The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (1990–1996): Season 1, Episode 2 - Bang the Drum, Ashley - full transcript

[theme song]

♪ Now this is a story all about
how my life got flipped ♪

♪ Turned upside-down
and I'd like to take a minute ♪

♪ Just sit right there ♪

♪ I'll tell you
how I became the prince ♪

♪ Of a town called Bel-Air ♪

♪ In West Philadelphia
born and raised ♪

♪ On the playground is where
I spent most of my days ♪

♪ Chillin' out maxin'
relaxin' all cool ♪

♪ And all shootin' some b-ball
outside of the school ♪

♪ When a couple of guys
who were up to no good ♪



♪ Started makin' trouble
in my neighborhood ♪

♪ I got in one little fight
and my mom got scared ♪

♪ And said you're moving
with your auntie ♪

♪ And uncle in Bel-Air ♪

♪ I begged and pleaded
with her the other day ♪

♪ But she packed my suitcase
and sent me on my way ♪

♪ She gave me a kiss and
then she gave me my ticket ♪

♪ I put my Walkman on and
said I might as well kick it ♪

♪ First class
yo this is bad ♪

♪ Drinking orange juice
out of a champagne glass ♪

♪ Is this what the people
of Bel-Air living like ♪

♪ Hmm this might be alright ♪

♪ I whistled for a cab
and when it came near ♪

♪ The license plate said Fresh ♪



♪ And it had dice
in the mirror ♪

♪ If anything I can say
that this cab was rare ♪

♪ But I thought nah forget it ♪

♪ Yo holmes to Bel-Air ♪

♪ I pulled up to a house
about seven or eight ♪

♪ And I yelled to the cabbie
yo holmes smell you later ♪

♪ Looked at my kingdom
I was finally there ♪

♪ To sit on my throne
as the prince of Bel-Air ♪♪

[instrumental music]

Today, sir, I thought

we might begin the day
with an aspirin

preventative medicine
being so much the mode.

It's too late, Geoffrey.

I already have a headache,
just anticipating

that infernal
hammering at the office.

Honey, I thought
the workmen were supposed

to be done by yesterday.

Shockingly enough, Vivian,
they're behind schedule.

Dad, it's so obvious.

If all that hammering
is bothering you

just tell them to quit it.

I don't even want to
talk about it.

These are the only
moments of peace

and quiet I'll have all day.

♪ I got the power ♪

♪ I got the power ♪

[Will hawking]

♪ I got the power ♪♪

Another aspirin, sir?

Perhaps a gun.

Vivian, what the devil
is he doing up there?

"I Got The Power" by Snap.

Snap is a great band.

Well, when Crackle and Pop
cut a disk

then call me.

[laughs]

Oh, what's so funny?

Carlton told a joke.

No, no, no, Hilary.
Carlton is a joke.

Mommy, who's gonna take me
to my tennis lesson

after school today?

Are you sure it's tennis today,
sweetie?

Maybe you better
check your schedule.

- Schedule?
- Yeah.

My parents
bought me this calendar

so I could keep
my lessons straight.

Didn't you have a schedule
for after school

when you were my age?

Yeah, the "TV Guide."

See, Monday's for ballet

Tuesday's riding

Wednesday's violin. Oops.

I thought today was violin,
sweetie pie.

You mean Ashley would have shown
up for her violin lesson

in her tennis outfit?

[laughing]

Oh! I just pictured it.

[laughing]

Well, I'm two for two.

I'm going to quit
while I'm ahead.

Can I suggest retirement? Just..

Ouch. Keep 'em coming, Will.

So, mommy,
who's gonna drive me?

- Hilary?
- Oh, look..

There's a growing pollution
problem in this city

and I, for one,
will not contribute to it.

I absolutely refuse to
drive anybody anywhere

until a responsible
carpool is organized.

But, Hilary,
Ashley is in a carpool.

Well, I just don't
want to do it, okay?

I have an idea.

Will, you don't have
any chores this afternoon.

You can drive Ashley.

Word up. Kick over
the keys to the jag.

The benzito?

Hm! The station wagon.

Oh, come on, Uncle Phil.
You're going to ruin my rep.

You're only 17.
You don't have a rep yet.

You will drive her to her class,
you will wait for her there

and you will bring her home.

Oh, come on, man,
I got to sit through

a hour of scratchy violins?

Will, you might
learn something.

Yeah, the same thing I learned

from banging my head up
against a pole for hours

don't do it again.

This is your new job.

Wednesdays
you are Ashley's driver.

Understood?

Y-y-yes'm.

I'll be more than happy

to drive you
to the Piggly Wiggly

Miss Daisy.

[playing off-key]

[accelerating]

- I'm sorry.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Ladies, hold it, wait a minute,
wait a minute.

L-let's try
somethin' different, alright?

Everybody just repeat
after me, okay?

