The Good Place (2016–…): Season 3, Episode 4 - Jeremy Bearimy - full transcript
The group explores the three main branches of ethical thought.
OK.
That was an insane thing
for us to do.
Oh! OK, good news.
I have the Doorman's key,
so no one will be able to come after us.
Let's just try t...
Your key is ringing.
I have a question for you.
Are you out of your damn mind?
Your Honour,
look at it from my point of view.
I have never been this angry in my life
which is the age of the universe!
I understand, but saving the souls of these
four humans is more important, so...
we're not coming back until we do.
Oh, don't you even try coming back here
cos when you walk through that door
I am gonna be waiting for you.
Sorry, Judge, I think you're breaking up.
That's impossible.
It's a magical key, you dick.
What are you doing? I can see you!
This is perfect.
We're right near Chidi's office,
and as far as I can tell
the whole floor is abandoned.
What do they use it for? Storage?
- No, this is the journalism department.
- Huh.
Bad for the world, good for us.
So, somehow, with none of our powers
we have to keep the group intact
and monitor their ethical progress.
- So, how do we do that?
- Not sure.
There's no way to track people's actual
point totals
only the Accountants
have that information, but...
I did install cameras and microphones,
so at least we can keep our eye on them.
- Let's get peepin'!
- Ho!
Oh, no. Not a great start.
Eleanor farted
and then she blamed it on her chair.
That's gonna cost her at least a few points.
There's a bolt missing or something...
Before we begin,
Trevor is dropping out of the study.
He sent me an email last night.
"I'm sad to inform you that I am too ugly
and stupid to be in the study
and I'm going home to my mummy."
That was me. I wrote that email!
That's too bad, but we press on.
We're on to stage two of the study.
I'm going to teach you some
philosophical principals
and then we will explore how those ideas have
affected your personal moral machineries.
Sorry, Eleanor, did you say something?
No, it's my chair.
It's got this weird design...
- Your chair smells bad.
- I know!
See? Another person who agrees,
it's the chair.
Great news, everyone!
The funding from the Neuroscience department
came through!
And you blew it all on cupcakes?
Exactly what I would have done.
Respect.
- Eleanor?
- Ah... I'm good.
I try to avoid pointless group activities,
you know, like office Christmas parties
or jury duty.
To me, the single most awful sound
in the universe is that mangled
opening note of your co-workers singing
"Happy Birthday".
Cool stance.
Counterpoint -
these are delicious free cupcakes.
Get over yourself and eat one.
Fine.
Oh! You guys,
let's take a picture!
Everyone get in, get in,
and say, uh... Oh!
Say "ventromedial prefrontal cortex"!
Jaguars rule!
Hey, Teach? I've been having
so much fun here, but...
I didn't plan to stay in Australia
this long, and I'm super broke.
Any idea where I can get a part-time gig?
- What kind of work are you looking for?
- Well, I'm really good at telemarketing.
I can usually guess how long to microwave
food without looking at the box.
I'd say those are my two main skills.
OK.
- Dang it!
- I'll see what I can do.
If Eleanor has to get a job,
she'll miss class
and that'll slow down her progress.
Are you sure we should be doing this?
It kind of feels like cheating.
No, no, it's not cheating.
Think of us as a snowplough,
clearing a path for Eleanor
so she can more easily drive along
the road of improvement.
Ooh, I love that!
You really painted a picture there.
G'day, how can I help you?
One scratch-off lottery ticket, please!
Oh! Not that one. Keep going.
Keep going. Keep going.
These tickets were printed
before we got down here.
I know which ones are the winners!
And... stop!
That's the one. Good ol' lucky
number 186 from the bottom!
- Here you go.
- Also!
That bathroom key that you lost
nine months ago, slid under the register.
And the woman that you think is your aunt
is actually your mum.
OK, bye!
You guys, this is nuts.
This morning, I found a lottery ticket
on the ground outside my apartment.
I scratched it off...
and I won $18,000!
- Wow!
- That's amazing!
Better luck next time.
Yes. Sorry, from context, I see
that is actually a large sum of money.
Jason? You OK there, mate?
No.
I have to watch the Jaguar games alone,
on my computer at like three in the morning
on Mondays. It's so annoying.
Everything here is in a...
I don't know how to describe it, like...
a different zone of time.
No, that sounds stupid.
A different clock land.
I'll watch the game with you, Jason!
I enjoy American football -
I actually dated a player once.
But he wasn't my type,
so I set him up with my friend Gisele...
- Bündchen.
- Yeah, we got it. We always get it.
Awesome!
But if you want to watch with me,
you have to learn my Jaguars cheer.
It goes, "Let's go, Jags!
Kick their ass! Yeah!"
Do you think you can learn that
by the weekend?
I shall do my best.
Nice! See you then!
- Why do you want to watch football with Jason?
- I don't, really.
But I am, these days,
as you might say in America
"mad horny".
Oh!
- OK, well...
- Oh, boy.
No judgements, babe. He's a straight hottie.
- You want to smash Jason, go smash.
- Tahani getting together with Jason
even casually, could tear this group apart.
We have to nip this in the bud.
Well, it makes me slightly uneasy
to interfere in the personal life
of the man that I am secretly in love with
and a woman I admire
but if you think we should,
I-I'm not gonna argue.
Time to break out
the ol' snowplough again, Janet.
Let's find Tahani a loving,
supportive companion.
Great idea.
Oh, you know, this is not as crucial
to the mission
but I'd also love to arrange for them to get
better computers, help them work faster.
If I'm going to the mall anyway, I might
as well pick Jason up some jean shorts
the kind with the frayed edges,
where you can see the pockets
coming out the bottom?
So that he can... study better.
Sure.
Tahani? Is that you?
Larry Hemsworth? My goodness!
That's so funny, I just got a call from
the restaurant about a jacket I left here
and now here you are!
I can't believe you remember me.
Of course I remember you! We dated.
I know, I just never expect anyone
to remember me.
Because I'm only 6ft 4",
and I have one of those forgettable faces.
Well, uh... I'm sure you're busy,
probably don't wanna talk to me.
I get it, I wouldn't either,
I'm as dull as a rock.
Ugh. Even that analogy was boring,
I'm sorry.
I'm so dull, and I'm ugly,
I'm like a rock... urgh!
- Stupid Larry! Stop talking about rocks!
- No, no, Larry, please!
It's lovely to see you.
Sit down, let's catch up!
How are Chris and Liam and Luke?
Sorry, no.
I won't mention your brothers again.
As long as you don't mention my sister!
Oh!
Mm-mm...
Who are you? Do you work here?
Your name is Montgomery Wycoff.
Your ex-wife Samantha still loves you
but she's afraid to call.
You must show her your poetry.
Go to her. Go to her!
- Looks like you had a good night!
- I did.
You and Jason, imagine that.
To be fair, I have.
Actually, I was with an ex-boyfriend.
I ran into him unexpectedly,
and the reunion was a "smashing" success.
It's a pun, you see.
- We had intercourse.
- Yeah, again, I always get it.
I do feel bad, though. I completely forgot
about watching the game with Jason.
Homies, guess what?
Yesterday I got a Facebook invite
to the Australia chapter
of the Jacksonville Jaguars Fan Club!
Yeah, I think he's over it.
Me and two other dudes just watched the Jags
annihilate the Texans!
It was super fun, I'm completely wasted.
I gotta go barf one last time,
and then I'll be ready to learn philosophy!
Duval!
OK, not perfect,
but the pros outweigh the cons.
Agreed.
♪ Happy birthday, dear Chidi ♪
You guys, this whole year has been amazing
for all of us.
I mean, literally every aspect of our lives
has improved.
Well, I don't know about every aspect...
SuperBoard, activate!
Good morning, Professor Anagonye.
I have your lesson plan ready to go.
SuperBoard,
some triumphant announcement music, please.
Last night, Larry Hemsworth proposed to me
and we're moving back to London
to begin planning the wedding!
- Whoa!
- Holy smokes!
Janet! Red alert!
All snowploughing has to stop immediately!
So, don't give Blake Beartles to Jason?
How are you even lugging this thing around?
I'm not sure I could bench this much weight.
Well, girls in my social class
begin ring-training at a very young age.
Oh, I'm throwing a little engagement party
tonight at my Airbnb.
It's very last minute, just come as you are.
I guess all these people...
came as they were?
Hello, everyone! I'm so glad you made it!
Holy crap, Tahani,
you found this place on Airbnb?
Oh, no. I... I see why you're confused.
I used Heir BnB. "H-E-I-R."
It's an app for heirs and heiresses
where we swap mansions, private islands
blimp hangars, that sort of thing.
Anyway, everyone,
I want you to meet Larry Hemsworth!
Oh! The legendary study group.
I'm sorry it's taken me so long
to build up the courage to meet you.
I guess you can see why.
Is he ashamed at having a perfect jawline
and 0% body fat?
Still can't believe she wants to marry me...
A dumb old paediatric surgeon
who barely has an eight-pack.
Do you know what you look like?
More importantly, did Miley Cyrus
write the song "Wrecking Ball"
about Chris's brother Liam?
Wonderful.
More questions about my talented brothers.
God forbid there's a single day
when I'm the special one.
Oh, sweetheart, don't go!
You're important too!
Fixing babies' spines
is just as valuable as acting!
Tahani booked a flight
for tomorrow morning, so...
this party is our only chance
to talk them out of moving.
Maybe we should just let them
go their separate ways
and hope that they learned enough
to get into the Good Place.
No, we know what'll happen -
the group splits up, they're screwed. No.
We have to isolate Larry and convince him
that he needs to stay in Australia.
Time to get into character, as...
Nathaniel Cookswell, mate!
Caterer to the stars!
Ah.
Maybe no accent?
Fine.
Vegemite canapé?
Oh, might as well.
Mummy was right.
I'll always be the chubby one.
Good day, mate! Nathaniel Cookswell.
- Caterer to the stars.
- Mm...
Is it true you're moving to England?
Yeah. Fly out tomorrow.
Oh. Ooh, that's a long trip.
Well, you must be a confident man,
uprooting your life like that.
You should stay here in Sydney.
It's such a dynamic international city
that you've only seen 4.8% percent of...
probably.
I reckon I know what's going on here.
You aren't real caterers, are you?
- Uh...
- Uh-uh...
Who do you work for? Australian Inquirer?
TM-Zed?
You just want us to stay here
so you can keep mocking me
"The hideous shame
of the Hemsworth family."
- Aw...
- Tahani sees through all that.
And I can't wait until we move far away
from the likes of you
and I can finally take her last name.
Hate to say it,
but the group probably needs a new member.
I dunno how we'll ever replace Tahani.
Do you think Margot Robbie
is into philosophy?
Actually, Tahani's announcement
made us take stock.
You know, Simone and I need time
to analyse the data
apply for grants -
we've kind of hit a natural stopping point.
Yeah, and the next step would be to repeat
the experiment with new subjects
you know, compare results.
Wait, what are you saying?
That... the study's over?
We're... splitting up?
No, no, no. We're just taking
a break, for...
a year or so.
And I'm sure you're all anxious
to get back home.
Yeah, I got a lot of stuff
to get back to in Phoenix.
Like...
I have a free punch card
at my spray tan place.
They'll do my left side for free... so...
No, no, no, no!
The whole group is splintering!
OK, new emergency plan.
I'll deal with Eleanor,
I... I... I know it's risky
but I don't think she'll recognise me.
And I'll deal with Sweet Cheeks.
I mean, Jason's butt!
I mean, Jason.
- Shrimp?
- Always.
- So... how do you know Miss Al-Jamil?
- Mmm.
- You work with her at the university?
- Used to.
That study is done-zo.
I was finally starting to figure things out
and now I have to start over from scratch.
Again.
Boy, I know how that goes -
not wanting something to end.
Feeling like your little team is the
last thing standing between you and oblivion
that at any moment,
the universe could fold up around you
and squeeze the last breath
from your dying lungs.
You're a caterer, right?
It's a very competitive industry.
The-the point is, I bet that if the study
means that much to you
it means a lot to everyone else.
You're all just probably waiting
for someone to say it out loud.
You want some cocktail sauce with that?
I would like to acknowledge the wonderful
group of people who brought me here.
If I hadn't decided
to get out of the spotlight
of my "Get Out of the Spotlight" Tour,
and come here
and join the Brainy Bunch,
I never would have reconnected with Larry.
- Aww!
- So, to celebrate our group...
I had my favourite pâtissier whip this up.
Would any of you like to say a few words?
Eleanor!
Yay! Eleanor!
If nobody minds, uh...
I would like to address...
the people on this cake, I suppose.
I get that we all have meaningful lives
outside the study.
Well, Tahani and Chidi do.
Jason and I are straight trash.
- Ka-kaw!
- But, just...
I mean, think about how much progress
we've all made since that picture was taken.
I know that what we're doing is important,
and I'm not ready to stop.
And I don't think you guys are either.
So let's all stay here, and keep it going.
What do you say?
Eleanor!
That was absolutely... lovely.
It really was. And I am...
I'm so glad that this study
meant that much to you.
But, realistically...
That's cool. I get it.
No, you don't need to say it. I...
I got it. That's all she wrote. Cool.
Are you OK? I hope you're not mad.
No, I'm not mad. I'm actually laughing.
Because this whole study was a hilarious,
stupid, pointless joke
and now it's over, so let's hit the road.
