Burl Smith.
Which one?
Don't bother me
with the details, Doc.
I'm in love with both of them.
I'm glad you're not fickle.
I wonder if bigamy's
legal in Alaska.
- Hi.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Hello.
Please accept these assorted
numb, numbs as tokens of
my admiration and
possible future affection.
Mr. Smith.
Pardon me. Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
We have a lot of guests
to take care of here.
This is no time for a picnic.
Yes, sir.
Won't you try the
little brown ones, sir.
They're either pheasant
pate or peanut butter.
On the other hand, you
may not be hungry right now.
Some party, huh?
Yeah.
Sort of makes you want to
run right out and get married,
doesn't it?
Yeah, it does.
How about it?
Oh, I'm sort of saving
myself for Mr. Right.
It was a pleasure meeting
you, Mr. Ambassador, sir.
Good day, ladies.
- Bye, bye.
Carol, you're not
supposed to shake his hand.
He was going to kiss yours.
Oh, I'm sorry.
It's all right. I guess you
have to be born to all this
to understand all the protocol.
Right, Alicia.
Nobody can ever
learn it all. (chuckles)
(somber music playing)
What the hell is he doing here?
What's who doing here?
Carol, darling, that is
Peter Bradbury, Alicia's ex.
Dougie's father.
(somber music playing)
Doug, is that your
father over there?
Yeah.
What are you doing here?
I'm very well, thank you,
Alicia, and how are you?
(Alicia laughing)
Well, aren't you going
to say something to him?
If he wants me, he can find me.
You weren't invited, Peter.
Why are you here?
I'm trying to be a father,
and I wanted to see my son.
What makes he wants to see you?
He's done well enough
with you up until now.
Yes, I imagine
you've seen to that.
I also intend to see that
nothing interferes
with this wedding.
Especially not a drunk
who suddenly decided
he wants to be a father.
Well, I've been on the
wagon for a long time,
and you know that.
Yes.
Yes, Peter, I know that.
Unfortunately, it
doesn't matter now.
You see, it's...
It's just too late.
Always the ringmaster, Alicia.
Well, I may have
the same old face,
but I'm not the same old clown.
(theme music playing)
Anything I can do for you?
No.
No. I was just fascinated.
I've never seen a man
hang himself before.
I don't know why
people wear these outfits.
I look like I should
be handing out menus.
You mean you're not?
Oh, darn, darn it!
Never could tie
one of these things.
Well, don't look at me.
I wasn't looking at you.
Good.
Hey.
Who are you?
Portia Fairchild.
Oh.
Well, who are you?
Buddy Bowers.
Oh.
(theme music playing)
You are supposed to be
protecting my interests!
STANLEY: I can't
control the market, Alicia.
The price is dropping.
I don't know when
it's going to go up!
Well, how much has it gone up?
STANLEY: Down, Alicia!
It's going down!
You've got to sell!
STANLEY: I can't sell.
I'm using that stock
as collateral for a loan!
STANLEY: You're what?
Collateral.
It's a private thing
from my uncle.
STANLEY: Then my hands are tied.
Let's just hope the
market stabilizes.
Yes, lets.
(theme music playing)
(applause) (lounge music)
Did you know they have
these worms in Alaska
that live in ice?
I hope they like scotch.
Did you know that Alaska
was originally settled by
three different groups?
The Aleuts, the Indians
and the Eskimos.
No kidding?
The name Alaska comes
from the native word "Alyeska",
meaning great land.
And did you know that
there's a native term in Alaska
that means quiet?
Hmm.
Zip your lip.
Fine, fine.
Just don't come running to me
when you want to know where
the word "tundra" comes from.
All right. Where does the
word "tundra" come from?
Beats me. I'm just a bartender.
(lounge music playing)
Hi.
- Hi, you two.
- Hi.
Well, I see you got it tied.
Yeah.
I like Carol.
Yeah, me too.
When her folks died,
she was just a little one.
I brought her up.
You did a good job.
Gave it my best shot.
We were poor a long time.
She never complained.
I struck it lucky.
Well, there isn't anything she
might want I wouldn't give her.
Well, I'm glad she gets Doug.
He's good people.
I'll drink to that.
Oh.
To Doug and Carol.
Anybody else we can
drink to? I'm thirsty.
Well, how about,
um, to young love?
Hmm.
And thank heavens we don't
have to go through it again.
(lounge music continues)
Let's see... Sandy, Nancy.
Nancy, Sandy.
Sandy.
Good.
Now I'm out two girls
and my life savings.
Hello, Doug.
You're a hard man
to find. How are you?
I'm fine, Dad.
Uh, long time, no see.
Yes.
This must be Carol.
That's right. Uh,
Carol, this is my father.
It's nice to meet you.
How are you?
You're a very lucky man.
Well, I won't spoil your fun.
Very nice meeting you.
You too.
Good night.
(disco music playing)
Gosh, he seems really nice.
Carol, we've been
over this before.
I just have absolutely
no respect for the man.
Well, maybe if you
talk to... Dougie, listen,
they're playing our song.
Why don't we show 'em how
we won the dance contest, huh?
Oh, I don't know.
Oh, you wouldn't
mind, would you, dear?
Not at all.
Come on.
(disco music playing)
Whew!
NATALIE: Whew!
Whew!
(theme music playing)
- Julie?
- Hmm?
Feel like dancing?
I don't think so.
I guess I'm just not
in the mood tonight.
Oh.
Okay.
What are you in the mood for?
(dreamy music playing)
You sure you wouldn't
rather be dancing?
Uh-uh.
Would you?
No. I... I'd rather...
What?
I'd rather be kissing you.
(theme music playing)
Julie?
Oh, Marv.
Yeah, Marv.
Marv, can I take a raincheck?
Yeah, sure.
Thanks. I'll see you later.
Okay.
Excuse me.
The kid's crazy about me.
(knock on door) (exhales)
Hmm.
- Captain?
- Yes?
- May I?
- Well, of course.
Thank you.
Captain, I'm Peter
Bradbury, the groom's father.
Well, how do you do?
Fine, thank you.
Actually, I came
to turn myself in.
I am by way of being
what you call a stowaway.
I don't understand.
Well, I didn't know where
my son's wedding was
until I read it on
the Society Page.
I was quite prepared
to pay for my passage.
But when I inquired
about this cruise,
I found out it had been
sold out months ago, solid.
So I got this silly idea
that I'd show up anyway
and perhaps find
a place to sleep.
You see, it's important
that I see my son.
Have you?
Yes.
I'll get off at the
ships next port of call.
What? And miss the wedding?
Captain, I don't belong here.
(somber music playing)
One of the nice things about
being Captain is there's nobody
around to yell at
me if I bend the rules.
Tonight, you can
stay in my cabin.
And tomorrow I'll see if I can
find you private accommodations.
That's very kind of
you, but it's quite...
Or I could give you a blanket,
and you could
sleep in a life boat.
I can't wait to see your cabin.
(theme music playing)
(theme music playing)
Don't tell me.
You're contemplating forgetting
the marriage and running off to
become some exotic
dancer in a Skagway saloon.
(Carol laughs)
Can we talk a minute?
Sure. What's up?
Natalie.
She's really getting to me.
Yeah. I kind of thought so.
Well, I've known for a long time
how she feels about you and all,
but I don't know.
She's just never
been this blatant.
Carol, look.
Natalie has been kicked
around from pillar to post
by her folks.
They used to park her
with us every summer.
Yeah, I know, but I just...
I grew up with her.
I've traveled halfway
around the world with her.
And I like her.
Most of all... most of
all, I feel sorry for her.
She's in love with you.
Carol, she does not know
the meaning of the word.
We do.
Um-hmm.
Better be careful.
People are going to talk.
(theme music playing)
Hey, what about your Dad?
That, my lovely lady,
is a closed subject.
Now, what do you say
we go get some breakfast?
- I really think you should...
- Hey, come on.
We'll have champagne and caviar.
Yuck. Fish eggs for breakfast?
Sure. Come on.
I think I'll have
mine scrambled.
Okay.
(theme music playing)
You know, after a while I
realized there was a hell of
a lot more to life than just
the bottom of a whiskey glass.
So, I went back to teaching.
Things got pretty rosy...
except for a few odds and ends.
When we first started
out, Alicia and I...
We were just two kids
madly in love with each other.
Her father at that
time had all the money.
That was his problem.
But I loved talking to her.
I loved being with her.
I loved looking at her.
Even now, with all
we've been through,
I still can't say I
met anyone like her.
My poor Alicia...
buried under the mountain
of all those millions.
I thought you told me you
were here to see your son.
Oh, I did.
But you know, weddings
tend to make you sentimental.
Oh, by the way,
would you mind pointing
me to the doctor's office?
I have a prescription
which must be refilled.
I'll take care of it for you.
Thank you.
Oh, I've arranged
for a cabin for you.
One of our passengers
had to fly home on business.
I want to thank you, Merrill.
Thank you very much.
You know, I... I feel
I've made a friend.
So do I.
Did you know we sailed
past Prince Rupert last night?
Yes.
And?
And what?
Well, don't you have any
facts about Prince Rupert?
No, but I can look something up.
No, no, no.
Hey, Gopher, have you ever
wondered about Prince Rupert?
I haven't even wondered
about Princess Grace.
Hi, Mr. Bowers.
Oh, say listen, ah, what's this
trousseau tea you're setting up?
Oh, uh, well this is,
uh, it's an old tradition.
The gifts are laid out for
guests to ooh and ahh over.
That's why Mrs. Bradbury
wanted the gifts lugged aboard.
You mean, you didn't
have anything like this
when you got married, huh?
Ah, me?
It's pretty tough to make an
impression with two snow shoes
and a washboard.
Well, look on the bright side.
It could have been two
washboards and one snow shoe.
Yeah.
Nice day.
Thank you.
You know, you never
gave me your answer.
About what?
Dinner in Sitka.
All I got was a maybe.
Oh, I don't think so Marv.
It's another guy, right?
Uh-huh.
Every time I like a
girl, there's another guy.
I like you.
Like a brother.
I've memorized the speech.
I've got so many sisters, I
could start my own sorority.
This other guy,
does he live in Sitka?
Yes.
Is it serious?
It was. He asked
me to marry him.
That's pretty serious.
Yeah, but he has two daughters,
and I didn't think I was ready
to become a wife and
mother all at once, so I said no.
But now you're thinking about
changing your no to a yes?
I'm thinking about it.
You know what this
means, don't you?
What?
We'll have to have
dinner in Juneau.
- Do you need some help?
- No, no.
Uh.
Great.
Think that one's a refrigerator.
How could you possibly
put a cast iron hibachi,
next to a sterling
silver tea set?
You told me to arrange the
gifts, so I arranged the gifts.
Ah, I should have
remembered you have the taste
of a longshoreman.
What's that hibachi I gave
the kids doing over there?
I was just moving it.
Uh, I thought it would look
lovely over here by the tea set
(laughing)
Oh, come on.
You didn't really give
this to them, did you?
No. I just kind of liked
the way it looked over here.
What do you know?
A moldy old prospector
from the boonies.
Ah.
- Mrs. Bradbury.
- Yes?
There's a ship to shore
phone call coming in for you.
I think it's your broker.
We'll take about 15 minutes
to make a connection,
so they'll ring you in
your cabin. All right?
Fine. Thank you.
You're welcome.
- Caro|, dear.
- Uh-huh.
I have a phone call coming in.
- I'm afraid I have to leave.
- Oh, well I'll take care...
Natalie, you've been to
a million of these things.
Hold down the fort
for me, will you?
- Of course I will.
- Thank you.
Isn't this pretty?
It's one of my favorite gifts.
Oh, yes.
NATALIE: I have
one just like it.
Oh, really?
Yes. It was a gift from Doug.
Well, you made your choice yet?
Hmm?
The future Mrs. Smith.
- Did you like the gift?
- Yeah.
Which is the lucky girl?
Doc, I've hardly had a chance
to get near either one of them.
This wedding is interfering with
a potentially beautiful romance.
Well, you better make
up your mind soon.
Well, let's see.
P.A. VOICE: Mr. Smith
to the purser's lobby.
Mr. Smith to the
purser's lobby, please.
Maybe I was meant to be a monk.
PETER: Thank you.
PETER: Doug.
