The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (1990–1996): Season 5, Episode 8 - Soooooooul Train - full transcript

So this is what you want,
huh?
You want some of me..

Ahh! Ah! Hua!

[growling]

Twenty-eighteen.
One more point and I win.

- It's not over yet, pal.
- Well, basically it is.

I'm gonna just
sink this last shot

for this final nail
in your coffin.

Always so cock sure of yourself,
aren't you?

Always the big winner.

Well, you may think
you're better than me

but I've got something
you don't. Tenacity.



And if you think I'm gonna stand
here and let you win this game

then you've got
another thing coming.

Twenty one-eighteen, I win.

- Hey, you wanna play again?
- Same rules as last game?

Yeah, sure.
Zero-eighteen.

[theme song]

♪ Now this is a story ♪

♪ All about how my life
got flipped ♪

♪ Turned upside-down ♪

♪ And I'd like to take a minute
just sit right there ♪

♪ I'll tell you
how I became the prince ♪

♪ Of a town called Bel-Air ♪

♪ In West Philadelphia,
born and raised ♪

♪ On the playground is where
I spent most of my days ♪



♪ Chillin' out, maxin'
relaxing all cool ♪

♪ And all shootin' some b-ball
outside of the school ♪

♪ When a couple of guys
who were up to no good ♪

♪ Started makin' trouble
in my neighborhood ♪

♪ I got in one little fight
and my mom got scared ♪

♪ And said you're moving
with your auntie ♪

♪ And uncle in Bel-Air ♪

♪ I whistled for a cab
and when it came near ♪

♪ The license plate said fresh
and it had dice in the mirror ♪

♪ If anything I can say
that this cab was rare ♪

♪ But I thought
nah forget it ♪

♪ Yo homes to Bel-Air ♪

♪ I pulled up to a house
about seven or eight ♪

♪ And I yelled
to the cabbie ♪

♪ Yo homes smell you later ♪

♪ I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there ♪

♪ To sit on my throne
as the prince of Bel-Air ♪♪

[instrumental music]

Any big plans tonight,
Carlton?

- I have a date.
- With whom?

Same lady I see
every Saturday night.

Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.

Ashley, what do you say
to the two of us girls

going out tonight?

Gee, Hilary, I'd love to,
but I have a date.

Well, you can come along
if you like.

Well, I don't wanna tag
along or anything--

I understand.

Look, I had a great time
too,
Lola.

Hey, thanks for paying,
baby.

I can't stand this.
Everyone has a date except me.

What's the problem, Hil?
I mean, come on.

You're pretty, you're fun,
you're intelli.. Vision.

Well, that's exactly
the problem.

I'm a celebrity
and men are intimidated by
me.

I'm a beautiful woman
trapped in

an even more
beautiful woman's body.

I Just got back
from dropping Nicky off

at his first sleepover party.

I met some of the parents,
I couldn't believe it.

Most of them are only few years
older than you kids.

Didn't none of them kids look
like me, did they, Uncle Phil?

I was just checking, man,
just checking.

Everybody,
you've gotta come see this.

Phil, the package
came from "Soul Train."

- Really?
- Wait till you see this, guys.

This isn't gonna take long,
is it? I have a date.

We know.

- Go ahead, mom. Put it on.
- Okay.

- Vivian, please, do we have to?
- Shh.

[applauding]

Okay. Welcome back.

Right now we're gonna play

the "Soul Train"
Scramble game.

Let's meet
today's couple. You are?

- Vivian Smith, Scorpio.
- Oh, Philip Banks. Solid.

[Philip chuckles]

Alright, you know the rules.

If you can unscramble
our mystery artist

you win a lifetime supply
of Afro Sheen. Okay?

- Uh-huh. Oh, yeah.
- Ready? Go.

[instrumental music]

[applauding]

I'm sorry, Phil,
but that's wrong.

The answer is James Brown.

No, my man, it's not wrong.

You see, foxy mama..

...ever since I met you,
I knew that the deal we had

was righteous.

And I know
out of all the cats out there

I'm not the downest.

It's just that..

...I want our gigs
to groove together forever.

- Do you dig it?
- You're my main man.

[applauding]

Now, that's true love.

Let's send them on their way
with Marvin and Tammi

and "You're All I Need."

♪ You're all I need ♪

♪ To get by ♪♪

So, Uncle Phil, you proposed
on "Soul Train" huh?

Where you all get married
at,
"The Flip Wilson Show?"

I think it's so romantic.

"Soul Train's" having
a 25-year reunion

and we've been named as one of
the ten most memorable couples.

- Well, isn't that great?
- The whole family's invited.

Alright.

Hey, let me tell y'all

when I was growing up in Philly

"Soul Train" was the bomb.

Hey, I still got
my miniature Don Cornelius

with the lifelike voice.

"You can bet your last money

"it's gonna be a stone gas,
honey.

And until next time,
love, peace and--"

Soul!

[laughing]

You played with a doll?

Ain't, ain't no doll, man,
it's a action figure.

Afro pick sold separately.

Hey. Hey, Uncle Phil, man.

You was like a real cool, hip,
handsome dude back then, man.

What happened?

Man.

No slap in the head or nothing.

I'm scared.

Carlton, what's wrong, man?

Are you having
a Maalox moment?

I'm practicing for "Soul Train."

I understand
there's some dancing involved.

Two things, Carlton.

One, that's not dancing.

And two,
I would appreciate it

if you stayed away
from the show.

And why, pray tell, is that?

Again, two things, Carlton.

One, because you say
stuff like "Pray tell."

And, two, you're gonna
mess up my chances

of being the new co-host.

You're going to be
the new co-host?

Gee, I guess they forgot to
fax me that press release.

Well, let me break it down
for you, Teeny Petito.

Now, "Soul Train" has been
looking for a new co-host.

And so far,
nobody's worked out.

And they're going to give you
the co-host job based on
what?

Your love of
Don Cornelius dolls?

It's not a doll, man,
it's an action figure.

And you got no business even
being on the Soul Hyundai

let alone the "Soul Train."

So stay away from the show, man,
so you don't embarrass me.

Me? You're the
embarrassment,
you urban urchin.

Look, I-I know you don't
think

I'm good enough for
"Soul Train."

But when I get there, I'm gonna
dance circles around you.

Carlton Banks,
soul brother number one.

- Philip.
- Hmm?

Look, honey. It still fits.

Yes, but can you breathe?

It may have shrunk a little.

Sweetheart, I think
the suit's the same size.

I said it must have
shrunk a little.

Yes, well, look, we can't go
to "Soul Train" anyway.

I-I checked my schedule,
and that's the same night

as the Bar Association's
chili cook-off.

So?

Well, Vivian,
you know I'm up for election.

And I wanna keep
my seat on the bench

I have to make appearances.

Plus, it's damn good chili.

Philip, this evening
is very special to me

and it should be to you too.

It is special to me, but I have
a conflict that evening.

You got a conflict tonight too.

See you're working your magic
again, huh, Uncle Phil?

Oh, she is being
completely unreasonable.

I can't go to "Soul Train"

because I have a more important
commitment.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, cowboy.

What could be more important
than "Soul Train?"

A chili cook-off.

Well, well, it-it's a major
political event.

Ah, uh, besides, my feet
hurt

and-and, well, I'm afraid

my head will look shiny
on camera.

You know what, Uncle Phil?

I know
what your problem is, man.

You know what?
Don't even worry about it.

I got you covered.

Now get your head in there.

[instrumental music]

Yeah, now pick up your feet.
Put it all together.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Sookie, sookie,
sookie, sookie sue.

- Yeah.
- Oh, you got it, Uncle Phil.

There you go,
there you go.

- What is this?
- Oh.

Uncle Phil was feeling a little
gun-shy about his grooves.

I got my man Lamont to come over
give him some dance lessons.

That's right, Philly Gilly.

Now, lesson number two is

shake your groove thing.

If that's a groove,
the Grand Canyon's a ditch.

That's it.

Hey, hey.
Hey, hey.

Come on, Philly Gilly,
don't be--

- That's it.
- Uncle Phil, Lamont--

Look, Will, I'm not gonna have
some

platformed freak make
a fool out of me.

Whoa, you're talking
about one of

the original Solid Gold Dancers.

I danced at
Sam Cooke's funeral.

You're gonna be dancing
at your own funeral

if you don't get out
of my house.

Overgrown Isaac
Hayes-looking
fool.

Philip, that was so rude.

I'm gonna go apologize
to the man.

Alright, alright.

Come on, Uncle Phil,
what's bothering you?

Right now, you are.

Hey, hey, hey.

Come on, man,
let me have it.

What's the problem?

Will, do you know what I'd do
if I even thought for one second

that you were anywhere
near my problem?

No, what?

I'd build a fence
to keep you away.

One with barbed wire and
maybe
a sniper up on the roof

to pick you off just in case
you got over the fence.

And given the slightest
chance
that he'd miss

there'd be two rottweilers
guarding my problem.

You don't want my help,
do you?

- I'll go.
- Okay.

Philip, what is the matter
with you?

Vivian, it's this
"Soul Train" business.

I feel like a dinosaur

that somebody wants to
put on display.

Don't you realize how
special
this night is to me?

[sighs]

Alright, fine, I'll go.

Philip, don't do me
any favors.

I'm not doing you any favors.
I want to go, okay?

No, you don't.
And you know what?

I think I might
just rather go by myself.

Vivian. Vivian.

(Will)
'Welcome to the "Soul Train"
25th Anniversary Special.'

I'm Don Cornelius.

And before we get started,
I'd just like to say..

Get that damn flashlight
out of my face!

You kill me, Don.

Are you still playing
with that doll?

Action figure, action figure.
Is that so hard to understand?

Look, forget your stupid
doll.

Action figure.

I'm worried about my parents.

I've been listening outside
their bedroom.

Carlton,
he's not hurting her.

No, I mean,
they've been arguing all night.

Carlton, come on, man.
Look, they're a married couple.

I mean, arguing is what
married's being all about.

I mean, I'm sure whatever their
problem is, they'll work it out.

[door slams]

I hope.

[instrumental music]

Geoffrey.

If you weren't my butler
and had a decent job

would you ask me out
or would you be too intimidated?

Geoffrey.

Sorry, I got caught up
in the fantasy.

About me?

No, about that decent job.

Tell me, do I have a desk?

Hilary, sit down.

I want you to take this test
on your dateability.

Please, Ashley,
like some little quiz

in "Seventeen" magazine
has anything to do with my life.

Come on, Hilary,
it's just for fun.

- Okay, okay.
- Alright. Question one.

You're on a date and the guy
tries to kiss you

what do you do?

I don't have a date.
Must you throw that in my face?

Will, what's wrong?

Um, Uncle Phil's staying with us
in the pool house.

Oh, I know it's upsetting, honey

but we'll work things out.

Oh, no, he was clipping
his toenails

I took one in the eye.

I was thinking about going
to "Soul Train" by myself.

Would you be
my dance partner?

Ooh. Uh, Aunt Viv, you know,
I-I'd love to take you.

You know,
but this is "Soul Train."

I got to get my mack on,
you know.

Which is kind of
difficult to do

when you go there
with somebody old.

Oh, I mean, I mean, I mean

I mean, I mean that's kid talk,
Aunt Viv.

You know how kids talk.
You know, bad means good.

And-and stupid means great.

And-and old means beautiful.

You are so old.

You are the oldest person
I ever seen.

- We leave at 8:00.
- I will be ready.

[instrumental music]

[applauding]

Welcome to the "Soul Train"
25th Anniversary Special.

And now here's a little
something to kick us off.

♪ I'll be your answer
I'll be your wish ♪

♪ I'll be your fantasy
your favorite dish ♪

♪ From the back to the middle
and around again ♪

♪ I'm gonna be there
till the end ♪

♪ One hundred percent
pure love ♪

♪ From the back to the middle
and around again ♪

♪ I'm gonna be there
till the end ♪

♪ One hundred percent
pure love ♪

♪ You saw a brand-new high
thought that you could fly ♪

♪ Did I hear you cry
or did you like the ride ♪

Will, I thought
you were with me.

Aunt Viv. Go on.

♪ I'll show you how to win ♪

Is that your aunt?

Oh, yeah,
but we see other people.

What a freak.

♪ So don't you fight ♪

♪ I'll be your answer
I'll be your wish ♪♪

Geoffrey?

Please, Ms. Ashley,
don't give me away.

[applauding]

And now, before I introduce
our next hot single

say hello
to my man Bootsy Collins.

[applauding]

And now,
here's an oldie but a goody.

[instrumental music]

Hey, Aunt Viv,
how about that dance now?

No, you go do your thing, Will.
I'm leaving.

Oh, wait, wait, hey, hey.

Come on, Aunt Viv.
Let's hit the floor.

I'm going. It's not the same
without Philip.

You kids have fun.

Aunt Viv.

I believe I owe you a dance.

And let's reach all the way back
to a personal favorite.

Here's Marvin and Tammi's
"You're All I Need."

♪ You're all I need ♪

♪ To get by ♪♪

You know, Vivian?

From the night I first met
you

I knew that the deal we had
was righteous.

Now, I may not be
the downest cat out here.

I just want our lives
to groove together forever.

You are still my main man.

You know, sweetheart

when we first danced
together
on "Soul Train"

we had our whole lives
to look forward to.

I guess it's a lot easier
to look ahead

than it is to look back.

But as long as I'm with you,
there is only now.

Isn't it romantic?

Don't touch me.

Alright, now all aboard,
you guys

for the "Soul Train" Line.

[crowd cheering]

♪ Flashlight
flashlight ♪

♪ Red light ♪

♪ Flashlight ♪

[chanting]
Go, Bootsy! Go, Bootsy!
Go, Bootsy!

♪ Stop light ♪

♪ Neon light ♪

♪ Ooh neon light ♪

♪ Flashlight
flashlight ♪

♪ Flashlight ♪

♪ It's a groove thang
a groove thang ♪

♪ We're moving on
keeping strong ♪

♪ Don't you let them
steer you wrong ♪

♪ It's a groove thang ♪

♪ We're gonna give you
what you want ♪

♪ Just as long as
you're around ♪

♪ It's a groove thang ♪

♪ We're moving on
keeping strong ♪

♪ Don't you let them
steer you wrong ♪

♪ It's a groove thang ♪♪

[crowd cheering]

[instrumental music]

(female #1)
'Go.'

[cheering]

[cheering]

Hey, that's just about all,
y'all.

Thank you for joining us
for the "Soul Train"

25th Anniversary Celebration.

I'm Don Cornelius, and as always
in parting, we wish you..

(all)
Love, peace and soul!

[instrumental music]

(Will)
Y'all stay tuned
for more "Fresh Prince."

[theme song]

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪♪