The Loud House (2016–…): Season 2, Episode 10 - The Loud House - full transcript

♪ Crashing through
the crowded halls ♪

♪ Dodging girls
like Ping-Pong balls ♪

♪ Just to reach the bathroom
on time ♪

♪ Leaping over laundry piles ♪

♪ Diapers you can smell
for miles ♪

♪ Guy's got to do
what he can to survive ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪

♪ Duck, dodge, push,
and shove ♪

♪ Is how we show our love ♪

♪ In the Loud house,
in the Loud house ♪



♪ One boy and ten girls ♪

♪ Wouldn't trade it
for the world ♪

♪ Loud Loud Loud ♪

♪ Loud house
*THE LOUD HOUSE*
Season 02 Episode 18
"Fed UP / Shell Shock"

Poo-poo.

♪♪ Upbeat music...
" Fed UP "

♪♪
" Fed UP "

♪♪

Dinner's ready!
Come and get it!

- Whoo-hoo!
- Ha-ha-ha!

[all cheering and shouting]

Yeah, so, this never happens.

Dad cooks all our dinners.
And he's not a bad cook,

but his repertoire is
kind of limited.



You've got Salisbury steak
Sundays,

meatball Mondays,
turkey loaf Tuesdays,

Wienerschnitzel Wednesdays,

goulash Thursdays,
fish fry Fridays,

and succotash Saturdays.

Then it all repeats,

week after week after week.

Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have to go choke down some...

Wienerschnitzel!
Not to brag,

but this tastes exactly
like last Wednesday's.

Man, I have got this recipe
dialed in!

- What are you doing?
- Self-hypnosis.

Maybe I can make myself believe

the Wienerschnitzel tastes
like ice cream.

Ooh, I want ice cream!
Move!

Come up with your own
coping mechanism!

No, no, no, no, no!

[heroic flourish]
Whew! That was close.

I almost had to order us pizza.
Ha-ha!

You guys, I need an outfit
for dinner tomorrow.

Does this print go with goulash?

It doesn't matter,

'cause we're not having goulash
tomorrow.

Yes, we are, Lincoln.
We have it every Thursday,

and there's literally nothing
we can do about it.

She's right.
It's all in my poem:

" Dinner.
The same seven meals.

How do you cope?
The only plan

"s to give up hope.

- Dinner."
- So true.

- Tell it, sister.
- Wise words.

Fine.
I guess no one wants pizza.

[all gasp]
Did someone say "pizza"?

When the schnitzel fell
off the table,

Dad said he almost had
to order pizza,

so if we sabotage
tomorrow's dinner,

that's what we'll get.

Now, huddle up.

Lana, why don't you rinse off
first?

♪ I just came back
from the grocery store ♪

♪ Gonna get my goulash on

♪ Noodles, tomatoes,
meat galore ♪

♪ Gonna get my goulash...

Hey, Dad!
There's something I've

always wondered about.

Why do you make goulash
on Thursdays?

[laughs] Oh, son.
It's a funny story.

Thursdays are
a bit of a conundrum.

Not many foods start with "TH".

There's Thai food,
but coconut milk

really does a number
on the old Lynn-testines,

if you know what I'm saying.

And three-bean salad...

well, that's just three times
as bad, right?

Now, there is a Greek dish
called Thessalonikian sheep dip,

but your mother finds it
a little gamey.

You're right. That is
a funny story. Got to go!

But, son, I didn't tell you

about threatened-species
stir fry yet!

It's very rare. Get it?

[beeping]

Good work, team.
If my calculations are correct,

Dad should be ordering pizza
in...

T minus 15 seconds.

An orange?
Where's all my goulash stuff?

I know I bought it,
'cause I was singing about it.

Dang it! [sighs]
I guess I'll have to...

Three, two, one.

Go back to the store.

ALL: Aww!

I knew I should've
chloroformed him.

Unconscious people can't
make goulash.

Don't worry.
Dad's not going anywhere.

Gah!
Well, my horoscope did say

Libras should expect
the unexpected today.

Bad news, kids. I've got to put
the kibosh on tonight's goulash.

- ALL: Aww!
- What a shame.

- Too bad.
- I need to take a moment.

But, fortunately, your
old dad's got a backup plan.

I'll get the phone, Daddy.

I'm making tomorrow's dinner
tonight.

Frank and beans Friday
on Thursday.

In your face, horoscope!

I'll get the chloroform.

♪ Franks and beans ♪

♪ Doo-doo-doo ♪

♪ Franks
yeah, yeah ♪

♪ And beans
and beans ♪

♪ And beans
and beans, beans, beans ♪

Big Cheese to toppings.

Target is in position.
Move out.

Be careful, guys.
There's not mush-room for error.

[laughs]

Luan, this line is not
for jokes.

Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.

My baked beans!
What is happening?

I guess there's only one thing
to do.

[phone speed dials]

Make franks and lima beans!

ALL: Ugh!

♪♪ Upbeat music...

Where the heck is
our can opener?

[grunting]

Ahh, thank you, Geo.

Nothing like a little
Lynn-genuity.

Where are the dang knives?
I've got 20 hotdogs to slice!

♪♪

♪♪

Aah! Pot raccoons!

No problem.
We'll do a casserole.

[grunting]

Ugh!

I'll just heat 'er up
in the old coffee pot.

That's using the old bean.

[electricity crackling]

Dang it.

I'm proud of you guys.

It was touch-and-go
for a while,

but we all hung in there, and...

Dinner's served!

♪ Franks, franks and beans
they're lima ♪

- ♪ Franks and beans ♪
- ALL: What?

It's not exactly hot,
but I'd rather eat cold beans

than a plate of failure.

Whoa!

[raccoons chittering]

Someone get me the phone.

- Yes! Pizza!
- Pepperoni!

[all cheering]

Dinner.
Goulash again. That's a nope.

A bite of pizza.
It tastes like hope.

Dinner.

Wow. What a night.

Maybe next week we can get Dad
to order Chinese.

Why is there meat in my shoes?

Dang it.

Does anyone have anything
to say?

Leni,
why would you hide the meat

in the slippers Dad wears
every night?

Because his pockets were full.

What? Is this pasta?

Someone please explain
why I'm wearing my goulash.

We did it, Dad.

We sabotaged dinner
so you'd order us pizza.

[both gasp]
We're really sorry.

But eating the same dinners over
and over again

was driving us crazy.

You guys have no idea
how hard it is

to cook seven nutritious meals
a week

for 13 different people,
on a budget.

I'd say your dad does
a pretty great job.

Aw, that means a lot, honey.

You'll understand someday

when you have to cook
for your own family.

- Cook for your own family?
- That's it!

Let us make dinner
tomorrow night.

We have tons of ideas.

Dad will get a break.
We'll make something delicious

and show you it's not that hard
to mix up the menu.

Fine by me.

Ooh, we could probably use
this onion.

Remember, guys, this is about
more than just tonight's dinner.

These grilled cheeses really
have to change hearts and minds.

Grilled cheese?
I want to make a cake!

I can't eat cake for dinner.
I'll literally break out.

Let's make shepherd's pie.

It's Mick Swagger's favorite,
dudes.

You guys, I got it.
Let's make goulash!

We did all this so we wouldn't
have to eat goulash.

And now I miss it.

Might I suggest something
more sophisticated?

Perhaps a vichyssoise?

[makes buzzer sound]
We need body fuel.

I'll blend us up
some protein shakes.

Your brain's been blended

if you think I'm drinking
that barf.

Wait... we can drink barf?

- Grilled cheese beats all!
- Protein shake!

- Cake!
- Guys. Guys. Stop.

We'll do a potluck.

Everyone make your own dish.

Great idea. Then we'll have
nothing to fight about.

It's mine! I need it
for my scrambly eggs!

Well, I need it
for my devilled eggs.

Mind if I poach that?

[laughs] Get it?

[laughs]

- Aah!
- Ugh!

Aah!

Literally?

[smoke detector beeping]

My vichyssoise!

[grunts]

[gasps] My cake!

Aah!

[all shouting at once]

Guys?
Everything okay in there?

[shouting stops]

- Like, awesome.
- Super.

Good. Your mom and I are
getting hungry for dinner.

Hope you're almost ready
to fork it over.

You guys, we've got nothing!

Failure is not an option.

We have to serve something,

or we'll be eating
the same seven dinners forever!

[heroic music]

[sighs]
Wow. You made, uh...

- Potatoes.
- Quinoa.

- Turkey.
- Chicken.

- Meatloaf.
- Bologna.

- Frosting.
- Cereal.

- Goulash.
- Barf.

Well, bon appétit!

[gags] Mmm. It's, uh...
[belches]

[all spewing]

[all shouting at once]
I can't get it off my tongue!

Mom, Dad, we're sorry.

You guys were right. Cooking for
this many people is a nightmare.

We'll never complain
about your food again.

[overlapping agreement]

- We promise.
- We didn't mean it.

I'm not keeping that promise.

Now that we totally learned
our lesson,

- can we order pizza?
- Yeah!

- Pizza!
- Indian!

Sorry, kids. Our food budget
for this week is shot.

So we're not having any dinner?

Nonsense! Necessity is
the mother of Lynn-vention!

To the kitchen!

So, what have we got?

I found a jar of olives.

This spoon still has
a little mustard on it.

And I've got some chopped up
sports bars.

- And I've got some jams.
- Ooh! Where?

Oh, those kind of jams.

♪♪ Rock music playing...

Olives. Pepper.

Baking pan.

Other half of baking pan.

Tape.
Stat, man, stat!

♪ ♪

- What are you making, Dad?
- I'm not really sure,

but let's just call it
Casa Loud Casserole.

Ooh! I have the perfect outfit
for that.

Honey, that was delicious.

[all speaking at once]
Amazing!

- So good!
- Thank you.

I think you kids were right.

It's time I started mixing up
the menu.

ALL: Really?
- Yep!

In fact, I'm going
to the store right now

to get some new Lynn-gredients.

[all cheering]

[car crashing]

Oops. Heh.

Forgot to put the brake pads
back on.

♪♪ Upbeat music...
"Shell Shock"

♪♪
" Shell Shock "

[bell rings]

Happy Monday, class! It's the
moment you've been waiting for.

- Lunch?
- No, Rusty.

The fifth grade
Egg Baby Challenge!

[all cheering]
Aw, man.

You'll work in pairs to look
after an egg baby for a week.

Now class, if your egg cracks
or breaks, you fail.

But if you can keep your egg
safe for the whole week,

you pass and get a special
waffle breakfast! [cow mooing]

Whoops. Heh, heh.
Wrong picture.

ALL: Ooh!

[together] Clincoln McCloud,
reporting for parenting duty.

And waffles.

No, no, no.
I'll be choosing the pairs.

The whole point is to work
with someone you don't know

so you can learn
about each other

through caring for the egg.

So, Clyde,
you'll be working with...

Penelope.

- Hey, Penelope.
- Hey, Clyde.

I promise to be
the best egg dad I can.

And Lincoln,
you'll be working with...

Ronnie Anne.

Oh, no. Not Ronnie Anne.

I can't be paired
with Ronnie Anne.

She's, well, Ronnie Anne,

and she's not exactly
the careful, nurturing type.

♪♪ Rock music...

Aah!
[laughs]

- I'll set you up.
- Ugh!

- Ha!
- [grunts]

Both: Ugh!

- [teeth chattering]
- You ready to do this, partner?

[crashing]

Why don't I just take that?

Mrs. Johnson, question!

Do you recommend
hard or soft boiling?

So, what should we call her?

Any family names
you'd like to honor?

I was thinking we could
combine our names.

Clyde and Penelope make...

- Calliope!
- [gasps] Perfect.

Ro-shell? You want our
egg baby's name to be a joke?

How is "Toby" any better?

This egg doesn't look
like a Toby.

Well, if you'd let me see it,

maybe I'd know
what it does look like.

Okay, everyone. Time for gym.

Ooh, I'll watch Toby.

♪♪ Rock music...

♪ ♪

No way. I mean, I don't mind
keeping an eye on her.

[bell rings]

Lunch, finally.

- Hey, partner.
- Aah!

Maybe I should take care
of Toby during lunch

since I haven't gotten to
all day.

♪ ♪

Food fight!

Sorry, but I, uh...

promised Aunt Lisa I'd bring
her niece by for a visit.

You know how relatives are.

Ugh!

[tray slams]
[gasps] Aww!

Did the loud girl wake you?

Shh. It's okay.

Okay, Calliope.

You've got your choice
of organic beet mash,

stewed apricots,
or gluten-free rice meal.

Organic beet mash.
Good choice.

Did you know Clyde
spent a summer at chef camp?

- Here comes the airplane!
- [sighs]

So, let me get this straight,
Lincoln.

Your plan for keeping the egg
safe from Ronnie Anne is

to surround it with a pack
of half-savage five-year-olds?

Whoa! Back, you animals!
Aah! Aah!

Oh, you're gonna make
a great dad.

Smocks on, everyone.

See, Rochelle,
your mom loves you.

It's just safer if she loves you
from a distance.

At least you have a mom.

My partner took one look at me
and decided to take an F.

Her loss.

Aah!

Has anyone seen Lincoln?

I wanted to take our egg
to shop class.

♪ ♪

- Phew!
- Well, if anybody does see him,

tell him I'm taking Toby home
with me after school.

No more excuses.

[gulps]

Oh, sorry, Lincoln.

We were just looking
for a quiet place

to put Calliope down for a nap.

A little rubber cement
and some paint...

And voila!

Now you've got yourself
an unbreakable rubber twin.

[boing]

[bell rings]

Ronnie Anne, there you are.

Rochelle really needs
some quality time with her mom.

Really? But I thought...

Well, thanks.

It's not right to lie

unless it's to protect someone
you love.

Lisa's right.
I am a great dad.

[whistling]

There you go, Rochelle.

[crashing]

Lola, watch out!
The floor is lava!

[grunts]
And she sticks the landing!

[crashing]

No!

[boing]
What the...

oh, it's just the fake egg.

[gasps] Which means I gave
the real one to Ronnie Anne!

♪♪

♪♪

No!

We warned him
the floor was lava.

Come in, Clyde.
I've got a code beige.

You made a fake egg
to give to Ronnie Anne,

but accidentally gave her
the real one instead?

Wow. Way to stay up to date
on the codes.

Anyway, I need your help.

Can you be a decoy
while I rescue Rochelle?

Sorry, Lincoln,
but I'm watching Calliope

while Penelope's
at her banjo lesson.

I can't get a sitter
on such short notice.

Boy, this fatherhood thing is
tough, huh?

Tough, but rewarding.

[takes deep breath]

Lincoln?
What are you doing here?

I, uh, missed Rochelle,

so I thought I'd stop by
and say hi.

But you had her...
I mean him all day.

I know. We bonded.
That's probably why I miss him...

Ugh! I mean her so much.

[sighs]

You coming?

- Whew.
- All right, you've got

ten minutes with the egg.

I have some stuff to do, anyway.

I'm so glad you're okay.
Don't worry. Daddy's here.

Lincoln!

Bobby and my mom are
coming home soon, so wrap it up.

Aah! Aah! Emergency!

Sis, you home?

♪♪ Dramatic music...

Workplace injury!
Workplace injury!

Help! Help! Help! Help! Help!

I'm here. I'm here.
Let me take a look.

Oh, it's just a little splinter.

See? I got it.
All better.

Aw, thanks, Nie Nie.
I can always count on you.

Okay, okay, okay.
You better get ready for work.

You're gonna be late! I did
a load of your work shirts.

There was some pretzel cheese
on your mall cop one,

but I got it out.

You're like some kind of wizard.

Now, hurry, Bobby.
You're gonna be late.

Ronalda! Roberto! I'm home!

Oh, hi, Lincoln.
Nice to see you.

You, too, Mrs. Santiago.

Hey, Mom. Wash up.
Dinner's in five.

- You made dinner?
- Yeah.

I figured after two shifts,

it would be the last thing
you wanted to do.

[laughs] Oh!
How did I get so lucky with you?

Mom! You're embarrassing me.

[laughs]

Off to save some lives!

Bobby, the pool closed
in September!

You're delivering pizzas
tonight.

You know what, Rochelle?

I think I had your mom
all wrong.

Why don't you stay here tonight?

[grunts]

Toby!

Uh, why is he bouncing?

Uh, because he's
a bouncing baby boy?

Wait. What's this?

Lincoln, what's going on here?

I can explain.
See, I gave you a fake egg.

- Why would you do that?
- Because you're, well,

Ronnie Anne.
What's that supposed to mean?

Well, I thought you couldn't
be trusted with the real one

because you're not exactly
the most careful

and nurturing type, but...

So that's what you think of me?

That I'm such a monster that I
can't be left alone with an egg?

No, no, no. When I saw you
with your family,

I realized I had you all wrong,
and... oof!

Oh! Dramatic music...

[smashes]
[Lincoln gasps]

I guess none of that matters
anymore.

Thanks a lot, Lincoln.
Now we're gonna fail.

Ronnie Anne, I... I...

Just get out of my house!

Hey Lincoln,
Penelope and I wanted

to arrange a play date
for our eggs.

It's important to socialize
at an early age.

Well, I'm afraid Rochelle is...

[whistles, makes cracking sound]

[both gasp]

- Lincoln, please!
- I'm sorry, buddy.

I'm sure it wasn't easy
working with Ronnie Anne.

Actually, I think it wasn't
easy for her to work with me.

That gives me an idea!
Got to run!

I know he's your best friend,
Clyde,

but I don't want him
as Calliope's godfather.

[doorbell rings]

"Please take care of me."

Signed "Toby Rochelle II."

I know you're there, weirdo.

Oh, uh, hi.

What's with the egg?
We're done. We failed.

Well, after I left your house
yesterday,

I went to talk to Mrs. Johnson.

So it was my fault
the egg broke.

I thought I knew
who Ronnie Anne was,

but it turns out I didn't know
anything about her.

She's really responsible
and caring,

and she deserves
a second chance.

All right, Lincoln.
I'll give her another shot.

That's awesome!
Thanks, Mrs. Johnson.

- And you, too.
- Really?

I think you just figured out

what this assignment is
all about.

She didn't let me off the hook
completely.

I don't get
the waffle breakfast,

but that's okay,
because all I care about now is

putting our family
back together.

Thanks, Lincoln.
I appreciate it.

But don't get too mushy on me.

Hey, I can make you waffles.

Bobby and I were
just about to have breakfast.

Hey, little Loud.

I'm glad you brought this,

'cause I needed an extra egg.

Ronnie Anne, no!

[egg smashes]

Got you!
You're not the only one

who can pull an egg swap,
partner.

[both laugh]

[laughs]

Whew.

♪ Cramped inside
this tiny space ♪

♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪
♪ Loud house ♪

♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪

♪ That's the way we show
our love in the Loud house ♪

♪ Loud house ♪

♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪

♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪

♪ Stand in line to take a pee ♪

♪ Never any privacy ♪

♪ Chaos with 11 kids ♪

♪ That's the way
it always is ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪

Synchronized by srjanapala

Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.