The Loud House (2016–…): Season 3, Episode 19 - Sitting Bull/The Spies Who Love Me - full transcript

- ♪ Crashing through the crowded halls ♪
♪ Dodging girls like Ping-Pong balls ♪
♪ Just to reach the bathroom on time ♪
♪ Leaping over laundry piles
♪ Diapers you can smell for miles ♪
♪ Guy's got to do what he can to survive ♪
- ♪ In the Loud house
♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Duck, dodge, push, and shove ♪
♪ Is how we show our love
- ♪ In the Loud house, in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ One boy and ten girls
♪ Wouldn't trade it for the world ♪
- ♪ Loud Loud Loud
♪ Loud house
- Poo-poo.
[pop punk music]
♪
- Hey, are either of you guys free
for a babysitting job tonight? Mrs. McCauley just called
and I can't do it. I'm sitting for the Dunscombes.
- Sorry, dude, I got the Katzes tonight.
I'm gonna teach Jamie and Sydney how to do a drum circle.
- I'm sitting for the Santinis.
I've got some great comedy props
in case little Mary gets an ouchie.
[hammer squeaks] Whoa.
- [giggles] Thanks, Luan.
That makes me feel much better about my ouchie.
[toe rings]
- Hey, Leni, can you sit for the McCauleys tonight?
- Sorry, I can't. I'm sitting for the Lewises.
I'm giving Tia and Salome makeovers.
They're one and two. It's time.
- Hmm, okay.
I--I guess I'll have to tell the McCauleys no one's free.
- What about Lynn? She's 13.
That's when we all started taking babysitting jobs.
- I don't know, dude.
She's not exactly the nurturing type.
- And we don't wanna blow our reputation
as Royal Woods' best babysitters.
- Well, that is true. But you guys,
it's only fair that we give Lynn a chance.
[rock music] - Ah-whoo! [cheering]
[barks] Ah.
both: Ah! [tires squeal]
[crash]
- Ow, watch it, you clod.
- You know how long it's gonna take me to bump out this hood?
- Sorry, guys. Apology punches.
- Ow. - Ow.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yow! - [giggling]
♪
[giggles]
- Still wanna give her a chance?
- Hey, Lincoln, how would you like
your first real babysitting job?
- Babysitting? Like, for money?
I'm in. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
You can't give a babysitting job to Stinkoln.
I'm next in line. [grunts]
Ah, huh. - But Lynn, let's face it,
you're not exactly the nurturing type.
- What now? I can nurture all day long.
Kids love me. Right, Lis?
- [sighs] If it'll get you to stop bruising my cranium,
I'll gladly respond in the affirmative.
[yelps] - See? That's a yes.
- [gurgling] - [yelps]
- Come on, you guys. Fair is fair.
I want some of that sweet babysitting moola too.
Bye, Mr. and Mrs. McCauley.
Don't worry, they're in good hands.
So, what do you guys wanna do? - Play with my science kit.
- Play with my dress-up sticker books.
- [imitates buzzer] Sounds lame-o.
Come on, I'll show you guys how to have some real fun.
All right, when I blow the whistle,
you guys run to the center of the ring
and wrestle. [whistle blows]
Guys, lucha libre is a contact sport.
This time, Caleb, you bounce off the ropes
and come back at Camille with an Angry Possum.
Like so. - [grunts]
Ah! I'm stuck.
- I guess you guys aren't ready for wrestling yet.
- [sighs]
- 'Cause first you have to get into shape.
Your parents have a serious lack of exercise equipment,
so we'll have to improvise.
Camille, let's do some curls with these kosher dills.
[jars rattling]
- Ow. I heard something pop.
- That's totally normal. Walk it off.
- [whimpering]
- 'Kay, Caleb, your turn.
Let's see you dead lift this turkey.
- [groans]
- Important lesson for you guys.
After a good workout, you always wanna replenish
those proteins.
- Ooh, eggs. May I please have scrambled?
- I like mine hardboiled. - [imitates buzzer]
Cooking takes too long.
Your body needs that protein now.
[eggs plop, slosh]
[dramatic music]
- [whimpering]
- Don't show weakness. It'll just make things worse.
both: [sipping, gagging]
[groaning]
[burp]
- Can we please go to bed now?
- Ugh, okay, fine.
So I'm almost to the top of the climbing wall
when I beef my foothold, lose my grip,
and plummet 20 feet to the ground.
Bam! Broke my tibia so bad you could see the bone
sticking out through the skin.
- [groans, retches]
- Well, that's a waste of two perfectly good eggs.
What up, fellow babysitters? - Hey, how did it go?
- Oh, great, I hit it out of the park.
- Wow. - Good for you.
- Thanks for letting me in the group, you guys.
It means a lot.
- Well, dudes, guess we misjudged old Lynn-sanity.
[phone rings]
- Hello? Oh, hi, Mrs. McCauley.
What? She did? She did?
Angry possum? But--but--okay.
Goodnight.
- What happened?
- Lynn terrorized the McCauley kids.
So now we're all fired as their babysitters.
- No way. - Bogus!
- I think we need to have a little talk with her.
- I don't get it.
I thought we had an awesome night.
- Lynn, you made a five-year-old hand upside down
and do crunches.
- Yeah, and his abs will thank me.
- We're sorry, but you can't be
in the babysitting group anymore.
- What? Come on. It's not my fault
those kids didn't know how to have fun.
Give me a decent family and I'll show you I can crush it.
- Sorry, but we just can't afford to lose
any more clients.
- I'm still available. - Get out of here, Stinkoln.
- Ooh. [thump, cow moos]
- This is literally what we're talking about.
- Ugh.
Lynn Loud does not accept defeat.
I'll show those guys I got what it takes.
[foreboding music]
[phone rings] I've got it.
Loud residence, Lynn Jr. speaking.
- [indistinct squeaky speech]
- Oh, hi, Mr. Dunscombe. Sure.
Let me ask Lori if she's free on Friday.
[mischievous music]
[mumbling]
Sorry, Lori's not available. But I'd be happy to babysit.
♪
- Who was that? - A ding-dang telemarketer.
I told him to buzz off. [phone rings]
- I can get it. - Up, bup, bup.
Sit down., Stinkoln.
Loud residence. Oh, hi, Mrs. Lewis.
- [indistinct squeaky speech]
- Oh, no, Leni's not free on Saturday.
But I am.
- So you guys didn't have any babysitting jobs
this weekend either? - Nope.
Didn't get a single call.
- Me neither. - Deadsville.
- Weird. Maybe we should check in with our clients.
- Hi, Mrs. Lewis. - Hi, Mr. Santini?
- Hey, Mr. Katz. - Hi, Mrs. Dunscombe.
all: [eyes squeak] Lynn did what?
- Ugh, I can't believe this.
Not only did she steal our jobs,
she lost us four more clients.
- We have to tell her this stops now.
- We can tell her, but will she listen?
You know how she is.
- What if we can get her to want to quit babysitting?
- How would we do that? - Easy.
Get her to sit for the worst kids in Royal Woods.
all: The Fox quintuplets.
- Ugh, they were literally a nightmare.
all: [laughing maniacally]
- So mean. - Little monsters.
- Bad to the bone.
- So it's a plan? all: It's a plan.
- Hey, Lynn, can we talk to you?
- Okay. I know what you guys are gonna say,
but before you get mad, let me explain--
- Oh, we're not mad. - We get it, dude.
You were just trying to prove you can handle babysitting.
- And guess what. You proved it.
- Really? So your clients liked me?
- [gasps] Literally, loved.
- Yes! I knew it. I told you guys.
So, you're taking me off the bench?
- Yep. In fact, we already have a new client lined up for you.
- Sweet. Who is it?
Later, Mr. and Mrs. Fox. [tires squeal]
So, gang, what should we do tonight?
[dramatic choral music]
♪
- [chirping frantically]
♪
- Ah!
all: [laughing maniacally]
- Poor Lynn. I bet by now those little monsters
have trapped her in the crawlspace like they did to me.
[laughter]
- Or rolled her up in a rug
and pushed her down the stairs like they did to me.
- Or thrown a skunk in the bathroom
while she was doing her business.
all: [eyes spring open]
- Well, Lynn had it coming. - Literally.
- She gave us no choice.
- Guys, I'm trying to be a team player here,
but I'm starting to feel bad.
- No, dude, I get it. I am too.
- Me too. Lynn's only 13.
And who knows what kind of horrible mess
she's in right now.
- And all she wanted was to be a part
of our babysitting group.
- We have to go help her. - Agreed.
But first, we'll need some protective gear.
[suspenseful music]
♪
- Hey, guys, what's up? all: [overlapping yells]
[eyes spring open]
- Wait a second,
I thought you were babysitting the Fox quintuplets.
Who are those guys? - Those are the Fox quints.
Duh. - Wait.
How did you get them to behave?
- It was a cinch. First I showed them
that if they wanna get crazy, I can get ten times crazier.
Next, I wore them out with athletic competition.
And lastly, three words.
Horsey reward system. [horse neighs]
- Wow, impressive.
Well, anyway, I guess we should get going.
- Wait a minute. What's going on?
Why'd you even come here in the first place?
- Nothing, dude, we were just in the neighborhood.
- We were. I thought we came here because we felt bad
about trying to get Lynn to quit babysitting.
- [laughs] That's funny, Leni,
but jokes are my territory. Come on, let's go.
- You wanted me to quit babysitting?
Why? You said your clients loved me.
- Well, they didn't.
You actually terrified their kids.
But now I think I know why.
They just weren't the right kind of kids for you.
These guys are.
None of us could handle them, but clearly you're doing great.
- We're sorry for trying to mess with you.
- Well, that's cool. I guess it wasn't so great
that I tried to steal your clients from you.
So, I'm sorry about that. Apology punches!
- Dude. all: Ow!
- Coach Lynn, we're ready for bed.
- Well, duty calls. I'm glad we're good.
I'll see you guys at home.
Who wants to hear about the time I broke my tibia?
all: I do, I do.
[rock music]
- Off your butts, ladies. You've all got
babysitting jobs tonight. - What're you talking about?
- I got your old clients back.
It took a lot of begging and pleading,
and the apology punches didn't help,
but I was able to convince them.
- Mighty dece' of you, sis.
- Well, see you later. I'm sitting for the quints.
Now that Mr. and Mrs. Fox have found someone
who can handle their kids, they're going out, like,
every night.
[hard rock music]
[blows whistle] all: [cheering]
- [grunts] - Best babysitter ever.
- [laughs]
[spy music]
♪
[cars honking]
[computer beeps]
- Hey, Lincoln. - Hey, Ronnie Anne.
Guess where I am.
- Well, the sign's right behind you,
so I'm gonna say Flip's.
- Oh, right. They're unveiling
the new Flippee flavor today.
Gotta make sure I don't miss out.
- Awesome, I have a big day too.
I'm going downtown to check out street murals.
- City life sounds pretty cool.
Clyde, over here. Sorry, I gotta go.
- Okay, good luck with the Flippees.
- Good luck with the murals.
both: Downtown? - [gasps]
- You were listening at my door?
- It's a good thing we were.
- We're in charge of you while your mom's away this weekend.
A--and you can't go downtown by yourself.
- It's no big deal.
I'm used to going everywhere by myself.
- Sure, in Royal Woods. But this is the city.
There's all kinds of danger you don't know about.
- Especially downtown. Even I won't go there
without lighting five candles first.
- I'll be fine. I have my Metro card.
I've got my route planned out. If there's any problem,
I'll call you. - But, mija...
- Bobby's the one you should be worried about.
You know how he's always getting stuck
in the dairy case.
- But at least we know he's safe.
And has plenty to eat.
- Don't worry. [lips smack]
I got this.
[jazz music]
both: [groaning]
[grunt, groan]
- What's the rush? Is there a sale on VapoRub?
- They only move this fast if they're following someone.
Who is it? - Ronnie Anne.
She's going downtown. [menacing music]
- [gasps] - Downtown.
At her age? - Is she crazy?
- We tried to talk her out of it, but you know how she is.
Stubborn like an ox.
- Are you sure you're the ones who should follow her?
You're kind of, um, uh... - You're old.
- [squawks] What a burn.
- Hey, why don't I go? I'll make sure she's safe.
- No, no, all my grandbabies are too precious.
- Actually, it's not a bad idea.
Carlota knows downtown better than any of us.
- And I will go with her. [slurps]
Ah. She'll need a man for protection.
- Okay, but you have to hold your sister's hand.
- No way. How will the ladies know I'm single?
- I'll tell them. - [yelps]
[cell phone snaps]
- [munching]
- All right, she seems okay so far.
- Okay? She's surrounded by pigeons.
all: [gasp] - And eating a pretzel.
She has no idea what city critters will do for food.
- Hey, don't sweat it, fam. I got this.
[trash rattles]
[tense music]
all: [sigh]
- It's a good thing I lit my special candle
or Ronnie Anne could have been bird food.
- [grunts] Hey, pigeons, come get some lunch.
Ah! [grunts]
[spooky music]
Uh-oh.
[screams]
♪
[spy music]
[cell phone snaps] - [gasps]
Why is she standing in the middle of the sidewalk?
She may as well wear a sign that says "country bumpkin."
- Wait, do you hear that? Carlota, look up.
[tense music]
all: [scream]
- She doesn't know about city air conditioners.
- They fall on people all the time.
- Vito Filiponio knows a guy who read a story about a guy
who almost got hit by one. The threat is real.
♪
- Hmm. all: [sigh]
- It didn't fall because I was rubbing my lucky wishbone.
Otherwise, she would've been flattened like a tortilla.
[spy music]
- She's not watching where she walks.
- Is your phone really more important
than your life, mija?
[dramatic sting] - [gasps]
Ay, madre mía, there's an open cellar door up ahead.
[gasps, exhales]
- Ronnie Anne doesn't know about city cellars.
- They're death traps. - Not to worry.
I'll go close it. [grunting]
Whoa, whoa, whoa, ah!
[gasps]
[tense music]
all: [sigh] - [tongue sloshes]
- [grunts] Is she still alive?
- Yes, but only because I had my worry beads.
- [grunts] Ha-ha!
[yelps]
[spits]
- Carl, quit horsing around and go follow Ronnie Anne.
- Wait, look at that bike messenger.
- She doesn't know about city cyclists.
- Ah, they're pigeons on wheels.
- He's headed right for her.
- I'll save her.
[tense music] [bell rings]
- Hey, slow down. [tires screech]
- Yikes. [grunts]
[groans] - Carl?
Carlota? Are you guys following me?
- What--uh, no, no. [stammers]
What a crazy coincidence seeing you here.
- What's going on? We can't see Ronnie Anne.
- So you've all been spying on me?
- We were worried about you.
- I told you, I can take care of myself.
You really need to chill out and trust me.
I'll be home in a couple of hours.
No one follow me.
- Of course. - We promise.
- Carlota, follow her.
- What? No, I don't want her to hate me.
- Relax, your boy Carl has once again saved the day.
Dad, you know that tracking chip you sowed into my jacket?
- Busted, Dad. - Oh, er, huh.
You knew about that?
- Water under the bridge, Pops.
I stuck it in Ronnie Anne's backpack
so you can track her on your phone.
[beeping]
- Hah! God job, son.
- Looks like I'm the brawn and the brains of this operation.
- Sweetie, did you find the booger wipes
I put in your jacket? - [groans]
- [laughs]
[phone rings]
- Hey, Lincoln, how's the new Flippee?
- I haven't gotten one yet. The machine's down.
But Flip says he's got it under control.
- Well, I hope you get your Flippee.
- How's it going with the murals?
- They're great, but my family's nuts.
They sent Carlota and Carl to spy on me.
- Been there. - Anyway, I put a stop to that.
[beeping]
[spy music]
- She's stopped at George Washington Boulevard
and 10th street.
- Got it. - Okay, let's see.
Nearest emergency room is at St. Anthony's.
There's also a fire station a block away.
[cell phone snaps]
[backpack zips]
[chip beeping]
- [squeaking, sniffs]
[chomps]
[whirs, panting]
[beeping]
- Why is she moving so fast? - Ah.
She could skate right into traffic.
- Hold on, it looks like she's on 4th street headed east.
- That street dead-ends at the river.
[gasps] And the jail.
- Ay, madre mía.
What if she has a secret prison pen pal
and she's gonna visit him?
I better look in the cards.
I need to know more about this creep.
- I... I can't take all this uncertainty.
We have to call her.
- If we call her, she'll know we're spying on her.
- That's better than her falling into the river.
[phone ringing]
- Another phone call? Seriously?
They are so paranoid.
Decline. - She's not picking up.
- Maybe her phone's dead. - Or some thugs stole it.
[cat yowls] - Whatever it is,
she's in trouble. We gotta go get her.
- Wait, we can't all go. Someone has to stay here
and watch the baby. - And Bobby.
- I'm on it. - Thanks, CJ.
Call if you need us.
all: [groan] - Oh, good, you're home.
Now come on, we're going back out.
- Okay, let's see. The dot says she's here.
- This doesn't look so bad. - Oh, wait.
Actually, she's over here.
- [caws] all: [gasp]
[door creaks]
[tense music]
- Ronnie Anne, are you here? - Oh, look.
- [squeaking]
all: [scream] - Everyone, stand behind me.
- [hisses] - Mommy.
- [gasps] If the tracker is on the rat, that means--
- The rat ate Ronnie Anne!
- Don't be ridiculous, Hector.
She was obviously turned into a rat
by some kind of dark magic.
- Or here's a crazy idea. Maybe the tracker just fell out
of her backpack, got stuck to the rat,
and Ronnie Anne is somewhere else.
- Seems like a stretch. - [squeaking]
all: [squeaking]
- [whimpers] The rat that ate Ronnie Anne has friends.
all: [scream]
[bell rings] - Hey, CJ.
I was just upstairs. Where is everyone?
- They all went out to look for you.
- Went out to look for me? - Yep, except me.
I'm watching Bobby.
[lounge music]
♪
[phone rings]
- Casagrande Mercado. - Wait, is this Ronnie Anne?
You're home? - Yeah.
And why are you guys out looking for me?
I told you I'd be fine.
- Uh, Tío Carlos will explain everything.
♪
- Uh-huh. Abandoned building?
Rats? [sighs] I'll be right there.
[rock music]
- The rats are gonna devour us.
- She needs to come quick. - Auxilio.
all: [gasps] - Don't worry.
I got this. - That's your plan?
A half-eaten pretzel?
- I don't know if you know this, but city critters
will do anything for food. - Actually, we did know that.
We didn't know you knew that.
- Didn't know? Watch this.
all: [snort, growl]
- Wah!
[elevator bell rings]
all: [whimpering]
- Thank you, Ronnie Anne. - That was amazing.
- I think we've learned an important lesson today.
- Yes. Next time, Rosa and I
will do all the spying ourselves.
- [exhales] No, Dad.
I mean, Ronnie Anne can obviously take care of herself.
- Yeah, maybe even better than we can.
- Thanks, guys, I appreciate that.
And if you worry this much about me,
maybe I can make things easier for you.
- Oh, good. So you'll wear the tracker?
- Uh, not quite.
But how about a phone check-in every couple of hours?
- Agreed. But only if you'll carry my lucky crystal too.
- Deal. [elevator bell rings]
Uh, we better get out of here
before that elevator door opens.
all: Ah!
[dramatic music]
- Well, I'm glad things worked out with your family.
- Me too. So did you ever get to try the new Flippee?
- No. Flip couldn't fix the machine,
but he's giving out free nachos,
as soon as he fixes that machine.
- [anguished scream]
- ♪ Cramped inside this tiny space ♪
♪ May sound bad but ain't the case ♪
♪ In the Loud house - ♪ Loud house
- ♪ Duck and dodge and push and shove ♪
♪ That's the way we show our love in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house
♪ Laundry piles stacked up high ♪
♪ Hand-me-downs that make me cry ♪
♪ Stand in line to take a pee ♪
♪ Never any privacy
♪ Chaos with 11 kids
♪ That's the way it always is ♪
♪ In the Loud house