The Jeffersons (1975–1985): Season 5, Episode 8 - Half a Brother - full transcript
George is up for a nomination as a member of the Board of Directors of his bank. When the Bank President's daughter takes an interest in Alan, he tries to keep them apart.
♪ WELL, WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO A DELUXE APARTMENT ♪
♪ IN THE SKY ♪
♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ WE FINALLY GOT A PIECE
OF THE PIE ♪
♪ FISH DON'T FRY
IN THE KITCHEN ♪
♪ BEANS DON'T BURN
ON THE GRILL ♪
♪ TOOK A WHOLE LOT OF TRYIN' ♪
THAT HILL ♪
GET UP
♪ JUST TO
♪ NOW WE'RE UP
IN THE BIG LEAGUES ♪
♪ GETTIN' OUR TURN AT BAT ♪
♪ AS LONG AS WE LIVE ♪
♪ IT'S YOU AND ME, BABY ♪
♪ THERE AIN'T
NOTHIN' WRONG WITH THAT ♪
♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO A DELUXE APARTMENT ♪
♪ IN THE SKY ♪
♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ WE FINALLY GOT A PIECE
OF THE PIE ♪♪
LET'S MEASURE
THE OTHER FOOT.
THEY'RE BOTH
THE SAME SIZE.
NOT TRUE.
IF YOU WANT EACH MOCCASIN
TO FIT LIKE A GLOVE...
GLOVE? I'M NOT WEARING
THEM ON MY HANDS.
THEN I HAVE
EVERYTHING I NEED.
YOU CAN GO BACK TO WORK.
IN THAT CASE, YOU BETTER
CHECK THE OTHER ONE.
WOULD YOU GET THAT?
I WANT TO ENJOY HAVING
A MAN AT MY FEET.
HELLO?
JUST A MINUTE.
ALLAN, IT'S FOR YOU.
TELL HER HE'S BUSY.
HOW DO YOU KNOW
IT'S A HER?
LOVESICK FEMALES
ALWAYS CALL HIM.
IT'S SUSAN RAFFERTY.
THAT'S TWO HOURS ON THE PHONE.
TELL HER I'M NOT HERE.
I'D RATHER NOT LIE.
I CAN FIX THAT.
I'M SORRY,
ALLAN STEPPED OUT.
I'LL TELL HIM YOU CALLED
AS SOON AS HE GETS BACK.
ALLAN, SUSAN RAFFERTY
JUST CALLED.
SHOOT.
SORRY I MISSED HER.
WEEZ, I GOT
SOME GREAT NEWS.
FLORENCE, CLEAN UP.
THAT DON'T SOUND
LIKE GREAT NEWS.
YOUR BODY SHOULD MOVE
AS QUICK AS YOUR MOUTH!
WHAT NEWS?
MY BANK MAY PUT ME
ON THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS.
CONGRATULATIONS!
I HAVE
TO PASS THE TEST.
PHIL TAYLOR IS COMING
TO CHECK MY QUALIFICATIONS.
QUALIFICATIONS?
LIKE HAVING A WELL-DRESSED WIFE,
A MAID.
IT'S TRUE!
MONEY TALKS.
THEN I SHOULDN'T HEAR
A WORD FROM YOU!
CLEAN UP THIS JUNK!
PUT ON
THAT LONG BLACK DRESS.
THAT'S AN EVENING GOWN.
IT'S STILL DAYTIME.
WE JUST CLOSE
THE CURTAINS!
HE'LL THINK I SIT AROUND
IN AN EVENING GOWN.
IT'S EXPENSIVE,
AIN'T IT?
I WON'T HELP YOU
MAKE A FOOL
OF YOURSELF.
HE DON'T NEED
NO HELP WITH THAT.
DON'T SIT THERE
UGLYING UP THE PLACE.
GIVE ALLAN A HAND.
THAT'S TAYLOR!
FLORENCE, GET BACK HERE.
MAKE UP YOUR MIND!
ANSWER THE DOOR.
NOT YET!
OK.
HOLD IT!
WEEZY,
GET OUT HERE.
OK, FLORENCE.
ARE YOU SURE
THIS TIME?
FLORENCE,
OPEN THE DOOR!
SMILE.
FLORENCE, WE THOUGHT
THERE WAS NOBODY HOME!
THERE AIN'T.
SEE YOU.
GEORGE!
WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO
TO AN ANTIQUE SALE?
SHE'S GOT TO MEET
MR. TAYLOR.
THANKS ANYWAY.
WHO?
HE'S FROM
GEORGE'S BANK.
GEORGE MAY BE
ON THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS.
CONGRATULATIONS, GEORGE!
YOU'RE TAKING A REAL STEP UP.
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE
A REAL STEP OUT?
COME ON, TOM.
LOUISE, TELL ALLAN
I MADE HIM SOME
CREAM PUFFS.
IF YOU'RE TRYING
TO BRIBE HIM
WITH CREAM PUFFS,
IT WON'T WORK.
WHY NOT?
I ALREADY ATE THEM.
THERE SHOULD BE
SOME GREAT BUYS
AT THE SALE!
I SAID LOOK.
I NEVER SAID BUY.
WHAT WAS THAT WORD?
BUY?
BYE!
THE WAY YOU ACT,
I'M SURPRISED THEY VISIT!
YEAH. WON'T THEY
EVER LEARN?
THEY ALWAYS CATCH ME
AT THE WRONG TIME.
WITH YOU,
THAT'S ANY DAY!
FLORENCE.
12 MONTHS A YEAR.
YEAR IN
AND YEAR OUT.
FLORENCE!
DAMN THOSE WILLISES!
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
PARDON?
I MEAN,
WHY ARE YOU
STANDING OUT THERE?
COME IN,
MR. TAYLOR.
THANK YOU, GEORGE.
THIS IS
MY DARLING WIFE,
LOUISE.
HELLO, MR. TAYLOR.
I'M PHIL.
NO NEED
FOR FORMALITIES.
IN THAT CASE, PHIL,
I'M FLORENCE.
HOW ARE YOU?
I'M FINE.
MR. JEFFERSON'S
THE NERVOUS WRECK.
I AIN'T NERVOUS.
GO FIX MR. DRINK
A TAYLOR.
DON'T BOTHER.
I CAN'T STAY LONG.
HAVE A SEAT.
JUST RELAX, GEORGE.
DON'T TREAT ME LIKE
SOMEBODY SPECIAL.
WE KNOW
YOU'RE NOBODY SPECIAL.
I MEAN,
NOT TO US.
YOU'RE...
DON'T BE NERVOUS!
WE'RE YOUR FRIENDS
AT THE BANK.
WE'RE PROUD.
YOU'RE A REAL SUCCESS STORY!
I WORKED HARD.
YOU BUILT ONE STORE
INTO A THRIVING CHAIN.
ALL THOSE YEARS,
SOMEBODY STOOD BY MY SIDE,
NO MATTER
HOW BAD THINGS GOT.
OTHERWISE,
I WOULDN'T HAVE MADE IT.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL
MR. TAYLOR THAT.
BUT IT'S TRUE.
WHERE WOULD I BE
WITHOUT THE BANK?
YEAH?
HI, I'M...
DEBBIE.
HI, DADDY.
THEY TOLD ME
YOU WERE HERE.
THIS IS MY DAUGHTER
DEBBIE.
YOU HAD PLANS.
I FORGOT SOMETHING
IMPORTANT.
WHAT?
COULD I BORROW
SOME MONEY?
WHAT DO YOU HAVE
FOR COLLATERAL?
HOW ABOUT
A KISS?
HERE YOU GO.
HOW ABOUT
TWO KISSES?
THANKS.
HAS ANYBODY SEEN
A NEEDLE AROUND HERE?
I LEFT IT WHILE I WAS...
HELLO!
ALLAN, THIS IS
DEBBIE TAYLOR
AND HER FATHER...
CALL ME PHIL.
PLEASED
TO MEET YOU, PHIL.
I GUESS I'D BETTER
GET GOING.
ALREADY?
WE JUST MET.
I'M GOING
TO THE CRAFT FAIR.
CRAFT FAIR?
WHAT DO YOU MAKE?
JEWELRY.
I MADE MY NECKLACE.
VERY PRETTY.
THANKS.
THE NECKLACE
IS GREAT, TOO.
I NEED TO GET
SOME LEATHER SUPPLIES.
COULD I GO WITH YOU?
I'D LOVE
SOME COMPANY.
SUPER.
A REAL PLEASURE
MEETING YOU, PHIL.
SEE YOU.
ALLAN SEEMS LIKE
A NICE YOUNG MAN.
WE LOVE HAVING HIM
STAYING HERE.
HE LIVES HERE?
ALLAN'S FATHER
IS ALWAYS FIGHTING
WITH HIM.
I SUGGESTED
HE MOVE HERE
UNTIL THEY
PATCH THINGS UP.
GEORGE, THAT SHOWS
A LOT OF UNDERSTANDING.
THERE'S NOBODY
MORE UNDERSTANDING
THAN ME!
I'M GLAD I CAME OVER
TO SEE YOU.
WE'LL VOTE
AT THE MEETING THIS TUESDAY.
IN MY OPINION,
YOU HAVE EVERYTHING
WE'RE LOOKING FOR.
WE'LL SEE MORE
OF EACH OTHER.
I THINK DEBBIE WILL BE
SEEING MORE OF ALLAN, TOO.
THEY SEEM TO HIT IT OFF.
I'LL SEE YOU.
BYE, LOUISE.
I DID IT!
FLORENCE!
YEAH?
GET ME SOME CHAMPAGNE.
I'LL BE ON
THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS!
IT'S NOT FINAL.
HE SAID EVERYTHING
IS IN MY FAVOR,
INCLUDIN' ALLAN.
THAT KID HAS
A WAY WITH WOMEN!
WELL, MAYBE
NOW YOU'LL STOP
CALLING HIM "ZEBRA."
YEAH, WELL...
I FORGOT
ABOUT THAT!
WHAT?
THAT TWO-TONED TURKEY
IS WITH TAYLOR'S
ALL-WHITE DAUGHTER.
SO WHAT?
ALLAN'S 50% BLACK
AND 50% WHITE,
WHICH WILL BE 100% TROUBLE
WHEN TAYLOR FINDS OUT.
DAMN! THERE GOES
MY BOARD OF DIRECTORS!
HERE'S YOUR CHAMPAGNE.
GET RID OF IT.
YOU'RE THE BOSS.
DAMN!
IT'S ALMOST 5:00.
WHERE ARE THEY?
RELAX.
I CAN'T RELAX.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
I JUST FOUND ALLAN'S NEEDLE.
I'M GOING TO SEE IF
TOM AND HELEN ARE HOME.
I HAVE TO KEEP TAYLOR
FROM MEETING ALLAN
TILL AFTER THE BOARD
OF DIRECTORS MEETING.
MR. TAYLOR DOESN'T
SEEM LIKE A BIGOT.
WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT BIGOTS.
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT ZEBRAS!
I HOPE ALLAN AIN'T SHOWED
HIS TRUE STRIPES TO DEBBIE.
HUT, TWO, THREE, FOUR!
COMPANY... HALT.
WHERE DID
YOU GET THAT?
AT THE CRAFT FAIR.
HEY.
I'M GOING TO SEE
YOUR PARENTS.
I'D LOVE TO MEET THEM.
NO, YOU WOULDN'T.
I WANT TO HEAR
ABOUT YOUR AFTERNOON.
COME IN THE KITCHEN.
I WANT TO SPEAK
TO ALLAN ALONE.
WHY?
I WANT YOU TO MAKE DEBBIE
ONE OF YOUR PROTEIN DRINKS.
YOU'LL LOVE IT!
COME ON.
BE RIGHT BACK!
HOW WAS YOUR AFTERNOON
WITH DEBBIE?
FINE.
FOUR HOURS
IS A LONG TIME.
YOU MUST HAVE
TALKED A LOT.
YEAH.
DO YOU WANT ONE?
NO, HEALTH DRINKS
MAKE ME SICK.
FIND OUT
MUCH ABOUT HER?
YEAH.
DID SHE FIND OUT
MUCH ABOUT YOU?
IS THIS
20 QUESTIONS?
I WANT TO KNOW
ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS.
MOST PEOPLE ARE EASY
TO FIGURE OUT.
SOMEONE WITH FEATHERS
IN HIS HAIR
AND A PAINTED FACE
IS AN INDIAN.
OR A ROCK STAR
OR STEVE MARTIN...
FOR EXAMPLE,
TAKE YOU.
PEOPLE WOULDN'T KNOW
WHAT YOU WERE.
THAT I'M TAURUS THE BULL?
THAT YOU'RE ALLAN
THE ZE...
YOU KNOW.
I MEAN THAT YOU'RE
BLACK AND WHITE.
NOBODY WOULD KNOW THAT
UNLESS I TOLD THEM.
DID YOU
TELL DEBBIE?
IT NEVER OCCURRED TO ME.
IF YOU THINK SHE'D CARE,
I'LL TELL HER NOW.
UGH, THANKS.
I THOUGHT
YOU DIDN'T LIKE THAT.
I'LL TAKE
DEBBIE HER DRINK.
YOU MAKE ANOTHER.
DEBBIE, NICE MEETING YOU.
STOP IN AND SEE US
AGAIN SOMETIME.
I THOUGHT ALLAN...
HE'S MAKING DINNER.
HE'LL BE BUSY
FOR HOURS.
SHOULDN'T I SAY
GOOD-BYE?
OK, GOOD-BYE.
IS ALLAN TRYING
TO GET RID OF ME?
HE DOESN'T WANT
TO UPSET YOUR FATHER.
WHAT'S DADDY
GOT TO DO WITH THIS?
EVERYTHING!
ALLAN FEELS YOU TWO
AIN'T RIGHT FOR EACH OTHER.
THERE ARE MORE FISH
IN THE SEA.
SURE.
BYE.
GOOD-BYE.
WHERE'S DEBBIE?
SHE SPLIT.
SPLIT? WHY?
WHO KNOWS
WITH CHICKS
THESE DAYS?
DIDN'T SHE
SAY ANYTHING?
YEAH, SHE SAID
GOOD-BYE.
JUST LIKE THAT?
YEAH.
LIVE AND LEARN.
THERE ARE A LOT MORE
FISH ON THE BEACH.
TOO BAD
ABOUT DEBBIE.
YOU WIN SOME,
YOU LOSE SOME.
MINE USUALLY
GET RAINED OUT.
YOUR PARENTS
STILL AREN'T HOME.
I'LL GET STARTED
ON YOUR MOCCASINS, FLORENCE.
YOU'RE CLOSER.
OH, MR. TAYLOR.
WHAT A SURPRISE!
NOW, NOW.
IT'S "PHIL."
IS GEORGE HOME?
TELL MR. JEFFERSON
PHIL'S HERE.
SURE.
MR. JEFFERSON,
PHIL'S HERE!
COME IN AND SIT DOWN.
THANK YOU.
WE WEREN'T
EXPECTING YOU
SO SOON.
I THOUGHT I'D ASK GEORGE
A FEW QUESTIONS.
PHIL,
HOW'S IT GOING?
FINE. LISTEN,
COULD WE TALK?
SURE, PHIL.
FLORENCE,
THEY WANT TO TALK.
I WON'T INTERRUPT.
COME WITH ME.
WHAT'S ON
YOUR MIND, PHIL?
DEBBIE SAYS
YOU DON'T WANT HER
TO SEE ALLAN ANYMORE.
I SAID THAT?
IT HAD SOMETHING
TO DO WITH ME.
IT DOES.
OUR BANK BELIEVES IN
BEING STRAIGHTFORWARD.
SOMETIMES PEOPLE
AIN'T ALWAYS
WHAT THEY SEEM.
IF YOU WERE A FRIEND
AND KEPT SOMETHING
FROM ME,
IT WOULD CHANGE
MY OPINION.
ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME
SOMEBODY'S HIDING SOMETHING?
EXACTLY.
IT ISN'T DEBBIE.
RIGHT.
IF YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT
THOSE EMBEZZLED SECURITIES
IN MY SWISS ACCOUNT,
THE GRAND JURY SAID
THAT I WAS INNOCENT.
I WASN'T TALKIN' ABOUT
NO EMBEZZLED SECURITIES.
THEN IT WAS
THE PHONY INSURANCE SCHEME.
THAT WASN'T MY IDEA.
I WASN'T TALKIN'
ABOUT THAT.
THEN WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE
THAT BLACKS AND WHITES
SHOULDN'T BE TOGETHER.
YOU'RE AFRAID
THAT I MIGHT BE PREJUDICED.
YOU CAN PUT THAT THOUGHT
OUT OF YOUR MIND.
WE'RE ALL THE SAME
UNDERNEATH.
YOU DON'T MIND
BLACKS AND WHITES
BEIN' MIXED.
I THINK IT'S TIME
WE GOT THE TWO TOGETHER.
IT'LL BE AN HONOR
BEING ON THE BOARD.
WELL, THANK YOU.
NOW DEBBIE AND ALLAN
CAN GO OUT AGAIN?
SURE, WHY NOT?
BEFORE YOU THROW
US OUT,
COULD WE SEE LOUISE?
TOM! HELEN!
WE BOUGHT
A CLOCK.
WE'LL COME BACK
LATER.
COME IN!
PHIL TAYLOR,
THESE ARE MY TWO GOOD FRIENDS
TOM AND HELEN WILLIS.
TOM.
HELEN.
DON'T THEY MAKE
A HANDSOME COUPLE?
DID I HEAR THE...
I DON'T BELIEVE IT!
AIN'T THIS
A NICE SURPRISE?
IT SURE IS.
HOW ABOUT A DRINK?
I'LL GET SOME ICE.
LOOK AT THIS CLOCK,
LOUISE.
IT'S BEAUTIFUL!
WHAT A LOVELY FACE!
IT'S WRINKLED,
BUT HAS CHARACTER.
IT REMINDED ME
OF HELEN'S MOTHER.
IT'S LIKE
YOUR MOTHER'S CLOCK.
HI, PHIL.
HI, MOM.
HELLO, SON.
THESE ARE YOUR PARENTS?
YES.
HAVEN'T YOU MET?
GEORGE DIDN'T TELL ME
THIS WAS YOUR FATHER
AND STEPMOTHER.
I'M NOT ALLAN'S
STEPMOTHER.
OH, I SEE.
WELL, I THINK ADOPTION
IS WONDERFUL.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
ALLAN'S NOT ADOPTED.
NO KIDDING?
NO KIDDING.
WILL YOU EXCUSE ME?
I'LL HELP GEORGE
WITH THE ICE.
GEORGE, ABOUT
ALLAN'S PARENTS...
YEAH, I KNOW.
AIN'T THEY A GREAT COUPLE?
YEAH, BUT ABOUT
ALLAN AND DEBBIE...
WE GOT TO GET THEM
BACK TOGETHER.
I THINK WE OUGHT TO LET
WELL ENOUGH ALONE.
I REALLY DON'T THINK
DEBBIE AND ALLAN ARE
RIGHT FOR EACH OTHER.
NO?
NO.
NEITHER DO I.
WAIT A MINUTE!
THAT'S WHY
YOU DIDN'T WANT
DEBBIE GOING OUT
WITH ALLAN.
YOU KNEW ABOUT
ALLAN'S PARENTS.
YOU DON'T WANT
THEM TOGETHER.
I KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE.
MY SON'S MARRIED
TO A ZEBRA.
A ZEBRA?
HALF BLACK
AND HALF WHITE.
REALLY?
IT AIN'T NO PROBLEM.
HER WHITE
DON'T SHOW THROUGH.
I APPRECIATE
WHAT YOU TRIED
TO DO FOR ME.
NO PROBLEM,
OLD BUDDY.
IF I TOLD DEBBIE
NOT TO DATE ALLAN
BECAUSE HE'S BLACK,
SHE'D KEEP DOING IT
TO SPITE ME, RIGHT?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
"BECAUSE ALLAN'S BLACK"?
HIS MOTHER'S BLACK.
THE BAD PART IS
HIS FATHER IS WHITE.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
IF DEBBIE AND ALLAN
GOT MARRIED,
THEY COULD HAVE
A BLACK BABY.
WHAT'S WRONG
WITH A BLACK BABY?
NOTHING,
IF YOU'RE BLACK.
IF YOUR SON
HAD A BLACK KID,
THAT'S FINE.
IF IT'S WHITE?
THEN YOU'RE
A FEW POINTS AHEAD!
IF DEBBIE HAD
A BLACK BABY...
YOUR DAUGHTER
IS TOO GOOD FOR THAT?
LOOK, I'M LIBERAL,
BUT THERE ARE LIMITS.
LIKE WHAT, HONKY?
WE TAYLORS ARE AN OLD
AND PROMINENT FAMILY...
WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?
I CALLED YOU
A TWO-FACED HONKY
WHO'S TOO DUMB TO REALIZE
BLACK IS BEAUTIFUL.
I'D BETTER LEAVE.
WAIT A MINUTE.
YOU AIN'T LEAVIN'.
I'M THROWING YOU OUT.
HE SHOWED
HIS TRUE COLOR.
DON'T LISTEN, PHIL.
"MR. TAYLOR"
TO YOU, BOY.
WHO ARE YOU
CALLING "BOY"?
RIGHT ON, BABY.
LET ME HANDLE THIS,
WILLIS.
CHUMP, ALLAN WON'T
DATE YOUR DAUGHTER
BECAUSE I SAID SO.
HE'S TOO GOOD
FOR YOUR BLUE-BLOODED FAMILY.
YOU CAN FORGET ABOUT
GETTING ON ANY BOARD,
EXCEPT FOR THE IRONING BOARD
AT YOUR LOUSY LAUNDRY.
HE'S HOT
UNDER THE COLLAR.
I'LL COOL HIM OFF.
GEORGE,
I'M SO PROUD OF YOU.
SOMETIMES
YOU'RE VERY NOBLE.
YOU REALLY
LIKE ALLAN.
THANKS FOR
STANDIN' UP FOR ME.
I ONLY STAND UP
FOR THE BLACK PART OF YOU!
THAT'S BETTER
THAN NOTHIN'.
GIVE ME SOME SKIN,
BROTHER!
HALF A BROTHER.
THE JEFFERSONS WAS VIDEOTAPED
IN FRONT OF A STUDIO AUDIENCE.
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO A DELUXE APARTMENT ♪
♪ IN THE SKY ♪
♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ WE FINALLY GOT A PIECE
OF THE PIE ♪
♪ FISH DON'T FRY
IN THE KITCHEN ♪
♪ BEANS DON'T BURN
ON THE GRILL ♪
♪ TOOK A WHOLE LOT OF TRYIN' ♪
THAT HILL ♪
GET UP
♪ JUST TO
♪ NOW WE'RE UP
IN THE BIG LEAGUES ♪
♪ GETTIN' OUR TURN AT BAT ♪
♪ AS LONG AS WE LIVE ♪
♪ IT'S YOU AND ME, BABY ♪
♪ THERE AIN'T
NOTHIN' WRONG WITH THAT ♪
♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO A DELUXE APARTMENT ♪
♪ IN THE SKY ♪
♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ WE FINALLY GOT A PIECE
OF THE PIE ♪♪
LET'S MEASURE
THE OTHER FOOT.
THEY'RE BOTH
THE SAME SIZE.
NOT TRUE.
IF YOU WANT EACH MOCCASIN
TO FIT LIKE A GLOVE...
GLOVE? I'M NOT WEARING
THEM ON MY HANDS.
THEN I HAVE
EVERYTHING I NEED.
YOU CAN GO BACK TO WORK.
IN THAT CASE, YOU BETTER
CHECK THE OTHER ONE.
WOULD YOU GET THAT?
I WANT TO ENJOY HAVING
A MAN AT MY FEET.
HELLO?
JUST A MINUTE.
ALLAN, IT'S FOR YOU.
TELL HER HE'S BUSY.
HOW DO YOU KNOW
IT'S A HER?
LOVESICK FEMALES
ALWAYS CALL HIM.
IT'S SUSAN RAFFERTY.
THAT'S TWO HOURS ON THE PHONE.
TELL HER I'M NOT HERE.
I'D RATHER NOT LIE.
I CAN FIX THAT.
I'M SORRY,
ALLAN STEPPED OUT.
I'LL TELL HIM YOU CALLED
AS SOON AS HE GETS BACK.
ALLAN, SUSAN RAFFERTY
JUST CALLED.
SHOOT.
SORRY I MISSED HER.
WEEZ, I GOT
SOME GREAT NEWS.
FLORENCE, CLEAN UP.
THAT DON'T SOUND
LIKE GREAT NEWS.
YOUR BODY SHOULD MOVE
AS QUICK AS YOUR MOUTH!
WHAT NEWS?
MY BANK MAY PUT ME
ON THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS.
CONGRATULATIONS!
I HAVE
TO PASS THE TEST.
PHIL TAYLOR IS COMING
TO CHECK MY QUALIFICATIONS.
QUALIFICATIONS?
LIKE HAVING A WELL-DRESSED WIFE,
A MAID.
IT'S TRUE!
MONEY TALKS.
THEN I SHOULDN'T HEAR
A WORD FROM YOU!
CLEAN UP THIS JUNK!
PUT ON
THAT LONG BLACK DRESS.
THAT'S AN EVENING GOWN.
IT'S STILL DAYTIME.
WE JUST CLOSE
THE CURTAINS!
HE'LL THINK I SIT AROUND
IN AN EVENING GOWN.
IT'S EXPENSIVE,
AIN'T IT?
I WON'T HELP YOU
MAKE A FOOL
OF YOURSELF.
HE DON'T NEED
NO HELP WITH THAT.
DON'T SIT THERE
UGLYING UP THE PLACE.
GIVE ALLAN A HAND.
THAT'S TAYLOR!
FLORENCE, GET BACK HERE.
MAKE UP YOUR MIND!
ANSWER THE DOOR.
NOT YET!
OK.
HOLD IT!
WEEZY,
GET OUT HERE.
OK, FLORENCE.
ARE YOU SURE
THIS TIME?
FLORENCE,
OPEN THE DOOR!
SMILE.
FLORENCE, WE THOUGHT
THERE WAS NOBODY HOME!
THERE AIN'T.
SEE YOU.
GEORGE!
WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO
TO AN ANTIQUE SALE?
SHE'S GOT TO MEET
MR. TAYLOR.
THANKS ANYWAY.
WHO?
HE'S FROM
GEORGE'S BANK.
GEORGE MAY BE
ON THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS.
CONGRATULATIONS, GEORGE!
YOU'RE TAKING A REAL STEP UP.
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE
A REAL STEP OUT?
COME ON, TOM.
LOUISE, TELL ALLAN
I MADE HIM SOME
CREAM PUFFS.
IF YOU'RE TRYING
TO BRIBE HIM
WITH CREAM PUFFS,
IT WON'T WORK.
WHY NOT?
I ALREADY ATE THEM.
THERE SHOULD BE
SOME GREAT BUYS
AT THE SALE!
I SAID LOOK.
I NEVER SAID BUY.
WHAT WAS THAT WORD?
BUY?
BYE!
THE WAY YOU ACT,
I'M SURPRISED THEY VISIT!
YEAH. WON'T THEY
EVER LEARN?
THEY ALWAYS CATCH ME
AT THE WRONG TIME.
WITH YOU,
THAT'S ANY DAY!
FLORENCE.
12 MONTHS A YEAR.
YEAR IN
AND YEAR OUT.
FLORENCE!
DAMN THOSE WILLISES!
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
PARDON?
I MEAN,
WHY ARE YOU
STANDING OUT THERE?
COME IN,
MR. TAYLOR.
THANK YOU, GEORGE.
THIS IS
MY DARLING WIFE,
LOUISE.
HELLO, MR. TAYLOR.
I'M PHIL.
NO NEED
FOR FORMALITIES.
IN THAT CASE, PHIL,
I'M FLORENCE.
HOW ARE YOU?
I'M FINE.
MR. JEFFERSON'S
THE NERVOUS WRECK.
I AIN'T NERVOUS.
GO FIX MR. DRINK
A TAYLOR.
DON'T BOTHER.
I CAN'T STAY LONG.
HAVE A SEAT.
JUST RELAX, GEORGE.
DON'T TREAT ME LIKE
SOMEBODY SPECIAL.
WE KNOW
YOU'RE NOBODY SPECIAL.
I MEAN,
NOT TO US.
YOU'RE...
DON'T BE NERVOUS!
WE'RE YOUR FRIENDS
AT THE BANK.
WE'RE PROUD.
YOU'RE A REAL SUCCESS STORY!
I WORKED HARD.
YOU BUILT ONE STORE
INTO A THRIVING CHAIN.
ALL THOSE YEARS,
SOMEBODY STOOD BY MY SIDE,
NO MATTER
HOW BAD THINGS GOT.
OTHERWISE,
I WOULDN'T HAVE MADE IT.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL
MR. TAYLOR THAT.
BUT IT'S TRUE.
WHERE WOULD I BE
WITHOUT THE BANK?
YEAH?
HI, I'M...
DEBBIE.
HI, DADDY.
THEY TOLD ME
YOU WERE HERE.
THIS IS MY DAUGHTER
DEBBIE.
YOU HAD PLANS.
I FORGOT SOMETHING
IMPORTANT.
WHAT?
COULD I BORROW
SOME MONEY?
WHAT DO YOU HAVE
FOR COLLATERAL?
HOW ABOUT
A KISS?
HERE YOU GO.
HOW ABOUT
TWO KISSES?
THANKS.
HAS ANYBODY SEEN
A NEEDLE AROUND HERE?
I LEFT IT WHILE I WAS...
HELLO!
ALLAN, THIS IS
DEBBIE TAYLOR
AND HER FATHER...
CALL ME PHIL.
PLEASED
TO MEET YOU, PHIL.
I GUESS I'D BETTER
GET GOING.
ALREADY?
WE JUST MET.
I'M GOING
TO THE CRAFT FAIR.
CRAFT FAIR?
WHAT DO YOU MAKE?
JEWELRY.
I MADE MY NECKLACE.
VERY PRETTY.
THANKS.
THE NECKLACE
IS GREAT, TOO.
I NEED TO GET
SOME LEATHER SUPPLIES.
COULD I GO WITH YOU?
I'D LOVE
SOME COMPANY.
SUPER.
A REAL PLEASURE
MEETING YOU, PHIL.
SEE YOU.
ALLAN SEEMS LIKE
A NICE YOUNG MAN.
WE LOVE HAVING HIM
STAYING HERE.
HE LIVES HERE?
ALLAN'S FATHER
IS ALWAYS FIGHTING
WITH HIM.
I SUGGESTED
HE MOVE HERE
UNTIL THEY
PATCH THINGS UP.
GEORGE, THAT SHOWS
A LOT OF UNDERSTANDING.
THERE'S NOBODY
MORE UNDERSTANDING
THAN ME!
I'M GLAD I CAME OVER
TO SEE YOU.
WE'LL VOTE
AT THE MEETING THIS TUESDAY.
IN MY OPINION,
YOU HAVE EVERYTHING
WE'RE LOOKING FOR.
WE'LL SEE MORE
OF EACH OTHER.
I THINK DEBBIE WILL BE
SEEING MORE OF ALLAN, TOO.
THEY SEEM TO HIT IT OFF.
I'LL SEE YOU.
BYE, LOUISE.
I DID IT!
FLORENCE!
YEAH?
GET ME SOME CHAMPAGNE.
I'LL BE ON
THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS!
IT'S NOT FINAL.
HE SAID EVERYTHING
IS IN MY FAVOR,
INCLUDIN' ALLAN.
THAT KID HAS
A WAY WITH WOMEN!
WELL, MAYBE
NOW YOU'LL STOP
CALLING HIM "ZEBRA."
YEAH, WELL...
I FORGOT
ABOUT THAT!
WHAT?
THAT TWO-TONED TURKEY
IS WITH TAYLOR'S
ALL-WHITE DAUGHTER.
SO WHAT?
ALLAN'S 50% BLACK
AND 50% WHITE,
WHICH WILL BE 100% TROUBLE
WHEN TAYLOR FINDS OUT.
DAMN! THERE GOES
MY BOARD OF DIRECTORS!
HERE'S YOUR CHAMPAGNE.
GET RID OF IT.
YOU'RE THE BOSS.
DAMN!
IT'S ALMOST 5:00.
WHERE ARE THEY?
RELAX.
I CAN'T RELAX.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
I JUST FOUND ALLAN'S NEEDLE.
I'M GOING TO SEE IF
TOM AND HELEN ARE HOME.
I HAVE TO KEEP TAYLOR
FROM MEETING ALLAN
TILL AFTER THE BOARD
OF DIRECTORS MEETING.
MR. TAYLOR DOESN'T
SEEM LIKE A BIGOT.
WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT BIGOTS.
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT ZEBRAS!
I HOPE ALLAN AIN'T SHOWED
HIS TRUE STRIPES TO DEBBIE.
HUT, TWO, THREE, FOUR!
COMPANY... HALT.
WHERE DID
YOU GET THAT?
AT THE CRAFT FAIR.
HEY.
I'M GOING TO SEE
YOUR PARENTS.
I'D LOVE TO MEET THEM.
NO, YOU WOULDN'T.
I WANT TO HEAR
ABOUT YOUR AFTERNOON.
COME IN THE KITCHEN.
I WANT TO SPEAK
TO ALLAN ALONE.
WHY?
I WANT YOU TO MAKE DEBBIE
ONE OF YOUR PROTEIN DRINKS.
YOU'LL LOVE IT!
COME ON.
BE RIGHT BACK!
HOW WAS YOUR AFTERNOON
WITH DEBBIE?
FINE.
FOUR HOURS
IS A LONG TIME.
YOU MUST HAVE
TALKED A LOT.
YEAH.
DO YOU WANT ONE?
NO, HEALTH DRINKS
MAKE ME SICK.
FIND OUT
MUCH ABOUT HER?
YEAH.
DID SHE FIND OUT
MUCH ABOUT YOU?
IS THIS
20 QUESTIONS?
I WANT TO KNOW
ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS.
MOST PEOPLE ARE EASY
TO FIGURE OUT.
SOMEONE WITH FEATHERS
IN HIS HAIR
AND A PAINTED FACE
IS AN INDIAN.
OR A ROCK STAR
OR STEVE MARTIN...
FOR EXAMPLE,
TAKE YOU.
PEOPLE WOULDN'T KNOW
WHAT YOU WERE.
THAT I'M TAURUS THE BULL?
THAT YOU'RE ALLAN
THE ZE...
YOU KNOW.
I MEAN THAT YOU'RE
BLACK AND WHITE.
NOBODY WOULD KNOW THAT
UNLESS I TOLD THEM.
DID YOU
TELL DEBBIE?
IT NEVER OCCURRED TO ME.
IF YOU THINK SHE'D CARE,
I'LL TELL HER NOW.
UGH, THANKS.
I THOUGHT
YOU DIDN'T LIKE THAT.
I'LL TAKE
DEBBIE HER DRINK.
YOU MAKE ANOTHER.
DEBBIE, NICE MEETING YOU.
STOP IN AND SEE US
AGAIN SOMETIME.
I THOUGHT ALLAN...
HE'S MAKING DINNER.
HE'LL BE BUSY
FOR HOURS.
SHOULDN'T I SAY
GOOD-BYE?
OK, GOOD-BYE.
IS ALLAN TRYING
TO GET RID OF ME?
HE DOESN'T WANT
TO UPSET YOUR FATHER.
WHAT'S DADDY
GOT TO DO WITH THIS?
EVERYTHING!
ALLAN FEELS YOU TWO
AIN'T RIGHT FOR EACH OTHER.
THERE ARE MORE FISH
IN THE SEA.
SURE.
BYE.
GOOD-BYE.
WHERE'S DEBBIE?
SHE SPLIT.
SPLIT? WHY?
WHO KNOWS
WITH CHICKS
THESE DAYS?
DIDN'T SHE
SAY ANYTHING?
YEAH, SHE SAID
GOOD-BYE.
JUST LIKE THAT?
YEAH.
LIVE AND LEARN.
THERE ARE A LOT MORE
FISH ON THE BEACH.
TOO BAD
ABOUT DEBBIE.
YOU WIN SOME,
YOU LOSE SOME.
MINE USUALLY
GET RAINED OUT.
YOUR PARENTS
STILL AREN'T HOME.
I'LL GET STARTED
ON YOUR MOCCASINS, FLORENCE.
YOU'RE CLOSER.
OH, MR. TAYLOR.
WHAT A SURPRISE!
NOW, NOW.
IT'S "PHIL."
IS GEORGE HOME?
TELL MR. JEFFERSON
PHIL'S HERE.
SURE.
MR. JEFFERSON,
PHIL'S HERE!
COME IN AND SIT DOWN.
THANK YOU.
WE WEREN'T
EXPECTING YOU
SO SOON.
I THOUGHT I'D ASK GEORGE
A FEW QUESTIONS.
PHIL,
HOW'S IT GOING?
FINE. LISTEN,
COULD WE TALK?
SURE, PHIL.
FLORENCE,
THEY WANT TO TALK.
I WON'T INTERRUPT.
COME WITH ME.
WHAT'S ON
YOUR MIND, PHIL?
DEBBIE SAYS
YOU DON'T WANT HER
TO SEE ALLAN ANYMORE.
I SAID THAT?
IT HAD SOMETHING
TO DO WITH ME.
IT DOES.
OUR BANK BELIEVES IN
BEING STRAIGHTFORWARD.
SOMETIMES PEOPLE
AIN'T ALWAYS
WHAT THEY SEEM.
IF YOU WERE A FRIEND
AND KEPT SOMETHING
FROM ME,
IT WOULD CHANGE
MY OPINION.
ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME
SOMEBODY'S HIDING SOMETHING?
EXACTLY.
IT ISN'T DEBBIE.
RIGHT.
IF YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT
THOSE EMBEZZLED SECURITIES
IN MY SWISS ACCOUNT,
THE GRAND JURY SAID
THAT I WAS INNOCENT.
I WASN'T TALKIN' ABOUT
NO EMBEZZLED SECURITIES.
THEN IT WAS
THE PHONY INSURANCE SCHEME.
THAT WASN'T MY IDEA.
I WASN'T TALKIN'
ABOUT THAT.
THEN WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE
THAT BLACKS AND WHITES
SHOULDN'T BE TOGETHER.
YOU'RE AFRAID
THAT I MIGHT BE PREJUDICED.
YOU CAN PUT THAT THOUGHT
OUT OF YOUR MIND.
WE'RE ALL THE SAME
UNDERNEATH.
YOU DON'T MIND
BLACKS AND WHITES
BEIN' MIXED.
I THINK IT'S TIME
WE GOT THE TWO TOGETHER.
IT'LL BE AN HONOR
BEING ON THE BOARD.
WELL, THANK YOU.
NOW DEBBIE AND ALLAN
CAN GO OUT AGAIN?
SURE, WHY NOT?
BEFORE YOU THROW
US OUT,
COULD WE SEE LOUISE?
TOM! HELEN!
WE BOUGHT
A CLOCK.
WE'LL COME BACK
LATER.
COME IN!
PHIL TAYLOR,
THESE ARE MY TWO GOOD FRIENDS
TOM AND HELEN WILLIS.
TOM.
HELEN.
DON'T THEY MAKE
A HANDSOME COUPLE?
DID I HEAR THE...
I DON'T BELIEVE IT!
AIN'T THIS
A NICE SURPRISE?
IT SURE IS.
HOW ABOUT A DRINK?
I'LL GET SOME ICE.
LOOK AT THIS CLOCK,
LOUISE.
IT'S BEAUTIFUL!
WHAT A LOVELY FACE!
IT'S WRINKLED,
BUT HAS CHARACTER.
IT REMINDED ME
OF HELEN'S MOTHER.
IT'S LIKE
YOUR MOTHER'S CLOCK.
HI, PHIL.
HI, MOM.
HELLO, SON.
THESE ARE YOUR PARENTS?
YES.
HAVEN'T YOU MET?
GEORGE DIDN'T TELL ME
THIS WAS YOUR FATHER
AND STEPMOTHER.
I'M NOT ALLAN'S
STEPMOTHER.
OH, I SEE.
WELL, I THINK ADOPTION
IS WONDERFUL.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
ALLAN'S NOT ADOPTED.
NO KIDDING?
NO KIDDING.
WILL YOU EXCUSE ME?
I'LL HELP GEORGE
WITH THE ICE.
GEORGE, ABOUT
ALLAN'S PARENTS...
YEAH, I KNOW.
AIN'T THEY A GREAT COUPLE?
YEAH, BUT ABOUT
ALLAN AND DEBBIE...
WE GOT TO GET THEM
BACK TOGETHER.
I THINK WE OUGHT TO LET
WELL ENOUGH ALONE.
I REALLY DON'T THINK
DEBBIE AND ALLAN ARE
RIGHT FOR EACH OTHER.
NO?
NO.
NEITHER DO I.
WAIT A MINUTE!
THAT'S WHY
YOU DIDN'T WANT
DEBBIE GOING OUT
WITH ALLAN.
YOU KNEW ABOUT
ALLAN'S PARENTS.
YOU DON'T WANT
THEM TOGETHER.
I KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE.
MY SON'S MARRIED
TO A ZEBRA.
A ZEBRA?
HALF BLACK
AND HALF WHITE.
REALLY?
IT AIN'T NO PROBLEM.
HER WHITE
DON'T SHOW THROUGH.
I APPRECIATE
WHAT YOU TRIED
TO DO FOR ME.
NO PROBLEM,
OLD BUDDY.
IF I TOLD DEBBIE
NOT TO DATE ALLAN
BECAUSE HE'S BLACK,
SHE'D KEEP DOING IT
TO SPITE ME, RIGHT?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
"BECAUSE ALLAN'S BLACK"?
HIS MOTHER'S BLACK.
THE BAD PART IS
HIS FATHER IS WHITE.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
IF DEBBIE AND ALLAN
GOT MARRIED,
THEY COULD HAVE
A BLACK BABY.
WHAT'S WRONG
WITH A BLACK BABY?
NOTHING,
IF YOU'RE BLACK.
IF YOUR SON
HAD A BLACK KID,
THAT'S FINE.
IF IT'S WHITE?
THEN YOU'RE
A FEW POINTS AHEAD!
IF DEBBIE HAD
A BLACK BABY...
YOUR DAUGHTER
IS TOO GOOD FOR THAT?
LOOK, I'M LIBERAL,
BUT THERE ARE LIMITS.
LIKE WHAT, HONKY?
WE TAYLORS ARE AN OLD
AND PROMINENT FAMILY...
WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?
I CALLED YOU
A TWO-FACED HONKY
WHO'S TOO DUMB TO REALIZE
BLACK IS BEAUTIFUL.
I'D BETTER LEAVE.
WAIT A MINUTE.
YOU AIN'T LEAVIN'.
I'M THROWING YOU OUT.
HE SHOWED
HIS TRUE COLOR.
DON'T LISTEN, PHIL.
"MR. TAYLOR"
TO YOU, BOY.
WHO ARE YOU
CALLING "BOY"?
RIGHT ON, BABY.
LET ME HANDLE THIS,
WILLIS.
CHUMP, ALLAN WON'T
DATE YOUR DAUGHTER
BECAUSE I SAID SO.
HE'S TOO GOOD
FOR YOUR BLUE-BLOODED FAMILY.
YOU CAN FORGET ABOUT
GETTING ON ANY BOARD,
EXCEPT FOR THE IRONING BOARD
AT YOUR LOUSY LAUNDRY.
HE'S HOT
UNDER THE COLLAR.
I'LL COOL HIM OFF.
GEORGE,
I'M SO PROUD OF YOU.
SOMETIMES
YOU'RE VERY NOBLE.
YOU REALLY
LIKE ALLAN.
THANKS FOR
STANDIN' UP FOR ME.
I ONLY STAND UP
FOR THE BLACK PART OF YOU!
THAT'S BETTER
THAN NOTHIN'.
GIVE ME SOME SKIN,
BROTHER!
HALF A BROTHER.
THE JEFFERSONS WAS VIDEOTAPED
IN FRONT OF A STUDIO AUDIENCE.