The Jeffersons (1975–1985): Season 5, Episode 22 - Three Faces of Florence - full transcript
Has Florence finally flipped?
♪ WELL, WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO A DELUXE APARTMENT ♪
♪ IN THE SKY ♪
♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ WE FINALLY GOT A PIECE
OF THE PIE ♪
♪ FISH DON'T FRY
IN THE KITCHEN ♪
♪ BEANS DON'T BURN
ON THE GRILL ♪
♪ TOOK A WHOLE LOT OF TRYIN' ♪
THAT HILL ♪
GET UP
♪ JUST TO
♪ NOW WE'RE UP
IN THE BIG LEAGUES ♪
♪ GETTIN' OUR TURN AT BAT ♪
♪ AS LONG AS WE LIVE ♪
♪ IT'S YOU AND ME, BABY ♪
♪ THERE AIN'T
NOTHIN' WRONG WITH THAT ♪
♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO A DELUXE APARTMENT ♪
♪ IN THE SKY ♪
♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ WE FINALLY GOT A PIECE
OF THE PIE ♪♪
ABOUT TIME.
WHAT WERE YOU DOING?
FIXING 5-MINUTE EGGS
YOU'VE BEEN THERE
FOR 20 MINUTES.
TOOK ME 15 MINUTES
TO EAT 'EM.
YOU FORGETTIN'
MY BREAKFAST?
YOU FORGETTIN'
IT'S MY DAY OFF.
I DON'T DO NOTHIN'
ON MY DAY OFF.
YOU DON'T DO NOTHIN'
ON YOUR DAYS ON.
FLORENCE,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
MAKING SURE THE SOFA
DON'T GO NOWHERE.
I THOUGHT YOU
HAD A SKATING DATE.
THAT TURKEY CALLED
AND SAID
HE HAD TO WORK.
WHAT A LIAR.
- HOW DO YOU KNOW?
- MILLIE TOLD ME.
- HOW DOES SHE KNOW?
- SHE CALLED TO BORROW
MY ICE SKATES.
HE'S TAKING HER
INSTEAD.
THAT'S A SHAME!
WHAT KIND OF GUY
WOULD BREAK A DATE
AT THE LAST MINUTE?
THE SAME KIND THAT
WOULD ASK ME OUT.
HUH?
LET'S FACE IT.
I'M JUST NOT INTERESTING.
I THINK YOU'RE
INTERESTING.
WANNA TAKE ME
SKATING?
NO. I MEAN, YES.
I MEAN...
LOOK, MRS. JEFFERSON.
ALL I DO IS DUST,
MOP AND SCRUB.
WHEN I GO OUT,
I AIN'T GOT NOTHIN'
INTERESTING TO TALK ABOUT.
YOU HAVE A LOT
TO OFFER A MAN.
MM-HMM. MY LAST DATE
I HAD TO OFFER TO PAY.
YOU NEED A LIFT.
COME WITH ME.
I HAVE TO MAKE A STOP.
THEN WE CAN
GO SHOPPING.
OKAY.
WHERE'S THE EGG POACHER?
- WE AIN'T GOT ONE.
- HOW AM I SUPPOSED
TO HEAT MY EGGS?
PUT 'EM IN FRONT
OF YOUR MOUTH.
MAYBE YOU BETTER
HELP HIM.
I'LL HELP HIM.
YOU GET THE DOOR.
GOOD.
I GOT THE BEST
OF THAT DEAL.
GOOD MORNING.
COULD I BORROW
YOUR FEATHER DUSTER?
I CAN'T FIND MINE.
MAYBE IT ELOPED
WITH A CARRIER PIGEON.
YOU'RE READING
TRAVELS OF A COUNTESS.
DO YOU LIKE IT?
YES. THANKS
FOR LOANING IT TO ME.
I'D LOVE TO BE A COUNTESS.
I'D RATHER
BE A COUNT.
SHE GOT MORE BOYFRIENDS
IN ONE CHAPTER
THAN I HAD
IN MY WHOLE LIFE.
MEN FIGHT OVER HER
EVERYWHERE.
DIDN'T YOU EVER HAVE
MEN FIGHT OVER YOU?
ON 42ND STREET.
THEY WERE BOTH
TRYING TO STEAL
MY POCKETBOOK.
THE FRENCH DIPLOMAT
TRIES TO WIN HER AWAY
FROM THE YOUNG
FENCING INSTRUCTOR.
AND THEY HAD
THIS DUELING CONTEST.
EN GARDE!
BACK, BACK, BACK!
TAKE THAT, YOU SWINE!
MA CHERE CONTESSE,
WILL YOU BE MINE?
UM...
I'M SORRY, JEAN PAUL,
BUT I TRAVELS WITH THE WIND
LIKE A BIRD.
A FREE BIRD
CANNOT BE CAGED.
OH, MA CONTESSE!
I WOULD LOVE
TO BE LIKE THE COUNTESS.
THAT'S AN INTERESTIN'
WOMAN.
SHE ISN'T JUST
ONE WOMAN.
HUH?
SHE'S MANY WOMEN
TO MANY MEN...
A COUNTESS,
A TEMPTRESS.
MEN LIKE THAT?
GIVE ME A WOMAN OF MYSTERY
ANY DAY!
BETTER YET,
ANY NIGHT!
WOOF!
I'M TAKING FLORENCE
TO BLOOMINGDALE'S.
EXCHANGE HER
FOR SOMETHIN' THAT WORKS.
ARE YOU READY?
I AIN'T GOT NO MONEY.
I PAID YOU
A WEEK'S SALARY.
I BLEW IT ALL
IN A PAY TOILET.
WE'LL STOP
AT THE HELP CENTER,
THEN WE'LL SHOP
AND PICK UP
SOMETHING YOU LIKE.
I HOPE HE'S 6 FEET TALL
WITH BROWN EYES!
EXCUSE ME.
IS YOUR PROBLEM
MEDICAL, SOCIAL,
OR LEGAL?
I'M GREG MARTIN.
IS THAT A PROBLEM?
I'M THE NEW
PSYCHIATRIST.
OH, I'M SORRY!
YOU DON'T LOOK
LIKE A PSYCHIATRIST.
NEXT TIME,
I'LL BRING MY COUCH.
OH!
WELL, DR. MARTIN,
YOUR OFFICE
IS RIGHT OVER HERE.
CALL ME GREG.
OK.
DON'T CALL ME BETTY.
WHY NOT?
BECAUSE MY NAME'S NANCY!
IT'LL ONLY TAKE
A SECOND.
LOUISE, I'VE BEEN TRYING
TO REACH YOU.
THERE'S AN EMERGENCY
MEETING.
THE REGIONAL DIRECTOR
IS HERE.
COME ON,
I'LL INTRODUCE YOU.
FLORENCE, I'M SORRY.
YOU'D BETTER
GO SHOPPING WITHOUT ME.
OK, I'LL SEE YOU
AT HOME.
MMM, MMM, MMM!
OH, HELLO.
DO YOU WANT
TO SEE ME?
OH, YEAH!
I'M SORRY I KEPT YOU WAITING.
COME IN.
SURE YOU AIN'T GOT
NOTHIN' TO DO?
WRITE A MEMO?
CALL YOUR WIFE?
I'M NOT MARRIED.
OH!
NICE OFFICE.
YOU LIKE
THE FURNITURE?
IT'S EARLY AMERICAN
CHEAP.
I'M GREG MARTIN.
FLORENCE JOHNSTON.
WON'T YOU PLEASE
TAKE A CHAIR?
SURE. WHERE DO YOU
WANT ME TO TAKE IT?
RIGHT HERE.
WHY DON'T YOU
TELL ME SOMETHING
ABOUT YOURSELF?
YOU DON'T WANT
TO HEAR ABOUT ME.
IF YOU'D RATHER NOT
TELL ME...
AIN'T NOTHIN'
INTERESTING TO TELL.
I'M JUST A...
JUST A COUNTESS.
A COUNTESS?
WHEN I WAS REAL YOUNG,
I MARRIED THIS COUNT.
BUT THEN HE DIED
AND LEFT ME ALL HIS MONEY.
WHAT WAS YOUR HUSBAND
A COUNT OF?
ON ACCOUNT OF
HIS FATHER WAS A COUNT.
THAT'S VERY INTERESTING!
REALLY?
FROM LOOKING AT YOU,
I'D HAVE NEVER KNOWN
YOU WERE A COUNTESS.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
I MEANT THAT
AS A COMPLIMENT.
I ALWAYS THOUGHT
OF COUNTESSES
AS WEARING JEWELRY,
EXPENSIVE CLOTHES.
I MAKE
MY OWN CLOTHES.
A COUNTESS
WHO MAKES HER CLOTHES?
ACTUALLY,
FLORENCE THE COUNTESS
DIDN'T MAKE THIS DRESS.
FLORENCE
THE SEAMSTRESS DID.
FLORENCE THE SEAMSTRESS?
I'M MORE THAN ONE WOMAN.
YOU ARE?
I'M A LOT
OF DIFFERENT WOMEN.
HOW MANY
DIFFERENT WOMEN?
THAT'S FOR ME TO KNOW,
AND YOU TO FIND OUT.
FLORENCE, HOW LONG
HAVE YOU BEEN
DIFFERENT WOMEN?
THAT DEPENDS.
ON WHAT?
WHICH ONE OF ME
YOU ASKIN'.
EXCUSE ME.
YES, NANCY?
YES.
I'LL BE OUT
IN A MINUTE.
I HAVE SOMEONE ELSE
WAITING TO SEE ME.
PROBABLY SOMEBODY
MORE INTERESTIN'
THAN I AM.
I DOUBT THAT, FLORENCE.
I HAVEN'T SEEN ANYONE
AS INTERESTING AS YOU
IN YEARS.
REALLY?
I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU
TOMORROW MORNING.
YOU WOULD?
CAN YOU MAKE IT
AT 9:00?
IF I CAN GET
THE DAY OFF.
WITH ALL MY COUNTESSING
AND SEAMSTRESSING,
I'M USUALLY BUSY.
I GUESS I CAN FIT YOU
IN MY BUSY SCHEDULE.
I WOULD REALLY LIKE
TO GET TO KNOW YOU BETTER.
OK, GREG.
I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.
9:00 SHARP.
I'LL BE HERE.
YAHOO!
HOW'S THE MEETING GOING?
I THINK EVERYTHING
WILL WORK OUT.
THIS IS GREG MARTIN,
OUR NEW PSYCHIATRIST.
GREG, LOUISE JEFFERSON,
A STAFF MEMBER.
HELLO.
HELLO.
KEEP MY SCHEDULE
FREE TOMORROW.
I'LL BE WITH
FLORENCE JOHNSTON.
FLORENCE?
YES, DO YOU KNOW HER?
SHE'S BEEN OUR MAID
FOR YEARS.
MAID?
THAT'S THREE
PERSONALITIES.
I BEG YOUR PARDON?
MRS. JEFFERSON,
HAS FLORENCE
SAID ANYTHING
ABOUT HER BEING
A COUNTESS
OR A SEAMSTRESS?
A COUNTESS
OR A SEAMSTRESS?
ARE YOU AWARE
OF HER PROBLEM?
WHAT PROBLEM?
I GUESS I CAN
TELL YOU THIS MUCH.
I'M AFRAID
FLORENCE MIGHT BE
SCHIZOPHRENIC.
WHAT?
SHE SHOWED SIGNS
OF MULTIPLE
PERSONALITIES.
MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES?
BUT I'VE KNOWN FLORENCE
A LONG TIME,
AND SHE'S ALWAYS
BEEN JUST FLORENCE.
SOMETIMES THESE THINGS
COME UP IN LATER LIFE.
IS HER CONDITION
SERIOUS?
IT COULD BE
VERY SERIOUS.
OH, MY GOD.
POOR FLORENCE.
♪ OH, YOU ♪
♪ YOU LIGHT UP MY LIFE ♪
♪ YOU GIVE ME HOPE ♪
WITH THAT VOICE,
YOU DON'T NEED HOPE.
YOU NEED CHARITY.
FLORENCE,
THERE YOU ARE!
YOU MADE IT HOME
ALL RIGHT.
EXCEPT FOR
THE BREAKDOWN.
BREAKDOWN?
YOU HAD
A BREAKDOWN?
NO.
THE BUS DID.
OH. THE BUS.
OF COURSE.
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
YOU'RE TENSE.
SHE'S BEEN
HANGIN' AROUND YOU.
GEORGE, COULD YOU
HELP ME GET LUNCH?
WITH FLORENCE'S COOKIN',
YOU WON'T NEED HELP
UNTIL AFTER LUNCH!
PLEASE.
I'M EATING.
I'LL GIVE YOU
A DOGGY BAG.
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG
WITH FLORENCE.
WHY?
DID YOU SEE HER
CLEANIN' SOMETHING?
GEORGE, FLORENCE COULD BE
SCHIZOPHRENIC.
YOU KIDDIN'?
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
IT MEANS TROUBLE.
THE PSYCHIATRIST
FROM THE CENTER
THINKS FLORENCE
HAS THREE PERSONALITIES.
THREE PERSONALITIES!
SHE AIN'T EVEN GOT ONE.
FLORENCE
TOLD DR. MARTIN
SHE'S A SEAMSTRESS
AND A COUNTESS.
SHE DON'T KNOW
THE FIRST THING
ABOUT SEWIN',
AND LESS
ABOUT COUNTIN'.
THEN SHE SAID...
I DON'T CARE
WHAT SHE SAID.
SHE AIN'T CRAZY,
SHE'S JUST LAZY.
ACCORDING TO DR. MARTIN...
IF HE'S SO SMART,
WHY ISN'T HE
A REAL DOCTOR?
GEORGE!
I'LL SHOW YOU
THERE'S NOTHIN' WRONG.
WAIT.
THE DOCTOR SAYS
WE SHOULD GO ALONG
WITH WHATEVER
FLORENCE SAYS.
AS LONG AS
SHE DON'T ASK
FOR A RAISE.
HEY, FLORENCE.
HOW YOU DOIN'?
FINE, UNTIL YOU
WALKED IN.
THEN WALK OUT.
ALL THREE OF YOU!
WHAT?
GEORGE.
OK.
LET'S HAVE A TALK.
FLORENCE DOESN'T WANT
YOU BOTHERING HER
WHILE SHE'S READING.
SHE DON'T MIND.
FLORENCE, HOW WOULD YOU
DESCRIBE YOUR WORK?
100 YEARS AGO,
IT WAS CALLED SLAVERY.
TODAY IT'S CALLED
STEALING.
MRS. JEFFERSON,
CAN I HAVE
TOMORROW OFF?
YOU HAD TODAY OFF.
OF COURSE YOU CAN
HAVE TOMORROW OFF,
FLORENCE.
I GOT A DATE
ALL DAY TOMORROW.
THAT DUDE'S GOT TO BE
AN ALL-DAY SUCKER.
GEORGE.
I'M TALKIN'
TO FLORENCE.
YOU WENT
TO THE MOVIES YESTERDAY.
HOW MANY TICKETS
DID YOU BUY?
THREE.
FLORENCE,
IF YOU WENT ALONE,
WHY DID YOU BUY
THREE TICKETS?
I COULDN'T LEAVE
THE OTHER TWO PEOPLE OUTSIDE.
WHAT OTHER
TWO PEOPLE, DEAR?
THE TWO LITTLE BOYS
WHO DIDN'T HAVE
ENOUGH MONEY.
IN THE MORNING,
DO YOU GET OUT
ON BOTH SIDES OF THE BED?
IS HE CRAZY?
ME?
WEEZY SAID IT'S YOU...
GEORGE, HELP ME
MAKE A SANDWICH.
I'LL HELP.
NO!
UH, NO.
THERE'S NOTHIN' WRONG
WITH FLORENCE.
DR. MARTIN SAID...
HE MADE A MISTAKE.
DO YOU THINK SO?
DOCTORS MAKE MISTAKES.
THAT'S WHY UNDERTAKERS
ARE SO RICH.
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO BELIEVE.
LET'S TALK TO HER
AGAIN.
FIRST, I'LL MAKE
A SANDWICH
SO SHE DOESN'T
GET SUSPICIOUS.
DIANA ROSS,
EAT YOUR HEART OUT!
HERE, FLORENCE.
THANK YOU.
I GOT SOMETHIN'
FOR YOU, TOO.
HERE'S YOUR BOOK.
YOU'VE ALREADY
FINISHED IT?
NO, I GOT A LIVE MAN
TO KEEP ME BUSY.
I'M SURE YOU'LL HAVE
A HAPPIER ENDING.
HOW DOES IT END?
SHE MEETS
JEAN PAUL AGAIN,
WHO'S NOW A COUNT.
SHE TRIES TO EGG HIM
INTO MARRYING HER,
BUT HE'S ENGAGED
TO ANOTHER WOMAN.
DOES IT WORK?
SHE EGGS HIM ON TOO MUCH.
HE MARRIES THE OTHER WOMAN.
THAT'S TOO BAD.
- THERE'S AN INTERESTING
MORAL TO BE LEARNED.
- WHAT?
DON'T EGG YOUR COUNTS
BEFORE THEY'RE HITCHED.
TA-TA!
YOU JIVE COUNT!
IT AIN'T NICE
TO FOOL WITH MOTHER COUNTESS.
YOU HEAR ME, COUNT?
I BET YOUR NEW WIFE
AREN'T AS MANY DIFFERENT WOMEN
AS I ARE.
WEEZY?
I HOPE THAT DOCTOR
MAKES HOUSE CALLS.
THAT MUST BE HIM.
I'LL GET IT.
I'LL GET THE DOOR.
I WAS GOING
TO GET IT,
BUT IF YOU
WANT TO GET IT,
GET IT.
YOU CAN GET IT...
I'LL GET IT.
IS THIS THE...
GREG!
HELLO, FLORENCE.
HOW DID YOU KNOW
WHERE I LIVE?
FLORENCE.
THIS IS GREG MARTIN,
A FRIEND OF MINE.
GREG, MR. AND MRS. JEFFERSON,
MY HELP.
HELP?
YOU'VE BOTH
BEEN A GREAT HELP.
I KNOW
HOW ANXIOUS YOU ARE
TO GET BACK
TO WHATEVER
YOU WERE DOING.
WE WASN'T
DOING NOTHIN'.
YOU WON'T BE ABLE
TO FINISH
IF YOU DON'T HURRY.
FLORENCE, MAKE YOURSELF
COMFORTABLE.
CAN I GET YOU
ANYTHING?
RUN DOWN TO THE CORNER
AND GET HIM A MILK SHAKE.
I'LL GET YOU BOTH
SOME COFFEE.
HAVE A NICE TALK.
GOOD HELP
IS HARD TO FIND.
WHAT DID YOU WANT
TO TALK TO ME ABOUT?
I'D LIKE TO KNOW
MORE ABOUT YOU.
OH?
WE SHOULD SPEND TIME
TOGETHER ALONE.
WHAT DID YOU
HAVE IN MIND?
HOW ABOUT
THIS WEEKEND?
THE WHOLE WEEKEND?
HOW ABOUT A ROOM
AT CEDARS BY THE SEA?
HOW MANY PEOPLE
WILL BE SHARIN' THAT ROOM?
WE DON'T WANT
TO GIVE COUNTESSES
A BAD NAME!
YOU'LL HAVE
A PRIVATE ROOM
TO YOURSELF.
I'D LOVE TO!
GREAT!
COULD I HAVE
A FEW DAYS OFF?
WE'RE GOING AWAY
FOR THE WEEKEND.
FINE.
STAY AS LONG
AS IT TAKES
FOR GREG TO HELP YOU.
HELP ME?
AS YOUR PSYCHIATRIST...
I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU WERE NO PSYCHIATRIST.
WHO DID
SHE THINK HE WAS,
THE COUNT
OF MONTE CARLO?
DR. MARTIN
WILL SEE THAT YOU GET
THE RIGHT TREATMENT.
I DON'T NEED
TREATMENT.
YOU SAID
YOU WERE A COUNTESS.
JUST BECAUSE I SAID
I WAS A COUNTESS,
YOU THINK I'M CRAZY?
NOT CRAZY,
JUST DISORIENTED.
HUH?
YOU'RE NOT
A COUNTESS.
I AIN'T CRAZY, EITHER.
WE'LL TAKE
CARE OF YOU
AT THE HOSPITAL.
I DON'T NEED
NO HOSPITAL!
HELLO.
OH, MR. BENTLEY!
THANK GOODNESS.
TELL THEM!
YES. YOU SEE...
TELL THEM WHAT?
ABOUT THE BOOK.
YOU LEFT THIS RECIPE
IN THE BOOK.
TELL THEM
ABOUT THE COUNTESS.
THE COUNTESS,
THE LOVELY LADY
OF MYSTERY.
SHE WAS A BUNCH
OF DIFFERENT WOMEN.
SHE HAD THE MEN
AT HER FEET.
I WAS TRYIN'
TO BE LIKE HER.
I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU WAS NO PSYCHIATRIST.
YOU TOLD ME THAT
TO GET MY ATTENTION?
I DID THAT ONCE.
YOU SAID YOU WAS
A COUNTESS?
I SAID I WAS
A BRITISH SPY.
THAT'S ONE
OF MY FAVORITE STORIES.
WELL, TELL IT
TO YOURSELF.
I'VE ALREADY
HEARD IT.
YOU GOT THE IDEA
ABOUT SAYING
YOU WERE A COUNTESS
FROM A BOOK?
YES, MRS. JEFFERSON.
THEN THERE'S NOTHING
WRONG WITH YOU!
I WOULDN'T SAY THAT.
GEORGE!
I JUST WANTED
YOU TO THINK
I WAS INTERESTIN'.
WELL, WHAT MADE YOU THINK
YOU'RE NOT INTERESTING?
YOU WOULDN'T
BE INTERESTED
IN A MAID.
I NEEDED TO GET
YOUR ATTENTION.
TO USE A PROFESSIONAL TERM,
THAT'S PURE JIVE.
YOU KNOW HOW
TO GET MY ATTENTION?
HOW?
BE YOURSELF.
REALLY?
I WAS ATTRACTED
THE MOMENT I SAW YOU.
YOU WERE?
NOT YOUR ADDRESS
OR TITLE OR JOB,
JUST YOU.
YOU'RE NOT MAD?
ONLY IF YOU WON'T
HAVE DINNER WITH ME.
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO SAY.
SAY YES.
THEN GO GET READY.
ALL RIGHT, GREG.
I'LL BE READY IN A MINUTE.
I HOPE YOU GOT
PLENTY OF MONEY.
WHY?
BECAUSE SHE SURE EATS
LIKE THREE WOMEN!
