The Jeffersons (1975–1985): Season 6, Episode 20 - A Night to Remember - full transcript
George and Louise have idyllic plans for their 30th anniversary until Louise's jealousy leaves George alone in the path of temptation.
♪ Well, we're movin' on up
♪ Movin' on up
♪ To the East Side
♪ Movin' on up
♪ To a deluxe apartment
in the sky
♪ Movin' on up
♪ Movin' on up
♪ To the East Side
♪ Movin' on up
♪ We finally got
a piece of the pie
♪ Fish don't fry
in the kitchen
♪ Beans don't burn
on the grill
♪ Took a whole lot of tryin'
♪ Just to get up that hill
♪ Now we're up
in the big leagues
♪ Gettin' our turn at bat
♪ As long as we live,
it's you and me, baby
♪ There ain't nothin' wrong
with that
♪ We're movin' on up
♪ Movin' on up
♪ To the East Side
♪ Movin' on up
♪ To a deluxe apartment
in the sky
♪ Movin' on up
♪ Movin' on up
♪ To the East Side
♪ Movin' on up
♪ We finally got
a piece of the pie ♪
It's been such a long time
since I looked through
our wedding album.
You know, it sure is
romantic of Mr. Jefferson
to take you
to the Hotel Marquis tonight.
Yeah, and I bought
something to guarantee
a full evening's romance.
You got yourself a new nightie.
No, I got George some NoDoz.
Hey, Weez, you ready yet?
Oh, George, we still
have some time.
Florence,
what are you doing
tonight?
Oh, I'm going to see
this new horror movie,
The Monster That Ate New York.
It's supposed to have
a surprise ending.
The ending
ain't no surprise.
The monster dies.
How do you know?
Well, if he ate all of New York,
he must have had
some of your meat loaf.
George,
this is our anniversary.
Be nice to Florence.
Why? I ain't married to her.
Thank the Lord for that.
Look, Florence,
I know you're just jealous.
What would you do
if you landed
a catch like me?
Throw you back.
Shoot.
Hi, Mr. J and Mrs. J.
Happy anniversary.
Thank you, Mr. Bentley
I brought you
an anniversary present.
An old newspaper.
Hey, Bentley, look,
that's just what I was
telling Weezy this morning.
"You know what I want
for my anniversary present?
An old newspaper." Thanks.
Well, wonderful.
And this one has great
sentimental value.
Read it.
"Air Force C-54
crashes into Mount Fuji"?
Well, notice the date.
You see, this newspaper
is from exactly
30 years ago today,
the day you were married.
Oh, thank you,
Mr. Bentley.
We'll put this
in a very special place.
Right. Do we still have
that old bird cage?
So, tell me, Mrs. J,
what's your secret
for 30 years of happiness
with Mr. J?
Ear plugs.
Don't believe her, Bentley.
The reason we lasted
so long is because we really
trust each other.
That's right.
We have no secrets.
But aren't there any surprises
in your marriage?
Sure. We're surprised
every time we eat
Florence's cooking and live.
Well, I better finish packing.
Thanks again
for the present,
Mr. Bentley.
Oh, it's the least I could do.
You got that right.
George, when we go
to the hotel tonight,
would you mind
leaving something here?
Yeah, what?
Your mouth.
Why don't you see
if Mr. Bentley
would like a drink?
Ah, thank you,
but I can't stay long.
Oh, that's too bad.
So I'll just have a short one.
Tell me Mr. J,
what do you remember most
about your wedding?
The headache
on our wedding night.
Mrs. J gave you
that excuse?
No, I had the headache,
from the bachelor party
the night before.
Man, was it wild.
Ah, yes.
My cousin Felix
had a wild one.
We scandalized all of London.
Oh, yeah? Go ahead.
Go ahead?
Yeah, go ahead,
tell me what happened.
Oh. Well, first we went
into a pub and we played
darts left-handed.
Are you serious?
Oh, it's hard to believe,
isn't it?
Then we all trooped
over to Hyde Park
and my cousin got up
on a soapbox and he yelled,
"Forget the Queen,
long live Millicent!"
Millicent was his fiancee.
You sure know how to
live life in the fast lane,
Bentley.
I told you it was wild.
What a bunch
of madcap zanies.
How was your stag party,
Mr. J?
Well, on a scale
of 1 to 10, it was a 12.
Here it was, Bentley,
the night before my wedding,
right?
And we're all drinking,
and then these friends of mine
wheel in this big cake.
I don't have to tell you
what was inside the cake.
Of course not.
What was inside the cake?
A girl, Bentley.
My old girlfriend
before Weezy,
Gloria Fox.
And was she a glorious fox.
Uh, Mr. J...
You know, this is funny, see,
old Gloria got
the holidays mixed up,
you know?
