The Jeffersons (1975–1985): Season 4, Episode 11 - The Costume Party - full transcript

♪ WELL, WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪

♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ TO A DELUXE APARTMENT ♪

♪ IN THE SKY ♪

♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪

♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ WE FINALLY GOT
A PIECE OF THE PIE ♪



♪ FISH DON'T FRY
IN THE KITCHEN ♪

♪ BEANS DON'T
BURN ON THE GRILL ♪

♪ TOOK A WHOLE LOT OF TRYIN' ♪

♪ JUST TO GET UP THAT HILL ♪

♪ NOW WE'RE UP IN
THE BIG LEAGUES ♪

♪ GETTIN' OUR TURN AT BAT ♪

♪ AS LONG AS WE LIVE ♪

♪ IT'S YOU AND ME, BABY ♪

♪ THERE AIN'T NOTHIN'
WRONG WITH THAT ♪

♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪

♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ TO A DELUXE APARTMENT ♪



♪ IN THE SKY ♪

♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪

♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ WE FINALLY GOT A
PIECE OF THE PIE ♪♪

I'M SO GLAD HELEN BROUGHT ME
DOWN HERE TO MEET YOU, LOUISE.

AND I DO HOPE YOU'LL BE ABLE
TO COME TO THE COSTUME BALL.

WELL, I MUST ADMIT,
IT SOUNDS LIKE FUN.

I ALWAYS LOVED DRESSING UP.

SO DO I. TOM AND I
HAD A WONDERFUL TIME

AT THE SOCIETY DANCE LAST YEAR.

WE MET A LOT OF NICE PEOPLE.

THAT'S RIGHT. I REMEMBER
EVERY TIME I SAW TOM

SOMEONE SEEMED TO
BE SHAKING HIS HAND.

HIS ARM MUST HAVE
ACHED FOR A WEEK.

WELL, HE SHOULD'VE KNOWN BETTER

THAN TO GO AS A SLOT MACHINE.

WELL, WHAT DO YOU SAY, LOUISE?

CAN I SELL YOU A TICKET?

THE INTERRACIAL
AWARENESS SOCIETY

NEEDS ALL THE HELP
IT CAN GET, LOUISE.

SURE.

THANKS.

YOU'D BE SURPRISED
HOW MANY PEOPLE

STILL OBJECT TO MIXED MARRIAGES.

OH, NO, I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED.

REALLY? THEN YOU'RE
A VERY AWARE PERSON.

WELL, I HAVE A HUSBAND
WHO MAKES ME AWARE.

- I'M GLAD TO HEAR IT.
- HEY, WEEZY.

HI, GEORGE!

I WANT YOU TO MEET
MRS. FLETCHER. HI.

HELLO.

I'M ALWAYS GLAD TO MEET A MAN

WHO'S AWARE OF
SOCIETY'S PROBLEMS.

I GOT PLENTY OF PROBLEMS.
THEY JUST KEEP TURNING UP.

HI, HELEN. NICE TO SEE YOU.

IT'S ALWAYS A PLEASURE
SEEING YOU TOO, GEORGE.

GEORGE, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE
TO GO DANCING THIS WEEKEND?

HEY, THAT SOUNDS GREAT.

GOOD, 'CAUSE MRS. FLETCHER

IS SELLING TICKETS TO A BIG
COSTUME BALL, AND I TOLD HER WE'D GO.

ALL RIGHT, FINE. I HAVEN'T
BEEN DANCING IN MONTHS.

YOU'LL HAVE A BALL AT
OUR BALL, AS THEY SAY.

AND YOU'LL BE HELPING
THE ORGANIZATION TOO.

- WHAT ORGANIZATION IS THAT?
- THE INTERRACIAL
AWARENESS SOCIETY.

THE INTERRACIAL WHO?

IT HELPS TO PROMOTE
UNDERSTANDING BETWEEN...

I UNDERSTAND WHAT IT PROMOTES.
WHAT NIGHT YOU SAY THE BALL WAS?

