The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (1990–1996): Season 1, Episode 21 - Love at First Fight - full transcript

Are you guys just
gonna watch TV all day?

Come on, Ashley,
this is for school.

(man on TV)
'Our spokesmodel
winner is Randy!'

- Yes!
- Yes! Ah!

I knew she was
going to win, man.

Look, I know you two
haven't had dates in a while

but how desperate can you get?

Well, I know how desperate
I can get.

How about you, Carl?

Sky's the limit.

I better go lock up
my Barbies.



[sighs]

I-I don't know, Carlton,
man.

It sure has been a long time
since I had a girl.

[scoffs]
Tell me about it.

Last Friday, the school nurse
started looking good to me.

Yeah, man, there's
something about how them

fat ankles roll over them
squeaky white shoes.

Will you get ready
for dinner?

This girl's going to be here
any minute.

- Girl?
- Girl?

Kayla Samuels.

She's a scholarship student

and she has
so much potential.

She just needs to be pointed
in the right direction.



- What's she like?
- Oh, she's a lovely girl.

Red flag.

Yo, what's up?

Mom's speaking
in the secret code

of mothers everywhere.

When she says, "Lovely girl"

that means,
"Get out the milk bones."

Carlton, please,
I'm just looking out for
her.

And I want you and Will
to make her feel welcome.

Uh, we will, Aunt Viv.

Besides, she's a darling
girl

with a nice personality.

Uh-oh.
I know that one.

What one?

"Nice personality"

means she's protected
by Greenpeace.

What I meant was,
Kayla's a very interesting girl.

She was a national merit scholar

captain of her math team

and president of her
high school's French club.

Well, there you have it,
Aunt Viv.

I mean, we wouldn't have
nothing to talk about.

I'm not good at math,
and I don't speak no French.

Miss Kayla Samuels.

Voulez-vous coucher
avec moi ce soir?

[theme song]

♪ Now this is a story ♪

♪ All about how my life
got flipped ♪

♪ Turned upside-down ♪

♪ And I'd like
to take a minute ♪

♪ Just sit right there ♪

♪ I'll tell you
how I became the prince ♪

♪ Of a town called Bel-Air ♪

♪ In West Philadelphia
born and raised ♪

♪ On the playground is where
I spent most of my days ♪

♪ Chillin' out maxin'
relaxin' all cool ♪

♪ And all shootin' some B-ball
outside of the school ♪

♪ When a couple of guys
who were up to no good ♪

♪ Started makin' trouble
in my neighborhood ♪

♪ I got in one little fight ♪

♪ And my mom got scared ♪

♪ And said you're moving
with your auntie ♪

♪ And uncle in Bel-Air ♪

♪ I whistled for a cab ♪

♪ And when it came near ♪

♪ The license plate said fresh ♪

♪ And it had dice
in the mirror ♪

♪ If anything I can say ♪

♪ That this cab was rare ♪

♪ But I thought
nah forget it ♪

♪ Yo home to Bel-Air ♪

♪ I pulled up to a house
about seven or eight ♪

♪ And I yelled
to the cabbie ♪

♪ Yo homes smell you later ♪

♪ I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there ♪

♪ To settle my throne
as the prince of Bel-Air ♪

So, Kayla, I understand
you're from New York?

- That's right.
- Oh, I love New York.

Fifth Avenue, the Plaza Hotel,
Trump Tower.

- Where abouts are you from?
- Harlem.

Oh.

Is it nice?

Kayla was valedictorian
of her high school.

Then we have a lot in
common.
We're both honor students.

But we have more in common.

We're both attractive
human beings of normal height.

- Dinner is served.
- Thank you, Geoffrey.

So, uh, who's that English dude?

Oh, Geoffrey?
Yeah, he's down with my posse.

You know, he cuts a nice fade,
so I keep him around.

Well, don't that make you large.

Hoo-oo.

Will, what are you trying to do?

When you grow up, Carlton

we'll have to have
that little talk.

Don't make me laugh.

You won't get to
first base with her.

To borrow a phrase
from your street lingo

she just hits you
with a pretty hard disk.

The word is "diss."

Well, I don't care whether it's
diss, dat, or the other thing.

Will, she goes to college.
She's not a girl, she's a woman.

And they don't go out
with high school boys.

But.. Look, maybe not out
here

but Kayla and I are both
straight out the 'hood, man.

Where we come from,
age don't make no
difference.

Seventeen, twenty-one,
thirty-three

they're all in the same
grade.

Professor Banks

I have to say
that your Shakespeare class

is my favorite course
this semester.

What's your favorite play
so far?

"Henry V."

