The L Word (2004–2009): Season 4, Episode 12 - Long Time Coming - full transcript

PREVIOUSLY ON THE L WORD...

MY ORDERS CAME DOWN.

MY UNIT'S BEING MOBILIZED

BACK TO IRAQ.

I'M LEAVING IN TWO WEEKS.

SWEENEY. WE'RE ALSO...

YOU'RE NOT ON THE
ACCOUNT ANYMORE.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

WE HAD TO REPLACE YOU.

MEGAN TOOK OVER.

HEY, ALICE. IT'S MAX.



WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU
COULD AFFORD TO PAY ME

IF I WORKED FOR YOU FULL-TIME?

I FEEL LIKE WE'RE
DRIFTING APART.

IS THERE SOMEBODY ELSE?

IT'S NOT ABOUT HER.

BIRTHDAY GIRL!

I'M SO FUCKED UP.

WHAT ARE YOU
GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?

I'VE GOT TO GO TO A
MEETING TOMORROW.

WOULD YOU TAKE ME

TOMORROW, PLEASE?

IS IT TRUE THAT ONE
OF THE CHARACTERS

IN THIS BOOK IS BASED ON YOU?

DID THIS UPSET JODI?



IS THAT WHY SHE'S LEAVING?

WHO SAID JODI'S LEAVING?

SHE'S BEEN CHOSEN TO
CREATE A NEW SCULPTURE

AT THE FOREST REFUGE ART CENTER

IN MOUNTAINVILLE, NEW YORK.

I'M SITTING HERE WITH
JENNY'S LITTLE FUCKING TOME.

WELL, YOU SAID IT WAS FLUFF.

I HADN'T READ THE WHOLE BOOK.

NOW I'LL HAVE TO FIRE JENNY.

SHE DESERVES TO BE FIRED.

DO YOU KNOW WHERE SHE IS?

SHE'S ON AN AIRPLANE.

SHE'S ON HER WAY TO NEW YORK.

♪ HOW LONG? ♪

♪ HOW MUCH MORE LONG? ♪

♪ HOW LONG? ♪

♪ MMM... ♪

♪ HOW LONG? ♪

♪ HOW MUCH MORE LONG? ♪

♪ HOW LONG? ♪

♪ WELL, WELL... ♪

♪ I WANNA KNOW HOW
MUCH MORE LONGER ♪

♪ AM I JUST GONNA
HAVE TO WAIT ON YOU? ♪

♪ HEY, HEY ♪

♪ I'VE BEEN STANDIN'
AT THE STATION, BABY ♪

♪ WAITIN' FOR MY
CHANGE TO COME ♪

♪ OH, YEAH ♪

♪ I'VE BEEN STANDIN'
AT THE STATION ♪

♪ AND I'M WAITIN' ♪

♪ WAITIN' FOR MY
CHANGE TO COME... ♪

♪ GIRLS IN TIGHT DRESSES
WHO DRAG WITH MUSTACHES ♪

♪ CHICKS DRIVING FAST
INGENUES WITH LONG LASHES ♪

♪ WOMEN WHO LONG, LOVE,
LUST WOMEN WHO GIVE ♪

♪ THIS IS THE WAY IT'S
THE WAY THAT WE LIVE ♪

♪ TALKING, LAUGHING
LOVING, BREATHING ♪

♪ FIGHTING, FUCKING
CRYING, DRINKING ♪

♪ WRITING, WINNING
LOSING, CHEATING ♪

♪ KISSING, THINKING, DREAMING ♪

♪ THIS IS THE WAY... ♪

♪ IT'S THE WAY THAT WE LIVE ♪

♪ IT'S THE WAY THAT WE LIVE ♪

♪ AND LOVE ♪

HI, THE MEDIUM TRIPLE
SOY CAPPUCCINO

WITH THREE PUMPS
OF VANILLA IS MINE.

THE MONEY'S RIGHT HERE.

JENNY.

I'M SO GLAD I FOUND YOU.

I JUST, UM... NO.

THERE'S SOMETHING HERE
THAT I WANT YOU TO READ.

I CAN'T TALK RIGHT NOW.

MM-MM. YOU WHAT?

THIS IS IMPORTANT.

JUST TAKE A LOOK AT THIS, OKAY?

NO, I CAN'T.

I'M GOING TO PICK
UP MY NEW PUPPY.

BUT I'LL SEE YOU AT THE
MEETING THIS AFTERNOON.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

THE MEETING,

IT'S, UH... IT'S BEEN CANCELED.

WHY?

LORENZO, THE SENIOR
V.P., HE WENT ON LOCATION.

WHAT?

I JUST FOUND OUT THIS MORNING.

WHAT A FUCKING ASSHOLE.

I KNOW. IT'S HOLLYWOOD.

I HATE THIS FUCKING
HOLLYWOOD BULLSHIT.

GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR PUPPY.

IT'S A POMERANIAN.

OH, HOW CUTE.

I KNOW, IT'S GOING TO
BE SO MINI AND CUTE.

I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

HAVE A REALLY NICE DAY, TINA.

OKAY, YOU TOO.

BYE!

MOM! THEY HAVE THE NEW
THE TOY MACHINE STICKERS!

THAT'S GREAT, HONEY.

WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?

NOTHING.

SETTING UP.

YEAH, WE WEREN'T DOING ANYTHING.

WELL, CAN I GET SOME
STICKERS FOR MY BOARD?

YEAH, YEAH, IF YOU HAVE
ENOUGH MONEY SAVED UP.

I CAN'T STAND THIS ANYMORE.

WHAT CAN'T YOU STAND?

HIM.

BUSTING IN ON US.

IT'S LIKE HE PURPOSEFULLY

GOES OUT OF HIS WAY

TO MAKE SURE THAT WE DON'T
GET A MOMENT ALONE TOGETHER.

PAIGE, HE'S A KID.

HE CAN'T HELP IT.

WELL, IT BOTHERS ME.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU.

LOOK...

I LOVE...

I LOVE BEING WITH YOU

IN CARS

AND AT YOUR WORK,

BUT I WOULD REALLY LIKE

TO FUCK YOU IN A BED.

AND I WOULD LIKE TO
GO TO SLEEP WITH YOU,

AND THEN I'D LIKE TO
WAKE UP WITH YOU.

WELL, THEN, UH,
WE'LL TALK TO HIM.

OKAY?

OKAY.

WE'LL, UH...

WE'LL TALK TO HIM.

GET OUT OF THE CAR.

ALICE, GET OUT OF
THE CAR, PLEASE!

ALICE!

WILL YOU STOP, ALICE?

ALICE!

ALICE. ALICE.

LISTEN TO ME. LISTEN TO ME.

PLEASE. ALL RIGHT?

I'M SORRY.

I KNOW HOW I HANDLED
IT WAS FUCKED UP.

YEAH.

YEAH. TOLD YOU SOONER.

I REALLY WANT YOU TO COME
TO MY GOING-AWAY PARTY.

WHO THE FUCK IS EVA TORRES?

IT'S PAPI.

ALICE!

WHAT?

OH, MY GOD.

ALICE...

CAN YOU STOP FOLLOWING ME?

ALICE.

SO WHAT HAPPENS NOW?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

YOUR ORDERS CAME DOWN,

YOUR UNIT'S BEEN WHATEVER
THE FUCK, DEPLOYED...

I HAVE A BAG DRAG TOMORROW.

EXCELLENT.

THAT'S WHERE THE UNIT
GATHERS AT THE BASE

AND WE SORT THROUGH
ALL OF OUR EQUIPMENT

TO MAKE SURE WE HAVE EVERYTHING
WE NEED FOR DEPLOYMENT,

AND THEN I HAVE TO

GET MY MOBILITY FOLDER IN ORDER.

OH, YEAH.

YOU CAN'T HAVE A
DISORDERLY MOBILITY FOLDER.

MEANING I NEED TO SEE A DOCTOR

AND GET A CLEAN BILL OF HEALTH.

WHY DON'T YOU GO SEE MY DOCTOR?

SHE'LL SAY WHATEVER
YOU NEED HER TO SAY.

SHE'LL SAY YOU
HAVE... I DON'T KNOW...

CRABS OR SCURVY

OR WHATEVER. ALICE, STOP.

THEY'LL REJECT YOU,
YOU WON'T HAVE TO GO.

I'M NOT TRYING TO GET OUT OF IT.

WHAT?

I LEAVE ON MONDAY

FOR TWO WEEKS

OF PRE-DEPLOYMENT TRAINING.

IT'S FORT IRWIN IN THE MOJAVE.

FUCKING ARMPIT OF THE UNIVERSE,

WAY WORSE THAN IRAQ.

AND IF I SURVIVE THAT...

THEN WE SHIP OUT.

ALICE, WAIT.

CAN YOU JUST GO?

ALICE, CAN'T YOU MAYBE
JUST TRY TO UNDERSTAND

THAT THIS ISN'T
SOME WHIM FOR ME?

I MADE A COMMITMENT!

I GET IT, TASHA.

I UNDERSTAND, OKAY?

JUST GO, JUST GO HONOR
YOUR FUCKING COMMITMENT.

FUCK.

LOOK, NOT THAT I MIND HELPING,

YOU KNOW,

BUT, I MEAN, LIKE, WOW, RIGHT?

IF CATHERINE CAN
AFFORD ALL THIS,

THEN SHE PROBABLY CAN AFFORD

SOMEONE TO MOVE HER
STUFF FOR HER, YOU KNOW?

YEAH, I SUPPOSE SHE COULD,

BUT I'M HERE, AND
I'M ABLE-BODIED,

AND IT'S NOT AS IF I
WORK FOR A LIVING.

DID SHE SAY THAT SHIT TO YOU?

LOOK, PAPI...

CATHERINE AND I
HAVE AN ARRANGEMENT.

ALL RIGHT? IT SUITS ME.

AND I'M GETTING REALLY
TIRED OF EVERYBODY

SECOND-GUESSING ME ABOUT IT.

WHATEVER. IT'S YOUR LIFE.

LOOK. SHE LEFT YOU A MESSAGE.

"HELENA, DEAR.

"SEPARATE MY UNDERWEAR...
BIKINIS, THONGS, BRIEFS...

AND FOLD THEM BEFORE
YOU PUT IT AWAY."

PAPI, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT I WOULD HAVE DONE

IF I HADN'T MET
CATHERINE, ALL RIGHT?

I'M NOT CUT OUT
TO LIVE MODESTLY.

AND SHE'S TEACHING ME A TRADE.

OH, YEAH, POKER.

THAT'S A GREAT TRADE.

AND IN THE MEANTIME,

SHE'S GIVING ME BOARD
AND LODGINGS AND LUXURIES

AND TRAVEL AND ALL THE THINGS

I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT.

AND THE SEX ISN'T BAD EITHER.

NOW YOU'RE TALKING, GIRL.

AND SHE'S BEING GENEROUS, RIGHT?

SHE'S LETTING US
HAVE THE PARTY HERE.

YEAH, SHE'S GENEROUS.

AS LONG AS YOU KNOW

WHAT YOU'RE GETTING
YOURSELF INTO.

DID YOU EMAIL HER?

YES, OF COURSE I'VE EMAILED HER.

I MEAN, I EMAILED
HER LIKE 10 TIMES,

AND I TOLD HER.

I TOLD HER, YOU KNOW,
THAT I'M REALLY SORRY

THAT I DIDN'T SHOW
UP FOR HER OPENING.

WHAT? YOU DIDN'T
GO TO THE OPENING?

NO WONDER SHE'S
NOT TALKING TO YOU.

NO, I MEAN, COME ON.

I TOLD YOU WHAT HAPPENED
AFTER THE DINNER PARTY.

REALLY, I MEAN... AND THEN...

THEN, AFTER SHE
GETS THE COMMISSION

AND SHE DOESN'T
TELL ME ABOUT IT?

COME ON, I HAVE A
DEPARTMENT TO RUN.

BETTE.

WHAT?

COULD YOU BE ANY
MORE SELF-SERVING

AND SELF-CENTERED?

WHAT? HOW IS THAT SELF-SERVING?

GIVE ME THAT.

WHAT?

JUST GIVE IT TO ME.

"DEAR... JODI."

"WHEN... I AM SCARED,

"I MICROMANAGE.

"WHEN I AM UNCERTAIN,

I OVER... STATE."

"AND WHEN I AM CHALLENGED..."

"I, UH, BELITTLE..."

"AND...

LASH OUT."

"AND WHEN I LOVE SOMEONE,

"I TRY

TO PUT HER IN A BOX."

SHOULD I SEND IT?

GO AHEAD.

OKAY. GO AHEAD.

OKAY. NO, GO AHEAD.

NOW YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW UP

WITH SOMETHING ROMANTIC.

I SENT HER FLOWERS.

FLOWERS? THAT'S GENERIC.

IS JODI GENERIC?

WELL, I DID HAVE THIS
ONE REALLY CRAZY IDEA.

THERE'S THIS BUILDING
ON SELMA IN HOLLY...

IN HOLLYWOOD...

OH.

IT LOOKS LIKE YOU HAVE TO GO.

YEAH, I HAVE TO
SHOW KATE HER OFFICE.

WE SET UP A PRODUCTION OFFICE

FOR LEZ GIRLS.

SO YOU'RE BACK WITH WOMEN, THEN?

NO.

WE'RE JUST WORKING TOGETHER.

DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT?

THAT YOU'RE BACK WITH WOMEN?

NO, OF COURSE NOT.

IT'S JUST, LIKE...

I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY.

I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY, TOO.

HEY, KATE.

HEY.

ANYWAY, THANKS A
MILLION FOR YOUR HELP.

CALL ME IF YOU, UM...

IF YOU NEED SOME...

YOU KNOW, ADVICE.

OKAY.

OKAY.

GOOD LUCK.

OKAY.

ANYWAY, BYE.

SEE YOU, KATE.

MM.

SO, HONEY, UM, SHANE
AND I HAVE SOMETHING

THAT WE'VE BEEN WANTING
TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT.

UH...

OH, BOY.

SORRY, DID THAT GET YOU?

NO, NO, NO. OOPS, MY BAD.

NO, NO, NO, IT'S OKAY.

ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?

YEAH. WHAT?

OKAY, WELL, YOU KNOW

THAT SHANE IS MY GIRLFRIEND...

YOU DO KNOW THAT?

YEAH. SO?

WELL, WE WANT TO MAKE
SURE YOU'RE OKAY WITH THAT.

OKAY WITH US

BEING GIRLFRIENDS

AND SPENDING A LOT
OF TIME TOGETHER

AND REALLY...

REALLY CARING ABOUT...

AW, MOM...

I ALREADY TOLD YOU.

I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE A LEZ.

I ALREADY KNOW THAT YOU ARE,

BUT I DON'T WANT MY MOM

TO BE ONE.

CAN I TRY?

PLEASE.

JARED?

JARED.

SO YOU'RE NOT SO
HAPPY ABOUT THIS?

YOU KNOW, MAN, I DON'T THINK

YOU'RE REALLY BEING VERY FAIR,

WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

BECAUSE, YOUR MOM,

SHE'S A PRETTY WONDERFUL PERSON,

AND SHE LOVES YOU,

AND SHE LETS YOU BE WHO YOU ARE.

SO YOU DON'T WANT
HER TO BE WHO SHE IS?

I MEAN, WHAT, WOULD YOU...

DO YOU NOT WANT
SHAY AS A BROTHER?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

I MEAN, WE COULD GET A HOUSE

AND WE COULD BE LIKE A FAMILY,

AND... AND YOU AND SHAY
COULD BE LIKE BROTHERS.

BUT SHAY DOESN'T
LIVE WITH YOU ANYMORE.

I KNOW.

SO, UM, HERE IT IS.

FEEL FREE TO ADD ANY
PERSONAL TOUCHES.

I KNOW IT'S NOT VERY ELEGANT.

WELL, IT'S ACTUALLY
POSITIVELY SWANKY

COMPARED TO WHAT I'M USED TO.

I MEAN, ON PANDORA,

THE BATHROOM WAS
MY PRODUCTION OFFICE.

WELL, IT'S ALL YOURS.

YEAH?

MM-HMM.

"DIRECTOR."

DID YOU TELL JENNY?

UH, NOT EXACTLY.

I WANT US TO TAKE THE
STUDIO MEETING FIRST,

AND ONCE THEY'RE ON BOARD,

WE CAN TELL THEM
WE NEED TO FIRE JENNY

AND BUY HER OUT OF HER CONTRACT.

IS SHE GOING TO
BE AT THE MEETING?

NO, NO, NO, I TOLD
HER IT WAS CANCELED.

I TOLD HER

THAT LORENZO WAS OUT OF TOWN.

SO IS IT BETTE?

IS WHAT BETTE?

THE PERSON THAT YOU
HAVE FEELINGS FOR.

THE REASON YOU COULDN'T
COME HOME WITH ME

THE OTHER NIGHT.

WE'RE WORKING TOGETHER.

IT WAS BETTE.

IT WAS.

SO WHY ARE YOU HELPING HER
GET BACK TOGETHER WITH JODI?

I DON'T KNOW,
MAYBE I FEEL GUILTY

THAT I WANT HER BACK

LESS THAN A YEAR
AFTER BREAKING UP.

I FUCKED UP.

IT WAS...

IT WAS FUCKING
BLOODY. IT WAS BAD.

THAT'S WHAT BREAK-UPS
ARE. THEY'RE FUCKING BLOODY.

I DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT
TO COMPLICATE HER LIFE

JUST BECAUSE SHE'S
MET SOMEONE ELSE.

AND IF IT DOESN'T WORK
OUT BETWEEN THEM?

I GUESS I'M WAITING TO
SEE ABOUT THAT, TOO.

WELL, YOU KNOW,

GIRLS LIKE ME DON'T STAY

ON THE OPEN MARKET VERY LONG.

SO IF YOU WANT SOME OF THIS,

YOU'D BETTER GET IN THERE

SOONER RATHER THAN LATER.

PHYLLIS, THIS IS JOYCE WISCHNIA,

A.K.A. "THE REAMER."

PLEASURE TO MEET YOU, PHYLLIS.

NICE TO MEET YOU, JOYCE.

I HATE TO ADMIT IT,

BUT I'M NOT FAMILIAR
WITH REAMERS.

IT'S A PRECISION TOOL, PHYLLIS.

IF YOU'RE GOING TO BE A LESBIAN,

YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO
GET TO KNOW YOUR TOOL KIT.

TECHNICALLY, A TOOL
FOR ENLARGING HOLES,

WHICH IS NOT NECESSARILY THE
ANALOGY I WOULD HAVE CHOSEN,

BUT ONE RARELY GETS TO CHOOSE
ONE'S OWN ENDEARING EPITHET.

I KNOW.

MINE IS... OH, BETTE, TELL HER.

WELL, PHYLLIS,

I HAVE ONLY HEARD YOU
REFERRED TO AS "MA'AM."

"HEADS WILL ROLL" KROLL.

I LOVE IT!

ANYWAY, I KNOW THAT JOYCE

IS THE BEST LAWYER
IN TOWN TO HELP YOU

WITH WHAT YOU'RE
ABOUT TO GO THROUGH.

SHE GOT ME AND TINA THROUGH
A HIDEOUS CUSTODY BATTLE.

HOW IS TINA,

BY THE WAY?

SHE'S BACK IN THE
FOLD, ACTUALLY.

"BACK IN THE FOLD"?

DO WE HAVE TO BE SO ARCANE?

OF COURSE SHE IS.

PLEASE DON'T TELL
ME THE TWO OF YOU

ARE GETTING BACK TOGETHER.

NO, SHE'S MET SOMEONE ELSE.

AND SO HAS BETTE.

OH, REALLY? WELL, GOOD FOR YOU.

BUT SHE'S BLOWING IT.

SHE LET HER GO.

WORSE, SHE DROVE HER AWAY.

YOU WERE SO THRILLING TOGETHER.

YOU WERE PERFECT
FOR ONE ANOTHER.

JODI'S A BRILLIANT ARTIST.

FORMIDABLE.

NOW, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO

TO GET HER BACK, BETTE?

I SENT HER FLOWERS.

FLOWERS?

OH, COME ON. YOU'RE AN IDIOT.

WHAT IS SO WRONG WITH FLOWERS?

WELL, YOU'VE GOT TO BE A
LITTLE MORE ORIGINAL THAN THAT

IF SHE'S AS SPECIAL
AS PHYLLIS SAYS.

I'M GOING TO GO
AND COMMIT HARA-KIRI

RIGHT NOW.

YOU HAVE A GREAT
SPRING BREAK, PHYLLIS.

YOU TOO, BETTE.

IT WAS NICE TO SEE YOU, JOYCE.

NICE TO SEE YOU, TOO.

HAVE A SEAT.

OKAY.

PHYLLIS, LET'S HAVE IT.

WHAT'S YOUR STORY?

WELL, JOYCE,

I FIRST SUSPECTED

I MIGHT BE LESBIAN

WHEN I WAS A
SOPHOMORE AT WELLESLEY.

I FELL MADLY IN LOVE
WITH JANE HOWARD.

WE BOTH LOVED...

NO, NO, NO, I MEAN YOUR
PRESENT-DAY STORY.

OH. I UNDERSTAND
YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND

ARE GETTING A DIVORCE.

YES.

I ACTUALLY SAW YOUR MOVIE

BEFORE IT WON SUNDANCE.

I TRIED TO CONVINCE
THESE ASSHOLES

TO PICK IT UP, BUT...

OUR CLASSICS DIVISION

WAS A MESS.

YEAH, IT WAS OUR BAD.

WELL, NOW YOU
HAVE HER NEXT MOVIE,

WHICH IS A PRETTY
GOOD CHUMP PRIZE.

HELLO.

I'M SO SORRY I AM LATE,

BUT I HAD TO PICK UP
SOUNDER FROM THE GROOMER,

BECAUSE I WANTED HIM

TO BE ALL LOVELY AND PRETTY

FOR HIS VERY FIRST
STUDIO MEETING.

THERE WAS NO PARKING PASS
FOR ME AT THE GUARD GATE

FOR SOME REASON.

LORENZO, DEE DEE, CHIP,

THIS IS JENNY SCHECTER.

HI. SHE'S THE AUTHOR

OF THE BOOK.

OH!

LORENZO?

YES.

HI.

LET ME GIVE YOU A VERY BIG HUG.

MWAH. WELCOME BACK.

IT'S SO NICE TO
FINALLY MEET YOU.

I ACTUALLY DIDN'T KNOW

THAT YOU WOULD
BE AT THE MEETING.

WELL, JENNY, WE THOUGHT THAT...

WHAT, THAT I WAS, UH,
COMPLETELY CLUELESS?

SOMEONE TO FUCK WITH?

NO, OF COURSE NOT.

SOMEONE WHO DIDN'T REALIZE

WHAT A LYING,

DUPLICITOUS, SCHEMING,

EXCUSE YOU ARE FOR A FRIEND?

BE CAREFUL

IF YOU'RE DOING
BUSINESS WITH THIS WOMAN

BECAUSE SHE
ACTUALLY EATS HER OWN.

JENNY, ACTUALLY,

TINA'S BEEN A REALLY
GOOD FRIEND TO YOU.

AS A MATTER OF FACT,
SHE'S PROTECTED YOU.

SHE JUST WANTS TO FUCK YOU.

SHE DOES.

SHE JUST WANTS TO
GET IN YOUR PANTS.

SHUT THE FUCK UP, JENNY, OKAY?

YOU'RE A CUNT.

THAT... UH...

DON'T TOUCH MY DOG.

BETTE ALMOST LOST
HER JOB BECAUSE OF YOU.

DID YOU KNOW THAT?

THAT ENDANGERS MY CHILD.

SORRY. COME HERE.

THAT IS FOOD IN
ANGELICA'S MOUTH.

THAT IS A ROOF OVER HER HEAD.

THAT, TO ME, IS UNFORGIVABLE.

OH, GOD, TINA.

CAN YOU JUST CUT
ALL YOUR BULLSHIT?

JUST BECAUSE YOU'VE HAD A BABY

DOESN'T MAKE YOU MORE
EXALTED THAN THE REST OF US.

I AM SO FUCKING TIRED

OF ALL THESE TEDIOUS
LESBIANS HAVING BABIES

AND THE
SELF-AGGRANDIZING BULLSHIT.

OOH.

GOD.

I'M SORRY.

HE'S NOT POTTY-TRAINED.

IS HE? SORRY.

I LOVE YOU, SWEETIE.

GOOD NIGHT.

YOU SLEEP TIGHT.

I LOVE YOU.

I LOVE YOU.

I LOVE YOU.

I LOVE YOU.

HELLO?

HI. IT'S TOM MATER

INTERPRETING FOR JODI LERNER.

SHE'S... SHE'S CALLING ME BACK?

HELLO?

YEAH, I'M IN UPSTATE NEW YORK.

CELL PHONES DON'T WORK HERE.

WE'RE SLEEPING IN A TENT.

WE JUST GOT TO
THE LODGE TONIGHT.

SO, UM, WHERE...
WHERE IS THE LODGE?

IT'S IN TOWN.

WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?

I JUST WANTED TO SAY

THAT, JODI, I JUST... I GOT...

I GOT SCARED, AND...

AND YOU PUT ME IN A BOX.

I KNOW.

OH, SO YOU GOT THE...
YOU GOT MY EMAIL?

YES, I DID.

AND I REALLY APPRECIATE
YOUR HONESTY.

SO HOW'S EVERYTHING GOING?

HELLO?

UM...

IT'S COLD...

AND INTENSE.

WELL, YEAH, I MEAN, I'M SURE

IF YOU GUYS ARE...

IF YOU'RE LIVING IN A TENT...

AND I'M SURE THE
WORK IS GOING WELL,

I JUST... HELLO?

WAS THERE ANYTHING IN PARTICULAR

YOU WANTED TO SPEAK TO ME ABOUT?

HELLO?

YEAH.

UH...

WELL...

I JUST... AHEM.

I JUST WANTED TO
SAY THAT I MISS YOU,

AND, UM, I'M SURE
ANGIE MISSES YOU, TOO.

SHE JUST SIGNED...

SHE JUST SIGNED "I LOVE YOU"

TO ME TONIGHT.

THAT'S SWEET.

♪ THANK YOU ♪

♪ THANK YOU FOR
GIVING US THE DAY ♪

SO I SECURED THE DOLLY DOWN

WITH THESE BUNGEE CORDS.

OH, GOOD. GREAT. THANK YOU.

AND I GAVE YOU
MY POWER DRILL SET

AND AN EXTRA ROPE.

I'M JUST SORRY I CAN'T
GO WITH YOU GUYS.

IT'S NO PROBLEM. THANK YOU.

SO, IS GRACE GOING WITH
YOU TO SAN FRANCISCO?

YEAH, SHE IS.

GOOD MORNING.

HEY.

HOW LONG ARE YOU GOING BE THERE?

HOW LONG IS THE RECOVERY?

I DON'T KNOW.

I DON'T KNOW IF
I'M GOING TO DO IT.

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO
GO THROUGH WITH IT?

REALLY?

GOOD LORD, IT'S
EARLY. GOOD MORNING.

HEY, GOOD LUCK IN SAN FRANCISCO.

THANKS.

OH, HE DOESN'T KNOW

IF HE'S GOING TO
GO THROUGH WITH IT.

YOU'RE NOT GOING
TO GET THE, UH...

REALLY?

I MIGHT.

I JUST...

IT'S AN IRREVERSIBLE
DECISION, YOU KNOW?

RIGHT.

YEAH.

WELL, ANYWAY, YOU
GUYS SHOULD TAKE OFF.

YOU DRIVING? YEAH.

GOOD LUCK.

THANKS. GOOD LUCK TO YOU.

TAKE CARE.

I'M SORRY I'M NOT
GOING TO BE ABLE

TO GO TO TASHA'S
GOING-AWAY PARTY.

THAT'S ALL RIGHT,
NEITHER IS ALICE.

I'M NOT GOING.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

I'M NOT GOING TO A
PARTY TO CELEBRATE

THAT THE PERSON I CARE
FOR IS ABOUT TO LEAVE

FOR THE MOST DANGEROUS
PLACE ON EARTH,

YOU KNOW, TO FIGHT

IN A MORALLY BANKRUPT WAR

AND MAY BE COMING
HOME IN A BODY BAG.

IT WOULD BE INSANE.

YOU'RE WRONG, ALICE.

WELL, SHE'S NOT TOTALLY WRONG.

WHY?

IT IS A MORALLY BANKRUPT WAR.

LET'S GO.

ARE YOU SURE

YOU KNOW, MAYBE SHE
JUST WOULDN'T WANT, LIKE,

A SPORTS CAR?

OR, I DON'T KNOW,
LIKE A CARTIER DIAMOND

WOULD BE A LOVELY GIFT.

WELL, SHE SAID SHE
WANTED TO USE IT

IN A SCULPTURE.

SHE SAID IT WAS THE
MOST BEAUTIFUL SIGN

SHE'D EVER SEEN.

LOOK, THE WHOLE BUILDING

IS SCHEDULED

TO BE DEMOLISHED
NEXT WEEK ANYWAY.

I TRIED TO TALK TO THE
OWNER OF THE BUILDING,

BUT HE'S OUT OF THE COUNTRY,

EVADING TAX FRAUD
CHARGES OR SOMETHING.

OKAY, SHANE, I'M GOING
TO GIVE YOU THE ROPE.

I WANT YOU TO RIG IT UP

SO WE CAN TRY TO
GET IT OVER THE FENCE.

THEN I TRIED TO TALK TO
THE BUILDING MANAGER,

BUT HE'S A USELESS
FRIGGIN' PETTY BUREAUCRAT

WHO WOULD RATHER SAY NO

THAN TAKE A $1,500 BRIBE,

AND JAMES WASN'T
ABLE TO GET IN TOUCH

WITH THE SECURITY GUARD.

SO THAT MEANS...

HERE WE ARE.

OKAY.

WELL, I HOPE WE DON'T GET IN
TOUCH WITH HIM THIS MORNING.

THAT WOULD SUCK.

NO, WELL, I HAD HIM
CHECK ON THE SHIFTS.

WEEKENDS, HE ONLY COMES

IN THE LATE AFTERNOON.

OKAY, SO, WE HAVE THE DOLLY,

WE HAVE THE ROPE,
WE HAVE THE TOOLKIT,

WE HAVE THE WIRECUTTERS,

WE HAVE STEAKS.

OKAY...

STEAKS?

FOR LUNCH?

ONE...

THAT'D BE NICE.

TWO...

HAVE YOU DONE
THAT BEFORE, BETTE?

NO, ALICE, I HAVEN'T.

WE'RE GOING OVER.

YOU GO FIRST. ME?

WHAT DO I DO?

WHY DON'T YOU... START ON UP.

WE'RE GOING TO TAKE THE
DOLLY UP OVER THE FENCE.

OKAY.

NEED A HAND?

UH, YEAH... OH!

THANKS.

YOU KNOW, KATE, I THINK

IS JUST A REPLACEMENT
FOR YOU, BETTE.

I THINK TINA REALLY WANTS TO GET

BACK TOGETHER WITH YOU.

NO, SHE DOESN'T.

OH, REALLY? HOW DO YOU KNOW?

BECAUSE SHE'S TRYING
TO HELP ME GET JODI BACK.

WHY WOULD SHE TRY TO
HELP ME GET JODI BACK

IF SHE WANTED TO BE WITH ME?

RIGHT.

OKAY, I'M GOING TO
HAND UP THE DOLLY.

WHEW.

HEY, WHAT ARE THOSE
STEAKS FOR ANYWAY?

COME ON, YOU GUYS, LET'S GO!

LET'S GO.

THIS WAY.

ALICE, ALICE, ALICE.

BE CAREFUL.

ALL RIGHT.

DON'T MAKE SO MUCH NOISE, OKAY?

HEY, DID YOU GUYS EVER
HEAR OF VALLEY VILLAGE?

VALLEY VILLAGE?

YEAH, THE PLACE
WHERE YOU CAN GET

THAT THREE-BEDROOM HOUSE,

AND A DISHWASHER...

WITH JUNE AND BEAVER
CLEAVER AS YOUR NEIGHBOR, YEAH.

ASIDE FROM THAT SNOTTY REMARK,

YOU KNOW, THE KIDS CAN

RIDE THEIR BIKES
TO SCHOOL, AND...

SHIT. NO?

FUCK.

HEY!

LET'S GO, FATTY. COME ON.

YOU OWE ME.

OKAY.

OKAY! OKAY!

I GOT IT.

WHY IS SHE TALKING
ABOUT KIDS AND BIKES

AND FAMILY ROOMS?

I DON'T THINK THAT'S SHANE.

I THINK THAT'S A POD PERSON

IN SHANE'S BODY
PRETENDING TO BE SHANE.

OKAY, COME ON.

OW!

OOF!

WHERE IS IT?

THERE IT IS, UP THERE.

THAT'S NOT IT.

IS THAT IT? YEAH, YEAH.

YEAH, IT IS.

YOU'RE KIDDING. OH, MY GOD.

ARE YOU HIGH?

THIS ISN'T REALISTIC.

THIS IS FUCKING INSANE.

I KNOW.

BUT IT'S ROMANTIC.

IT IS.

LAUGH IF YOU WANT.

WAIT A MINUTE!

WHAT?

OH, MY GOD. PHOTO OP.

ALICE...

OKAY, SAY, "THIS
IS FUCKING CRAZY!"

♪ GONNA LEAVE YOU, BABY ♪

♪ BEFORE I COMMIT A CRIME ♪

♪ I'M GONNA LEAVE YOU, BABY ♪

♪ BEFORE I COMMIT A CRIME ♪

YEAH, GIRL, WE MADE ALL
THESE LITTLE SANDWICHES,

YOU KNOW, THINGS THAT'LL KEEP,

AND WE MADE THE PLANET COOKIES!

OH, I LOVE THE PLANET COOKIES!

WELL, I'M SO GLAD,

BECAUSE I MADE A
THOUSAND OF THEM SUCKERS,

SO WE BETTER EAT 'EM,

AND I MADE A CAKE,

WHICH I WILL BRING BACK

WHEN I COME BACK TONIGHT.

IS IT RED, WHITE, AND BLUE?

NO.

ARE YOU GUYS BACK TOGETHER?

PAPI...

I...

I'M REALLY WORKING ON

GETTING MYSELF
BACK TOGETHER FIRST

BEFORE I CAN

GO BACK WITH ANYONE.

I WISH YOU BOTH HAPPINESS.

I'M AFRAID WE HAVE
A LITTLE CONFLICT.

WHAT KIND OF A CONFLICT?

WE'VE BEEN INVITED TO A
POKER GAME THIS EVENING.

VERY BIG PAYDAY.

CATHERINE,

THIS IS MY FRIEND'S
GOING-AWAY PARTY.

I HAVE TO BE HERE.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE HERE.

I'M SURE YOUR FRIENDS
WILL UNDERSTAND

THAT I NEED YOU.

COME ON, COME ON, COME ON.

HERE IT COMES.

COME ON.

OKAY, I GOT IT.

I GOT IT. SHIT!

I THINK I HEAR SOMEONE!

HURRY UP!

SHIT. IT'S THAT SECURITY GUY.

I THOUGHT YOU SAID

HE WAS COMING THIS AFTERNOON?

SHANE, WE'RE COMING DOWN.

YEAH, HURRY UP.

OKAY, COME ON. LET'S GO.

OH, GOD. I'M STUCK!

GO WITHOUT ME.

LEAVE ME BEHIND!

SAVE YOURSELF!

WE CAN'T DO THIS, YOU GUYS.

YES, WE CAN.

JUST KEEP GOING.

OH, GOD.

WHEW.

YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST.

REALLY.

YOU'RE JUST THE BEST.

THANK YOU.

YOU'RE WELCOME. YEAH, YEAH.

SOUNDER.

STOP IT.

STOP IT.

♪ TRY ME I'M HARD TO PLEASE ♪

SOUNDER.

SOUNDER, COME.

SOUNDER, COME.

BEHAVE YOURSELF.

LET'S GO.

HEY.

KATE.

HI.

JENNY.

I, UH... I WANTED TO APOLOGIZE

FOR MY BEHAVIOR THE OTHER DAY.

I WAS...

A LITTLE UPSET.

I THINK THAT...

THE REASON WHY
ALL OF THAT HAPPENED

IS 'CAUSE TINA MIGHT BE
THREATENED OR SOMETHING...

YOU KNOW, ACTUALLY,

I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING.

THIS ISN'T REALLY
A GOOD TIME, OKAY?

BUT MAYBE YOU AND I
COULD GET TOGETHER AFTER.

YOU KNOW.

SURE. OKAY.

I WAS... I MEAN, I... I JUST
WANTED TO TELL YOU

THAT I THINK THAT IF
YOU AND I COULD TRY

TO WORK TOGETHER,

I THINK THAT WE COULD

DO SOMETHING MEANINGFUL
AND POWERFUL AND...

I HEAR THE BOOK IS RIVETING,

JENNY.

I CAN'T WAIT TO READ IT.

MERKIN? ANY MORE LIVES

DESTROYED IN THIS ONE?

HAVE YOU CRUSHED
ANY SOULS LATELY?

OR WAS LINDSEY IT?

WHAT IS SHE DOING HERE?

I'M WRITING A STORY ON KATE

FOR VELVETPARK MAGAZINE.

ARE YOU GUYS...

WHERE'S... WHERE'S LINDSEY?

WHAT HAVE YOU... WHAT
HAPPENED TO LINDSEY?

WHO'S LINDSEY?

THAT'S JUST WHAT

I WAS ABOUT TO
TALK TO YOU ABOUT.

LINDSEY WAS MY GIRLFRIEND.

SHE WAS A VETERINARIAN.

A SWEET, SELFLESS PERSON.

AND THEN JENNY CAME
IN AND DESTROYED HER.

SHE WROTE A TERRIBLE
REVIEW OF MY BOOK.

ARE YOU GOING TO
KILL THAT DOG, TOO?

I DIDN'T KILL A DOG.

YOU KILLED A DOG?

NO, I DIDN'T.

THE DOG WAS OLD

AND THE DOG WAS...
THE DOG WAS SICK.

LINDSEY WAS SO,
SO INCREDIBLY UPSET

WHEN SHE FOUND OUT

THAT THE DOG SHE PUT DOWN

WAS ACTUALLY NOT
JENNY'S DOG AT ALL.

OH...

YOU'RE MORE TWISTED
THAN TINA SAID YOU WERE.

YOU'RE MORE TWISTED THAN
THE CHARACTERS IN YOUR BOOK.

I MADE A MISTAKE, OKAY?

IT WAS A VERY BAD MISTAKE.

DO YOU, LIKE,

PREY ON PEOPLE WHOSE LIVES
ARE ALREADY FALLING APART,

OR DO YOU ACTUALLY TAKE

A MORE AGGRESSIVE ROLE
IN CREATING THEIR GRIEF

AND DESTRUCTION?

THAT'S SUCH A GOOD QUESTION.

I MEAN, IN JENNY'S WORLD,

DOES ART IMITATE LIFE?

DOES LIFE IMITATE ART?

AND WHEN I THINK
OF THAT POOR GIRL

THAT'S THE BASE FOR
THE CHARACTER "KARINA"...

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

MARINA WAS A VIPER.

NO, ACTUALLY, I HEARD
SHE WAS A REALLY NICE GIRL

UNTIL SHE MET YOU,

AND THEN HER LIFE,
LIKE, FELL APART.

THAT'S NOT TRUE.

YOU SHOULDN'T LISTEN

TO ANYTHING MERKIN SAYS.

NO, STACEY DIDN'T TELL ME.

WHAT? WHO TOLD YOU THAT?

IT WAS, UH, "ALYSSE."

NO, IT WAS...

"SHAUN." "SHAUN" TOLD ME.

OH, NO. "NINA."

WAS IT "NINA"?

YOU KNOW, I CAN'T WAIT

TO TELL YOU WHAT I'M GOING TO DO

WITH THE CHARACTER OF JESSIE

IN MY ADAPTATION OF LEZ GIRLS.

NO, I DON'T WANT THE TRACK...

OKAY, NO, YOU'RE RIGHT.

OH, I'LL GET THE
TRACKING NUMBER.

OKAY, WHAT IS IT?

HI. I'M PHYLLIS KROLL.

HI. I'M TINA KENNARD.

IS BETTE HERE? UH, YEAH.

HI! I'M SORRY.

I'M JUST... I'M RUNNING TO
THE AIRPORT RIGHT NOW...

I'M SO SORRY.

I'LL JUST TAKE

A MOMENT OF YOUR TIME.

YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE THIS.

JOYCE WISCHNIA

REFUSES TO REPRESENT ME,

SAYING IT'S A
CONFLICT OF INTEREST.

WELL, I'M REALLY SORRY, PHYLLIS.

I CAN'T IMAGINE

WHAT CONFLICT OF
INTEREST THERE WOULD BE.

BUT RIGHT NOW I'M...

WELL, IT WOULD
HAVE BEEN A CONFLICT

BECAUSE THE MOMENT
I LAID EYES ON HER,

I KNEW I WANTED TO
JUMP HER LOVELY BONES.

HEY, TINA.

HI, JOYCE.

OH, WHAT A STUNNINGLY
BEAUTIFUL, BRILLIANT,

AND SEXY BOSS YOU HAVE, BETTE.

WHAT DO YOU SAY, DOLL?

YOU WANT TO HIT THE ROAD?

YEAH, LET'S GO ON OUT

TO WATTLES MANSION. YEAH!

OOH, WE'RE GOING
TO WATTLES MANSION!

OH, WE JUST LOVE TO DO
ARCHITECTURAL GARDEN TOURS.

OH, BETTE,

DID YOU CALL A TAXI?

OH, YEAH, CAN YOU ASK THEM

TO WAIT ONE SECOND?

THAT WAS SURREAL. SURREAL.

ABSOLUTELY.

OH, MY GOD.

I'M GOING TO CALL
AND TALK TO ANGIE.

THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR HELPING ME.

I REALLY, REALLY APPRECIATE IT.

OKAY, AND REMEMBER...

"I TOTALLY DEFER TO YOU."

WHEN SHE ASKS YOU
WHETHER YOU'RE PLANNING

ON HANGING OUT
WHEN SHE'S WORKING...

"I TOTALLY DEFER TO YOU."

AND WHEN SHE WANTS
TO JOIN YOU FOR DINNER?

"I YIELD TO YOUR WISHES."

AND WHEN SHE EQUIVOCATES
ABOUT WHETHER IT'S A GOOD IDEA

FOR YOU TO SLEEP
TOGETHER TOMORROW NIGHT?

"I BOW TO YOUR
SUPERIOR JUDGMENT."

GOOD LUCK.

GOOD LUCK TO YOU, TOO.

FOR WHAT?

WITH KATE.

OH...

YEAH.

WELL, I'LL CALL YOU.

OKAY.

YOU'LL LOCK UP?

OH, YEAH, I GOT IT, I GOT IT.

GREAT.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

BYE.

BYE.

UM... OKAY.

HOW AMAZING IS THIS?

WHAT?

BEING ALONE IN THE HOUSE.

NO ROOMMATES.

NO KID.

HAVE YOU TALKED TO JARED?

YES.

HE'S FINE.

IT'S HIS SECOND
SLEEPOVER WITH GREG.

OH, GOOD.

WHAT'S THAT?

OH, IT'S, UH...

A HOUSE I WAS GOING TO TAKE.

IT WOULD HAVE BEEN PERFECT, TOO.

THREE-BEDROOM, FAMILY ROOM,

BACKYARD...

MAYBE YOU AND
JARED SHOULD TAKE IT.

OH, YOU KNOW WE
CAN'T AFFORD THAT.

MAYBE WE SHOULD
TALK ABOUT, UM...

MAYBE TAKING IT TOGETHER.

WHAT?

WHAT?

WHAT'D I SAY?

NOTHING!

NO, YOU JUST HAVE A
LITTLE, UM, TOOTHPASTE

RIGHT...

HERE?

NO, NO, NO.

NO, THE OTHER SIDE.

YEAH.

IS IT OFF?

NO, NOT REALLY.

IT'S STILL KIND OF THERE.

WHAT, YOU GOING TO LET
ME SIT HERE WITH IT ON?

NO. YOU'RE GONNA TAKE IT OFF?

IS IT OFF?

NO, I DON'T THINK IT'S OFF YET.

♪ HERE AGAIN AT THE END ♪

♪ BEFORE THE BEGINNING ♪

♪ SO THE SALT WILL SPILL AGAIN ♪

♪ THROW IT OVER YOUR SHOULDER ♪

♪ OH, IT'S IN TOMORROW
FORTUNE OR SORROW ♪

♪ WAIT, YOU MAY WIN ♪

♪ I DON'T MEAN TO SHOW
THAT I KNOW HOW THIS GOES ♪

♪ BEFORE WE BEGIN ♪

♪ AGAIN ♪

♪ YOU MAY HIDE ON ONE SIDE ♪

♪ AND ME ON THE OTHER ♪

♪ YOU MAY SPEAK
BUT WAIT FOR ME ♪

♪ SHOULD MY SENTENCE FALTER ♪

♪ OH, IT'S IN TOMORROW
FORTUNE OR SORROW ♪

♪ WAIT, YOU MAY WIN ♪

♪ BUT NOW IT FEELS EMPTY
THERE'S NO NEED IN GUESSING ♪

♪ BEFORE WE BEGIN ♪

♪ AGAIN ♪

♪ OH, IT'S IN TOMORROW
FORTUNE OR SORROW ♪

♪ WAIT, YOU MAY WIN ♪

♪ BUT NOW IT FEELS EMPTY
THERE'S NO NEED IN GUESSING ♪

♪ BEFORE WE BEGIN ♪

♪ AGAIN ♪

♪ SO HERE WE ARE AGAIN ♪

♪ BACK TO THE BEGINNING ♪

♪ SO THE SALT WILL SPILL AGAIN ♪

♪ THROW IT OVER YOUR SHOULDER ♪

♪ OH, IT'S IN TOMORROW
FORTUNE OR SORROW ♪

♪ WAIT, YOU MAY WIN ♪

♪ I DON'T MEAN TO SHOW
THAT I KNOW HOW THIS GOES ♪

♪ BEFORE WE BEGIN ♪

♪ AGAIN ♪

ALL RIGHT, I'LL BE
WAITING OUTSIDE.

OKAY.

FUCK YOU, TASHA.

WELL, FUCK YOU, TOO.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I DIDN'T ASK YOU TO COME HERE.

WHAT?

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

YOU NEED ME.

OH, PLEASE.

WHO ELSE IS GOING TO TELL YOU

TO GET YOUR ASS
OFF THE SOFA, HUH?

AND OVER TO YOUR FRIEND'S
FUCKING GOING-AWAY PARTY, ALICE?

I CAN'T DO THAT, OKAY?

BECAUSE YOU'RE
FALLING IN LOVE WITH HER?

BECAUSE SHE GOT INSIDE HERE?

BECAUSE YOU'RE AFRAID

YOU'RE NEVER GOING
TO SEE HER AGAIN?

DO YOU KNOW SOMETHING?

DO YOU HAVE INFORMATION?

LOOK...

WHAT I KNOW, ALICE...

IS THAT YOU NEVER KNOW

HOW LONG ANYTHING'S GONNA LAST.

THE ONLY THING

ANY OF US KNOWS IN THIS LIFE

IS THAT ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN.

YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT'S
GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT.

WELL, THAT'S TOO HARD FOR ME.

SO, WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

HMM?

THAT YOU WISH YOU NEVER MET ME?

THAT, BECAUSE I HAD TO LEAVE,

AND THAT WAS REALLY

HARD FOR YOU,

THAT YOU'D RATHER I
JUST NEVER EXISTED

IN THE FIRST PLACE?

HMM?

THAT'D BE EASIER?

LOOK, ALICE, I DON'T THINK

IT'S ANY LESS PAINFUL

TO LOSE SOMEONE TO A
TRAGIC MISUNDERSTANDING

THAN IT IS TO LOSE SOMEONE

TO A GODDAMN HEART ATTACK.

THAT'S NOT TRUE,

BECAUSE I CAN GET OVER
A MISUNDERSTANDING.

NOT ALWAYS.

ANYWAY, DON'T... DON'T ARGUE
WITH MY SUPERIOR WISDOM, OKAY?

GO GET DRESSED.

GO ON!

I WANT TO SEE YOU IN
THAT FUCKING PARTY DRESS.

OH. GOD...

YOU REALLY CURSE A LOT MORE NOW.

OHH...

♪ I'VE BEEN HERE
FOR A LONG TIME... ♪

YEAH, WELL, YOU'D
CURSE A LOT, TOO.

♪ WE'RE GONNA HAVE
TO CARRY YOU OUT ♪

♪ HOW LONG? ♪

♪ HOW MUCH MORE
LONG? HOW LONG? ♪

WELL, THANKS FOR HAVING US.

WOW! LOOK AT THIS VIEW!

HEY THERE.

HEY.

HI. HI.

HOW'RE YOU DOING?

THEY FIRED ME FROM THE MOVIE.

SHUT UP.

YEAH, THEY DID.

I THINK I'VE BEEN JUDGED A LOT,

AND I DON'T KNOW.

PEOPLE HERE JUST THINK

THAT I'M, LIKE, THIS PARIAH.

YOU'RE NOT A PARIAH.

YOU KNOW THAT.

I LOVE YOU.

I LOVE YOU TOO.

YOU'RE NOT A PARIAH. FUCK OFF.

COME HAVE A DRINK WITH ME.

NAH, I'M JUST
GOING TO STAY HERE.

YOU SURE?

YEAH, I'M GOOD.

I'M GOING TO COME
AND CHECK ON YOU.

BYE. BYE.

HEY.

HEY. WHAT'S UP?

IT'S TASHA'S PARTY.
WHERE'S TASHA?

SHE'S WALKING ON THE BEACH

WITH PAPI SOMEWHERE.

I THINK KIT RAN INTO
SOMEBODY SHE KNEW.

♪ ...IN HAITI ♪

♪ THE COAST GUARD
DROPPED ME... ♪

YOU KNOW IF YOU DIE OUT THERE,

I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU, RIGHT?

♪ NO, NO, NO, NO ♪

♪ HOW LONG? ♪

♪ HOW MUCH MORE LONG? ♪

♪ HOW LONG? ♪

♪ HEY ♪

♪ BABY, HOW LONG? ♪

♪ HOW MUCH MORE LONG? ♪

♪ HOW LONG? ♪

♪ OH ♪

♪ I WANNA KNOW ♪

♪ HOW MUCH MORE LONGER ♪

♪ AM I JUST GONNA
HAVE TO WAIT ON YOU? ♪

♪ YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH ♪

WHOO!

ALL RIGHT!

HEY, TOSHI...

THERE'S TASHA, THAT'S OUR GIRL

THAT'S GOING TO IRAQ TOMORROW.

ARE YOU HAVING FUN?

YES.

AS A MATTER OF FACT.

WHAT ABOUT THOSE TWO?

I DON'T KNOW IF
THEY'RE HAVING FUN.

DO YOU THINK THEY'LL LAST?

DO YOU WANT TO WAGER ON IT?

YOU WANT TO MAKE A BET

AS TO WHETHER OR
NOT SHANE AND PAIGE

ARE GOING TO STAY TOGETHER?

COME ON, IT'LL BE FUN.

I'M BETTING THEY'LL MAKE IT.

YEAH, WELL, YOU DON'T
KNOW SHANE'S HISTORY

LIKE I DO.

THEN IT'LL BE A
GOOD BET FOR YOU,

WON'T IT?

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT...

IF THEY'RE NOT STILL TOGETHER

SIX MONTHS FROM NOW,

I'LL WRITE YOU A CHECK
FOR A MILLION DOLLARS.

AND IF THEY'RE STILL TOGETHER?

WELL, IF I WIN,

YOU GET TO BE MY
SERVANT AND SEX SLAVE

FOR THE NEXT YEAR.

HAVE A GREAT POKER GAME.

AND GO FUCK YOURSELF.

FUCKING EXECUTIVES.

HOLD ON.

OH, IT'S, UM... IT'S BETTE.

HEY.

I'M SORRY. IS THIS
TOO LATE TO CALL?

NO, NO, IT'S... IT'S
NOT TOO LATE.

ARE YOU STILL AT TASHA'S PARTY?

YEAH, I'M STILL HERE.

I'M OUT ON THE BEACH WITH KATE.

OH, UM...

WELL, I JUST... I JUST...

I JUST I NEED ONE
MORE LITTLE THING.

JUST TELL ME WHAT TO SAY
WHEN I GIVE HER THE SIGN.

OKAY, UM...

"I NEVER SHOULD
HAVE LET YOU GO."

"I WOULD DO ANYTHING
FOR ANOTHER CHANCE."

"I'M NOT AFRAID TO MAKE
A FOOL OUT OF MYSELF."

OKAY?

SLEEP WELL.

THANK YOU, T.

ALL RIGHT, COME ON, KIDDO.

SINCE NO ONE WANTS
TO RIDE WITH ME,

WHY DON'T WE GO TAKE A RIDE?

LET'S GO.

DO YOU WANT TO GO?

COME ON. COME ON!

YOU AND I WILL BE
FRIENDS, ALL RIGHT?

THANKS FOR STICKING
AROUND, BUDDY.

IT'S JUST YOU AND
THE PARIAH, SOUNDER.

HEY!

HEY.

WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?

WE'RE JUST HANGING OUT
AND HAVING A GOOD TIME.

JUST ONE BIG, HAPPY FAMILY.

YEAH.

SOUNDER?

WHAT'S GOING ON?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

HUH?

WERE YOU GETTING
BORED AT THE PARTY?

WHERE'S YOUR MOTHER?

HEY, WHERE'S JENNY?

THAT'S SOUNDER.

UH, I HAVEN'T SEEN HER.

I WANT THIS ONE

TO HANG PARALLEL.

UP A LITTLE BIT MORE.

GOOD. GOOD, GOOD, GOOD.

PERFECT.

I'M GOING TO HANG
SOMETHING THERE.

LIKE WHAT?

SHE SAID SHE DOESN'T KNOW

WHAT SHE'S GOING TO HANG.

SHE HASN'T FOUND IT YET,

BUT SOMETHING.

♪ LET'S PRETEND WE'RE
JUST TWO PEOPLE ♪

♪ AND YOU'RE NOT
BETTER THAN ME ♪

♪ I'D LIKE TO ASK YOU
SOME QUESTIONS ♪

♪ IF WE CAN SPEAK HONESTLY ♪

♪ WHAT DO YOU FEEL ♪

♪ WHEN YOU SEE ALL THE
HOMELESS ON THE STREET? ♪

♪ WHO DO YOU PRAY FOR AT
NIGHT BEFORE YOU GO TO SLEEP? ♪

♪ WHAT DO YOU FEEL WHEN
YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR? ♪

♪ ARE YOU PROUD? ♪

♪ HOW DO YOU SLEEP
WHILE THE REST OF US CRY? ♪

♪ HOW DO YOU DREAM ♪

♪ WHEN A MOTHER HAS NO
CHANCE TO SAY GOODBYE? ♪

♪ HOW DO YOU WALK WITH
YOUR HEAD HELD HIGH? ♪

♪ CAN YOU EVEN
LOOK ME IN THE EYE ♪

♪ AND TELL ME WHY? ♪

♪ DEAR MR. PRESIDENT ♪

♪ WERE YOU A LONELY BOY? ♪

♪ WERE YOU A LONELY BOY? ♪

♪ ARE YOU A LONELY BOY? ♪

♪ ARE YOU A LONELY BOY? ♪

♪ HOW CAN YOU SAY NO
CHILD IS LEFT BEHIND? ♪

♪ WE'RE NOT DUMB
AND WE'RE NOT BLIND... ♪

BETTER NOT BREAK MY HEART.

♪ ...WHILE YOU PAVE
THE ROAD TO HELL ♪

♪ WHAT KIND OF FATHER ♪

♪ WOULD TAKE HIS OWN
DAUGHTERS' RIGHTS AWAY? ♪

♪ AND WHAT KIND OF FATHER ♪

♪ MIGHT HATE HIS OWN
DAUGHTER IF SHE WERE GAY? ♪

♪ I CAN ONLY IMAGINE ♪

♪ WHAT THE FIRST
LADY HAS TO SAY ♪

♪ YOU'VE COME A LONG WAY
FROM WHISKEY AND COCAINE ♪

♪ HOW DO YOU SLEEP
WHILE THE REST OF US CRY? ♪

♪ HOW DO YOU DREAM ♪

♪ WHEN A MOTHER HAS NO
CHANCE TO SAY GOODBYE? ♪

♪ HOW DO YOU WALK WITH
YOUR HEAD HELD HIGH? ♪

♪ CAN YOU EVEN
LOOK ME IN THE EYE? ♪

♪ LET ME TELL YOU
ABOUT HARD WORK ♪

♪ MINIMUM WAGE WITH
A BABY ON THE WAY ♪

♪ LET ME TELL YOU
ABOUT HARD WORK ♪

♪ REBUILDING YOUR HOUSE AFTER
THE BOMBS TOOK THEM AWAY ♪

♪ LET ME TELL YOU
ABOUT HARD WORK ♪

♪ BUILDING A BED OUT
OF A CARDBOARD BOX ♪

♪ LET ME TELL YOU
ABOUT HARD WORK ♪

♪ HARD WORK, HARD WORK ♪

♪ YOU DON'T KNOW
NOTHING ABOUT HARD WORK ♪

♪ HARD WORK, HARD WORK ♪

♪ HOW DO YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT? ♪

♪ HOW DO YOU WALK ♪

♪ WITH YOUR HEAD HELD HIGH? ♪

♪ DEAR MR. PRESIDENT... ♪

YEAH.