The Ghost and Molly McGee (2021–…): Season 1, Episode 4 - Mama's Gotta Hustle/Hooray for Mollywood! - full transcript

Muah-hah-ha-ha!

-♪ Can't believe you're
All mine ♪
-Uh, what?

-♪ You and me for all time ♪
-Ugh!

-♪ I'm never, ever,
Ever gonna be alone again! ♪
-Oh, boy!

-♪ The dream team
You and me ♪
- For all eternity?!

♪ For all eternity! ♪

♪ It's the ghost
It's a ghost ♪

♪ And Molly McGee ♪

♪ I've been cursed
It's the worst! ♪

♪ Now you're stuck
With me! ♪

♪ We're never
Gonna be apart ♪



♪ Is there a way
To hit restart? ♪

- Nope!
-♪ We're the ghost
Ghost and Molly McGee ♪

- That's me!
- Well, that's she .

♪ The Ghost
And Molly McGee! ♪

♪ Oh, it's the McGee's
Cleaning song ♪

♪ Everybody sing along ♪

♪ The house is really dirty ♪

[Mom and Dad]
♪ So today we're intervening ♪

-♪ By cleaning ♪
-[all] The basement!

Whoa! Whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.

You've already ruined
the rest of my house,

now you want to ruin
my precious basement, too?!

Scratch, if you love
the basement so much,

why don't you live down there?



Uh, ew, no. Moldy.

I'm upset by
the principle of the thing.

How would you like it
if I messed with your things?

[loud bang]

I understand why you
think I did that, but I didn't.

-[cars honking]
-[grunting]

I really hope we can
afford these repairs.

[grunts] Our finances
are... tight.

Don't worry, Mom.
I have a no-risk
business investment!

Full disclosure, it requires
access to crypto currency,

frequent travel to Sweden,
and, uh, a stomach for danger.

Not falling for that.
Again.

Since our whole family
uses the van,

we should all pitch in.

I will forgo my allowance.

-Darryl will, too.
-What?!

You can't forgo for me!

No forgoing!
Kids, keep your allowances.

It's probably just
a small teeny-tiny problem

that won't cost
much money to fix.

It's a huge problem.

It's gonna cost
a lot of money to fix.

[bell chimes]

I don't suppose you take

an old Sub Shack punch card?

It's got a free BLT!

Eh-eh.

Uh, spitballing here,

Are we sure we even
need a van?

We could all just stay at home,
going absolutely nowhere

with our lives. Fovever!

Doesn't that sound fun, kids?
Help.

With all the moving costs,
utility bills,

credit card debt,

and now we have
another mouth to feed...

I'm a growing ghoul!

It's been a tough year

for the McGee family
savings account.

May it rest in peace.

A-are we gonna be okay?

Don't worry.
McGees always make it work.

And now that we're settled down
in our forever home,

it makes sense to have
a second income.

That's right...
Mama's gettin' a job!

That was also not me.

Why do we live so far away?!

[gasps]
I should be a meter maid.

Then I'd get paid to tell
people they're bad parkers!

You know I'd love that...

Yeah, personally,
I see you as a brain surgeon.

Although that's not really
a "starting today" thing.

I'm telling you, Mom,
reconsider nuisance lawsuits.

I know a lawyer named Ramón
who is not encumbered

with so-called "ethics."

[whistles]

Diner. Help wanted sign.
Bang. Solved it.

Like always,
Scratch is the hero.

Go cook.

I worked in my parents'
restaurant growing up,

and that was enough
kitchen work for a lifetime.

Never say "go cook" again!

[Scratch shrieks]

This morning I caught her
glaring at the stove.

[growls]

Whoa. You were not kidding.

-[groans]
-Well, it's still cleaning day.

Pete, you and the boys go ahead
and start in on the basement.

-Aww...
-What do you mean "boys"?
[grunts]

[unenthusiastic]
♪ It's the McGee's
Cleaning song ♪

♪ Hope it doesn't
Take too long ♪

Don't worry. I'll take care
of the van situation.

I have no idea how to take care
of this van situation!

-Okay...
-Where do you even
find jobs anymore?

-Well, we could look at--
-The newspaper?

-Do they even make
newspapers anymore?
-Oh, Mom. Mom!

-[groans]
-I don't know! Okay?

But they make apps.
They make apps.

[Mom] Huh. Gig... Pig.

[Molly] It's for odd jobs.

Someone needs a job done,
you do it, you get paid, Mama.

Quick cash,
just what we need!

-Good thinking!
-[app oinks]

Ooh! That was fast!

Looks like I've got
my first job.

I'm gonna come with!
This is a family problem,

and if you're doing your part,
then I'll do mine, too!

What's the gig?

Handing out free food.

[clatter]

Okay, fine! I'll come!

[rock music plays]

Where do we start?

Whoa! That's the biggest
centipede I've ever seen.

They say if you see
one centipede,

there's a thousand more
you can't see.

I think that's cockroaches...

[Darryl]
Nope. Centipedes, too!

[Dad screams]
Clear them out!

Free protein bars!

I scream, you scream,
we all scream for protein!

Mmm. [gags]

Gah! You know, I eat food
right out of the garbage.

But this...
this is garbage.

Protein bar? Protein bar?

Oh, I see you already have one.

Please, tell me,
did we make enough money yet?

-Uh...
-[chimes and oinks]

Not yet.
But we have a new job!

Thank heavens!

I gotta cleanse my palate.
[slurps]

You don't belong here!
Ahh! Ahh!

Be gone, you foul beasts!

[gasps]

Dad, I think I found something!

-Hopefully not more centipedes.
-Even better!

A tiny mysterious
old-timey door!

Can we open it?!

Darryl, I'm not exaggerating

when I say I've been
waiting my entire life

for a moment like this.

100 P, we are opening it!

[screams]

Come on, dogs!

You walk, you poop,
you pay us.

I thought we had a deal!

Huh?

[growling]

Wait, can dogs see me?

-[barking]
-I don't like it.
Make them stop!

-[screaming]
-Mom!

Ahh!

[grunt]

Ahh!

[shouting]

Ahh!

Come on, door!
[groans]

Please open!

And please have
something cool inside!

I bet it's a secret vault

where an old gangster
stored all his loot!

[Dad] Forget fixing the van,

we'll be able to buy
a new one!

Maybe one that's electric,

and drives itself,
and has a cupholder--

No, two cupholders!

No. There's only
one explanation

for where all these
centipedes came from.

That door obviously
leads to another world!

A Centipede World...

[Darryl]
There's a centipede mayor...

and a centipede school.

A centipede shoe store,
a centipede florist.

Maybe a centipede jail filled

with super-buff
centipede convicts!

Every day is leg day!

[Darryl] We'll charge admission
and make millions!

Love it. Counterpoint--

I don't think
Centipede World is real.

Remember when you didn't think
ghosts were real?

Mm. Um...

Okay, you raise
a good point.

Either way, we need to know!

We need to know.

[Scratch]
Buffalo can also see me! Ahh!

Okay, next task:
Shovel buffalo patties.

What are buffalo--?
Ugh.

[gag]

-[Scratch yells]
-[buffalo bellows]

Do we have enough money
to pay for the van repairs yet?

[chimes and oinks]

Not nearly enough.

Mom, it's not enough...yet!

Let's get Giggin', piggins!

[oinking dance beat]

♪ She's gonna
Make that cash ♪

♪ You got a family
To feed ♪

♪ Doing everything she can ♪

♪ To make ends meet ♪

♪ She's giggin'
Giggin' giggin' ♪

♪ Giggin' for a livin' ♪

♪ She'll give your
Poodle a bath ♪

♪ Give your schnauzer
A shower ♪

♪ She can steam clean
Your jeans ♪

♪ If you pay by the hour ♪

♪ She's plugged in ♪

♪ Giggin' for a livin' ♪

Let's do this.

♪ She'll cater your
Luncheon eskimo pool ♪

♪ A centipede world
Would be so cool ♪

♪ So many handcuffs ♪

♪ Every gig
Something new ♪

♪ Ride or die for a
Five-star review ♪

♪ She's workin' hard
Workin' hard ♪

♪ She's on a roll
Roll ♪

♪ Up to her elbows
In toxic mold! ♪

Wait, what?

♪ She's giggin' ♪

Did she say "toxic mold"?

♪ She's giggin' ♪

[Scratch] Leave me alone!

♪ She's giggin'
Giggin' giggin' ♪

♪ She's giggin'
for a livin' ♪

Do we need to go see a doctor?

♪ You'll be fine! ♪

[oinks]

Dad, no matter what's
behind this door,

I will remember
this moment forever.

Me, too.
This is the moment

when you and I,
father and son,

worked together
to unravel a mystery

beyond all imagination

and save this family
from financial ruin.

[engine chugs]

Come on, Centipede World!

[sighs]

Every... thing... hurts.

At least you weren't viciously
attacked by wild hounds!

And look at
my little puny bit.

Now it looks like
old gum!

-[barking]
-Ahh!

How are we doing, Mom?

We gotta be close
to our goal by now.

[triumphant chime]

-We did it! We actually did it!
-We did it?

[laughter]

See? When we come together
as a family,

there's nothing
we can't accomplish!

Yeah, Mom and the McGees
are unstoppable!

[phone rings]

Pete, honey!
Great news. We just--

-[toilet flushing sound]
-What?

[Dad] Yeah, craziest thing.

We were just down here
cleaning, and only cleaning,

and suddenly, boom! So...

we're gonna need
a new hot water heater.

Hello? H-honey?

...And she hung up.

Though Mom can
never know the truth,

and though it'll cost us
hundreds of dollars to fix...

can you really put
a price on the bond

between a father
and his son?

No, son. No, you can't.

[screams]

[sighs] We fix one problem,
another one crops up.

I'm sorry, Mom.

Being a grown up
must be hard.

But I'm proud of you!

Sure there was hard work
and silly costumes,

and multiple sizes
of poop,

but you gave it your all
to make us some money!

And that's awesome!

Aww, look at you.

always finding
the silver lining.

You know, I liked
getting out there, too.

Trying jobs I'd never heard of.

I should keep
being a Gig-Pig!

Our family clearly
needs the cash.

-[oinking chime]
-Perfect timing!

Let's see the job.

"Help me."

[dogs barking]

Ahh!

-We should help him.
-Yeah.

♪ The Ghost and Molly McGee ♪

You know what I love most
about McGee Family Movie Night?

Recreating
the theater experience!

[phone rings]

Uh, Sir, I'm gonna have to
ask you to turn that off.

See? Movie magic.

And just like the movies,

I snuck in my own snacks!

Good news!

Scratch and I found
the scariest movie ever!

It has a ghost! And there's
nothing scarier than ghosts!

Especially when they chew
with their mouths open.

I'm gonna have
nightmares for weeks...

I can't wait! Hit play!

-Muah-ha-ha-ha!
-[woman screams]

-[snoring]
-That wasn't even scary!

Too many talking heads,
not enough severed heads!

Yeah, and those
ghost stereotypes?

Answer me this,
Molly, do I talk like
this all the time?

[scary voice]
Get out of the house!

-Sometimes you do.
-Eh, that's just for effect,
but--

We could probably make
a better movie ourselves.

[gasps]
That is a great idea!

Let's make a horror movie!

I mean, we've got a real ghost!

I'll do it!
And it'll be the performance

of an after-lifetime!

I will direct, obviously.

Libby can write the script.

And Darryl, you can film it
on your phone.

I didn't get the phone
with six cameras for no reason!

Let's make some movie magic!

Are we sure Libby's
not a ghost?

Because her script
is spooky accurate.

-Uh-huh. Put this on.
-Ugh. So degrading.

-Great work, Libby!
-Ahh!

Your script's great,
the set's even better.

Now, try on your costume.

But that's for Angela.

Yes, and who better to bring
Angela to life than you,

the writer who created her!
Right?

Also, you're the only
person available.

Oh, no, no, no.
Molly--

the very thought of
people watching me...

on screen... in HD...

makes me... [gags]

Ah, you'll be fine.

Molly, where do you
want the blood?

Okay, um... don't--don't
really need blood

in a ghost movie.

You know what?
I'll surprise you.

[sighs] Boo.

Who's playing the ghost?

Oh! Him?

That's... our
Canadian cousin Carl.

Yeah, I'm the ghost.

-Eh?
-He's visiting.

Okay, gather around, crew!
Gather around!

[clears throat]
We are here for one reason

and one reason only:

to make the scariest
ghost movie ever!

Sure, we're just kids
with a camera phone

and cardboard props,

but we've got something
Hollywood doesn't!

We've got...

to be home for dinner!
So let's get shooting!

[orchestral intro music]

Boo.

♪ The camera's rolling ♪

♪ And the lights are lit ♪

♪ That's as close to in focus
as they're gonna get ♪

♪ They're a non-union crew ♪

♪ They don't know what
They're doing ♪

♪ But they're gonna make
movie magic ♪

♪ They perform
Their own stunts ♪

Whoa! Oof!

♪ Unintended scene
With a skunk ♪

♪ He's Acting Skunk ♪

-♪ And emotions explored ♪
-[screams]

♪ And just two shots to go ♪

♪ When they realize till now
They've been on selfie-mode ♪

[cringes] My bad.

♪ If someone's fielding
A grounder ♪

♪ Then just shoot
Around her ♪

♪ There's no time to waste ♪

-Action!
-♪ Take after take ♪

Line?

♪ They're gonna make
Movie mag-- ♪

You're out!

No, seriously. We're trying to
play a game here.

Get out.

Making movies is hard.

I barely got to use
my fake blood!

Listen up, Fandreas:

Warm winds are
blowing this spring,

that's why I stay cool with--

Whoa!
Someone call the police!

There's a fashion crime
in progress.

[laughter]

We're making
a ghost movie, Andrea.

Shut up!

I love horror movies!

Totally unrelated,
did you know

that I'm a professional
actress? See?

Um, uh, we all know
where this is going, right?

♪ For the best in clothing
beauty and sports ♪

♪ Spend your money
at Davenport's! ♪

She wants to star
in our movie.

I just had a crazy thought.

Andrea Davenport...
in our movie?

-[gasps] Molly McGee!
You read my mind!
-Oof.

Meet at the store warehouse
tomorrow morning.

It's where we shoot
our commercials

so we've got all the sets
and equipment we need.

-What?
-We're gonna make
the best movie ever!

'Kay, love you! Bye!

[imitating Andrea]
I told you...

I don't want to say but,
you know,

I was kind of expecting
a little more...

Whoa!

Now this is the star treatment
I deserve!

I call this my floor-gasbord.

Okay, everybody, I--
It's all very impressive

but don't be distracted
by the razzle-dazzle.

Okay? We just gotta
focus on our goal and...

[gasps]

Sweet baby corn,
that chair has my name on it!

This is the most beautiful
thing I have ever seen.

Second is the Grand Canyon.

Third is a baby deer
learning to stand.

Are these tombstones real?

Ah! They don't even fall down!

Can you believe this, Libby?
Our vision is coming to life!

Yeah, so about that?

-Andrea had a few notes
on my script.
-Okay.

-"The lead character should be
more relatable..."
-Why not?

-"Aspirational"
-Sounds good.

"Beautiful, but not know
how beautiful she is..."

Is that... a thing?

Oh. "And also, her name
should be Andrea."

Okay...

But who cares what
the main character's called,

as long as the movie's great!

Plus, now you don't have
to be on camera!

Eh, that's true.

See? It all works out
for the best.

[bell rings]

Like a glove. Action!

About to shoot
my very first feature!

Thanks to all my followers
for believing in me.

This is for you, "Fandreas"!

Uh, Andrea, I said "Action."
You know?

[thunder crashes]

Maybe I shouldn't have
taken this shortcut

through the scary woods!

Cue the ghost!

-[inhales] Line?

-[Molly] Boo.
-Right. Boo!

Oh, no!

The hitchhiker's ghost
is coming to eat my soul!

Thank goodness I'm wearing

Swedish memory foam
running shoes!

Available now at Davenport's
Department store!

[Molly] Okay, that's a cut.

[bell rings]

Come on!
That was my best stuff!

That was great Andrea, um,

but how about we
stick to the script?

Sorry, I just knew
it was a natural spot

for product placement.

Okay, I hear you, but, um...

Maybe we-- we don't do
product placement?

I mean you're the director,

but it is how we're
paying for everything.

Oh.

Like this portable waffle-iron
for that on-the-go

breakfast-lover
hard-pressed for time!

I got one of those.

Ahh! How do you
work this thing?!

I got this. Gerard!

Gerard does
all our commercials.

He can work the camera
and he knows my good side.

Spoiler: it's both!

You're replacing me?
She can't do that!

Well, you can still do
the behind-the-scenes footage.

Can't wait to capture
how this all falls apart.

Oh, I know how
it hurts to fire family,

but like my daddy says,
it gets easier every time.

-What?
-What's important is
we do whatever it takes

-to realize my vision.
-You mean my vision.

Yeah, that's what I said.
My vision.

All right, Gerard,
I'm ready for my close-up!

Look, Andrea,
we need to talk about--

-One second. Libbs!
-Yeah, coming.

Um, did you read
my latest script?

I addressed all your notes.

And I super appreciate
you staying up all night,

but we decided to go in a bold,
new direction...

Ghost. Romance.
Gho-mance.

But that's not even scary!

I mean, do ghosts
have to be scary?

Why can't they be
cute and cuddly?

Because ghosts aren't cuddly!

They're sick and twisted
and sometimes a little gassy!

Especially after eating
all the craft services.

[farts]

-Molly, do something!
-Okay.

She's ruining our movie!

Andrea, the whole point
was to make a horror movie.

Yes! The horror comes
from the ghost spending

an eternity having
never found true love!

That's it. Let's see
how fast she can run
in those Swedish shoes!

Look, I know this isn't
the movie we set out to make,

but just think about
how much better it is

with all this fancy equipment!

You have sold us out
to corporate sponsors for what?

A chair with
your name on it?

Leave the chair out of this!

Things may have gotten
a little out of control,

but as long as
I'm the director,

it's still our movie!

Molly, I'd like you to meet
a family friend,

visionary director:
Greta Gerwig!

Hi. I'm Greta Gerwig.

With Greta Gerwig attached,
we'll have no problem

getting
international distribution!

My chair, my beautiful chair!

[bell rings]

Ah, like a glove...

Picture's up!
Cameras are rolling!

Ghosts are cuddly!
And action!

[soft music plays]

So, is this still "our movie"?

No, Scratch. It isn't...

In fact, I think it's time
to show Andrea

just how scary
ghosts can be.

Yes!

It's the role
I've been dying to play!

Gerard!

We're not doing
"scary" anymore.

[Scratch] Boo!

♪ No one makes my heart
Dance like you do ♪

♪ Nothing less than
A death do us part ♪

Ahh!

♪ Never have I
Ever felt such boo-whoo! ♪

♪ Boom ba da boom
ba da boom ♪

♪ Oh! ♪

[screams]

♪ We'll look into your eyes ♪

♪ I'm paralyzed ♪

♪ So don't you go ♪

♪ I need to
Don't you know ♪

-Outta my way, Greta Gerwig!
- [grunts]

My life's more important
than yours!

[clamoring]

♪ There goes my... ♪

[sighs] I'm sorry, guys.

Now we've got nothing
to show for movie night.

[chuckles]
We've got this...

[Angela screams]

I might have an idea...

[Molly] The Haunting of...
The Haunting of Brighton!

Gerard! We're not doing
scary anymore!

-[roars]
-Ahhh!

Ahhhh!

Wow! Carl really committed
to his performance!

You can't even see the wires!

Uh, wait...
There aren't any wires...

-Carl, how did you-
-Uh, look! Your name!

-It's in the credits!
[chuckles]
-Eeee!

I'm a real writer now!

[all sigh]

[farts]

♪ The Ghost and Molly McGee! ♪

[closing theme plays]