The L Word (2004–2009): Season 3, Episode 4 - Light My Fire - full transcript

PREVIOUSLY ON THE L WORD...

WE INSTALL A CHAIR FOR YOU
OVER HERE, JUST ONE CHAIR,

BECAUSE I WANT PEOPLE LINING UP

TO GET ON YOUR SCHEDULE.

CHECK IT OUT.

SHANE FOR WAX.

27? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

THAT'S THE NUMBER OF TIMES

THAT YOU MENTIONED DANA.

WHAT DID I TELL YOU, I'M
PRACTICALLY OVER HER.

THE N.E.A. JUST
PULLED THEIR FUNDING.



ARE YOU GOING TO
LOSE YOUR STIPEND?

I DON'T KNOW, PROBABLY.

SURROUND YOURSELF WITH
PEOPLE THAT YOU KNOW AND TRUST.

SOMEBODY FROM YOUR PAST.

HELENA PEABODY OFFERED ME A JOB.

ARE YOU CONSIDERING IT?

SHE MADE IT VERY ATTRACTIVE.

WHO IS THAT?

JENNY'S GIRLFRIEND?

YOU GIRLS JUST RELAX

AND LET US BUTCHES
UNLOAD THE TRUCK.

COME ON, SHANE.

UH, ANGUS PARTRIDGE.

I'M HER MANNY.



HE IS ONE CUTE MANNY.

IT'S A BENIGN SOLID LUMP.

WE'RE GOING TO DO A BIOPSY.

HOW MUCH IS THAT?

$14, MA'AM.

I'LL JUST HAVE A SALAD
AND A SIDE OF FRIES.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

THEY'RE YOUR FRIENDS.

YOU KNOW, I DON'T REALLY FIT IN.

LIVING YOUR LIFE
AGAINST GOD'S WILL

IS LIKE THROWING YOURSELF
INTO THE ETERNAL FIRE

OF HELL'S DAMNATION.

IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT, SISTER?

I'M A FORMER HOMOSEXUAL
WHO FOUND JESUS.

HAVE FAITH.

THIS USED TO BE AS HARD
FOR ME AS IT IS FOR YOU,

UNTIL I WAS SAVED.

BUT ISN'T THIS WORSE?

JESUS HATES THE
SIN BETWEEN TWO MEN

MUCH MORE THAN THAT
BETWEEN TWO WOMEN.

IT'S BETTER THAN HELL'S FIRE.

I PROMISE YOU.

♪ GIRLS IN TIGHT DRESSES
WHO DRAG WITH MUSTACHES ♪

♪ CHICKS DRIVING FAST
INGENUES WITH LONG LASHES ♪

♪ WOMEN WHO LONG, LOVE,
LUST WOMEN WHO GIVE ♪

♪ THIS IS THE WAY IT'S
THE WAY THAT WE LIVE ♪

♪ TALKING, LAUGHING
LOVING, BREATHING ♪

♪ FIGHTING, FUCKING
CRYING, DRINKING ♪

♪ WRITING, WINNING
LOSING, CHEATING ♪

♪ KISSING, THINKING, DREAMING ♪

♪ THIS IS THE WAY... ♪

♪ IT'S THE WAY THAT WE LIVE ♪

♪ IT'S THE WAY THAT WE LIVE ♪

♪ AND LOVE ♪

I HOPE YOU BACKED THAT
UP ON YOUR HARD DRIVE.

WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU?

I WAS HANGING OUT AT THE BEACH.

LOOK, I WAS JUST, LIKE,
SLEEPING IN MY TRUCK,

YOU KNOW, TRYING TO FIGURE
OUT WHAT I'M DOING HERE IN L.A.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE IN L.A.?

I DON'T KNOW.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT
I'M DOING ANYWHERE.

YEAH.

I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM ANYMORE...

YOU KNOW WHAT?

NOBODY KNOWS WHO THEY ARE.

YOU KNOW, THAT'S
WHAT LIFE IS ABOUT.

YOU WALK THROUGH LIFE,
AND YOU TRY TO FIGURE IT OUT,

AND YOU PROBABLY
WON'T FIGURE IT OUT.

IT SEEMS LIKE YOU
KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

ABSOLUTELY.

I'M, LIKE, THE PICTURE

OF TOGETHERNESS AND SANITY.

YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT THAT I
WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A WRITER,

AND I'M THIS FUCKING LOSER

THAT CAN'T EVEN GET A
PUBLISHER TO CALL THEM BACK

ABOUT A STUPID MANUSCRIPT.

WHO CARES?

YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET
PUBLISHED TO BE A GOOD WRITER.

OKAY,

SO WHEN I SERVE YOU
YOUR CUP OF COFFEE,

YOU REMIND ME THAT.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

I'M GOING TO BE A
WAITRESS AT THE PLANET.

YOU GOT A JOB AT THE PLANET?

I DID. IT'S SO AWESOME.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WELL, MAYBE IT'LL JUST GIVE YOU

MORE MATERIAL FOR YOUR BOOKS.

WHOO!

SPLASHIE!

AND SPLASH...

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WE ARE COOLING OUR TOOTIES.

I HAVE A MEETING IN 40 MINUTES.

AND I HAVEN'T EVEN FED HER YET.

I HAVEN'T EVEN SET UP THE PUMP.

I'M SURE THEY'LL HOLD
THE MEETING FOR YOU.

YOU'RE THE BOSS NOW, AREN'T YOU?

THAT MIGHT BE HOW YOU
TREATED YOUR SUBORDINATES,

BUT I DON'T LIKE TO
KEEP PEOPLE WAITING.

WELL, I NEVER CALL MY
COLLEAGUES MY SUBORDINATES,

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, YOUR MAMA
T IS A LITTLE STRESSED RIGHT NOW.

SHE HAS HER VERY
FIRST BIG STAFF MEETING.

I DON'T EVEN HAVE
TIME TO PUMP NOW.

I'LL JUST...

I'LL JUST DO IT LATER.

CAN YOU PICK UP MY
DRY CLEANING, PLEASE?

AND NOW SHE THINKS

THAT JUST BECAUSE,
FOR THIS ONCE,

SHE'S THE ONE TO
BRING HOME THE BACON,

THAT WE SHOULD JUMP
THROUGH BURNING HOOPS.

I KNOW. I FEEL THE SAME WAY.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR
SOME GOOD NEWS, DJ SUGAR?

I WOULD. WHAT IS IT?

I JUST GOT OFF THE
PHONE WITH PAUL ERETT,

AND HE HEARD YOU DJ
AT VULVA, LAS VEGAS,

AND HE WANTS YOU
FOR HIS VIP AFTERPARTY

FOR RUSSELL SIMMONS
AND HIS NEW BAND,

BLACK BUDDAFLY.

HOLY SHIT!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

NO, NO, I'M NOT KIDDING.

OH, MY GOD, KIT!

OH, MY GOD, COME HERE!

THIS IS HUGE!

WAIT, THIS IS FANTASTIC.

OH, MY GOD, WHEN ARE
WE SUPPOSED TO DO THIS?

TOMORROW NIGHT AT THE ABBEY

AT 9:00.

TOMORROW?

I CAN'T.

I CAN'T DO IT.

IT'S YOUR OPENING.

OH! NO, NO, DON'T EVEN...

I AM SO SORRY.

GIRL, COME ON, LOOK.

LOOK, THERE ARE GOING TO BE
A LOT OF OTHER PARTIES, OKAY?

THERE ARE GOING TO BE
A LOT OF OTHER PARTIES.

DON'T WORRY, OKAY?

THERE'S GOING TO BE A
LOT OF OTHER PARTIES

IN LOS ANGELES WITH
RUSSELL SIMMONS?

SURE THERE WILL.

OKAY, NOW, YOU THINK
ABOUT IT AND LET ME KNOW.

CALL ME, OKAY?

OKAY.

ALL RIGHT.

COME ON, THIS IS A HUGE THING.

DON'T GIVE IT UP FOR WAX.

WELCOME BACK TO THE 2006
MERCEDES-BENZ CHALLENGE.

I'M BILLIE JEAN KING,

SITTING WITH DANA FAIRBANKS,

WHO JUST WON HER MATCH

AGAINST DANIELLA AZOULAY.

DANA, CONGRATULATIONS.

IT'S SO GREAT TO SEE
YOU BACK ON THE COURT.

THANKS.

WHAT A COMEBACK STORY.

BUT, I JUST, I FEEL
REALLY GOOD, YOU KNOW.

I FEEL LIKE I'M
GETTING MY GAME BACK.

YOU KNOW, AS A
PROFESSIONAL ATHLETE,

TO COME OUT AS A LESBIAN
IS REALLY A BIG RISK.

DO YOU GET TIRED
OF PEOPLE ASKING YOU

ABOUT YOUR
SEXUALITY ALL THE TIME?

NO.

I MEAN, NOT ANYMORE.

IT WAS EASIER, THANKS TO YOU.

YOU KNOW.

YOU REALLY... YOU PAVED THE WAY.

I'M SORRY, YOU'RE MY HERO.

I JUST HAVE TO SAY THAT.

THAT'S SO EMBARRASSING.
NO, IT'S TRUE.

ISN'T HE CUTE?

I MEAN THAT IN SORT
OF AN INDIE, EDGY,

VEGAN KIND OF WAY.

OH, MY GOD, I WONDER IF
HE ACTUALLY IS A VEGAN,

BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT
THEY SAY ABOUT VEGANS...

THEIR CUM TASTES REALLY SWEET.

I MEAN, NOT THAT
I'D EVER SWALLOW.

I'M A...

SPITTING KIND OF GUY.

HE'S COMPLETELY UNQUALIFIED.

I MEAN, IT'S RIDICULOUS.

IT'S GOING TO HURT
YOUR BUSINESS.

BILLIE'S JUST TRYING
TO GIVE HIM A CHANCE.

BILLIE JUST WANTS TO
KNOW WHAT HE EATS.

OKAY, DARLING,

I DO NOT NEED TO
GIVE PEOPLE JOBS

TO FIND OUT ABOUT
THEIR CULINARY HABITS,

AND TALKING OF WHICH,

WHEN WAS THE LAST
TIME YOU ATE OUT?

OOH, SAVED BY THE BELL.

HELLO?

PLEASE TELL ME

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO FUCK HIM.

I DO NOT NEED A LAWSUIT.

I AM NOT GOING TO FUCK HIM.

I DON'T EVEN WANT TO FUCK HIM.

HIS BEAUTY HOLDS
NO MYSTERY FOR ME.

OH, MY GOD. WHEN?

HE, ON THE OTHER HAND,

IS AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT MATTER.

WHO IS THAT?

I DON'T REALLY FEEL LIKE
I SHOULD HANG OUT HERE

WHILE YOU'RE WORKING, YOU KNOW?

NO, IT'S FINE.

IT'S FINE.

THESE PEOPLE ARE MY FRIENDS.

WE HANG OUT HERE ALL THE TIME.

JULIA LOURD IS IN THE HOSPITAL.

I'VE GOT TO GO SEE HER.

DO YOU WANT ME TO KEEP THE BABY?

NO, I'M GOING TO SEE
IF ANGUS IS AVAILABLE.

SHE WANTS ME TO FILL IN FOR HER.

SHE'S SUPPOSED TO
TESTIFY AT A SENATE HEARING

IN WASHINGTON TOMORROW

ABOUT THE DISBURSEMENT
OF N.E.A. GRANTS, AND...

SO YOU'RE GOING TO WASHINGTON?

I MIGHT.

I DON'T KNOW.

OKAY, SEE YOU.

HEY...

HELLO.

IS IT OKAY IF MOIRA
HANGS OUT HERE

WHILE I START MY SHIFT?

YEAH.

YEAH, OF COURSE.

HELLO.

MOIRA...

IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU.

YOU TOO.

ARE YOU NEW TO HELL A?

YEAH.

ACTUALLY, SHE'S
LOOKING FOR A JOB,

IF YOU KNOW OF ANYTHING.

SHE'S AN I.T. SPECIALIST.

OOH, AS IN, "WE CAN
MAKE IT HAPPEN?"

YEAH.

LIKE THAT.

LOVELY.

"THE EVOLUTION OF THE
LITTLE BLACK DRESS?"

SOUNDS LIKE A BLURB FOR VOGUE.

WELL, I WAS THINKING

IT WOULD BE A NICE CHANGE
TO DO A PIECE ON FASHION.

YOU KNOW?

AND I WOULDN'T EVEN BE
TEMPTED TO BRING UP DANA

BECAUSE SHE HAS THE
WORST FASHION SENSE EVER.

SHE REALLY DOES.

SHE'S THE WORST DRESSER.
I MEAN, BEFORE I MET HER,

SHE USED TO WEAR THE
PADS IN THE SHOULDERS...

ALICE.

YEAH.

UM, I COULD DO THAT, OR I
COULD DO A PIECE ON, UH...

THE EVOLUTION OF THE PANTSUIT...

WHAT DOES THAT HAVE
TO DO WITH THE CHART?

SEE, NONE OF THESE IDEAS

HAVE ANYTHING AT ALL
TO DO WITH THE CHART.

MY LAST IDEA.

WHAT DID YOU THINK
OF MY LAST IDEA?

YOU WANT TO READ A
CHILDREN'S BOOK ON AIR?

I DON'T GET IT.

OKAY, "IF YOU GIVE
A PIG A PANCAKE."

IT'S MY EARTH
DAUGHTER ANGELICA'S

FAVORITE PICTURE BOOK,

BUT IT'S ALL ABOUT
INTER-CONNECTIVITY,

BECAUSE IF YOU DO
GIVE A PIG A PANCAKE,

AND SHE WANTS
SYRUP TO GO WITH IT,

IT LEADS HER TO
THE BATH, YOU KNOW,

BECAUSE SHE'S STICKY,

AND THAT LEADS HER
TO BUBBLES, WHICH...

AND, THEN, THE RUBBER DUCKIE,

AND, UM, A TRIP TO THE FARM.

ANYWAY, IF YOU SEE
WHERE IT'S HEADED,

IT'S KIND OF A...

I'M GOING TO HAVE A LOT MORE
IDEAS TOMORROW, THOUGH,

AND I'M...

WE'RE GOING TO NAIL THIS THING.

IT'S GOING TO BE FINE.

IF YOU GIVE A PIG A
FUCKING PANCAKE.

UM...

I'M HAVING A LITTLE PARTY
AT MY PLACE TONIGHT.

YEAH?

MM-HMM. YOU SHOULD COME.

OH, THAT'S COOL.

I DON'T KNOW.

JUST A FEW FRIENDS, YOU KNOW.

PEOPLE LIKE US.

SOME PEOPLE WHO'VE, UH...

CHANGED THEIR BODIES TO
MATCH UP TO THEIR BRAINS,

AND A FEW WHO'VE
CHANGED THEIR BRAINS

TO MATCH UP TO THEIR BODIES.

YOU SHOULD BRING
JENNY AND COME ALONG.

WELL, I'M NOT REALLY SURE I KNOW

WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

DON'T WORRY, HANDSOME,
THEY'RE GOOD PEOPLE.

YOU'LL HAVE FUN.

WELL, JULIA SAID YOU
WOULD TRY TO GET ME IN

TO SEE THE SENATOR
TOMORROW BEFORE THE HEARING.

WELL, IF IT DOESN'T
HAPPEN, IT DOESN'T HAPPEN,

BUT I THINK IT'S WORTH A TRY.

OKAY, GREAT. THANKS, IRIS.

WHAT'S ANGUS DOING HERE?

I CALLED HIM BECAUSE I KNEW
THAT YOU WERE GOING OUT TONIGHT.

WHY ARE YOU PACKING?

I'M GOING TO WASHINGTON.

WHAT?

JULIA WAS SUPPOSED TO TESTIFY

AT THE SENATE HEARING,

BUT SHE HURT HER BACK...

SURFING.

COULDN'T YOU HAVE
AT LEAST CALLED ME?

I TRIED TO GET
AHOLD OF YOU ALL DAY.

THIS IS THE THIRD NIGHT IN A ROW

SHE'S BEEN BABYSAT.

I THOUGHT WE WEREN'T
GOING TO DO THIS TO HER.

WELL, I DON'T KNOW.

I MEAN, IS THERE ANY WAY YOU
CAN RESCHEDULE YOUR DINNER?

IT'S NOT A DINNER.

IT'S A SCREENING
OF A DOCUMENTARY

THAT HELENA AND I ARE
INTERESTED IN FINANCING.

CAN'T YOU AT LEAST
GO IN THE MORNING?

IT'S A SENATE HEARING, TINA.

I DON'T THINK THEY'LL RESCHEDULE

BECAUSE WE PROMISED

NOT TO DO A BABYSITTER
THREE NIGHTS IN A ROW.

WHEN I TOOK THIS JOB,

YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU WOULD
TAKE CARE OF THINGS AT HOME.

YOU SAID THAT YOU
WOULD BE MORE THAN HAPPY

TO DO ALL THE THINGS FOR ME

THAT I DID FOR YOU WHEN
YOU WORKED AT THE C.A.C.

YEAH, AND I AM.

I MEAN, DO YOU EVEN KNOW
WHAT'S GOING ON, TINA?

I MEAN, WE HAVE TO FIGHT

TO PRESERVE GOVERNMENT
SUPPORT OF THE ARTS.

PBS IS UP FOR GRABS,
FOR CHRIST'S SAKE.

AND WHILE I'M WORKING,
I'D LIKE TO KNOW

THAT MY DAUGHTER IS AT
HOME WITH HER MOTHER.

OTHERWISE, I CAN'T DO IT, BETTE.

THEN DON'T.

REALLY. DON'T.

ARE YOU GETTING PAID FOR THIS?

I'M SORRY.

I HAVE TO CATCH
A REDEYE TONIGHT.

I'M TRYING TO MEET
WITH BARBARA GRISHAM

TOMORROW BEFORE THE HEARING.

SENATOR GRISHAM?

THE DYKE FROM MASSACHUSETTS?

I DON'T THINK SHE'S A DYKE.

SHE'S FAMOUSLY MARRIED TO
SOME SOFTWARE BILLIONAIRE.

OH, RIGHT. AND...

YEAH, AND I THINK
IT'S A LITTLE JUVENILE

THAT LESBIANS ASSUME THAT
EVERY STRONG, OUTSPOKEN WOMAN

IS AUTOMATICALLY A DYKE.

OKAY, WHATEVER.

DAMN. I THINK SHE'S HOT.

I USED TO. NOW I THINK
SHE'S JUST POWER HUNGRY.

YEAH, THAT'S WHAT
MAKES HER SO HOT.

DON'T YOU REMEMBER WHEN
SHE TORE CLINTON A NEW ASSHOLE

OVER THE DEFENSE
OF MARRIAGE ACT?

SHE AND KERRY WERE THE
ONLY POWER DEMOCRATS

WHO STOOD BY US.

I WISH YOU WERE COMING WITH ME.

YEAH, I DO, TOO.

GOD, THAT'S SO COOL.

I LOVE THAT STUFF.

I CAN'T.

I HAVE SO MUCH WORK TO DO.

I'M IN OVER MY HEAD.

I'VE GOT TO BE AT THIS
SCREENING IN 20 MINUTES.

I LOVE THIS JOB.

I'LL MISS YOU.

DO YOU REALIZE
THIS IS THE FIRST TIME

YOU'VE SPENT A NIGHT
AWAY FROM ANGELICA, EVER?

I'LL MISS YOU.

JESUS CHRIST...

HONEY, DON'T DO THIS.

IT'S NOT YOUR MESS.

WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?

SOMEONE'S GOT TO DO IT,

AND THE PERSON
WHO MADE THIS MESS

CLEARLY HAS NO
INTENTION OF DOING IT.

THIS IS DISGUSTING.

I THINK YOU SHOULD DJ
RUSSELL SIMMONS' PARTY.

SO IT REALLY DOESN'T
MATTER TO YOU AT ALL

WHETHER OR NOT
I'M AT YOUR OPENING?

HONESTLY, IT'S NOT
THAT BIG OF A DEAL TO ME.

UM... OKAY.

WHOA, WAIT.

CARMEN, COME ON.

DON'T TAKE IT THAT WAY.

YOU KNOW I WANT YOU TO BE THERE.

YEAH.

AND I KNOW THAT'S SOMETHING

YOU'VE BEEN WORKING
REALLY HARD AT.

RIGHT?

MM-HMM. OKAY.

THANK YOU.

THAT WAS AMAZING.

THAT WAS REALLY... TENSE.

SO UPSETTING.

THE BIO...

WE HAVE TO MEET THE FILMMAKER.

IS THAT HER?

SHE'S BEAUTIFUL, ISN'T SHE?

IT'S PRETTY SELF-EXPLANATORY.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

DYLAN, HI.

I'M TINA KENNARD
FROM PEABODY/SHAOLIN.

HI.

THAT WAS A REALLY
POWERFUL PIECE OF FILMMAKING.

WELL, I HEARD YOU
MIGHT BE COMING.

I'M REALLY, REALLY
GLAD THAT YOU MADE IT.

THIS IS HELENA PEABODY.

DYLAN, WE DON'T NORMALLY
DO DOCUMENTARIES,

BUT I'D REALLY LOVE TO SIT DOWN
AND TALK WITH YOU ABOUT THIS.

WELL, YOU KNOW, WE'RE
LOOKING FOR 10 INVESTORS EACH

TO COME IN AT $10,000 APIECE,

AND IF YOU...

IF YOU READ THE PROSPECTUS...

WELL, I ASSUME
YOU'D ACCEPT IT ALL

FROM ONE SINGLE INVESTOR.

ARE YOU KIDDING?

CALL ME, AND WE
WILL SET UP A MEETING.

TO DISCUSS

WHETHER $100,000
IS REALLY ENOUGH,

OR MAYBE WE SHOULD THINK ABOUT

INCREASING YOUR BUDGET.

WHAT ARE YOU,

SOME KIND OF AN
ANGEL OR SOMETHING?

NO, I'M JUST...

I'M REALLY IN AWE OF WHAT
YOU'RE TRYING TO DO HERE,

AND...

I'M LUCKY ENOUGH TO BE
IN A POSITION TO HELP YOU.

COULD YOU JUST WAIT...

JUST WAIT HERE FOR A SECOND?

THERE'S SOMEONE I REALLY
WANT TO INTRODUCE YOU TO.

SURE.

SURE.

WHO IS THAT, DO YOU KNOW?

THAT IS DANNY WILSON,

HER PRODUCER,

AND I THINK HER BOYFRIEND.

AH...

I THINK I'LL TRY
AND PUT HER DOWN.

OKAY, AND I'M GOING
TO LET YOU, TOO,

BECAUSE SHE'LL GO
DOWN QUICKER FOR YOU

THAN SHE WILL FOR ME.

WELL, THAT'S BECAUSE

SHE LOVES YOUR COMPANY SO MUCH,

SHE CAN'T STAND TO SEE YOU GO,

AND I UNDERSTAND
COMPLETELY HOW SHE FEELS.

WELL, THEN, I'LL SET THE TABLE.

NO, NO, NO, YOU RELAX,

PUT YOUR FEET UP.

THIS IS YOUR NIGHT OFF.

WELL, YOU'VE DONE
EVERYTHING ELSE.

PLEASE, JUST WAIT
UNTIL I GET BACK.

HMM...

JENNY AND MOIRA!

SO GLAD YOU COULD COME,

AND YOU, WELCOME HOME.

COME ON IN.

HEY, EVERYBODY!

THESE ARE MY NEW
FRIENDS, JENNY AND...

MOIRA, DO YOU GO
BY ANY OTHER NAME?

NOT REALLY.

SHE SOMETIMES GOES BY MAX.

MAX, FANTASTIC.

THAT'S A NICE NAME.

COME ON, TOO, MAX.

HEY, EVERYBODY.

THESE ARE MY NEW
FRIENDS, JENNY AND, UH, MAX.

SAY HELLO TO TOM, CYNTHIA,

AND, OF COURSE, THE
LOVELY GINGER VITUS.

HOW ARE YOU DOING, MAX?

GOOD.

OH, YOU'RE A BAD GIRL.

I KNOW, I'M A BAD GIRL.

I JUST, YOU KNOW,
WENT ON AHEAD AND...

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I'M MOWING THE LAWN.

WHAT DOES IT
LOOK LIKE I'M DOING?

UH, I'M...

I'M ALMOST OLD ENOUGH
TO BE YOUR MOTHER.

MY GRANDMOTHER,
BUT I DON'T CARE.

UH, WE...

YOU CAN'T DO THIS.

DO YOU MIND TELLING ME WHY?

BECAUSE IT'S NOT RIGHT,
AND YOU KNOW IT'S NOT RIGHT.

I DON'T KNOW,

IT FELT REALLY RIGHT TO ME.

WHAT DO YOU KNOW?

YOU'RE A CHILD.

A VERY ATTRACTIVE CHILD...

BUT STILL A CHILD.

SO WHAT'S YOUR
NOVEL ABOUT, JENNY?

MY NOVEL IS ABOUT SOME BULLSHIT

ABOUT MY CHILDHOOD.

IT'S NOT BULLSHIT, JENNY.

THERE YOU GO.

THANK YOU. OKAY, IT'S...

IT'S GOT THIS AMAZING
STORY ABOUT A CARNIVAL.

I'M A SWORD SWALLOWER.

I HAVE A VERY, VERY DEEP THROAT.

TOM'S A WRITER, TOO.

WHAT KIND OF STUFF DO YOU WRITE?

NON-FICTION, MOSTLY.

I WRITE FOR GO
MAGAZINE, BITCH MAGAZINE,

AND I DO MY OWN LITTLE 'ZINE,

BOI WORLD,

AND I'M SORT OF, KIND OF,
WORKING ON A SCREENPLAY.

OH, GOD.

LIKE EVERYBODY IN HELL A.

NO, NOT ME.

I DON'T DO IT.

I DON'T WANT TO EVER
WRITE A SCREENPLAY.

I JUST WANT TO WRITE FICTION.

GOOD FOR YOU.

WHAT'S YOUR SCREENPLAY ABOUT?

THE LIFE, A GIRL
WHO BECOMES A BOY.

WHAT HE GOES THROUGH.

YOU KNOW, SMALL TOWN,

REALIZING HE'S REALLY NOT A SHE.

YOU KNOW, GIRLFRIENDS,
FAMILY SHIT, T, TOP SURGERY.

WHAT'S TOP SURGERY?

A BILATERAL MASTECTOMY?

YOU KNOW, SIMILAR

TO WHAT A CANCER
PATIENT WOULD UNDERGO.

EXCEPT THAT THE
NIPPLES ARE RE-ATTACHED,

AND THE CHEST IS RECONSTRUCTED

WITH MALE CONTOURS.

SO IT'S ABOUT YOUR LIFE?

OR MAYBE IT'S ABOUT
YOURS, MAX, HUH?

ONLY, YOU KNOW,

IF I'M PRESUMING ANYTHING,

JUST PLEASE TELL ME TO SHUT UP.

NO, I MEAN,

I'VE DEFINITELY
THOUGHT ABOUT IT.

WHEN DID YOU THINK ABOUT IT?

UM, SINCE I WAS A KID.

AND HOW COME

YOU NEVER TOLD ME ABOUT IT?

I DON'T KNOW.

IT JUST NEVER...

IT JUST DIDN'T REALLY SEEM LIKE

SOMETHING THAT YOU
TALKED ABOUT, YOU KNOW?

AW, YOU CAN TALK
ABOUT IT, DARLING.

YOU HAVE TO TALK ABOUT IT.

HEY, BILLIE!

LET'S SEE... LENI RIEFENSTAHL,

DEMI MOORE, SUSAN SARANDON,

JOAN COLLINS,

MARY KAY LETOURNEAU,

FRAN DRESCHER...

WHO'S MARY KAY LETOURNEAU?

THE SCHOOLTEACHER
WHO HAD THE AFFAIR

WITH THE 13-YEAR-OLD STUDENT.

OH, GREAT, SHE WENT TO JAIL.

YES, BUT SHE'S OUT NOW,

AND SHE AND VILI ARE MARRIED

WITH, LIKE, THREE KIDS.

NO WAY.

WAY.

IT IS A HAPPY ENDING,

AND I WILL WAIT FOR
YOU WHILE YOU'RE IN JAIL.

I THINK IT'S MEANT TO BE, KIT.

WHY ARE YOU FIGHTING ME?

I DON'T THINK YOU REALLY KNOW

WHAT YOU'RE GETTING
YOURSELF INTO.

YOU DON'T KNOW ME.

YOU DON'T KNOW
ANYTHING ABOUT ME.

I KNOW YOU'RE GORGEOUS.

I KNOW I LIKE YOU A LOT.

I KNOW THAT WHEN
YOU SING, IT MAKES...

WHAT'S THE WEIRD
THING ON A MAN'S NECK?

AN ADAM'S APPLE.

IT MAKES MY ADAM'S APPLE
DO, LIKE, A MEXICAN HAT DANCE.

WELL, DID YOU KNOW
THAT I'M AN EX-DRUNK?

I SERVED YOU DINNER WITH
LEMON-FLAVORED PELLEGRINO.

LOOK, I KNOW YOU
WALKED OUT ON YOUR SON

WHEN HE WAS A BABY.

I KNOW THAT HE GREW UP

AND TURNED INTO SOMEONE YOU
DON'T PARTICULARLY CARE FOR,

AND THAT FILLS YOU WITH SADNESS.

I KNOW THAT YOU HAD
A HIT RECORD IN 1992,

AND THEN LOST YOURSELF

IN A DOWNWARD SPIRAL
OF MEN AND BOOZE,

AND NOW YOU HAVE
A THRIVING BUSINESS,

10 NEW SONGS, AND
A COUPLE OF COVERS

THAT YOU WANT TO RECORD TO A CD

THAT YOU'RE GOING
TO PUT OUT YOURSELF,

AND A BEAUTIFUL NIECE

WHO SQUEALS EVERY TIME
YOU WALK IN THE ROOM.

AND I'M GOING THROUGH MENOPAUSE.

HUH...

WE CAN'T WAIT VERY MUCH LONGER

FOR SENATOR GRISHAM.

MISS LOURD, WE'RE
GOING TO GET STARTED.

MY NAME IS BETTE PORTER.

I'M FILLING IN FOR JULIA LOURD.

SENATOR GRISHAM,

ANY COMMENTS ON YOUR MEETING
WITH THE PRESIDENT THIS MORNING?

DID HE WIN YOU OVER
ON SOCIAL SECURITY?

NICE OF YOU TO JOIN US, BARBARA.

MISS LOURD HERE HAS
BEEN VERY PATIENT.

UH, MISS... MS. PORTER.

AMERICA'S SENIOR CITIZENS
WILL BE LICKING THEIR WOUNDS

IF THE PRESIDENT GETS HIS WAY,

BUT RIGHT NOW, WE'RE HERE
TO DISCUSS HOW MUCH MONEY

WE'RE GOING TO BLEED
FROM THE ARTS BUDGET.

THANK YOU.

YO, THANKS FOR THE HELP, GUYS.

HEY, CARMEN,

THAT LOOKS REALLY GOOD ON YOU.

YOU SHOULD TAKE IT.

SHE'S BUMMED.

SHE CAN'T MAKE IT TONIGHT.

WHY? THERE'S GOING
TO BE OTHER PARTIES.

I KNOW, THAT'S WHAT
I KEEP TELLING HER.

IT'S MELLOW.

WHAT TIME IS IT?

IT'S, LIKE, 1:00.

IT'S WHAT? 1:00.

FUCK. HERE, TAKE... HEY, CARM!

DANA'S GAME IS ON.

OH.

MM-HMM, MM-HMM, MM-HMM.

ACTUALLY, I JUST WANT TO
SIT DOWN AND TALK TO HER.

MM-HMM.

NO, NO, NO, NO, I DON'T WANT
TO GET INTO A BIDDING WAR.

OH, CAN YOU HANG ON?

HAS REALLY WORKED
ON THAT APPROACH.

SHE'S GOT A GREAT COACH.

LOOKS LIKE DANA

IS ABOUT TO SERVE.

OH, UM...

SYDNEY, I'M GOING TO
HAVE TO CALL YOU BACK.

OKAY.

WHAT'S UP?

HAVE YOU SET THAT MEETING YET?

YOU KNOW, WITH THE
DOCUMENTARY FILMMAKER?

UM...

NEXT TUESDAY AT 3:00.

NEXT TUESDAY?

WHY DON'T YOU JUST
CALL AND ASK HER OUT?

OH, COME ON, DANA.

WHAT, SHE'S PLAYING?

WOW, I'VE NEVER SEEN HER PLAY.

COME ON, DANA, YOU CAN DO IT.

WHOO! SHE DID IT.

SHE DID IT.

OH, SHE'S PLAYING WELL.

ISN'T SHE PLAYING WELL?

I CAN'T BELIEVE IRWIN
ISN'T HERE TO SEE THIS.

HEY, WHERE IS EVERYBODY?

I'M HERE TO HELP!

AL, WE'RE OVER HERE!

DANA'S SERVING HER
NEXT POINT. COME HERE!

HER SERVE

IS DEFINITELY ONE OF
HER STRONG POINTS.

GUYS, THIS PLACE IS SO...

SHH! QUIET.

FUCK, IT LOOKS
LIKE SHE'S HURTING.

COME ON, DANA, GET UP. LET'S GO.

OH, MY GOD, IS SHE ALL RIGHT?

NO, NO, NO, SHE'S FINE.

SHE JUST LOST HER FOOTING A BIT,

THAT'S ALL.

NO, SHE'S NOT THAT STRONG.

SHE'S PUSHING
HERSELF WAY TOO HARD.

YOU OBVIOUSLY DON'T
KNOW HER VERY WELL.

SHE'S STRONG AS AN OX.

TIME VIOLATION
WARNING, MISS FAIRBANKS.

PENALIZED FOR THIS,

WHICH WOULD BE JUST TRAGIC.

OOH! YEAH.

ONCE AGAIN FOR DANA FAIRBANKS.

EXACTLY,

AND IF SHE NEEDS IT, SHE
DIGS DEEP AND FINDS IT.

COME ON, DANA, YOU
CAN DO IT. COME ON.

GAME.

OH, MY GOD, LOOK AT THIS!

THERE YOU HAVE IT,

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

DANA FAIRBANKS

IS THE MERCEDES-BENZ
CHALLENGE CHAMPION.

AN ABSOLUTELY
BRILLIANT PERFORMANCE

IN THE FINAL

FROM A SOMEWHAT-FATIGUED
DANA FAIRBANKS.

I'M... I'M SORRY. UH...

IN CONCLUSION, I ASK
YOU TO REMEMBER

THAT LOOKING AT ART
IS AN ACT OF CHOICE,

AND THOSE WHO DON'T
WANT TO NEED NOT LOOK,

BUT I DON'T WANT MY CHILD
GROWING UP IN A WORLD

THAT DOESN'T GIVE
HER THE OPTION.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME.

MISS LOURD, MISS PORTER,

WHATEVER YOUR NAME IS.

IS THIS SOMETHING

YOU WANT YOUR CHILD TO
HAVE THE OPTION OF SEEING?

SENATOR, YOU'RE TAKING
THE PIECE OUT OF CONTEXT.

IT'S A SHOW ABOUT POLITICAL ART,

AND AS SUCH,

IT PRESENTS MANY,
MANY POINTS OF VIEW.

TRY TELLING THAT TO
THE BOYS AND GIRLS

WHO ARE RISKING
THEIR LIVES IN IRAQ.

THIS IS UN-AMERICAN FILTH.

SENATOR,

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?

UN-AMERICAN?

NOT AS UN-AMERICAN
AS WHAT YOU JUST DID.

YOU OUGHT TO BE
ASHAMED OF YOURSELF.

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE?

YOU'RE JUST THE LATEST
REIGNING, VIGILANTE,

SELF-APPOINTED CULTURAL
WATCHDOGS OF THE MOMENT,

DEVOTING COUNTLESS HOURS
AND ENVIABLE RESOURCES

TO THIS BOGUS MISSION

OF STIFLING CREATIVE EXPRESSION
IN THE NAME OF PATRIOTISM.

MISS PORTER...

AND DO YOU KNOW
WHAT IT IS, SENATOR?

IT'S A DISTRACTION.

IT IS A WANTON DISTRACTION,

BECAUSE LET'S JUST BE
FORTHRIGHT AND HONEST

ABOUT WHAT IS TRULY UNPATRIOTIC.

ABJECT POVERTY IS UNPATRIOTIC.

THE FAILURE OF OUR
EDUCATION SYSTEM

IS UNPATRIOTIC.

LIES TOLD BY PRESIDENTS
AS JUSTIFICATION FOR WAR...

MISS PORTER...

IS UNPATRIOTIC.

IT IS UNPATRIOTIC

THAT ELECTED LAWMAKERS
FAIL TO ACKNOWLEDGE,

LET ALONE ADDRESS,
REAL DESPERATION.

THE COMMITTEE IS RECESSED

UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE.

THAT WAS RATHER FIERY.

CAN YOU JOIN ME AT A
COCKTAIL PARTY TONIGHT?

I HAVE TO GET BACK TO L.A.

YOU'LL MEET PEOPLE

WHO CAN SWING THE VOTE FOR YOU.

IT'S A LIMITED OFFER,

AND NOT ONE I MAKE
TO JUST ANYBODY.

DO NOT TALK ABOUT DANA.

DO NOT EVEN BRING UP
ANYTHING THAT RHYMES WITH DANA.

DO NOT TALK ABOUT DANA.

OKAY.

HELLO. WELCOME BACK.

THAT WAS "ALL FIRED
UP" BY THE TRA-LA-LAS...

AND... TODAY...

UM...

I'M SURE IN THE WORLD
OF CONNECTIVITY, THOUGH,

I WILL COME UP WITH
SOMETHING REALLY MEANINGFUL,

REALLY ENTERTAINING.

UM...

I DON'T REALLY KNOW
WHAT TO TALK ABOUT

IF I CAN'T TALK ABOUT DANA.

WAIT A MINUTE.

MY PRODUCER'S TRYING
TO TELL ME SOMETHING.

WHAT, RUTH?

WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME?

SOMETHING ABOUT A DICK?

HEAD?

A DICKHEAD?

A DICKHEAD.

OKAY, A DICKHEAD.

A DICKHEAD, UM...

SPEAKING OF DICKHEADS,

WHAT ABOUT GEORGE BUSH?

HE'S A TOTAL DICKHEAD.

AND WHAT ABOUT
HIS DICK, YOU KNOW?

I MEAN, I THINK THAT'S
REALLY THE QUESTION

WE NEED TO PUT TO
PUT TO THE DEMOCRATS.

WHY ARE WE NOT TALKING
ABOUT GEORGE BUSH'S PENIS?

YOU KNOW, WITH ALL THE TIMES

THAT THE REPUBLICANS TALKED
ABOUT BILL CLINTON'S PENIS...

YOU KNOW, WE KNEW ITS
SHAPE, WE KNEW ITS SIZE.

WE KNEW WHO IT WAS FRIENDS WITH.

WE KNEW IT HAD ENEMIES.

BILL CLINTON'S PENIS
HAD A BEND IN IT.

YOU KNOW, WHAT ABOUT DUBYA?

IS THERE A BEND IN THE
BUSH ADMINISTRATION?

OH, YEAH.

BABY, I GOT US A PIMP RIDE.

SERIOUSLY, CHECK IT OUT.

THE SEATS IN THE BACK,
THEY GO ALL THE WAY DOWN,

AND THEN THE SKYLIGHT...

PANORAMIC SUNROOF OR WHATEVER...

IT'S LIKE YOU CAN
SEE THE ENTIRE SKY.

AND IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE
SUPER SMOOTH TO DRIVE.

BABY, I HAVE NEVER
BEEN IN A CAR THIS NICE,

AND I DON'T EVEN GIVE
A SHIT ABOUT CARS.

OOH, LET'S CHECK OUT
THE SOUND SYSTEM.

A WINK IN THE PRESIDENTIAL WANK?

YOU KNOW, I THINK
AS AMERICANS...

AS AMERICANS, WE NEED
TO TAKE A LONG, HARD LOOK...

THAT WAS ALICE.

I WANT TO HEAR
WHAT SHE'S SAYING.

MAYBE IF WE KNEW MORE

ABOUT GEORGE W'S WEAPON OF
MASS DESTRUCTION, YOU KNOW,

WE COULD FIGURE OUT HOW
TO BLOW HIM OUT OF OFFICE.

OKAY, SO COME ON,

ALL YOU NASCENT MUCKRAKERS

AND YOU SO-CALLED
JOURNALISTS, LET'S GO.

LET'S, UH...

I SAY IT'S TIME TO PUT
THE PRESIDENTIAL PRIVATES

IN PUBLIC.

OKAY, I AM ALICE PIESZECKI,

AND THIS WAS THE CHART...

I THINK ALICE HAS LOST HER MIND.

WELL, YOU DEFINITELY HAVE

THE SENATOR FROM
CONNECTICUT'S VOTE.

YOU COFF OF
HIM.PANTS I DON'T KNOW...

SHOULD I GIVE YOU A
LIFT TO YOUR HOTEL?

WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHERE ELSE.

MY PLACE.

I DO HAVE A RATHER
GOOD COLLECTION.

ABSTRACT EXPRESSIONISTS.

OH, VERY GOOD.

YOU DO YOUR HOMEWORK.

THOUGHT ABOUT
RUNNING FOR OFFICE?

WELL, I WOULD REALLY LOVE

TO SEE YOUR COLLECTION, SENATOR,

BUT I DO HAVE TO GET UP...

OH, PLEASE, PLEASE,
PLEASE. BARBARA.

BARBARA.

DO YOU ALWAYS GET PEOPLE
TO DO WHAT YOU WANT THEM TO?

MAYBE WE SHOULD PUT YOU TO BED.

NO, I'M FINE.

NO, BABY, YOU DON'T LOOK FINE.

YOU LOOK... YOU
LOOK REALLY TIRED.

I AM REALLY TIRED.

I PLAYED MY ASS OFF TODAY.

I KNOW YOU DID.

LOOK, LARA, YOU'RE
OVERREACTING, REALLY.

OKAY?

I'M GOING IN FOR A NEEDLE
BIOPSY ON TUESDAY.

WE'LL FIND OUT THEN

IF THERE'S ANYTHING
TO WORRY ABOUT,

BUT RIGHT NOW, IN THIS MINUTE,

I'M A HUGE FUCKING TENNIS STAR.

YES, YOU ARE.

YES, I AM.

I'M JUST NOT COMFORTABLE
WITH THOSE GIRLS.

WHY DON'T YOU
GIVE IT ANOTHER TRY?

WHY?

BECAUSE THOSE
PEOPLE ARE MY FRIENDS.

YOUR FRIENDS WEREN'T
VERY FRIENDLY TO ME.

WHAT?

I FEEL LIKE I JUST
DON'T REALLY FIT IN,

YOU KNOW?

I JUST... THEY'RE
SO COOL, AND...

I DON'T KNOW, SOPHISTICATED...

I THINK THAT NOT
THINKING YOU'RE COOL

IS FUCKING COOL.

WHERE'D YOU GET THAT SUIT?

HEY.

WONDER WOMAN.

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!

OH, YOU WERE FANTASTIC!

THANK YOU.

ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC.

THANK YOU.

DANA. SORRY.

THAT WAS ABSOLUTELY THRILLING.

THANK YOU.

I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE
YOU AT WIMBLEDON.

THANK YOU.

JENNY...

HI.

HI.

CONGRATULATIONS.

THANK YOU.

HEY.

HEY. CONGRATULATIONS.

HEY, THANKS. THANKS.

THAT VOLLEY IN THE SECOND
SET WAS, LIKE, SO AWESOME.

THAT WAS WHEN I PSYCHED HER OUT.

NOTICED THAT. YEAH.

LOOK AT HOW HANDSOME YOU LOOK.

YOU LOOK GOOD.

HEY, THANKS.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

HEY. CONGRATULATIONS.

THANKS, AL.

UM... DRINKS.

IT WAS, LIKE, THE BEST GAME
YOU'VE PLAYED IN A LONG TIME.

YOU WATCHED IT?

YEAH, I WATCHED IT.

I'M REALLY PROUD OF YOU.

THANKS.

THANKS.

CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU, TOO.

THANK YOU.

IT WAS A GREAT KISS.

OKAY, I'M GOING TO...

OKAY.

I CAN REALLY ONLY
STAY FOR ONE, SENATOR...

BARBARA.

AND I JUST OPENED

A FABULOUS BOTTLE OF SCOTCH.

WELL, BARBARA, I CAN REALLY
ONLY STAY FOR ONE DRINK.

I HAVE A VERY EARLY FLIGHT.

BUT I'M REALLY GLAD

I GOT TO SEE YOUR
INCREDIBLE COLLECTION.

LET ME...

ASK YOU SOMETHING.

WHY DID YOU GET
FIRED FROM THE C.A.C.?

IS IT BECAUSE YOU'RE A LESBIAN?

WHAT, DID YOU GOOGLE
ME OR SOMETHING?

THIS AFTERNOON,

AFTER YOUR PYROTECHNICS.

WELL, I DON'T THINK THE
PYROTECHNICS WERE MINE.

I THINK SENATOR HORSEY...

WHO IS A RIDICULOUS
GRANDSTANDER,

AND YOU MADE HIM
LOOK LIKE A FOOL.

I LOVED IT.

WELL, THEN, IF YOU GOOGLED ME,

THEN YOU KNOW THAT I
HAVE A PARTNER NAMED TINA

AND A SIX-MONTH-OLD DAUGHTER.

IS TINA...

AS INTENSE...

AS YOU ARE?

IS YOUR HUSBAND
AS FLUID AS YOU ARE?

MY HUSBAND AND I
HAVE AN ARRANGEMENT.

IT WORKS OUT WELL...

FOR BOTH OF US.

COME TO BED WITH ME.

I CAN'T.

THAT DOES NOT SOUND

LIKE A BETTE PORTER STATEMENT.

TINA AND I DON'T HAVE
AN ARRANGEMENT.

EXCUSE ME, JUST FOR A MINUTE.

GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO!

GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO!

GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO!

OH, YOU MADE IT.

I WOULDN'T MISS IT, MAN.

THIS IS AMAZING.

OH, SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE.

YOU'RE GOING TO
HAVE TO DO MY HAIR.

I WILL DO YOUR HAIR.

WHERE'S THE BABY?

SHE'S AT HOME. SHE'S WITH ANGUS.

AND WHAT ABOUT
BETTE? WHERE'S SHE?

OH, SHE'S IN...

GUESS WHO.

HEY, HOW ARE YOU?

WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU.

OH, T, GO IN THERE.

OKAY. OKAY.

YEAH? REALLY?

HAVE YOU SEEN MOIRA?

SHE LOOKS AMAZING.

I KNOW, SHE LOOKS
LIKE A HOT GUY.

I LIKE IT.

HEY, ALICE. HOW ARE YOU?

GOOD.

HAVE YOU SEEN CARMEN?

I THINK SHE'S AT, LIKE,

SOME PHAT-ASS
RUSSELL SIMMONS PARTY.

I DON'T KNOW.

DON'T YOU THINK IT'S WEIRD

SHE'S NOT HERE?

I THINK IT SUCKS.

I'M SORRY, BETTE...

WHY ARE YOU TELLING
ME THIS RIGHT NOW?

BECAUSE, TINA, WE HAVE AN
AGREEMENT WITH ONE ANOTHER.

SO YOU WANT TO
HAVE SEX WITH HER,

AND SHE'S IN THE OTHER ROOM,
AND YOU'RE ASKING MY PERMISSION?

I'M NOT ASKING YOUR
PERMISSION TO...

I DON'T KNOW.

WELL, YOU'D BETTER HURRY,

BECAUSE I DON'T THINK
SENATOR GRISHAM'S

GOING TO WAIT AROUND
FOR YOU FOR VERY LONG.

SO IT WOULD BE FINE WITH YOU

IF I JUST WENT BACK
IN THE LIVING ROOM,

AND FUCKED HER ON
HER $50,000 CARPET?

IF THAT'S WHAT YOU
WANT TO DO, BETTE...

THAT'S NOT WHAT I
WANT TO DO, TINA.

I JUST...

I JUST WANT YOU TO CARE.

DO YOU?

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT IN THERE?

I'VE GOT TO GO.

THOUGHT YOU COULD USE
SOME ENCOURAGEMENT.

I'M SORRY.

I REALLY DON'T NEED
ANY ENCOURAGEMENT.

YOU... YOU ARE AN
EXQUISITE WOMAN,

AND THE ONLY THING THAT I WANT

MORE THAN YOU RIGHT NOW

IS FOR MY GIRLFRIEND
TO WANT ME LIKE YOU DO.

WELL...

SHE OBVIOUSLY DOESN'T
KNOW WHAT SHE'S MISSING...

AND THIS WAS NOT MEANT TO BE.

IT WOULD HAVE BEEN GOOD, THOUGH.

I'M SURE IT WOULD HAVE.

HEY...

HI!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO
BE AT RUSSELL SIMMONS'.

I KNOW. IT'S A SURPRISE.

SHE IS WITH RUSSELL SIMMONS,

OR, ACTUALLY, I'M WITH HER. HI.

HEY.

HOW ARE YOU DOING? I'M RUSSELL.

I'M SHANE.

IT'S A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU.

THIS IS SIMONE, MY ASSISTANT.

HI. HOW ARE YOU DOING?

MEANWHILE, YOUR GIRL
HERE IS VERY TALENTED.

YEAH, SHE'S NOT SO BAD.

BUT I CAN ALSO SAY

THAT SHE HAS HER
PRIORITIES STRAIGHT,

BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH I
HIRED HER, SHE'S HERE FOR YOU.

IS THAT SO?

YEAH.

WELL, STRAIGHT, I DON'T...

GUESS WHAT?

WHAT?

I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU.

I WORKED ON THIS
MIX ALL WEEK FOR YOU.

IS THAT MINE?

JUST FOR YOU.

GO PLAY IT FOR HER.

I WANT TO HEAR IT.

COULD YOU PLAY IT HERE?

YEAH. OKAY. ALL RIGHT.

TO LOVE IT! G ALL RIGHT.