And, you know,
that's surprising

because sequels tend to be
a little disappointing.

Did you happen to catch
"Rocky V?"

Anyway, "Henry V"

really deals with Shakespeare's
most interesting themes.

I've always favored
"Romeo and Juliet"

which is based on
the intellectual superiority

of servants
over those they serve.

Well, my favorite
Shakespeare play is "King Lear."

The story of a strong,
loving father

destroyed by his children.

- Well, "Hamlet" is my favorite.
- Really, sweetheart?

- What's your favorite part?
- Mother, are you kidding?

Mel Gibson in tights?

"Hamlet" does have
some of Shakespeare's

most compelling poetry.

You know,
speaking of poetry, ahem

do you know who
is a very, very serious poet?

The Intelligent Hoodlum,
you know?

I just got his tape.
It's upstairs.

Dude be dropping science.

I don't think we're covering him
this semester.

You're doing great, Will.
Now bring it home.

You know, I went on a school
trip to see a musical

based on a Shakespeare play,
"Kiss Me, Kate."

Ashley, that was based on

Shakespeare's
"Taming of the Shrew."

You know, in our building
back in West Philly

we had a wild shrew once.

You know, he's just crawling out
from under the kitchen sink.

Yo, dude was, like, this big.

Stole a Smithfield ham
from my Uncle Leroy.

- Well, I don't want to be rude.
- No, no, go ahead.

I was invited
to my English professor's home.

I was enjoying an interesting
discussion on Shakespeare.

I did not come here to discuss
Rocky, rap, and rodents.

And if you're doing this
for my benefit

I'm sorry,
I think it's very juvenile.

And I'm not in high school.

Worked like a charm, Will.

Philip, have you seen
my car keys?

Vivian, how many times
do we have to go through this?

Let's retrace your steps.
When did you last have them?

- Last night.
- Okay. When last night?

When I said, "Yes, Philip,
you can borrow my car keys."

Daddy, if you're always losing
your keys

you should use my system.

What's that?

Okay, like, I was always losing
my car keys

so I went down to the key store
and I had 30 copies made.

That way, when I lose a key,
I always have another one.

And next month,
I do the same thing.

- That's your system?
- Absolutely.

And I did the same thing
with our house key.

You mean, there are copies
of our house key

all over Los Angeles?

Don't worry, daddy.

I've put our name and address
on all of them.

Come on, Philip.
We got to find those car
keys.

Kayla's gonna be here
any minute.

And I promised her
I'll take her to

a poetry reading down at USC

and I don't wanna be late.

Oh. No, hold on. Wait.
Kayla's coming over here?

[scoffs]
Look, I'm out of here.

I don't even want to hear
that girl's name again.

Fine. Well, we don't have to
talk about her.

Good.

You know what my beef
with Kayla is?

Well, I thought you didn't
want to talk about Kayla?

[doorbell rings]

- Oh, there's Kayla.
- Oh, great. This is great.

Look, I'm out of here.
I'm leaving.

Miss Kayla Samuels.

We'll leave
as soon as we find the car keys.

Mom, maybe we should
just drive around town

and look for Hilary's keys.

- Uh, Kayla.
- Yes.

Look, I just want to apologize

for my behavior
at dinner the other night.

You know, I was kidding around,
and I took it a little too far.

That's okay.

I just have one question,
you know?

I-I hope it's not too personal
or anything.

What is it?

Have you always been
this stuck-up

or did it take, like, years
of practice?

You calling me stuck-up?
You the one that's stuck-up.

- Me?
- That's right, my brother.

Walking around
fronting like you all that.

[stammering]
Excuse me, Miss Madam.

But you're the one
fronting like you all that

when in actuality,
you're about that much of that.

You so stuck-up
that your fingers

got to make an appointment
to scratch your damn head.

- Your mama..
- My mana? What about my mama?

Your mama's so fat, they showed
her a picture of her feet

and she couldn't identify them.

Okay. You.. You know what?

Your mama's so dumb,
she went to the movies

it said,
"Under 17 not admitted."

So she went home
and got 16 of her friends.

I, I shouldn't be talking
about your mama.

I feel sorry for your mama,
having such an ugly child.

Say what?

You're so ugly, she tied
a pork chop around your neck

just so the dog
would play with you.

[stammers]
You so ugly

your mama had to feed you
with a slingshot.

You so ugly,
that ain't a fade on your head

that's your hair
running away from your face.

You so ugly..
No-no. This is a good one.

You are so ugly that if
you..

Damn, baby. You so fine.

I-I would kiss you,
but I just had a chilidog.

[instrumental music]

[imitating Popeye laughing]

Happy two-week anniversary,
Olive Oyl.

Thank you, Popeye.

These are really pretty.
You shouldn't have.

Yeah, that's what
my neighbor's gardener said.

Man, look like you been studying
with the hardness.

You ever filled your head
with so much information

you felt like it was gonna bust?

No. But..

You know, I once
got up to the third level

of Super Mario Brothers

and, yo, it was hectic up there.

I have a lot more reading to do.

Oh, no. No.
That's cool. Go ahead.

I got some stuff to do anyway.

- Will, I'm studying.
- So am I.

Damn, I'm almost ready
for the test.

Come on, honey. I got a big
Shakespeare exam coming up.

Alright, alright.
L-let me help you out.

Okay. Alright.

Read me a passage from this book

and I'll try to identify
the play.

Alright. You can't cheat.

- I'll move back.
- Here we go.

Oh. You are never gonna
get this one. Alright. Ahem.

"Romeo, Romeo!
Wherefore art thou, Romeo?"

Ah. Here we go. Ahem.

"The weight of this sad time
we must obey

"Speak what we feel,
not what we ought to say."

That is, um

Albany,
Act V, Scene III, "King Lear."

Damn, you're good!

Well, not really.

These children
been studying Shakespeare

since the ninth grade.

I'm just catching up.

Oh, come on, baby.
Stop tripping.

Look, you the smartest girl
I ever known.

You know, when you start using
them million dollar words

makes my liver quiver.

Thank you, Will. You're the only
boy I've ever been with

that really appreciates
my being sesquipedalian.

Meow, baby.

Hi, Kayla, hi, Will. Hope
I'm not interrupting anything.

But I probably am.

Anyhow, I just wanted to pick up
my checkbook.

I have to buy a new outfit
for the frat party on Saturday.

- Who's throwing a party?
- The guys of Sigma Sigma Gamma.

'There's gonna be
a really cool band'

and everyone is
going to be there.

Come on, baby. That sounds dope.
Let's go.

I don't feel like it.

Okay. Bye.

How come you didn't want to go?

I've been to one
of those parties, Will.

It's like being on the moon
or something.

I have nobody to talk to, and..

I just left after ten
minutes.

Oh, well, that's alright.
Here, come on.

We can go to a party
at my fraternity.

Your fraternity?

Yeah, uh, Sigma Fly.

[instrumental music]

(Geoffrey)
That's right, my dear.

I'll be round your place
at 8:00.

Wear something daring.

Surprise me.

I'm in a dangerous mood.

I thought we'd light a fire,
put on a Tom Jones album.

[laughing]

And after a cognac or two

test the waters of adventure.

Did you know, my dear,
I'm an excellent photographer?

I hope you're not camera-shy.

- What?
- Ahem.

So the draperies
will be ready Thursday?

Goodbye.

♪ The love boat ♪

♪ Soon we'll be making
another ru-u-un ♪♪

So, Will, dating an older woman.

I'm so proud of you.

This is just like Cher
and that bagel boy.

When you've got a fantastic
woman at your side

you feel like a million
bucks.

I've got a splitting headache.

You know,
when I have a headache

Kayla breaks out the baby oil

and gives me one of them
strong back rubs, you know?

And then right after that--

I don't want to hear about this.

- I'm going to school.
- It doesn't start for an hour.

I know, but sometimes
there's an early

girls' volleyball game
in the gym

and they wear
those little shorts and..

That's really pitiful, isn't it?

Miss Kayla Samuels.

- Prince.
-Hola, princesa.

- Oh, you look so good.
- Yeah, I know.

- Oh, Kayla.
- 'Hi, Professor Banks.'

You know, you weren't
in class yesterday.

I-I had cramps.

I'm-I'm really sorry.
I've been so busy lately.

But I will be there next time.

So, will I see you tonight
at the English department party?

Oh, yes. I'll be there.

Later, baby.

Well, Kayla's really been
spending a lot of time with you.

You know, Aunt Viv

I'm sort of like
a big old bag

of Lay's potato chips, you know?

It's like, once you get a taste,
you just can't stop.

Well, you're certainly like
a big old bag of something.

Well, honey, listen to me.

I just read
Kayla's Shakespeare exam.

It's way below her usual work.

Now, I'm gonna have to give her
a "D," and that kills me.

A "D?" Come on.
She's real smart.

I know, but she still
has to do the work

which she hasn't been doing
lately.

Look, that's just one bad grade.
It ain't the end the world.

Will, when your grades slip

we ground you and we make
sure
you get back on track.

If Kayla slips,
she loses her scholarship

and she doesn't
get another chance.

W-what do you want me to do?

Let her have some time alone
for her schoolwork.

Oh. Yeah. This is great.
This is great.

I've been he-here
all these months

chasing all these
chicken-headed girls around, uh

and I finally find a girl
that I really like

and you are telling me
I gotta leave her alone?

I know Kayla's special

but if you care that much about
her, you have to be responsible.

- Do what's best for her.
- Look, look.

Maybe being with me
is best for her.

You know, I make her happy.

Aunt Viv, you know, you know

she wasn't fitting in
in at that place.

Listen, baby,
I know you wanna make her happy

but this is about her life.

This might be
the difference between

Dr. Kayla Samuels
who runs the hospital

or just Kayla who cleans it.

[instrumental music]

- You thirsty?
- Yeah.

That's Dr. Kramer.
He's one of my professors.

I believe Chaucer said it best

"Let every fellow
tell his tale about

"and let's see now
who shall the supper wine."

Phew! And I thought Carlton's
come-on lines were funky.

- Hello, Will, Kayla.
- Hi, Professor Banks.

Listen, Kayla, don't feel
obligated to stay at this party

because it's strictly optional.

So if you have work to do,
it's alright to leave.

Oh. Yeah, I know.

I was just taking
a little break.

Fine, fine. See you later.

Well, maybe it
ain't such a bad idea

you know, to go back
to your room.

I guess this is kind of
wack.

We can have a little party
in my room

'cause I don't have classes
till Wednesday.

I-I was thinking
maybe you should go by yourself.

Excuse me?

You know, we've been seeing
each other every minute.

You know, I-I thought we just
need a little time apart.

Apart? What the hell
are you trying to say, Will?

Did you come to this party
to break up with me?

no. No, no, no. No. Look.

I just think you need more time
to concentrate on your studying.

Oh, that is weak.

Look, Kayla, you got a "D"
on your last exam.

Did your auntie tell you that?

Did your auntie tell the
whole
world I got one bad grade?

Look, Kayla, you have
a big opportunity here

and I don't wanna have
no parts of you blowing it.

Yes, it's my big
opportunity.

That's what everybody
keeps telling me, Will.

I do not need to hear it
from you.

[instrumental music]

Uh, the answer is "C."

I'm not sure
what you're studying

but I found out
with multiple-choice

you can't go wrong with "C."

Come on, Kayla.

Look, I know I didn't say all
the right things at the party--

What are you trying to say,
Will?

You want me to study,
I'm studying.

What are you doing here?

I just wish everybody
would leave me alone.

Can I come in?

I guess that won't be happening
tonight.

Kayla, baby,
don't be so angry with Will.

I told him that
I didn't think you two

should spend
so much time together.

You did what?

You're not my legal guardian.

How would you feel if someone
interfered with your life?

Just face it, professor..

...you fit in here.

I don't.

- Uh, I think I should go.
- Will, I want you to stay.

Look, I didn't always fit in.
Let me tell you both--

Let me tell you something.

I got four older sisters

all of them mamas
before they were 18.

None of them
finished high school.

Everybody's waiting for
Kayla.

I'm the last chance
for the whole damn family

and you have no idea
what that feels like.

Oh, I know what that feels like.

And I know what it feels like

to clean hotel rooms
during the day

and go to school at night

just to get the high school
diploma I didn't get.

Aunt Viv, y-you dropped
out of high school?

It's not something I'm proud of,
but I did it.

My whole family was counting
on me, too..

...but I couldn't handle
the pressure

so I ran off with some guy
and quit school.

By the time I realized I'd made
a mistake, it was too late.

I was left with no education

and nothing
I was qualified to do.

It took me years to get
back.

And, honey, if you wonder
why

I seem to fit so well here

it's because
I worked damn hard to get here

and I know I deserve it.

And your problem is that
you don't know you deserve it.

Will knows it and I know it..

...but unless you know it,
there is nothing more I can say.

See you at home, Will.

Man!

I didn't know Aunt Viv
cleaned hotel rooms.

Wonder how come
she never cleaned my room.

You alright, babe?

It's scary here.

Oh, come on.
You're going to make it.

I mean.. Look, I'm telling you.
If there's anything I can do..

...or not do, I will do..

...or not do.

That sounds good.

Well, I got, um, three weeks of
goofing off to make up for

so I'm gonna hit the books.

Yeah. I'll stay out of your way.

We both have
a new leaf to turn over, huh?

Yeah, you're right.

- I'll call you?
- Okay.

Later, baby.

Later.

Out! Out! Out!

[theme music]

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪♪