The Golden Girls (1985–1992): Season 7, Episode 10 - Room Seven - full transcript

♪ Thank you for being a friend

♪ Traveled down the
road and back again

♪ Your heart is true

♪ You're a pal and a confidant

♪ And if you threw a party

♪ Invited everyone you knew

♪ You would see

♪ The biggest gift
would be from me

♪ And the card
attached would say

♪ Thank you for being a friend ♪

Well, I do not believe it.
I simply do not believe it.



What, Blanche?

Oh, Dorothy, I just talked
to somebody back home,

and they are doin'
the most horrible thing.

They are tearin' down
the most important building

in Blanche Devereaux's
family history.

Oh, my God, they're
tearing down Mattress World.

Even worse than that.

They are tearin' down
the place where I spent

my happiest moments as a child.

Oh, I'm sorry, Blanche.

They're tearing down Boys Town.

Dorothy, they are tearin' down

Grammy Hollingsworth's
plantation.

That beautiful old place
is gonna be gone forever.



I used to spend my summers
there, and Christmas vacations.

And whenever there
was a fight in the house

between Big Daddy
and Big Mommy...

Big Mommy...

Gee, I don't think I ever
knew her name before.

Dorothy, I just
don't believe you.

When you were a child,

didn't you have some beautiful,
fantastic place where you'd go,

and it would seem
just like a fairyland?

Oh, that's right. You
grew up in Brooklyn.

(SCOFFS)

ROSE: Dorothy,
hurry! It's Sophia.

She's passed out!

What? Oh!

Oh, my God, Ma!

I don't know what happened.
I came in, she was choking.

This isn't working.

Dorothy?

Dorothy?

Where am I?

ANGEL: Sophia.

Welcome to heaven.

I'm in heaven? That's right.

"Heaven" heaven? I
went straight to heaven?

No stops? No purgatory?

Purgatory?

(CHUCKLING) Oh, you Catholics.

Look, why don't you
make yourself comfortable?

I have to prepare
for our next arrival,

and actually, I'm
rather excited.

It's a televangelist.

Why is that exciting?

We've never had one here before.

So this is heaven.

SAL: Sophia! Sophia!

Hey, who's that?

Who's calling me?

It's me. You know... (CHUCKLES)

Oh, Sal, is that you?

Could it possibly be you?

Oh, Sal, please
prove to me it's you.

(IMITATING JAMES CAGNEY)
You dirty rat. You killed my brother.

Oh, Sal, it is you!

You always did
such a great Cagney.

Sweetheart, how do you feel?

How do I feel?

I feel great.

Hey, this is wonderful.
My bunions don't hurt,

my arthritis is
gone, and my teeth...

Are teeth!

Here, all the parts work.

Oh, I've missed you.

And I missed you.

I wish you knew how much.

I'm not letting go.
I'm never letting go.

Come on, Rose! Come on!

I'm trying! I'm trying!

Well, try harder!

(COUGHING)

There you go, honey.
There you go. There you go.

Sal? Sal?

Ma, are you okay?

What happened? Oh,
Ma, you were choking.

You passed out.
Rose saved your life.

But I was in heaven
and with your father.

I didn't want to come back.

Thanks for nothing, you nitwit.

Ma, stop that. Rose
did save your life.

Besides, you were not in heaven.

You were probably just dreaming.

You don't believe me.

Your father even sent a message.

I'm sure he did, but right now,
you should calm down, Ma.

We can talk about that later.

Fine. Okay. If you
think that's best.

Oh, Ma.

So, anyway, Dorothy, like I was
saying about Grammy's plantation...

Blanche, I cannot believe you!

You said you weren't
gonna talk about this till later.

I know, but Ma almost died.

Well, she's got her
color back, hasn't she?

Really, Blanche,

what could be so
important about a building?

I will tell you what
is so important.

It was my home away
from home as a child.

Especially my bedroom.

Grammy and I would have
all our late night talks up there.

And now they're tearin' it down.

Oh, that's terrible.

My Grammy's plantation
was the one place

I consistently felt
loved as a child.

Now they're gonna put a
steel ball through her house,

through my room.

Oh, don't you see?

It's just like they're
killin' a part of me.

Oh, poor, Blanche.
You know, I...

I actually do
feel sorry for her.

Oh, yeah, my heart
goes out to her, too.

Hello, did I mention I died?

Oh, hi, Ma. Where you been? Out.

After yesterday,
I decided to take

the time and stop
and smell the roses.

Ah, that's nice, Ma.

And you know where
they have great roses?

At the dog track in Lauderdale.

By the way, your Bonneville
shakes when you go over 65.

Ma, you were driving?
What is wrong with you?

What, do you have
some sort of a death wish?

No, I have a life wish.
I've seen the white light.

Now that I know there's a
place for me on the other side,

I'm not gonna live
in fear anymore.

Pussycat, what's
that on your blouse?

See? I laugh in
the face of death.

(LAUGHING EXAGGERATEDLY)

Ma, stop it. I don't want
to hear about this dream

that is making you act reckless.

The doctor says it was a lack of
oxygen that made you hallucinate.

All right, I won't tell you what your
father said. I won't say another word.

The light! The light!

I'm coming to you, Salie!

Ma, enough with the white light.

You are making me crazy.

Well, I'm off to Atlanta.

You're going where?
To Grammy's plantation.

I have to see it one more time.

Sweetheart, wouldn't
it better to just let go?

But I can't.

It was hard enough lettin'
go when Grammy died.

The family had
to sell Grand View,

and it got turned into
an old bed and breakfast.

But at least I could visit.

And have breakfast.

Thank you, Sophia.

Pancakes, by the looks of it.

Thank you, Sophia.

Honey, you know we'd
go with you if it would help,

but by tomorrow,
Grand View will be gone.

And we'd have to drive all
night and stop at a motel,

and we all know
how you hate to drive.

Well, I found a way around that.

Hey, Blanche, I figured
out this treasure map.

It's buried somewhere
outside Atlanta.

Let's roll.

ROSE: Let's try it
now with Dorothy.

♪ Dorothy, Dorothy, bo-borthy

♪ Bonana fanna fo-forthy

♪ Fee, fy, mo-morthy... ♪

(TIRES SCREECHING)

DOROTHY: Get out, Rose.

This is it, Grand View.

Wow, I've never been
to the Deep South before.

Well, let's go back.

Ma, I still cannot believe what
you were doing on the interstate.

I was living for
the day, pussycat.

You were mooning a chain gang!

And did you see the
smiles on their faces?

They probably hadn't
seen a woman in years.

I guess not.

No, they kept up with us
through four warning shots.

Oh, Blanche, you must
have so many memories here.

Oh, are you kidding?

I cannot tell you how many
Christmases I spent in this place.

Grammy's butler would bring
us our eggnog by the hearth,

and Grammy and
I would sing carols

and put out gingerbread
men for St. Nick and...

Oh, and over there
would be Grandpappy,

drinkin' out of his
jug with the X's on it,

and wearin' his Santa's beard,

and just screamin' at the lawn
jockey to do him a little dance.

Oh, Rose, hold me.

Oh, honey.

Can I help you folks?

Uh, look, excuse me, you
don't... you don't really know me.

My name is Blanche Devereaux.
My family used to live here,

and I would very much like to
see my old bedroom. It's Room 7.

Oh, please, we came
all the way from Miami.

Okay, but you better
be quick about it.

We're gonna blow this
place up in two hours.

I get to push the plunger,
'cause it's my birthday.

Well, happy birthday.

Thanks. Come on, girls.

Excuse me, sir,
but I died yesterday,

and it occurs to me I never
experienced Southern food.

So send a possum to Room 7.

And tell my
daughter it's chicken.

And Grammy's wind chimes.

Oh, she loved wind chimes.

Had them in every room.

And my balcony.

Oh, I remember as a girl of 10,

I used to wander out here,

and all the little boys from all
around would come and serenade me.

♪ I see London, I see France

♪ I see Blanche's underpants ♪

Rose, hold me.

Oh, honey.

Oh, Blanche, please.

Now, honey, I know it's hard,

but we've been
here over an hour.

And you've shown us the balcony,

you've shown us the wind chimes,

you've shown us the seven
places you lost your virginity.

Blanche, please,
it's getting late.

Dorothy's right. You really have
had a chance to say goodbye.

But I can't. I can't say
goodbye. Oh, Blanche.

Oh, Dorothy, I... I know
that there's somethin'

I haven't told you
about this room.

Somethin' I haven't said,

because I was afraid
you'd think I was weird.

My Grammy, she's in this room.

Hey, man, cool.

Oh, Blanche, come on.
You only think she's here.

You and Grammy
spent a lot of time here,

and the memories are so alive.

Of course you can... You
can almost feel her here.

Right, Rose?

Well, she's not under the bed.

Dorothy, I know it sounds odd,

but this is the room
where Grammy and I

used to have all of
our heart-to-hearts.

I would snuggle up in one
of her homemade afghans,

and whatever problems I had
in life, she would make right.

And then after she died,

she started coming to me
here, and the talks didn't stop.

And she's not in the closet.

Okay, folks, that's it.

Get out or get blown up.

Dorothy, all of my life
she's been helpin' me!

All of my life!

And I just don't know
what I would do without her.

Blanche, what are you doing?

If they're gonna
blow this place up,

they're gonna
do it with me in it.

Oh, now, come on.
Blanche, this is ridiculous.

You can't stay here all night.

You're gonna have
to eat sometime.

Oh, this is where you
don't know me, Dorothy.

I can go for days without
food, if that's what it takes.

Oh, come on, Blanche.

You've been known to debone
a chicken from across the room.

You know, Blanche,
when my father died,

I heard his voice, too,

or what I thought was his voice.

Honey, it happens to everybody.

It's wishful thinking.

We want to hear them, so we do.

You don't believe that Grammy's
here, that she talks to me.

Of course I do, sweetheart.

(IMITATING SOUTHERN ACCENT)
Blanche, this is your Grammy.

Y'all get yourself out of
here, you dumb peckerwood.

Oh, I heard it that time, too.

Feets, don't fail me now!

How dare you mock my Grammy?

Oh, Blanche, honey,
you've lost the battle,

but at least you can still come
here and visit the grounds.

It won't be the same.

Dorothy, they're gonna
build a cheap motel here.

You'll be back.

And you can look at these
magnificent magnolias,

and stroll that
beautiful hillside and...

Ma? Ma, what the hell
are you doing on the roof?

SOPHIA: Living for
the day, pussycat.

I never jumped into
a haystack before.

Ma! Geronimo!

My God!

Dorothy, is she okay?

Yeah, I think so.
Rose broke her fall.

Rose, are you okay?

ROSE: Charlie?
Charlie, is that you?

Great, another one
who hears voices.

That's it. I've had it.

My mother is impossible.

You are impossible.

You can just rot
here for all I care.

I do wish you would give
me the benefit of the doubt.

Why can't you give
me the benefit of logic?

Look, Blanche, I'm
not saying you're crazy,

but places, smells, sounds,

they're all very
powerful suggestions.

I mean, isn't it possible this is
all your imagination, Blanche?

(WIND CHIMES TINKLING)

Blanche?

Fine.

How long do you think
you can stay handcuffed?

My personal best is 32 hours.

But of course, then I had
somebody to play with.

Blanche, I want to be here
when the dynamite goes off.

I want to ride the
rocket with you.

Sophia, I just wonder if
maybe Dorothy's right.

Could this whole Grammy thing

be somethin' I just talked
myself into believing?

Some kind of childhood nonsense?

Dorothy doesn't understand
about these things.

You know, her father sent
her a very special message,

and she doesn't even
want me to tell her about it.

You can tell me
about it, Sophia.

Really? Oh, yes,
I'd love to hear it.

Picture it. Heaven.

Two days ago.

I'm holding onto Sal,
telling him I'll never let go,

when who shows up...
(THUNDER RUMBLING)

Uh-oh.

What is it? What's going on?

You're not gonna
believe this, Sophia, but...

God, Sophia. Sophia, God.

Wow, now I see where
Jesus got those eyes.

(SHUSHING)

He's talking.

Yeah, yes, I understand, God.

I know these things happen.

What? Well, if you want.

(IMITATING JAMES
CAGNEY) You dirty rat.

Sal, you look so
sad. What's wrong?

God says it's not your time yet.

You gotta go back, Sophia.

But I wanna be with you.
I don't wanna go back.

He pretty much gets
his way in these things.

Besides, someone's got to
take care of little spumoni-face.

Who? Dorothy.

When I worked
late, I'd come home,

we had our little
secret ice cream club,

and that was the
nickname I gave her.

And what was her
nickname for you?

Favorite parent.

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

It's time, Sophia.

Do I have to?

Don't be so sad.

We'll be together again.

I love you, Sal.

And I love you.

And tell my little
spumoni-face something.

I'm proud of her.

(SHOUTING)
You're right, Blanche,

these naked Southern
guys sure can dance.

I don't think she's
coming down, Rose.

You know, I have a good
mind to just strand her here.

Can you believe that woman?

Hey, Dorothy, have
you seen this yet?

B.H.?

B.H.

Blanche Hollingsworth.

Oh, Blanche must have written
this when she was a little girl.

(CHUCKLING)

Can you imagine
Blanche as a little girl,

running and skipping all
through this house, so carefree?

I can almost hear her laughing.

You know, I...

I can almost feel
her spirit here.

And if I can feel
her spirit here,

then why is it so ridiculous

that Blanche feels the spirit
of her grandma upstairs?

And is it such a leap
of faith to believe that

Ma was in the white light?

I mean, why am I
making it such a crusade

not to believe
either one of them?

What am I, just an ostrich
with its head in the ground?

A narrow-minded ostrich, who...

Who only believes
what she can see

and feel and touch?

Oh, Rose. Simple Rose.

Rose, you are so wise.

Actually, I spoke with
the demolitions guy.

B.H. stands for "Blast here."

Okay, boys, upstairs we go.

Wait a minute. What the
hell do you think you're doing?

Now look, I'm a patient man,

but your friend is trespassing,

and I'm having her
hauled out of here.

Let's go, boys. You hold it!

I'm not gonna let you do this.

Blanche is in a very
fragile state up there.

I'll be damned if
I'm gonna let you

treat her like a
common criminal.

Dorothy, it's all right.
I'm... I'm coming down.

Blanche. You're out.

Blanche, what happened?
What changed your mind?

Grammy came. She
told me it was time.

Are you okay, honey?

Oh, yeah. We had
a wonderful visit.

Oh, excuse me, sir, but do
you mind if I take a souvenir?

Go ahead.

You got a lot of
sweet memories here.

I had a Grammy once, myself.

Okay, boys, let's go
celebrate my birthday.

Blanche, you need a
minute to say goodbye?

Thanks.

(LITTLE GIRL GIGGLING)

♪ ...beer on the wall

♪ Three bottles
of beer on the wall

♪ Three bottles of beer

♪ Take one down, pass it around

♪ Two bottles of
beer on the wall ♪

Well, I'm off to bed.

"Two bottles of beer"?

Rose, you get all the way to
two bottles of beer and you quit?

Just drives you nuts,
doesn't it, Dorothy?

Oh, what a wonderful ride home.

I bet there must've been a
million stars up in the sky.

And I got to spend
it all with my friends.

Well, good night.

Well, whatever happened up in
that room sure did her a world of good.

Excuse me?

Well, it's just that I've...
I've never seen her like this.

She must have had a
really great experience.

Oh, Blanche has a great
experience, but your mother is a nut.

Ma, I never said that.

Then why won't you talk
to me about the white light?

It scares me, all right?

It makes me feel like
you're embracing death,

and I don't want to see that.

I want you to
rail against it, Ma.

I said I wasn't scared
of dying anymore.

I didn't say I was ready to die.

Look, Dorothy, you don't
have to believe all of this,

but stop trying to
take it away from me.

I'm going to bed.

Good night, spumoni-face.

What did you call me?

Spumoni-face.

Wow. I mean, I...

I haven't heard that since
I was seven years old.

Oh, Ma, come on, this is crazy.

I probably told you
sometime and just forgot.

He says he's proud
of you, Dorothy.

Ma, I just don't
understand all this.

I mean, maybe there is
a whole lot I don't know.

Supernatural things,
hard-to-believe strange things that...

That do happen.

Probably more than
any of us knows.

What do you say we throw a sheet
over our heads and go scare Rose?

Right!

(WIND CHIMES TINKLING)

Good night, Grammy.

(SIGHS)

(WIND CHIMES TINKLING)

It's time to sleep, honey.

Some of us are still alive
and need our beauty sleep.

Be quiet, Grammy!

(TINKLING STOPS)

(SIGHS)

(WIND CHIMES TINKLING)

Peckerwood?

(SCOFFS)