The Jeffersons (1975–1985): Season 5, Episode 9 - What Are Friends For? - full transcript

♪ WELL, WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪

♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ TO A DELUXE APARTMENT ♪

♪ IN THE SKY ♪

♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪

♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ WE FINALLY GOT A PIECE
OF THE PIE ♪



♪ FISH DON'T FRY
IN THE KITCHEN ♪

♪ BEANS DON'T BURN
ON THE GRILL ♪

♪ TOOK A WHOLE LOT OF TRYIN' ♪

THAT HILL ♪
GET UP
♪ JUST TO

♪ NOW WE'RE UP
IN THE BIG LEAGUES ♪

♪ GETTIN' OUR TURN AT BAT ♪

♪ AS LONG AS WE LIVE ♪

♪ IT'S YOU AND ME, BABY ♪

♪ THERE AIN'T
NOTHIN' WRONG WITH THAT ♪

♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪

♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ TO A DELUXE APARTMENT ♪



♪ IN THE SKY ♪

♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪

♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ WE FINALLY GOT A PIECE
OF THE PIE ♪♪

TIME TO CHECK
THE HAM?

YEAH. IT'S BEEN
2 HOURS.

GOOD. AFTER YOU SPREAD
THE BROWN SUGAR,
PUT SOME PINEAPPLE ON TOP.

FLORENCE, AREN'T YOU
FORGETTING SOMETHING?

HUH? OH, YEAH.
PUT SOME OF THEM LITTLE
CHERRIES ON TOP.

AREN'T YOU FORGETTING
WHO THE COOK IS?

THAT'S OKAY.
I DON'T MIND IF YOU
HELP OUT.

WOULD YOU MIND
GETTING THE DOOR?

OH, NO.
OF COURSE NOT.

I'LL GET IT.

Y'ALL DON'T LET ME
DO NOTHING AROUND HERE!

GEORGE!
DUSTY!

DUSTY! DUSTY!
DUSTY! DUSTY!

HEY, GUESS WHO'S HERE.

DON'T TELL ME. DUSTY.

DUSTY JEFFERSON.
I DON'T BELIEVE IT!

WHEN ARE YOU
GONNA DUMP HIM
AND RUN OFF WITH ME?

THIS IS GEORGE'S COUSIN.

DUSTY'S MY
MAIN COUSIN.

WE'RE TIGHTER
THAN BROTHERS.

WHEN WE WAS KIDS,

I SAID
WE WAS TWINS.

REALLY?

DUSTY, WERE YOU
THAT UGLY AS A CHILD?

YEAH, BUT I IMPROVED.

LET'S GO
GET DINNER READY.

I'LL MAKE SURE
YOU DO IT RIGHT.

WE HAD
SOME GREAT TIMES.

THEY CAN'T TAKE
YOUR MEMORIES.

I REMEMBER WHEN
YOU SAVED MY SKIN.

I BORROWED $100 FOR
WEEZY'S ENGAGEMENT RING.

SO WHAT?

WITH ALL THE MONEY
WE GOT TODAY,

WEEZY STILL HAS
THAT RING.

YOU'RE STILL
LOOKING GOOD.

YOU'RE LOOKING GOOD, TOO.

MAYBE ON THE OUTSIDE.

NOBODY LOOKS GOOD
ON THE INSIDE.

ESPECIALLY ME.

REMEMBER MY
AUTOMOBILE ACCIDENT?

YEAH.

MESSED UP A KIDNEY.

YOU STILL GOT
THE REST OF THEM.

A PERSON ONLY HAS
TWO KIDNEYS.

ONE OUT OF TWO
AIN'T BAD!

I HAVE TO GO TO DIALYSIS
THREE TIMES A WEEK.

YOU GO TO DALLAS, TEXAS,
THREE TIMES A WEEK?

NOT DALLAS. DIALYSIS.

IT'S A MACHINE
THAT CLEANS MY BLOOD.

THAT'S A DRAG.

ESPECIALLY
FOR A TRAVELING SALESMAN.

I MAY HAVE TO QUIT.

I'LL GIVE YOU
A JOB.

I NEED SOMETHING,
GEORGE,

BUT NOT A JOB.

IF IT'S MONEY...

I DON'T NEED MONEY.

WHATEVER I GOT
IS YOURS.

GIVE ME
ONE OF YOUR KIDNEYS.

FOR A MINUTE,
I THOUGHT YOU WAS SERIOUS.

I AM SERIOUS.
I NEED A KIDNEY TRANSPLANT.

ARE YOU JIVIN'?

YOU WANT ONE
OF MY KIDNEYS?

KIDNEYS ARE DOWN HERE.

YOU WANT MY KIDNEY?

I HATE ASKING THIS.

I HATE HEARING IT.

MY OTHER CHOICE
IS TO WAIT UNTIL SOMEBODY DIES.

CHEER UP.
PEOPLE DIE ALL THE TIME.

IT HAS TO MATCH MINE.

OURS AIN'T
GOING TO MATCH.

YOU'RE 6 FEET TALL.
I'M 5 FOOT 6.

WE'LL MATCH BECAUSE
WE'RE CLOSELY RELATED.

I NEVER HAD
AN OPERATION.

I DIDN'T EVEN GO
TO THE HOSPITAL
TO BE BORN.

IT'S A SIMPLE OPERATION...
SNIP-SNIP.

SNIP-SNIP?

WHAT I'M ASKING
IS PRETTY HEAVY.

IF YOU DON'T WANT TO,
I'LL UNDERSTAND.

ASKIN' FOR A KIDNEY

AIN'T LIKE BUMMIN'
A CIGARETTE.

WHY DON'T YOU
THINK ABOUT IT?

IF YOU DECIDE TO DO IT,

CALL DR. FELA
AT MANHATTAN MEDICAL CENTER.

HERE'S HIS PHONE NUMBER.

THANKS, DUST.

I'LL BE STAYING
WITH MY BROTHER BOB.

WHY CAN'T BOB
GIVE YOU A KIDNEY?

HE'S GOT DIABETES.

DAMN!

HE ALWAYS WAS LUCKY.

GOOD-BYE, LOUISE.

CAN'T YOU STAY FOR DINNER?

LET'S MAKE IT
ANOTHER NIGHT.

LET'S MAKE IT SOON.

WHATEVER YOU DECIDE,
I'LL UNDERSTAND.

YOU STILL MY MAIN
COUSIN.

HEY, DUST. LATER.

LATER.

KIDNEY!
SOME COUSIN HE IS.

GEORGE.
YEAH?

DID DUSTY WANT SOMETHING?

HE JUST WANTED
TO TALK.

ABOUT WHAT?

ABOUT SOMETHING
HE'S MISSING.

MISSING?

HE'S MISSING
THE GOOD OLD DAYS.

WE DID HAVE
SOME GOOD TIMES WITH DUSTY.

THEY WEREN'T THAT GOOD.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

HE ALWAYS CAME
WHEN WE WENT RIDING.

GEORGE, IT WAS
DUSTY'S CAR.

STINGY TURKEY.

STINGY?

HE MADE ME
PAY FOR GAS ONCE.

REMEMBER THAT NIGHT
YOU BORROWED DUSTY'S CAR

AND WE RODE TO THE BEACH?

YEAH.

REMEMBER WHAT
I TOLD YOU THAT NIGHT?

YEAH...
"NOT UNTIL
WE'RE MARRIED."

THAT WAS THE FIRST NIGHT
I TOLD YOU "I LOVE YOU."

THEN I SAID,
NOT UNTIL WE'RE MARRIED.

I NEED SOME HELP.

YOU ARE THE HELP,
DUMMY!

I'LL BE RIGHT THERE,
FLORENCE.

GEORGE,
IS SOMETHING BOTHERING YOU?

NO, WEEZY.

SEEING DUSTY AGAIN
MADE ME THINK.

ABOUT WHAT?

MAYBE HIM AND ME
ARE TOO CLOSE.

WHAT?

WE'RE ONLY COUSINS,
NOT BROTHERS.

YOU JUST SAID...

MRS. JEFFERSON,
I NEED HELP!

YOU BETTER
GO HELP HER.

IF FLORENCE
BURNS THAT HAM,

I'M BURNIN'
HER PAYCHECK.

HI, MR. JEFFERSON.

ALLAN, YOU GOT DIABETES?

NO. WHY?

SUPPOSE SOMEBODY ASKED YOU
FOR PART OF YOUR BODY.

WHAT WOULD YOU SAY?

DEPENDS ON WHAT
SHE LOOKS LIKE.

IF SOMEBODY NEEDED
A KIDNEY,

WOULD YOU
GIVE THEM ONE?

MAN, THAT'S
A TOUGH QUESTION.

IF IT WERE A CLOSE FRIEND,

I GUESS I'D WANT TO DO IT.

GREAT!
I'D BE SCARED.

WHAT IS THERE
TO BE SCARED OF?

IT'S A SIMPLE OPERATION...
SNIP-SNIP.

WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME?

DUSTY... THIS PERSON
WHO NEEDS THIS KIDNEY...

GEORGE.
SHH!

OH, HI, ALLAN.

GEORGE, ABOUT DUSTY.

DUSTY?
GEORGE'S COUSIN.

IS THAT THE ONE
WHO NEEDS A KIDNEY TRANSPLANT?

QUIET, ZEBRA.

KIDNEY TRANSPLANT?
WHAT'S ALLAN SAYING?

WHO KNOWS?

I DON'T
UNDERSTAND ZEBRAISH.

YOU'RE HIDING SOMETHING.
I WANT THE TRUTH.

LOU RAWLS IS
MY FAVORITE SINGER.

GEORGE!
THAT'S TRUE!

I WANT THE TRUTH
ABOUT DUSTY.

DUSTY WANTS
ONE OF MY KIDNEYS.

HE WHAT?

HIS AIN'T WORKIN'.

WHY?
IT'S BROKE.

IT NEEDS
SOME MORE SCREWS!

HOW SHOULD I KNOW
WHAT'S WRONG?

WHY DOES IT HAVE TO HAPPEN
TO DUSTY?

DOES DUSTY REALLY
EXPECT YOU TO DO THIS?

YEAH!

WHAT WILL YOU DO?

I'LL HAVE A DRINK.

HI, WEEZ.

HI. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

JUST WENT TO TALK
TO DUSTY'S DOCTOR.

WHAT? WHY?

I HAD THE BLOOD TESTED
TO SEE IF MY KIDNEY
MATCHED DUSTY'S.

BUT I THOUGHT WE DECIDED
YOU WEREN'T GOING TO
GIVE HIM ONE.

I AIN'T.

THEN WHY DID YOU
TAKE THE TEST?

DUSTY CAN'T BLAME ME
IF THEY DON'T MATCH.

BUT WHAT IF THEY DO?

BITE YOUR TONGUE.

I TOOK OUT
A LITTLE INSURANCE.

I SLIPPED THE NURSE
A $10-BILL.

YOU BRIBED A NURSE?

YEAH. SAID, "LISTEN, BABY,
WE BOTH KNOW THAT RABBIT
AIN'T GONNA DIE, RIGHT?"

THAT'S FOR PREGNANCY.

SAME THING.

WHAT?

THEY'RE BOTH FOR SOMETHIN'
THAT'S GOT TO COME OUT.

WHEN DO YOU GET
THE RESULTS?

HE'S SUPPOSED TO PHONE
WHEN IT COMES THROUGH.

BUT GEORGE...

DON'T WORRY, WEEZ.

IS GEORGE HERE?

HE'S BACK
FROM THE DOCTOR'S.

GEORGE!

GEORGE! GEORGE!

GEORGE!

LET GO.

ALLAN TOLD US
ABOUT YOUR COUSIN.

THAT'S RIGHT,
GEORGE.

WE'RE SO PROUD
TO KNOW YOU.

I CAN'T SAY THE SAME.

IT'S LIKE BEING NEIGHBORS
WITH OCTOPUSES.

YOU CAN'T FOOL US.

DEEP DOWN INSIDE,

YOU'RE A WARM,
COURAGEOUS, HUMAN BEING.

NO, I'M NOT.

YOU MUST BE PROUD.
ACTUALLY...

MODESTY RUNS
IN THE FAMILY.

RUN YOUR FAMILY OUT.

YOU DON'T WANT
ANY ADMIRATION.

SPOKEN LIKE A REAL HERO!

SPOKEN LIKE
A REAL KNUCKLEHEAD.

IT TAKES A BIG MAN.

BUT YOU'RE
DOING IT ANYWAY.

GET OUT
OF HERE.

ALL RIGHT.
WE'LL LEAVE.

WHEN YOU GET MAD,
IT MEANS YOU LIKE US.

LET ME SHOW YOU
HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU.

GEORGE, THAT WAS...

THAT MIGHT BE
THE DOCTOR.

ANSWER IT.

YOU ANSWER IT.

YOU'RE CLOSER.

HELLO.

AH, DR. FELA'S OFFICE.

THIS IS GEORGE JEFFERSON.

YOU ALREADY GAVE DUSTY
THE RESULTS?

NO, YOU DON'T HAVE TO
GIVE THEM TO ME RIGHT AWAY.

WHAT?

OH, THANKS.

IT DIDN'T MATCH!

IT DIDN'T MATCH!

IT DIDN'T MATCH!

GEORGE,
WHAT A RELIEF!

EVERYTHING'S FINE.

EXCEPT FOR DUSTY.

I ONLY GOT
TWO OUT OF FOUR MARKERS.

WHAT?

FOUR OUT OF FOUR
IS A PERFECT MATCH.

MY KIDNEY
STAYS WHERE IT IS.

OH, DUSTY. HI!

HI, LOUISE.

I JUST GOT THE NEWS.

I'M SORRY, DUSTY.

WHAT?
YOUR KIDNEY'S
A GREAT MATCH!

IT IS?
TWO OUT
OF FOUR MARKERS

MEANS WE'RE ALL SET.

THERE'S AN 80% CHANCE

MY BODY WILL
ACCEPT YOUR KIDNEY.

IF YOUR BODY
DON'T ACCEPT IT,

CAN I GET IT BACK?

YOU'LL LIVE FINE
ON ONE KIDNEY.

I GOT A FEELING
I'M A TWO-KIDNEY MAN.

I GO TO THE BATHROOM A LOT.

YOU'RE
A GREAT KIDDER.

I KNEW I COULD
COUNT ON YOU, BRO'!

I'LL SEE YOU ALL
LATER.

DUSTY THINKS
YOU'RE GIVING HIM

ONE OF YOUR KIDNEYS.

WHERE DID HE GET
THAT DUMB IDEA?

TELL HIM THE TRUTH.

I CAN'T TELL HIM,
WEEZY.

I'LL TELL HIM.

NO. IT'S MY COUSIN,
MY KIDNEY, MY PROBLEM.

WHO'S THAT?
THERE'S SOMEONE
IN THE BEDROOM!

HOLD IT! IT'S ME.

OH, GEORGE.

YOU SCARED ME.

HAVE YOU BEEN TALKING
TO DUSTY ALL THIS TIME?

YOU HAVE NO IDEA
HOW HARD IT WAS.

YOU GOT
EVERYTHING SETTLED?

SURE.

HE'S NOT MAD?

NO. HE SAID,
"YOU'RE THE GREATEST."

I'M GLAD DUSTY
UNDERSTANDS.

I HOPE YOU
UNDERSTAND, TOO, WEEZ.

OF COURSE I DO.

DUSTY WILL GET OVER IT
IN A FEW MONTHS.

HE'LL BE UP AND AROUND
IN A FEW WEEKS!

YOU ALMOST SOUND LIKE

YOU DECIDED TO
GO THROUGH WITH
THE TRANSPLANT.

GEORGE, YOU'RE NOT!

WRONG, WEEZY.
I AM.

BUT WE DECIDED
THAT YOU WOULDN'T.

YOU'RE MINE.
ALL OF YOU.

I DON'T WANT
BITS OF YOU

FLOATING AROUND
IN OTHER PEOPLE.

WHEN I FIRST MARRIED YOU,

YOU DIDN'T HAVE
ALL YOUR PARTS.

WHAT?

YOU DIDN'T
HEAR ME COMPLAINING.

YOU HAD
TWO PARTS MISSING.

YOUR TONSILS.

OH, GEORGE!

I'LL DO WHAT I WANT
WITH MY KIDNEY.

TO HELL
WITH WHAT I WANT.

THAT IS
A SERIOUS OPERATION.

YOU COULD...

WHAT IF YOU...

DUSTY CAN LIVE
IF YOU DON'T
GIVE HIM A KIDNEY.

BUT I CAN'T.

WHAT?

DUSTY IS A JEFFERSON.

IF I DON'T HELP HIM,
I CAN'T LIVE WITH MYSELF.

WELL, I'M YOUR WIFE.

WHO'S MORE IMPORTANT
TO YOU,

YOUR WIFE
OR YOUR COUSIN?

I'M NOT THROUGH
TALKING.

I'LL COME BACK
WHEN YOU ARE.

YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE
WHO CAN RUN OUT.

FLORENCE!

DID YOU HEAR
EVERYTHING?

I MISSED A COUPLE OF MINUTES.
WHAT HAPPENED?

GEORGE WANTS TO HAVE
THE OPERATION.

YOU OUGHT TO BE
PROUD OF HIM.

I THOUGHT
THE BIGGEST PART OF HIM
WAS HIS MOUTH.

HIS HEART'S BIGGER.

HE DECIDED
WITHOUT CONSULTING ME.

HE DIDN'T EVEN
GIVE YOU A CHANCE

TO TALK HIM OUT OF IT.

YOU GOT YOURSELF
A REAL MAN.

HE NEEDS ALL THE SUPPORT
YOU CAN GIVE HIM.

YEAH. I GUESS
YOU'RE RIGHT.

OF COURSE!

HOW DO YOU GIVE
SUCH GOOD ADVICE?

EASY.

GEORGE.

DON'T TRY TO
TALK ME OUT OF IT, WEEZY.

I'M PROUD OF YOU.

I GAVE IT
A LOT OF THOUGHT.

WHAT DID YOU SAY?

I'M PROUD OF YOU.

YOU'RE DOING
THE RIGHT THING.

WHAT CHANGED
YOUR MIND?

FLORENCE WATCHES
THE WALTONS.

I REALIZED
I WAS BEING SELFISH.

WHEN ARE THEY
DOING IT?

TOMORROW.
TOMORROW?

THAT'S THE DAY
AFTER TODAY!

EVERYTHING WILL BE ALL RIGHT.

LET'S GET SOME SLEEP.

I HAVE TO BE THERE
AT 7:00.

HOW LONG WILL YOU
BE IN THE HOSPITAL?

I'LL BE OUT
IN ABOUT THREE DAYS.

DID HE SAY HOW LONG IT WOULD BE
BEFORE YOU AND I COULD...

AS SOON AS I FEEL LIKE IT.

THAT LONG?

GOOD NIGHT, GEORGE.

I'M GOING TO BED, TOO.
GOOD NIGHT!

GEORGE.

I'M SCARED.

ME, TOO.

AIN'T Y'ALL
THROUGH TALKING?

HELEN, RAISE IT
A LITTLE HIGHER.

THEY'RE HERE!
THEY'RE HERE!

COME ON!

TAKE IT EASY.

I'M ALL RIGHT.

WELCOME HOME, GEORGE!

I GET OUT
OF THE HOSPITAL OK,

AND YOU GIVE ME
A HEART ATTACK.

I'M GLAD YOU'RE ALL RIGHT!

THE NEXT TIME
YOU DO THAT,

GIVE ME
SOME ETHER FIRST.

LET'S SIT DOWN.

OH, YEAH!

DON'T OVERDO
THE FIRST DAY.

GET PLENTY
OF REST!

I AIN'T TIRED.

SIT RIGHT DOWN
ON THIS.

WHAT'S THIS FOR?

I WASN'T SURE
WHERE THEY OPERATED.

RIGHT HERE.

USE IT
TO GO SWIMMING.

HOW'S DUSTY?

THE OPERATION
WAS A SUCCESS.

THAT'S WONDERFUL.

SIT RIGHT DOWN,
MR. JEFFERSON.

IF YOU
WANT ANYTHING,

JUST SNAP
YOUR FINGERS.

WE KNOW YOU'RE
NOT FEELING WELL.

I DO FEEL CRUMMY.

IF THERE'S ANYTHING
THAT YOU NEED,

JUST NAME IT.

I HAVE A CRAVING
FOR A SALAMI SANDWICH

FROM STEFANO'S DELI.

STEFANO'S DELI
IS WAY ACROSS TOWN.

ANYTHING FOR GEORGE!

CAN I
DO ANYTHING?

GO WITH HIM AND MAKE SURE
HE DON'T FORGET THE MUSTARD.

GET ME
SOME VANILLA ICE CREAM.

BAKE ME AN APPLE PIE.

YOU JUST SIT THERE
AND RELAX.

THAT'S THE FIRST TIME
I'VE SEEN FLORENCE RUN.

GEORGE, WHAT
ARE YOU UP TO?

COME HERE AND SIT DOWN.

REMEMBER WHAT
WE COULD DO

WHEN I
FELT LIKE IT?

SURELY YOU'RE NOT
READY YET.

IT WOULDN'T HURT
TO GET IN SHAPE.

THE JEFFERSONS WAS VIDEOTAPED
IN FRONT OF A STUDIO AUDIENCE.