THE JEFFERSONS WAS VIDEOTAPED
IN FRONT OF A STUDIO AUDIENCE.
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO A DELUXE APARTMENT ♪
♪ IN THE SKY ♪
♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ WE FINALLY GOT A PIECE
OF THE PIE ♪
♪ FISH DON'T FRY
IN THE KITCHEN ♪
♪ BEANS DON'T BURN
ON THE GRILL ♪
♪ TOOK A WHOLE LOT OF TRYIN' ♪
THAT HILL ♪
GET UP
♪ JUST TO
♪ NOW WE'RE UP
IN THE BIG LEAGUES ♪
♪ GETTIN' OUR TURN AT BAT ♪
♪ AS LONG AS WE LIVE ♪
♪ IT'S YOU AND ME, BABY ♪
♪ THERE AIN'T
NOTHIN' WRONG WITH THAT ♪
♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO A DELUXE APARTMENT ♪
♪ IN THE SKY ♪
♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ WE FINALLY GOT A PIECE
OF THE PIE ♪♪
ABOUT TIME.
WHAT WERE YOU DOING?
FIXING 5-MINUTE EGGS
YOU'VE BEEN THERE
FOR 20 MINUTES.
TOOK ME 15 MINUTES
TO EAT 'EM.
YOU FORGETTIN'
MY BREAKFAST?
YOU FORGETTIN'
IT'S MY DAY OFF.
I DON'T DO NOTHIN'
ON MY DAY OFF.
YOU DON'T DO NOTHIN'
ON YOUR DAYS ON.
FLORENCE,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
MAKING SURE THE SOFA
DON'T GO NOWHERE.
I THOUGHT YOU
HAD A SKATING DATE.
THAT TURKEY CALLED
AND SAID
HE HAD TO WORK.
WHAT A LIAR.
- HOW DO YOU KNOW?
- MILLIE TOLD ME.
- HOW DOES SHE KNOW?
- SHE CALLED TO BORROW
MY ICE SKATES.
HE'S TAKING HER
INSTEAD.
THAT'S A SHAME!
WHAT KIND OF GUY
WOULD BREAK A DATE
AT THE LAST MINUTE?
THE SAME KIND THAT
WOULD ASK ME OUT.
HUH?
LET'S FACE IT.
I'M JUST NOT INTERESTING.
I THINK YOU'RE
INTERESTING.
WANNA TAKE ME
SKATING?
NO. I MEAN, YES.
I MEAN...
LOOK, MRS. JEFFERSON.
ALL I DO IS DUST,
MOP AND SCRUB.
WHEN I GO OUT,
I AIN'T GOT NOTHIN'
INTERESTING TO TALK ABOUT.
YOU HAVE A LOT
TO OFFER A MAN.
MM-HMM. MY LAST DATE
I HAD TO OFFER TO PAY.
YOU NEED A LIFT.
COME WITH ME.
I HAVE TO MAKE A STOP.
THEN WE CAN
GO SHOPPING.
OKAY.
WHERE'S THE EGG POACHER?
- WE AIN'T GOT ONE.
- HOW AM I SUPPOSED
TO HEAT MY EGGS?
PUT 'EM IN FRONT
OF YOUR MOUTH.
MAYBE YOU BETTER
HELP HIM.
I'LL HELP HIM.
YOU GET THE DOOR.
GOOD.
I GOT THE BEST
OF THAT DEAL.
GOOD MORNING.
COULD I BORROW
YOUR FEATHER DUSTER?
I CAN'T FIND MINE.
MAYBE IT ELOPED
WITH A CARRIER PIGEON.
YOU'RE READING
TRAVELS OF A COUNTESS.
DO YOU LIKE IT?
YES. THANKS
FOR LOANING IT TO ME.
I'D LOVE TO BE A COUNTESS.
I'D RATHER
BE A COUNT.
SHE GOT MORE BOYFRIENDS
IN ONE CHAPTER
THAN I HAD
IN MY WHOLE LIFE.
MEN FIGHT OVER HER
EVERYWHERE.
DIDN'T YOU EVER HAVE
MEN FIGHT OVER YOU?
ON 42ND STREET.
THEY WERE BOTH
TRYING TO STEAL
MY POCKETBOOK.
THE FRENCH DIPLOMAT
TRIES TO WIN HER AWAY
FROM THE YOUNG
FENCING INSTRUCTOR.
AND THEY HAD
THIS DUELING CONTEST.
EN GARDE!
BACK, BACK, BACK!
TAKE THAT, YOU SWINE!
MA CHERE CONTESSE,
WILL YOU BE MINE?
UM...
I'M SORRY, JEAN PAUL,
BUT I TRAVELS WITH THE WIND
LIKE A BIRD.
A FREE BIRD
CANNOT BE CAGED.
OH, MA CONTESSE!
I WOULD LOVE
TO BE LIKE THE COUNTESS.
THAT'S AN INTERESTIN'
WOMAN.
SHE ISN'T JUST
ONE WOMAN.
HUH?
SHE'S MANY WOMEN
TO MANY MEN...
A COUNTESS,
A TEMPTRESS.
MEN LIKE THAT?
GIVE ME A WOMAN OF MYSTERY
ANY DAY!
BETTER YET,
ANY NIGHT!
WOOF!
I'M TAKING FLORENCE
TO BLOOMINGDALE'S.
EXCHANGE HER
FOR SOMETHIN' THAT WORKS.
ARE YOU READY?
I AIN'T GOT NO MONEY.
I PAID YOU
A WEEK'S SALARY.
I BLEW IT ALL
IN A PAY TOILET.
WE'LL STOP
AT THE HELP CENTER,
THEN WE'LL SHOP
AND PICK UP
SOMETHING YOU LIKE.
I HOPE HE'S 6 FEET TALL
WITH BROWN EYES!
EXCUSE ME.
IS YOUR PROBLEM
MEDICAL, SOCIAL,
OR LEGAL?
I'M GREG MARTIN.
IS THAT A PROBLEM?
I'M THE NEW
PSYCHIATRIST.
OH, I'M SORRY!
YOU DON'T LOOK
LIKE A PSYCHIATRIST.
NEXT TIME,
I'LL BRING MY COUCH.
OH!
WELL, DR. MARTIN,
YOUR OFFICE
IS RIGHT OVER HERE.
CALL ME GREG.
OK.
DON'T CALL ME BETTY.
WHY NOT?
BECAUSE MY NAME'S NANCY!
IT'LL ONLY TAKE
A SECOND.
LOUISE, I'VE BEEN TRYING
TO REACH YOU.
THERE'S AN EMERGENCY
MEETING.
THE REGIONAL DIRECTOR
IS HERE.
COME ON,
I'LL INTRODUCE YOU.
FLORENCE, I'M SORRY.
YOU'D BETTER
GO SHOPPING WITHOUT ME.
OK, I'LL SEE YOU
AT HOME.
MMM, MMM, MMM!
OH, HELLO.
DO YOU WANT
TO SEE ME?
OH, YEAH!
I'M SORRY I KEPT YOU WAITING.
COME IN.
SURE YOU AIN'T GOT
NOTHIN' TO DO?
WRITE A MEMO?
CALL YOUR WIFE?
I'M NOT MARRIED.
OH!
NICE OFFICE.
YOU LIKE
THE FURNITURE?
IT'S EARLY AMERICAN
CHEAP.
I'M GREG MARTIN.
FLORENCE JOHNSTON.
WON'T YOU PLEASE
TAKE A CHAIR?
SURE. WHERE DO YOU
WANT ME TO TAKE IT?
RIGHT HERE.
WHY DON'T YOU
TELL ME SOMETHING
ABOUT YOURSELF?
YOU DON'T WANT
TO HEAR ABOUT ME.
IF YOU'D RATHER NOT
TELL ME...
AIN'T NOTHIN'
INTERESTING TO TELL.
I'M JUST A...
JUST A COUNTESS.
A COUNTESS?
WHEN I WAS REAL YOUNG,
I MARRIED THIS COUNT.
BUT THEN HE DIED
AND LEFT ME ALL HIS MONEY.
WHAT WAS YOUR HUSBAND
A COUNT OF?
ON ACCOUNT OF
HIS FATHER WAS A COUNT.
THAT'S VERY INTERESTING!
REALLY?
FROM LOOKING AT YOU,
I'D HAVE NEVER KNOWN
YOU WERE A COUNTESS.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
I MEANT THAT
AS A COMPLIMENT.
I ALWAYS THOUGHT
OF COUNTESSES
AS WEARING JEWELRY,
EXPENSIVE CLOTHES.
I MAKE
MY OWN CLOTHES.
A COUNTESS
WHO MAKES HER CLOTHES?
ACTUALLY,
FLORENCE THE COUNTESS
DIDN'T MAKE THIS DRESS.
FLORENCE
THE SEAMSTRESS DID.
FLORENCE THE SEAMSTRESS?
I'M MORE THAN ONE WOMAN.
YOU ARE?
I'M A LOT
OF DIFFERENT WOMEN.
HOW MANY
DIFFERENT WOMEN?
THAT'S FOR ME TO KNOW,
AND YOU TO FIND OUT.
FLORENCE, HOW LONG
HAVE YOU BEEN
DIFFERENT WOMEN?
THAT DEPENDS.
ON WHAT?
WHICH ONE OF ME
YOU ASKIN'.
EXCUSE ME.
YES, NANCY?
YES.
I'LL BE OUT
IN A MINUTE.
I HAVE SOMEONE ELSE
WAITING TO SEE ME.
PROBABLY SOMEBODY
MORE INTERESTIN'
THAN I AM.
I DOUBT THAT, FLORENCE.
I HAVEN'T SEEN ANYONE
AS INTERESTING AS YOU
IN YEARS.
REALLY?
I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU
TOMORROW MORNING.
YOU WOULD?
CAN YOU MAKE IT
AT 9:00?
IF I CAN GET
THE DAY OFF.
WITH ALL MY COUNTESSING
AND SEAMSTRESSING,
I'M USUALLY BUSY.
I GUESS I CAN FIT YOU
IN MY BUSY SCHEDULE.
I WOULD REALLY LIKE
TO GET TO KNOW YOU BETTER.
OK, GREG.
I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.
9:00 SHARP.
I'LL BE HERE.
YAHOO!
HOW'S THE MEETING GOING?
I THINK EVERYTHING
WILL WORK OUT.
THIS IS GREG MARTIN,
OUR NEW PSYCHIATRIST.
GREG, LOUISE JEFFERSON,
A STAFF MEMBER.
HELLO.
HELLO.
KEEP MY SCHEDULE
FREE TOMORROW.
I'LL BE WITH
FLORENCE JOHNSTON.
FLORENCE?
YES, DO YOU KNOW HER?
SHE'S BEEN OUR MAID
FOR YEARS.
MAID?
THAT'S THREE
PERSONALITIES.
I BEG YOUR PARDON?
MRS. JEFFERSON,
HAS FLORENCE
SAID ANYTHING
ABOUT HER BEING
A COUNTESS
OR A SEAMSTRESS?
A COUNTESS
OR A SEAMSTRESS?
ARE YOU AWARE
OF HER PROBLEM?
WHAT PROBLEM?
I GUESS I CAN
TELL YOU THIS MUCH.
I'M AFRAID
FLORENCE MIGHT BE
SCHIZOPHRENIC.
WHAT?
SHE SHOWED SIGNS
OF MULTIPLE
PERSONALITIES.
MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES?
BUT I'VE KNOWN FLORENCE
A LONG TIME,
AND SHE'S ALWAYS
BEEN JUST FLORENCE.
SOMETIMES THESE THINGS
COME UP IN LATER LIFE.
IS HER CONDITION
SERIOUS?
IT COULD BE
VERY SERIOUS.
OH, MY GOD.
POOR FLORENCE.
♪ OH, YOU ♪
♪ YOU LIGHT UP MY LIFE ♪
♪ YOU GIVE ME HOPE ♪
WITH THAT VOICE,
YOU DON'T NEED HOPE.
YOU NEED CHARITY.
FLORENCE,
THERE YOU ARE!
YOU MADE IT HOME
ALL RIGHT.
EXCEPT FOR
THE BREAKDOWN.
BREAKDOWN?
YOU HAD
A BREAKDOWN?
NO.
THE BUS DID.
OH. THE BUS.
OF COURSE.
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
YOU'RE TENSE.
SHE'S BEEN
HANGIN' AROUND YOU.
GEORGE, COULD YOU
HELP ME GET LUNCH?
WITH FLORENCE'S COOKIN',
YOU WON'T NEED HELP
UNTIL AFTER LUNCH!
PLEASE.
I'M EATING.
I'LL GIVE YOU
A DOGGY BAG.
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG
WITH FLORENCE.
WHY?
DID YOU SEE HER
CLEANIN' SOMETHING?
GEORGE, FLORENCE COULD BE
SCHIZOPHRENIC.
YOU KIDDIN'?
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
IT MEANS TROUBLE.
THE PSYCHIATRIST
FROM THE CENTER
THINKS FLORENCE
HAS THREE PERSONALITIES.
THREE PERSONALITIES!
SHE AIN'T EVEN GOT ONE.
FLORENCE
TOLD DR. MARTIN
SHE'S A SEAMSTRESS
AND A COUNTESS.
SHE DON'T KNOW
THE FIRST THING
ABOUT SEWIN',
AND LESS
ABOUT COUNTIN'.
THEN SHE SAID...
I DON'T CARE
WHAT SHE SAID.
SHE AIN'T CRAZY,
SHE'S JUST LAZY.
ACCORDING TO DR. MARTIN...
IF HE'S SO SMART,
WHY ISN'T HE
A REAL DOCTOR?
GEORGE!
I'LL SHOW YOU
THERE'S NOTHIN' WRONG.
WAIT.
THE DOCTOR SAYS
WE SHOULD GO ALONG
WITH WHATEVER
FLORENCE SAYS.
AS LONG AS
SHE DON'T ASK
FOR A RAISE.
HEY, FLORENCE.
HOW YOU DOIN'?
FINE, UNTIL YOU
WALKED IN.
THEN WALK OUT.
ALL THREE OF YOU!
WHAT?
GEORGE.
OK.
LET'S HAVE A TALK.
FLORENCE DOESN'T WANT
YOU BOTHERING HER
WHILE SHE'S READING.
SHE DON'T MIND.
FLORENCE, HOW WOULD YOU
DESCRIBE YOUR WORK?
100 YEARS AGO,
IT WAS CALLED SLAVERY.
TODAY IT'S CALLED
STEALING.
MRS. JEFFERSON,
CAN I HAVE
TOMORROW OFF?
YOU HAD TODAY OFF.
OF COURSE YOU CAN
HAVE TOMORROW OFF,
FLORENCE.
I GOT A DATE
ALL DAY TOMORROW.
THAT DUDE'S GOT TO BE
AN ALL-DAY SUCKER.
GEORGE.
I'M TALKIN'
TO FLORENCE.
YOU WENT
TO THE MOVIES YESTERDAY.
HOW MANY TICKETS
DID YOU BUY?
THREE.
FLORENCE,
IF YOU WENT ALONE,
WHY DID YOU BUY
THREE TICKETS?
I COULDN'T LEAVE
THE OTHER TWO PEOPLE OUTSIDE.
WHAT OTHER
TWO PEOPLE, DEAR?
THE TWO LITTLE BOYS
WHO DIDN'T HAVE
ENOUGH MONEY.
IN THE MORNING,
DO YOU GET OUT
ON BOTH SIDES OF THE BED?
IS HE CRAZY?
ME?
WEEZY SAID IT'S YOU...
GEORGE, HELP ME
MAKE A SANDWICH.
I'LL HELP.
NO!
UH, NO.
THERE'S NOTHIN' WRONG
WITH FLORENCE.
DR. MARTIN SAID...
HE MADE A MISTAKE.
DO YOU THINK SO?
DOCTORS MAKE MISTAKES.
THAT'S WHY UNDERTAKERS
ARE SO RICH.
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO BELIEVE.
LET'S TALK TO HER
AGAIN.
FIRST, I'LL MAKE
A SANDWICH
SO SHE DOESN'T
GET SUSPICIOUS.
DIANA ROSS,
EAT YOUR HEART OUT!
HERE, FLORENCE.
THANK YOU.
I GOT SOMETHIN'
FOR YOU, TOO.
HERE'S YOUR BOOK.
YOU'VE ALREADY
FINISHED IT?
NO, I GOT A LIVE MAN
TO KEEP ME BUSY.
I'M SURE YOU'LL HAVE
A HAPPIER ENDING.
HOW DOES IT END?
SHE MEETS
JEAN PAUL AGAIN,
WHO'S NOW A COUNT.
SHE TRIES TO EGG HIM
INTO MARRYING HER,
BUT HE'S ENGAGED
TO ANOTHER WOMAN.
DOES IT WORK?
SHE EGGS HIM ON TOO MUCH.
HE MARRIES THE OTHER WOMAN.
THAT'S TOO BAD.
- THERE'S AN INTERESTING
MORAL TO BE LEARNED.
- WHAT?
DON'T EGG YOUR COUNTS
BEFORE THEY'RE HITCHED.
TA-TA!
YOU JIVE COUNT!
IT AIN'T NICE
TO FOOL WITH MOTHER COUNTESS.
YOU HEAR ME, COUNT?
I BET YOUR NEW WIFE
AREN'T AS MANY DIFFERENT WOMEN
AS I ARE.
WEEZY?
I HOPE THAT DOCTOR
MAKES HOUSE CALLS.
THAT MUST BE HIM.
I'LL GET IT.
I'LL GET THE DOOR.
I WAS GOING
TO GET IT,
BUT IF YOU
WANT TO GET IT,
GET IT.
YOU CAN GET IT...
I'LL GET IT.
IS THIS THE...
GREG!
HELLO, FLORENCE.
HOW DID YOU KNOW
WHERE I LIVE?
FLORENCE.
THIS IS GREG MARTIN,
A FRIEND OF MINE.
GREG, MR. AND MRS. JEFFERSON,
MY HELP.
HELP?
YOU'VE BOTH
BEEN A GREAT HELP.
I KNOW
HOW ANXIOUS YOU ARE
TO GET BACK
TO WHATEVER
YOU WERE DOING.
WE WASN'T
DOING NOTHIN'.
YOU WON'T BE ABLE
TO FINISH
IF YOU DON'T HURRY.
FLORENCE, MAKE YOURSELF
COMFORTABLE.
CAN I GET YOU
ANYTHING?
RUN DOWN TO THE CORNER
AND GET HIM A MILK SHAKE.
I'LL GET YOU BOTH
SOME COFFEE.
HAVE A NICE TALK.
GOOD HELP
IS HARD TO FIND.
WHAT DID YOU WANT
TO TALK TO ME ABOUT?
I'D LIKE TO KNOW
MORE ABOUT YOU.
OH?
WE SHOULD SPEND TIME
TOGETHER ALONE.
WHAT DID YOU
HAVE IN MIND?
HOW ABOUT
THIS WEEKEND?
THE WHOLE WEEKEND?
HOW ABOUT A ROOM
AT CEDARS BY THE SEA?
HOW MANY PEOPLE
WILL BE SHARIN' THAT ROOM?
WE DON'T WANT
TO GIVE COUNTESSES
A BAD NAME!
YOU'LL HAVE
A PRIVATE ROOM
TO YOURSELF.
I'D LOVE TO!
GREAT!
COULD I HAVE
A FEW DAYS OFF?
WE'RE GOING AWAY
FOR THE WEEKEND.
FINE.
STAY AS LONG
AS IT TAKES
FOR GREG TO HELP YOU.
HELP ME?
AS YOUR PSYCHIATRIST...
I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU WERE NO PSYCHIATRIST.
WHO DID
SHE THINK HE WAS,
THE COUNT
OF MONTE CARLO?
DR. MARTIN
WILL SEE THAT YOU GET
THE RIGHT TREATMENT.
I DON'T NEED
TREATMENT.
YOU SAID
YOU WERE A COUNTESS.
JUST BECAUSE I SAID
I WAS A COUNTESS,
YOU THINK I'M CRAZY?
NOT CRAZY,
JUST DISORIENTED.
HUH?
YOU'RE NOT
A COUNTESS.
I AIN'T CRAZY, EITHER.
WE'LL TAKE
CARE OF YOU
AT THE HOSPITAL.
I DON'T NEED
NO HOSPITAL!
HELLO.
OH, MR. BENTLEY!
THANK GOODNESS.
TELL THEM!
YES. YOU SEE...
TELL THEM WHAT?
ABOUT THE BOOK.
YOU LEFT THIS RECIPE
IN THE BOOK.
TELL THEM
ABOUT THE COUNTESS.
THE COUNTESS,
THE LOVELY LADY
OF MYSTERY.
SHE WAS A BUNCH
OF DIFFERENT WOMEN.
SHE HAD THE MEN
AT HER FEET.
I WAS TRYIN'
TO BE LIKE HER.
I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU WAS NO PSYCHIATRIST.
YOU TOLD ME THAT
TO GET MY ATTENTION?
I DID THAT ONCE.
YOU SAID YOU WAS
A COUNTESS?
I SAID I WAS
A BRITISH SPY.
THAT'S ONE
OF MY FAVORITE STORIES.
WELL, TELL IT
TO YOURSELF.
I'VE ALREADY
HEARD IT.
YOU GOT THE IDEA
ABOUT SAYING
YOU WERE A COUNTESS
FROM A BOOK?
YES, MRS. JEFFERSON.
THEN THERE'S NOTHING
WRONG WITH YOU!
I WOULDN'T SAY THAT.
GEORGE!
I JUST WANTED
YOU TO THINK
I WAS INTERESTIN'.
WELL, WHAT MADE YOU THINK
YOU'RE NOT INTERESTING?
YOU WOULDN'T
BE INTERESTED
IN A MAID.
I NEEDED TO GET
YOUR ATTENTION.
TO USE A PROFESSIONAL TERM,
THAT'S PURE JIVE.
YOU KNOW HOW
TO GET MY ATTENTION?
HOW?
BE YOURSELF.
REALLY?
I WAS ATTRACTED
THE MOMENT I SAW YOU.
YOU WERE?
NOT YOUR ADDRESS
OR TITLE OR JOB,
JUST YOU.
YOU'RE NOT MAD?
ONLY IF YOU WON'T
HAVE DINNER WITH ME.
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO SAY.
SAY YES.
THEN GO GET READY.
ALL RIGHT, GREG.
I'LL BE READY IN A MINUTE.
I HOPE YOU GOT
PLENTY OF MONEY.
WHY?
BECAUSE SHE SURE EATS
LIKE THREE WOMEN!
THE JEFFERSONS WAS VIDEOTAPED
IN FRONT OF A STUDIO AUDIENCE.
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪♪