The L Word (2004–2009): Season 4, Episode 11 - Literary License to Kill - full transcript

PREVIOUSLY ON THE L WORD...

THE HORSE RACES
WILL BLOW YOUR MIND.

[LAUGHS]

100,000 ON IN THE PINK.

I THOUGHT IT WAS A SURE THING.

HI, SHANE.

HEY, JARED.

DO YOU MISS SHAY?

YEAH, I DO.

I'M HERE TO BACK UP MEGAN REED.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?



I KNOW FOR A FACT

THAT MITCH DOESN'T
SUPPORT WOMEN.

WELL, HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?

BECAUSE HE DID IT TO ME.

PRIVATE BROWN.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I WAS JUST GOING TO SAY
THE SAME THING TO YOU.

[ALICE]: HE DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING.

WE WEREN'T EVEN TOUCHING.

HE'S A BORN-AGAIN HOMOPHOBE

WHO THINKS HE
SHOULD HAVE MY JOB.

IT'S A STRUGGLE TO
TRY TO DO SOMETHING

THAT YOU REALLY BELIEVE IN...

ALL THESE FUCKING
HOLLYWOOD SUITS



TRYING TO PIGEONHOLE YOU.

PRESENT HOLLYWOOD
COMPANY EXCLUDED.

ALTHOUGH YOU WOULD LOOK

REALLY HOT IN A SUIT.

I THINK WE FOUND OUR DIRECTOR.

[VOICE BREAKING]: I WANT
TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP

WITH SOMEONE WHO WORKS WITH ME.

YOU WANT TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP

WITH SOMEONE

WHO WORKS FOR YOU.

[KIT MOANING SOFTLY]

♪ BRING IT BACK TO THE
MIDDLE AND AROUND AGAIN ♪

♪ WHIP IT UP SHAKE IT DOWN ♪

♪ SLIDE IT BACK
ON IN ALL RIGHT ♪

[MOANING]

♪ OH, RIGHT ♪

♪ KNOCKIN' ON HARD WOOD
LIKE I KNOW YOU SHOULD ♪

♪ YOU'LL BE SHAKIN'
ON THE KITCHEN FLOOR ♪

♪ COOKIN' UP YOUR TV DINNER
SUNDAY AFTERNOON SINNER ♪

♪ TURN IT OFF, TURN
IT OFF SWITCH IT ON ♪

♪ CAN I GET AN
ANGEL UP IN HERE... ♪

OH...

NO. NO. NO, NO, NO.

JUST STOP.

JUST...

FUCK.

LISTEN, YOU KNOW...

THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED TO ME

BEFORE, KIT.

YOU ARE THE SEXIEST,

HOTTEST, BADDEST

MOTHERFUCKIN' HOT, SEXY BITCH.

THEN WHAT?

[SIGHING]

I GUESS...

I GUESS I'M NOT A LESBIAN.

[♪♪]

♪ GIRLS IN TIGHT DRESSES
WHO DRAG WITH MUSTACHES ♪

♪ CHICKS DRIVING FAST
INGENUES WITH LONG LASHES ♪

♪ WOMEN WHO LONG, LOVE,
LUST WOMEN WHO GIVE ♪

♪ THIS IS THE WAY IT'S
THE WAY THAT WE LIVE ♪

♪ TALKING, LAUGHING
LOVING, BREATHING ♪

♪ FIGHTING, FUCKING
CRYING, DRINKING ♪

♪ WRITING, WINNING
LOSING, CHEATING ♪

♪ KISSING, THINKING, DREAMING ♪

♪ THIS IS THE WAY... ♪

♪ IT'S THE WAY THAT WE LIVE ♪

♪ IT'S THE WAY THAT WE LIVE ♪

♪ AND LOVE ♪

OKAY, SLOW DOWN, SLOW DOWN.

HERE. PARK HERE.

OKAY. SHH...

SLOW DOWN.

ALL RIGHT.

SHIT.

[SHUTS MOTOR OFF]

WELL, I DID GET UP UNTIL...

THERE YOU GO.

YOU GOT IT? OKAY.

ALL RIGHT. PRETTY GOOD, RIGHT?

PRETTY GOOD?

[INDIFFERENTLY]: YEAH.

COME ON.

[LAUGHING]

I DIDN'T KILL YOU.

YEAH. SHIT.

THIS TIME.

OKAY, LISTEN, I HAVE
A REALLY GREAT IDEA

THAT I... WELL, I WANTED
TO SURPRISE YOU,

BUT I'M KIND OF TOO EXCITED.

I WANT TO TAKE YOU TO MEXICO.

MM...

I DO, BECAUSE I THINK
IT'D BE REALLY FUN,

BECAUSE THERE'S THIS GREAT SPA,

AND IT'S ON THE BEACH,

AND... AND WE COULD
RENT MOTORCYCLES...

AH, THAT SOUNDS...

REALLY EXPENSIVE, ALICE.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE MONEY.

YOU'VE GOT YOURSELF A DADDY.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

LIKE THE FIRST OF MAY,
WHEN MY WEBSITE'S DONE.

WOW. FIRST OF MAY?

THAT'S FAST.

OH, YOU'RE TOO FANCY, NOW.

MAX IS FAST.

I WISH I HAD HIM FULL-TIME.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

[SQUEALING]

ALICE, WATCH IT!

[SHOUTING]

[GUNFIRE]

FUCK YOU!

FUCK YOU, DYKE.

[TIRES SQUEALING,
ALICE SHOUTING]

FUCK, MY HAND.

TASH, YOU OKAY?

HEY. ARE YOU OKAY?

YEAH, I'M... SHIT,
I'M SORRY, COME ON.

ARE YOU OKAY?

OW. OW, MY HAND, MY HAND.

[SIGHING]

OH, GIRL. YOU OKAY?

YEAH, GIRL. GET SOMETHING, OKAY?

ALL RIGHT.

WHOA.

HAVE YOU READ THIS?

BETTE IS GOING TO BE PISSED.

FUCK BETTE.

SHE CAN KISS MY BLACK ASS.

ARE YOU...

ARE YOU INVOLVED WITH HER?

WHY IS EVERYBODY IN MY BUSINESS?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE DOING, KIT.

YOU'RE SO NOT A LESBIAN.

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW?

HMM?

I KNOW THAT YOU'RE DRINKING,

AND I KNOW THAT IF SHE CARED
HALF AS MUCH ABOUT YOU AS I DO

THAT SHE WOULDN'T LET YOU.

YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD
HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT

BEFORE YOU HAD THE NANNY'S
LIPS WRAPPED AROUND YOUR DICK.

[PILLS RATTLES]

[MURMURING AND LAUGHING SOFTLY]

[GIGGLING]

IS IT TRUE

THAT ONE OF THE
CHARACTERS IN THIS BOOK

IS BASED ON YOU?

WHO TOLD YOU THAT?

EVERYONE'S TALKING
ABOUT IT ON CAMPUS.

IT'S A CAUSE CELEBRE.

LET'S SEE.

"THE SEXUALLY PREDATORY,

EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE
BEV," THAT'S YOU,

"WHO USES HER
PROFESSIONAL STATURE

TO BED EVERY GIRL AND
WOMAN WHO CROSSES HER PATH"?

I HAVEN'T EVEN READ
THE FUCKING THING,

BUT I CAN'T IMAGINE

THAT IT HAS ANYTHING
TO DO WITH ME.

DID THIS UPSET JODI?

IS THAT WHY SHE'S LEAVING?

WHO SAID JODI'S LEAVING?

IT SAYS IT IN THE
MEMO THIS MORNING.

SHE'S BEEN...

CHOSEN TO CREATE A NEW SCULPTURE

AT THE FOREST REFUGE ART CENTER

IN MOUNTAINVILLE, NEW YORK,

THIS MARCH.

I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT.

DOES THIS MEAN

SHE'S NOT FINISHING
OUT THE SEMESTER?

YOU TELL ME.