- NEXT SATURDAY.
- OH, SHOOT!

WE AIN'T GONNA
BE ABLE TO MAKE IT.

WHY NOT?

I'LL GIVE YOU ONE GUESS.

I CAN'T TELL YOU. IT'D
RUIN THE SURPRISE.

WHAT SURPRISE?

THE SURPRISE I GOT PLANNED
FOR YOU FOR NEXT SATURDAY.

GEORGE, YOU...

NOW, DON'T TRY TO
PRY IT OUT OF ME.

BUT, OF COURSE, YOU WILL BUY
A TICKET TO HELP THE CAUSE?

- NO, I CAN'T BUY A TICKET.
- WHY?

IT'S PART OF THE SURPRISE.

GEORGE, CAN I SEE
YOU IN THE KITCHEN?

SURE, BUT YOU AIN'T GONNA TRICK ME
INTO TELLING YOU ABOUT THE SURPRISE.

I'M ASHAMED YOU WON'T HELP

THE INTERRACIAL SOCIETY.

WHY SHOULD I PAY PEOPLE TOO
DUMB TO MARRY THEIR OWN COLOR?

MRS. FLETCHER'S
HUSBAND IS WHITE.

YOU MEAN SHE'S BLACK?

NO. MRS. FLETCHER'S SON
IS MARRIED TO A BLACK GIRL.

I WISH MINE WAS.

COME ON, GEORGE.

WHY ARE YOU MAKING A
BIG DEAL ABOUT THE BALL?

IT COULD BE FUN.

EVERYBODY'S
GOING. THE WILLISES...

I WON'T BUY TICKETS OR RENT
COSTUMES FOR THAT BALL.

MRS. FLETCHER'S HUSBAND
IS DONATING THE COSTUMES.

WHAT?

MR. FLETCHER'S COMPANY

IS PROVIDING FREE
COSTUMES TO ANYBODY.

DOES HE OWN THAT
COSTUME COMPANY?

YES.

THAT'S ONE OF THE BIGGEST
COSTUME COMPANIES IN TOWN.

ALL THOSE COSTUMES GET DIRTY.

WHAT?

IT'S ALMOST 7:30.

WEEZY, YOU SHOULD
BE ASHAMED OF ME.

ARE YOU SAYING YOU'VE
CHANGED YOUR MIND?

I CAN'T TURN DOWN
A FREE COSTUME.

MRS. FLETCHER! WE'RE
GOING TO THE BALL.

WONDERFUL!

LOUISE CONVINCED ME I COULD
DO SOMEBODY SOME GOOD.

WHERE'S THE SURPRISE?

THIS IS IT! I'M GOING.

I THOUGHT YOU WOULDN'T COME

BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T
APPROVE OF OUR ORGANIZATION.

ME?

MY OWN SON'S MARRIED TO A ZEB...

TO HELEN'S LOVELY DAUGHTER.

I MUST BE GOING.

SEE YOU LATER, LOUISE.

FINE, HELEN.

I'M HAPPY YOU'RE JOINING US.

WE'LL BE THERE
ON ONE CONDITION...

THAT MY FRIENDS THE
WILLISES AND THE FLETCHERS

WILL COME FOR DRINKS
BEFORE THE BALL.

I'M DELIGHTED.

I'M AMAZED.

WHAT SHOULD I WEAR?

WHAT'S YOUR HUSBAND WEARING?

A PIRATE COSTUME.

GOOD BUSINESSMEN
ALWAYS MAKE GOOD PIRATES.

THANK YOU.

WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?

TAKE THESE PIRATE
COSTUMES, LEROY.

YOU WANT ALL THESE CLEANED?

NO. I WANT YOU TO LISTEN.

I DON'T HEAR ANYTHING.

TO ME.

BE BACK AT THE STORE AT 8:00.

8:00.

THE STORE WILL BE CLOSED.

I WANT YOU TO OPEN IT.

OK.

I DON'T HAVE A KEY.

HERE'S A KEY.

AT ABOUT 8:00, MY MAID,
FLORENCE, WILL BE HERE.

HOW WILL I KNOW HER?

THERE WILL BE TWO PEOPLE HERE.

THE ONE THAT AIN'T YOU IS HER.

GOT IT.

SHE'LL BRING DOWN A COSTUME
STAINED WITH GRAPE JUICE.

GRAPE JUICE IS
MURDER TO GET OUT.

DON'T GET IT OUT.

JUST GIVE HER A
CLEAN PIRATE COSTUME.

GOT IT.

WHY?

THE MAN WITH THE STAINED
COSTUME OWNS A COSTUME COMPANY.

MAYBE WE'LL GET HIS BUSINESS.

HE'LL THINK THE
COSTUME YOU BRING BACK

IS HIS COSTUME... ONLY CLEAN.

RIGHT!

MR. JEFFERSON,
YOU SURE ARE SMART.

I KNOW.

WHY YOU WEARING THOSE HATS?

WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME SOONER?

WELL, FLORENCE?

IT'S WONDERFUL. WHO
YOU SUPPOSED TO BE?

I'LL GIVE YOU A
CLUE. ANTHONY AND...

THE IMPERIALS!

I JUST LOVE THEM.

I GOT ALL THEIR ALBUMS.

♪ DO DO DO DO ♪

♪ TEARS ON MY PILLOW ♪

♪ DO DO DO DO ♪

♪ PAIN IN MY HEART ♪♪

NO, FLORENCE.
ANTHONY AND CLEOPATRA.

WHAT?

HE BROKE UP WITH THE IMPERIALS?

REACH.

AAH!

WHEN BLACK BART TELLS
THEM TO REACH, THEY REACH.

IF BLACK BART DOES THAT AGAIN,

HE'LL HAVE A BLACK EYE.

WHAT?

WHAT YOU GOT TO SAY?

YOU'D HAVE MADE A GREAT
SHERIFF IN THE OLD WEST.

YOU'D HAVE KILLED
ALL THEM BAD GUYS.

YEP.

THEY'D HAVE LOOKED AT
YOU AND DIED LAUGHING.

WHAT'S THIS?

GRAPE PUNCH. WE AIN'T
HAD IT IN A LONG TIME.

WE'VE NEVER HAD IT.

CAN'T GET NO LONGER THAN THAT.

FINISH GETTING DRESSED.

I AM DRESSED.

WHAT ABOUT YOUR CROWN?

IT'S TOO HEAVY.

YOU CAN'T WIN THAT BEST COSTUME
PRIZE WITHOUT YOUR CROWN.

YOU'RE RIGHT!

WITH BLACK BART AROUND,
YOU WON'T WIN ANYWAY.

FLORENCE, CAN I TALK TO YOU?

WHEN MR. FLETCHER
ASKS FOR A DRINK,

POUR GRAPE JUICE ON HIM.

I CAN'T.

YES, YOU CAN. YOU'RE
ALWAYS SPILLING THINGS.

I'LL PAY YOU $25.

FORGET IT.

HOW MUCH YOU WANT?

$5,000.

$5,000!

BUT I'LL TAKE $50.

YOU GOT A DEAL.

AFTER YOU SPILL IT ON HIM,

SAY, "MR. JEFFERSON
CAN GET THAT OUT."

I'LL SAY, "NO WAY."

YOU KEEP SAYING, "HE CAN DO IT."

GRAPE JUICE WON'T COME OUT.

NOBODY WANTS YOUR
KITCHEN PHILOSOPHY.

TAKE FLETCHER'S
COSTUME TO THE STORE.

GET A COSTUME FROM LEROY

AND BRING IT TO ME.

DON'T BLOW IT.

I FOUND MY CROWN
IN THE BATHROOM.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

A SMART QUEEN LEAVES
HER CROWN BY THE THRONE.

OH, HELEN. TOM.

OH, LOUISE! CLEOPATRA
NEVER LOOKED SO GOOD.

THANK YOU.

WHERE'S YOUR ASP?

IN BACK OF HER.

I MEAN...

IT'S ON THE DESK.

HISS, HISS, HISS.

YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL, HELEN.

WHO ARE YOU?

HELEN.

WHO ARE YOU DRESSED AS?

HELEN OF TROY.

YOUR FACE LOOKS LIKE IT'S
BEEN USED FOR LAUNCHING SHIPS.

GEORGE!

BLACK BART SAID IT, NOT ME.

YOU LOOK GREAT, WILLIS.

THANK YOU.

THAT'S CLEVER...
GOING AS A ZEBRA.

IT'S A CONVICT UNIFORM.

OH!

I'M DRESSED FOR A
JOHNNY CASH CONCERT.

DRINKS?

SCOTCH AND SODA.

SAME.

SAME.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

THREE SHOTS OF RED-EYE.

HELLO.

HI, LEROY.

I'LL GET IT, WEEZY.

FIX THE DRINKS.

YOU WANT TO HEAR THE PLAN AGAIN?

I'LL CALL YOU BACK.

I GOT TO MAKE A BUSINESS CALL.

IT'LL ONLY TAKE A MINUTE.

WE NEED HELP WITH THE DRINKS.

OK.

TOO MUCH SODA.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

I'LL GET IT.

LITTLE BO PEEP HAS
LOST HER SHEEP.

DON'T WORRY, LITTLE BO PEEP.

SUPERMAN WILL USE HIS
X-RAY EYES TO FIND YOUR SHEEP.

THE FLETCHERS. WELCOME.

LOUISE! YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.

THANK YOU.

THIS IS MY HUSBAND BILL.

I LOVE YOUR COSTUME,

BUT YOUR WIFE SAID YOU
WERE COMING AS A PIRATE.

SOMEBODY RENTED ALL
OUR PIRATE COSTUMES.

HERE YOU ARE, MRS. FLETCHER.

HOW ABOUT YOU, MR. FLETCHER?

I'D LOVE SOME.
SUPERMAN IS THIRSTY.

OH, NO!

OH, MY GOODNESS!

FLORENCE, HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?

I'M SORRY.

LOOK AT IT ALL OVER MY "S"!

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S
THE MATTER WITH ME.

I GUESS MY MIND WAS WONDERIN'.

PACK A BAG AND GO LOOK FOR IT.

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE
THE MASTER OF CEREMONIES.

YOU CAN'T STAND UP
LOOKING LIKE THAT.

MR. JEFFERSON CAN GET IT OUT.

NO, I CAN'T.

YES, YOU CAN.

I SAID I CAN'T GET IT OUT.

OH, YOU'RE JUST SAYIN' THAT.

MR. JEFFERSON CAN
CLEAN ANYTHING.

HE CAN GET IT OUT FAST.

NO ONE CAN GET THAT OUT.

GRAPE JUICE DOESN'T COME OUT.

THAT DON'T SCARE MR. JEFFERSON.

HE LAUGHS AT GRAPE-JUICE STAINS,

DON'T YOU, MR. JEFFERSON?

WILL YOU SHUT UP?

WE HAD A GRAPE-JUICE
STAIN ON OUR RUG.

HOW DID WE GET RID OF IT?

WE MOVED.

OH, YEAH.

ONLY ONE PERSON CAN HELP YOU.

"THIS LOOKS LIKE A
JOB FOR SUPERMAN."

MR. JEFFERSON CAN GET IT OUT.

TAKE OFF YOUR COSTUME.

WE WILL DO THE REST.

I CAN'T CLEAN IT.

YOU COULD GET
MR. FLETCHER A BATHROBE.

HE CAN'T GO TO THE
COSTUME PARTY NAKED.

YOU COULD BE LITTLE BO PEEP

AND LITTLE BOY BLUE.

POOR BILL.

THIS WILL RUIN HIS NIGHT.

HE COULD TAKE MY OUTFIT.

THAT'S SO NICE.

YOU WANTED THAT PRIZE
FOR MOST ORIGINAL COSTUME.

WHO ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE?

ANYONE WHO WORKED FOR NIXON.

HERE IT IS.

GOOD. WAIT RIGHT THERE.

FLORENCE! WHERE YOU GOIN'?

I'M TAKING THIS TO LEROY.

NO!

COME BACK HERE!

THERE'S A NAKED
MAN IN OUR BATHROOM.

DO SOMETHING.

FLORENCE.

FLORENCE!

HEY!

A CITIZEN IN DISTRESS.

FLORENCE!

WHAT IS THE TROUBLE,
LITTLE BUCKAROO?

I'M BUSY.

HEY!

YOU'RE SUPERMAN.

NOT REALLY. IT'S
ME... BENTLEY...

ALTHOUGH THERE'S
A LADY IN SCARSDALE

WHO SAYS I'M FASTER
THAN A SPEEDING BULLET.

YOU'RE GOING TO
THE BALL LIKE THAT?

YES.

YOU'LL MAKE A FOOL OF YOURSELF.

DO I LOOK THAT BAD?

WORSE! EVERYBODY
WILL LAUGH AT YOU.

HA HA HA!

I COULDN'T HELP IT.

WHAT'S WRONG?

YOU AIN'T RIGHT.
SUPERMAN WAS AMERICAN.

I THOUGHT HE CAME
FROM OUTER SPACE.

HIS FAMILY DID, BUT THEY
MOVED TO NEW JERSEY.

WHAT ELSE CAN I WEAR?

DRESS LIKE SOMEBODY
WHO'S ENGLISH.

WHO DO YOU LOOK AT AND SAY,

"THAT'S ENGLAND"?

MR. J., I COULDN'T
GO AS THE QUEEN.

I MEAN A PIRATE.

MANY OF THEM WERE ENGLISH.

RUNNING AROUND ROBBING

AND BURNING AND KILLING...

THEY WERE SOMETHING
YOU COULD BE PROUD OF.

PERHAPS YOU'RE RIGHT.

MANY OF OUR PIRATES
WERE ROMANTIC FIGURES.

I LIKE THE IDEA,

BUT WHERE CAN I
GET A PIRATE SUIT?

I'LL GET ONE. GO CHANGE.

THANK YOU.

YO-HO-HO AND A BOTTLE OF RUM.

AAR, JIM!

YOU'LL BE MASTER OF CEREMONIES

BECAUSE I'M THE MASTER CLEANER.

THERE'S NO TIME...

GEORGE JEFFERSON...
FASTEST GUN IN THE EAST.

I GOT TO MAKE A CALL.

WHAT'S HAPPENING? I SMELL A RAT.

SO DO I.

A LITTLE ONE WITH SPURS.

HELLO, LEROY. THIS
IS MR. JEFFERSON.

IS FLORENCE THERE?

THE MR. JEFFERSON
THAT PAYS YOU, DUMMY!

WHO DID YOU THINK IT WAS?

RICHARD PRYOR?

NO. NOBODY TOLD ME THAT BEFORE.

LET ME SPEAK TO FLORENCE.

FLORENCE, BRING A PIRATE
COSTUME TO BENTLEY,

THEN BRING HIS
SUPERMAN SHIRT TO ME.

YOU GOT IT?

YEAH. JUST HURRY UP.

I'M BUSY, WEEZY.

WHAT ARE YOU UP TO?

MR. FLETCHER, YOU KNOW THAT "S"

ON YOUR SUPERMAN SHIRT?

IT STANDS FOR "SPOTLESS."

YOU GOT THE STAIN OUT?

YOU'LL SEE.

I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

WOULD I LIE TO THE QUEEN?

YOU SAID YOU COULDN'T.

I'M TOO MODEST.

BESIDES, I HAVE A
NEW SECRET PROCESS.

SECRET?

I CALL IT "THAT
OLD BLACK MAGIC."

IF IT WORKS, YOU'RE
THE BEST CLEANER.

THE BEST COSTUMES
DESERVE THE BEST CLEANER.

