The Jeffersons (1975–1985): Season 6, Episode 21 - The Loan - full transcript

♪ Well, we're movin' on up
♪ Movin' on up

♪ To the East Side
♪ Movin' on up

♪ To a deluxe apartment
in the sky

♪ Movin' on up
♪ Movin' on up

♪ To the East Side
♪ Movin' on up

♪ We finally got
a piece of the pie

♪ Fish don't fry
in the kitchen

♪ Beans don't burn
on the grill

♪ Took a whole lot of tryin'

♪ Just to get up that hill

♪ Now we're up
in the big leagues



♪ Gettin' our turn at bat

♪ As long as we live,
it's you and me, baby

♪ There ain't nothin' wrong
with that

♪ We're movin' on up
♪ Movin' on up

♪ To the East Side
♪ Movin' on up

♪ To a deluxe apartment
in the sky

♪ Movin' on up
♪ Movin' on up

♪ To the East Side
♪ Movin' on up

♪ We finally got
a piece of the pie ♪

Florence,
if you don't keep still,
I'm going to stick you.

Oh, I'm sorry, Miss Jefferson.

I guess I'm just excited
about the christening.

Imagine. Me,
Jessica's godmother.

I'll be holding her,
standing there proud.



If I don't finish this dress
by Saturday, you'll be
standing there naked.

Hey, Weez, I'm home.

Oh, hi, George.
You're just in time.

Lionel and Jenny
should be here
any minute.

Hey, what is it
they want to tell us
that's so important?

I hope they ain't
changed their mind

about me being
Jessica's godmother.

Oh, don't worry, Florence.
They said it was good news.

Oh. Maybe they
changed their mind

about Allan Willis
being the godfather.

George, don't be ridiculous.
Jenny's brother will make
a perfect godfather.

Sure he would,
if it wasn't for two things.

What two things?

Well, he's white,
and he ain't black.

Florence, what do I have to do
to stop you from moving?

Hand her a mop.

Hi, George.
Hi.

Are we late?

No, you're early.
Come back in 20 years.

Do you know what this meeting
with Lionel and Jenny
is all about?

I'm really lost.

Well, look, why don't you
take the elevator upstairs,
and you'll be home.

Did Jenny say anything
to you, Helen?

No, she just said
it was a big surprise.

I hope the baby
ain't startin'
to turn white.

Maybe Lionel won
some kind of award.

Oh, that ain't no surprise.
He's my son, ain't he?

Maybe he got another promotion.

Yeah, that ain't
no surprise, either.

He's still my son, ain't he?

I hope he didn't do
anything stupid.

Why would he do that?

Well, he's your son, ain't he?

You know, I can hardly wait
to see the look on their faces
when we tell them.

Oh, Lionel, I can't remember
when I've been this excited.

Yeah, me, neither,
except for one night
about 10 years ago.

Oh, you mean when you met me?

No, when the Mets
won the pennant.

Which one of these hats
do you think looks better?

Oh, this one.

Why?

'Cause it ain't got
your face under it.

Hey!
Hi!

Hi, kids.

Where's Jessica?

Oh, we left her with a sitter.

Oh, I would have
taken care of her.

Forget it, Florence.
You do too much
sittin' as it is.

So how's everybody?

Curious.

Yes, what's this mystery
all about?

Yeah, come on.
Hurry up and tell us.

Yeah, the suspense
is killing me.

On second thought,
take your time.

Okay, everybody, stop pushing.
Just give them a chance.

Okay, you've had
your chance.
What is it?

Okay, okay, we'll tell you.

Now, after a couple
has been married
a few years,

what is it they want
more than anything else?

A divorce?

Just kiddin', Weez.

Come on, you two, what is it?

We bought a home!
A co-op apartment.

Oh, that's
wonderful!
Oh, wow!

When did
you do that?
A week ago.

A week ago?
How could you
keep it a secret?

Yeah, I couldn't buy a home
without running out
and telling everybody.

You couldn't buy
a pair of pantyhose

without running out
and telling everybody.

See... See, we wanted
to surprise you.

Yeah, we figured if we told you,

you'd worry about
how many bedrooms
it has,

where is it,
if we can afford it.

Oh, don't be ridiculous.

How many bedrooms
does it have?
Where is it?

Can you afford it?

Two, right in this neighborhood,

and yes, if we budget carefully.

Well, congratulations.
That's great news.

Yeah, you start off
with that place,

then you trade it in
for a bigger
and better place,

and with a little luck,
you'll wind up like me.

And with a lot of luck,
you won't.

Excuse me.
I better go
fix this dress.

I want to look nice
for the christening.

Uh-huh. Then sew
a hood on it.

Oh, in all this excitement,
I forgot something upstairs.

Yeah, you forgot
to stay up there?

Now, listen here, George.

Oh, never mind.

Wait a minute. Whoa!
You got something to say
to me, say it to my face.

I don't know
if I can get down
that low.

I'll be right back.

What are you gonna go get, Mom?

Oh, I have a surprise,
but I'll give you a hint.

It's white,
something to wear,
and very, very, tiny.

And it's not
one of George's shirts.

Oh, hello, everybody.

Oh, excuse me, Mr. Bentley.
I was just leaving.

What a coincidence!
So was Bentley.

No, actually, Mr. J,
I'm returning something.

Here's your
Johnny Mathis album,
Mrs. J.

Oh, did it get your date
in a romantic mood?

Oh, it certainly did.
She went back
to her old boyfriend.

Hey, everybody,
let's have a drink
to celebrate.

Good idea. I wasn't really
that fond of her anyway.

Oh, no, Mr. Bentley.
We're celebrating Lionel
and Jenny's new purchase.

They just bought
a place of their own.

Oh, congratulations!

Thank you, Mr. Bentley.

Yes, I remember my first place.

Ah, that sense of pride
in ownership.

It was a place
I could call my own forever,

a place I would defend
to my last breath,

that I would fight for
with my last ounce
of strength!

Whatever became of it?

I sold it to the highest bidder.

Yeah, that reminds me
of our first place,
right, Weez?

The ceilings leaked,
the faucets dripped,
the floors creaked.

Yeah, I loved that place.

You did? It looked like an ad
for Better Homes and Ghettos!

Oh, I remember
how Helen and I struggled
in our first place.

It only had
one and a half baths.

No wonder you struggled.
How do you expect
to fit in half a bath?

Oh! Well, here it is,
Jessica's christening gown.

Oh, it's beautiful.

Oh, but I'm afraid
I have some bad news, too.

Allan called
while I was upstairs.

He got snowed in in Minneapolis,

and he can't make it
to the christening.

I thought you said
you had bad news.

Oh, I really wanted
Allan to be here.

Well, what are we
gonna do now?
We don't have a godfather.

We need a proxy.

A proxy?
What do we need
with glue?

No, Mr. J, a proxy,
someone to take
Allan's place.

Well, let's see.
Who could we get?

It should be somebody
close to the family.

Someone we all know and love.

Hey, how about
Mr. Bentley?

Who? Me?

Oh, I'd be honored.

Oh, yeah, that's great.

Look, you gotta get rid
of that cough by Saturday.

Oh, Mr. J,
I'm so excited.

Do you know
what I'm going to do?

Yep, leave.

Well,

I'm glad that Mr. Bentley
will be here,

but the christening
just won't be the same
without Allan.

Sure it will.
Bentley's white.

Hey, come on, everybody,
let's have a drink.

Oh, what a great idea.

Here, Helen.
Oh, thank you.

Louise.
Thank you.
Thanks, Tom.

Here, sweetheart.
Thank you, Daddy.

Now, come on.
Here's to happier things.
Oh, yeah.

To your new home.
Uh-huh.

Congratulations.

When do we get to see it?

How about right now?
I'll get the real estate agent
on the phone.

Oh, he's really excited
about our new place.

I'll say. It's almost like
he's a father all over again.

Next thing you know,
he'll be passing out cigars
that say, "It's a co-op."

What? But why?

Oh, no, but the bank said...

Well, you're damn right
I'll call them.

What's wrong?
Can't we get the key
to the place?

It looks like
we can't even get
the place.

What?

The bank turned down our loan.
They said I'm a bad risk.

Why would they say that?

I don't know,
but I'm calling up
Hudson Fidelity to find out.

Hello? Yeah,
let me talk
to Mr. Sweeney.

I can't understand
why they would turn
Lionel down.

Maybe he doesn't make
enough money.

A Jefferson not making
enough money? Impossible.

I don't know, George.
Sometimes banks can be
very tight with their money.

Oh, yeah?
What do banks
know about money?

Well?

Oh, they said
he's gone for the day,

but I'm going down there
tomorrow on my lunch hour

and get to the bottom of this.

Hey, wait, hold it, Lionel.
Look, I got a better idea.
We'll go down to my bank.

Or I can introduce you
to my banker, Lionel.

Look, I got
the loan by myself,
I lost it by myself,

and I'm gonna try
to get it back
by myself, okay?

But couldn't we help you
do it by yourself?

Look, Mom,
I'm not a kid anymore.

Now, I appreciate your offer,
but this is my problem,

and I'm gonna work it out
on my own. Let's go, Jen.

I gotta think this thing out.

Well, uh, see you later.

Oh, Tom.

Tom, maybe we should go down
to Hudson Fidelity and talk
to this Mr. Sweeney.

Maybe we can help Lionel
get his loan.

No, no, not you two.

This calls for somebody
that's bright and clever,
knows how to handle people.

You're right, George.
You do it, Louise.

No, you heard what Lionel said.

He doesn't want
any of us to interfere.

Oh, but, Louise...
Come on, Tom.

Louise is right.
We should stay out of it.

After all, you always fought
your own battles, didn't you?

Uh, no, I had an older sister.

Oh...

And, George,
I want you to promise
not to interfere.

Now, Weez,
when was the last time

I did something
you didn't want me to do?

A.m. or p.m.?

Well, how's the first day
on the job goin',
Miss Hawkins?

Oh, okay. I'm
a little nervous, though.

You got nothing to worry about.

I'm here to protect you.

Mr. Sweeney?
Yes.

Hi. George Jefferson.

Jefferson Cleaners,
seven stores
throughout the city.

You own
Jefferson Cleaners?
That's right.

You ruined
one of my leisure suits.

Well, uh...

You look like too hard a worker

to be wearing
leisure suits anyway.

What can I do for you,
Mr. Jefferson?
I'm here about a loan.

For a new cleaning machine,
I hope.

Oh, good one.

Ah, what a great little toy.

Gift from my boss.

Oh, what's it do?

Drives me nuts.

Now, about your loan.

Oh, well, actually,
it's not for me.

It's for my son,
Lionel Jefferson.

Uh, you turned him down,
and he's got to have it,

so I'm here
to guarantee it myself.

Now, I have with me
my financial statement.

Okay.

Well, how
does it look?
Not too good.

What?

"A loaf of bread,
a head of lettuce"?

I'm sorry.
Grocery list.

Oh. Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.

Oh, yeah, by the way,

you gotta make sure
Lionel doesn't hear
anything about this.

Oh, I'm not sure
that's possible.

Well, why not?
I mean, I'll throw
some business your way.

My lips are sealed.
Let me get the file.

Ha! Ha!
Thank you.

I don't believe...

Oh, Lord!

Here we go, Mr...

Where did he go?
Who?

The man
who was sitting here.
He was just...

Never mind.
What can I do for you?

Well, my name
is Louise Jefferson,

and I'm here about
my son Lionel's loan.

Lionel? Lionel Jefferson?

I know he was turned down,
but I'm here
to cosign for him.

All right, Mrs. Jefferson,
I'll go get the forms we need.

Oh, and it has to be
absolutely confidential.

Somehow I knew that.

Who are you?

I'm Helen Willis,

and I'm here about
a loan for my son-in-law,
Lionel Jefferson.

I should have guessed.

What?

Well, just a minute ago...

Hey, lady, you okay?

Oh. Uh, yeah.
I was just scratching
my back.

All right, Mrs. Willis.
I'll go and get the form.

You'll be here when I get back?

Of course.
Why should I leave?

Who knows?

You'll be here?

I promise.

I'll just play with this
until you get back. Oh!

She promised me
she wouldn't leave.

I beg your pardon?

Never mind.

At least I know
you're not here
for the Jefferson loan.

Why, yes, I am.

How did you know?

Hey, am I on Candid Camera
or something?

Pardon?

Shh!

I know, shh!

Oh, I always wanted
one of these for my desk.

Take it. It's yours.

Oh, no, I couldn't.

Sir, can I help you?

Sir?

What can I do for you, sir?

Shh! I don't want
anybody to see me.

Uh, sir, would you like
to make a deposit?

I'm not here to put money in.

Oh, that's what I was afraid of.

Oh, Lord, he almost saw me.
If they see me,
they'll kill me.

Oh, my God!
No shooting, please!

What are you doing?

Take the money!
Just don't use your gun!

Gun!
What gun?

He's got a gun!

All right, you!
Hold it!

George!
George!

George!
Okay, buster,
what's your name?

Why, Helen, Louise,
what are you doing here?

I was just gonna ask you
the same thing.

I know why you're all here.
You should be ashamed
of yourselves.

Don't you think
Lionel can handle
his own business?

Well, George,
what are you doing here?

Robbing a bank?

It's all right.
Move along.

Oh, this damn cuff link.
Look at that.

Oh, here,
let me help you.
Thanks, Weez.

Am I on time?

After yesterday,
you're lucky you're not
on bread and water.

Compared to Florence's
cooking, that would be
a gourmet meal.

Thanks. I got it.
I got it.

Are the kids here yet?
Uh-uh.

No, they're due any second.

Now, remember,
we don't know anything
about Lionel's loan.

Oh, I hope I can act surprised.

That's easy.

Just pretend
the doctor told you
you lost a pound.

Well, I'm all ready
for the christening.

Oh, Florence,
you look wonderful.

Oh, thank you, Miss Willis.

Are you sure
this hemline
ain't too high?

I don't want the Lord
to think I'm a fast woman.

Don't worry
about it, Florence.
He's seen you work.

George, stop that!

Oh, that's okay, Miss Jefferson.

What can you expect
from a man
with ears like that?

What's the matter with my ears?

You ain't got nothin'
between them.

Oh, that must be
Lionel and Jenny.

Everybody act natural.

Except you, George.
You behave.

Oh, hi, kids.
Oh, my goodness!
Baby!

- Look at the baby!
- Jessica.

Oh, you two look happy.
You must have
good news, huh?

Yeah, how'd you know?

Well, lucky guess.

It's about the loan.

The loan?
What loan?

The loan on the co-op.

Oh, that loan.

Yeah, it's been approved.

What? Boy,
am I surprised!

Ain't you surprised, Weez?

Oh, yes, I'm surprised.

We're all so surprised.

Aren't you surprised, Tom?

Hmm? Oh, yes! Oh!

Oh, I'll say. Why... Why,
you could have knocked me
over with a feather.

They couldn't
knock you over
with a whole bird.

You know... You know,
it was a lot easier
than I thought.

I just walked in,
talked to Mr. Sweeney,

and I had that loan back
in 10 minutes.

Oh, now, Lionel,
you know that isn't true.

It only took you five minutes.

Oh, Lionel, that's wonderful.

Oh, we better get Jessica
in her christening gown.

It's upstairs.
I'll go with you.

Are you sure
you don't wanna stay here
and listen to Lionel brag?

Jenny, when you come through,
it ain't braggin'.

All right!

Oh, Lionel,
we're so proud of you.

Oh, thanks, but I know
who's really responsible.

You do?

Yeah, Pop, I know
what you did for me.

You do?
Sure. Hey, and I
really appreciate it.

You do?
Yeah, well, you're the one
that always taught me

the way to solve a problem,
meet it head on.

Oh! Oh, yeah.
Yeah.

Oh, hell, it sounds like
you had that loan officer
eating right out of your hand.

Yeah, I guess so.

You know, he even
gave me this little game
he had on his desk.

Oh, that stupid
metal ball thing?

Yeah, yeah, the metal...

Pop, how did you know that?

Oh, lucky guess.

No, Pop, you went down there
and talked to Mr. Sweeney,
didn't you?

Oh, look, Lionel...
Damn, Pop!

You arranged the whole thing!

No, I didn't!
They helped, too!

In fact,
it was all Willis' fault.

My fault?

That's right.
If you would've torn up
Sweeney's card,

we never would've known
where to go.

Now, listen here, George...

Lionel, where are you going?

Why should I tell you?
You'd only interfere!

Oh, hello, Lionel.
Nice talking to you.

What a glorious day
for a christening.

Shut up, Bentley.

Well, that's one man's opinion.

How are you, Mrs. J?

Glad to hear it.

Lionel, don't you think
you are overreacting?

Overreacting?

You let me go down there
and make a fool out of myself

in front of the people
at the bank,

then come back
and make a fool out of myself
in front of you!

Look, I know your pride is hurt,

but we were just trying to help.

"Trying to help,"
but you did it all.

Look, Mom, I am over 21 now.

When? When are you
gonna stop trying
to hold my hand?

Lionel, I'm not trying
to hold your hand.

All right, Lionel,
I know we were wrong

to go to the bank
behind your back.

Huh! No kidding.

But we only did it
because we love you.

Can't you understand that?

Your father and I
brought you into this world,

clothed you, fed you,
took care of you
for most of your life.

It's not that easy to let go.

Okay, look, Mom, I appreciate
everything you've done for me.

I really do.
But from now on,
do me a favor.

Let me run my own life.

Okay. If that's
what you want,

I promise
I'll never interfere
in your life again,

but you have to promise me
something, too.

Name it.

You have to promise me
that when Jessica turns 21,

you'll never try
to help her with anything.

Oh, hi, you two.
Well, here she is.

Daddy's little girl.

Yeah, she is
Daddy's little girl,

and I guess she always will be.

Well, come on,
Daddy's little girl.

Uh, Mom,
I don't know
what to say.

Don't say anything.
Just let us help you
with the loan.

The loan?
Did he find out?

Look, Lionel,
I'm sorry.
Helen and I are, too.

No, no, I'm the one
who should be sorry.

Oh, you want us to help?

Well, hey, I... I guess
that's what parents
are for, huh?

Hey, all right!

What's going on out here?

I'll explain it
to you on the way.

Oh, I hope everything goes well.

A good christening means
good things will follow.

Oh, not always.

My grandfather went
to a wonderful christening
that ended horribly.

Whose christening
was that?
The Titanic's.

Lionel, look, from now on,
I promise you

we won't interfere.
We're gonna let you
run your life.

That's right.
No more interfering.

Right.

Maybe on the way back
from the church,

we can show everybody
our new place.

Oh, that's a great idea.
I can hardly wait to see it.

Well, don't get too excited.

It still needs
wallpaper and drapes.

Oh, Jenny, your father and I
would love to get you
new wallpaper

as a housewarming gift.

And I'll get you the drapes.

And I'll throw in a new carpet.

Carpet?
That ain't nothin'.

Hell, I'm gonna buy
a whole new living room set.

Ain't nothing too good
for my son.

Pop, I thought you just said
you were gonna let me
run my own life.

I am, Lionel.
You can pick out
whatever furniture you want.

♪ Movin', movin' on up ♪

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