The Jeffersons (1975–1985): Season 4, Episode 12 - Florence Gets Lucky - full transcript

♪ WELL, WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪

♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ TO A DELUXE APARTMENT ♪

♪ IN THE SKY ♪

♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪

♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ WE FINALLY GOT
A PIECE OF THE PIE ♪



♪ FISH DON'T FRY
IN THE KITCHEN ♪

♪ BEANS DON'T
BURN ON THE GRILL ♪

♪ TOOK A WHOLE LOT OF TRYIN' ♪

♪ JUST TO GET UP THAT HILL ♪

♪ NOW WE'RE UP IN
THE BIG LEAGUES ♪

♪ GETTIN' OUR TURN AT BAT ♪

♪ AS LONG AS WE LIVE ♪

♪ IT'S YOU AND ME, BABY ♪

♪ THERE AIN'T NOTHIN'
WRONG WITH THAT ♪

♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪

♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ TO A DELUXE APARTMENT ♪



♪ IN THE SKY ♪

♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪

♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ WE FINALLY GOT A
PIECE OF THE PIE ♪♪

♪♪ [HUMMING "CALL TO THE TRACK"]

HEY!

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOIN'?

WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?
TRYIN' TO HANG A PAINTING.

IN THE CLOSET?

NOT IN THE CLOSET. ONLY
A DUMMY WOULD DO THAT.

THAT'S WHY I ASKED.

I'M PUTTIN' IT OVER
THE WRITING DESK.

WHY ARE YOU HANGING
A PICTURE OF A HORSE?

THAT IS NOT JUST A HORSE.
THAT'S A RACEHORSE.

IT REMINDS ME OF THE HORSE
YOU BET ON LAST WEEK. IT DOES?

YEAH. THAT ONE
WASN'T MOVING EITHER.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
IT'LL BE DOWN BY TOMORROW.

I WANNA LEAVE IT THERE SO
MR. HENDRICKS'LL SEE IT TONIGHT.

WHO'S MR. HENDRICKS?

HE'S A BIG REAL ESTATE MAN.

HE'S GOT SOME
PROPERTY I'M GONNA LEASE.

WHAT'S THAT GOT TO
DO WITH THE PICTURE?

HENDRICKS OWNS RACEHORSES.
I WANNA IMPRESS HIM.

WHY DON'T YOU SHOW
HIM YOUR JOCKEY SHORTS?

WEEZY!

I'M GONNA BE WORKING ON
THE NEWSLETTER TONIGHT.

CAN'T YOU CALL HIM AND MAKE
YOUR MEETING FOR ANOTHER NIGHT?

ARE YOU KIDDIN'?

I'M LUCKY I GOT HIM
TO STOP BY TONIGHT.

BUT GEORGE...

I'VE BEEN TRYING SIX MONTHS
TO GET THIS GUY TO COME OVER.

HE IS SO BUSY, HIS ANSWERING
SERVICE HAS GOT AN ANSWERING SERVICE.

THEN HOW DID YOU
GET HIM TO COME OVER?

I CALLED HIS SECRETARY

AND TOLD HER TO REMIND HIM HE
HAS AN APPOINTMENT WITH ME TONIGHT.

BUT HE DOESN'T HAVE AN
APPOINTMENT WITH YOU.

I KNOW. A GUY THAT BUSY

DOESN'T REMEMBER
WHETHER HE DOES OR DOESN'T.

SO WHEN HIS
SECRETARY REMINDS HIM,

HE'LL MAKE SURE HE DOES.

WHAT HAVE YOU GOT THERE?

RACING MAGAZINES.

TO IMPRESS MR. HENDRICKS?

RIGHT. LOOK AT ALL THE
DUST ON THIS TABLE. FLORENCE!

YEAH?

I WANNA SEE YOU RIGHT NOW!

OKAY. LOOK IN THE KITCHEN.

STAY AWAY FROM THE
KITCHEN DOOR, WEEZY.

WHY?

I DON'T WANT YOU TO GET HIT
WHEN FLORENCE COMES FLYING OUT.

FLORENCE!

THAT'S MY NAME.

THE LIVING ROOM NEEDS DUSTING.

THE DUST RAG'S IN THE CLOSET.

YOU DO IT.

I JUST DUSTED YESTERDAY.

MR. HENDRICKS IS COMING TODAY.

OK. AFTER I GIVE
MY HANDS THIS TEST.

TO SEE WHICH ONE DOES LESS WORK?

IT'S THE VELVET HAND TEST.

LIQUID VELVET IS IN ONE PAN.

MY REGULAR LIQUID
IS IN THE OTHER.

THEY SAY LIQUID VELVET
MAKES YOUR HANDS SOFT.

I DON'T THINK IT'S WORKING.

HOW CAN IT SOFTEN HANDS
AND LEAVE DISHES HARD?

GET ON WITH THE DUSTING.

I WANT EVERYTHING TO LOOK GOOD.

YOU BETTER LEAVE.

WHAT IS THIS JUNK?

I'VE GOT TO WORK ON
THIS NEWSLETTER TONIGHT.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

I GOT TO TALK TO MR. HENDRICKS.

KEEP IT DOWN. IT
WON'T DISTURB ME.

MR. HENDRICKS, COME IN.

THANKS, JEFFERSON.

GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT HERE.

LET ME SHOW YOU THE APARTMENT.

WHAT DO YOU THINK,
MR. HENDRICKS?

CALL ME CHARLIE.

I THOUGHT YOUR NAME WAS KURT.

THE HORSE'S NAME
IS CALL ME CHARLIE.

OH, YEAH.

YOU FOLLOW THE HORSES?

SURE, BUT NOT CLOSE ENOUGH

TO GET MY SHOES DIRTY.

I HATE THAT HORSE.

I LOST MONEY
BETTING AGAINST HIM.

I HATE HIM, TOO.

I SAID TO GET RID OF THIS.

YOU JUST BROUGHT...

PUT SOMETHIN' NICE
UP, LIKE AN OCEAN.

MR. HENDRICKS, THIS
IS MY WIFE LOUISE.

HOW DO YOU DO?

LOUISE IS THE EDITOR
OF A NEWSLETTER.

WHAT WAS IT I WANTED
TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT?

MRS. JEFFERSON,
WHICH ONE IS SOFTER?

THIS ONE.

IT MAY BE SOFT,
BUT IT AIN'T HOLLOW.

WHEN SHE OPENS HER MOUTH,

HER BRAIN TAKES A COFFEE BREAK.

YOU DON'T HAVE THAT PROBLEM.

YOU AIN'T GOT NO BRAIN.

WHAT NEEDS DUSTING?

NEVER MIND THE DUSTING.

WE CAN USE SOME DRINKS.

KEEP CHANGING YOUR MIND.

SOMEDAY, YOU'LL
FIND ONE THAT WORKS.

SOMEDAY, I'LL HAVE
A MAID THAT WORKS.

WORKIN' IN THIS HEAT AIN'T EASY.

HEAT?

THE HOT AIR FROM YOUR MOUTH.

ABOUT THAT PROPERTY
I WANT TO LEASE...

THAT MAID OF
YOURS IS A REAL WIT.

A NITWIT.

IF SHE HEARD THAT,
SHE'D CLOBBER YOU.

SHE'S REALLY FUNNY.

I HAVEN'T LAUGHED
LIKE THAT IN A LONG TIME.

MR. HENDRICKS, THE PROPERTY.

THERE ARE A LOT OF
PEOPLE INTERESTED IN IT.

[BEEP]

WHAT'S THAT?

MY BEEPER.

MAY I USE YOUR PHONE?

NO, NO.

THANK YOU.

FLORENCE.

DON'T GET MAD. YOU STARTED IT.

KEEP PUTTING ME DOWN.

MR. HENDRICKS SEEMS TO LIKE

THE WAY YOU KEEP MOUTHING AT ME.

HUH?

STOP HUHING AND LISTEN!

WHEN HE COMES BACK,
START INSULTING ME.

YOU WANT ME TO INSULT YOU?

I'LL GIVE YOU 20 BUCKS.

LOOK, MR. JEFFERSON.
KEEP YOUR 20 BUCKS.

THIS ONE'S ON ME.

HERE YOU ARE.

I LIKE SCOTCH ON THE ROCKS.

THEN POUR IT OVER YOUR HEAD.

SHE'S GOT A BIG SENSE OF HUMOR.

ANYTHING'S BIG TO YOU.

HE STANDS ON HIS
TOES TO PUT HIS HAT ON.

I DON'T WEAR A HAT.

NONE WOULD FIT YOUR FAT HEAD.

AND UGLY.

A BAKERY ONCE DIPPED
HIS FACE IN THE BATTER

TO MAKE ANIMAL COOKIES.

THAT'S A GOOD ONE.

I COULD LISTEN TO HER ALL NIGHT,

BUT I GOT TO GO.

A BUSINESS ASSOCIATE
WANTS TO SEE ME RIGHT AWAY.

I'M MEETING HIM AT
THE RAILROAD STATION.

IS HE SCARED OF FLYING?

IT'S A PRIVATE CLUB.

YOU BELONG TO THE
RAILROAD STATION?

YES.

THAT'S A FANCY DISCO.

IT'S NOT THAT MUCH.

IT'S BETTER THAN WHERE I GO.

ANYTHING'S BETTER
THAN THE U.S.O.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO WITH ME?

I'D LOVE...

SHE CAN'T.

WHY?

MR. HENDRICKS
DON'T HAVE INSURANCE

FOR YOU STEPPING ON HIS FEET.

THAT AIN'T FUNNY, JEFFERSON.

HOW ABOUT IT, FLORENCE?

I HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT.

OK. I THOUGHT ABOUT IT.

I'LL GO CHANGE.

WE'LL HIT THE RAILROAD STATION

AND GET OUR ENGINES MOVING.

JUST ONE THING.

BE SURE YOU KEEP YOUR
HANDS OFF MY CABOOSE.

WHAT ABOUT OUR BUSINESS TALK?

WE'LL TALK AT THE CLUB.

YOU'LL ENJOY IT.

I BET WE WOULD.

WEEZY, GET CHANGED.

THANKS, BUT I CAN'T GO.

I HAVE TO FINISH THIS
NEWSLETTER TONIGHT.

THAT'S ALL RIGHT. SHE
SHOULD FINISH HER WORK.

THE THREE OF US WILL GO.

WE CAN'T.

WHY?

IT'S RESTRICTED.

HOW ARE YOU GETTING IN?

IT'S A COUPLES-ONLY CLUB...

NO SINGLE GUESTS ALLOWED.

OH.

CAN I FRESHEN UP
IN YOUR BATHROOM?

WHAT ABOUT THE PROPERTY?

WE CAN TALK ABOUT IT LATER.

WE WON'T BE OUT TOO LATE.

OK.

AFTER A NIGHT
DANCING WITH FLORENCE,

I WON'T BE ABLE TO SAY NO

TO ANY OFFER YOU MAKE ME.

YOU'RE LUCKY MR. HENDRICKS
ONLY LIKES HORSES.

WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?

IF HE LIKED JACKASSES,
HE'D BE TAKING YOU.

I GOT HIM EATING OUT OF MY HAND.

THAT'S ENOUGH TO GIVE
HIM INDIGESTION FOR LIFE.

STOP MAKING UP INSULTS.

WHO'S MAKING THEM UP?

I'LL KILL YOU!

REMEMBER. I'M THE GOLDEN GOOSE.

FLORENCE, ARE YOU READY?

GOOD-BYE, Y'ALL.

TRY HAVING A NICE
TIME WITHOUT ME.

WITHOUT YOU IS THE ONLY WAY.

IT'S I BEFORE E EXCEPT AFTER...

THAT DOESN'T LOOK RIGHT.

HOW DO YOU SPELL RECEIPT?

RECEIPT.

R-E...

P-A-I-D.

I'LL LOOK IT UP.

LOOK UP TAHITI.

THAT'S WHERE WE'LL CELEBRATE

WHEN I OPEN MY STORE
ON HENDRICKS' PROPERTY.

FLORENCE!

FLORENCE.

WHERE'S MR. HENDRICKS?

WHO CARES?

WHAT HAPPENED?

AFTER SKATING...

SKATING?

THE SKATE IS A DANCE.

YOU PUT ONE FOOT LIKE THIS.

FLORENCE, STOP THE BULL.

THAT AIN'T THE BULL.

THE BULL GOES LIKE THIS.

TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED.

WE WAS HAVIN' A NICE TIME.

SUDDENLY HE...

HE GOT FRESH?

WORSE.

YOU GOT FRESH?

HE ASKED ME TO GO TO LAS VEGAS.

WHAT DID YOU SAY?

I USED BODY LANGUAGE.

BODY LANGUAGE?

YEAH. I HIT HIM.

WHAT DID HE SAY?

OUCH.

DOES HE THINK I'M
THE HAPPY HOOKER?

YOU'RE GOING TO BE THE
HOMELESS HOUSEKEEPER.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I'M CALLING THE RAILROAD STATION

TO TELL HENDRICKS
FLORENCE WILL GO.

NO, YOU'RE NOT.

MY DEAL DEPENDS ON IT.

I WOULDN'T GO WITH THAT TURKEY.

YOU HAD A GOOD TIME.

WHEN WE WERE DANCING.

WHAT HE WANTED

YOU DON'T DO ON YOUR FEET.

HAVEN'T YOU STAYED WITH ANYONE?

GEORGE!

THAT AIN'T YOUR BUSINESS.

AND NO. HE'S A PERFECT STRANGER.

HE'S NO STRANGER. I KNOW HIM.

YOU SPEND THE NIGHT WITH HIM.

DON'T GIVE HIM ANY IDEAS.

YOU KNOW HOW MUCH
GEORGE WANTS THAT PROPERTY.

I AIN'T THAT KIND OF MAN.

GO TO LAS VEGAS.

I'LL GIVE YOU TWO
WEEKS EXTRA SALARY.

I AIN'T THAT KIND OF WOMAN.

WHAT KIND?

THERE'S A NAME FOR A WOMAN

WHO TAKES MONEY
FOR STAYING WITH MEN.

YEAH. A RICH WOMAN.

PEOPLE DON'T CARE IN LAS VEGAS.

ANYTHING GOES OUT THERE.

YOUR MAID DON'T.

YOU TELL HIM, FLORENCE.

I WANT HER TO KEEP
UP WITH THE TIMES.

THAT'S REALLY
CONSIDERATE OF YOU.

I'M A CONSIDERATE PERSON.

I DON'T WANT YOU
BECOMING AN OLD MAID.

SOMEDAY, THE RIGHT
MAN WILL COME ALONG.

HE'LL KEEP GOING ALONG
IF YOU'RE OLD-FASHIONED.

OLD FASHIONED?

NOTHING WRONG
WITH HAVING A FLING.

DID YOU HAVE ANY FLINGS

BEFORE WE WERE MARRIED?

NO, BUT I WASN'T OLD LIKE HER.

IF HE TRIES ANYTHING,
SAY YOU HAVE A HEADACHE.

IT WORKS EVERY TIME.

GEORGE HAD THREE LAST WEEK.

TWO.

WILL YOU GO TO LAS VEGAS?

THE ANSWER IS NO.

FOR A MONTH'S SALARY?

FORGET IT, MR. JEFFERSON.

EXCUSE ME. I'M GOING
TO MAKE A SANDWICH.

I'M DOING THE NEWSLETTER.

WAIT!

THE CASE IS CLOSED.

NO.

I WISH YOUR MOUTH WAS.

WEEZY.

I GOT WORK TO DO.

TALK TO HER.

FLORENCE DOESN'T WANT TO GO.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

SHE'S GOING TO LAS VEGAS!

HOW ARE YOU, MR. J.?

AWFUL.

WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

I WANT FLORENCE
TO GO TO LAS VEGAS.

HOW DOES MRS. JEFFERSON
FEEL ABOUT THAT?

SHE DON'T LIKE THE IDEA.

PERHAPS I COULD GO WITH YOU.

I AIN'T GOIN'.

MUST I GO MYSELF?

HELLO, MR. BENTLEY.

MAY I BORROW FOUR EGGS?

SURE, BENTLEY.

HEY, FLORENCE.

YEAH.

BENTLEY WANTS FOUR EGGS.

I'M NO SHORT-ORDER COOK.

YOU AIN'T NO COOK.

BRING HIM FOUR EGGS.

ISN'T IT LATE TO BE COOKING?

I'M HAVING BREAKFAST
WITH REBECCA.

BREAKFAST? IT'S ALMOST MIDNIGHT.

NOT FOR SYDNEY.

SYDNEY WHO?

AUSTRALIA.

YOU'RE EATING IN AUSTRALIA?

NO. REBECCA IS.

BUT...

REBECCA IS AN
AIRLINE STEWARDESS.

WE PLANNED TO HAVE
BREAKFAST TOMORROW,

BUT SHE GOT FOGGED IN.

THAT MAKES TWO OF YOU.

HOW PERCEPTIVE OF YOU.

I HAVE A HEAD COLD.

WE'RE HAVING BREAKFAST
TOGETHER OVER THE PHONE.

WHAT A NICE IDEA.

NOT AS NICE AS HAVING HER HERE.

REBECCA WOULD
HAVE STAYED WITH YOU?

INDEED SHE WOULD.

HERE'S YOUR EGGS, MR. BENTLEY.

SAY THAT TO FLORENCE.

TELL THAT TO FLORENCE.

ALL RIGHT. HERE'S
YOUR EGGS, MR. BENTLEY.

I MEAN YOU AND REBECCA

SPENDING THE WEEKEND TOGETHER.

REBECCA AND I WERE GOING TO
SPEND THE WEEKEND TOGETHER.

SHE'S AN AIRLINE STEWARDESS...

YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR THIS.

NO.

NEITHER ONE OF YOU ARE MARRIED.

WE'RE NOT READY FOR MARRIAGE.

YOU HAVE NOTHING AGAINST
SPENDING THE WEEKEND TOGETHER?

MY PARENTS WOULD BE HAPPY.

HEAR THAT?

I HAVEN'T SEEN MY
SISTER IN A WHILE.

SISTER?

MY SISTER REBECCA.
WE'RE VERY CLOSE.

I WOULDN'T MIND SPENDING
THE WEEKEND WITH MY BROTHER.

YOU'RE A BIG HELP.

SO ARE YOU. THANK
YOU FOR THE EGGS.

GOOD NIGHT.

TELL ME IF YOU CHANGE
YOUR MIND ABOUT LAS VEGAS.

I'M HOT STUFF AT THE TABLES.

I WON $3.00.

HOPE I FIND HENDRICKS.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

DAMN IT, BENTLEY!

IF YOU WANT MORE
EGGS, BUY A CHICKEN!

MR. HENDRICKS. COME ON IN.

AM I WELCOME?

OF COURSE. THAT WAS JUST A JOKE.

HEY, WEEZ. LOOK WHO'S HERE...

MR. HENDRICKS.

HI.

I'D LIKE TO TALK TO FLORENCE.

I'D LIKE TO APOLOGIZE
FOR THE WAY SHE ACTED.

I SHOULD APOLOGIZE.

WHY ARE YOU HERE?

TO SAY I'M SORRY.

YOU SAID IT. GOOD-BYE.

I KNOW I CAME ON STRONG,

BUT I WASN'T TRYING
TO HIT ON YOU.

YOU WEREN'T?

I'LL BE WORKING.

I WON'T HAVE TIME FOR MUCH ELSE.

YOU WON'T?

NO, BUT THE OFFER'S STILL OPEN.

YOU PROMISE? NO HANKY-PANKY?

I PROMISE. CROSS MY HEART.

UNLESS YOU FIND
ME TOO IRRESISTIBLE.

THAT WOULD DISAPPOINT ME.

I'M SURE YOU HAVE BETTER TASTE.

WHAT DO YOU THINK,
MRS. JEFFERSON?

I THINK HE MEANS WHAT HE SAYS.

YOU SHOULD GO IF YOU WANT TO.

IF THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK,

THAT'S WHAT I THINK.

GOOD.

WHEN DO WE LEAVE?

8:00.

I BETTER PACK.

I'LL NEED THAT MONEY
YOU OWE ME FOR GAMBLING.

WHAT MONEY?

THE MONTH'S PAY YOU
PROMISED ME. REMEMBER?

OH, YEAH.

GOOD NIGHT. SEE
YOU IN THE MORNING.

GOOD NIGHT.

SLEEP TIGHT. DON'T
LET THE BEDBUGS BITE.

IF YOU'RE GOING TO BE BUSY,

WHY DO YOU WANT FLORENCE TO GO?

I'M THE KIND OF MAN
WHO PLAYS MY HUNCHES.

I THINK FLORENCE
IS LUCKY FOR ME.

ABOUT THAT PROPERTY
THAT I WANT TO LEASE...

FORGET ABOUT THAT.

YOU SAID WE'D TALK ABOUT IT.

I DON'T OWN THE PROPERTY.

WHAT?

THAT'S WHY FLORENCE
BRINGS ME LUCK.

THE GUY AT THE DISCO

OFFERED ME SO MUCH MONEY
I COULDN'T TURN HIM DOWN.

I WANTED TO LEASE IT!

HE'S BUILDING A
SUPERMARKET THERE.

IF YOU WANT TO CALL HIM,
HIS NAME IS LARRY KELLY.

LARRY KELLY.

I'M SORRY ABOUT OUR DEAL.

GOOD NIGHT, MRS. JEFFERSON.

GOOD NIGHT.

FLORENCE AIN'T
GOIN' TO LAS VEGAS.

WHAT?

SHE'S NOT RUNNING
OFF WITH A STRANGER.

YOU DON'T WANT HER
TO BE AN OLD MAID.

REMEMBER?

AIN'T SHE GOT NO MORALS?

SHE'S GOING OFF WITH A STRANGER.

IT WAS WRONG TO USE FLORENCE

TO INFLUENCE MR. HENDRICKS.

YOU'RE RIGHT, WEEZ. AS USUAL.

WELL, NO HARM DONE.

WHO ARE YOU CALLING?

INFORMATION.

WHAT'S THAT GUY'S NAME?

OH. LARRY KELLY.

WHY?

I'LL TELL HIM ABOUT
MY FUNNY MAID.

I'M NOT LETTING YOU
USE FLORENCE AGAIN.

YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT, WEEZY.

DO YOU KNOW ANY GOOD JOKES?

WHAT?

WHEN KELLY COMES
HERE, YOU CAN INSULT ME.

GEORGE.

REMEMBER WHAT YOU
SAID THE OTHER DAY?

"YOU AREN'T VERY BIG,

BUT YOU GOT A BRAIN TO MATCH."

THAT'S IT.

FORGET IT.

YOU CAN DO IT.

FLORENCE, IT SOUNDS
LIKE YOU HAD A NICE TIME.

IT SURE WAS NICE TO GET
AWAY FROM HERE FOR A WHILE.

IT WAS NICE HAVIN' YOU
AWAY FROM HERE FOR A WHILE.

WHAT ABOUT MY TWO DOLLARS I
ASKED YOU TO PLAY ON ROULETTE?

I PUT IT ON NUMBER
25 JUST LIKE YOU SAID.

25? I SAID 35!

YOU DID?

GIVE ME BACK MY TWO DOLLARS.

GIVE ME BACK MY TWO DOLLARS!

OKAY.

ONE, TWO.

WHERE DID YOU GET
ALL THAT MONEY?

AT THE ROULETTE TABLE.

I PUT HIS TWO
DOLLARS ON NUMBER 25.

♪♪ [HUMMING]

[WOMAN] THE JEFFERSONS WAS
VIDEOTAPED IN FRONT OF A STUDIO AUDIENCE.