The Loud House (2016–…): Season 2, Episode 9 - Kick the Bucket List/Party Down - full transcript

Lincoln and Clyde's plans to spend the spring holiday are turned upside-down when they have only one day to complete all the activities on their activities list. Lori manages to successfully throw a party, but all of her invited g...

- ♪ Crashing through
the crowded halls ♪

♪ Dodging girls
like Ping-Pong balls ♪

♪ Just to reach the bathroom
on time ♪

♪ Leaping over laundry piles

♪ Diapers you can smell
for miles ♪

♪ Guy's got to do
what he can to survive ♪

- ♪ In the Loud house

♪ In the Loud house

- ♪ Duck, dodge, push,
and shove ♪

♪ Is how we show our love

- ♪ In the Loud house,
in the Loud house ♪



- ♪ One boy and ten girls

♪ Wouldn't trade it
for the world ♪

- ♪ Loud Loud Loud

♪ Loud house

- Poo-poo.

[upbeat rock music]



- I know this looks a little
weird,

but I'm doing it for a reason.

Today's the first day of spring
break,

and to ensure we make the most
of it,

Clyde and I came up with this.

Ew.
Note to self:

don't ever borrow Lynn's
tracksuit again.



I meant we came up with this:

Clincoln McLoud's Totally
Awesome and Rad

Spring Break Bucket List,
patent pending.

It's a totally awesome and rad
list of all the rad

and awesome things Clyde and I
want to do

over the nine days of spring
break.

We've been working on this baby
since Christmas break ended,

and that's why I'm stretching.

With so many activities to get
through,

we can't afford to cramp up.

[groans]

That's enough stretching for
now.

[bird chirps and dog barks]

- Hey, buddy.
Where's your tracksuit?

- Uh, Lincoln--
- It's cool. I brought a spare.

I also took care of breakfast.

- Uh, Lincoln--
- Doughnuts!

- Lincoln--
- Yes, yes, I know, Clyde.

You need your fiber, and that's
why I packed fruit too.

[air horn blows]
Augh!

- Lincoln, my dad and I are
going to Hawaii for eight days.

They just surprised me.

- What?
- Oh, sorry about the air horn.

- No!

Wait, did you say eight days?

Spring break is nine days, which
means we'll still have one day

left when you get back to do
everything on our list.

both: Yes!

- Of course, we'll have to pare
down the list a little.

- Of course.

both: List pare-down mode
activated.

[upbeat music]

- [snoring]

♪♪

- Whew.

- [snoring]

♪♪

[horn honks]

So what did you cut?

- Heh-heh, um, nothing.

I actually added an activity.

- Well, you did better than me.
I added two.

[laughter]

This is gonna be the most
awesome and rad day ever.

- Just make sure you're home
before

the streetlights come on;
tomorrow's a school day.

- No problem, Mom.

- Hmm, that gives us eight
hours.

Think we'll be able to get all
this done?

- Clyde, we have to.

Though we'll need to do more
stretching.

both: Ow.

- One's good.

First activity: catch up on all
the episodes

of "ARGGH!" we've recorded.

- Sounds awesome and rad to me.

- 42 episodes?

Hmm, we may have to speed things
up a bit.

- Greetings, ghost hunters.

I'm Hunger Spectre, and... ahh!

[garbled fast-forwarding audio]

- Oh, excuse me.

- I'll tell you how it ends.

- [gagging]

- [gagging]
No, I won't.

[gagging]

Okay, the awesome radness
continues with item number two

ride the newest ride at Dairy
Land,

Fly Me to the Moo."

"Expected wait time from this
point: three days."

[together]
Hey! What? What are you doing?

- Ride inspectors coming
through.

Excuse us.

- It worked.

- All right, you two,
no line cutting.

And stay out!

both: Augh!

- Well, we kind of flew there
for a second.

- I'd say it counts.

- "Play with puppies."
This should be rad.

- And awesome.

- Sorry, boys, the puppies are
being bathed right now,

but you can play with Petey overthere.

- Maybe we should skip this one.

- We can't.
It's on the list.

Heh-heh.

[parrot squawking]

Pretty bird.

[parrot squawking]

- Maybe we shouldn't have
touched his egg.

- The important thing is, we can
check it off the list.

- Ahh, a leisurely carriage ride
through the park

was a great idea, Clyde.

Glad you added it to the list.

- Thanks, but I think we're
gonna have to

pick up the pace a little.

[air horn blows]

[rock music]

- On the bright side, we're
still technically riding

a carriage through the park.

This is awesome.

I've always wanted to swim in
gelatin.

- How long does it take to set?

- Let's see, 20 minutes per 4
ounces of water,

and this is a 100-gallon pool,
so you've got to carry the 1--

- Hey, it's spring break.

We shouldn't be doing math.

- You're right.

Besides, we have a list to get
through.

both: Ahh!

- The good news is, the internet
says the color isn't permanent.

The bad news is, it's 1:00,
and we're not even

halfway through the list.

- Maybe we need to split up.

Then we'll get the list done in
no time.

- Good thinking.

You take the rad.
I'll take the awesome.

- "Orange" you glad you thought
of that?

It's quite an "a-peeling" idea.

[laughs]
Get it?

[both sigh]

- Oh, wait.
"Citrus" self down.

I was just getting to the
"juicy" part.

Okay, "Vitamin C" you later.

Man, I'm on fire.

- A-five, six, seven, eight.

[loud music]

- Yo, what you up to, little
bro?

- Having a jam session.

- Righteous.
I'll grab my ax.

- Sorry, it's a me and Clyde
thing.

- You and Clyde?

Uh, okay, bro.

- Oof!

[groaning]

- Hey, Clyde.
Do you need a partner?

- No, thanks.
It's a me and Lincoln thing.

- Oh.
Hi, Lincoln.

- Here we go, buddy.

[grunting]

Ahh!

both: You ruined our sand
castle!

- Ugh! Augh! Ow!

- Lincoln, can you watch the
twins?

I have to go to the bathroom.

- Sweet, a 6-footer.

- Sorry, Lynn.
It's a me and Clyde thing.

- [belches]

[laughs]
Thanks, bro.

- Excuse me, ma'am.
Would you mind taking a photo

of me and my best friend?

- Normally I'd say no, but since
your best friend's a rock,

I kind of feel sorry for you.

How do you work this thing?
[phone chimes]

- I'm sorry, Clyde.
I didn't get that.

- Uh, can you hurry?

My friend is kind of heavy.
[phone chimes]

- Okay, I found three results
for "heavy."

- Ahh! Rock Lincoln!

- Well, here you go.

- [sighs]

- Sorry about your friend, but
that piece of driftwood

over there looks pretty lonely.

[upbeat violin music]

♪♪

- [gasps]
Driftwood Lincoln!

♪♪

Eat my dust, Pizza Box Lincoln.

Eat my crust, Clyde.

Ha-ha-ha.

Lincoln, come in.

I finished my half of the list
and a whole pizza.

- Great, I finished my half
too.

Let's rendezvous at the
predetermined location.

- Hey, here you go.

I know what it's like to need a
friend.

Nice to meet you.

- What a day, huh, Clyde?

So awesome.

- And rad.

- Except for when we threw up.

- And turned orange.

- And Lynn belched in my face.

- And I fell in the lake.

- Let's not forget Petey.

- Ugh, I think I'd rather
forget.

- Come to think of it, today
kind of--

- Wasn't rad?
- Or awesome.

- How did that happen?

- I guess we got so obsessed
with finishing the list,

we had no time to actually enjoy
ourselves.

- You're right, and now spring
break is over.

We blew it.

[dramatic music]

- [gasps]

[tires squealing]

- Learn to drive, maniac.

- Ah, this is the berries.
I've got a blown tire.

- A blown tire?

How are we gonna get home before
the streetlights come on?

- Look.

[engine revving]

[tires squealing]

- Hang on, boys.

I'm about to get on the freeway.

both: Ahh!

- We're good here.
Thanks for the lift.

[tires screeching]

[sheep bleating]

[rock music]

♪♪

[sheep bleating]

♪♪

both: Ahh!

Ugh!

♪♪

[bell dinging]

♪♪

Yay!

[grunting]

♪♪

Yes!

♪♪

We made it.

[panting]

- All that stretching really
paid off.

- Is it just me, or was getting
home totally rad?

- Yeah, the most awesome part of
today wasn't even on the list.

both: Huh.

- Guess we didn't blow our
spring break after all.

both: Clincoln McCloud.

- So what's our plan for summerbreak?

- Awesome.
- Rad.

[sheep bleating]

- Oh, my ride's here.

See you tomorrow, buddy.

[sheep bleating]

[parrot squawking]
- Ahh!

Heh-heh, pretty bird.

Ahh! Ahh! Ow! Ow!

- It's probably just another him
and Clyde thing.

[upbeat rock music]

♪♪

- We're off to the movies,
honey.

Have fun at your party tonight.

- Linsanity Sr. brought you someprops.

Nothing brightens up a party
like a lamp shade on the head.

♪ Ooh-ah, ooh-ah

Huh?
- No offense, Dad, but I'm 17.

I'm not throwing that kind of
party.

- "50 ways to throw
a sophisticated party."

- Oh, gotcha.

So it's more of a fake vomit
affair, huh?

[gagging]

[laughter]

- Come on, honey, we don't want
to miss the previews.

- I'd be kicking myself if I
didn't at least ask.

Propeller beanie?

And I'm out.

- Okay, "Item number one:
say more with great decor."

Color-coordinated coasters,
check.

Scented candles, check.

Confetti...Bobby, sweetie,
you're bunching the confetti.

You're supposed to scatter it
whimsically, like this.

[together]
Whoo! Party-party! Yay!

both: We brought our bouncers.

- I've constructed a chocolate
fountain.

It started out as a nuclear
fusion device,

but I accidentally dropped my
chocolate bar in it.

- And I've been working on my
party tricks all week.

[laughter]

Knee farts.

- Guys, sorry, we're not doing
any of that.

This is going to be a
sophisticated party.

- Boring.

- Well, I'm glad you feel that
way, because you're not invited.

It's just for the older kids.

- Yeah, sorry, guys.

It's just for us.

- Lincoln, put your pants back
on.

You're not invited either.

Just Leni and Luna.

- What? Come on.

- Ooh, and me.

Please, please, please, please,
please, please.

- Fine, but you have to be cool.

- "Cooly" noted.

[laughs]Get it?

- Don't make me regret my
decision.

- I did not spend a whole week
mastering party tricks

just to be shown the door.

Lori doesn't want Lincoln Loud
at her party,

but she didn't say anything
about...

Lincolnovich Loudinski.

I am new foreign exchangestudent.

- I don't see your name on the
list.

- Uh, that is shopping list.

- Oh, so feta cheese isn't
coming?

I was so excited to meet her.

- Party's pretty sweet, babe.

- Thanks, boo-boo bear.

Now for item eight: "Make your
party all that

with some sparkling chitchat."

- Ahh!

- So has anyone done any travel
lately?

I heard the Galapagos Islands
are beautiful this time of year.

- Uh, me and Ted went to thequarry

[amplifier feedback squealing]

[rock guitar music]

- Hey, guys, did you check out
the origami station?

Luna, what are you doing?

- Just trying to liven up the
proceedings, dude.

- Well, it's way too noisy.

Item four clearly states that
easy listening

makes for easy talking.

- What's item five, put everyone
asleep?

- You are on warning.

- Super cute.

I'm totes posting this.

- You totes are not.

This is not sophisticated.

Post this.

- Awesome.
You look so constipated.

- Sophisticated, Leni.

"Item seven: tasty bites make
tasty nights."

Anyone for mushroom polenta on
toast points?

- I've got a buddy who's a
mushroom.

He's a real "fun guy."

[laughter]

- Luan, I told you to be cool

- What? I'm just trying to yuck
it up a little.

- Ugh, there's no yucking at a
sophisticated party.

- Unless someone eats a polenta.

Ba-zing.

- You are both on warning.

- Guys, who's up for some
charades?

I'll go first.

Okay.

- You have to go number two.

[metal clanging rhythmically]

- Chas like.

[metal clanging rhythmically]

[laughter]

- Whoo-hoo!

- Guys, guys, I just put out
some fresh salmon mousse.

Ugh, Luna, what did I tell you?

- But, dude, they were picki''
up what I was layin' down.

- Well, you need to pick up and
leave before you ruin my party.

- Whatever, brah.

- It's too bad.

She had a real "clean" sound.

Guess you have to "wash" your
step around here.

Yeah, or you'll get "hung out
to dry."

[laughs]

Oh.
Okay, we "fold."

[laughs]

[laughter]

- Do another one, Lincolnovich.

- For you, babushka,
no problem.

[clears throat]

[together]
Ooh, ahh.

[laughter]

- Lincoln, I told you you're notinvited.

- I'm trying to throw a
sophisticated party,

and you're literally waving
around your underwear.

Now scram!

- They will hear about this atembassy.

I'm sorry for all my annoying
siblings.

Now that they're gone,

we can get back to our charades
and toast points.

[together]
Oh, man. Um...

- Yay.

- You got kicked out too, huh?

- Don't worry, brah.

This party's way more rockin'.

A-one, two, three, four.

[rock guitar music]

- Check out this major air.

Yee-haw!

- Charles, I see your
grandfather.

He's a Labradoodle.

- Oh, mama.

This molten Theobroma cacao--
street name chocolate--

is working wonders on my
serotonin levels.

- Goo-goo.

[laughter]

- You're right.
This party's way better.

Mind if I sit in?
[fart noises]

[laughter]

- Yeah, little bro.

I dig what you're layin' down.

[laughter]

[light classical music]

- I don't get it, you guys.

I've been following the list,

but people don't look like
they're having fun.

- I think they're having fun.

Leni, Joey is literally doing
his homework.

Hmm, I know what my mistake was.

- You listened too closely to
some silly magazine

instead of following your own
instincts?

- No, I left out item 24.

Okay, everyone, line dancing.

[together]
Ugh.

- Don't worry. It's easy.
Just watch me.

Grapevine right, grapevine left,
back three steps, and scuff.

[twangy music]

- Lori, um, can I get a drink?

- Sure, Becky,

as soon as I get a good
grapevine out of you.

[laughter]

- Brrring.

Oh, there's my phone.

Oh, what's that, Mom?

You stubbed your toe really hard

and you need me to come home
right away?

Oh, sorry, Lori, family
emergency.

Whew.

- Oh, uh, sorry, she's my ride.
Wait up, Rhonda.

[together] She's my ride too.
Me too. I'm blocking her in.

- Wait, you guys.
Where are you going?

We haven't, um, made vision
boards yet.

- I don't need a vision to know
I'm bored.

Awesome party, Lori.

- Don't feel bad, babe.

I mean, a stubbed toe,
that is pretty serious.

- Ehh, nice try, boo-boo bear,
but I know my party was a bomb.

- What do you mean?

Joey got all his homework done.

- [sighs]
Guys, if you don't mind,

I literally want to be alone for
a little bit.

- I saw everyone leaving.

Are you okay?

- [sighs]
I'm fine.

- Well, we're all hanging outupstairs

I mean, it's nothing
"sophisticated," but--

- You know what?

I think I'm done with
sophisticated.

Oh, so that's where all the
salmon mousse went.

Wonderful.

[rock music]

- Hey, guys, look who's joining
the party.

[all cheering]

- Can I offer you a
chocolate-covered

gelatinous confectionary?

Street name: marshmallow.

- Lori, come join our séance.

We just discovered that Walt's
ancestor is a pterodactyl.

- And my ancestor's a coffeetable.

- Dudeage, come sing a duet with
me.

- No, no.

You know I'm not a good singer.

- Come on.
I'm doing your fave.

♪ Ooh, girl, give you the

both: ♪ Ooh, girl, world girl,
give you the ♪

♪ Ooh, girl, world girl

- Coming through.

- I'm gonna beat you.

- I'm gonna beat both of you.

[all speaking excitedly]

- Right.

- Yeah!

- And the new bouncy ball
champion is Lori Loud!

[laughs]

- I am totally posting this.

[phones chiming]

[doorbell rings]

- Yeah, my mom's toe,
it's all better.

- Oh, yeah, and she's still myride.

- Mine too.
- Yeah, I needed to

block her back in.

[all speaking excitedly]

- I see a B-minus in your
future.

- Oh, man, why do I even bother
studying at parties?

- Great party, Lori.
Chas like.

- Well, actually, it's not my--

- Yeah, Lori throws the bestparties.

- I know what would make this
even better.

Party props.

[laughter]

[both gasp]

[record needle scratches]

- Uh, Mom and Dad, I'm sorry.

Things got a little out of hand.

Please don't be mad.

[laughter]

- We're not mad.

We're thrilled.

- Honey, this is the kind of
party a 17-year-old should have.

[laughter]

- Hey, everyone, I got another
pair of undies.

Time for an encore performance.
[clears throat]

- I taught him that.

[laughter]

- ♪ Cramped inside
this tiny space ♪

♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪

♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Loud house

- ♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪

♪ That's the way we show
our love in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ Loud house

♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪

♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪

♪ Stand in line to take a pee

♪ Never any privacy

♪ Chaos with 11 kids

♪ That's the way
it always is ♪

♪ In the Loud house