It was my wedding,
and she comes dressed
in her birthday suit.
I think... I think
I've heard enough.
No, no, you ain't heard
the half of it yet.
This Gloria, man,
she had two of the biggest...
Two of the biggest brothers
I ever saw.
Boy.
I never laid a hand on her.
Hey, Weez, how you doing?
George, you told me
you never saw Gloria Fox
after we met.
I did?
Yes. You knew
I didn't like her.
I couldn't even stand
to hear her name.
Well, that's why
I never told you.
Well, I'd love to stick around
and see you try to
worm your way out of this,
but I don't wanna be late
for my movie.
Oh, what are you going to see?
Oh, I'm going to see
The Monster That Ate New York.
Seeing scary things
really makes me jump.
Oh, good. Why don't we
put a monster mask
on the vacuum cleaner?
I'd like to see
that movie myself.
I'm going alone.
Why don't you come with me?
I'd love to.
Good. You two have
a nice time tonight.
We will.
You enjoy the movie.
Thank you. Ta-ta.
Bye-bye.
See you later.
I'm so embarrassed.
Imagine how I must have
looked to Mr. Bentley.
What you do you mean, Weezy?
That dress looks fine.
I mean about bragging
that we had no secrets
in our marriage.
Then you spring
Gloria Fox on me.
Why were you hiding it?
I wasn't hiding. Besides,
you should see her now.
She should have
"Goodyear Blimp"
written across her side.
How do you know?
Well,
she dropped by the store
about a year ago.
A year ago?
You never told me that.
But, Weezy, she just
dropped by to say hello,
and I said goodbye.
Now could you forget
the past, please,
and let's enjoy tonight?
Look, you answer the door,
I'll get my coat.
Oh, hi.
I'm Stephanie Hamilton,
Mr. Jefferson's secretary.
You must be Luanne.
Louise.
Oh, excuse me.
I don't know what's going on
up here today.
Is your husband here?
Uh, yes, he's...
Oh, jazzy.
I let him get by today
without signing these.
He's such a little dynamo.
You know, zoom, zoom, zoom,
all the time.
Oh, there you are.
Oh! Stephanie.
You forgot to sign
the Taylor contract.
Oh, Stephanie,
thanks for bringing it over.
Thanks.
Oh, have you two met?
After all the jazzy things
you've told me about her,
I'd know Luanne anywhere.
Louise.
Uh, George, you didn't
tell me about Stephanie.
I didn't?
Well, you know how some men are.
They just don't like
to bring the office
home with them.
I can see why.
Oh, by the way, Stephanie's
a dynamite secretary.
I mean,
she takes dictation so fast
that her pencil smokes.
Well, George,
smoking can be hazardous
to your health.
Okay, all done.
Oh, jazzy.
You two have a scrumptious
evening at the Marquis.
Oh, you know about that?
Know about it?
Well, I planned
the whole jazzy thing.
George is just too busy
to be bothered with all those
pesky little details.
Oh.
Is George?
You know, zoom, zoom, zoom,
all the time. Ciao.
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
You didn't tell me
you had a new secretary.
Stephanie ain't new.
She's been there a week.
A week!
Why didn't you tell me?
But, Weezy, look,
will you quit acting silly?
Silly?
Suddenly I find out
about Gloria Fox
30 years ago,
and then your
new secretary today.
Who knows what kind
of fun you've been having
in between?
I ain't been having
no fun in between.
I've been married to you.
Look, Weez, look.
Would you just come on
and stop trying to
spoil the evening
I planned?
You didn't plan it.
Miss Zoom Zoom Zoom
planned it.
You know something,
if didn't know you better,
I'd swear you were jealous.
Jealous?
What have I got
to be jealous about?
Nothing.
Are you crazy?
Did you take a good look
at that girl?
Are you kidding, Weezy?
You actually think
that I would fool around
with my secretary, huh?
Who knows? Maybe you got
the 30-year itch
and she's willing to scratch.
Look, Weezy, it's nothing
happening between me
and Stephanie at work.
And there ain't gonna be
nothing happening between
me and you at the hotel
unless you apologize.
Apologize?
You should apologize to me.
For what?
For Gloria Fox, Stephanie,
and who knows who else?
Look, I ain't apologizing
'cause I ain't got nothing
to apologize about.
Okay, George,
I just hope
you enjoy sleeping
on the couch tonight.
I ain't sleeping on no couch.
I happen to have me a room
at the Hotel Marquis.
What do you got to say to that?
I say have fun at the hotel.
What do you have to say to that?
What do I have to say to that?
I'll tell you
what I got to say to that.
I say to that,
happy anniversary, damn it.
Ah, you here you are, sir.
This is your suite.
Oh.
There you go. Thanks.
Uh, this is your closet
over here. You got plenty
of room for your clothes.
That is, if you had any.
Right. Which I don't.
But thanks anyway.
Sure.
Uh, you got
your bathroom over here,
that would be for bathing.
The bar area, here,
is for drinking.
You got your telephone,
for talking.
And that's your bed, there.
Uh, let's just say
that's for sleeping.
Yeah, well, uh,
sleeping is all I'm gonna
be doing tonight. Here.
Oh yeah?
Well, maybe I could
help you out,
you know,
with my little book, here.
Look, I'm married.
I don't fool around
on my wife.
Oh, I get it.
Well, then, perhaps
you'd be interested
in this book.
The Bible.
You know, I particularly
like the part in here
that says
it's far more blessed
to give than to receive.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Well, my son, consider
yourself blessed.
Yeah?
Hi.
Somebody told us
a guy named Bill
was having a party in here.
You Bill?
No.
Then what are you doing
in Bill's room?
This ain't Bill's room,
and there ain't no party here.
That's okay.
We'll wait.
Yeah.
Hey. Wait a minute,
who're you two guys, anyway?
Well, we're at our convention.
Don't you recognize our hats?
What is it?
Rat exterminators?
I beg your pardon.
We're chinchilla breeders.
Yeah.
"We're proud
to breed chinchillas.
"A job from heaven above.
"We're making lots of money
"'cause chinchillas
make lots of love."
Okay, look, look,
if you two don't mind,
I want to be alone.
A-L-O-N-E. Alone.
That means without you,
okay? Okay?
Ah, don't be mad.
Don't be mad.
Come on.
Show us a happy chinchilla.
Be a happy chinchilla.
Give us the salute.
I don't want to be
no happy chinchilla!
We're not gonna leave
till you show us
a happy chinchilla.
I ain't gonna be
no happy chinchilla.
I don't...
Come on.
Oh, please.
Look,
will you leave me alone?
Please?
Okay, okay, okay.
Okay, now.
Yeah?
If you really
want to make me
a happy chinchilla...
Yeah, yeah.
why don't you both leave,
so I can think? Okay?
I want to be alone
so I can think.
Bye.
Okay, bye.
I hope I'm not too late.
I forgot the champagne.
Wanna be alone to think, huh?
I know what you're thinking.
Go, be a happy chinchilla.
What are you doing here?
You forgot this!
The most important thing
for your anniversary.
Yeah, you're right.
My wife.
Where is she?
She's home.
We had a fight.
Oh, bummer.
Are you wearing that hat
to cheer you up?
Huh? Oh, this?
No, no, no.
Nothing can cheer me up.
Oh, I know what
you're going through.
I just broke up
with my boyfriend.
I gave that guy six
of the best weeks
of my life.
Yeah. Those long-term
relationships can be rough.
Listen, you really
shouldn't let the champagne
go to waste.
Yeah, right.
Maybe you can return it
and get my money back.
I mean we could both use
some cheering up, right?
Right.
Then why don't we drink it?
We?
Jazzy.
Here. You open the bottle
and I'll get the glasses.
Yeah, well, uh...
Boy, I'm glad
that movie is over.
That screaming was
beginning to get to me.
Yes, that leading lady
certainly was vocal,
wasn't she?
Not her screaming.
Yours.
Oh, hi, Florence,
Mr. Bentley.
Hello.
Well,
what are you doing here?
Where's Mr. Jefferson?
At the hotel.
We had a fight.
About what?
George said for
the past 30 years he's never
even looked at another woman,
but I found out he lied to me.
Oh. Did he go like this
when he said it?
Why would he do that?
Because he always fiddles
with his ear when he ain't
telling the truth.
He does?
Every time.
Oh, Florence, that's silly.
Well, it's not as silly
as you and Mr. J
fighting over nothing.
Nothing?
He's been lying to me
about other women.
Oh, Mrs. J. Do you know that
when Mr. J told me last week
about your anniversary,
he said that nothing in
his life would mean anything
without you?
George said that?
Mmm-hmm.
Well, he probably
didn't mean it.
The way he's always
playing around,
not providing for you,
never paying
no attention to you.
Florence, you know
that's not true.
George has been
a wonderful husband to me.
Oh? Then why are you
still sitting here?
Because sometimes...
I forget how wonderful
he really is.
I can see how that could happen.
I'm going down
to the hotel right now
and apologize.
Good idea. Have a nice time.
I don't know how I could
possibly thought
George would lie to me.
Good night.
Good night.
Oh, Florence,
what is it that George does
when he's lying?
Right.
You've hardly finished
your first glass.
Mmm.
You hardly finished
your first bottle.
You're so funny.
I'm so depressed.
My boyfriend doesn't think
I'm attractive.
Yeah, and my wife
doesn't think I'm honest.
What do you think?
I know I'm honest.
No. Do you think
I'm attractive?
Yeah, I think you're attractive.
Oh, thank you.
Hey wait, hold it,
what are you doing,
Stephanie?
Well, you said I was attractive.
I know. So is a Cadillac,
but I don't want to kiss one.
Oh, come on, George.
Come on.
Hey, wait, wait,
hold it, hold it.
Let me tell you
one thing right now.
You got me all wrong.
Come on,
I want you out of here.
You gotta go.
Bye. Nuh-uh.
Come on.
Who is it?
It's me, George.
Oh, my God!
It's Weezy. Shh.
I've gotta get you
out of here. Quick.
Oh, the window, the window.
Are you kidding?
It's 18 stories up.
Well, try to land
on something soft.
No.
C-Coming, Weezy!
Come on, in the closet.
Look. Soon as Weezy goes,
I'll get you out.
When?
When you hear
the door slam, okay?
Okay.
Oh. Hi, Weez.
What took you so long?
Well, I was trying to finish
this chapter in the Bible.
You were reading the Bible?
Yeah, I was reading
the begats. You know,
who's begetting who.
Which reminds me,
we should be
getting out of here.
Uh, you got your bathroom
over there. You got your
bar area.
Here's your telephone.
Over here you got
a very spacious closet.
Plenty of room for, uh...
Weezy,
look at that view out there.
Well, I, uh...
I see that there have been
a couple new features added
to the room.
Perhaps I could show them
to the lady.
No, no, no.
She's seen enough.
Thank you.
Well, thank you, sir,
but I'm sure she'd be
very interested.
Very, very interested.
Thank you, sir.
You're too kind.
Anything else I can get?
Yeah. Lost.
Okay? Bye. Bye.
Not yet!
Oh, George,
I'm sorry I doubted you.
I should know you'd never
hide anything from me.
Florence and Mr. Bentley
helped me see that.
Oh, they did? Well,
that's great. Let's go home
and thank them right now.
Come on.
Oh, George, don't be silly.
I just got here.
Besides, I've got to
hang up my things.
No, you can't do that!
Well, why not?
Because there are moths
in the closet.
Why don't you hang it
in the bathroom?
Okay.
Come on, come on. Go!
I didn't hear a door slam.
You will
when you leave. Shh.
George?
There are no hooks in here.
Well, hang it in the closet.
What's going on?
You just told me
there were moths in there.
I know. While you were
in the bathroom,
they all flew out.
Well, while I'm hanging
my things up,
make us a drink.
Okay. Good idea, Weez.
Go in the bathroom.
What? Huh?
George!
What did you do that for?
Some of the moths came back in.
I didn't want them
to fly back in the closet.
Come on.
Have you been drinking?
Yeah, yeah.
I had a little champagne.
A little?
It's almost gone.
Well, look, Weezy,
I missed you a lot.
I wanted to get drunk.
Well, why are there two glasses?
'Cause I wanted to get drunk
twice as fast.
What do you guys want?
I forgot my hat!
What?
Pretty good!
Two women!
What does he mean, "two women"?
He's drunk, Weezy,
he's seeing double.
Come on, get out of here.
Oh, no, no, no.
That's not the same woman
who was here before.
What?
Was there another woman up here?
Weezy, what kind
of question is that?
A question
you better answer quick!
Look! There ain't
no other woman up here!
Aha! You did it!
What?
Okay, where is she?
Would you get out of here?
Make me a happy chinchilla
and get out of here.
Okay, bye, bye, bye.
Shoot.
What the hell is she doing here?
She was supposed
to surprise you, Weezy.
Okay, where's
the pearl necklace?
Pearl necklace?
You mean to tell me
you were in there without
Weezy's anniversary present?
No wonder you were hiding.
Some secretary you are.
You're fired.
That's all. You're fired.
No, I don't want to hear it.
Bye.
How could you do this to me?
Don't worry, Weezy,
I know you're disappointed,
but I'll get your necklace
in the morning.
Forget the necklace.
I'm getting out of here.
Hey, Weezy, please don't leave.
Don't leave?
What would you do
if you caught me up here
with another woman?
Look, Weezy, it's nothing
between me and Stephanie.
You gotta believe me.
Say that again.
There's nothing between
me and Stephanie.
Again.
There's nothing happening
between me and Stephanie.
You gotta believe me.
Oh, George,
you're telling the truth.
Yeah, you mean you believe me?
Of course.
You didn't do this.
What's that?
Oh, never mind.
Oh, George, I love you!
Now, let's celebrate
the way we planned.
Just you and me.
All alone.
Great.
- Who is it?
- Room service.
What?
Oh, how romantic.
Anybody in there
order pheasants?
No!
Good, 'cause we
don't have any!
♪ Movin' on up
♪ To the East Side
♪ Movin' on up
♪ To a deluxe apartment
in the sky
♪ Movin' on up
♪ Movin' on up
♪ To the East Side
♪ Movin' on up
♪ We finally got
a piece of the pie
♪ Fish don't fry
in the kitchen
♪ Beans don't burn
on the grill
♪ Took a whole lot of tryin'
♪ Just to get up that hill
♪ Now we're up
in the big leagues
♪ Gettin' our turn at bat
♪ As long as we live,
it's you and me, baby
♪ There ain't nothin' wrong
with that
♪ We're movin' on up
♪ Movin' on up
♪ To the East Side
♪ Movin' on up
♪ To a deluxe apartment
in the sky
♪ Movin' on up
♪ Movin' on up
♪ To the East Side
♪ Movin' on up
♪ We finally got
a piece of the pie ♪
It's been such a long time
since I looked through
our wedding album.
You know, it sure is
romantic of Mr. Jefferson
to take you
to the Hotel Marquis tonight.
Yeah, and I bought
something to guarantee
a full evening's romance.
You got yourself a new nightie.
No, I got George some NoDoz.
Hey, Weez, you ready yet?
Oh, George, we still
have some time.
Florence,
what are you doing
tonight?
Oh, I'm going to see
this new horror movie,
The Monster That Ate New York.
It's supposed to have
a surprise ending.
The ending
ain't no surprise.
The monster dies.
How do you know?
Well, if he ate all of New York,
he must have had
some of your meat loaf.
George,
this is our anniversary.
Be nice to Florence.
Why? I ain't married to her.
Thank the Lord for that.
Look, Florence,
I know you're just jealous.
What would you do
if you landed
a catch like me?
Throw you back.
Shoot.
Hi, Mr. J and Mrs. J.
Happy anniversary.
Thank you, Mr. Bentley
I brought you
an anniversary present.
An old newspaper.
Hey, Bentley, look,
that's just what I was
telling Weezy this morning.
"You know what I want
for my anniversary present?
An old newspaper." Thanks.
Well, wonderful.
And this one has great
sentimental value.
Read it.
"Air Force C-54
crashes into Mount Fuji"?
Well, notice the date.
You see, this newspaper
is from exactly
30 years ago today,
the day you were married.
Oh, thank you,
Mr. Bentley.
We'll put this
in a very special place.
Right. Do we still have
that old bird cage?
So, tell me, Mrs. J,
what's your secret
for 30 years of happiness
with Mr. J?
Ear plugs.
Don't believe her, Bentley.
The reason we lasted
so long is because we really
trust each other.
That's right.
We have no secrets.
But aren't there any surprises
in your marriage?
Sure. We're surprised
every time we eat
Florence's cooking and live.
Well, I better finish packing.
Thanks again
for the present,
Mr. Bentley.
Oh, it's the least I could do.
You got that right.
George, when we go
to the hotel tonight,
would you mind
leaving something here?
Yeah, what?
Your mouth.
Why don't you see
if Mr. Bentley
would like a drink?
Ah, thank you,
but I can't stay long.
Oh, that's too bad.
So I'll just have a short one.
Tell me Mr. J,
what do you remember most
about your wedding?
The headache
on our wedding night.
Mrs. J gave you
that excuse?
No, I had the headache,
from the bachelor party
the night before.
Man, was it wild.
Ah, yes.
My cousin Felix
had a wild one.
We scandalized all of London.
Oh, yeah? Go ahead.
Go ahead?
Yeah, go ahead,
tell me what happened.
Oh. Well, first we went
into a pub and we played
darts left-handed.
Are you serious?
Oh, it's hard to believe,
isn't it?
Then we all trooped
over to Hyde Park
and my cousin got up
on a soapbox and he yelled,
"Forget the Queen,
long live Millicent!"
Millicent was his fiancee.
You sure know how to
live life in the fast lane,
Bentley.
I told you it was wild.
What a bunch
of madcap zanies.
How was your stag party,
Mr. J?
Well, on a scale
of 1 to 10, it was a 12.
Here it was, Bentley,
the night before my wedding,
right?
And we're all drinking,
and then these friends of mine
wheel in this big cake.
I don't have to tell you
what was inside the cake.
Of course not.
What was inside the cake?
A girl, Bentley.
My old girlfriend
before Weezy,
Gloria Fox.
And was she a glorious fox.
Uh, Mr. J...
You know, this is funny, see,
old Gloria got
the holidays mixed up,
you know?
It was my wedding,
and she comes dressed
in her birthday suit.
I think... I think
I've heard enough.
No, no, you ain't heard
the half of it yet.
This Gloria, man,
she had two of the biggest...
Two of the biggest brothers
I ever saw.
Boy.
I never laid a hand on her.
Hey, Weez, how you doing?
George, you told me
you never saw Gloria Fox
after we met.
I did?
Yes. You knew
I didn't like her.
I couldn't even stand
to hear her name.
Well, that's why
I never told you.
Well, I'd love to stick around
and see you try to
worm your way out of this,
but I don't wanna be late
for my movie.
Oh, what are you going to see?
Oh, I'm going to see
The Monster That Ate New York.
Seeing scary things
really makes me jump.
Oh, good. Why don't we
put a monster mask
on the vacuum cleaner?
I'd like to see
that movie myself.
I'm going alone.
Why don't you come with me?
I'd love to.
Good. You two have
a nice time tonight.
We will.
You enjoy the movie.
Thank you. Ta-ta.
Bye-bye.
See you later.
I'm so embarrassed.
Imagine how I must have
looked to Mr. Bentley.
What you do you mean, Weezy?
That dress looks fine.
I mean about bragging
that we had no secrets
in our marriage.
Then you spring
Gloria Fox on me.
Why were you hiding it?
I wasn't hiding. Besides,
you should see her now.
She should have
"Goodyear Blimp"
written across her side.
How do you know?
Well,
she dropped by the store
about a year ago.
A year ago?
You never told me that.
But, Weezy, she just
dropped by to say hello,
and I said goodbye.
Now could you forget
the past, please,
and let's enjoy tonight?
Look, you answer the door,
I'll get my coat.
Oh, hi.
I'm Stephanie Hamilton,
Mr. Jefferson's secretary.
You must be Luanne.
Louise.
Oh, excuse me.
I don't know what's going on
up here today.
Is your husband here?
Uh, yes, he's...
Oh, jazzy.
I let him get by today
without signing these.
He's such a little dynamo.
You know, zoom, zoom, zoom,
all the time.
Oh, there you are.
Oh! Stephanie.
You forgot to sign
the Taylor contract.
Oh, Stephanie,
thanks for bringing it over.
Thanks.
Oh, have you two met?
After all the jazzy things
you've told me about her,
I'd know Luanne anywhere.
Louise.
Uh, George, you didn't
tell me about Stephanie.
I didn't?
Well, you know how some men are.
They just don't like
to bring the office
home with them.
I can see why.
Oh, by the way, Stephanie's
a dynamite secretary.
I mean,
she takes dictation so fast
that her pencil smokes.
Well, George,
smoking can be hazardous
to your health.
Okay, all done.
Oh, jazzy.
You two have a scrumptious
evening at the Marquis.
Oh, you know about that?
Know about it?
Well, I planned
the whole jazzy thing.
George is just too busy
to be bothered with all those
pesky little details.
Oh.
Is George?
You know, zoom, zoom, zoom,
all the time. Ciao.
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
You didn't tell me
you had a new secretary.
Stephanie ain't new.
She's been there a week.
A week!
Why didn't you tell me?
But, Weezy, look,
will you quit acting silly?
Silly?
Suddenly I find out
about Gloria Fox
30 years ago,
and then your
new secretary today.
Who knows what kind
of fun you've been having
in between?
I ain't been having
no fun in between.
I've been married to you.
Look, Weez, look.
Would you just come on
and stop trying to
spoil the evening
I planned?
You didn't plan it.
Miss Zoom Zoom Zoom
planned it.
You know something,
if didn't know you better,
I'd swear you were jealous.
Jealous?
What have I got
to be jealous about?
Nothing.
Are you crazy?
Did you take a good look
at that girl?
Are you kidding, Weezy?
You actually think
that I would fool around
with my secretary, huh?
Who knows? Maybe you got
the 30-year itch
and she's willing to scratch.
Look, Weezy, it's nothing
happening between me
and Stephanie at work.
And there ain't gonna be
nothing happening between
me and you at the hotel
unless you apologize.
Apologize?
You should apologize to me.
For what?
For Gloria Fox, Stephanie,
and who knows who else?
Look, I ain't apologizing
'cause I ain't got nothing
to apologize about.
Okay, George,
I just hope
you enjoy sleeping
on the couch tonight.
I ain't sleeping on no couch.
I happen to have me a room
at the Hotel Marquis.
What do you got to say to that?
I say have fun at the hotel.
What do you have to say to that?
What do I have to say to that?
I'll tell you
what I got to say to that.
I say to that,
happy anniversary, damn it.
Ah, you here you are, sir.
This is your suite.
Oh.
There you go. Thanks.
Uh, this is your closet
over here. You got plenty
of room for your clothes.
That is, if you had any.
Right. Which I don't.
But thanks anyway.
Sure.
Uh, you got
your bathroom over here,
that would be for bathing.
The bar area, here,
is for drinking.
You got your telephone,
for talking.
And that's your bed, there.
Uh, let's just say
that's for sleeping.
Yeah, well, uh,
sleeping is all I'm gonna
be doing tonight. Here.
Oh yeah?
Well, maybe I could
help you out,
you know,
with my little book, here.
Look, I'm married.
I don't fool around
on my wife.
Oh, I get it.
Well, then, perhaps
you'd be interested
in this book.
The Bible.
You know, I particularly
like the part in here
that says
it's far more blessed
to give than to receive.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Well, my son, consider
yourself blessed.
Yeah?
Hi.
Somebody told us
a guy named Bill
was having a party in here.
You Bill?
No.
Then what are you doing
in Bill's room?
This ain't Bill's room,
and there ain't no party here.
That's okay.
We'll wait.
Yeah.
Hey. Wait a minute,
who're you two guys, anyway?
Well, we're at our convention.
Don't you recognize our hats?
What is it?
Rat exterminators?
I beg your pardon.
We're chinchilla breeders.
Yeah.
"We're proud
to breed chinchillas.
"A job from heaven above.
"We're making lots of money
"'cause chinchillas
make lots of love."
Okay, look, look,
if you two don't mind,
I want to be alone.
A-L-O-N-E. Alone.
That means without you,
okay? Okay?
Ah, don't be mad.
Don't be mad.
Come on.
Show us a happy chinchilla.
Be a happy chinchilla.
Give us the salute.
I don't want to be
no happy chinchilla!
We're not gonna leave
till you show us
a happy chinchilla.
I ain't gonna be
no happy chinchilla.
I don't...
Come on.
Oh, please.
Look,
will you leave me alone?
Please?
Okay, okay, okay.
Okay, now.
Yeah?
If you really
want to make me
a happy chinchilla...
Yeah, yeah.
why don't you both leave,
so I can think? Okay?
I want to be alone
so I can think.
Bye.
Okay, bye.
I hope I'm not too late.
I forgot the champagne.
Wanna be alone to think, huh?
I know what you're thinking.
Go, be a happy chinchilla.
What are you doing here?
You forgot this!
The most important thing
for your anniversary.
Yeah, you're right.
My wife.
Where is she?
She's home.
We had a fight.
Oh, bummer.
Are you wearing that hat
to cheer you up?
Huh? Oh, this?
No, no, no.
Nothing can cheer me up.
Oh, I know what
you're going through.
I just broke up
with my boyfriend.
I gave that guy six
of the best weeks
of my life.
Yeah. Those long-term
relationships can be rough.
Listen, you really
shouldn't let the champagne
go to waste.
Yeah, right.
Maybe you can return it
and get my money back.
I mean we could both use
some cheering up, right?
Right.
Then why don't we drink it?
We?
Jazzy.
Here. You open the bottle
and I'll get the glasses.
Yeah, well, uh...
Boy, I'm glad
that movie is over.
That screaming was
beginning to get to me.
Yes, that leading lady
certainly was vocal,
wasn't she?
Not her screaming.
Yours.
Oh, hi, Florence,
Mr. Bentley.
Hello.
Well,
what are you doing here?
Where's Mr. Jefferson?
At the hotel.
We had a fight.
About what?
George said for
the past 30 years he's never
even looked at another woman,
but I found out he lied to me.
Oh. Did he go like this
when he said it?
Why would he do that?
Because he always fiddles
with his ear when he ain't
telling the truth.
He does?
Every time.
Oh, Florence, that's silly.
Well, it's not as silly
as you and Mr. J
fighting over nothing.
Nothing?
He's been lying to me
about other women.
Oh, Mrs. J. Do you know that
when Mr. J told me last week
about your anniversary,
he said that nothing in
his life would mean anything
without you?
George said that?
Mmm-hmm.
Well, he probably
didn't mean it.
The way he's always
playing around,
not providing for you,
never paying
no attention to you.
Florence, you know
that's not true.
George has been
a wonderful husband to me.
Oh? Then why are you
still sitting here?
Because sometimes...
I forget how wonderful
he really is.
I can see how that could happen.
I'm going down
to the hotel right now
and apologize.
Good idea. Have a nice time.
I don't know how I could
possibly thought
George would lie to me.
Good night.
Good night.
Oh, Florence,
what is it that George does
when he's lying?
Right.
You've hardly finished
your first glass.
Mmm.
You hardly finished
your first bottle.
You're so funny.
I'm so depressed.
My boyfriend doesn't think
I'm attractive.
Yeah, and my wife
doesn't think I'm honest.
What do you think?
I know I'm honest.
No. Do you think
I'm attractive?
Yeah, I think you're attractive.
Oh, thank you.
Hey wait, hold it,
what are you doing,
Stephanie?
Well, you said I was attractive.
I know. So is a Cadillac,
but I don't want to kiss one.
Oh, come on, George.
Come on.
Hey, wait, wait,
hold it, hold it.
Let me tell you
one thing right now.
You got me all wrong.
Come on,
I want you out of here.
You gotta go.
Bye. Nuh-uh.
Come on.
Who is it?
It's me, George.
Oh, my God!
It's Weezy. Shh.
I've gotta get you
out of here. Quick.
Oh, the window, the window.
Are you kidding?
It's 18 stories up.
Well, try to land
on something soft.
No.
C-Coming, Weezy!
Come on, in the closet.
Look. Soon as Weezy goes,
I'll get you out.
When?
When you hear
the door slam, okay?
Okay.
Oh. Hi, Weez.
What took you so long?
Well, I was trying to finish
this chapter in the Bible.
You were reading the Bible?
Yeah, I was reading
the begats. You know,
who's begetting who.
Which reminds me,
we should be
getting out of here.
Uh, you got your bathroom
over there. You got your
bar area.
Here's your telephone.
Over here you got
a very spacious closet.
Plenty of room for, uh...
Weezy,
look at that view out there.
Well, I, uh...
I see that there have been
a couple new features added
to the room.
Perhaps I could show them
to the lady.
No, no, no.
She's seen enough.
Thank you.
Well, thank you, sir,
but I'm sure she'd be
very interested.
Very, very interested.
Thank you, sir.
You're too kind.
Anything else I can get?
Yeah. Lost.
Okay? Bye. Bye.
Not yet!
Oh, George,
I'm sorry I doubted you.
I should know you'd never
hide anything from me.
Florence and Mr. Bentley
helped me see that.
Oh, they did? Well,
that's great. Let's go home
and thank them right now.
Come on.
Oh, George, don't be silly.
I just got here.
Besides, I've got to
hang up my things.
No, you can't do that!
Well, why not?
Because there are moths
in the closet.
Why don't you hang it
in the bathroom?
Okay.
Come on, come on. Go!
I didn't hear a door slam.
You will
when you leave. Shh.
George?
There are no hooks in here.
Well, hang it in the closet.
What's going on?
You just told me
there were moths in there.
I know. While you were
in the bathroom,
they all flew out.
Well, while I'm hanging
my things up,
make us a drink.
Okay. Good idea, Weez.
Go in the bathroom.
What? Huh?
George!
What did you do that for?
Some of the moths came back in.
I didn't want them
to fly back in the closet.
Come on.
Have you been drinking?
Yeah, yeah.
I had a little champagne.
A little?
It's almost gone.
Well, look, Weezy,
I missed you a lot.
I wanted to get drunk.
Well, why are there two glasses?
'Cause I wanted to get drunk
twice as fast.
What do you guys want?
I forgot my hat!
What?
Pretty good!
Two women!
What does he mean, "two women"?
He's drunk, Weezy,
he's seeing double.
Come on, get out of here.
Oh, no, no, no.
That's not the same woman
who was here before.
What?
Was there another woman up here?
Weezy, what kind
of question is that?
A question
you better answer quick!
Look! There ain't
no other woman up here!
Aha! You did it!
What?
Okay, where is she?
Would you get out of here?
Make me a happy chinchilla
and get out of here.
Okay, bye, bye, bye.
Shoot.
What the hell is she doing here?
She was supposed
to surprise you, Weezy.
Okay, where's
the pearl necklace?
Pearl necklace?
You mean to tell me
you were in there without
Weezy's anniversary present?
No wonder you were hiding.
Some secretary you are.
You're fired.
That's all. You're fired.
No, I don't want to hear it.
Bye.
How could you do this to me?
Don't worry, Weezy,
I know you're disappointed,
but I'll get your necklace
in the morning.
Forget the necklace.
I'm getting out of here.
Hey, Weezy, please don't leave.
Don't leave?
What would you do
if you caught me up here
with another woman?
Look, Weezy, it's nothing
between me and Stephanie.
You gotta believe me.
Say that again.
There's nothing between
me and Stephanie.
Again.
There's nothing happening
between me and Stephanie.
You gotta believe me.
Oh, George,
you're telling the truth.
Yeah, you mean you believe me?
Of course.
You didn't do this.
What's that?
Oh, never mind.
Oh, George, I love you!
Now, let's celebrate
the way we planned.
Just you and me.
All alone.
Great.
- Who is it?
- Room service.
What?
Oh, how romantic.
Anybody in there
order pheasants?
No!
Good, 'cause we
don't have any!