OK, EVERYBODY. HERE'S THE PROOF.

I TOLD YOU HE COULD DO IT.

IT'S CLEAN AS A WHISTLE.

MR. JEFFERSON,
THIS IS REMARKABLE!

IT'S ALSO 20 BUCKS EXTRA.

THANK YOU, FLORENCE DEAR.

I HAVE TO WORK
OUT SOME WRINKLES.

IT'S STILL AMAZING.

GEORGE, I'M SORRY.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE
UP TO SOMETHING.

WHEN WILL YOU TRUST ME?

[DOORBELL RINGS]

♪ THAT OLD BLACK MAGIC
HAS ME IN ITS SPELL ♪

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED
TO DO WITH THIS SHIRT?

YOU SAID PIRATE.
THIS IS SUPERMAN.

THAT'S AN OLD RAG.
THROW IT AWAY.

THAT'S NOT A RAG!

IT'S A SUPERMAN SHIRT.

TWO GRAPE STAINS IN ONE DAY.

WHAT A COINCIDENCE!

GIVE IT THE SECRET PROCESS.

RIGHT, BOSS.

WHAT SECRET PROCESS?

THE ONE YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT.

THAT'S MY SHIRT.

WHOSE SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?

WHERE DID THAT ONE COME FROM?

WHERE DID IT COME FROM?

I GOT IT FROM BENTLEY.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

HAS BENTLEY GONE INTO
THE CLEANING BUSINESS?

WHY, GEORGE? WHY?

I WANTED TO GET HIS BUSINESS.

WHY DIDN'T YOU ASK?

YOU HAVE TO SHOW YOUR
CUSTOMERS THAT YOU'RE GOOD.

YOU TRIED TO TRICK US.

YEAH. I KNOW.

SORRY, FLETCHER.

THAT'S HOW I GOT
WHERE I AM, TOO.

IT'S NOT WORTH IT.

YOU DON'T NEED THE MONEY.

IT AIN'T THE MONEY.
IT'S THE GAME.

EXACTLY. I LIKE YOUR
SPIRIT, JEFFERSON.

YOU'LL LOVE MY CLEANING.

MY CLEANER IS TERRIBLE.

HE'S SLOW.

I'M FAST.

HE'S EXPENSIVE.

I'M... NOT SO EXPENSIVE.

HE NEVER SUPPORTS
THE INTERRACIAL SOCIETY.

WHAT KIND OF BIGOT IS HE?

I SUPPORT IT.

REALLY? HOW MUCH HAVE YOU GIVEN?

HOW ABOUT YOU?

TOM IS A SUSTAINING SPONSOR...

$1,000.

WE ARE BOTH SUSTAINING SPONSORS.

I'M PLEDGING $2,000.

I WANT TO GIVE YOU MY BUSINESS,

BUT I CAN'T.

MY BROTHER-IN-LAW
DOES OUR CLEANING.

I WOULD KILL HIM.

YOU GAVE ME THE BUSINESS.

SORRY, JEFFERSON.

I AIN'T BEEN THIS CONFUSED
SINCE I DON'T KNOW WHEN.

YESTERDAY?

YEAH. THAT'S WHEN IT WAS.

BRING ME A PIRATE
COSTUME FOR MR. FLETCHER.

ALL RIGHT, BOSS.

WELL.

I'M SORRY YOU DIDN'T
GET THE CONTRACT,

BUT I HOPE YOU'VE
LEARNED A LESSON.

FIRST YOU CLOSE THE DEAL,

THEN YOU MAKE THE DONATION.

IT'S FOR A GOOD CAUSE.

MAYBE I COULD GET IT BACK.

HOW MUCH DO YOU
WIN FOR BEST COSTUME?

$5OO.

I BET I WIN, SHARP AS I AM.

REACH!

OH, MY GOODNESS!

♪♪ [HUMMING]

[WOMAN] THE JEFFERSON WAS
VIDEOTAPED IN FRONT OF A STUDIO AUDIENCE.