The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (1990–1996): Season 1, Episode 23 - 72 Hours - full transcript

[snapping fingers]

♪ She's a brick ♪

♪ House ♪

♪ She's mighty mighty ♪

♪ Just letting it all
hang out ♪

♪ She's a brick ♪

♪ House ♪

♪ The lady's stacked
and that's a fact ♪

♪ And there isn't anything
wrong with that ♪

[laughing]

Let's take five, guys.



Will, was that
really necessary?

Oh, I'm sorry, Carlton.

You-you thought
I was laughin' at you?

That's what it sounded like.

Oh, no, no, no, no,
see, when I laugh at you

it's more like this.

[laughing]

Just for future reference.

Man, y'all butchered
that song.

Hey, C, I'm tellin' you,
if the Commodores

heard you singin', they'd
tie you down to the tracks

and run you over
with the Soul Train.

You know, I can understand
why you're threatened.

After all, you two possess
absolutely no musical ability.



Face it, you're so jealous,
you're green.

Alright, but just out
of curiosity, Carlton

what color are you?

Oh, here we go again.

Look, just because I grew up
in the best neighborhoods

and pronounce the I-N-G's
at the end of my words

doesn't make me
any less black than you.

No. It's that tie
that does it.

Look, face it, C,
I'm tellin' you

if you went down
to Jazz's neighborhood

lookin' the way you look

and talkin' the way you talk

you wouldn't come home
walkin' the way you walk.

And what neighborhood
is that?

I-in Compton.

And if you can make it there

you'll make it anywhere.

I'd do just fine
and dandy in Compton

thank you very much.

You know, C, talk is cheap.

What do you say to a bet?

Name it.

I'll bet you, you wouldn't
last a day in Compton.

Alright, and if I do

you have to stop makin'
those cheap shots at me.

Gee, I don't know. That's my
whole reason for livin'.

Better make it two days.

Two days, piece of cake.

And I guarantee,
when I get to Compton

I'll fit right in.

♪ 'Round 'round get around ♪

♪ I get around yeah round ♪♪

Damn, why didn't we bet money?

[theme song]

♪ Now this is a story
all about how ♪

♪ My life got flipped
turned upside down ♪

♪ And I'd like to take a minute
just sit right there ♪

♪ I'll tell you
how I became the prince ♪

♪ Of a town called Bel-Air ♪

[music continues]

♪ In West Philadelphia
born and raised ♪

♪ On the playground is where
I spent most of my days ♪

♪ Chillin' out maxin'
relaxin' all cool ♪

♪ And all shootin' some B-ball
outside of the school ♪

♪ When a couple of guys
who were up to no good ♪

♪ Started makin' trouble
in my neighborhood ♪

♪ I got in one little fight
and my mom got scared ♪

♪ And said you're movin'
with your auntie ♪

♪ And uncle in Bel-Air ♪

♪ I whistled for a cab
and when it came near ♪

♪ The license plate said fresh
and it had dice in the mirror ♪

♪ If anything I can say
that this cab was rare ♪

♪ But I thought nah forget it
yo homes to Bel-Air ♪

♪ I pulled up to a house
about seven or eight ♪

♪ And I yelled to the cabbie
yo homes smell you later ♪

♪ I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there ♪

♪ To sit on my throne
as the prince of Bel-Air ♪♪

[instrumental music]

Hello, everybody.

It looks like the working girl
is poised for a promotion.

Oh, what's up, sweetheart?

I just sold my first picture
at the art gallery.

I think I'm going
to get a raise.

Excellent, Ms. Hilary.

You must let me know
what that feels like.

Carlton, if you want to go
to Compton

I mean, you gotta
go through with this.

But I've never lied
to my parents.

It even gave me the willies

when beaver used to do it.

Alright, look, fine.
Well, well, the bet's off, then.

Man, it's about to be
diss-fest '91 around here.

And I feel one comin' on now.

Alright, alright, I'll do
it.

- Hi, Aunt Viv.
- Hi, guys.

Hi, mom, uh, dad,
did you sign

our permission slips yet?

I'm sorry, son. I don't know
what you're talking about.

I'm talking about
two weeks ago

when Will and I gave you
a permission slip

for our field trip
this weekend.

You said you'll think about
it
and sign it later.

It doesn't ring a bell.

[whistling]

Dad, you're always
saying how important

these opportunities are.

And then when they come up,
you completely ignore them.

It's like you don't even care.

- Philip?
- Oh...I remember.

Where are you goin', baby?

Mr. Fels is takin' the English
class to San Francisco

to visit Mark Twain's house

and all the literary sites.

I don't know.
I thought it was important.

Philip, how could you forget
something like that?

I didn't forget, Vivian.

Now, where did I put those
permission slips?

Dad, don't bother looking.

I found it in the trash can

underneath a banana.

Philip!

Honestly, forgetting
your son and nephew like that.

Here you are, guys.

- Thanks, dad.
- Thanks a lot, Uncle Phil.

I mean, really, Philip

I think you ought to review
your priorities.

I'm goin' straight to hell.

Well, here we are, C.
Jazz's crib.

Crib, house,
dwelling, domicile.

H-how did you know that?

Hip-hop flash cards?

I made them myself.
I've been crammin' all
night.

I just hope I can get it
out of my head

before I take the SATs.

- Yo, J.
- Prince.

- Shh.
- Shh.

Hi, roomie. Ah..

That's called leavin' me hanging

because my hand is literally
left hanging in the air.

- Ah, my brothers. A-roof!
- A-roof!

Yo, I want you to meet
Boomps, Vidal, and Tiny.

- My cousin Carlton.
- A-roof!

What was that all about?

Well, where do I put my things?

Oh, uh, let me have my
butler
get them.

Sorry.

I crack myself up.

No, you can put them
on the floor

but, um, watch out for my carpet

'cause it's imported
from Persia.

[chuckles]
I could do this all day.

Just take them to the bedroom.

[dog barking]

Ah, well, now that
Carlton's unpacked

I could go for grub.

Oh, what do I do
till you guys get back?

Well, let's see.

Ah! Chill.

- What's up?
- Oh, don't mind me.

I'm just here on a bet.

Just give me a little time
to acclimate myself.

Applegate? Yo, that sounds
like a school word.

You know, I don't like
school words.

I can't applegate
myself to 'em.

- That's very funny.
- It ain't supposed to be.

- Sorry.
- I don't like you.

Well, that's kind of
a snap decision, isn't it?

I mean, you've hardly had
time
to form an opinion.

Oh, oh, that's real mature.

[thudding on door]

(male #1)
'Everybody, put your hands
in the air!'

♪ Now wave 'em
like you just don't care ♪

♪ And if you're a square
from Delaware ♪

♪ And ya got
your own clean underwear ♪

♪ Then you better say
oh yeah ♪

♪ Oh yeah ♪

♪ Oh yeah ♪

♪ Oh yeah ♪

♪ Oh yeah ♪

What was that all about?

- Yo, fellas!
- A-roof!

Yo, my brother,
you want to buy a Gucci bag?

Sorry, my sister already has
about eight of them.

- Twenty dollars? Two dollars?
- I'm really not--

- I don't really--
- Fifty cents!

- What are you talking about?
- Twenty cents.

Twenty cents. That's not a real
Gucci bag, is it?

Yeah, well, maybe it is.
Maybe it ain't.

Alright, look..

...homey.

You're never going
to sell bags that way.

Now maybe if you went out
and bought yourself

a well-tailored suit
and lost the earring

then you'd look like
a real salesman.

And that grammar.. Sheesh!

What?

Are you trying to suggest
that I don't know

how to run my business?

[instrumental music]

Oh, look, Jazz, I just feel bad
for Carlton, man.

What does he know
about livin' in the 'hood?

I just spent
half the ride over here

trying to convince him
not to say dy-no-mite!

I mean, I just feel like
I'm tossing him

to the lions or something, man.
You know what I mean?

The Detroit Lions still got
those cheerleaders?

Open the door, man.

(man on TV)
'Yes, that's right.'

'You can buy property
for no money down!'

Yo, what's up?

Ca-Carlton..

...what the hell
are you wearing?

Yo, this?

Carlton, you look
like a pirate.

Yo, stop frontin'.
You know this gear is chill.

Why-why are you
talking like that?

Yo, how you playin' me, Prince?

- What?
- Yo, you dissin' me.

Come on, man, stop it!

Hey, Prince,
lay off of him, man.

- We like C-note.
- C-note?

Yeah, he was a little stiff

but he's comin' around.

Yeah. He's helping us
with our business.

Hey, C-note, how do I
figure my net worth?

Yo, how many times
I got to tell you?

Write your questions down.

I'll hook you up later.

I'm sorry.
That was rude of me, man.

Yo, we cool.

They love me.

Jazz, tell me that
this isn't happening.

I don't know, Prince. Man,
I'm starting to like him,
too.

Hey, yo, C, I wanna
thank you for that tip.

I'm going to go out and get me
some of them douche marks.

- That's Deutsche marks.
- Oh, okay.

Yo, check it out, C,
I'm leaving, right.

I'mma get get back with you
later, so you're gonna

help me open
that Schwab account.

Peace.

C-note, are you still comin'

to MacArthur Park
tomorrow night?

- Yo, I'm with it.
- Hey..

Whoa, whoa, whoa,
hold on, hold on.

You're going to MacArthur
Park
at night?

Yeah. My squad's going to sell
some Gucci bags.

It's a sales bonanza.

Sorry. There's no hip-hop word
for sales bonanza.

C, I don't go
to MacArthur Park.

What's up, Will?

Not man enough to swing
with the brothers?

Get over here, man!

Look, you have no idea
what MacArthur Park is like.

It's dangerous, man.

Oh, Will, if there's any danger,
I'll call the park rangers.

It's not
that kind of park, Boo-Boo.

Look, listen,
people get killed there.

Look, you have no idea

what you're gettin'
yourself into.

I know exactly what
I'm getting myself into.

Look, I'm tired of you
always talking down on me, Will.

I'm gonna win our bet,
and you'll never be able

to make fun of me again.

Look, you know what? You know
what? The bet is off,
Carlton.

It's off.
Come on, let's go home.

Hey, leave C-note alone, man.

He ain't leavin'
till he does my taxes.

Yo.

I'm going to sleep
on the floor.

[instrumental music]

Mom, when are Carlton and Will
coming home from their trip?

They should be here
any minute, sweetie.

Ah, these two days
have just flown right by.

Geoffrey, did you really enjoy
having Will

out of the house that much?

The closest I'll ever get
to a bonus.

Yo, my squad, what's up?

Carlton?

What happened to you?
Weren't you on your school trip?

Yo, I'm quittin' school.
That's for suckers.

Startin' my own business.

You know, I can get $20
for this china dog.

- No, you won't!
- Two dollars.

- Who's responsible for this?
- Listen, I can explain!

- Will! Aah!
- Stop!

[indistinct yelling]

[thudding on door]

(male #2)
'This is the police! Carlton,
come out with your hands up!'

You'll never take me alive!

[all screaming]

[screaming]

[instrumental music]

(Vivian)
'Is Hilary ready yet?'

- Would you like me to get her?
- Could you, please?

I don't know
what takes her so long.

We're never this late
for church.

Has anybody seen Geoffrey
this morning?

- No. Why?
- Just wondering where he is.

Philip, his weekends
are his own.

It's none of our business
where he goes.

♪ Ooh just to find
my love ♪♪

- Geoffrey?
- Madam.

I assumed you'd be
in church by now.

Maybe you'd care to join us.

Upon reflection,
perhaps I should.

Fine, I'm ready to go,
but we can't drive too fast

because things haven't set yet.

Well, if we hurry right now,
maybe we'll get there

before the service starts,
but I'm afraid

we still are gonna have to
sit
toward the back.

The back row? Oh, no.

The light is completely
different there.

I have to change.

Unc-Uncle Phil, Aunt Viv

look, I'm glad I caught you.

Will, why aren't you
in San Francisco?

Where's Carlton?

Okay, look, before I tell
you
that, Uncle Phil. I just--

Where's Carlton?

- In Compton.
- Compton?

What is he doing
in Compton?

- A very bad imitation of me.
- What?

Look, look, he just started
trippin', Aunt Vivs.

See, we had this bet that

he couldn't hang out
in the 'hood.

And he's just taking it
too far.

He's going to MacArthur Park
tonight

to sell Korean Gucci bags.

MacArthur Park?

- Where is he right now?
- He's down at Jazz's crib.

I am going down there
and I am bringing my baby back.

Oh, Vivian! Vivian! Vivian!

Calm down.

Now, nobody's going anywhere..

...except Will.

Will? That's me.
Where I'm going?

You're going down to Jazz's

and you're going to bring
Carlton back here

by the time
we're back from church.

Now, look, see, I can't exactly
do that, Uncle Phil.

It's just the way things work
down in the 'hood.

You know, it's like,
if a brother comes between

a brother and his brothers

then that brother
is considered a mother.

I will tell you
who's a mother. Me.

And I'm going down there
and I am bringing my baby back.

Vivian!

Put your earrings back on.

Will, I don't care
how this makes you look

to your friends.

I-I'm tired of bailing you out.

Why should I always
be the heavy?

No. I'm in enough
trouble as it is.

Vivian.

- Carlton.
- Shh! Grab a seat, man.

Dude's about to explain
variable rate mortgages.

Look, later. Carlton,
you got to come home.

- I'm not leavin'.
- Look, listen, man.

I called Aunt Viv to tell
her

how we was doing
in San Francisco.

She gave me some
bad news, man.

This Geoffrey, he fell down the
back steps, split his wig, man.

We gotta go the hospital.

- Knock it off, Will.
- Man, I'm not lying, man.

The whole family's
down at the hospital.

You can do what you want.
I'm going down there.

- You're serious?
- Yes!

- C-note, you better go, man.
- Yeah. Later.

My condolences.

Great. Let's go.

- Carlton!
- Mom!

Aunt Viv,
what are you doing here?

What does it look like
I'm doing here?

- I came to get my boy.
- Mom, I can explain.

We were on our way
to San Francisco

when I realized I had
a sociology report--

Don't even try, Carlton.

- Will told me everything.
- Ooh.

- It-it was a bet.
- A bet? I don't care.

Carlton, you are not going
to MacArthur Park tonight.

In fact, none of you are going

to MacArthur Park tonight.

- Wait a minute.
- Boy, do not test me.

Yes, ma'am.

Carlton, Will, get your things.

I will be waiting
downstairs in the car.

And another thing,
this place is a disgrace!

You have a trash can, honey.
Use it!

You went home
and told mom and dad?

You dimed him out.

Wait, wait, h-h-hold up.
I did the right thing.

Carlton was acting
irresponsibly.

Carlton was acting what?

In Cosby?
Prince used a school word.

You 5-0'd your own cousin.

Yo, man, you gettin' soft.
Sellout.

Hey, man, you about
to catch an eye-jamming.

You're getting a little
pale on us, ain't you?

My brother, you want to take
this outside?

Yo, yo, Prince, chill out.

Hey, J, I can't let him
say that stuff about me, man.

Maybe now you know
what it feels like.

[instrumental music]

Wow, what's it like to be
in this much trouble?

Why don't you ask Will?
He's been there before.

Well, they're going to do
all the talking anyway.

So you just pretty much nod
and say, "I'm sorry."

Uh-oh, and cry if you can.

Have mom and dad
talked to you yet?

Uh, no, but I think I heard
Uncle Phil upstairs

testin' his belts out.

Look, guys,
I know you're worried

but earlier I was upstairs
with mom and dad

and even though
they were initially upset

now I really think
they're willing

to overlook the whole thing.

- Really?
- What, are you kidding?

They're going to kill you guys.

[laughing]

Alright, guys.

Stand up.

Okay, this is new.

The only way
we're going to make it

is if we stick together.

- Explain.
- It's all Carlton's fault.

Will started it.

You the one got down there
and started tripping.

Well, you're the one
who made the bet!

But it was your idea
in the first place!

- Yeah, but you're the one--
- Hold it!

I am ashamed of you two.

Not only did you lie to us

but you put yourselves
in danger for a stupid bet.

But, mom, we were
never in any real danger.

Well, you are now.

Uncle Phil, at-at this juncture

I just want to ask, is, like,
one of us in any more trouble

than the other?

Will, you are the one
who started this whole
thing.

- I-I'm sorry, Aunt Viv.
- I'm sorry?

How many times
are we gonna hear that?

When are you going to start
taking responsibility

for your actions? When are you
going to grow up, boy?

I'm sorry, Aunt Viv.

Will, sit down.

Now none of this would have
happened if you hadn't insisted

on making fun of your cousin.

Now, you know, for a person
who's always going around

saying, "I wish people would
let me act the way I want"

you are awfully hard on Carlton.

- That was my point.
- That's no excuse, Carlton.

Just because Will teases you

you have to do
something this foolish?

Dad, I know it seemed foolish,
but I had to show him

that I had the courage
to survive down there.

That's not courage.

Courage is being
the way you are

no matter what anybody
says about you.

Will teases me

but you don't see me going

"Yo, yo, yo, homey, yo."

There's no "yo"
at the end of it.

I'm pretty sure of it.

Well, I'm glad you two had such
a fun time down in the 'hood

because we're going
to have a fun time

dreaming up your punishment.

Peace out.

Yo, I'mma go test
the lock on my door.

Goodnight, Carlton.

What do you mean, goodnight?

This is my time to gloat.

- Gloat?
- I won the bet.

I humiliated you
in front of your peers.

Plus, you said
I couldn't handle Compton

and I did. I'd say
it's time to gloat.

Goodnight, Carlton.

See, you're just embarrassed

because I beat you
at your own game.

Look, I've never judged you
for bein' the way you are

but you always act
like I don't measure up

to some rule of blackness
that you carry around.

H-h-h-hold up, wait, wait.
You don't judge me?

You do everything but carry
a big, old gavel around.

I mean, you treat me
like some kind of idiot

just 'cause I talk
different.

Differently.

Goodnight, Carlton.

Well, just so I don't need
to tell you later

I did win the bet.

- Well, no, you did not.
- Yes, I did.

No, no, wait, our bet was
that
you couldn't spend

the weekend in Compton,
and you didn't.

That's only because
you came and got me.

'Cause if I hadn't
come and got you

you'd have got yourself killed.

And why was that
important to you?

Pfft! It wasn't.

Yes, it was. Admit it, Will.
You care about me.

I do not.

You do. You like me.

You like havin' me around.

Hey, Carlton,
take it back, man.

Face it.

You just gotta face it.

You love me.

My brother, you want
to take this outside?

[instrumental music]

[theme music]

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪♪