The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (1990–1996): Season 1, Episode 5 - Homeboy, Sweet Homeboy - full transcript

Geoffrey, have you seen Will?

Maste William
sits in his room

sadly staring out of
the window, madam

quiet as a church mouse.

Hasn't spoken a word for hours.
What a shame.

- Oh, poor homesick baby.
- I have an idea, Vivian.

If Will is that homesick,
let's send him home.

All he's been talking about
is Philadelphia.

I hope these Philadelphia
cheese steaks cheer him up.

Personally, Vivian, I don't know
what you and Will see

in those vile concoctions.



Which is why you only ate
five of them?

Oh, Will,
we know you're homesick

so we got you something
to cheer you up.

Oh, wow.
Thanks.

Oh, thanks a lot.

What is it?

It's a sandwich
composed of cheese, steak

and a croissant de boulanger

from the Café Antoinette
in Beverly Hills.

It's a Philadelphia cheese
steak, Will.

Nice try, Uncle Phil
but this is not

a Philadelphia cheese steak.

See, look at the bag.
No grease stain.

If this were an authentic
Philadelphia cheese steak



you could see right through
the bag by now.

Well, I'm sorry you don't like
it. I'll dispose of it later.

- I'll throw it out.
- I'll dispose of it, Ashley.

Hey, you know where
you get the best

cheese steaks in Philly?

Pat's Steaks
on Passyunk Avenue.

Me and my buddy Ice Tray,
we used to go down there

every Friday.
We used to steal..

I mean, we would enjoy them
there often.

Ice Tray? Isn't he the one
you're always talking about?

Did I ever tell you
about the story

in the middle
of the winter, right?

Ice Tray grabbed onto
the back of a bus, right

and it was so cold, that his
face got stuck to the bus.

And he was dragging
around the city.

He couldn't get off
till he hit a bump

on the Ben Franklin Bridge.

Well, that's a story
we can all relate to.

Oh, cut it out, Philip.
He misses his friend.

Ice Tray's more like
my big brother, though.

Well, I've got a good idea.

Why don't we fly him out
for a weekend visit?

You mean it, Aunt Viv?
Yo, I'm down with that.

Word up. This is gonna be cold
stupid on the serious tip.

What did you say, young lady?

I said that this is quite an
exceptional idea, daddy.

Peachy-keen, even.
Later, my man.

Wonderful.
First Will, now Ashley.

I can't wait till
Ice Box gets here.

No, no, it's Ice Tray,
Uncle Phil.

Oh, Ice Tray.
I apologize.

Ice Box would be
an idiotic name.

Yeah, it would.

Hey, Aunt Viv,
this is going to be great.

I can't wait to get him out here
and show him

all the strange sights of L.A.

I don't even know
where to begin.

I'll take him to Disneyland,
to Marineland

- Dad, I need $200.
- I'll take him to Hilaryland.

- Why do you need $200, Hilary?
- For books.

I'm changing my major.

- To what?
- Communications.

And exactly what does
that entail?

Well, you know, it's like
you know, it's communications.

It's, like, the study of
communicating, okay?

Why do you want to
major in that?

Because I'm good at it.

♪ Now this is a story ♪

♪ All about how my life
got flipped ♪

♪ Turned upside-down ♪

♪ And I'd like to take a minute
just sit right there ♪

♪ I'll tell you
how I became the prince ♪

♪ Of a town called Bel-Air ♪

♪ In West Philadelphia,
born and raised ♪

♪ On the playground is where
I spent most of my days ♪

♪ Chillin' out, maxin'
relaxing all cool ♪

♪ And all shootin' some b-ball
outside of the school ♪

♪ When a couple of guys
who were up to no good ♪

♪ Started makin' trouble
in my neighborhood ♪

♪ I got in one little fight
and my mom got scared ♪

♪ And said you're moving
with your auntie ♪

♪ And uncle in Bel-Air ♪

♪ I whistled for a cab
and when it came near ♪

♪ The license plate said fresh
and it had dice in the mirror ♪

♪ If anything I can say
that this cab was rare ♪

♪ But I thought
nah forget it ♪

♪ Yo homes to Bel-Air ♪

♪ I pulled up to a house
about seven or eight ♪

♪ And I yelled
to the cabbie ♪

♪ Yo homes smell you later ♪

♪ I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there ♪

♪ To sit on my throne
as the prince of Bel-Air ♪♪

So I presume
this is the official

Ice Tray greeting party.

- Tray!
- Prince! Homey, get in there.

Guys, guys, you're gonna
hurt each other.

That's okay, Vivian.
Let's see where this goes.

Ice Tray, we didn't
hear you come in.

Geoffrey, did you leave
the door open?

Well, no.

I guess we must have
left it unlocked.

"Well, no."

You still got it, man.

Hi, I'm Vivian, Will's aunt.

Will, why don't you introduce
Ice Tray to your family?

I'm sorry. This is my little
Cousin Ashley.

Hi.

This is my bodyguard, Geoffrey.

All of this is my Uncle Phil.

Remember we used to say
that Daffy Duck

must have a little brother
somewhere?

Meet my Cousin Carlton.

Can't touch this.

Geoffrey, would you take
Ice Tray's luggage

to his room, please?

Certainly, madam.

So you're also a disadvantaged
inner-city youth, I hear.

- Yo, man, what's with him?
- It's a tan.

- What up on the schoolyard?
- School, man.

I don't bother it,
and it don't bother me.

You don't go to school,
Ice Tray?

Oh, sure, I do.

I've been held back
in the 10th grade

three times in a row.

Three times?

Yeah.
See, my motto is

when I find a grade I like

I stick with it.

Education is the mortar that
builds the temple of success.

That's what I
personally think.

Like who cares?

What's up with Smooth,
Jocko, and O-Money?

Smooth and Jocko, they got their
own singing group now.

And O-Money got his hair cut
to look like

the Chrysler Building.

Hey, that's good, though, man.

That Mount Rushmore thing
was not working.

This is dope, man.

I'm just gonna kick back here
for a few days

let somebody else do
all the work.

Excuse me, young man.

In this house,
everyone carries his own weight.

Too easy.

Come on, daddy.
Tray's on vacation.

Yo, yo, yo, see, my motto is

Lord, if there's anything like
work around my heart

please remove it.

Hey, hey, hey,
I smell something greasy.

Too easy.

Yo, a cheese steak!
Now this is the real deal.

Yo, man. Could I get $100?

- For what?
- To pay the limo dude.

You took a limo?

Prince said y'all was loaded,
and when in Rome, do as.

- A $100?
- I got a cash flow problem.

You see, my Korean Gucci bags

they just ain't been
moving lately.

Tray, let's pay the dude.

What's up with the Blake sisters

they still live on 43rd St.?

Yeah, man, they got
their own 900 number now.

Sheesh.

He's some piece of work,
huh, dad?

We're getting a rottweiler.

I know he seems a little
rough around the edges

but I think we should
all give him a chance.

When you really look at it,
how different

is Ice Tray from Carlton?

With all due respect, mom, I
think he's a little fonder

of the 10th grade than I.

Wait, hold up. What about that
one girl you went out with

that Latiqua?

Man, that girl was ugly.

Ugly?
You crazy, man.

She was so ugly,
she was oogly.

She was so ugly,
that Freddy Krueger used to have

nightmares about her.

At least she was smart though.

- That girl you was with..
- Stacy.

That girl was so dumb, it took
her an hour to cook Minute Rice.

Wait a minute.
Let's talk about skinny girls.

- Who's skinny?
- That Julie you went out with?

She was so skinny, you could tie
a rope around her head

and use her like
a tetherball pole.

Hold up.
Back to Stacy.

Yo, Stacy was so dumb.
Do you know how dumb Stacy was?

How dumb was Stacy?

Stacy was so dumb

that she took the
Pepsi Challenge and chose Jif.

This is dope, man.

Look at this.
Crystal, china dolls, a book.

You know people are rich
when they got all this stuff

you ain't got no use for.

Crime and Punishment.
Whoo..

That's just some tired old book
Carlton's reading, man.

Really? "From the library
of Master William Smith."

Who's tired now, homey?

They're trying to force us
to read that at school.

- I ain't gonna read it.
- Wait, Wait, wait.

This is your handwriting.
"Intriguing duality?"

Same old Prince, man.

You know, when I first met you,
you was carrying your books

in a pizza box so that nobody
knew you were studying.

Yeah, that was cool,
till them guys jumped me

trying to steal my pizza.

Yo, they was upset.

You got a good deal here, homey.
Don't blow it.

I'll go grab us some
cheese steaks, man.

Alright, now.

Hi.

Hi.

Vivian, I think you're blowing
this whole thing

out of proportion.

Now just tell me
the story again.

And this time, just the facts.

I'll give you
a transcript, Philip.

Tray: "Hi."
Hilary: "Hi."

I don't get it. What could she
possibly see in him?

Well, he's got a nice smile,
and cool hair.

Hair?
I thought it was a hat.

I think I should have gotten
a larger tattoo, Tray.

Tattoo?

I like got a tattoo of
Tray's initials.

- Where?
- Don't worry, Mrs. Banks.

No one will ever see it.

I'm gonna go put this stuff
up in my bedroom.

- I'll go with you.
- So will I.

Aunt Viv, you got to really be
proud of yourself.

Well, pride doesn't quite
capture it, Will.

I mean it was your idea
to bring Tray out here.

I mean, Hilary used to walk
around all the time

with such a sour look
on her face.

I used to say to myself,
she just needs one good

friend, Aunt Vivian.

Well, he does seem like an
interesting young man.

And you've only seen
one side of him.

He's just joking around now,
but he can be real serious.

- Really?
- I mean. Seriously.

If somebody's chasing him,
he can jack a fence like that.

But if somebody catch him,
it don't matter.

The boy got
a crazy rabbit punch

like you don't even
see it coming.

You out of there.

Let's go check out that swimming
pool, Prince.

- I'll see you later, babe.
- Okay, Icy.

It's nice to see you and
Ice Tray getting along.

I'm sorry he couldn't
stay longer.

Oh, no. Don't worry, mom.
I've got it all figured out.

He can come visit
every other weekend.

And then when
the 10th grade lets out

he can come stay
in the pool house.

And daddy can get him
a job at the office.

What job could he possibly
have in the law firm?

I don't know. Lawyer?

Anyways, mom, don't worry.

This is our problem,
not yours.

The only thing I want to say
is thank you.

For what?

Well, you, like, saw

right past his
rough-tough exterior

and you welcomed him
into our home.

I'm so proud of you, mom.

I just want to share
my joy with you.

I haven't been this happy
since I bought

my Giorgio Armani suit.

This is serious.

Hilary wants him to live
in our pool house.

Well, that shouldn't matter
to you, Vivian.

You're the one
who invited Ashtray.

In fact, why don't we invite
some more of Will's friends out?

Let's just put a big neon sign
out in front of the house

that says "Homeboy Hotel."

That's it.
I want him out of this house.

Oh, Vivian, Vivian, you're
making the classic mistake.

Don't you know that?

I have the perfect solution
for dealing with Mr. Ice Pick.

You do?

My street savvy

should not be taken lightly.

- She's rebelling against us.
- So?

So any hostility will only drive
her closer to him.

We have to embrace him, Vivian.

Welcome him into the family

take him out for a nice meal

smother him with acceptance.

Once the element
of rebellion is gone

the relationship
will lose its appeal.

- And what if that doesn't work?
- Oh, it'll work.

You two make such a
lovely, lovely couple.

- Dad, has mom been drinking?
- Nonsense, Carlton.

She's just being polite
to our lovely houseguest.

Have you been drinking?

Hey, Tray, check this.

- Oh, that's dope, man.
- Let me see.

- 'Ow!'
- Nice catch, lady.

Oh, God, Tray, you are so funny.
Isn't he funny, everyone?

Not to me.
Of course, I'm sober.

I think escargots
all around for starters.

- Snails.
- Oh, no, no, no, no.

I don't eat nothing
that leaves a trail.

God, Tray, you slay me.

He busts me up.

Okay, well,
before we get started

I'd like to propose a toast.

Tray, since this is your
last night here

Vivian and I would just like to
say that we're both

'extremely happy that Hilary's
found that special someone'

'that special love.'

'I can just see Hilary and Tray'

'in their tiny little
love nest in Philadelphia'

with the pitter-patter
of five little Ice Cubes.

Hilary changing diapers
and preparing a lovely meal

while her loving husband
is working his night job

on the corner as a Korean Gucci
bag representative.

Hilary, this is for those
wonderful years in Philadelphia.

I guess I'll be
driving home tonight.

I am so happy.

Dad, are you saying
that you wouldn't mind

if Tray and I,
like, got married?

Mind?

- Did you hear that, Vivian?
- Mind?

That's good, because Hilary and
I got married this afternoon.

Hilary, no, no!

How could you do this to us?
How could you be so stupid?

Do you realize you've gone
and ruined your life?

- This boy doesn't care--
- Mom, take it down 1,000.

It was only a joke.
We didn't get married.

We just wanted to see
what you'd do.

See, baby, I told you
they'd flip.

Yo, homey, order me
three steaks and a salad.

Come on, baby.
Let's dance.

Got married.

Sir, Master Tray's all packed
and ready to depart.

Excellent, Geoffrey.

Let's afford him
everything we can

in getting him on his way.

So shall I call
for a car, sir, or just

shoot him out of a cannon?

So, that really is a wonderful
restaurant, isn't it?

Yeah.

I think everybody had a good
time, don't you?

Uh-huh.

You know, I really enjoyed
meeting Ice Tray this weekend.

Any time you want to invite any
of your other friends

just let us know.

- You enjoyed it?
- Yeah, a lot.

Wasn't Hilary falling in love
with Tray

just the icing on the cake?

I'm glad they had fun together.

Yeah. Me, too. You know..

It's just a shame
he had to leave

before he had a chance
to ruin her life enough.

I'm sorry I said that,
it's just that--

But you meant it.

I mean, it was cool as long as
Tray was just some clown to

come out here and bring me some
cheese steaks and cheer me up.

Hold on. The second you found
out that Hilary liked him

you wanted him out of here.

That's something I'd expect
from Uncle Phil

not from you, Aunt Viv.

- Hilary is my daughter, Will.
- And Tray is my best friend.

We grew up together. We're from
the same neighborhood.

We're the same person.

If Tray's not good enough for
this family, then maybe I'm not.

No.
You are not the same person.

- I know who I am.
- No, you listen to me.

Now, I can see why you like
Ice Tray.

He's a lot of fun.
Everything's a joke to him.

School, work, people.
He doesn't care about anything.

Yeah, well, he always managed
to care about me.

Will, I'm glad he's
a good friend

but that doesn't change
who he is.

I'm sorry,
but a young man his age

should be able to do
something else

besides fight
and jump fences.

- You weren't there.
- I know, but still--

When I was in seventh grade,
everytime I tried

to bring books home from school
the kids would jump me

so Tray started
walking me home.

And if he hadn't been there to
throw those punches

and help me jump those fences

then maybe I wouldn't be here.

Well, while he was busy
protecting your books

where the hell were his?

What's that got to do
with anything?

Will, I'm glad he cared
so much about you.

But why doesn't he care
as much about himself?

Because nobody was there
for Tray.

You ever think that if he hadn't
been there to cover my back

maybe I wouldn't care about
myself either.

And that would be
an awful waste.

I shall load Mr. Tray's
belongings into the cannon.

I mean cab, madam.

We miss you in
the 'hood, homeboy.

Why don't you come on
back with me?

No, I better cool out
here, man.

If Uncle Phil woke up one
morning and I wasn't here

he'd have a nervous breakdown
or something.

I'd recover, Will.

I'm really going to miss you,
Ice Tray.

Alright, Mrs. Banks.
Thanks for inviting me out.

We gotta do this again sometime.

Have a safe trip back.
And take care of yourself.

Thanks.

Snap. I almost forgot. I got a
little something for y'all.

- That's our china dog.
- Yeah.

Well, I figured y'all were
so nice to me and everything

that, hey, I don't need it.

That was a joke.

Babe.

Tray, you've become
a part of my spirit

that's never been
touched before.

I feel a oneness with you

and now that
you're leaving I just

I have this sense that life will
be empty, hollow

and meaningless.

Well, peep this, babe.

See, I have this
first-class ticket.

Now we could go down to the
airport and trade it for two

coach tickets and you could come
back to Philly with me.

What do you think?

Coach?

[theme music]