WELL, IF THAT'S WHAT SHE WANTS.

I MEAN, I GUESS WE
SHOULD JUST LET HER GO

IF SHE'S NOT HAPPY HERE.

"ORIGAMI WITH STEEL."

THAT'S A NICE WAY TO
DESCRIBE HER WORK.

FOREST REFUGE ART
CENTER... IT'S A BIG DEAL.

I'M SURE SHE FEELS VERY HONORED.

PLEASE DON'T TELL ME
YOU'RE SPLITTING UP.

REMEMBER WHEN YOU
CAME TO MY HOUSE,

AND THE TWO OF YOU
WERE SO MUCH IN LOVE...

PHYLLIS... YOU TAUGHT
ME SO MUCH ABOUT LOVE.

PHYLLIS. PLEASE DON'T
TELL ME YOU'RE SPLITTING UP.

I WOULD RATHER
NOT TALK ABOUT IT.

OKAY?

[KNOCKING AT DOOR]

I HAVE ELI BROAD'S OFFICE
ON LINE ONE FOR YOU.

[SIGHS]

WELL, I JUST CAN'T WAIT
TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS

WITH BEV AND THE PLUMBER.

[SIGHS]

JAMES.

YEAH?

CAN YOU GET ME A COPY

OF THAT FUCKING BOOK, ASAP?

YEAH, AND MAKE SURE

YOU GET A COMP COPY.

I DON'T WANT TO
HAVE TO PAY FOR IT.

THESE NUMBERS ARE PROJECTED

FOR THE FOURTH QUARTER.

REALISTIC NUMBERS.

ALL RIGHT, TIME TO
GET STARTED, PEOPLE.

LET'S BEGIN WITH AN
UPDATE ON SPACE GATE.

THE NEXT STEP OF THE
SPACE GATE PROJECT

IS THE STABILIZER MODULE...

FOR THE NEOVECTOR
COMMUNICATION SATELLITE.

OUR PROJECT GOAL

IS TO INCREASE THE
MEAN ORBITAL ALTITUDE

BY 18%

AND THE ORBITAL VELOCITY BY 20%.

SWEENEY. WE'RE ALSO...

YOU'RE NOT ON THE
ACCOUNT ANYMORE.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

WE HAD TO REPLACE YOU.

MEGAN TOOK OVER.

I'VE BEEN ON SPACE
GATE FOR NINE MONTHS.

BRANDON STOPPARD AND I HAVE

A GREAT WORKING RELATIONSHIP.

YOU WENT ON A VACATION

DURING A CRITICAL TIME FOR THEM.

THEY HAD A CRISIS
WHILE YOU WERE AWAY.

IT WAS A NEAR DISASTER.

I WENT TO MY MOTHER'S FUNERAL.

BRANDON WAS REALLY HAPPY

WITH THE WAY
MEGAN SAVED THE DAY.

HE ASKED

THAT SHE TAKE OVER THE ACCOUNT.

IT WAS THE CLIENT'S REQUEST.

[EXHALES]

EXCUSE ME.

WHERE THE HELL DO YOU...

LEAVE IT BE.

MEGAN.

[♪♪]

[KNOCKING AT DOOR]

COME IN.

YOU WANTED TO SEE ME, SIR?

CLOSE THE DOOR.

I WANT YOU TO KNOW
THAT CERTAIN THINGS

HAVE COME TO MY ATTENTION.

THINGS THAT COULD HAVE

VERY SERIOUS
CONSEQUENCES FOR YOU.

NOW, YOUR LIFESTYLE
IS YOUR LIFESTYLE,

BUT I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT
OR HEAR ABOUT IT EVER AGAIN.

AM I CLEAR ON THAT?

VERY CLEAR, SIR.

OTHER SOLDIERS LOOK
UP TO YOU, WILLIAMS,

AND THEY DON'T NEED TO SEE IT

OR HEAR ABOUT IT EITHER.

I UNDERSTAND, SIR.

I'M NOT GOING TO
SUBMIT YOU FOR REVIEW.

HOPEFULLY NO ONE
ELSE WILL EITHER,

BUT YOU NEED TO BE MORE CAREFUL.

THIS HAPPENS AGAIN, I WILL
BE FORCED TO TAKE ACTION.

YES, SIR.

DISMISSED.

HEY, ALICE. IT'S MAX.

HEY, MAX.

LISTEN, WHAT DO YOU THINK
YOU COULD AFFORD TO PAY ME

IF I WORKED FOR YOU FULL-TIME?

WELL, I DON'T KNOW, MAX.

I MEAN, YOU MADE
THE BUSINESS PLAN,

SO YOU TELL ME.

YEAH, I CAN MANAGE.

YOU KNOW, I DON'T NEED
TO MAKE A LOT OF MONEY.

I JUST...

I NEED TO LIVE A DECENT LIFE.

IT'S VERY EXCITING.

I MEAN, I WAS JUST

TELLING TASHA THIS MORNING

THAT I WISHED THAT I HAD YOU.

YEAH, WE'LL GET TOGETHER,

WE'LL... WE'LL WORK IT ALL OUT.

HEY, HEY, HEY.

HEY!

OKAY, I'VE GOT TO GO. GOOD LUCK.

I THOUGHT YOU
TOTALLY DITCHED US.

I NEED YOUR HELP.

OKAY, DO YOU THINK
THAT THIS WATCH HERE

IS TOO, LIKE, FEMMY

FOR TASHA?

YEAH.

YOU DO? MM-HMM.

THOUGHT SO. FUCK.

WHICH ONE DO YOU LIKE?

WHAT, OUT OF THOSE?

YEAH. GIRLS?

UH, THIS ONE.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

I CAN'T DECIDE.

HOW MUCH ARE THEY?

I THINK YOU SHOULD UNDERWRITE

A THIRD WORLD COUNTRY INSTEAD.

WELL, CATHERINE'S BUYING THEM.

SHE'S GIVEN ME HER CREDIT CARD.

WE HAVE SOME EVENT

OR SOMETHING TO GO TO NEXT WEEK

WHEN SHE GETS BACK.

AND WHERE IS SHE NOW?

SHE'S IN GENEVA.

OH. GENEVA.

MM.

AND ALICE, I...

I AM GOING TO INVEST IN OURCHART

JUST AS SOON AS I
WIN BACK THE MONEY

THAT I LOST AT THE RACES.

HELENA, DON'T WORRY.

I REALLY DON'T
EXPECT YOU TO, LIKE...

I WANT TO. OKAY?

I'VE LEARNED MY LESSON NOW.

I SHOULD NEVER
HAVE RISKED MY MONEY

AT THE HORSE RACES LIKE THAT.

IT WAS STUPID.

WAIT, WAIT. I'M SORRY.

DID CATHERINE TELL YOU THAT?

YEAH, BUT SHE'S RIGHT.

OH, PLEASE!

IT WAS HER TIP ON THE HORSE.

YEAH, BUT I'M THE ONE WHO
SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER.

OH, PLEASE! THAT IS A SET-UP.

NO, IT'S NOT! DO
YOU BELIEVE HER?

THAT IS A SET-UP.

LOOK, SHE'S JUST
TRYING TO HELP ME

LEARN TO STAND ON
MY OWN TWO FEET.

THAT'S ALL SHE'S DOING.

NO, SHE'S NOT. REALLY?

REALLY? YOUR TINY LITTLE FEET?

[SIGHING]

SHE IS. I DON'T KNOW.

SHANE?

YEAH?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

NOTHING.

I'M JUST... TAKING A LOOK.

WHO IS THAT FOR?

WHAT, THIS? YEAH.

IS IT FOR PAIGE?

I DON'T KNOW, NANCY DREW.

FIGURE IT OUT.

SHANE, YOU'RE...

NO... ARE YOU SEEING
SOMEONE ELSE?

JESUS CHRIST! THE HARDY GIRLS.

FIGURE IT OUT.

ARE YOU UP TO YOUR OLD TRICKS?

OH, MY...

I FEEL VERY COMFORTED
BY THAT SOMEHOW.

I DON'T KNOW WHY.

[CELL PHONE RINGS]
OKAY, I'M ON TO YOU.

THIS PURSE THING.

CATHERINE.

WHAT TIME IS IT THERE?

BIRDIE LAMB?

NO, I DON'T THINK I DO KNOW HER.

THAT'S ALL VERY WELL,
BUT WHERE AM I SUPPOSED...

OKAY, I'LL SEE IF THEY
HAVE A ROOM FOR ME.

YES.

YES. OKAY.

WELL, I'LL GET...

I'LL GET OVER THERE RIGHT NOW.

MORE TOUGH LOVE?

YEAH, UM,

HER FRIEND, BIRDIE LAMB,

GETS INTO TOWN THIS AFTERNOON,

AND SHE SAID

THAT SHE CAN HAVE
HER HOTEL SUITE.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO STAY?

WHY DON'T YOU COME
STAY BACK WITH ME?

NO, ALICE, I CAN'T.

YOU'RE TOTALLY WELCOME.

ALICE, IT'S FINE, ALL RIGHT?

I DON'T WANT TO GET

IN YOURS AND TASHA'S WAY.

I...

YOU KNOW, I SHOULD
GET BACK THERE.

I'VE GOT TO GET MY STUFF OUT.

WE DON'T WANT
BIRDIE TO FEEL GUILTY

JUST BECAUSE SHE'S
PUTTING ME OUT IN THE STREET.

YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M GOING
TO GET BOTH OF THESE.

OH, AND SHE'LL TAKE
THE UGLY PURSE.

OH, AND SHE'S GOING TO
TAKE THAT UGLY WATCH.

AND WHY DON'T WE PUT IT
ALL ON CATHERINE'S CARD, EH?

EGOBOOST HAS A MARKET
EXPANSION STRATEGY

THAT THEY'RE RELYING ON
US TO HELP THEM IMPLEMENT.

THE TECHNOLOGY COMPONENT
IS IN THE EARLY STAGES,

AND WE'RE JUST AWAITING APPROVAL

ON THE FINAL PLANS.

WHAT NEXT WE'RE GOING TO

MOVE INTO IS THE...

SORRY TO INTERRUPT.

I JUST CAME TO SAY GOODBYE.

IT'S GOOD KNOWING YOU.

I'VE REALLY ENJOYED
BEING YOUR COLLEAGUE.

I'VE LEARNED A LOT FROM YOU.

THANK YOU

FOR EVERYTHING YOU'VE TAUGHT ME.

I WISH YOU CONTINUED SUCCESS.

GIVE MY BEST TO YOUR
WIFE AND YOUR KID.

PHYLLIS.

LEONARD. WHAT
ARE YOU DOING HERE?

WELL, I JUST WANTED
TO CONGRATULATE YOU.

CONGRATULATE ME ON WHAT?

ONCE AGAIN,

YOU HAVE TAKEN THE OLD

CONVENTIONAL
HETEROSEXUAL PARADIGM

AND TURNED IT ON ITS EAR.

PARADIGM?

I MEAN, CONVENTIONALLY, I
AM SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONE

WHO HAS THE MID-LIFE
CRISIS, GOES OFF, AND FINDS

A SASSY LITTLE GIRL HALF MY AGE.

ALICE IS NOT HALF MY AGE.

[CHORTLING]

OKAY, LOOK.

YOU KNOW, THE AFFAIR'S OVER,

YOU HAD YOUR LITTLE FLING

WITH YOUR CREAM-PUFF,

NOW I JUST WANT TO TELL YOU

THAT I FORGIVE YOU
AND I'LL TAKE YOU BACK.

LEONARD,

I THINK YOU'RE FORGETTING
ONE SMALL POINT.

ONE LITTLE PIECE OF...

NO, I'M NOT FORGETTING
ANYTHING, PHYLLIS.

I WAS THERE, I SAW THOSE GIRLS.

YOU'RE NOTHING LIKE THEM.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
"NOT LIKE THEM"?

I MEAN, I HONESTLY DON'T
THINK YOU'RE A LESBIAN.

REALLY?

I DON'T THINK

YOU KNOW WHAT THE
FUCK YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

AND STOP PSYCHOANALYZING ME.

I'M NOT PSYCHOANALYZING YOU.

YES, YOU ARE.

NO, I'M NOT. THAT'S BULLSHIT.

BUT LET'S GET REAL
HERE, ALL RIGHT?

MAYBE YOU HAVE SOME, UH...

SOME LESBIAN
TENDENCIES OR WHATEVER,

BUT IT'S NOT YOUR
COLLEGE DAYS ANYMORE...

WHAT IS A LESBIAN TENDENCY?

CAN YOU EXPLAIN THAT TO ME?

WELL, YOU KNOW,

EVERY TIME WE'VE SEEN A
MOVIE IN THE LAST 20 YEARS...

"OH, I LOVE SALMA HAYEK.

YOU KNOW, SHE
REALLY TURNS ME ON."

WHERE DID YOU GET THAT CRAP?

THAT'S WHAT YOU TELL ME.

I NEVER TOLD YOU...

OKAY, OKAY, NOW, JUST...

LET'S GET REAL HERE
FOR A MINUTE NOW.

IT'S A LITTLE LATE IN THE
GAME FOR YOU, PHYLLIS.

YOU'RE 58 YEARS OLD...

I AM NOT 58.

I'M 56!

LOOK AT YOUR DRIVER'S LICENSE...

WELL, YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR.

I AM A MAN!

SO WHAT?

LOOK...

NOBODY IS GOING TO
BE AS GOOD FOR YOU

AS I AM.

NOW THAT IS A FACT OF LIFE.

YOU REALLY WANT TO TAKE
ALL OF OUR LIFE TOGETHER

AND JUST THROW IT IN THE TOILET?

YES. I DO, LEONARD.

PHYLLIS, COME ON.

I WANT TO THROW
IT IN THE TOILET.

I WANT TO THROW YOU
IN THE TOILET RIGHT NOW.

BUT DO YOU THINK
THAT YOU'RE ACTUALLY

GOING TO GET ME
TO COME BACK TO YOU

BY INSULTING ME AND
EXALTING YOURSELF?

I DON'T CARE

IF I NEVER HAD A LOVER
FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

MY LIFE IS GOING TO
BE SO WONDERFUL

BECAUSE I KNOW WHO I AM

AND I'M BEING
HONEST WITH MYSELF.

DON'T YOU GET IT?

IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU.

YOU, WITH YOUR MALE EGO,
STOMPING AROUND HERE.

WHAT IS THE...

LOOK, YOU'RE JUST
SO THREATENED BY IT.

[KNOCK ON DOOR] OKAY...

EXCUSE ME, CHANCELLOR KROLL.

THE SELECTION COMMITTEE IS HERE.

OH, YES. YES, THANK YOU.

I'LL BE RIGHT WITH YOU.

YOU'RE LEAVING ME NO CHOICE.

OH.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "NO CHOICE"?

HI. HAVE A SEAT.

I HAVE TO CATCH UP WITH MY
EXPENSE REIMBURSEMENTS.

DO I HAVE ANYTHING
AFTER THE THESIS REVIEWS?

UH, YOU HAVE A CONFERENCE CALL

WITH CHANCELLOR
KROLL AND ELI BROAD

ABOUT THE MEDIA LAB BUILDING.

OH, SHIT! I'M SO NOT
PREPARED FOR THAT.

DO YOU WANT TO RESCHEDULE?

NO, YOU DON'T
RESCHEDULE ELI BROAD.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

ATTENDANCE

IS GOING TO SKYROCKET.

ALTHOUGH WE MIGHT LOSE

A FEW CHRISTIAN
FOLK ALONG THE WAY.

LEZ GIRLS... WAY TO GO, "BEV".

SO FUCKING UNACCEPTABLE.

IT'S UNACCEPTABLE.

[SIGHING]

HELLO?

TINA. HI, BETTE.

I'M SITTING HERE WITH
JENNY'S LITTLE FUCKING TOME,

WONDERING WHY YOU
DIDN'T GIVE ME A HEADS-UP.

WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?

IT DIDN'T EVEN OCCUR
TO ME TO TALK ABOUT IT.

I DON'T KNOW.

YOU'RE THE ONE THAT SAID...
YOU SAID IT WAS FLUFF, REMEMBER?

YOU SAID IT WAS
FRIVOLOUS ENTERTAINMENT.

WELL, I HADN'T READ
THE WHOLE BOOK.

LOOK, LOOK, IT'S NOT YOU.

IT'S A CHARACTER.

ALL IT IS IS A CHARACTER.

IT'S NOT YOU.

YOU'RE PERSONALIZING
IT WAY TOO MUCH.

NO, NO...

LOOK, NO, YOU'RE
NOT NARCISSISTIC.

IF ANYTHING, YOU'RE JUST A
LITTLE BIT OF A CONTROL FREAK,

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?

IT'S ENDEARING. IT'S ENDEARING.

EVERYBODY...

YOU KNOW WHAT? I HAVE TO GO.

I'M HAVING LUNCH
WITH MY DIRECTOR.

OH, YOU MEAN KATE ARDEN?

YOU'RE HAVING LUNCH
WITH KATE ARDEN?

ENJOY YOURSELF.

TWO PELLEGRINOS,
ACTUALLY, OVER AT THAT TABLE.

THANKS.

HI.

SUIT.

NICE.

THANKS.

[CHUCKLES]

HEY. LARRY KENNAR.

OH, SORRY.

THAT'S MY MANAGER.

HEARD A LOT OF GREAT
THINGS ABOUT YOU

FROM KATE.

SO HOW'S IT GOING WITH JENNY?

I CAN'T WAIT TO TAKE
A LOOK AT THE SCRIPT.

UM...

IT'S... IT'S... IT'S ALL RIGHT.

YOU KNOW, IT'S, UH...

LIKE, JUST...

[SIGHING]: A LITTLE
CHALLENGING AT TIMES.

LOOK, HERE'S THE DEAL, OKAY?

KATE'S DOING ALL THE WORK,

AND, YOU KNOW,

THIS WRITER'S
COMPLETELY INCOMPETENT,

I GOT TO TELL YOU.

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING
AGAINST JENNY.

SHE'S A GREAT NOVELIST,

SHE'S JUST REALLY NOT
A SCREENWRITER YET.

SHE DOESN'T THINK VISUALLY.

SHE DOESN'T KNOW STRUCTURE,

ALL OF HER CHARACTERS
SPEAK THEIR SUBTEXT,

AND SHE WRITES PAGE
AFTER PAGE OF DESCRIPTION

THAT JUST HAS NOTHING

TO DO WITH MOVING
THE STORY FORWARD.

SO YOU'VE READ IT.

OH, YEAH.

YOU SLIPPED HIM THE PAGES?

CAN YOU SLIP ME THE PAGES?

I'D LIKE TO TAKE A LOOK AT IT.

WELL, YOU KNOW, KATE
DID WRITE THE SCREENPLAY

FOR PANDORA'S FLIGHT. LARRY.

I'M NOT ANGLING TO WRITE THIS.

LOOK... I'M TALKING!

THAT'S NOT MY AGENDA.

SHE'S BEING SHY,
BUT HERE'S THE DEAL.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

WHETHER SHE'S
ANGLING FOR IT OR NOT,

JENNIFER SCHECTER

IS A COMPLETE WASTE OF HER TIME.

KATE'S GOT TOO MANY PROJECTS

TO MESS AROUND
WITH THIS, YOU KNOW?

YOU'VE GOT TO GET RID OF HER.

OKAY, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

I GET WHAT YOU'RE
SAYING, ALL RIGHT?

LOOK, SHE'S A FRIEND
OF MINE, ALL RIGHT,

AND SHE OWNS THE RIGHTS TO THIS.

THIS IS HER STORY.

IT'S VERY PERSONAL TO HER.

I LIKE JENNY.

YEAH, WELL, I THINK
JENNY LIKES YOU, TOO.

I JUST THINK THE
MOST IMPORTANT THING

IS THAT WE GO INTO THIS MEETING

WITH A REALLY STRONG
WORKING SCRIPT.

YEAH, I REALLY BELIEVE IN THIS.

I'M NOT GIVING UP
ON THIS OR ANYTHING.

AND I LOVE WORKING WITH YOU.

YOU KNOW, I THINK
WE COULD DO, UH,

GREAT THINGS TOGETHER.

AT THIS MIDPOINT OF MY PROJECT,

I'M FINDING THAT I'M RETHINKING

MY CORE CONCEPT.

I'M STILL EXPLORING
LANDSCAPE, BUT...

[DOOR OPENS]

I FOUND MYSELF

MORE DRAWN TO PAINTING.

ISN'T THE MIDPOINT A LITTLE LATE

TO BE RETHINKING
YOUR CORE CONCEPT?

THIS IS A SCULPTURE STUDIO.

[TOM]: THIS IS AN ART SCHOOL.

THERE'S VALUE

IN A STUDENT
DISCOVERING SOMETHING

HE WASN'T EXPECTING,

AND THERE'S ALSO
VALUE IN EVERYONE ELSE

LISTENING TO HIS PROCESS.

THIS IS A SCULPTURE STUDIO,

AND THIS IS A PAINTING THESIS.

I'D HAVE TO SAY THAT I AGREE.

I THINK IT WOULD
BE IRRESPONSIBLE

FOR YOU TO GO FORWARD
WITH THIS THESIS.

YOU'RE GOING TO NEED TO FIND

A SCULPTURAL INTERPRETATION,

ESPECIALLY SINCE YOUR ADVISOR

MIGHT BE LEAVING MID-SEMESTER.

[SIGHS]

I CAN TRY TO TAKE IT
INTO THREE DIMENSIONS.

IT JUST FELT LIKE AN ARTIFICE.

YOU KNOW?

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO PASS

THE SCULPTURE REVIEW BOARD

WITH A PAINTING.

I DON'T HAVE TIME TO DO IT OVER.

I'VE GOT, LIKE, A
HALF A SEMESTER LEFT

TO DO THIS?

COME ON, LOOK WHAT I DID.

LOOK AT ALL THIS.

[DOORBELL CHIMES]

HI.

HOW ARE YOU? HI, MY FRIEND.

GOOD TO SEE YOU.

I GOT IT...

I HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU.

IT'S A DAY EARLY, BUT, UH,

I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE MAD.

I KNOW IT'S NOT HIS BIRTHDAY,

BUT I KNOW HE WANTS IT, SO...

THIS IS FOR YOU.

THANK YOU.

OH, THAT'S SO SWEET.

AH, WELL, IT'S JUST
A LITTLE SOMETHING.

YOU LOOK GOOD.

THANK YOU.

SO DO YOU...

AS ALWAYS.

EL PANDA! AWESOME!

AND IT'S THE
SWEET-AND-SOUR EDITION,

AND THERE'S ONLY A
HUNDRED MADE, SO...

YOU'RE ONE OF THE LUCKY HUNDRED.

COOL!

HE IS UGLY.

SEE, THIS HAS THE WHOLE HISTORY,

RIGHT HERE.

LOOK AT THAT.

"DESPITE NOT
SPEAKING THE LANGUAGE

"AND ASSERTING THAT CHOP SUEY,

IS A TRADITIONAL DISH
OF MAINLAND CHINA..."

[SHANE AND JARED]:
"EL PANDA BELIEVES

"HE IS CHINESE.

HIS DISTORTED INTERPRETATION..."

[MUTTERING TO SELF]: IT'S NOT A
BIRTHDAY PRESENT OR ANYTHING,

BECAUSE TOMORROW'S
NOT HIS BIRTHDAY.

HEY, PAIGE,

I WAS HOPING I COULD
PICK HIM UP TOMORROW

AND TAKE HIM

TO THE THIRD STREET PROMENADE,

BECAUSE THEY HAVE
THIS NEW COLLECTION

OF THESE THINGS CALLED
SUBSERVIENT CHICKENS.

THEY'RE SO COOL.
YOU LIKE THEM, RIGHT?

YES. THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.

AND I WANT TO SHOW IT
TO HIM, IF YOU DON'T MIND.

WELL, YEAH, SURE,

JUST AS LONG AS YOU DROP
HIM AT HIS VIOLIN LESSON.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?
VIOLIN AND CHICKENS?

OKAY.

OKAY.

DOES HIS HEAD MOVE?

[JARED]: YEAH, MM-HMM. IT DOES.

IT'S KIND OF STICKY, THOUGH.

[NAIL CLIPS]

[NAIL CLIPS]

[SIGHING]

CAN YOU DO THAT IN ANOTHER ROOM?

CAN'T YOU GO SOMEWHERE ELSE?

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

KATE.

YEAH, I KNOW, I'M READING IT.

NO, I'M READING IT RIGHT NOW.

IT'S SO BAD. IT'S SO BAD.

[LAUGHING]: NO. WHAT?

NUH-UH. NO!

[LAUGHING]

YEAH.

REALLY?

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT.

WELL, NO, NO, I'D LOVE
TO GO OUT WITH YOU,

BUT, UH, I'M ACTUALLY, UH...

I TOLD HENRY I'D STAY IN.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHY I DID THAT.

TO FREEDOM.

FREEDOM.

[GLASSES CLINK]

♪ ...NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR ♪

♪ MY DEAR, I FEAR WE
CLEAR A MERE TEAR... ♪

I'M REALLY PROUD OF YOU.

I'M PRETTY PROUD OF MYSELF...

ACTUALLY.

♪ ...HAVE SEX WITH YOU? ♪

♪ NO THANKS I
ALREADY GOT A GIRL ♪

♪ NOT OUT TO FUCK THE WORLD
'CAUSE YOU THINK I'M A PERV ♪

♪ DESERVE TO SERVE, UNNERVED
NOT IMPERVIOUS TO HURT ♪

♪ I'M DIRT TO THE
DIRT BURIED IN EARTH ♪

♪ YOU'RE SCARED OF THIS BIRTH ♪

♪ IT CAME WITH A CURSE A
MAN WITH A PURSE, PUSS ♪

♪ OF COURSE I PUSH
BACK IF PUSHED FIRST ♪

♪ I ATTACK THE LACK OF
THOUGHT-OUT PLANS ♪

♪ AND WHITE MAN
POPPIN' BEER CANS ♪

♪ THEY FEAR TRANS WITH
OVERLY SUNTANNED NECKS ♪

♪ THAT'S WHY WE
STILL GET NO RESPECT ♪

♪ IF YOU DIDN'T
UNDERSTAND TRY TO ♪

♪ WOMAN OR A MAN NOT TRUE ♪

♪ I'M SOMETHING DIFFERENT ♪

♪ IF YOU DIDN'T
UNDERSTAND TRY TO ♪

♪ WOMAN OR A MAN NOT TRUE ♪

♪ I'M SOMETHING DIFFERENT ♪

♪ I TELL YOU WHAT I AM ♪

♪ A MAR ON THE GAY COMMUNITY ♪

♪ TO SOON FOR ME
TO PROMOTE UNITY ♪

♪ WHEN WE ONLY SEE AS
FAR IN FRONT AS A MIRROR ♪

♪ AND FEAR OR HATE
KEEP US IN OUR PLACE ♪

♪ TRY TO SAVE FACE
INSTATE GRACE ♪

♪ IN A RAT RACE ♪

♪ WHERE FREEBASE IS
BOUGHT BY THE CASE ♪

♪ ONCE YOU HAVE YOUR FIRST
TASTE YOU WON'T REMEMBER... ♪

TAKE IT OFF.

♪ ASK ME TO CONCENTRATE ♪

♪ BECOME A PRODUCTIVE
MEMBER OF SOCIETY ♪

♪ CALL ME AN INGRATE AND
LEGISLATE IN EVERY STATE ♪

♪ AND TELL ME NO
ONE'S LIED TO ME ♪

♪ BUT I TRIED TO
BE PROVIDE THE ♪

♪ GUIDE TO BE A
DECENT HUMAN BEING ♪

♪ DOESN'T LEAVE THE
PEOPLE FUMING AND FLEEING ♪

♪ AND DOOMING WITH
ME IN THE DRIVER'S SEAT ♪

♪ I'LL SURVIVE THE
HEAT REVIVE THE BEAT ♪

♪ ALIVE TO MEET ANOTHER
DAY CONNIVE DECEIT ♪

♪ AND FIND SOME OTHER WAY ♪

♪ TO DESTROY
SECOND-HAND NOTIONS... ♪

[MOANING SOFTLY]

♪ IF YOU DIDN'T
UNDERSTAND TRY TO ♪

♪ WOMAN OR A MAN NOT TRUE ♪

♪ I'M SOMETHING DIFFERENT ♪

♪ IF YOU DIDN'T
UNDERSTAND TRY TO ♪

♪ WOMAN OR A MAN NOT TRUE ♪

♪ I'M SOMETHING DIFFERENT ♪

♪ ARE YOU FORGETTING?
UPSETTING THE DELICATE BALANCE ♪

♪ I CHALLENGE VALIANT
VIOLENCE WITHOUT SILENCE ♪

♪ AND START GETTING
MY FRIENDS TO FORGET ♪

♪ WHY WE FENCED PAST-TENSE
PROGRESSIVENESS ♪

♪ THIS OBSESSIVENESS
MAKES DENSE TENSE ♪

♪ HENCE THE AGGRAVATED ♪

♪ I'M NOT MAD, JUST HATED ♪

♪ BERATED FOR WHAT
FATE DID DISASSOCIATED ♪

♪ JUST SUPPOSED TO
PLAY DEAD SIMON SAID ♪

♪ BUT I DON'T WANT
TO PLAY THIS GAME... ♪

UH-UH.

LET ME TOUCH YOU.

UH-UH.

I DON'T WANT TO.

DON'T HIDE FROM ME, MAX.

I WANT TO FEEL YOUR BODY.

IT'S NOT MY BODY.

I MEAN, IT'LL BE MY BODY
IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS

WHEN I GET THE SURGERY.

BUT YOU KNOW...

YOU WERE HOT FOR ME JUST NOW.

YEAH.

THAT WAS YOUR BODY.

IT FELT GOOD.

I DON'T FEEL
COMFORTABLE WITH IT.

I DO.

YOU DO?

YEAH.

I THINK YOU'RE SO HOT...

AND ALL I WANT TO DO
IS SUCK ON YOUR COCK.

YOU TURN ME ON SO MUCH.

WILL YOU LET ME?

[♪♪]

CAN YOU FEEL THAT?

YEAH.

IT FEELS GOOD, DOESN'T IT?

YEAH.

[GASPING]

[GASPING]

[MOANING SOFTLY]

I WANT YOU TO COME IN MY MOUTH.

[GASPING]

FUCK YOU, JENNY.

THIS IS COMPLETE AND UTTER
TOTAL FUCKING BULLSHIT.

I WOULDN'T SAY THAT.

NEVER.

THAT'S NOT EVEN
GRAMMATICALLY CORRECT,

YOU FUCKING IDIOT.

YOU'RE DEAD MEAT.

YOU'RE JUST DEAD FUCKING
MEAT, JENNY SCHECTER.

HEY.

HEY.

[EGGS SIZZLING]

CAN WE TALK?

OKAY.

I'M NOT HAPPY.

NOT HAPPY HOW?

I FEEL LIKE WE'RE
DRIFTING APART.

RIGHT.

OKAY.

DO YOU AGREE WITH ME?

YEAH, I MEAN, I... I GUESS.

I THOUGHT IT MIGHT
PASS, YOU KNOW.