I don't need you guys.
You don't need me,
and since you don't need me
I'm just gonna take the "me"
out of this cake.
No!
Eleanor, please!
Oh, sorry, the deed is done!
Pip pip, too late!
Ah, farewell to you, my liege.
And a jolly good Saint Ploopington's Day
to all of you!
USA! USA! USA!
Eleanor? Is that you?
No.
Called a cab like 20 minutes ago.
It says it's ten kilometres away,
which is... I don't even know how far.
It's a little over six miles.
Is that why you came out here?
To scold me about the metric system?
No, I was about to call a cab myself.
I have an early class tomorrow.
Then I saw my friend hiding behind a plant
and I got concerned,
then my friend lashed out at me again
so, I'm gonna take off and, uh,
leave her here with dirty leaves in her hair.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait...
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, don't go.
You're a brain scientist.
Can you tell me why I did that in there?
I mostly do clinical research
in neuroscience.
I don't really specialise
in temper tantrums.
Maybe you need a child psychologist,
or a binkie?
That's a solid burn. I deserved it.
I did. But please, can you help me?
Why did I do that?
OK, here's my guess.
As humans evolved, the first big problem
we had to overcome was "me versus us"
learning to sacrifice a little individual
freedom for the benefit of a group.
You know, like sharing food and resources
so we don't starve
- or get eaten by tigers, things like that.
- OK, with you so far.
The next problem to overcome
was "us versus them"
trying to see other groups,
different from ours, as equals.
That one, we're still struggling with.
It's why we have racism and nationalism,
and...
why fans of Stone Cold Steve Austin
hate fans of The Rock.
No, we hate The Rock
because he went Hollywood
and Stone Cold keeps it real,
so The Rock's fans are the real jabronis.
Point made. Keep going.
Well, what's interesting about you is...
I don't think you ever got past
the "me versus us" stage.
I mean, have you ever been part of a group
that you really cared about?
- I was in the Girl Scouts.
- Really?
Technically, I joined under a fake name
because I wanted to steal a bunch of cookies.
See? The Brainy Bunch is basically the first
group that became part of your self-identity
and now that's breaking up,
you're feeling this new kind of loss.
And you're scared
of going back to being alone.
I mean, that's just my guess -
the other possible medical diagnosis
is that you're just a bit of a dick.
Why don't you take my cab?
I think "me" needs to go apologise to "us."
And thank you.
The point is...
I'm not really an "I'm sorry" type girl.
I'm more of a,
"It's your fault your car got keyed
in the movie theatre parking lot
because you wouldn't shut up
while watching John Wick"... type girl.
But... I'm sorry that I freaked out.
Just really gonna miss you guys.
We're gonna miss you too.
Here's an idea - what if we all agree
to a yearly reunion?
And then that way,
The Brainy Bunch never dies!
Each summer, we could all stay
in one of our respective houses
mega-yachts, ski chalets, what have you.
We should all meet up in Jacksonville!
My house is right on the water.
It didn't used to be,
but the whole city is a swamp
- and it's sinking into the ocean!
- Woo!
Strong pitch, bud.
Next year in Jacksonville.
Yeah!
Uh, we might not want to wait a whole year -
it's sinking really fast.
We should have a toast!
OK, I think I figured out a plan
where they stay in Australia
and only five random
bystanders get hurt.
It's called "arson." Let's go!
Michael, no. We can't keep meddling forever.
It's time to park the snowplough,
and trust that the humans
will make progress on their own.
This isn't like your afterlife
Neighbourhood, Michael.
You can't just reset things the moment
something doesn't go according to your plan.
Oh, Janet, you're a genius.
Correct. I know everything.
You just gave me this crazy idea.
It's so crazy, it just might... fail.
It'll probably fail.
But it also might work!
I open the door to the afterlife.
You keep a lookout,
while I break into the Judge's chamber
and reset the timeline on Earth.
Then we do it all over again!
But correctly - we won't wait a year
to get them all together again.
We'll get the study going right away!
Do you even know how to reset
the timeline on Earth?
No. I'm assuming that there's, you know...
a knob or a... or a button or, you know,
maybe you...
maybe you unplug it
and then plug it right back in?
I-I don't... There's gotta be a way!
Michael, before you do this...
No! No more waiting.
This is all we have, Janet.
We have Chidi and Eleanor
and Tahani and Jason
and that is it.
If we can't get them enough afterlife points
to get them into the Good Place
then there's no point in us even being here.
We have to try.
OK. Let's do this.
O-OK.
What the hell is that?
Oh! Hey, guys!
What are you doing down here?
That was an insane thing
for us to do.
Oh! OK, good news.
I have the Doorman's key,
so no one will be able to come after us.
Let's just try t...
Your key is ringing.
I have a question for you.
Are you out of your damn mind?
Your Honour,
look at it from my point of view.
I have never been this angry in my life
which is the age of the universe!
I understand, but saving the souls of these
four humans is more important, so...
we're not coming back until we do.
Oh, don't you even try coming back here
cos when you walk through that door
I am gonna be waiting for you.
Sorry, Judge, I think you're breaking up.
That's impossible.
It's a magical key, you dick.
What are you doing? I can see you!
This is perfect.
We're right near Chidi's office,
and as far as I can tell
the whole floor is abandoned.
What do they use it for? Storage?
- No, this is the journalism department.
- Huh.
Bad for the world, good for us.
So, somehow, with none of our powers
we have to keep the group intact
and monitor their ethical progress.
- So, how do we do that?
- Not sure.
There's no way to track people's actual
point totals
only the Accountants
have that information, but...
I did install cameras and microphones,
so at least we can keep our eye on them.
- Let's get peepin'!
- Ho!
Oh, no. Not a great start.
Eleanor farted
and then she blamed it on her chair.
That's gonna cost her at least a few points.
There's a bolt missing or something...
Before we begin,
Trevor is dropping out of the study.
He sent me an email last night.
"I'm sad to inform you that I am too ugly
and stupid to be in the study
and I'm going home to my mummy."
That was me. I wrote that email!
That's too bad, but we press on.
We're on to stage two of the study.
I'm going to teach you some
philosophical principals
and then we will explore how those ideas have
affected your personal moral machineries.
Sorry, Eleanor, did you say something?
No, it's my chair.
It's got this weird design...
- Your chair smells bad.
- I know!
See? Another person who agrees,
it's the chair.
Great news, everyone!
The funding from the Neuroscience department
came through!
And you blew it all on cupcakes?
Exactly what I would have done.
Respect.
- Eleanor?
- Ah... I'm good.
I try to avoid pointless group activities,
you know, like office Christmas parties
or jury duty.
To me, the single most awful sound
in the universe is that mangled
opening note of your co-workers singing
"Happy Birthday".
Cool stance.
Counterpoint -
these are delicious free cupcakes.
Get over yourself and eat one.
Fine.
Oh! You guys,
let's take a picture!
Everyone get in, get in,
and say, uh... Oh!
Say "ventromedial prefrontal cortex"!
Jaguars rule!
Hey, Teach? I've been having
so much fun here, but...
I didn't plan to stay in Australia
this long, and I'm super broke.
Any idea where I can get a part-time gig?
- What kind of work are you looking for?
- Well, I'm really good at telemarketing.
I can usually guess how long to microwave
food without looking at the box.
I'd say those are my two main skills.
OK.
- Dang it!
- I'll see what I can do.
If Eleanor has to get a job,
she'll miss class
and that'll slow down her progress.
Are you sure we should be doing this?
It kind of feels like cheating.
No, no, it's not cheating.
Think of us as a snowplough,
clearing a path for Eleanor
so she can more easily drive along
the road of improvement.
Ooh, I love that!
You really painted a picture there.
G'day, how can I help you?
One scratch-off lottery ticket, please!
Oh! Not that one. Keep going.
Keep going. Keep going.
These tickets were printed
before we got down here.
I know which ones are the winners!
And... stop!
That's the one. Good ol' lucky
number 186 from the bottom!
- Here you go.
- Also!
That bathroom key that you lost
nine months ago, slid under the register.
And the woman that you think is your aunt
is actually your mum.
OK, bye!
You guys, this is nuts.
This morning, I found a lottery ticket
on the ground outside my apartment.
I scratched it off...
and I won $18,000!
- Wow!
- That's amazing!
Better luck next time.
Yes. Sorry, from context, I see
that is actually a large sum of money.
Jason? You OK there, mate?
No.
I have to watch the Jaguar games alone,
on my computer at like three in the morning
on Mondays. It's so annoying.
Everything here is in a...
I don't know how to describe it, like...
a different zone of time.
No, that sounds stupid.
A different clock land.
I'll watch the game with you, Jason!
I enjoy American football -
I actually dated a player once.
But he wasn't my type,
so I set him up with my friend Gisele...
- Bündchen.
- Yeah, we got it. We always get it.
Awesome!
But if you want to watch with me,
you have to learn my Jaguars cheer.
It goes, "Let's go, Jags!
Kick their ass! Yeah!"
Do you think you can learn that
by the weekend?
I shall do my best.
Nice! See you then!
- Why do you want to watch football with Jason?
- I don't, really.
But I am, these days,
as you might say in America
"mad horny".
Oh!
- OK, well...
- Oh, boy.
No judgements, babe. He's a straight hottie.
- You want to smash Jason, go smash.
- Tahani getting together with Jason
even casually, could tear this group apart.
We have to nip this in the bud.
Well, it makes me slightly uneasy
to interfere in the personal life
of the man that I am secretly in love with
and a woman I admire
but if you think we should,
I-I'm not gonna argue.
Time to break out
the ol' snowplough again, Janet.
Let's find Tahani a loving,
supportive companion.
Great idea.
Oh, you know, this is not as crucial
to the mission
but I'd also love to arrange for them to get
better computers, help them work faster.
If I'm going to the mall anyway, I might
as well pick Jason up some jean shorts
the kind with the frayed edges,
where you can see the pockets
coming out the bottom?
So that he can... study better.
Sure.
Tahani? Is that you?
Larry Hemsworth? My goodness!
That's so funny, I just got a call from
the restaurant about a jacket I left here
and now here you are!
I can't believe you remember me.
Of course I remember you! We dated.
I know, I just never expect anyone
to remember me.
Because I'm only 6ft 4",
and I have one of those forgettable faces.
Well, uh... I'm sure you're busy,
probably don't wanna talk to me.
I get it, I wouldn't either,
I'm as dull as a rock.
Ugh. Even that analogy was boring,
I'm sorry.
I'm so dull, and I'm ugly,
I'm like a rock... urgh!
- Stupid Larry! Stop talking about rocks!
- No, no, Larry, please!
It's lovely to see you.
Sit down, let's catch up!
How are Chris and Liam and Luke?
Sorry, no.
I won't mention your brothers again.
As long as you don't mention my sister!
Oh!
Mm-mm...
Who are you? Do you work here?
Your name is Montgomery Wycoff.
Your ex-wife Samantha still loves you
but she's afraid to call.
You must show her your poetry.
Go to her. Go to her!
- Looks like you had a good night!
- I did.
You and Jason, imagine that.
To be fair, I have.
Actually, I was with an ex-boyfriend.
I ran into him unexpectedly,
and the reunion was a "smashing" success.
It's a pun, you see.
- We had intercourse.
- Yeah, again, I always get it.
I do feel bad, though. I completely forgot
about watching the game with Jason.
Homies, guess what?
Yesterday I got a Facebook invite
to the Australia chapter
of the Jacksonville Jaguars Fan Club!
Yeah, I think he's over it.
Me and two other dudes just watched the Jags
annihilate the Texans!
It was super fun, I'm completely wasted.
I gotta go barf one last time,
and then I'll be ready to learn philosophy!
Duval!
OK, not perfect,
but the pros outweigh the cons.
Agreed.
♪ Happy birthday, dear Chidi ♪
You guys, this whole year has been amazing
for all of us.
I mean, literally every aspect of our lives
has improved.
Well, I don't know about every aspect...
SuperBoard, activate!
Good morning, Professor Anagonye.
I have your lesson plan ready to go.
SuperBoard,
some triumphant announcement music, please.
Last night, Larry Hemsworth proposed to me
and we're moving back to London
to begin planning the wedding!
- Whoa!
- Holy smokes!
Janet! Red alert!
All snowploughing has to stop immediately!
So, don't give Blake Beartles to Jason?
How are you even lugging this thing around?
I'm not sure I could bench this much weight.
Well, girls in my social class
begin ring-training at a very young age.
Oh, I'm throwing a little engagement party
tonight at my Airbnb.
It's very last minute, just come as you are.
I guess all these people...
came as they were?
Hello, everyone! I'm so glad you made it!
Holy crap, Tahani,
you found this place on Airbnb?
Oh, no. I... I see why you're confused.
I used Heir BnB. "H-E-I-R."
It's an app for heirs and heiresses
where we swap mansions, private islands
blimp hangars, that sort of thing.
Anyway, everyone,
I want you to meet Larry Hemsworth!
Oh! The legendary study group.
I'm sorry it's taken me so long
to build up the courage to meet you.
I guess you can see why.
Is he ashamed at having a perfect jawline
and 0% body fat?
Still can't believe she wants to marry me...
A dumb old paediatric surgeon
who barely has an eight-pack.
Do you know what you look like?
More importantly, did Miley Cyrus
write the song "Wrecking Ball"
about Chris's brother Liam?
Wonderful.
More questions about my talented brothers.
God forbid there's a single day
when I'm the special one.
Oh, sweetheart, don't go!
You're important too!
Fixing babies' spines
is just as valuable as acting!
Tahani booked a flight
for tomorrow morning, so...
this party is our only chance
to talk them out of moving.
Maybe we should just let them
go their separate ways
and hope that they learned enough
to get into the Good Place.
No, we know what'll happen -
the group splits up, they're screwed. No.
We have to isolate Larry and convince him
that he needs to stay in Australia.
Time to get into character, as...
Nathaniel Cookswell, mate!
Caterer to the stars!
Ah.
Maybe no accent?
Fine.
Vegemite canapé?
Oh, might as well.
Mummy was right.
I'll always be the chubby one.
Good day, mate! Nathaniel Cookswell.
- Caterer to the stars.
- Mm...
Is it true you're moving to England?
Yeah. Fly out tomorrow.
Oh. Ooh, that's a long trip.
Well, you must be a confident man,
uprooting your life like that.
You should stay here in Sydney.
It's such a dynamic international city
that you've only seen 4.8% percent of...
probably.
I reckon I know what's going on here.
You aren't real caterers, are you?
- Uh...
- Uh-uh...
Who do you work for? Australian Inquirer?
TM-Zed?
You just want us to stay here
so you can keep mocking me
"The hideous shame
of the Hemsworth family."
- Aw...
- Tahani sees through all that.
And I can't wait until we move far away
from the likes of you
and I can finally take her last name.
Hate to say it,
but the group probably needs a new member.
I dunno how we'll ever replace Tahani.
Do you think Margot Robbie
is into philosophy?
Actually, Tahani's announcement
made us take stock.
You know, Simone and I need time
to analyse the data
apply for grants -
we've kind of hit a natural stopping point.
Yeah, and the next step would be to repeat
the experiment with new subjects
you know, compare results.
Wait, what are you saying?
That... the study's over?
We're... splitting up?
No, no, no. We're just taking
a break, for...
a year or so.
And I'm sure you're all anxious
to get back home.
Yeah, I got a lot of stuff
to get back to in Phoenix.
Like...
I have a free punch card
at my spray tan place.
They'll do my left side for free... so...
No, no, no, no!
The whole group is splintering!
OK, new emergency plan.
I'll deal with Eleanor,
I... I... I know it's risky
but I don't think she'll recognise me.
And I'll deal with Sweet Cheeks.
I mean, Jason's butt!
I mean, Jason.
- Shrimp?
- Always.
- So... how do you know Miss Al-Jamil?
- Mmm.
- You work with her at the university?
- Used to.
That study is done-zo.
I was finally starting to figure things out
and now I have to start over from scratch.
Again.
Boy, I know how that goes -
not wanting something to end.
Feeling like your little team is the
last thing standing between you and oblivion
that at any moment,
the universe could fold up around you
and squeeze the last breath
from your dying lungs.
You're a caterer, right?
It's a very competitive industry.
The-the point is, I bet that if the study
means that much to you
it means a lot to everyone else.
You're all just probably waiting
for someone to say it out loud.
You want some cocktail sauce with that?
I would like to acknowledge the wonderful
group of people who brought me here.
If I hadn't decided
to get out of the spotlight
of my "Get Out of the Spotlight" Tour,
and come here
and join the Brainy Bunch,
I never would have reconnected with Larry.
- Aww!
- So, to celebrate our group...
I had my favourite pâtissier whip this up.
Would any of you like to say a few words?
Eleanor!
Yay! Eleanor!
If nobody minds, uh...
I would like to address...
the people on this cake, I suppose.
I get that we all have meaningful lives
outside the study.
Well, Tahani and Chidi do.
Jason and I are straight trash.
- Ka-kaw!
- But, just...
I mean, think about how much progress
we've all made since that picture was taken.
I know that what we're doing is important,
and I'm not ready to stop.
And I don't think you guys are either.
So let's all stay here, and keep it going.
What do you say?
Eleanor!
That was absolutely... lovely.
It really was. And I am...
I'm so glad that this study
meant that much to you.
But, realistically...
That's cool. I get it.
No, you don't need to say it. I...
I got it. That's all she wrote. Cool.
Are you OK? I hope you're not mad.
No, I'm not mad. I'm actually laughing.
Because this whole study was a hilarious,
stupid, pointless joke
and now it's over, so let's hit the road.
I don't need you guys.
You don't need me,
and since you don't need me
I'm just gonna take the "me"
out of this cake.
No!
Eleanor, please!
Oh, sorry, the deed is done!
Pip pip, too late!
Ah, farewell to you, my liege.
And a jolly good Saint Ploopington's Day
to all of you!
USA! USA! USA!
Eleanor? Is that you?
No.
Called a cab like 20 minutes ago.
It says it's ten kilometres away,
which is... I don't even know how far.
It's a little over six miles.
Is that why you came out here?
To scold me about the metric system?
No, I was about to call a cab myself.
I have an early class tomorrow.
Then I saw my friend hiding behind a plant
and I got concerned,
then my friend lashed out at me again
so, I'm gonna take off and, uh,
leave her here with dirty leaves in her hair.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait...
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, don't go.
You're a brain scientist.
Can you tell me why I did that in there?
I mostly do clinical research
in neuroscience.
I don't really specialise
in temper tantrums.
Maybe you need a child psychologist,
or a binkie?
That's a solid burn. I deserved it.
I did. But please, can you help me?
Why did I do that?
OK, here's my guess.
As humans evolved, the first big problem
we had to overcome was "me versus us"
learning to sacrifice a little individual
freedom for the benefit of a group.
You know, like sharing food and resources
so we don't starve
- or get eaten by tigers, things like that.
- OK, with you so far.
The next problem to overcome
was "us versus them"
trying to see other groups,
different from ours, as equals.
That one, we're still struggling with.
It's why we have racism and nationalism,
and...
why fans of Stone Cold Steve Austin
hate fans of The Rock.
No, we hate The Rock
because he went Hollywood
and Stone Cold keeps it real,
so The Rock's fans are the real jabronis.
Point made. Keep going.
Well, what's interesting about you is...
I don't think you ever got past
the "me versus us" stage.
I mean, have you ever been part of a group
that you really cared about?
- I was in the Girl Scouts.
- Really?
Technically, I joined under a fake name
because I wanted to steal a bunch of cookies.
See? The Brainy Bunch is basically the first
group that became part of your self-identity
and now that's breaking up,
you're feeling this new kind of loss.
And you're scared
of going back to being alone.
I mean, that's just my guess -
the other possible medical diagnosis
is that you're just a bit of a dick.
Why don't you take my cab?
I think "me" needs to go apologise to "us."
And thank you.
The point is...
I'm not really an "I'm sorry" type girl.
I'm more of a,
"It's your fault your car got keyed
in the movie theatre parking lot
because you wouldn't shut up
while watching John Wick"... type girl.
But... I'm sorry that I freaked out.
Just really gonna miss you guys.
We're gonna miss you too.
Here's an idea - what if we all agree
to a yearly reunion?
And then that way,
The Brainy Bunch never dies!
Each summer, we could all stay
in one of our respective houses
mega-yachts, ski chalets, what have you.
We should all meet up in Jacksonville!
My house is right on the water.
It didn't used to be,
but the whole city is a swamp
- and it's sinking into the ocean!
- Woo!
Strong pitch, bud.
Next year in Jacksonville.
Yeah!
Uh, we might not want to wait a whole year -
it's sinking really fast.
We should have a toast!
OK, I think I figured out a plan
where they stay in Australia
and only five random
bystanders get hurt.
It's called "arson." Let's go!
Michael, no. We can't keep meddling forever.
It's time to park the snowplough,
and trust that the humans
will make progress on their own.
This isn't like your afterlife
Neighbourhood, Michael.
You can't just reset things the moment
something doesn't go according to your plan.
Oh, Janet, you're a genius.
Correct. I know everything.
You just gave me this crazy idea.
It's so crazy, it just might... fail.
It'll probably fail.
But it also might work!
I open the door to the afterlife.
You keep a lookout,
while I break into the Judge's chamber
and reset the timeline on Earth.
Then we do it all over again!
But correctly - we won't wait a year
to get them all together again.
We'll get the study going right away!
Do you even know how to reset
the timeline on Earth?
No. I'm assuming that there's, you know...
a knob or a... or a button or, you know,
maybe you...
maybe you unplug it
and then plug it right back in?
I-I don't... There's gotta be a way!
Michael, before you do this...
No! No more waiting.
This is all we have, Janet.
We have Chidi and Eleanor
and Tahani and Jason
and that is it.
If we can't get them enough afterlife points
to get them into the Good Place
then there's no point in us even being here.
We have to try.
OK. Let's do this.
O-OK.
What the hell is that?
Oh! Hey, guys!
What are you doing down here?