It's all right. It's ginger-ale.
You can taste it if you'd like.
No.
I believe you. I'm sorry.
Why, Dad?
Why'd you have to
change from being my father
into some kind of...
A lush?
Well, I got mixed up
in a triangle I suppose.
Alicia, me, Alicia's money.
It's awfully hard on a man
when his wife pays all the bills.
Great. Blame everything on Mom.
I'm not blaming
anything on anyone.
I take full
responsibility for my life.
I'm only sorry that I hurt you.
It was never that I didn't care.
Just I couldn't cope.
Are you sure?
STANLEY: Yes, I'm sure.
Even if I sold the house?
STANLEY: I'm
sorry, Alicia. That's it.
You're at rock bottom.
Well then, I guess
there's nothing else to do.
Declare bankruptcy, but
not for another three days.
Three days.
You've got to hold
them off that long.
STANLEY: Okay. I'll try.
(somber music playing)
(theme music playing)
(disco music playing)
Oh, howdy.
Howdy.
Howdy yourself.
Hey... hey, doesn't it
ever get dark around here?
- Dark around here?
- Yeah.
Ma'am, I got to
tell you something.
This is God's country.
Even the sun
can't stand to leave.
Hey, wait. Where's
your dinner jacket?
Aren't you going
to go to the party?
I just couldn't face
wrestling that tie again.
Oh yeah?
You ever try
getting into a girdle?
- No, I never have.
- No...
- I'll make a deal with you.
- What?
Next time you
help me with my tie,
I'll help you with your girdle.
No deal.
Say, I'm going to
go a little exploring.
Would you like to, uh...?
Sure, why not?
We're too old to get
into any trouble anyway,
wouldn't you say?
Portia, I like the
way you think.
(theme music playing)
Has Cinderella left the ball?
Oh, Peter.
Please, I'm in no mood to
match wits with you tonight.
All right.
I talked to Doug today.
He's a wonderful boy, Alicia.
And all the credit
should go to you.
You raised him single-handedly.
And you should be very proud.
Thank you, Peter.
Thank you very much.
Adam.
- Captain.
- How are you?
Just fine. How are you?
Okay. Oh, look, can
you, uh, fill that for me?
Bradbury? Relative of the groom?
The father.
Oh.
Adam?
This prescription
is for Dilaudid.
It's an extremely
strong pain killer.
Usually used for
terminal patients.
Oh.
(theme music playing)
LOUD SPEAKER: Good
morning and welcome to Juneau,
the capital of Alaska
and home of the world
famous Mendenhall Glacier.
We hope you enjoy your day.
Lady, you must be in love.
You don't even have enough
sense to come in out of the rain.
(laughs)
I am in love.
Hmm.
Well, what do you think? One
more day until the big event.
Yeah, if I make it.
What?
I don't know, some people
aren't cut out for all these parties
and events and things
even though your friend,
Natalie, seems to thrive on it.
Wait a minute.
My diagnosis is that
you are suffering from
an overdose of high living.
- Oh yeah?
- Yeah.
What you need is
some clean, fresh air.
Okay.
So we're on your home
turf, so show me Alaska.
- All right!
- Yeah.
(theme music playing)
Man, you won't
believe the spot I found
for our picnic in Juneau.
- Where?
- Juneau.
No. I don't know.
That's why I'm asking.
Funny.
Worked for Abbott and Costello.
Sandy, hey.
Listen, I was
wondering if tonight, uh...
- Mr. Smith.
- What?
Sir.
(dramatic music playing)
Oh.
Hi, Alicia.
Looking for me?
Peter.
Oh, no. Actually, I wasn't.
Well, I'm sorry I sort of
spoiled your trip for you.
What's done is done.
I'm sure we shall all survive.
Yes.
It is rather beautiful
though, isn't it?
Even though it is raining.
Yes, it is.
It reminds me of that
cabin we rented once
up in the North woods.
It was a long time ago.
(chuckles) Yeah.
We did have some
fun, though, didn't we?
Yes, we did.
Oh, I have to go.
What's the rush?
Well, there's the
wedding rehearsal,
and Doug's bachelor dinner,
and the bridesmaids party.
Oh, wait a while.
You mean not show up?
Sure. Why not?
Peter, you don't understand.
This is important. I
spent months planning.
Yes. You're the
world's greatest planner.
Parties, lives, finances.
The trick is to stop
planning and start living.
Oh, you're hopeless.
Oh no, on the contrary.
I'm full of hope.
I'll take you back
to your wedding.
Oh.
DOC: Alaska king crab.
Hmm. A meal fit for a king.
Or a doctor.
GOPHER: Julie, what did
you put in this mustard sauce?
Uh, mustard and sauce.
Hey, Isaac, here take this,
let me see this for a minute.
♪ Okay.
You know what this place needs?
Nothing.
Right on.
Sitka?
This is Juneau.
Yeah, well, uh, I was
just interested in this
one particular town, that's all.
For any specific reason?
The weather?
The scenery? The people?
The guy from Sitka that
you almost married last year?
Hmm.
I haven't thought of anything
else since we left Vancouver.
The wedding is really
getting to you, huh?
Well, maybe the wedding
got me started thinking,
but what's wrong with that?
Julie, there are a
lot of good reasons
for wanting to get married,
but I don't think keeping
up with the Bradburys
is one of them. Do you?
Jack Chenault is the most
wonderful man I ever met.
And he asked me to marry him.
How many chances
like that does a girl get?
But I thought you decided...
I know what I decided.
But it's a woman prerogative
to change her mind, isn't it?
Oh, sure.
Matter of fact, my
uncle used to say that
a woman's mind is
kind of like motor oil.
If it isn't changed
often enough,
it gets all gummy and sludgy.
My uncle was great with
cars, but lousy with women.
It's kind of soggy today,
but how do you like it so far?
Oh, God, it's beautiful.
It's almost worth it
letting you drag me all
the way up here to see it.
I dragged you?
I asked you if you
wanted to come along.
I'd have come here
with you or without you.
Oh yeah, well, I didn't have
anything better to do anyway.
Well, you never saw anything
like that in Paris or Rome,
now did you?
Oh, I never saw anything
like that any place.
I can see why you
love it so much.
You know, I can
remember one time
I came here with my
wife, Lillian... Yeah?
And we were standing,
I guess, you know,
around where we're standing now.
And all of a sudden,
the most beautiful rainbow
came off that glacier,
and it was so beautiful.
We just stood here and cried.
(romantic music playing)
What, uh, what
happened to your wife?
She passed away.
What about you?
How come you never got hitched?
I guess I just never stayed
in one place long enough
to get hooked.
So, you, uh, you never
took the plunge again, huh?
Well, it's never come up.
Yeah.
Oh, you get older,
and you figure...
Well, once is
enough for any man.
Of course, I had
Carol to take care of.
Oh, sure, yeah.
I got plenty to keep
me busy, plenty.
Oh, really?
(romantic music playing)
Look at them.
Portia...
I don't know quite
how to say this, but...
but I'm beginning...
I'm beginning... To
catch pneumonia.
Yeah.
Let's get back to the ship.
(romantic music playing)
(theme music playing)
CAPTAIN: Gopher, I want
you to check with Mrs. Bradbury,
see if there's anything
the ship can do to help out
with last minute
details in Skagway.
GOPHER: Roger. Right.
CAPTAIN: Touch bases
with the wine steward.
I think they need
more champagne.
GOPHER: Aye-aye.
Now, Mr. Bowers home
is a fair distance from town.
Make sure you have adequate
transportation from the dock.
Right.
- And another thing, Gopher...
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Where you going?
To the bridesmaids dinner.
Oh, gee, I'm going
to the bachelor dinner.
Too bad.
I think you'd be fun
to hang around with
if you ever had the time.
Their best, do you...
Gopher!
I'm lots of fun.
I'm... I'm more fun
than you can imagine.
Gopher!
You just wait until I'm the
Captain and he's the Purser.
I'll make his life hell.
Sorry.
(marching music)
Well, are you ready for
your bachelor's dinner?
One last night with the boys?
I can hardly believe it.
Tomorrow my Dougie
will be a married man.
What is it, Mom?
What's what, darling?
Aw, come on. Look, I know
you. What's on your mind?
Oh, I don't know.
Sometimes I think I
cheated you out of a father.
Maybe if I hadn't
pushed him so hard,
he wouldn't have become a...
Well, maybe, I mean,
we might have...
- Oh...
- Why do you do that to yourself?
Why... why put
yourself down like that?
Doug, I haven't
always been so...
Let me... let me tell
you what you've been.
I mean, you have been the
guts and backbone of this family.
You handle every crisis,
and you made it all an
incredibly smooth ride for me.
And so I guess this might be
just about as good a time as any
to say, thank you.
So thanks, Mom.
Oh, darling.
- Thank you, sweetheart.
- Sure.
(theme music playing)
So, where is little Carol?
Or are we having the
bridesmaid party without the bride?
Don't worry. She'll be here.
I guess it takes a long
time to pull yourself together
when all you're used to
wearing are jeans, right?
- FEMALE: Hi Carol.
- Hi.
Sorry I'm late.
Oh, never mind.
I'm sure no one noticed
your breach of etiquette.
Natalie, why don't you
just blow it out your ear?
It's obvious that there's
no way you'll ever fit into
the Bradbury family.
And that, folks, is what
is known as a poor loser.
Yeah, I think so.
Don't worry about her.
I won't.
I just hope this
doesn't take too long.
I'm meeting Doug out on
deck after the bachelor party.
Oh! A little last minute
hanky-panky in the moonlight?
If there is any moonlight.
If? Who cares?
Sunlight, moonlight.
Hanky-panky works
great in any weather.
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪
♪ Which nobody can deny ♪
(cheering)
Gentlemen, gentlemen,
a toast to Doug.
- To Doug.
- To Doug.
From this day forward, smooth
sailing, but no more cruising.
(cheering)
(lounge music playing)
So anyway, then he
took me all over Juneau,
and I tell you, Alicia,
the scenery is
absolutely breathtaking.
And the people are
wonderful, and Buddy is, is, is...
Yeah, well he's okay.
Don't tell me Portia the
impervious is falling in love.
Oh, don't be silly.
Ah, I spent some time with
Peter today at the glacier.
My goodness, Alicia.
Not you, too?
And now, from a man
with a lot of experience,
you want a happy marriage,
you do everything
your wife tells you.
But on the second day...
I wonder what the
guys are doing now?
Oh, probably ogling some blonde
who just jumped out of a cake.
Terrific.
(cheering)
Surprise!
(cheering)
Good old, Nat.
Anything for a laugh.
Somehow I don't think
she's doing it for a laugh.
(cheering)
(theme music playing)
Hi.
Hello, Carol.
I think your son stood me up.
We were supposed to meet here.
Well, it's his last
night as a free man.
I just hope he
makes it to the altar.
He's a fool if he doesn't.
You're going to
make a beautiful bride.
Thank you, Mr. Bradbury.
You know, it's a shame.
In other circumstances,
it could have been "Dad".
I know Doug wants you there.
Would you come to the wedding?
No. This is Alicia's show.
I don't want to get in the way.
I'm sorry.
It's all right.
ALICIA: Oh, Peter.
I've been looking
everywhere for you.
I... I'd like you to
come to the wedding.
Thank you.
(playful music playing)
Hi, Doug. I knew you'd
come back eventually. Doug?
That's okay. I'll wait.
Doug?
(whistles)
Well, so much for
bridesmaids and bachelors.
Yeah.
Yeah. Wedding's tomorrow.
Yeah.
Portia, if I were
20 years younger...
I'd be too old for you.
Yeah.
(stammering) Oh no. I'm sorry.
What... what were
you going to say?
Nothing.
- Good night.
- Oh, oh. Good night.
Look, Bud... Buddy, uh...
Would... would you like to, uh...
- I mean, we could...
- What?
Oh, nothing.
Forget it. Good night.
- Good night.
- Good night.
- See ya.
- Sure.
Oh, just as well.
Oh, nuts!
(dramatic music playing)
CAPTAIN: Good morning
and welcome to Skagway.
The Yukon train tour will
depart from the fiesta deck,
and for all wedding guests,
limousines will be
waiting at dockside.
(soft music playing)
(phone ringing)
(phone continues ringing)
Yes? Hello?
Hello?
Okay, Doug.
This is it. Let's go.
Come on!
What are you doing? You
want to miss your own marriage.
Let's go!
(soft music playing)
Hello.
Oh, hello.
You look like you're
going to a wedding.
Well, so do you.
I am.
I'm glad.
Oh, um, sorry it took so long.
- We had to have them flown in.
- Thank you.
I had a talk with Dr. Bricker.
Are you all right?
Oh yes, yes. I
hadn't quite run out.
Obviously, I never
mentioned it to anyone.
No use having to worry about
every little thing, you know?
What you have
is no little thing.
If it's one thing I've
learned in my life,
it's the fact that everything
is as big as you make it.
(dramatic music playing)
MARV: This is insane.
I think you just set a new
speed record for putting on
a morning coat under the
influence of a hangover.
- Are my shoes on the right feet?
- Shoes are fine.
- What?
- I got to talk to Carol.
- I forgot to see her last night.
- All right.
Doug. There you are. I've
been looking everywhere for you.
Mom, I need to go
talk to Carol real quick.
Darling, you'll see
Carol at the altar.
- No, but you don't understand.
- No, darling, no.
She has enough to do
without you barging in.
Besides, it's bad
luck. Now, come along.
Come on, honey bunch.
Time to tie the knot
and get me out of this tie.
Carol!
(sad music playing)
I've heard of informal
wedding gowns.
Oh, grandpa.
Baby.
Go on inside.
(soft music playing)
Mr. Bowers home is beautiful.
I can't imagine a more
perfect place to get married.
Well, you'll have
to wait your turn.
Doug and Carol have dibs.
(soft music playing)
Where's Carol?
- She ain't going to be here.
- Buddy...
You two got a
heap of talking to do,
now get back to the ship, son.
What?
(crowd gasps)
Folks...
I'm sorry.
There ain't going
to be a wedding.
(crowd sighs)
Carol changed her mind.
(crowd murmuring)
What a shame.
I'm aching for those two kids.
But if they're really in
love with each other,
they'll be back together again.
If they're not really in
love with each other,
then it's for the best.
Still, it does seem a shame
to let all this go to waste.
Yeah.
Would have been
a hell of a wedding.
Yeah, I mean... I mean,
you... you paid for the wedding.
It just seems to me
like there should be one.
Yeah.
Well, I always try to get
the most for my money.
Makes sense.
Do you want to?
Why not?
Oh, why not?
Yahoo!
Hey, folks, hold it! Hold it!
There's going to be
a wedding after all!
(cheering)
What's... what's your
first and last name...?
Who the hell cares.
It's going to be Bowers
in a minute anyway.
Come on.
(horse whinny)
MCGUFFEY: Marriage
is the commitment of love,
and affirmation of the
most precious of emotions.
To share these feelings is a
joyous thing as you have vowed
to cherish one another.
(dreamy music playing)
I love you.
- Jack...
- I'm not some romantic kid.
I... I know when I'm in
love and when I'm not.
I'm in love.
Jack.
You know, you're not
being very cooperative.
When one dope
says, "I love you",
the other dope is supposed
to say, "I love you too".
I love you too.
You do?
Uh-huh.
Really?
- No kidding?
- No kidding.
(dreamy music playing)
MCGUFFEY: By the
authority vested in me,
I now pronounce
you man and wife.
Ah!
(cheering)
What God has joined
together, let no man put asunder.
Now, you may kiss the bride.
(dramatic music playing)
I'm sure that this is
one of those stories that,
years from now, is going to
seem really funny to our kids.
But right now, it sure
doesn't feel that way.
Are we going to tell our kids
how Natalie answered
your phone this morning?
What?
She was just waking up.
Oh, look, Carol.
Natalie jumped out of some cake
at my bachelor party last night.
She must have gone back
to my cabin or something.
Well, that explains everything.
Look, I passed out
30 seconds after I got
back there last night.
And if anything happened
between Natalie and me,
well... well she must have...
she must have...
taken advantage of me.
I would have fought valiantly
for my honor, of course.
But you know that.
Poor Doug.
Seduced and abandoned, huh?
Yeah.
Carol, I love you.
I want you, not Natalie.
Just you.
You think we could
go back to my room
and talk about this some more?
Yeah.
Ah.
You know, I don't know
if you're dressed for it.
And just what did you
have in mind, young fellow?
Oh, I don't know.
Just don't plan on
being out of your cabin
for the next 12 hours.
(cheering)
Oh, I'm glad someone
will live happily ever after.
Oh, I don't think
they're the only ones.
I'm sure that Doug and
Carol will work things out.
How can you be so sure?
Ah, call me an optimist or
maybe I'm just a romantic.
I think people who love
each other should be together
and not let anything
stand in the way.
After all, what's more
important than love?
Thank you, Captain.
You're welcome.
For what?
I think you just
optimistically romanticized us
out of a cruise director.
(theme music playing)
(playful music playing)
Now listen, Mrs. Bowers.
Yes, Mr. Bowers.
There's nothing in the marriage
vows about me carrying you over
a threshold or up
and down halls.
Okay. Okay. I'll
make a deal with you.
What?
On our 50th wedding anniversary,
when we have our second
marriage ceremony...
- Our 50th?
- Right.
I'll carry you down the
hall. How about that?
You got a deal.
- Buddy.
- Oh, Alicia.
Oh, Buddy, you got to
talk some sense into Carol.
Carol's got plenty of
sense. It runs in the family.
DOUG: Can Carol
and I get back to you?
We're kind of having a
rehearsal for the honeymoon.
I mean, the wedding.
Ah.
(theme music playing)
You want to go to Buddy
and Portia's reception?
You go.
What's wrong?
Doug and Carol are
fine. They're together.
They're together, but
they're not married.
So what?
Oh, Peter, oh, God.
I'm bankrupt.
What?
All that money? How?
Through stupidity and greed.
I had to have more, always more.
Well, I'm sorry.
I'm truly sorry.
It won't make any
difference to Doug and Carol.
They love each other.
Do you think Buddy Bowers
wants his granddaughter
married into a
family of paupers?
Buddy Bowers couldn't care less.
Well, I care.
And he's not going to know.
Not until this wedding
is accomplished.
Not until my son
has the security
of the Bower's
fortune behind him.
I see.
Well, you encouraged
the right match,
but as usual for all
the wrong reasons.
Well.
(theme music playing)
LOUD SPEAKER: Good morning
and welcome to Glacier Bay,
home of 14 of the most
active glaciers in the world.
The icebergs you see floating
are pieces of the various
glaciers that have
recently broken off.
Our first stop,
beautiful Muir Glacier.
Doug.
Where'd you
disappear to last night?
Have you seen Carol?
What's going on with you two?
Look, I've seen her and...
All right. You know
you're an absolute fool
if you don't make up with her.
You do know that, don't you?
Yeah. I know that.
I know what happened last night.
Natalie snuck into your
cabin and all this and that.
I think if you just
explain it to Carol now,
she's got to understand.
Marv, would you listen
to me for a minute?
Do you want me to
talk to her? I'll talk to her.
I'm not going to let
the two of you break up
over some silly
misunderstanding.
Excuse me.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Maybe you'd better
handle it yourself.
Does this mean the
wedding's back on again?
Yeah.
I'd say the wedding's
back on again.
Last night was the most
beautiful night of my life.
Mine too.
Hey, you guys. Come over
here and give us a big hug.
- Oh. Congratulations.
- Buddy, congratulations.
You can do it. You can do it!
Where's my little
baby? There she is.
What do you think of
your old Aunt Portia?
I think she's terrific.
Love it. What about marriage?
Is this something you
recommend or what?
- Oh.
- Well, it's all right.
Try it. You'll like it.
Yeah, maybe we should try it.
I bet I could probably
round up the room.
- What do you think?
- That sounds good to me.
Okay. Would you guys
excuse us, please?
We're about to become
Mr. and Mrs. Bradbury.
Oh.
We'll let you know when.
Oh.
They finally came
to their senses.
Like us.
Yeah.
(soft music playing)
Oh, Sandy. Sandy, wait
a minute. Hey, Sandy.
Sandy, hey, guess what?
I have some time off.
I thought maybe we'd spend
it together. How about that?
- Not now, Gopher.
- Why not?
I've got to go get dressed.
There's going to
be another wedding.
Another wedding?
- Gopher.
- Oh, there you are, sir.
I've been looking
all over for you.
Good. There's something
I want you to do.
Of course, there is.
(theme music playing)
Better dust off
your party dress.
- Hi.
- Hi.
I just saw Carol. The
wedding's back on again.
Oh. I'm really glad.
Yeah. Me, too.
But I'll be glad when
this thing is over.
Weddings really take it
out of a guy, you know?
Oh. I'm looking
forward to one more.
You decided to say
yes to that guy in Sitka?
Hey, that's great. Really.
You're the first
person I've told.
Oh.
I'm sure you'll be very happy,
considering of course that
you are settling for second best.
Oh, Marv.
Whoever gets you is
going to be very lucky.
Why do girls
always say that to me
right before they
marry somebody else?
You already make a better
husband than I ever was.
Yeah, Mom said that,
uh, a lot of it was her fault.
She said that she pushed
you into doing things
you didn't want to do.
That's true.
But she was under
pressure from a lot of people.
When you're among the
richest women in the country,
you have to maintain
a certain image.
(soft music playing)
Well, well, well.
Look who's here.
Mother, can I ask you something?
Ah, yes, darling. What?
Why didn't you just
give all the money away?
You told him!
Oh, Doug. I am so sorry.
Uh, it won't exactly
be bankruptcy.
More of a liquidation of assets.
So please, don't worry.
I... I'll manage somehow, and
you will be married to Carol.
- All right?
- Wait a minute.
Let me get this
straight. We're broke?
Well...
And I'll be married to
Carol living off her money?
My God.
We'll end up just
like you and Dad.
Ah.
(theme music playing)
Hey, Doug.
Doug, I found the
Reverend, and I talked to him,
and he's ready to marry
us just as soon as we are.
And I saw Buddy and
Portia in the hallway.
I told them. I'm so excited.
We can't get married.
Wham?
It just wouldn't work out.
(dramatic music playing)
(theme music playing)
Peter, I don't know what to do.
Just don't do anything.
Just let people be.
Ah, you're right of course.
You've always been right.
I tried so hard
to control people.
I really made a
mess out of your life,
Doug's life, my life.
My life isn't a mess.
Doug's fine.
Got a good head
on his shoulders.
As for your life,
just try it one day
at a time as I do.
You'll have to teach
me this method of yours.
Just imagine you've
got six months to live.
I'd spend every minute with you.
There you are, it's all solved.
Don't be silly.
That takes care of six months,
but I expect to
live a very long...
Peter... no.
Oh, God.
Is there anything I can...?
Just one day at a time, Alicia.
One day at a time.
(sad music playing)
(theme music playing)
Captain Stubbing.
Ms. McCoy, what are you
doing up at two in the morning?
Well, I couldn't sleep,
and there's something
I want to tell you.
So it's true.
You are planning to
leave us to get married?
Hey, try to keep a
secret around here.
How does Jack feel about it?
I haven't told him yet.
You haven't even called?
Well, I did when
we were in Skagway,
but when he answered, I
got all confused and excited,
and there were so many
things I wanted to tell him.
I couldn't tell him
on the telephone.
So I pretended I
had a wrong number.
I know it's silly,
but he's going to be so
excited when I surprise him.
I can't imagine what it'll be
like around here without you.
Neither can I.
Captain, I'll be sailing with
you for the rest of the cruise,
but I just wanted to tell
you I'm going to miss you.
JULIE: Hmm.
Well, I think I'd better be
getting back to my work.
Yes, sir. Good night.
Thank you, Captain.
CAPTAIN: Good night.
(Russian music playing)
LOUD SPEAKER: Good
morning and welcome to Sitka,
the earliest Russian
settlement in Alaska.
At dockside, the authentic
Russian folk dancers.
We hope you enjoy your day.
DOC: Julie, are you sure
you're going to be able to find
Jack's house, because this
looks like a pretty confusing town?
JULIE: Oh, I can ask directions.
GOPHER: Listen, maybe
you'd rather come along with us
and see the totem pole?
JULIE: Uh... GOPHER:
I guess not, huh?
JULIE: No.
ISAAC: Julie, there's
something I have to tell you.
JULIE: Yeah?
ISAAC: Uh, the Russian
orphanage here in Sitka
is the oldest existing
building in Alaska.
JULIE: Oh, you guys.
I'll be back on
the ship later on.
It's not like I'm never
going to see you again.
- GOPHER: We know.
- ISAAC: We know.
- Bye bye.
- Bye bye.
- GOPHER: Have a good time.
- DOC: So long, Julie. Have fun.
- ISAAC: Good luck.
- JULIE: Bye.
(Russian music
continues playing)
Well, look who's here.
Hi ya, Nat.
Not going in to Sitka?
No. I was sort of hoping for a
handsome young man to take me.
Well, I'll tell you what.
If I see him, I'll tell him
you're looking for him.
You know I mean you, silly.
Doug. Doug, is it obvious
to everybody but you
that you and Carol are
just not meant to be?
There is somebody on
this ship who's good for you.
You don't have to look too far.
Natalie, you don't want me.
You could never
live without all this.
Why should I have to.
Because we are busted.
All of Alicia's money...
down the drain.
No more cruise ships...
jet airplanes.
From now on, it is the bus.
You still want to go along?
I didn't think so.
(sad music playing)
(dreamy music playing)
Oh.
Jack!
- Julie.
- Hi!
(giggling) Hi.
What are you doing here?
Didn't you see the ship?
I see ships all the time,
but you've never
gotten off one before.
I wanted to call you, but I
kept getting all tongue tied
every time I picked
up the phone.
Oh, Jack. I missed you so much.
Hmm.
I missed you too.
Oh, it feels so good
to touch you again.
Oh.
- Julie.
- Huh?
I sort of... sort of figured
you had forgotten about us.
You stopped writing.
Oh, I... I know.
I got confused, but
I'm not anymore.
Oh, Jack.
I could never forget you.
Letting you and the girls out of
my life was the biggest mistake
I ever made.
Julie, we didn't know
you were coming.
For the longest time, I kept
hoping you'd change your mind
about marrying me.
I kept thinking one day
I'd get a letter saying
you were on your way.
But your... your letters
never said that and then...
And then they stopped coming.
I finally stopped hoping and
then all that seemed to be left
was a kind of dull ache.
Oh, Jack. I'm so sorry.
And... and... and there
was a great emptiness
that had to be filled in
my life and the girls lives.
So when I met somebody
who could fill that emptiness,
I got married two
months ago, Julie.
(dramatic music playing)
Oh...
- Julie, I'm...
- No, no. That's all right.
I'm all right. I... I'm really
happy for you, really.
The girls should be back
soon. Do you want to...
No, no.
I'd better be getting back.
Oh.
Give them my love, will you?
Julie.
I'm sorry.
I love you.
(sad music playing)
(theme music playing)
- I don't know, man.
- No, no. Don't say a word.
- What?
- Alaska.
- All right.
- Come on, Gopher.
GOPHER: Hello, sir.
Oh, how was Sitka?
Well, sir. You know
Mr. Alaska here,
the man who knows
everything there is to know
about our 49th state.
The supreme authority
on all things Alaskan.
I got lost.
I wish you'd lose
that dumb book.
Attention, here
comes the bride to be.
Hey, I've seen tears
of happiness before,
but this is ridiculous.
Julie?
I'll be okay, don't worry Um,
he married somebody else.
I'm just going to
have a real good cry
and then everything
will be back to normal.
About how long
does a good cry take?
I think a couple of
weeks ought to do it.
(sad music playing)
Carol, darling.
Uh.
Seems we both have
lousy taste in men, huh?
And what's that
supposed to mean?
Oh, you're probably
the last to know.
Alicia is bankrupt.
I guess that makes Doug
infinitely less interesting,
wouldn't you say?
Ever the peasant.
(soft music playing)
Doug?
Um, I... I know about the money.
I guess you think you're being
gallant or noble or something.
No.
No, just practical.
I can be practical too.
You know I hate
all that money stuff.
Best years of my life were
spent in a cabin in the middle of
nowhere keeping house with Buddy
and growing my own vegetables.
Carol.
That isn't valid.
You don't have to
do that anymore.
Sure I do.
Even a crazy man like
you needs fresh vegetables.
(theme music playing)
(soft music playing)
Hi.
Hi.
I heard, you know. I'm sorry.
It was all my own fault.
I set myself up for the biggest
fall ever attempted on dry land.
It really never occurred
to me that he would...
I just assumed
that he'd be there
when I decided I was ready.
Damn, I wasn't
going to cry anymore.
Oh.
Yeah.
You know, most girls
spend their whole lives
looking for that
one special guy.
What do you do
when you found him,
but he picked somebody else?
It's all right, Julie.
It's okay.
(romantic music playing)
Julie, I really like you.
I mean, I really like you.
And...
See, I feel like we're pretty
good friends, you know?
And I don't want to jeopardize
that for a night of rebounding.
I can't believe this.
Under any other circumstances,
I think they'd have to hose me
down with liquid helium
to keep my hands off you.
Maybe right now you need
a friend more than a lover.
You know?
Are friends allowed to hug?
Oh, it's mandatory.
(soft music playing)
Marv?
Hmm?
Thanks.
Anytime.
(theme music playing)
(both) I take you
to live with and love,
to believe in through
adversity and trial.
To help you realize
your full potential,
to create a lasting union
based on mutual respect.
I take you to
make my life whole.
By the authority vested in me, I
now pronounce you man and wife.
You may kiss the bride.
(cheering)
(music playing)
(theme music playing)
This is really one
cruise I hate to see end.
Not an end, Captain.
It's a beginning.
Every day is a
beginning, Merrill,
whether you have
one or a thousand.
- I hope you'll have a thousand.
- Thank you.
One at a time, Captain.
One at a time.
(theme music playing)
- Hello.
- Well, hello.
Hi.
Okay, Gopher, this
is your last chance.
Now look, you ask one
of them out to dinner
and I'll ask the other one.
Yeah, but Doc I... I still don't
know which one to choose.
Um.. uh...
You'd better make
up your mind quick.
Okay. I'll take,
uh... I'll take Nancy.
No wait, Sandy. No, I...
Wait a minute, Nancy...
I'll take... I'll take, uh...
- Gopher!
- All right. Okay.
I'm... I'm going to take Sandy.
I'll take Sandy.
Okay. I'll take Nancy.
Okay.
Excuse me. How are you?
You are so cute. May I?
Oh.
I tell you, we have some waves
out there you wouldn't believe.
Hi.
Sandy, I'm off duty, and I have
the rest of the weekend free.
So I thought that you and I...
Oh, I wish I could stay
and talk to you, Gopher,
but my husband is
coming to pick me up.
Oh, there he is.
Hey, Gopher.
What are you doing this evening?
Killing myself.
Wow, maybe you'd rather
catch up on some reading instead.
There's really some interesting
stuff in this book, man.
Take care of yourself.
I will. It's going to
take me some time.
Yeah. I know.
Just remember, if... uh,
anyone gives you a hard time,
just call on big brother here.
Yeah. If you ever
need a sister...
You'll have to take your
place at the back of the line
like everybody else.
Oh, Marv.
Bye, Julie.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
- Julie.
- Yes, sir.
This telegram came for you.
Thank you, sir.
You're welcome.
(soft music playing)
JACK: Cannot convey my
feelings in ten words or less.
I hope somehow
you will understand.
I married a wonderful woman.
We're happy and the girls
love her as much as I do.
But if it makes any
difference at this point,
none of us ever stopped
loving Julie McCoy.
Okay, everybody! Hurry up!
Here they come! Come on!
(cheering)
(theme music playing)
(theme music playing)
♪ Love ♪
♪ Exciting and new ♪
♪ Come aboard ♪
♪ We're expecting you ♪
♪ And love ♪
♪ Life's sweetest reward ♪
♪ Let it flow ♪
♪ It floats back to you ♪
♪ The Love Boat ♪
♪ Soon we'll be
making Another run ♪
♪ The Love Boat ♪
♪ Promises something
For everyone ♪
♪ Set a course for adventure ♪
♪ Your mind on a new romance ♪
♪ And love ♪
♪ Won't hurt anymore ♪
♪ It's an open smile ♪
♪ On a friendly shore ♪
♪ It's love ♪
♪ Welcome aboard it's love ♪
(marching band music playing)
Wow, this Bowers
Bradbury wedding
is really going to be
something, isn't it?
Yeah. Those people
must be loaded.
Bringing an entire wedding
party to Alaska for the ceremony?
Can you imagine
having that kind of bread?
Only in a world without alimony.
Well, are you gentlemen
looking forward
to your first Alaskan cruise.
Yes, sir. I've been
reading up on it.
Did you know that
Alaska has 5000 glaciers,
three million fresh water
lakes, and a farming community
where it's not uncommon
to find cabbages
weighing more than 70 pounds?
Those Alaskans must
eat an awful lot of coleslaw.
Well, is all this going
to be on the exam?
(laughing)
- Good afternoon, sir.
- Afternoon.
Mr. Smith.
- Mr. Smith.
- Speak up, sir.
Why on earth are
you wearing that?
Because it's too heavy to carry.
Sir, I'm prepared for anything.
Ice storms, blizzards, sleep.
Gopher, we are sailing
from Vancouver, Canada
past Prince Rupert onto Alaska,
Juneau, Skagway, Glacier Bay,
Sitka and back to Los Angeles.
We are not sailing
to Santa's workshop.
Now, we should be due
outside assisting Julie.
The Bowers Bradbury wedding
party will be arriving any time.
- Why I was just...
- And please take that off.
You look like a sick sheep dog.
Maybe I just need a flea collar.
(marching band music playing)
Oh, that's okay friend.
I've been opening
doors for years.
Can't stop now just when
I'm getting the hang of it.
Uh, yes, sir, Mr. Bowers.
Now, that's another thing.
Back where I come
from, they call me Buddy.
Mr. Bowers is my daddy.
Uh, thank you, Buddy, uh, sir.
That's for getting me here
from the airport on time.
I... I... I can't take that sir.
I don't care if Mrs.
Bradbury stands on her head
and whistles Clementine.
I'll pay for her society
wedding and all that other stuff.
Whatever else it takes for
my Carol to have the best,
but you get yourself a good
bottle of whiskey with that.
Okay. Yes, sir.
Thank you, Buddy, sir.
(marching band music continues)
Hey, Buddy!
Bon voyage!
(theme music playing)
Hello, everyone.
Nice to see you.
That is Alicia Bradbury,
the groom's mother.
Name sounds familiar.
(chuckles)
She is formerly
Alicia Fairchild.
Her father left her
eight million dollars.
Only eight? What a piker.
Which one is the
father of the groom?
He's not coming to the wedding.
He's the black
sheep of the family.
Oh.
How do you know all this?
Captain's intuition.
And I also had a
report from head office.
(theme music playing)
Well, well, well.
How's my little sister?
Oh, fine, Portia.
(both chuckle)
I see you found yourself yet
another color blind hairdresser?
Yeah, well at least I found one.
Jesting, darling. Only jesting.
As usual, you're
impeccably groomed.
Oh, Dougie is getting married.
Can you stand it?
Are you ecstatically
happy, Alicia?
Actually, I'm wondering
why there aren't more flowers
in this lobby, and why
only one photographer?
Well, isn't that up
to the bride's family?
Oh, darling, the bride's
only living relative spent
two-thirds of his life riding
a mule through the tundra.
The only thing he could
arrange is a barn dance.
Don't tell me.
Let me guess.
You have volunteered
to arrange everything.
Yes.
And give me one
more little guess.
You are allowing the
bride's only living relative
to foot the bill.
What's that supposed to mean?
Of course, it's none
of my business,
but uh, I hear that you've been
borrowing from Uncle Percy.
You're right, darling.
It is none of your business.
I just hope you haven't
blown the whole bundle, Alicia.
Part of that money
belongs to Doug, you know?
(sinister music playing)
Enjoy your cruise.
P.A. VOICE: All wedding
passengers, please use gate 17.
The ship will say from
Vancouver at 1500 hours.
All aboard for Alaska.
All wedding passengers,
please use gate 17.
