The L Word (2004–2009): Season 5, Episode 1 - LGB Tease - full transcript

Jim, please, don't leave me in the room
with all of these.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Jesse?

Can I get you a drink?
Marguerita?

Strawberry dykequiri?

Uh, I'm... I'm...

I actually see my boyfriend Jim.
So,

I'm gonna go.
Excuse me.

Wow, she is something.

- Um, um, she is fucking hot.
- Do you think she could be...

No, no, no.
Too pretty, too feminine.



I don't know, I'd be happy to...

taste the fruit?

Peel it, section it
and squeeze the juice with her.

Get in line, sister.

I'm sorry, baby.

As long as you share her with me.

We'd love the preschool art curriculum.
We want

Angelica to grow up surrounded by art.

We want art to be part
of her everyday experience.

I mean, essentially,
our house is a gallery

and we have a collection
that we rotate weekly

so that she can be acquainted
with as many artists as possible.

- How wonderful for Angelica.
- Yeah.

Hello. Hi! We had a nice time
in playing group, didn't we Angie?



Angie put together the cow jumps
over the moon puzzle.

- Oh, she loves puzzles.
- You know, we actually have

a "Woman In The Wood" puzzle
that was made especially for Angie by

the artist Julia Condon.
She's one of our favorite artists.

Isn't auntie Julia
one of our favorite artists, sweet pea?

- Yeah, playing. Yes, you're playing.
- That's wonderful.

Does one of you have
a deaf family member?

We have a friend who is deaf
and she just

- picked it up from her.
- Yeah.

We think she's an aptitude for languages.

- Yeah. She knows "Fr?re Jacques" by heart.
- Yeah!

I'm so sorry. Its just,
its just slept out. I...

Look, I think it works in our favor
that we're a lesbian family.

You know, I think we scored
diversity points for that. I just...

I don't think they're ready
for a divorced lesbian family,

- you know?
- Yeah.

What? Do you think it was alright for us
to let them think that we're

still together? I mean...

I think it was a little white lie
told for the greater good.

Oh shit. They're here.

- Hi.
- Hey girls.

It's like we're
on the same preschool party circuit.

- How was your interview?
- Great.

- Fantastic.
- It was really great.

You think we stand a good chance?
Firstable,

Ed is a christian, and I'm muslim,
and Lucas is adopted.

He's half jewish, a quarter latino
and a quarter chinese.

Well, I think we probably have
a pretty good shot. I mean,

biracial daughter, lesbian moms,
it's gotta be an itch somewhere.

Rowena, she loves that
Jamal teaches english as a second language.

- You spoke with Rowena?
- Yeah, we met her last summer

at Geffen's party.

She wants David on the board
and she knows we're close with him.

She told us not to even bother
with the director of admissions.

Rowena makes all the decisions.
But I'm sure you know that.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Anyway, good luck, and, good luck.

- Thanks.
- Bye, Lucas.

- "Listen Up" by The Gossip -

So I finally reach
some secretary who was like,

"Mrs. Peabody is abroad

and doesn't want to be reached
unless it's a total emergency".

Didn't you say her daughter's in jail?

I said
"I know Mrs. Peabody's a broad.

And not a very classy one".
Hey, Phyllis, you're ready?

- Can we do this?
- Yeah. How does my makeup look?

I don't want to wear too much lipstick
and look like one of those lipstick lesbians.

- No, you're a total stone butch.
- Stone Butch!

I'm studying the lingo.

- Oh, good for you.
- Whether you're a stone butch or a lipstick lesbian,

you're looking pretty foxy, Phyllis.

Alright, girls, good luck today.

- Thanks again.
- You got it.

Hey, where you're going?
You can't go yet.

No, no, I have to.
Paige found an appartment,

I feel like we're gonna sign a lease.

See you. I'll come visit you later though, Kit.
I promise.

Great. Please, somebody,
tell me she ain't gonna go through this.

- I think it's a disaster.
- What's a disaster?

Shane's moving in with Paige and her son.
They're signing the lease today.

- That's wonderful.
- When I see her and Paige together,

I don't see Shane on fire.

But you can't tell a book
by its cover. I mean,

- look at me and Joyce.
- Save that for the podcast.

- Max, are you ready?
- Yeah.

We are rolling.

- "Thrills and Chills" by Helene Smith -

Hello!
Welcome to "Alice in Lesbo Land".

It's a biweekly podcast

for bisexual and saphically inclined ladies,
and their friends.

And we're coming to your life
from The Planet, here, in West Hollywood.

I'm Alice Pieszecki
and my guest today is Phyllis Kroll.

She's a... a beautiful and

and accomplished senior
vice chancelor of California University.

And she's gonna tell us today
about coming out.

And, shall we say, mid-life.

How do you do?
Helena Peabody.

I don't expect
I'll be here very long.

Yeah, we've been trying
to get hold of my mother.

You see? Otherwise I won't be here at all.
You know, I'm...

I'm sure that

as soon as we get in touch with her,
I'd hope...

That's my bunk.

Yeah...

Oh, but now I have a new love.

- Right, your lady love, Joyce.
- Yes.

She's really wonderful.
We have so much in common.

Opera, ballet, the arts, philosophy,
and the sex.

Sex is...

the best ever.

Well, ever... I mean,

they say your coming-out

affair is usually the most unforgettable.

Oh, that was kindergarten.
Preschool!

Compared to what Joyce and I are doing?

The work I am doing with Joyce
is more like a post-graduated thesis, you know.

But, uh, listen. You were...

- I am listening.
- You were sweet.

- Sweet? I was sweet?
- Yeah, a little vanilla.

- A little vanilla.
- What's...?

- Vanilla? Really? Vanilla?
- Vanilla sex.

Conventional sex.

What the culture regards as standard
or regular sex.

I know Vanilla.
I know what that means.

So, have you guys

- u-hauled?
- U-hauled?

Yeah, a lesbian ritual.
You date for

a couple of weeks maybe,
and then you

- rent a u-haul, and you move in.
- U-hauled...

That's a good one.

U-hauled...

So 2G is definitively the best unit
in the complex.

It's the closest to the pool.

Jared's gonna be so excited
about the swimming-pool.

It's cute here.

We'll talk about it and uh...

let you know by the end of the day.

Okay, cool. But I...
can't hold it any longer than that.

Oh, you don't have to.
I just, I have to

take care of little business things
and...

- Lisa Pantolini says to say hi.
- Oh Lisa? Really?

Well, give her my best,
that I say hi back.

Who's that?

She's a girl I used to know.

- ... back one.
- I know Lacey as well.

- Oh, you know Lacey, of course.
- Yeah. And I know Brandi Delaney.

- And Megan.
- Brandi Delaney...

Oh, yeah, Brandi,
and Megan, oh yeah, Megan too. Yeah.

- You've got a long history!
- No, it's not too long.

Lacey could not believe it
when I told her that

you're moving in with someone.

How long have you two been together for now?

- Not long.
- Five and half months.

Well, she stills talks about you
all the time, Shane.

I don't think she ever got over you.

She'll be okay, but I'm sorry
to hear that.

No, you're not.

Alright. I gotta go pick up Jared at school.

So, um...

can you show me
where the garage is so I...

Of course I can.

- Thank you.
- Yeah, it's just

- right over here.
- Yeah?

So I bet the CU LGBT student union

is very thrilled
that their EVC is in the club, huh?

Have you paid them a visit?

No, I'm actually a little embarrassed
because

I'm not sure
what the "T" stands for.

Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual.

- Tentative?
- Good one.

Sorry guys,
I've got to change the tape.

And "T" is for trannies.

- Trannies?
- Yeah, like Max.

Transgendered.

You know,
people who have changed their

sexes from

male to female or from female to male.

It's very interesting.

Have you actually have
the sex change operation?

Well, I did go to San Fransisco,

to get top surgery.

- Top surgery?
- To get the top off.

But uh,

I just decided not to go through with it.

Yeah, why? 'Cause you were
so ready to do it.

I guess... I mean,
I thought a lot about it,

and it's a really personal decision.

And the fact is that
you can lose sensation in your nipples, so

I decided I don't want to risk that.
I mean, for some guys,

they don't feel themselves,
like, fully male

unless they can have a male-contoured chest

and be able
to take their shirts off and stuff.

But for me, I guess,

in the end, I decided
that I felt enough of a guy as is,

and, without the surgery. So...

That is fascinating.
I had no idea.

You know, I feel like we're getting
a little off-topic here for OurChart.

Why is it off-topic?

Well, I mean,
OurChart's for lesbians.

I thought OurChart was for everybody.

It's "OurChart". I mean,
doesn't that suggest it's inclusive?

Well, sure, Max.

I mean, it's a little technical, but yeah,
it's for everybody.

- Alice!
- What?

- It's your soldier girl.
- Tasha!

Hi! Sorry.
Hi! How are you?

- Let me know if you need anything.
- Oh yeah, baby.

I miss you already.

Look, I can't really talk right now.
I just wanted to hear your voice.

So, how is it going?

Are you ready to
ship out to Irak?

Yeah, I'm ready.

Williams!

Look, I gotta go.

I love you.

Yeah, me too.

Say it.

I love you too, baby.

Okay, I'll call if I can. Alright?

Bye.

Bella Christina, right?
It's not her name?

- Yeah, no call back.
- And you didn't get a letter?

- No.
- Are you sure?

Hey, good morning!

Did anybody get a postcard from Jenny?

- Oh no, Jenny.
- I did.

Where?! China, I hope.

Playa Del Carmen.
That's not nearly far enough away.

Speaking of Jenny, guys,
I gotta go.

I've got a production meeting
for "Lez Girls".

With Kate?

Kate got fired.

- Why?
- William Halsey hated her movie.

- Who?
- This hedge fund billionaire

who's financing our next three projects.

He doesn't know anything
about the movie business.

He just flew in on his private jet

and now Aaron
is in full ass kiss mode.

- Well, that's the movie bussiness for you.
- Yeah. I hate it.

Are you sure you don't mind
watching Angie for me while I

- get everything right for Jodi?
- Are you kidding me?

There's nothing I like better than just
hanging out with my lone niece.

Besides, I'm the one responsible
for you not having a manny.

So, when is Jodi coming back?

Tomorrow night.

Have you heard from Angus?

I told him I didn't wanna hear from him.

It's the only way I can do it.
You know, I need a clean break.

You know,
Alice looks so upset over there.

Fuck! Alice really does not need
to go through this again.

Excuse me.

Oh mom, it's awesome!
We're right by the pool!

Great! I'm gonna call Shane
and tell her that you like it

and then we can sign the lease.

I might even learn to cook.

Right.

And,

a huge bathroom,

a master bedroom...

Can I go swimming?

After we move in.

Honey, come on here,
we'll get your bedroom.

Hi. Hi!

Can I see my bedroom now?

There's no point, honey.
It's already been rented.

Hi, I'm late.

...my retreat where I can float

through the ocean of life,
you can say.

Monsieur,

you have to tell Aron

about how you came up with the manatee

while we were swimming
with your set of dolphins at Xel Ha.

William, William.
Please meet Tina Kennard.

She's the development head here in Shaolin.

- Executive Vice President, actually.
- Nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you.
- Hi, Tina.

Hi Jenny. You look great.
Very tan.

- I love that scene by the way.
- Which one?

- The manatee scene.
- Oh, thanks.

But, you know what I really love
is the scene at the party.

Jesse get separated from her boyfriend,

and Nina walks up, and totally hits on her.
It's fantastic!

Wonderful.

- Thank you.
- Nina hits on Jesse? Is that

- a new scene?
- I rewrote the script

while I was in Tulum
and that's where I,

I just ran into Monsieur.

Everybody knows.
I have a very nice villa in Tulum and

the lovely Jenny was my guest there.

And while our lovely Jenny
was William's guest in Tulum, she did

a fantastic rewriting on "Lez Girls".
And she did it on spec.

What was I going to do?
I was,

- I was fired from my own movie.
- Well, it's that kind of initiative

that is inspiring.

I can't wait for you to read this.
Tina, it's fantastic.

- I'm excited!
- Yeah, I think Jenny

has a very special insight into this world.
A certain kind of vision.

That's the reason why
she's the only person

who could possibly direct the venture.

Directing? "Lez Girls"?

Oh my god! Look who's here!
Just give him to me.

Look who I want you to meet!

What is... What's this on his head?

These are... This is Mauve.

- This is not orange.
- I know.

The groomer ran out of orange,
so we thought we would...

No. No, no. I don't pay you to think.

Do I Sounder? Do I pay her to think?

He hates you.

So take him back to the groomers now

and get orange ribbons
so that he can like you again.

- That's it.
- They don't have...

Who's that?

Oh, that's Marissa, Jenny's assistant.

Since when does Jenny have an assistant?

That's not help. That's sabotage.

Wow!

Really?

Oh, baby, believe me
when I say "Wow".

After all the fabulous women you've had ?

Oh, they're pale in comparison.

You can compare them if you want to,
at your party tomorrow.

I'm nervous.

I mean, I've been to hundreds of parties.

I wine and dime billionaires
and Nobel Laureates.

Oh, there'll be a Noble laureate
at your coming-out party.

But think there is
all these wonderful women out there...

And you are so wonderful
to give me this wonderfull party.

Have you thought about my proposition?

Oh, that the two of us should
U-haul together?

U-haul?!

- Where did you pick that up?
- Well, I'm not a complete naif, you know.

Oh, certainly not.

Hey!

- Hey.
- How did it go?

Well, she uh...

wouldn't even answer the door.

Yeah, she just maybe needs some time.

Fuck it.

I just don't want Shay to find out.

- You look nice.
- Well, thank you.

- Honey...
- How are you doing, missy?

Shit!

You know what? I'm...
I'll see you tomorrow.

Bette, Bette, Bette, please.
I beg you to wait here one minute.

One minute, no longer. Just one minute.

Get off the phone, bitch!

Okay, I'll call you back. Bye.

- You look like a...
- I don't know.

- I missed you.
- I want you to meet someone.

This is Bette.

- Bette, I want you to meet Jenny.
- Hello, Bette.

Hello, Jenny.

Oh, come on, you fuckers,
be friends, please.

We're neighbors;
we've known each other for a while.

I never thought
that Bette and I weren't friends.

We'll see.

Okay?

Okay, Marissa. I need you to

pick up my dry-cleaning today.
And, oh!

Don't tell me that you've missed

the same day delivery drop off time

because I need it back
for 5 o'clock tonight

'cause my fabulous dress
is in the dry-cleaning, huh, huh?

Oh, yes, oh hang on.
I'm not done.

I actually will need you,
just a second,

will need you to pick me up
for the party this evening.

I never thought that this was
a five day a week job.

Well, if you want to be
my assistant on sunday,

- then... Oh, hi!
- Hi.

Then you are going
to pick me up today, saturday.

Great. Thank you so much.
Bye.

- Hi, Tina.
- How are you?

I brought you some coffee and

- croissants.
- Oh, I don't eat that.

It's like, sugar, and, like clogged arteries.
You know, it's just ahhhh!

So, what's up?

'Cause mornings are usually
my time to write.

Actually, that's what
I wanna talk to you about. Here.

- I read the script.
- Good.

William loves it.
That's why he

greenlitet it based on my rewriting.

I know it.
I think it's fantastic.

Glad that you think it's fantastic.

I do. I think uh...

that you've come a long way.
I think you

knew how to pull it together. And

I have a few notes.

- You have some notes for me?
- Just a few.

I think I can help you
with the transition

where Jesse is repulsed
by the thought of having sex with Karina.

If it were up to you,
I wouldn't be allowed on the set.

Jenny, I would have never banned you
from the set. Never. Okay?

I mean, I've never been treated
so badly before you.

You treated me like a pariah.

I never meant to.
I was just trying to get the movie made.

You were trying to get ahead
by using my creation.

I have total respect and admiration
for the fact that "Lez Girls" is

your creation. Okay?
And I was just doing my job,

which is what I'm trying to do
right now.

Can I have my script?

Thanks.

But

I would never

take

any of your sticky notes

into account.

Alright. Jenny, I'm sorry.

I am so sorry for everything

that went down.
Everything that happened.

Everything with Kate.
Okay? Everything...

You just... Look,
we have to work together and,

and you just have to know
that I sincerely

want to help you try to make
the best movie that you can make.

That was good. No, it was good.
I can see that you...

It took a lot

to dredge up an apology
and I can see all the time that it took.

But I still don't see why
I should take notes from,

- sticky notes, too, from you.
- Because!

- I'm your executive.
- Exactly. You're an executive.

And I'm a writer,

and you don't understand anything
about writing,

or anything creative, for that matter.
So,

excuse me, Tina, but I actually have
to get back to work.

Fine.

I can't eat this.

I just can't!

Oh, God!
You could kill someone with that!

Not that I would...

ever kill someone. I am totally,

totally against killing.

Shit happens.

It's the turn of mama B.

- Mama B.B. Yeah!
- Mama bombo boom.

Yeah. Come on, sweet.
I think you'll get the potty.

- Yeah, that is time for nappies.
- Yeah, I guess it is.

I'll be right back out.
I'm gonna put her down.

So now we're going to sleep?
What do you wanna do?

- I'll go crabby.
- You're gonna go crabby?

So, how come you didn't tell me
that Kate was fired?

I don't know.

I guess because you hate
the movie business so much.

Well, there's a lot to hate,
but I hope you didn't

mess everything up between the two of you.

There was nothing to mess up.

I think she's back in New York.

So, you and she never hooked up?

I don't think I wanna answer that.

You didn't, did you?

So, what're you doing for sex?

What?!

Well, I mean, if the thing with Kate didn't work out,
I know it's been a long time...

so are you seeing anyone?

You want to know if I'm getting laid.

Is that off-limits, too?

Yeah, it is.

You know, it's not like I didn't go
for months at a time

without having sex
when we were together.

I've gotta go.
I've got to go visit Helena.

Ouch...!

T, you've gotta stop saying
there's no beautiful women.

I see them everywhere I go.
Hi.

Shane, beautiful women, they see you.
They don't see me.

Bullshit, Tina.

You do need to stop hanging out
with Bette so much.

Yeah, especially
since Jodi is coming back.

Just please do not go back to men,
whatever you do.

Look you guys
I'm interested in women, okay?

It's just hard to find someone after Bette.

Forget about Bette. Really. It is easy.
I did it.

- It was just that she set the bar.
- You don't need to go to bars!

We can go wherever you want,
we can expand it.

Will you still be here later...?
Alright, sure.

Yeah, we'll be your little wingmen.
Like your little, gay wingmen.

Hey, Helena.

Are you okay?

You actually look amazingly beautiful.

- Have you heard from Mother?
- I put in a few calls.

Like 350.

Listen, we're trying to come up with the bail.
It's just uh...

It's a lot of money.

I don't know understand
why your bail is set so high.

- It's not like you murdered Catherine.
- I would have murdered her

if I had the chance.

She's a flight risk.

She has no ties to the ccommunity,

her family is loaded.

- And you stole an awful lot of money.
- I didn't steal it!

I was entitled to it!

Okay. Totally. Nobody's disputing that.

Well, except maybe the...

the D.A.

Ask her.

Helena,

what did you do with the money?
Because if we can tell them

where you put the money, I think
they could drop the charges!

So, are they treating you well in here?
I mean, is it at least humane?

I'm sure the sheets are polyesther.

There are no sheets, Alice!

And the food here is like shit!

My cellmate is like
this massive homicidal psychopath

who's probably going to kill me
in my sleep!

Okay. You just sit tight, alright?
'Cause we're gonna get you out.

- How?
- We don't know yet. But I can promise you this:

before figuring it out,
we're gonna come here

- and visit you as much as we can.
- Everyday.

But you have to promise us
that you're gonna keep it safe here.

- How? How do I do that?
- You lay low.

No, she doesn't.
She needs to stand up for herself.

She needs to let everybody in here know
she's not afraid.

- Oh really? I'm so sure.
- Yeah.

No, she should stick to herself
and stay out of all the drama.

You guys, she gets a family,
and she gets herself a daddy.

You're fucking kidding me!
No, she shouldn't!

Are you jocking?
No, she should stay out of all that shit.

- Stick to herself. That's it.
- She's an alpha female!

- She's British!
- She's what?!
- Stop!

Just don't drop the soap.

You know what I'm saying?

- Don't drop the soap.
- I wouldn't.

- "Candy" by CC Martini -

To Phyllis!

Alright, I know what I want you

but it's Phyllis's party. We engaged ourselves
that we would come in.

I'm not in the mood.

Look, I bet she didn't call
because she wanted to make it easier on you.

They shipped out at 0900 o'clock
this morning,

and she said she would call me
before they shipped out.

Yeah, but I'm sure
she has a good reason.

I don't think Tasha's a flake.

Come on. Come on, come on.

- You're gotta get me drunk?
- Yep.

By the way,

I heard you handled the directors
brilliantly.

Oh, she manhandled them.

- So you heard about this?
- It was legendary, Phyllis.

- It was the talk of the UP conference.
- No way.

I told you Phyllis.

The lesbians of academia are celebrating

the advent of you landing among them.

We've had you on our radar

since long before old Joyce here
got her mitts all over you.

Back off!
Old Joyce got in there first.

Oh, baby.

What about her?

- What?!
- No!

- Are you looking where I'm looking?
- I've got two eyes, Alice.

- I'm looking. And I say no.
- What about her?

- Not Bette!
- What?

- Not Bette!
- I'm not looking at Bette!

I'm looking. Yeah.

- See here?
- Who? Where?

She's kinda got like dark brown hair,
kinda of a hot school teacher.

- Okay, that one.
- She's cute. She's a bit...

- Serious?
- Yeah. Flat lining, but she's cute.

She's probably a Pulitzer prize,
winning scientist, or something.

- Oh, and that's bad?
- So what? You're smart.

- I'm not smart.
- Good.

We don't have anything in common.

Have you talked to her?

- Do you know her?
- I can just tell.

- I don't think so, Tina. I don't know.
- Alright, alright, alright.

- What?
- Sit tight.

- No!
- What?

Okay. So, I need you to come over
first thing tomorrow morning

and what I want you to do
is to create a rainbow in my office.

Essentially, I need
a rainbow-colored hue of files

because I want each one of my characters
to be part of the rainbow,

and it needs
to be organized categorically.

I can't come over tomorrow morning
first thing, but I promise...

Why?

Do you have
something more important to do?

Yeah, I'm going to church.

Go in the afternoon, silly.

They don't have afternoon service
in the episcopal church.

- Hey sugar!
- Hey!

- Wait! Hi you!
- Hi! How are you?

I'll go help T. with something.
I'll be right back.

- For Tina?
- Be nice.

- Who's that?
- Marissa, my assistant.

She's cute.
I'll be right back.

- So, I'll see you at 8 a.m. tomorrow.
- I won't be there.

- Why?
- Because I fucking quit.

Well you've...

You have missed
the opportunity of a lifetime, Marissa.

Hey, high stuff, nice party.

- How are you doing, Shane?
- I'm good.

Shane, meet the ladies.

This is Camilla Goldoni,
visiting us from Lucca;

and she's the recipian
of the Rockefeller Grant.

- A very prestigious...
- She knows that, honey.

- This is my buddy, Samantha.
- Hey you, Shane,

- nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

- Megan Swisher.
- Nice to meet you.

And Andrea Jills.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

She's talking to her.
She's talking to her.

I am sure you get this all the time,
so this isn't really original, but,

you really do have beautiful eyes.

It's the truth.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

- You have beautiful eyes too.
- Thank you.

So, uh,

what's your story, Shane?

I don't really have one.

But, you see that blonde over there?

That's my friend, Tina, and I think
she'd really like to meet you.

But I'm meeting you right now.

Yes, you are.

- Well...
- Great!

You didn't have anything in common.

Hon, I'm gonna take care
of some business.

Why don't you get to know Cammie
a little better?

Don't bother with these two,
they're not worth it.

I'm just kidding.

Hi! Cammie, is it Camilla?

Hey, T.

I'm sorry. She has a girlfriend.
It's a no, girl.

- You are such a liar!
- I'm not lying! That's what she told me.

Oh my god! I hate being single, you guys.

- Being single is not so bad!
- Not bad.

Ohhh, to the left.

I just wanna know one thing.

Why did you ask me and Jared
to move in with you?

Alright. Let's, let's, let's...
talk about this outside. Come on.

No, no.

I just want you to answer me.

I asked you and Jared
to move in with me

because I thought
it would be good for us.

Good for us...

You mean like

eating all your green vegetables?

Why did you tell Jared
that Shay was coming back?

Paige, I never wanted...

I never said Shay was gonna come back.

I said to him that I wanted to,
and there was my plan,

but I never ever promised Jared that.

Now we will all just be
one big happy family, huh?

Is that what you told him?

Is that what she told you?

Me?

We... don't... talk... a lot.

We're gonna go.
Well... yeah.

Look, you know what?

It doesn't matter.

I know you have a problem,

I know it's who you are,

and I can't expect you to change
over a night.

I can actually live with it.

You shouldn't have to live with it.

It's just sex.

Paige, it's...
I know it's sex, but...

you deserve someone
who wants to be with you

and who only loves you,

and you alone.

- And you don't love me?
- No, I do love you.

But you're not in love with me.

- "Sugar" by Jessy Moss -

- Helloooo.
- Hello.

- Hi, Jenny.
- Hi, Tina.

Wow, they're so in love.

- How was your cruise?
- Fine. Thank you, Alice.

- Hi.
- Hi!

- Good to see you.
- Good to see you.

- Welcome back.
- Thank you.

- How are you?
- Hi. Good.

Hi, Jodi. Good to see you.

Thank God you're here!
I need your advice!

Advice... Oh God!

Joyce is over there. She's writing
a big fat check for this party!

Very good job.

Hi sweetie!

Don't worry about it. She can afford it.
Kit's probably giving her a break.

She's in love with me.
She wants to u-haul.

- I told you!
- But...

I've been having an epiphany.
I realize that what I am doing with Joyce

is exactly what I did with Leonard
25 years ago.

Just because the first person
asks you to just settle down,

it doesn't mean
you have to settle down with them.

I mean, it's ridiculous to think
about that, right? I mean,

you think like you don't have the choice.
You know, like that,

it's just not in your power to decide
who you wanna be with.

You're but just got bird in the hand,
you know,

toward the butch! Anyway,
all these little forth and back,

and I tell you what.
I have a...

I don't want to settle down.
You know what I mean? I don't.

- Play the field.
- Go crazy.

I don't what the hell
I'm gonna tell Joyce.

Where is she? Oh, shit!
She's coming right now.

Yeah...

My lady...

Mr. Wischnia.

If it isn't the pillow princess.

You are sloppy seconds, right?

You're clever.

Well, what do you say, girls, huh?

- To Phyllis.
- Yeah. Alright.

Cheers!

Your loft.

I have never had a tablecloth before.

Very fancy.

This table is too plain for you?

No, no.

I just thought you would like it.

Yeah, yeah, it's very nice.

And very sweet of you.

Thank you.

But um...

it's my space.

So you don't like it?

Well, I didn't feel like I was,
you know,

being a control freak.

I felt like I was trying to do

something nice for you.

Fuck!

I don't know what to do.

I don't know what to do.

I'm going to take control of you.

- Oh, really?
- Yeah.

This is too...

I can't see you.

How am I supposed to communicate with...

Stop.

- "Going Down" by Bomber -

- Excuse me, Miss?
- Yeah?

- Is this your business?
- Yeah, it was.

Do you have unhappy customers?
A disgruntled employee?

No, no. I don't think so.

The spread of the fire indicates
multiple paths of origin.

And from the color of the smoke,
I think the accelerant used was gazoline.

Some oil...
What does all that mean?

It means it was probably arson.

Any idea of who could have done
such a thing?

- No. No, I don't.
- You don't have any ennemies?

Anybody who's maybe a little upset
with you for some reason, you know?

No.

Well, I take it
you don't wanna file a report...

No, I don't wanna file a report.

... bomb killed 15 iraki civilians today,

in a busy market in central Bagdad,

close to a popular caf?.

Who is it?

Alice, open the door.

Tasha?

What are you doing here? What
are you doing here?! What are you doing here?

Hi...!

Hi!

- Are you okay?
- Yes.

- Are you hurt?
- No.

Are you in trouble?

What are you doing home?

Oh, my soldier's home.

- "Kiss Me When I'm Starving"
by The Heart Throbs -

What are you doing home?

- Stop asking so many questions.
- Wait.

Are you A.W.O.L. ?
Did you do something crazy?

I missed you.

You missed me?

Yes.

I missed you.

I missed you too.

I was worried about you.

Come here!