I KNOW YOU'RE REALLY
BUSY RIGHT NOW,

ALL WRAPPED UP IN YOUR WORK.

WELL... I DON'T KNOW.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT
TO DO ABOUT IT.

IS THERE SOMEBODY ELSE?

NO.

NO.

IS IT A WOMAN?

[SIGHS SOFTLY]

YOU KNOW, IT'S...

IT'S NOT ABOUT HER.

WHO IS IT?

YOU KNOW WHAT?

THIS ISN'T ABOUT THAT.

THIS IS ABOUT US.

THIS IS ABOUT YOU AND ME.

FUCK.

I FEEL LIKE AN
ASSHOLE, YOU KNOW?

I MEAN, I JUST... I KNEW
THIS WOULD HAPPEN.

WHAT DOES THAT
MEAN, YOU KNEW IT?

COME ON, TINA!

ONCE A LESBIAN,
ALWAYS A LESBIAN.

WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING?

THAT WE LIKED EACH OTHER,

THAT WE WERE ATTRACTED
TO EACH ANOTHER,

THAT WE LIKED FUCKING.

YOU WERE SO COOL
WITH ME BEING A LESBIAN.

UNTIL YOU GOT WHAT YOU NEEDED,

AND THEN YOU WERE READY
FOR A CHANGE OF PACE.

ISN'T THAT HOW THIS
WORKS FOR YOU, TINA?

FUCK YOU.

NO, FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU.

THAT IS REALLY FUCKING UNFAIR.

WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?

WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?

I DON'T KNOW. NOTHING.

[SIGHS]

NOTHING. DO NOTHING.

THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE
GOING TO DO, RIGHT?

NOTHING.

[SIGHING]: WELL,
THEN, YOU KNOW...

I GUESS WE NEED
TO FIGURE IT OUT.

[SCOFFS]

FIGURE OUT WHAT?

FUCK IT.

THERE'S NOTHING TO
FIGURE OUT, IS THERE?

[PAN CLUNKS IN SINK]

FUCK.

♪ DREAM A LITTLE DREAM ♪

♪ A LITTLE DREAM FOR MY NIGHT ♪

♪ SMOKE A LITTLE SMOKE... ♪

[DOOR OPENS]

[DOOR CLOSES]

ALICE?

♪ ...THAT YOUR
VOICE IS TREMBLING ♪

♪ DREAM A LITTLE DREAM ♪

♪ A LITTLE DREAM FOR MY NIGHT ♪

♪ SMOKE A LITTLE MORE ♪

♪ A LITTLE MORE IN THE DARK ♪

♪ WHEN YOU TALK I JUST HEAR ♪

♪ THAT YOUR VOICE IS TREMBLING ♪

♪ DOO, DOO-DOO ♪

♪ DOO-DOO-DOO-DOO ♪

[WATCH TICKING]

♪ DOO, DOO-DOO... ♪

[TICKING]

[HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING]

[WOMAN SOBS]

YOU'VE GOT TO HOLD
YOURSELF TOGETHER.

[SOBBING]: BASTARD!

LISA, YOU'VE GOT TO
HOLD ON TO YOURSELF.

I CAN'T.

I'VE GOT TO GO HOME
AFTER ALL THIS, AND I...

[SOBBING]

I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO
GET TO SEE MY BABY...

NO, YOU'RE GONNA
GET YOUR BABY BACK.

[SOBS]

TRUST ME.

TRUST ME, TRUST ME, PLEASE.

[SOBBING]

NO COURT IS GOING
TO GIVE HIM CUSTODY.

OKAY? YOU'RE HER
MOTHER. YOU'RE HER MOTHER.

[SOBBING]

YOU'RE GOING TO GET HER BACK.

[SOBBING]

MEDIC!

MEDIC!

[THROWS WATCH DOWN]

[DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES]

TASH?

TASH!

WHAT THE FUCK?

[♪♪]

ALICE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

WHERE THE FUCK DID
YOU GO LAST NIGHT?

I CAN'T GET INTO THIS RIGHT NOW.

WELL, COULD YOU MAYBE RETURN

ONE OF MY FUCKING PHONE CALLS?

ALICE, I CAN'T DO
THIS, NOT HERE.

I WOULD LIKE TO TALK ABOUT
THIS, SO LET'S GO TO YOUR OFFICE...

NO, WE CAN'T GO TO MY OFFICE.

YOU'RE NOT EVEN
SUPPOSED TO BE ON THE BASE.

I'VE ALREADY BEEN
ON THE FUCKING BASE!

WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?

GOD, THEY FRICKIN' LOVE ME HERE.

LOOK, ALICE...

BROWN IS AFTER
ME, OKAY? ALL RIGHT?

HE REPORTED ME, AND IF
MY C.O. WASN'T SO COOL,

THEN HE COULD START
AN INVESTIGATION

AND I COULD GET CHAPTERED OUT.

FOR WHAT?

FOR HOMOSEXUAL CONDUCT.

YOU EVER HEARD OF THAT?

YEAH, WELL...

ALL RIGHT, I'M SORRY.

I... IS THAT WHY YOU
LEFT LAST NIGHT?

ALICE... BECAUSE YOU
COULD'VE JUST SAID.

PLEASE.

NOT HERE. PLEASE.

I CAN'T FU...

[CAR APPROACHING]

WHAT THE HELL'S HE LOOKING AT?

LOOK, ALICE,

PLEASE LEAVE, OKAY?

BETTE?

NO, ANYBODY...
ANYBODY CAN USE IT.

FEEL FREE.

MOM, YOU'RE NOT A
LESBIAN, YOU'RE MY MOTHER,

AND YOU DON'T JUST UP AND
DECIDE AFTER 25 YEARS OF MARRIAGE

THAT YOU WANT TO BE GAY.

SHE'S PART OF THE FAMILY.

SHE HAS A RIGHT TO KNOW
WHAT'S GOING ON WITH US.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU TOLD HER

WITHOUT CONSULTING
ME. HOW DARE HE TELL ME...

YOU'RE GOING TO
BREAK UP OUR FAMILY,

AND YOU'RE NOT EVEN
GOING TO TELL ME?

OF COURSE I'M
GOING TO TELL YOU...

WHAT'S DAD SUPPOSED TO DO?

WHO'S GOING TO TAKE CARE OF HIM?

WELL, I'M NOT A
NURSEMAID, MOLLY.

HE'S A GROWN MAN.

HE CAN TAKE CARE OF HIMSELF.

AND HE SHOULD NOT HAVE
BROUGHT HIS DAUGHTER

HOME FROM COLLEGE
IN THE MIDDLE OF...

DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME.

NOT THAT YOU EVER WOULD.

ALL YOU EVER THINK
ABOUT IS YOURSELF.

OH, MOLLY... IT'S TRUE!

WELL, JUST...

I WOULD DO ANYTH...

YOU'RE EVERYTHING TO ME.

I HAVE BUILT MY WHOLE
LIFE AROUND YOU.

THIS IS UNFAIR, LEONARD.

UNFAIR? WHO'S BEING UNFAIR HERE?

MOLLY...

YOU KNOW THAT I CARE MORE
ABOUT YOU AND YOUR SISTER

THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN THE WORLD.

NO, MOM, I DON'T, OKAY?

I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ANYMORE.

I CAN'T LIVE A LIE.

AND I LOVE YOUR FATHER...

HE'S THE MOST WONDERFUL
MAN IN THE WORLD...

BUT ONCE YOU
FINALLY FIGURE IT OUT,

WHO YOU ARE,

IT'S IMPOSSIBLE...

IT'S DEADLY TO IGNORE IT.

DEADLY? DEADLY?

IS THAT WHAT OUR LIFE
TOGETHER HAS BEEN? DEADLY?

YES, LEONARD.

SO TYPICAL OF YOU.

YOU ARE SUCH A DRAMA QUEEN.

GOD. GROW UP.

I'M SORRY, MOLLY.