(dreamy music playing)
JULIE: If you ever get to LA.
Again, you could look me up.
Sure.
If you get up to Alaska...
You know, that's not
all together impossible.
We have cruises, and I could
get on one of them accidentally,
and maybe on purpose.
Sure.
Well, if you do...
look me up.
(Julie sobs)
Yeah.
(dreamy music playing)
Excuse me.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
- Do you work here?
- Yeah. I'm supposed to.
I'm Julie McCoy,
your Cruise Director.
- Oh, hi.
- How do you do?
- Cruise director, huh?
- Yeah.
Well, I'm Marv Prine, my friend,
Doug Bradbury's getting married.
Maw Nine, of course.
Yes. You're the Best Man.
Well, maybe not the
best, but close enough.
Aw.
Have you been to Alaska often?
No.
First trip.
Oh.
Well, you know, I know a
really nice restaurant in Sitka.
Aw, well, I really haven't
made my plans yet,
I might look up an old friend.
Well, listen, before you say no,
I have to warn you that I
respond very badly to rejection.
(chuckles) How do you
respond to a maybe?
Oh, there's Reverend McGuffey.
Hi.
It's good to see you.
Yes.
I always hoped I'd be around
to officiate at Doug's wedding.
I'll bet you never
thought you'd be going to
Skagway, Alaska to do it.
Oh, yes.
I suppose it would have been
more convenient if he married
the girl next door
instead the granddaughter
of an Alaskan oil man.
But not nearly as romantic.
MCGUFFEY: Oh, I agree.
However, you might get an
argument from that young lady.
MCGUFFEY: She
was the girl next door.
Reverend, darling!
Oh, hi.
Oh, have you met
Carol's bridesmaids?
It's Nancy Burken and Sandy...
How do you do? Where's Doug?
He and Carol aren't here yet.
Oh, well I guess
we'd better "mush".
Did you forget your snowshoes?
Oh no.
Hey, look. At this
time of the year,
the sun stays out
until almost midnight.
Well, that's extremely
interesting, Isaac,
but where the heck are
the bride and groom?
Well, maybe they
decided to skip the wedding
and go right to the divorce.
You're about as romantic as
a mud puddle. You know that?
I try.
(marching band music
playing) Thank you.
Well, it's now or
never. (chuckles)
Yeah. Guess we'd
better get on board, huh?
Uh-huh.
Sure you wouldn't rather elope?
You know I would.
Look, anything
to avoid this mess.
But if it's going to make
your grandfather happy
and my mother
happy, hey, I'll go for it.
How about you?
Let's run for it.
Oh, wait a minute.
No, no. Come on.
(marching band music continues)
(lounge music playing)
Doug, stay close to me. Okay?
For the rest of your life.
FEMALE: Oh, here
they are, everybody.
(cheering)
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Doug! Dougie, hi.
Hi. Come with me.
I've got a million people you've
just got to meet. Excuse us.
(theme music playing)
(marching band music playing)
(boat horn blowing)
(marching band music continues)
(boat horn blowing)
(celebratory music) (cheering)
(theme music playing)
(lounge music playing)
Hello, young fella.
- Hi, Mr. Bowers.
- Buddy.
Buddy.
This is quite a spread.
I haven't seen this much food
since the day my mother
quit Weight Watchers.
(chuckles)
For what this is costing me,
you'd think they'd make
the sandwiches a little bigger.
This wouldn't make
lunch for a fruit fly.
Hmm.
Hi, sweetheart.
- How's it going.
- Hi, Buddy.
Well, are you guys
getting warmed up
for the wedding to
end all weddings?
Working on it.
Yeah.
Listen, back in the
old days in Alaska,
if somebody wanted
to get married,
they'd just jump over a broom
and then go back and
chop wood and haul water.
Grandpa, you make it sound
like it was all work and no play.
Even the old days
people had time for love.
Oh, I suppose they did.
I'm just getting too
old to remember.
No, you're not.
Yes, I am too.
(chuckling)
But I'm glad of it.
I'll leave the billing and
cooing to you youngen's.
That reminds me.
I met this fantastic girl who
works right here on the ship.
I think I'll try and
interest her in a bill.
Maybe even a coo or two.
Hi, darling.
Hi, Aunt Portia.
So, how you making out?
Okay, I guess.
Lot of crumbs in the
upper crust, aren't there?
Hello, my darling.
- Hello.
- Hello, Natalie.
Oh, sweetheart, Mrs. B's
been looking all over for you.
Some relative or other wants
to give you the once over.
I think he's an
Ambassador or something.
Ambassador?
Don't be nervous, dear.
Just picture him
in his underwear.
GOPHER: Ah...
I think I see the
future Mrs. Burl Smith.
Which one?
Don't bother me
with the details, Doc.
I'm in love with both of them.
I'm glad you're not fickle.
I wonder if bigamy's
legal in Alaska.
- Hi.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Hello.
Please accept these assorted
numb, numbs as tokens of
my admiration and
possible future affection.
Mr. Smith.
Pardon me. Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
We have a lot of guests
to take care of here.
This is no time for a picnic.
Yes, sir.
Won't you try the
little brown ones, sir.
They're either pheasant
pate or peanut butter.
On the other hand, you
may not be hungry right now.
Some party, huh?
Yeah.
Sort of makes you want to
run right out and get married,
doesn't it?
Yeah, it does.
How about it?
Oh, I'm sort of saving
myself for Mr. Right.
It was a pleasure meeting
you, Mr. Ambassador, sir.
Good day, ladies.
- Bye, bye.
Carol, you're not
supposed to shake his hand.
He was going to kiss yours.
Oh, I'm sorry.
It's all right. I guess you
have to be born to all this
to understand all the protocol.
Right, Alicia.
Nobody can ever
learn it all. (chuckles)
(somber music playing)
What the hell is he doing here?
What's who doing here?
Carol, darling, that is
Peter Bradbury, Alicia's ex.
Dougie's father.
(somber music playing)
Doug, is that your
father over there?
Yeah.
What are you doing here?
I'm very well, thank you,
Alicia, and how are you?
(Alicia laughing)
Well, aren't you going
to say something to him?
If he wants me, he can find me.
You weren't invited, Peter.
Why are you here?
I'm trying to be a father,
and I wanted to see my son.
What makes he wants to see you?
He's done well enough
with you up until now.
Yes, I imagine
you've seen to that.
I also intend to see that
nothing interferes
with this wedding.
Especially not a drunk
who suddenly decided
he wants to be a father.
Well, I've been on the
wagon for a long time,
and you know that.
Yes.
Yes, Peter, I know that.
Unfortunately, it
doesn't matter now.
You see, it's...
It's just too late.
Always the ringmaster, Alicia.
Well, I may have
the same old face,
but I'm not the same old clown.
(theme music playing)
Anything I can do for you?
No.
No. I was just fascinated.
I've never seen a man
hang himself before.
I don't know why
people wear these outfits.
I look like I should
be handing out menus.
You mean you're not?
Oh, darn, darn it!
Never could tie
one of these things.
Well, don't look at me.
I wasn't looking at you.
Good.
Hey.
Who are you?
Portia Fairchild.
Oh.
Well, who are you?
Buddy Bowers.
Oh.
(theme music playing)
You are supposed to be
protecting my interests!
STANLEY: I can't
control the market, Alicia.
The price is dropping.
I don't know when
it's going to go up!
Well, how much has it gone up?
STANLEY: Down, Alicia!
It's going down!
You've got to sell!
STANLEY: I can't sell.
I'm using that stock
as collateral for a loan!
STANLEY: You're what?
Collateral.
It's a private thing
from my uncle.
STANLEY: Then my hands are tied.
Let's just hope the
market stabilizes.
Yes, lets.
(theme music playing)
(applause) (lounge music)
Did you know they have
these worms in Alaska
that live in ice?
I hope they like scotch.
Did you know that Alaska
was originally settled by
three different groups?
The Aleuts, the Indians
and the Eskimos.
No kidding?
The name Alaska comes
from the native word "Alyeska",
meaning great land.
And did you know that
there's a native term in Alaska
that means quiet?
Hmm.
Zip your lip.
Fine, fine.
Just don't come running to me
when you want to know where
the word "tundra" comes from.
All right. Where does the
word "tundra" come from?
Beats me. I'm just a bartender.
(lounge music playing)
Hi.
- Hi, you two.
- Hi.
Well, I see you got it tied.
Yeah.
I like Carol.
Yeah, me too.
When her folks died,
she was just a little one.
I brought her up.
You did a good job.
Gave it my best shot.
We were poor a long time.
She never complained.
I struck it lucky.
Well, there isn't anything she
might want I wouldn't give her.
Well, I'm glad she gets Doug.
He's good people.
I'll drink to that.
Oh.
To Doug and Carol.
Anybody else we can
drink to? I'm thirsty.
Well, how about,
um, to young love?
Hmm.
And thank heavens we don't
have to go through it again.
(lounge music continues)
Let's see... Sandy, Nancy.
Nancy, Sandy.
Sandy.
Good.
Now I'm out two girls
and my life savings.
Hello, Doug.
You're a hard man
to find. How are you?
I'm fine, Dad.
Uh, long time, no see.
Yes.
This must be Carol.
That's right. Uh,
Carol, this is my father.
It's nice to meet you.
How are you?
You're a very lucky man.
Well, I won't spoil your fun.
Very nice meeting you.
You too.
Good night.
(disco music playing)
Gosh, he seems really nice.
Carol, we've been
over this before.
I just have absolutely
no respect for the man.
Well, maybe if you
talk to... Dougie, listen,
they're playing our song.
Why don't we show 'em how
we won the dance contest, huh?
Oh, I don't know.
Oh, you wouldn't
mind, would you, dear?
Not at all.
Come on.
(disco music playing)
Whew!
NATALIE: Whew!
Whew!
(theme music playing)
- Julie?
- Hmm?
Feel like dancing?
I don't think so.
I guess I'm just not
in the mood tonight.
Oh.
Okay.
What are you in the mood for?
(dreamy music playing)
You sure you wouldn't
rather be dancing?
Uh-uh.
Would you?
No. I... I'd rather...
What?
I'd rather be kissing you.
(theme music playing)
Julie?
Oh, Marv.
Yeah, Marv.
Marv, can I take a raincheck?
Yeah, sure.
Thanks. I'll see you later.
Okay.
Excuse me.
The kid's crazy about me.
(knock on door) (exhales)
Hmm.
- Captain?
- Yes?
- May I?
- Well, of course.
Thank you.
Captain, I'm Peter
Bradbury, the groom's father.
Well, how do you do?
Fine, thank you.
Actually, I came
to turn myself in.
I am by way of being
what you call a stowaway.
I don't understand.
Well, I didn't know where
my son's wedding was
until I read it on
the Society Page.
I was quite prepared
to pay for my passage.
But when I inquired
about this cruise,
I found out it had been
sold out months ago, solid.
So I got this silly idea
that I'd show up anyway
and perhaps find
a place to sleep.
You see, it's important
that I see my son.
Have you?
Yes.
I'll get off at the
ships next port of call.
What? And miss the wedding?
Captain, I don't belong here.
(somber music playing)
One of the nice things about
being Captain is there's nobody
around to yell at
me if I bend the rules.
Tonight, you can
stay in my cabin.
And tomorrow I'll see if I can
find you private accommodations.
That's very kind of
you, but it's quite...
Or I could give you a blanket,
and you could
sleep in a life boat.
I can't wait to see your cabin.
(theme music playing)
(theme music playing)
Don't tell me.
You're contemplating forgetting
the marriage and running off to
become some exotic
dancer in a Skagway saloon.
(Carol laughs)
Can we talk a minute?
Sure. What's up?
Natalie.
She's really getting to me.
Yeah. I kind of thought so.
Well, I've known for a long time
how she feels about you and all,
but I don't know.
She's just never
been this blatant.
Carol, look.
Natalie has been kicked
around from pillar to post
by her folks.
They used to park her
with us every summer.
Yeah, I know, but I just...
I grew up with her.
I've traveled halfway
around the world with her.
And I like her.
Most of all... most of
all, I feel sorry for her.
She's in love with you.
Carol, she does not know
the meaning of the word.
We do.
Um-hmm.
Better be careful.
People are going to talk.
(theme music playing)
Hey, what about your Dad?
That, my lovely lady,
is a closed subject.
Now, what do you say
we go get some breakfast?
- I really think you should...
- Hey, come on.
We'll have champagne and caviar.
Yuck. Fish eggs for breakfast?
Sure. Come on.
I think I'll have
mine scrambled.
Okay.
(theme music playing)
You know, after a while I
realized there was a hell of
a lot more to life than just
the bottom of a whiskey glass.
So, I went back to teaching.
Things got pretty rosy...
except for a few odds and ends.
When we first started
out, Alicia and I...
We were just two kids
madly in love with each other.
Her father at that
time had all the money.
That was his problem.
But I loved talking to her.
I loved being with her.
I loved looking at her.
Even now, with all
we've been through,
I still can't say I
met anyone like her.
My poor Alicia...
buried under the mountain
of all those millions.
I thought you told me you
were here to see your son.
Oh, I did.
But you know, weddings
tend to make you sentimental.
Oh, by the way,
would you mind pointing
me to the doctor's office?
I have a prescription
which must be refilled.
I'll take care of it for you.
Thank you.
Oh, I've arranged
for a cabin for you.
One of our passengers
had to fly home on business.
I want to thank you, Merrill.
Thank you very much.
You know, I... I feel
I've made a friend.
So do I.
Did you know we sailed
past Prince Rupert last night?
Yes.
And?
And what?
Well, don't you have any
facts about Prince Rupert?
No, but I can look something up.
No, no, no.
Hey, Gopher, have you ever
wondered about Prince Rupert?
I haven't even wondered
about Princess Grace.
Hi, Mr. Bowers.
Oh, say listen, ah, what's this
trousseau tea you're setting up?
Oh, uh, well this is,
uh, it's an old tradition.
The gifts are laid out for
guests to ooh and ahh over.
That's why Mrs. Bradbury
wanted the gifts lugged aboard.
You mean, you didn't
have anything like this
when you got married, huh?
Ah, me?
It's pretty tough to make an
impression with two snow shoes
and a washboard.
Well, look on the bright side.
It could have been two
washboards and one snow shoe.
Yeah.
Nice day.
Thank you.
You know, you never
gave me your answer.
About what?
Dinner in Sitka.
All I got was a maybe.
Oh, I don't think so Marv.
It's another guy, right?
Uh-huh.
Every time I like a
girl, there's another guy.
I like you.
Like a brother.
I've memorized the speech.
I've got so many sisters, I
could start my own sorority.
This other guy,
does he live in Sitka?
Yes.
Is it serious?
It was. He asked
me to marry him.
That's pretty serious.
Yeah, but he has two daughters,
and I didn't think I was ready
to become a wife and
mother all at once, so I said no.
But now you're thinking about
changing your no to a yes?
I'm thinking about it.
You know what this
means, don't you?
What?
We'll have to have
dinner in Juneau.
- Do you need some help?
- No, no.
Uh.
Great.
Think that one's a refrigerator.
How could you possibly
put a cast iron hibachi,
next to a sterling
silver tea set?
You told me to arrange the
gifts, so I arranged the gifts.
Ah, I should have
remembered you have the taste
of a longshoreman.
What's that hibachi I gave
the kids doing over there?
I was just moving it.
Uh, I thought it would look
lovely over here by the tea set
(laughing)
Oh, come on.
You didn't really give
this to them, did you?
No. I just kind of liked
the way it looked over here.
What do you know?
A moldy old prospector
from the boonies.
Ah.
- Mrs. Bradbury.
- Yes?
There's a ship to shore
phone call coming in for you.
I think it's your broker.
We'll take about 15 minutes
to make a connection,
so they'll ring you in
your cabin. All right?
Fine. Thank you.
You're welcome.
- Caro|, dear.
- Uh-huh.
I have a phone call coming in.
- I'm afraid I have to leave.
- Oh, well I'll take care...
Natalie, you've been to
a million of these things.
Hold down the fort
for me, will you?
- Of course I will.
- Thank you.
Isn't this pretty?
It's one of my favorite gifts.
Oh, yes.
NATALIE: I have
one just like it.
Oh, really?
Yes. It was a gift from Doug.
Well, you made your choice yet?
Hmm?
The future Mrs. Smith.
- Did you like the gift?
- Yeah.
Which is the lucky girl?
Doc, I've hardly had a chance
to get near either one of them.
This wedding is interfering with
a potentially beautiful romance.
Well, you better make
up your mind soon.
Well, let's see.
P.A. VOICE: Mr. Smith
to the purser's lobby.
Mr. Smith to the
purser's lobby, please.
Maybe I was meant to be a monk.
PETER: Thank you.
PETER: Doug.
It's all right. It's ginger-ale.
You can taste it if you'd like.
No.
I believe you. I'm sorry.
Why, Dad?
Why'd you have to
change from being my father
into some kind of...
A lush?
Well, I got mixed up
in a triangle I suppose.
Alicia, me, Alicia's money.
It's awfully hard on a man
when his wife pays all the bills.
Great. Blame everything on Mom.
I'm not blaming
anything on anyone.
I take full
responsibility for my life.
I'm only sorry that I hurt you.
It was never that I didn't care.
Just I couldn't cope.
Are you sure?
STANLEY: Yes, I'm sure.
Even if I sold the house?
STANLEY: I'm
sorry, Alicia. That's it.
You're at rock bottom.
Well then, I guess
there's nothing else to do.
Declare bankruptcy, but
not for another three days.
Three days.
You've got to hold
them off that long.
STANLEY: Okay. I'll try.
(somber music playing)
(theme music playing)
(disco music playing)
Oh, howdy.
Howdy.
Howdy yourself.
Hey... hey, doesn't it
ever get dark around here?
- Dark around here?
- Yeah.
Ma'am, I got to
tell you something.
This is God's country.
Even the sun
can't stand to leave.
Hey, wait. Where's
your dinner jacket?
Aren't you going
to go to the party?
I just couldn't face
wrestling that tie again.
Oh yeah?
You ever try
getting into a girdle?
- No, I never have.
- No...
- I'll make a deal with you.
- What?
Next time you
help me with my tie,
I'll help you with your girdle.
No deal.
Say, I'm going to
go a little exploring.
Would you like to, uh...?
Sure, why not?
We're too old to get
into any trouble anyway,
wouldn't you say?
Portia, I like the
way you think.
(theme music playing)
Has Cinderella left the ball?
Oh, Peter.
Please, I'm in no mood to
match wits with you tonight.
All right.
I talked to Doug today.
He's a wonderful boy, Alicia.
And all the credit
should go to you.
You raised him single-handedly.
And you should be very proud.
Thank you, Peter.
Thank you very much.
Adam.
- Captain.
- How are you?
Just fine. How are you?
Okay. Oh, look, can
you, uh, fill that for me?
Bradbury? Relative of the groom?
The father.
Oh.
Adam?
This prescription
is for Dilaudid.
It's an extremely
strong pain killer.
Usually used for
terminal patients.
Oh.
(theme music playing)
LOUD SPEAKER: Good
morning and welcome to Juneau,
the capital of Alaska
and home of the world
famous Mendenhall Glacier.
We hope you enjoy your day.
Lady, you must be in love.
You don't even have enough
sense to come in out of the rain.
(laughs)
I am in love.
Hmm.
Well, what do you think? One
more day until the big event.
Yeah, if I make it.
What?
I don't know, some people
aren't cut out for all these parties
and events and things
even though your friend,
Natalie, seems to thrive on it.
Wait a minute.
My diagnosis is that
you are suffering from
an overdose of high living.
- Oh yeah?
- Yeah.
What you need is
some clean, fresh air.
Okay.
So we're on your home
turf, so show me Alaska.
- All right!
- Yeah.
(theme music playing)
Man, you won't
believe the spot I found
for our picnic in Juneau.
- Where?
- Juneau.
No. I don't know.
That's why I'm asking.
Funny.
Worked for Abbott and Costello.
Sandy, hey.
Listen, I was
wondering if tonight, uh...
- Mr. Smith.
- What?
Sir.
(dramatic music playing)
Oh.
Hi, Alicia.
Looking for me?
Peter.
Oh, no. Actually, I wasn't.
Well, I'm sorry I sort of
spoiled your trip for you.
What's done is done.
I'm sure we shall all survive.
Yes.
It is rather beautiful
though, isn't it?
Even though it is raining.
Yes, it is.
It reminds me of that
cabin we rented once
up in the North woods.
It was a long time ago.
(chuckles) Yeah.
We did have some
fun, though, didn't we?
Yes, we did.
Oh, I have to go.
What's the rush?
Well, there's the
wedding rehearsal,
and Doug's bachelor dinner,
and the bridesmaids party.
Oh, wait a while.
You mean not show up?
Sure. Why not?
Peter, you don't understand.
This is important. I
spent months planning.
Yes. You're the
world's greatest planner.
Parties, lives, finances.
The trick is to stop
planning and start living.
Oh, you're hopeless.
Oh no, on the contrary.
I'm full of hope.
I'll take you back
to your wedding.
Oh.
DOC: Alaska king crab.
Hmm. A meal fit for a king.
Or a doctor.
GOPHER: Julie, what did
you put in this mustard sauce?
Uh, mustard and sauce.
Hey, Isaac, here take this,
let me see this for a minute.
♪ Okay.
You know what this place needs?
Nothing.
Right on.
Sitka?
This is Juneau.
Yeah, well, uh, I was
just interested in this
one particular town, that's all.
For any specific reason?
The weather?
The scenery? The people?
The guy from Sitka that
you almost married last year?
Hmm.
I haven't thought of anything
else since we left Vancouver.
The wedding is really
getting to you, huh?
Well, maybe the wedding
got me started thinking,
but what's wrong with that?
Julie, there are a
lot of good reasons
for wanting to get married,
but I don't think keeping
up with the Bradburys
is one of them. Do you?
Jack Chenault is the most
wonderful man I ever met.
And he asked me to marry him.
How many chances
like that does a girl get?
But I thought you decided...
I know what I decided.
But it's a woman prerogative
to change her mind, isn't it?
Oh, sure.
Matter of fact, my
uncle used to say that
a woman's mind is
kind of like motor oil.
If it isn't changed
often enough,
it gets all gummy and sludgy.
My uncle was great with
cars, but lousy with women.
It's kind of soggy today,
but how do you like it so far?
Oh, God, it's beautiful.
It's almost worth it
letting you drag me all
the way up here to see it.
I dragged you?
I asked you if you
wanted to come along.
I'd have come here
with you or without you.
Oh yeah, well, I didn't have
anything better to do anyway.
Well, you never saw anything
like that in Paris or Rome,
now did you?
Oh, I never saw anything
like that any place.
I can see why you
love it so much.
You know, I can
remember one time
I came here with my
wife, Lillian... Yeah?
And we were standing,
I guess, you know,
around where we're standing now.
And all of a sudden,
the most beautiful rainbow
came off that glacier,
and it was so beautiful.
We just stood here and cried.
(romantic music playing)
What, uh, what
happened to your wife?
She passed away.
What about you?
How come you never got hitched?
I guess I just never stayed
in one place long enough
to get hooked.
So, you, uh, you never
took the plunge again, huh?
Well, it's never come up.
Yeah.
Oh, you get older,
and you figure...
Well, once is
enough for any man.
Of course, I had
Carol to take care of.
Oh, sure, yeah.
I got plenty to keep
me busy, plenty.
Oh, really?
(romantic music playing)
Look at them.
Portia...
I don't know quite
how to say this, but...
but I'm beginning...
I'm beginning... To
catch pneumonia.
Yeah.
Let's get back to the ship.
(romantic music playing)
(theme music playing)
CAPTAIN: Gopher, I want
you to check with Mrs. Bradbury,
see if there's anything
the ship can do to help out
with last minute
details in Skagway.
GOPHER: Roger. Right.
CAPTAIN: Touch bases
with the wine steward.
I think they need
more champagne.
GOPHER: Aye-aye.
Now, Mr. Bowers home
is a fair distance from town.
Make sure you have adequate
transportation from the dock.
Right.
- And another thing, Gopher...
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Where you going?
To the bridesmaids dinner.
Oh, gee, I'm going
to the bachelor dinner.
Too bad.
I think you'd be fun
to hang around with
if you ever had the time.
Their best, do you...
Gopher!
I'm lots of fun.
I'm... I'm more fun
than you can imagine.
Gopher!
You just wait until I'm the
Captain and he's the Purser.
I'll make his life hell.
Sorry.
(marching music)
Well, are you ready for
your bachelor's dinner?
One last night with the boys?
I can hardly believe it.
Tomorrow my Dougie
will be a married man.
What is it, Mom?
What's what, darling?
Aw, come on. Look, I know
you. What's on your mind?
Oh, I don't know.
Sometimes I think I
cheated you out of a father.
Maybe if I hadn't
pushed him so hard,
he wouldn't have become a...
Well, maybe, I mean,
we might have...
- Oh...
- Why do you do that to yourself?
Why... why put
yourself down like that?
Doug, I haven't
always been so...
Let me... let me tell
you what you've been.
I mean, you have been the
guts and backbone of this family.
You handle every crisis,
and you made it all an
incredibly smooth ride for me.
And so I guess this might be
just about as good a time as any
to say, thank you.
So thanks, Mom.
Oh, darling.
- Thank you, sweetheart.
- Sure.
(theme music playing)
So, where is little Carol?
Or are we having the
bridesmaid party without the bride?
Don't worry. She'll be here.
I guess it takes a long
time to pull yourself together
when all you're used to
wearing are jeans, right?
- FEMALE: Hi Carol.
- Hi.
Sorry I'm late.
Oh, never mind.
I'm sure no one noticed
your breach of etiquette.
Natalie, why don't you
just blow it out your ear?
It's obvious that there's
no way you'll ever fit into
the Bradbury family.
And that, folks, is what
is known as a poor loser.
Yeah, I think so.
Don't worry about her.
I won't.
I just hope this
doesn't take too long.
I'm meeting Doug out on
deck after the bachelor party.
Oh! A little last minute
hanky-panky in the moonlight?
If there is any moonlight.
If? Who cares?
Sunlight, moonlight.
Hanky-panky works
great in any weather.
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪
♪ Which nobody can deny ♪
(cheering)
Gentlemen, gentlemen,
a toast to Doug.
- To Doug.
- To Doug.
From this day forward, smooth
sailing, but no more cruising.
(cheering)
(lounge music playing)
So anyway, then he
took me all over Juneau,
and I tell you, Alicia,
the scenery is
absolutely breathtaking.
And the people are
wonderful, and Buddy is, is, is...
Yeah, well he's okay.
Don't tell me Portia the
impervious is falling in love.
Oh, don't be silly.
Ah, I spent some time with
Peter today at the glacier.
My goodness, Alicia.
Not you, too?
And now, from a man
with a lot of experience,
you want a happy marriage,
you do everything
your wife tells you.
But on the second day...
I wonder what the
guys are doing now?
Oh, probably ogling some blonde
who just jumped out of a cake.
Terrific.
(cheering)
Surprise!
(cheering)
Good old, Nat.
Anything for a laugh.
Somehow I don't think
she's doing it for a laugh.
(cheering)
(theme music playing)
Hi.
Hello, Carol.
I think your son stood me up.
We were supposed to meet here.
Well, it's his last
night as a free man.
I just hope he
makes it to the altar.
He's a fool if he doesn't.
You're going to
make a beautiful bride.
Thank you, Mr. Bradbury.
You know, it's a shame.
In other circumstances,
it could have been "Dad".
I know Doug wants you there.
Would you come to the wedding?
No. This is Alicia's show.
I don't want to get in the way.
I'm sorry.
It's all right.
ALICIA: Oh, Peter.
I've been looking
everywhere for you.
I... I'd like you to
come to the wedding.
Thank you.
(playful music playing)
Hi, Doug. I knew you'd
come back eventually. Doug?
That's okay. I'll wait.
Doug?
(whistles)
Well, so much for
bridesmaids and bachelors.
Yeah.
Yeah. Wedding's tomorrow.
Yeah.
Portia, if I were
20 years younger...
I'd be too old for you.
Yeah.
(stammering) Oh no. I'm sorry.
What... what were
you going to say?
Nothing.
- Good night.
- Oh, oh. Good night.
Look, Bud... Buddy, uh...
Would... would you like to, uh...
- I mean, we could...
- What?
Oh, nothing.
Forget it. Good night.
- Good night.
- Good night.
- See ya.
- Sure.
Oh, just as well.
Oh, nuts!
(dramatic music playing)
CAPTAIN: Good morning
and welcome to Skagway.
The Yukon train tour will
depart from the fiesta deck,
and for all wedding guests,
limousines will be
waiting at dockside.
(soft music playing)
(phone ringing)
(phone continues ringing)
Yes? Hello?
Hello?
Okay, Doug.
This is it. Let's go.
Come on!
What are you doing? You
want to miss your own marriage.
Let's go!
(soft music playing)
Hello.
Oh, hello.
You look like you're
going to a wedding.
Well, so do you.
I am.
I'm glad.
Oh, um, sorry it took so long.
- We had to have them flown in.
- Thank you.
I had a talk with Dr. Bricker.
Are you all right?
Oh yes, yes. I
hadn't quite run out.
Obviously, I never
mentioned it to anyone.
No use having to worry about
every little thing, you know?
What you have
is no little thing.
If it's one thing I've
learned in my life,
it's the fact that everything
is as big as you make it.
(dramatic music playing)
MARV: This is insane.
I think you just set a new
speed record for putting on
a morning coat under the
influence of a hangover.
- Are my shoes on the right feet?
- Shoes are fine.
- What?
- I got to talk to Carol.
- I forgot to see her last night.
- All right.
Doug. There you are. I've
been looking everywhere for you.
Mom, I need to go
talk to Carol real quick.
Darling, you'll see
Carol at the altar.
- No, but you don't understand.
- No, darling, no.
She has enough to do
without you barging in.
Besides, it's bad
luck. Now, come along.
Come on, honey bunch.
Time to tie the knot
and get me out of this tie.
Carol!
(sad music playing)
I've heard of informal
wedding gowns.
Oh, grandpa.
Baby.
Go on inside.
(soft music playing)
Mr. Bowers home is beautiful.
I can't imagine a more
perfect place to get married.
Well, you'll have
to wait your turn.
Doug and Carol have dibs.
(soft music playing)
Where's Carol?
- She ain't going to be here.
- Buddy...
You two got a
heap of talking to do,
now get back to the ship, son.
What?
(crowd gasps)
Folks...
I'm sorry.
There ain't going
to be a wedding.
(crowd sighs)
Carol changed her mind.
(crowd murmuring)
What a shame.
I'm aching for those two kids.
But if they're really in
love with each other,
they'll be back together again.
If they're not really in
love with each other,
then it's for the best.
Still, it does seem a shame
to let all this go to waste.
Yeah.
Would have been
a hell of a wedding.
Yeah, I mean... I mean,
you... you paid for the wedding.
It just seems to me
like there should be one.
Yeah.
Well, I always try to get
the most for my money.
Makes sense.
Do you want to?
Why not?
Oh, why not?
Yahoo!
Hey, folks, hold it! Hold it!
There's going to be
a wedding after all!
(cheering)
What's... what's your
first and last name...?
Who the hell cares.
It's going to be Bowers
in a minute anyway.
Come on.
(horse whinny)
MCGUFFEY: Marriage
is the commitment of love,
and affirmation of the
most precious of emotions.
To share these feelings is a
joyous thing as you have vowed
to cherish one another.
(dreamy music playing)
I love you.
- Jack...
- I'm not some romantic kid.
I... I know when I'm in
love and when I'm not.
I'm in love.
Jack.
You know, you're not
being very cooperative.
When one dope
says, "I love you",
the other dope is supposed
to say, "I love you too".
I love you too.
You do?
Uh-huh.
Really?
- No kidding?
- No kidding.
(dreamy music playing)
MCGUFFEY: By the
authority vested in me,
I now pronounce
you man and wife.
Ah!
(cheering)
What God has joined
together, let no man put asunder.
Now, you may kiss the bride.
(dramatic music playing)
I'm sure that this is
one of those stories that,
years from now, is going to
seem really funny to our kids.
But right now, it sure
doesn't feel that way.
Are we going to tell our kids
how Natalie answered
your phone this morning?
What?
She was just waking up.
Oh, look, Carol.
Natalie jumped out of some cake
at my bachelor party last night.
She must have gone back
to my cabin or something.
Well, that explains everything.
Look, I passed out
30 seconds after I got
back there last night.
And if anything happened
between Natalie and me,
well... well she must have...
she must have...
taken advantage of me.
I would have fought valiantly
for my honor, of course.
But you know that.
Poor Doug.
Seduced and abandoned, huh?
Yeah.
Carol, I love you.
I want you, not Natalie.
Just you.
You think we could
go back to my room
and talk about this some more?
Yeah.
Ah.
You know, I don't know
if you're dressed for it.
And just what did you
have in mind, young fellow?
Oh, I don't know.
Just don't plan on
being out of your cabin
for the next 12 hours.
(cheering)
Oh, I'm glad someone
will live happily ever after.
Oh, I don't think
they're the only ones.
I'm sure that Doug and
Carol will work things out.
How can you be so sure?
Ah, call me an optimist or
maybe I'm just a romantic.
I think people who love
each other should be together
and not let anything
stand in the way.
After all, what's more
important than love?
Thank you, Captain.
You're welcome.
For what?
I think you just
optimistically romanticized us
out of a cruise director.
(theme music playing)
(playful music playing)
Now listen, Mrs. Bowers.
Yes, Mr. Bowers.
There's nothing in the marriage
vows about me carrying you over
a threshold or up
and down halls.
Okay. Okay. I'll
make a deal with you.
What?
On our 50th wedding anniversary,
when we have our second
marriage ceremony...
- Our 50th?
- Right.
I'll carry you down the
hall. How about that?
You got a deal.
- Buddy.
- Oh, Alicia.
Oh, Buddy, you got to
talk some sense into Carol.
Carol's got plenty of
sense. It runs in the family.
DOUG: Can Carol
and I get back to you?
We're kind of having a
rehearsal for the honeymoon.
I mean, the wedding.
Ah.
(theme music playing)
You want to go to Buddy
and Portia's reception?
You go.
What's wrong?
Doug and Carol are
fine. They're together.
They're together, but
they're not married.
So what?
Oh, Peter, oh, God.
I'm bankrupt.
What?
All that money? How?
Through stupidity and greed.
I had to have more, always more.
Well, I'm sorry.
I'm truly sorry.
It won't make any
difference to Doug and Carol.
They love each other.
Do you think Buddy Bowers
wants his granddaughter
married into a
family of paupers?
Buddy Bowers couldn't care less.
Well, I care.
And he's not going to know.
Not until this wedding
is accomplished.
Not until my son
has the security
of the Bower's
fortune behind him.
I see.
Well, you encouraged
the right match,
but as usual for all
the wrong reasons.
Well.
(theme music playing)
LOUD SPEAKER: Good morning
and welcome to Glacier Bay,
home of 14 of the most
active glaciers in the world.
The icebergs you see floating
are pieces of the various
glaciers that have
recently broken off.
Our first stop,
beautiful Muir Glacier.
Doug.
Where'd you
disappear to last night?
Have you seen Carol?
What's going on with you two?
Look, I've seen her and...
All right. You know
you're an absolute fool
if you don't make up with her.
You do know that, don't you?
Yeah. I know that.
I know what happened last night.
Natalie snuck into your
cabin and all this and that.
I think if you just
explain it to Carol now,
she's got to understand.
Marv, would you listen
to me for a minute?
Do you want me to
talk to her? I'll talk to her.
I'm not going to let
the two of you break up
over some silly
misunderstanding.
Excuse me.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Maybe you'd better
handle it yourself.
Does this mean the
wedding's back on again?
Yeah.
I'd say the wedding's
back on again.
Last night was the most
beautiful night of my life.
Mine too.
Hey, you guys. Come over
here and give us a big hug.
- Oh. Congratulations.
- Buddy, congratulations.
You can do it. You can do it!
Where's my little
baby? There she is.
What do you think of
your old Aunt Portia?
I think she's terrific.
Love it. What about marriage?
Is this something you
recommend or what?
- Oh.
- Well, it's all right.
Try it. You'll like it.
Yeah, maybe we should try it.
I bet I could probably
round up the room.
- What do you think?
- That sounds good to me.
Okay. Would you guys
excuse us, please?
We're about to become
Mr. and Mrs. Bradbury.
Oh.
We'll let you know when.
Oh.
They finally came
to their senses.
Like us.
Yeah.
(soft music playing)
Oh, Sandy. Sandy, wait
a minute. Hey, Sandy.
Sandy, hey, guess what?
I have some time off.
I thought maybe we'd spend
it together. How about that?
- Not now, Gopher.
- Why not?
I've got to go get dressed.
There's going to
be another wedding.
Another wedding?
- Gopher.
- Oh, there you are, sir.
I've been looking
all over for you.
Good. There's something
I want you to do.
Of course, there is.
(theme music playing)
Better dust off
your party dress.
- Hi.
- Hi.
I just saw Carol. The
wedding's back on again.
Oh. I'm really glad.
Yeah. Me, too.
But I'll be glad when
this thing is over.
Weddings really take it
out of a guy, you know?
Oh. I'm looking
forward to one more.
You decided to say
yes to that guy in Sitka?
Hey, that's great. Really.
You're the first
person I've told.
Oh.
I'm sure you'll be very happy,
considering of course that
you are settling for second best.
Oh, Marv.
Whoever gets you is
going to be very lucky.
Why do girls
always say that to me
right before they
marry somebody else?
You already make a better
husband than I ever was.
Yeah, Mom said that,
uh, a lot of it was her fault.
She said that she pushed
you into doing things
you didn't want to do.
That's true.
But she was under
pressure from a lot of people.
When you're among the
richest women in the country,
you have to maintain
a certain image.
(soft music playing)
Well, well, well.
Look who's here.
Mother, can I ask you something?
Ah, yes, darling. What?
Why didn't you just
give all the money away?
You told him!
Oh, Doug. I am so sorry.
Uh, it won't exactly
be bankruptcy.
More of a liquidation of assets.
So please, don't worry.
I... I'll manage somehow, and
you will be married to Carol.
- All right?
- Wait a minute.
Let me get this
straight. We're broke?
Well...
And I'll be married to
Carol living off her money?
My God.
We'll end up just
like you and Dad.
Ah.
(theme music playing)
Hey, Doug.
Doug, I found the
Reverend, and I talked to him,
and he's ready to marry
us just as soon as we are.
And I saw Buddy and
Portia in the hallway.
I told them. I'm so excited.
We can't get married.
Wham?
It just wouldn't work out.
(dramatic music playing)
(theme music playing)
Peter, I don't know what to do.
Just don't do anything.
Just let people be.
Ah, you're right of course.
You've always been right.
I tried so hard
to control people.
I really made a
mess out of your life,
Doug's life, my life.
My life isn't a mess.
Doug's fine.
Got a good head
on his shoulders.
As for your life,
just try it one day
at a time as I do.
You'll have to teach
me this method of yours.
Just imagine you've
got six months to live.
I'd spend every minute with you.
There you are, it's all solved.
Don't be silly.
That takes care of six months,
but I expect to
live a very long...
Peter... no.
Oh, God.
Is there anything I can...?
Just one day at a time, Alicia.
One day at a time.
(sad music playing)
(theme music playing)
Captain Stubbing.
Ms. McCoy, what are you
doing up at two in the morning?
Well, I couldn't sleep,
and there's something
I want to tell you.
So it's true.
You are planning to
leave us to get married?
Hey, try to keep a
secret around here.
How does Jack feel about it?
I haven't told him yet.
You haven't even called?
Well, I did when
we were in Skagway,
but when he answered, I
got all confused and excited,
and there were so many
things I wanted to tell him.
I couldn't tell him
on the telephone.
So I pretended I
had a wrong number.
I know it's silly,
but he's going to be so
excited when I surprise him.
I can't imagine what it'll be
like around here without you.
Neither can I.
Captain, I'll be sailing with
you for the rest of the cruise,
but I just wanted to tell
you I'm going to miss you.
JULIE: Hmm.
Well, I think I'd better be
getting back to my work.
Yes, sir. Good night.
Thank you, Captain.
CAPTAIN: Good night.
(Russian music playing)
LOUD SPEAKER: Good
morning and welcome to Sitka,
the earliest Russian
settlement in Alaska.
At dockside, the authentic
Russian folk dancers.
We hope you enjoy your day.
DOC: Julie, are you sure
you're going to be able to find
Jack's house, because this
looks like a pretty confusing town?
JULIE: Oh, I can ask directions.
GOPHER: Listen, maybe
you'd rather come along with us
and see the totem pole?
JULIE: Uh... GOPHER:
I guess not, huh?
JULIE: No.
ISAAC: Julie, there's
something I have to tell you.
JULIE: Yeah?
ISAAC: Uh, the Russian
orphanage here in Sitka
is the oldest existing
building in Alaska.
JULIE: Oh, you guys.
I'll be back on
the ship later on.
It's not like I'm never
going to see you again.
- GOPHER: We know.
- ISAAC: We know.
- Bye bye.
- Bye bye.
- GOPHER: Have a good time.
- DOC: So long, Julie. Have fun.
- ISAAC: Good luck.
- JULIE: Bye.
(Russian music
continues playing)
Well, look who's here.
Hi ya, Nat.
Not going in to Sitka?
No. I was sort of hoping for a
handsome young man to take me.
Well, I'll tell you what.
If I see him, I'll tell him
you're looking for him.
You know I mean you, silly.
Doug. Doug, is it obvious
to everybody but you
that you and Carol are
just not meant to be?
There is somebody on
this ship who's good for you.
You don't have to look too far.
Natalie, you don't want me.
You could never
live without all this.
Why should I have to.
Because we are busted.
All of Alicia's money...
down the drain.
No more cruise ships...
jet airplanes.
From now on, it is the bus.
You still want to go along?
I didn't think so.
(sad music playing)
(dreamy music playing)
Oh.
Jack!
- Julie.
- Hi!
(giggling) Hi.
What are you doing here?
Didn't you see the ship?
I see ships all the time,
but you've never
gotten off one before.
I wanted to call you, but I
kept getting all tongue tied
every time I picked
up the phone.
Oh, Jack. I missed you so much.
Hmm.
I missed you too.
Oh, it feels so good
to touch you again.
Oh.
- Julie.
- Huh?
I sort of... sort of figured
you had forgotten about us.
You stopped writing.
Oh, I... I know.
I got confused, but
I'm not anymore.
Oh, Jack.
I could never forget you.
Letting you and the girls out of
my life was the biggest mistake
I ever made.
Julie, we didn't know
you were coming.
For the longest time, I kept
hoping you'd change your mind
about marrying me.
I kept thinking one day
I'd get a letter saying
you were on your way.
But your... your letters
never said that and then...
And then they stopped coming.
I finally stopped hoping and
then all that seemed to be left
was a kind of dull ache.
Oh, Jack. I'm so sorry.
And... and... and there
was a great emptiness
that had to be filled in
my life and the girls lives.
So when I met somebody
who could fill that emptiness,
I got married two
months ago, Julie.
(dramatic music playing)
Oh...
- Julie, I'm...
- No, no. That's all right.
I'm all right. I... I'm really
happy for you, really.
The girls should be back
soon. Do you want to...
No, no.
I'd better be getting back.
Oh.
Give them my love, will you?
Julie.
I'm sorry.
I love you.
(sad music playing)
(theme music playing)
- I don't know, man.
- No, no. Don't say a word.
- What?
- Alaska.
- All right.
- Come on, Gopher.
GOPHER: Hello, sir.
Oh, how was Sitka?
Well, sir. You know
Mr. Alaska here,
the man who knows
everything there is to know
about our 49th state.
The supreme authority
on all things Alaskan.
I got lost.
I wish you'd lose
that dumb book.
Attention, here
comes the bride to be.
Hey, I've seen tears
of happiness before,
but this is ridiculous.
Julie?
I'll be okay, don't worry Um,
he married somebody else.
I'm just going to
have a real good cry
and then everything
will be back to normal.
About how long
does a good cry take?
I think a couple of
weeks ought to do it.
(sad music playing)
Carol, darling.
Uh.
Seems we both have
lousy taste in men, huh?
And what's that
supposed to mean?
Oh, you're probably
the last to know.
Alicia is bankrupt.
I guess that makes Doug
infinitely less interesting,
wouldn't you say?
Ever the peasant.
(soft music playing)
Doug?
Um, I... I know about the money.
I guess you think you're being
gallant or noble or something.
No.
No, just practical.
I can be practical too.
You know I hate
all that money stuff.
Best years of my life were
spent in a cabin in the middle of
nowhere keeping house with Buddy
and growing my own vegetables.
Carol.
That isn't valid.
You don't have to
do that anymore.
Sure I do.
Even a crazy man like
you needs fresh vegetables.
(theme music playing)
(soft music playing)
Hi.
Hi.
I heard, you know. I'm sorry.
It was all my own fault.
I set myself up for the biggest
fall ever attempted on dry land.
It really never occurred
to me that he would...
I just assumed
that he'd be there
when I decided I was ready.
Damn, I wasn't
going to cry anymore.
Oh.
Yeah.
You know, most girls
spend their whole lives
looking for that
one special guy.
What do you do
when you found him,
but he picked somebody else?
It's all right, Julie.
It's okay.
(romantic music playing)
Julie, I really like you.
I mean, I really like you.
And...
See, I feel like we're pretty
good friends, you know?
And I don't want to jeopardize
that for a night of rebounding.
I can't believe this.
Under any other circumstances,
I think they'd have to hose me
down with liquid helium
to keep my hands off you.
Maybe right now you need
a friend more than a lover.
You know?
Are friends allowed to hug?
Oh, it's mandatory.
(soft music playing)
Marv?
Hmm?
Thanks.
Anytime.
(theme music playing)
(both) I take you
to live with and love,
to believe in through
adversity and trial.
To help you realize
your full potential,
to create a lasting union
based on mutual respect.
I take you to
make my life whole.
By the authority vested in me, I
now pronounce you man and wife.
You may kiss the bride.
(cheering)
(music playing)
(theme music playing)
This is really one
cruise I hate to see end.
Not an end, Captain.
It's a beginning.
Every day is a
beginning, Merrill,
whether you have
one or a thousand.
- I hope you'll have a thousand.
- Thank you.
One at a time, Captain.
One at a time.
(theme music playing)
- Hello.
- Well, hello.
Hi.
Okay, Gopher, this
is your last chance.
Now look, you ask one
of them out to dinner
and I'll ask the other one.
Yeah, but Doc I... I still don't
know which one to choose.
Um.. uh...
You'd better make
up your mind quick.
Okay. I'll take,
uh... I'll take Nancy.
No wait, Sandy. No, I...
Wait a minute, Nancy...
I'll take... I'll take, uh...
- Gopher!
- All right. Okay.
I'm... I'm going to take Sandy.
I'll take Sandy.
Okay. I'll take Nancy.
Okay.
Excuse me. How are you?
You are so cute. May I?
Oh.
I tell you, we have some waves
out there you wouldn't believe.
Hi.
Sandy, I'm off duty, and I have
the rest of the weekend free.
So I thought that you and I...
Oh, I wish I could stay
and talk to you, Gopher,
but my husband is
coming to pick me up.
Oh, there he is.
Hey, Gopher.
What are you doing this evening?
Killing myself.
Wow, maybe you'd rather
catch up on some reading instead.
There's really some interesting
stuff in this book, man.
Take care of yourself.
I will. It's going to
take me some time.
Yeah. I know.
Just remember, if... uh,
anyone gives you a hard time,
just call on big brother here.
Yeah. If you ever
need a sister...
You'll have to take your
place at the back of the line
like everybody else.
Oh, Marv.
Bye, Julie.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
- Julie.
- Yes, sir.
This telegram came for you.
Thank you, sir.
You're welcome.
(soft music playing)
JACK: Cannot convey my
feelings in ten words or less.
I hope somehow
you will understand.
I married a wonderful woman.
We're happy and the girls
love her as much as I do.
But if it makes any
difference at this point,
none of us ever stopped
loving Julie McCoy.
Okay, everybody! Hurry up!
Here they come! Come on!
(cheering)
(theme music playing)
(theme music playing)