The Ghost and Molly McGee (2021–…): Season 1, Episode 2 - Howlin' Harriet/The (Un)natural - full transcript
SCRATCH: Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
-♪ I can't believe you're all mine ♪
- Uh, what?
-♪ You and me for all time ♪
- Ugh!
♪ I'm never, ever, ever ♪
-♪ Gonna be alone again ♪
- Oh, boy.
-♪ The dream team, you and me ♪
- For all eternity?
-♪ For all eternity! ♪
- Ahh!
♪ It's a ghost,
it's a ghost and Molly McGee ♪
♪ I've been cursed, it's the worst ♪
MOLLY: ♪ Now you're stuck with me ♪
BOTH: ♪ We're never gonna be apart ♪
-♪ Is there a way to hit restart? ♪
- Nope.
♪ We're the ghost, Ghost and Molly McGee ♪
- That's me!
- Well, that's she.
MOLLY AND SCRATCH:
♪ The Ghost and Molly McGee ♪
(military fanfare music)
Scratch, I need your help
with the most important question
of my life!
Who will be my best friend?
And don't be offended.
You'll always be my number one.
I'm cursed with you. We are not friends.
But I need a human bestie!
You know, for human stuff.
SCRATCH: Physically impossible
for me to care less.
So, I've narrowed it down
to three amazing candidates.
- MOLLY: Libby, Sheela, and Kat.
-(cat meows)
And, you know,
they're all so different on paper.
- But guess what they have in common.
- I don't care about any of them?
They're all Wilder Scouts!
And we're going camping tonight!
Four strong female trailblazers
in the wilderness.
This is how
you make lifelong friends, Scratch!
We'll probably sit together at lunch,
then be roommates in college,
run for political office
on a shared platform.
I mean, we're basically choosing
a future leader of our nation here!
Camping? No, not happening.
Besides, why are you so obsessed
with this friend thing anyway?
- I don't have a best friend and I'm--
- Scratch!
-(splats)
- Oh, my best friend of friends!
- You were saying?
- This guy? Ah, no, no.
Uh, he's not a friend.
He's more like an annoying coworker.
Hi. I'm Geoff.
- G-E-O-F-F.
- Nobody's spelling it, Geoff.
- Not to be confused with Jeff.
- Ahh!
- J-E-F-F.
- No one's writing this down.
- What are you even doing here?
- Well, you promised we'd hang! Today!
The second Saturday after "Never".
Seems doctored.
Okay, whatever. Listen,
I gotta rescheduled anyway,
'cause I got a lotta balls
in the air right now.
Scratch! That's no way
to treat your best friend.
Geoff, come camping with us.
We're gonna roast marshmallows,
learn about nature, tell scary stories.
Ooh! What kind of scary
we're talking about here?
Uh, so scary!
'Cause we got bugs,
fire, wolves, bears and...
- Keep talking.
- Pit toilets!
Hm... I could really pad
this month's scare report.
Oh, wow, that sounds like fun!
You're not invited.
Right.
(winks)
Ugh, could be a long weekend.
(military fanfare music)
-(tweeting)
-(thuds)
All right, ladies.
Go get your camping badge
or whatever we're doin' here.
So, does, uh, anyone know anything
about setting up a campsite?
Or maybe, uh, lifelong friendship? Or...
(straining)
Not me. I'm, I'm only here
because my mom said exposure to fresh air,
and other kids my age would help me.
-(gulps, coughs)
-(gasps)
LIBBY: I'm good.
The key to a cozy campfire is location.
I think we should set camp... here.
(claps)
We're losing daylight!
SHEELA: Kat, you find the flint.
Molly, you gather firewood.
- And Libby...
-(yells, thuds)
Stay upright.
(Scratch chewing)
Scratch! You can't eat those berries,
they're poisonous!
You know I'm already dead, right?
- Oh. Right.
- So how's the friend hunt going?
Not bad! These score cards have everything
I'm looking for in a best friend.
MOLLY: Creativity, smarts, generosity,
a deep passion for fuzzy socks, leadership
and, most importantly... the X-factor.
Wow! That is pretty...
Oh, you know what, I don't care.
(smooches)
I totally won't be scaring you guys later,
so don't suspect anything, okay? Bye.
Wait! Don't you wanna know
what the X-factor is?
- SCRATCH: Nope.
- Well, it's indescribable anyway!
CHORUS: ♪ Who's got the goods? ♪
MOLLY: ♪ Do you have
what it takes to lead us? ♪
CHORUS: ♪ Who's got the goods? ♪
MOLLY: ♪ Do you have passion
in your heart? ♪
CHORUS: ♪ Who's got the goods? ♪
MOLLY: ♪ Can you parkour
across the forest? ♪
-♪ We need a hero in the woods ♪
- CHORUS ♪ Tell me who's got the goods ♪
(screams)
Oh, no!
CHORUS: ♪ Who's got the kindness ♪
MOLLY: ♪ To care for other creatures? ♪
-(Libby yells)
- CHORUS: ♪ Who's smart enough ♪
MOLLY: ♪ To pack a trail mix
with no nuts? ♪
CHORUS: ♪ Peanut allergies ♪
MOLLY: ♪ Who can outrun an angry possum
that I accidentally woke ♪
♪ With a poke ♪
Go! Go!
- MOLLY: Intelligence!
- CHORUS: ♪ Who's got it? ♪
- MOLLY: Positivity!
- CHORUS: ♪ Who's got it? ♪
- MOLLY: Gets my jokes!
- CHORUS: ♪ Who's got it? ♪
- MOLLY: Good hygiene!
- CHORUS ♪ Who's got it? ♪
MOLLY: ♪ Not afraid to tell me
if there's chocolate on my cheek ♪
- CHORUS: ♪ Who's got the goods? ♪
-(Libby groans)
(crickets chirping)
(owl hoots)
Ah, I'll just wait for a little
moody mis en scene,
and then, when the scares are ripe
for the picking,
- I'll...
- Boo!
Geoff! What are you doing here?
-(laughs)
- I was very clear
that you were not invited.
I read between the lines, best friend.
(winks)
(grunts)
No. No, don't wink!
We are not friends!
Exactly.
(winks)
Stop! We. Are. Not. Friends.
So stop winking!
(groans)
- Wink!
- Ah!
(sighs)
Fine. You can hang.
But do not get in my way, okay?
Hey, quick question,
is any one interested in sharing stories
that, I don't know,
highlight their best qualities?
LIBBY (ominous voice): A story?
I've got a story.
Okay. Uh, let's hear it, Libby.
This is the haunting tale
of Howlin' Harriet.
Many, many years ago,
there was a bloodthirsty criminal
named Harriet.
SHEELA: What was her crime?
LIBBY: She sold uncured salami
on a Wednesday.
- Uh... what?
- Laws were different back then.
- Oh...
-(Libby) Harriet was chased out of town
by the angry citizens of Brighton.
As she was running,
she tripped on the tracks
-and fell in the way of an oncoming train!
-(train rattles)
-(train honks)
- LIBBY: Blam!
And all the folk of Brighton found
were her mangled toes.
And now, on nights like tonight,
when the moon is full,
her ghost roams these very woods,
howling in pain,
looking for toes of unsuspecting campers
to replace the ones she lost!
-(howls)
-(Sheela and Kat scream)
Pretty good!
I was kind of hoping for a happy ending
where Harriet befriended lonely campers.
You know, flip the script on ghosts
or whatever. But scary's good, too.
(stamps)
Scratch!
Let go of me!
What if you dress up as Howlin' Harriet
to scare the campers?
Yeah, you know what,
that's great thinking.
Whoa! Wait a minute. Lightbulb.
Why don't you go away
and dress up like Howlin' Harriet?
And then run in if I need you.
I'll give you a special buddy signal.
A mission! Okay!
Stay calm, stay calm, stay calm,
Geoff... with a G.
Okay! I won't let you down, Scratch!
(screams)
Oh, man. That is a Grade-A buffoon,
I'll tell you what.
Dressing up as Harriet's
not gonna scare anybody.
What kind of idiot would believe
she's real anyway?
Oh, I'm tickling myself.
(chuckles)
(ominous music)
-(growls)
-(fire crackling)
Make sure to keep your toes
in your sleeping bags!
Wouldn't want Howlin' Harriet to get them!
Think these socks are thick enough
to protect me from Howlin' Harriet?
Ghosts aren't real.
Just a product
of an overactive imagination.
(zipper zips, thuds)
(laughs)
Yeah, ghosts. Totally not real.
Who'd believe that? Not me.
(forcing laugh)
Oh, we, we do laugh.
(smooches)
Ah, yes. I feel a scare in the air.
-(howling)
- Geoff? I didn't give a signal.
(both gasp)
(both yelp)
(growls, roars)
(Kat gasps)
Howlin' Harriet! She's real!
And she's coming for our toes!
(growls)
Scratch, I told you,
you can't scare me off.
Well, I might've been able to
if someone hadn't stolen my scare!
I'm looking at you, Geoff!
And what is this?
What's with all the sticks?
It's a bit too much, Geoff.
Aw, really, Scratch? I don't know.
I mean, I think my detail work
really helps sell the illusion.
But if you're... then this is...
(breathily scrambles)
Haaah...
- Harriet!
-(rustles)
The real Harriet?
-(howls)
-(Geoff screams)
Scratch! How do we get rid of her?
(Molly gasps)
What if we give her the thing
she's been looking for?
I like it! Whose toes are we taking?
The pink headed girl, right?
You and Geoff keep her
away from the campers.
Especially the pink headed one.
I'll get us some toes!
- I need your help!
-(girls whimper, gasp)
I need to craft some toes!
Every woman for herself!
(all scream)
Did you say help? And crafting? I'm in.
-♪ Have you heard the news? ♪
- Hey, Harriet! Over here!
♪ Pa, pa, pa ♪
♪ Dangers on foot
and if I were in your shoes ♪
♪ Pa-pa, pa-pa ♪
-♪ I know which piggy I would choose ♪
- VOCAL: All of them!
♪ I'd go wee-wee-wee all the way home ♪
-♪ I'm looking for toes ♪
- CHORUS: ♪ Toe-toe-toes ♪
♪ Long, skinny, fat or short ♪
♪ Pretty much anything goes ♪
CHORUS: ♪ Toe-toe-toes ♪
♪ Even if they're kind of smelly ♪
♪ I can just hold my nose ♪
CHORUS: ♪ Toe-toe-toe-toes ♪
♪ When they get chopped off ♪
♪ Unfortunately they don't regrow ♪
♪ So I need toes ♪
-♪ I'm looking for toes ♪
- LIBBY: Molly, check it out!
(gasps)
They're so real!
LIBBY: I used my foot for reference.
(action music)
(swooshes)
Toes!
Pretty toes!
(enchanting music)
(birds chirping)
Okay. Sun's up, let's go.
Wow, I was so scared last night.
Yeah, I can't believe we talked ourselves
into believing Howlin' Harriet was real.
Sure seemed real though, huh?
Kinda wish it was.
You know, between you and Geoff,
I can't get a minute to myself!
So, I sincerely hope you found
a human bestie, so I can have a break.
No one can replace you, Scratch,
as my number one bestie.
But I think I found a winner!
I just gotta hope
she wants to be my friend, too.
(inhales)
Molly, wanna be my best friend?
Whaaa?
- I understand if the answer's no.
-(gasps)
I'm not really for everyone.
I'm kind of an acquired...
(laughs)
Bestie!
(engine revs)
Well, as long as no one
tells the Ghost Council
about Howlin' Harriet,
I'd say our scare reports could be
pretty good this month, huh, buddy?
You called me "buddy"!
What? No. That was...
- No, I didn't mean it!
- Oh. Yeah, I didn't mean it either...
bestie.
(winks)
Stop winking.
MOLLY AND SCRATCH:
♪ The Ghost and Molly McGee ♪
-♪ I can't believe you're all mine ♪
- Uh, what?
-♪ You and me for all time ♪
- Ugh!
♪ I'm never, ever, ever ♪
-♪ Gonna be alone again ♪
- Oh, boy.
-♪ The dream team, you and me ♪
- For all eternity?
-♪ For all eternity! ♪
- Ahh!
♪ It's a ghost,
it's a ghost and Molly McGee ♪
♪ I've been cursed, it's the worst ♪
MOLLY: ♪ Now you're stuck with me ♪
BOTH: ♪ We're never gonna be apart ♪
-♪ Is there a way to hit restart? ♪
- Nope.
♪ We're the ghost, Ghost and Molly McGee ♪
- That's me!
- Well, that's she.
MOLLY AND SCRATCH:
♪ The Ghost and Molly McGee ♪
(military fanfare music)
Scratch, I need your help
with the most important question
of my life!
Who will be my best friend?
And don't be offended.
You'll always be my number one.
I'm cursed with you. We are not friends.
But I need a human bestie!
You know, for human stuff.
SCRATCH: Physically impossible
for me to care less.
So, I've narrowed it down
to three amazing candidates.
- MOLLY: Libby, Sheela, and Kat.
-(cat meows)
And, you know,
they're all so different on paper.
- But guess what they have in common.
- I don't care about any of them?
They're all Wilder Scouts!
And we're going camping tonight!
Four strong female trailblazers
in the wilderness.
This is how
you make lifelong friends, Scratch!
We'll probably sit together at lunch,
then be roommates in college,
run for political office
on a shared platform.
I mean, we're basically choosing
a future leader of our nation here!
Camping? No, not happening.
Besides, why are you so obsessed
with this friend thing anyway?
- I don't have a best friend and I'm--
- Scratch!
-(splats)
- Oh, my best friend of friends!
- You were saying?
- This guy? Ah, no, no.
Uh, he's not a friend.
He's more like an annoying coworker.
Hi. I'm Geoff.
- G-E-O-F-F.
- Nobody's spelling it, Geoff.
- Not to be confused with Jeff.
- Ahh!
- J-E-F-F.
- No one's writing this down.
- What are you even doing here?
- Well, you promised we'd hang! Today!
The second Saturday after "Never".
Seems doctored.
Okay, whatever. Listen,
I gotta rescheduled anyway,
'cause I got a lotta balls
in the air right now.
Scratch! That's no way
to treat your best friend.
Geoff, come camping with us.
We're gonna roast marshmallows,
learn about nature, tell scary stories.
Ooh! What kind of scary
we're talking about here?
Uh, so scary!
'Cause we got bugs,
fire, wolves, bears and...
- Keep talking.
- Pit toilets!
Hm... I could really pad
this month's scare report.
Oh, wow, that sounds like fun!
You're not invited.
Right.
(winks)
Ugh, could be a long weekend.
(military fanfare music)
-(tweeting)
-(thuds)
All right, ladies.
Go get your camping badge
or whatever we're doin' here.
So, does, uh, anyone know anything
about setting up a campsite?
Or maybe, uh, lifelong friendship? Or...
(straining)
Not me. I'm, I'm only here
because my mom said exposure to fresh air,
and other kids my age would help me.
-(gulps, coughs)
-(gasps)
LIBBY: I'm good.
The key to a cozy campfire is location.
I think we should set camp... here.
(claps)
We're losing daylight!
SHEELA: Kat, you find the flint.
Molly, you gather firewood.
- And Libby...
-(yells, thuds)
Stay upright.
(Scratch chewing)
Scratch! You can't eat those berries,
they're poisonous!
You know I'm already dead, right?
- Oh. Right.
- So how's the friend hunt going?
Not bad! These score cards have everything
I'm looking for in a best friend.
MOLLY: Creativity, smarts, generosity,
a deep passion for fuzzy socks, leadership
and, most importantly... the X-factor.
Wow! That is pretty...
Oh, you know what, I don't care.
(smooches)
I totally won't be scaring you guys later,
so don't suspect anything, okay? Bye.
Wait! Don't you wanna know
what the X-factor is?
- SCRATCH: Nope.
- Well, it's indescribable anyway!
CHORUS: ♪ Who's got the goods? ♪
MOLLY: ♪ Do you have
what it takes to lead us? ♪
CHORUS: ♪ Who's got the goods? ♪
MOLLY: ♪ Do you have passion
in your heart? ♪
CHORUS: ♪ Who's got the goods? ♪
MOLLY: ♪ Can you parkour
across the forest? ♪
-♪ We need a hero in the woods ♪
- CHORUS ♪ Tell me who's got the goods ♪
(screams)
Oh, no!
CHORUS: ♪ Who's got the kindness ♪
MOLLY: ♪ To care for other creatures? ♪
-(Libby yells)
- CHORUS: ♪ Who's smart enough ♪
MOLLY: ♪ To pack a trail mix
with no nuts? ♪
CHORUS: ♪ Peanut allergies ♪
MOLLY: ♪ Who can outrun an angry possum
that I accidentally woke ♪
♪ With a poke ♪
Go! Go!
- MOLLY: Intelligence!
- CHORUS: ♪ Who's got it? ♪
- MOLLY: Positivity!
- CHORUS: ♪ Who's got it? ♪
- MOLLY: Gets my jokes!
- CHORUS: ♪ Who's got it? ♪
- MOLLY: Good hygiene!
- CHORUS ♪ Who's got it? ♪
MOLLY: ♪ Not afraid to tell me
if there's chocolate on my cheek ♪
- CHORUS: ♪ Who's got the goods? ♪
-(Libby groans)
(crickets chirping)
(owl hoots)
Ah, I'll just wait for a little
moody mis en scene,
and then, when the scares are ripe
for the picking,
- I'll...
- Boo!
Geoff! What are you doing here?
-(laughs)
- I was very clear
that you were not invited.
I read between the lines, best friend.
(winks)
(grunts)
No. No, don't wink!
We are not friends!
Exactly.
(winks)
Stop! We. Are. Not. Friends.
So stop winking!
(groans)
- Wink!
- Ah!
(sighs)
Fine. You can hang.
But do not get in my way, okay?
Hey, quick question,
is any one interested in sharing stories
that, I don't know,
highlight their best qualities?
LIBBY (ominous voice): A story?
I've got a story.
Okay. Uh, let's hear it, Libby.
This is the haunting tale
of Howlin' Harriet.
Many, many years ago,
there was a bloodthirsty criminal
named Harriet.
SHEELA: What was her crime?
LIBBY: She sold uncured salami
on a Wednesday.
- Uh... what?
- Laws were different back then.
- Oh...
-(Libby) Harriet was chased out of town
by the angry citizens of Brighton.
As she was running,
she tripped on the tracks
-and fell in the way of an oncoming train!
-(train rattles)
-(train honks)
- LIBBY: Blam!
And all the folk of Brighton found
were her mangled toes.
And now, on nights like tonight,
when the moon is full,
her ghost roams these very woods,
howling in pain,
looking for toes of unsuspecting campers
to replace the ones she lost!
-(howls)
-(Sheela and Kat scream)
Pretty good!
I was kind of hoping for a happy ending
where Harriet befriended lonely campers.
You know, flip the script on ghosts
or whatever. But scary's good, too.
(stamps)
Scratch!
Let go of me!
What if you dress up as Howlin' Harriet
to scare the campers?
Yeah, you know what,
that's great thinking.
Whoa! Wait a minute. Lightbulb.
Why don't you go away
and dress up like Howlin' Harriet?
And then run in if I need you.
I'll give you a special buddy signal.
A mission! Okay!
Stay calm, stay calm, stay calm,
Geoff... with a G.
Okay! I won't let you down, Scratch!
(screams)
Oh, man. That is a Grade-A buffoon,
I'll tell you what.
Dressing up as Harriet's
not gonna scare anybody.
What kind of idiot would believe
she's real anyway?
Oh, I'm tickling myself.
(chuckles)
(ominous music)
-(growls)
-(fire crackling)
Make sure to keep your toes
in your sleeping bags!
Wouldn't want Howlin' Harriet to get them!
Think these socks are thick enough
to protect me from Howlin' Harriet?
Ghosts aren't real.
Just a product
of an overactive imagination.
(zipper zips, thuds)
(laughs)
Yeah, ghosts. Totally not real.
Who'd believe that? Not me.
(forcing laugh)
Oh, we, we do laugh.
(smooches)
Ah, yes. I feel a scare in the air.
-(howling)
- Geoff? I didn't give a signal.
(both gasp)
(both yelp)
(growls, roars)
(Kat gasps)
Howlin' Harriet! She's real!
And she's coming for our toes!
(growls)
Scratch, I told you,
you can't scare me off.
Well, I might've been able to
if someone hadn't stolen my scare!
I'm looking at you, Geoff!
And what is this?
What's with all the sticks?
It's a bit too much, Geoff.
Aw, really, Scratch? I don't know.
I mean, I think my detail work
really helps sell the illusion.
But if you're... then this is...
(breathily scrambles)
Haaah...
- Harriet!
-(rustles)
The real Harriet?
-(howls)
-(Geoff screams)
Scratch! How do we get rid of her?
(Molly gasps)
What if we give her the thing
she's been looking for?
I like it! Whose toes are we taking?
The pink headed girl, right?
You and Geoff keep her
away from the campers.
Especially the pink headed one.
I'll get us some toes!
- I need your help!
-(girls whimper, gasp)
I need to craft some toes!
Every woman for herself!
(all scream)
Did you say help? And crafting? I'm in.
-♪ Have you heard the news? ♪
- Hey, Harriet! Over here!
♪ Pa, pa, pa ♪
♪ Dangers on foot
and if I were in your shoes ♪
♪ Pa-pa, pa-pa ♪
-♪ I know which piggy I would choose ♪
- VOCAL: All of them!
♪ I'd go wee-wee-wee all the way home ♪
-♪ I'm looking for toes ♪
- CHORUS: ♪ Toe-toe-toes ♪
♪ Long, skinny, fat or short ♪
♪ Pretty much anything goes ♪
CHORUS: ♪ Toe-toe-toes ♪
♪ Even if they're kind of smelly ♪
♪ I can just hold my nose ♪
CHORUS: ♪ Toe-toe-toe-toes ♪
♪ When they get chopped off ♪
♪ Unfortunately they don't regrow ♪
♪ So I need toes ♪
-♪ I'm looking for toes ♪
- LIBBY: Molly, check it out!
(gasps)
They're so real!
LIBBY: I used my foot for reference.
(action music)
(swooshes)
Toes!
Pretty toes!
(enchanting music)
(birds chirping)
Okay. Sun's up, let's go.
Wow, I was so scared last night.
Yeah, I can't believe we talked ourselves
into believing Howlin' Harriet was real.
Sure seemed real though, huh?
Kinda wish it was.
You know, between you and Geoff,
I can't get a minute to myself!
So, I sincerely hope you found
a human bestie, so I can have a break.
No one can replace you, Scratch,
as my number one bestie.
But I think I found a winner!
I just gotta hope
she wants to be my friend, too.
(inhales)
Molly, wanna be my best friend?
Whaaa?
- I understand if the answer's no.
-(gasps)
I'm not really for everyone.
I'm kind of an acquired...
(laughs)
Bestie!
(engine revs)
Well, as long as no one
tells the Ghost Council
about Howlin' Harriet,
I'd say our scare reports could be
pretty good this month, huh, buddy?
You called me "buddy"!
What? No. That was...
- No, I didn't mean it!
- Oh. Yeah, I didn't mean it either...
bestie.
(winks)
Stop winking.
MOLLY AND SCRATCH:
♪ The Ghost and Molly McGee ♪