I'M SORRY.

I'M SORRY IF I'VE
HURT YOU DEEPLY.

BUT I HOPE THAT SOME DAY

YOU CAN FIND IT IN YOUR HEART
TO WISH FOR MY HAPPINESS

THE WAY THAT I WISH FOR YOURS.

OKAY. I'LL GET ON THAT.

I'LL DIG REAL DEEP, OKAY?

I'LL GET BACK TO YOU.

LET'S GO, DAD.

BYE, MISS PALMER.

[PAIGE]: THANK YOU.

NO PROBLEM, PAIGE.

WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.

HI, HONEY. HOW WAS YOUR LESSON?

GOOD.

GOOD. I'LL TAKE IT.

I'M HUNGRY.

YOU'RE HUNGRY?

WELL, DO YOU WANT
TO GO OUT TO DINNER?

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY, AFTER ALL.

AW, I'M SORRY, MOM.

I FORGOT.

THAT'S OKAY, SWEETIE.

DID SHANE CALL YOU AND
WISH YOU A HAPPY BIRTHDAY?

NO.

SHE MUST HAVE FORGOTTEN, TOO...

BUT, UH, THAT'S OKAY.

I DIDN'T REALLY EXPECT
HER TO REMEMBER.

I ONLY MENTIONED IT ONCE, SO...

WHERE DO YOU WANT TO EAT?

THAT PLACE WE WENT WITH SHAY,

WHERE THEY HAD THE
REALLY GOOD FRENCH FRIES.

THE PLANET?

YOU WANT TO GO TO THE PLANET?

ALL RIGHT. LET'S
GO TO THE PLANET.

[BETTE SOBS]

I'M SORRY. FUCK.

I'M JUST... I'M SO SORRY.

IT'S OKAY, IT'S OKAY.

LOOK, IT'S OKAY TO CRY.

YOU CAN CRY WITH ME.

WHAT DO I DO WRONG, TINA?

WHAT DO I DO WRONG?

YOU DON'T DO ANYTHING WRONG.

NO, REALLY, I MEAN IT.

WHY IS IT SO FUCKING HARD

TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH ME?

LOOK, JUST TELL ME.

TELL ME EVERYTHING THAT I DID

TO MAKE YOU RUN FROM ME.

I'M BEGGING YOU. PLEASE.

[EXHALING]

YOU'RE A CONTROL FREAK.

[LAUGHS]

YOU ARE!

SO?

THAT'S FUCKING RIDICULOUS.

EVERYBODY'S A CONTROL
FREAK SOMETIMES.

THAT'S WHAT YOU HAVE
TO DO TO GET THINGS DONE.

YEAH, BUT YOU THINK YOUR
THINGS ARE MORE IMPORTANT

THAN EVERYONE ELSE'S,

AND THAT'S REALLY, REALLY
HARD IN A RELATIONSHIP.

WHEN YOUR WORK,
YOUR NEEDS, YOUR IDEAS

ARE ALWAYS RIGHT,
ALWAYS ON A HIGHER PLANE...

YOU'RE MORE ENLIGHTENED,
YOU'RE MORE INFORMED,

YOU'RE MORE INTUITIVE...

IT MUST HAVE BEEN HIDEOUS.

I'M SORRY.

[VOICE BREAKS]: I'M SORRY.

I'LL TAKE IT OVER
THE SAFE, BORING MAN

I'VE BEEN SEEING ANY DAY.

YOU WOULD?

YOU MET YOUR MATCH.

I THINK YOU MET
YOUR MATCH IN JODI.

SHE'S AS STRONG AS YOU ARE.

IT'S UP TO YOU.

CAN YOU HANDLE IT?

WHAT ABOUT KATE ARDEN?

WHAT?

WHAT...

KATE ARDEN.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

T...

WHAT?

KATE ARDEN. COME ON.

WHAT ABOUT HER?

WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?

I MEAN...

WHAT ABOUT KATE ARDEN?

OKAY. SHE'S ATTRACTIVE.

I'M ATTRACTED TO HER.

JUST...

SHE'S HOT.

SHE'S SMART.

IT'S CRAZY.

SHE'S NOT INTERESTED IN ME.

SHE'S INTERESTED.

THINKING ABOUT ME.
SHE'S INTERESTED.

WHAT?

I'M NOT READY.

I WANT TO BE ON MY OWN.

BESIDES, THAT'S MESSY.

THAT'S REALLY MESSY.

I'M WORKING WITH HER.

THAT'D BE UNPROFESSIONAL.

AND NOW I'M GOING TO
HAVE TO FIRE JENNY...

[GROANS]

WHICH IS COMPLETELY
HORRIFYING TO ME.

FUCK JENNY! I KNOW.

JUST FUCK JENNY, PLEASE.

SHE DESERVES TO BE FIRED.

I'LL FUCKING FIRE HER FOR YOU.

WOULD YOU? YES, HAPPILY.

SHE'S FUCKING DRIVING ME CRAZY.

BITCH.

[SIGHING]

I JUST WAS STARTING TO
DO SO WELL ON MY OWN.

FUCKING JODI.

FUCK.

I'M NOT SURPRISED

THAT YOU'RE RUNNING FROM HER.

YOU FINALLY MET SOMEONE WHO
WON'T PUT UP WITH YOUR SHIT.

YOU NEVER PUT UP WITH MY SHIT.

WHAT?

[CHUCKLES]

RIGHT. OKAY.

DO YOU REALLY THINK
I'M RUNNING FROM HER?

YEAH, I THINK YOU'RE RUNNING.

YOU'RE SCARED.

SHE'S AS ACCOMPLISHED
AS YOU ARE.

SHE'S AS OPINIONATED.

SHE'S AS POWERFUL.

[SIGHING HEAVILY]

AND YOU GUYS,

YOU HAVE THIS INCREDIBLE ENERGY

BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU.

I COULD FEEL IT
FROM 10 FEET AWAY.

IT SUCKED.

IT WAS REALLY HARD FOR ME.

[♪♪]

THE PIMPS AND THE HOS?

[LAUGHING]

[HELENA]: I LEFT MY
DAMN TOILETRIES BAG

IN CATHERINE'S HOTEL SUITE,

AND I CAN'T GO BACK AND GET IT,

BECAUSE THAT FUCKING
OLD LADY'S THERE.

GREAT STORY...

I WAS STAYING AT
A FRIEND'S HOUSE,

AND EVERY TIME

SHE BROUGHT A GIRL HOME,

SHE USED TO KICK ME OUT!

REALLY? YEAH!

FASCINATING.

THAT WAS A GREAT STORY.

[LAUGHING]

WHAT IS IT?

WHAT?

I THINK THAT SHE'S FUNNY,

AND SHE'S KIND OF BRILLIANT.

WHO, ME?

HUH? NO, WE WEREN'T
TALKING ABOUT YOU.

ALICE, WHERE'S TASHA?

I DON'T KNOW.

SHE'S HAVING A "DARK NIGHT".

DON'T ASK ME WHAT
THE FUCK THAT MEANS.

IT'S THE MILITARY TERM

FOR WORKING AT NIGHT.

OH, HONEY.

THERE'S A SPECIAL
SHOW ON TONIGHT.

WE MIGHT HAVE TO
GO SOMEWHERE ELSE.

NO.

I DON'T THINK WE'RE
GOING TO BE ABLE

TO GET IN, YOU KNOW?

LOOK AT ALL THESE PEOPLE.

THEY PROBABLY
HAVE SPECIAL SEATS.

HEY, PAIGE, HOW YOU DOING?

GOOD.

ARE YOU HERE TO
SEE GOLDFRAPP, GIRL?

GOLDFRAPP?

YEAH! HERE?

YEAH, HERE, GIRL.

THEY'RE ABOUT TO START, GIRL.

THEY'RE ABOUT TO START.

OH, MY GOSH, I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW.

YEAH, YEAH, SO WHY DON'T
YOU COME ON IN AND GET A TABLE.

WE GOT ONE FOR YOU.

OH, YOU DO? YEAH.

I'M SURE SHE'LL LOVE IT.

YEAH.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

OH, MY GOD.

WHAT, YOU THOUGHT I FORGOT?

I DID THINK YOU FORGOT!

OH, THAT'S SO SWEET...

I WOULDN'T HAVE FORGOTTEN.

NEVER, NEVER.

YOU'RE GREAT. OH, MY GOD.

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]

HI, HOW'S IT GOING?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

THANK YOU.

[WOLF-WHISTLING]

[TOM INTERPRETING]: THANK YOU.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

I AM JUST... I'M IN AWE.

THIS HAS BEEN AN AMAZING
EXPERIENCE FOR ME.

YOU ARE ALL INSPIRED
AND INSPIRING.

YOU ARE VERY FORTUNATE

TO BE A PART OF THIS
AMAZING INSTITUTION

AT SUCH A DYNAMIC TIME.

YOU ARE IN VERY GOOD HANDS

WITH DEAN PORTER.

SHE IS A PERSON

WITH THE MOST
PASSION AND CONVICTION

OF ANYONE I HAVE EVER MET.

I KNOW THAT SHE HAS
MADE A BIG DIFFERENCE

IN MANY OF YOUR LIVES.

SHE CERTAINLY HAS MADE

A BIG DIFFERENCE IN MINE.

I HAVE NO DOUBT THAT
SHE WILL CONTINUE

TO PUSH THE
BOUNDARIES OF YOUR LIVES

AS WELL AS WHAT THIS
SCHOOL HAS TO OFFER.

AS SOME OF YOU ALREADY KNOW,

I HAVE BEEN OFFERED

A GREAT OPPORTUNITY

TO CREATE AN OUTDOOR PIECE

FOR THE FOREST
REFUGE ART CENTER.

I'LL BE IN GREAT COMPANY...

WITH DAVID SMITH, ALICE AYCOCK,

AND SANDRA MAYO.

THEY ARE ALL WONDERFUL ARTISTS.

I LOOK VERY FORWARD TO IT.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING.

[APPLAUSE]

[♪♪]

♪ NOW TAKE ME
DANCING AT THE DISCO ♪

♪ WHEN YOU BUY ♪

♪ YOUR WINNEBAGO ♪

♪ I WANNA RIDE ON
A WHITE HORSE ♪

♪ I WANT TO RIDE
ON A WHITE HORSE ♪

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU
PULLED THIS OFF.

♪ WHEN THE LIGHT
TURNS INTO DARKNESS ♪

♪ WILL HE TURN
UP TO EXPLAIN US ♪

♪ I WANNA RIDE ON
A WHITE HORSE ♪

♪ I WANT TO RIDE
ON A WHITE HORSE ♪

PAPI, UM, HAVE YOU
TALKED TO TASHA?

I'M JUST KIND OF
WORRIED ABOUT HER.

I WAS WONDERING IF
SHE'S TOLD YOU ANYTHING.

REALLY...

YOU GUYS GOT TO TALK, ALL RIGHT?

OKAY.

♪ OH, OH... ♪

♪ WHEN IS THERE EVER SENSE ♪

I THINK THAT SHE
SHOULD PLAY JESSIE.

THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.

COME ON, I SERIOUSLY THINK...

LOOK AT HER.

I'M SERIOUS.

THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.

OH, SHUT UP.

[♪♪]

♪ I LIKE DANCING AT THE DISCO ♪

♪ I WANT BLISTERS ♪

I'M GOING TO...

I'M GOING TO GO WATCH HER.

ALL RIGHT.

HEY, KIT!

HAVE A BUMP!

NO, IT'S SHIT!

EXACTLY.

[SNORTING]: WHOO!

THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

MM!

OH, YES!

THAT'S SWEET!

ONE MORE TASTE ONE
MORE TASTE FOR THE ROAD.

I'M SOLD OUT, MAMA.

FUCK YOU,
MOTHERFUCKER! FUCK YOU!

[♪♪]

♪ OH, OH ♪

♪ WHEN IS THERE EVER SENSE... ♪

I'M REALLY, REALLY FUCKED UP.

I'M...

SO FUCKED UP.

WHAT ARE YOU
GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?

I GOT TO GO TO A
MEETING TOMORROW.

I GOT TO...

[SNIFFS]

WOULD YOU DRIVE ME?

WOULD YOU TAKE ME
TOMORROW, PLEASE?

[♪♪]

♪ I WANNA RIDE ON
A WHITE HORSE ♪

♪ I WANT TO RIDE
ON A WHITE HORSE ♪

♪ I WANNA RIDE ON
A WHITE HORSE ♪

♪ I WANT TO RIDE
ON A WHITE HORSE ♪

♪ I WANNA RIDE ON... ♪

[SCREAMING AND CHEERING]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PAIGE!

[LAUGHING]

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

HI, BETTE. HI.

THIS IS KAT.

HI.

YOU MISSED

A REALLY BEAUTIFUL
SPEECH TONIGHT.

IT WAS VERY MOVING.

JODI SAID BEAUTIFUL
THINGS ABOUT YOU.

REALLY FANTASTIC.

WHERE... WHERE IS SHE?

YOU KNOW, I THINK
SHE'S GONE ALREADY.

OH, SHIT.

DO YOU KNOW WHERE SHE IS?

I KNOW YOU THINK I'M
THE ASSHOLE OF LIFE,

BUT SHE'S NOT RESPONDING
TO ANY OF MY MESSAGES.

THAT'S PROBABLY BECAUSE
SHE'S ON AN AIRPLANE.

YOU'RE KIDDING.

NOPE.

SHE TOOK A RED-EYE.

I TOLD HER I'D PACK
HER STUFF AND SHIP IT.

SHE'S ON HER WAY TO NEW YORK.

[SIGHS]

[♪♪]

♪ I LOVE YOU ♪

♪ STEEL PAINTED EYES ♪

♪ FEELS LIKE SNOW ♪

♪ CHANGE MY HEAD ♪

♪ DAYS SO LONG ♪

♪ YOU NEVER KNOW
YOU NEVER KNOW ♪

♪ YOU NEVER KNOW ♪

♪ YOU NEVER KNOW
YOU NEVER KNOW ♪

♪ YOU NEVER KNOW... ♪

[GASPS]

OH, MY GOD.

TASHA.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

THE WATCH IS REALLY BEAUTIFUL.

I'M SORRY I CAN'T ACCEPT IT.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
YOU CAN'T ACCEPT IT?

BECAUSE OF WHAT
HAPPENED TO LISA.

HER HUSBAND GAVE HER THIS WATCH.

IT WAS ALL INSCRIBED,

AND IT SAID THAT HE'D
LOVE HER FOREVER.

AND THEN WHEN SHE WAS OVER THERE

RISKING HER LIFE,

HE LEFT HER FOR SOME
NEIGHBOR OR SOMETHING.

WELL...

HE'S A FUCKING ASSHOLE.

HE TOOK THEIR DAUGHTER,

AND HE SAID IN HIS LETTER
THAT LISA WAS A BAD MOTHER

BECAUSE SHE LEFT HER
TO GO FIGHT IN A WAR.

WELL, I'M SURE SHE
GOT HER DAUGHTER BACK

WHEN SHE CAME BACK
FROM IRAQ, RIGHT?

[SIGHING]

LISA'S NEVER

GOING TO GET HER
LITTLE GIRL BACK, ALICE.

SHE AIN'T NEVER
COMING HOME FROM IRAQ.

FUCK.

THIS WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN.

I WASN'T GOING TO
FALL FOR ANYBODY

WHILE I WAS BACK.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
WHILE YOU WERE BACK?

ARE YOU GOING SOMEWHERE?

MY ORDERS CAME DOWN.

MY UNIT'S BEING
MOBILIZED BACK TO IRAQ.

I'M LEAVING IN TWO WEEKS.

[♪♪]

[♪♪]

YEAH.