♪ I got the power ♪

♪ I got the power ♪

♪ I got the power ♪

♪ I got the power ♪♪

- Somebody say ho!
- Ho!

- Say ho ho!
- Ho ho!

Now everybody scream!

[all screaming]

[striking piano key]

♪ I got the power ♪

♪ I got the power ♪

♪ I got the power ♪

♪ I got the power
I got the.. ♪♪

Come, girls!
You are late.

Now, let's begin

with the piece
you were to memorize

'from Stravinsky's
"Violin Concerto In D Minor."'

And remember,
you are playing this

for a woman who was
the great Stravinsky's lover.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

'Faster, faster,
faster, faster.'

Stop. Stop.

You there.
What you do here?

U-um...uh, um,
I'm Ashley's cousin.

I-I was just waiting
to drive her home.

Hey, you make me kinda nervous
with that stick, lady.

You dare to read while
great Stravinsky is played?

I wasn't as tight
with the man as you were.

Hah, do not attempt
to make joke with me.

I was lover of both
Laurel and Hardy.

Guess that look really
works for you then.

[intense music]

[sighs]

Hey, Ash, you know,
that was decent

to listen to that
kind of music, you know

without having to see
Freddy Krueger kill somebody.

I'm glad
somebody enjoys it.

What, don't you?

Well, not yet

but when I'm older,
it will be useful to me.

No, wait.
That's tennis.

- Who told you that?
- My dad.

Ash, just 'cause your dad
likes somethin'

doesn't mean
you have to like it.

I mean, he likes being a lawyer.

That doesn't mean
you have to be a lawyer.

- I am going to be a lawyer.
- Oh..

Ash, the world does not
need another Philip Banks.

In fact, we might not
have enough farmland

to support the one we have.

No. The world needs
an Ashley Banks.

Girls, you must remember
to practice more, no?

Violin is very jealous

much like the sexy Toscanini.

If you even look at another

it will not speak to you
for days

but if you give
all of yourselves

it will fulfill
your every need

and set your very soul on fire.

What does she mean by that?

Well, let's just say
the lady expects a lot

from a piece of wood
and some strings.

[instrumental music]

Geo..

Your aspirin, sir.

Thank you, Geoffrey.

Do you attribute
your headaches, sir

solely to the ongoing
construction in your office

or do you suppose there might be

a stress factor involved?

This is how my day went,
Geoffrey.

At 9 o'clock
they were pounding.

At 10 o'clock
they were jackhammering.

By noon, a pneumatic drill
came into play.

And, Geoffrey, they were
just repainting the office.

I'd say that's cause for stress,
wouldn't you?

Mmm.

You know, sir,
the Earl of Cranbrook

to whom I was in service
for several years

suffered from the most
severe headaches.

A-and you're saying
that these were caused

by some sort of stress?

I should very much doubt it.

He spent his days
riding to the hounds

and his evenings attending
rather pleasant dinner parties

with his delightful wife
Lady Celia.

Now..

...she was a terribly good
snooker player

one of the best,
and one night, she bet--

Geoffrey.

Where does
the stress come in?

Well, it certainly doesn't
in Lord Cranbrook's case.

I never saw
a calmer household.

Then what was the point
of the story, Geoffrey?

Sheer entertainment, sir.

[loud drumming]

What the devil was that?

I believe the technical term
is a rim shot.

Who did it?

Utter speculation, of course

but my guess
is Master William.

Will.

[loud drumming]

[indistinct singing]

Will!

[drumming]

Will!

Will!

Vivian.

Ashley, honey..

Where is your violin?

Big Sal has it.

Big Sal?

He owns this really great store

where you don't
need any money.

You just go in and give him
something you don't even

want anymore, and he gives you
this ticket and then--

A pawnshop?

You took her
to a pawnshop?

Well, yeah,
it was really hard, too.

Man, you-you don't have
many pawnshops in Bel-Air.

You know that's really a shame.

You know, I had to go
all the way to East LA.

East LA?

But they gave me
a great deal.

They gave you a set of drums.

And..

...I made them throw in
a little gift for each of you.

- Close your eyes.
- Vivian!

I want my present.

- Okay, open.
- Huh!

Oh, Will, what a lovely
antique necklace.

What is this?

Daddy, it's a diamond.

No, it isn't.

- You don't like it?
- No, I do not.

Can I have it?

How dare you
pawn her violin!

She don't even
like playing it no more.

She will learn to like it later.

A young woman
who can play a violin

is an accomplished young lady.

Yo, a girlie that
can play the drums

can write her own ticket.

Will, I want the best
for Ashley.

When I was a kid,
I loved classical music

but my parents
couldn't afford lessons.

I used to stand out in the
parking lot of the Philharmonic

hoping to catch
a spare note on the night air.

Philip, when I met you,
you were into James Brown.

He liked James Brown?

He even wore
his hair like him.

[laughs]
He had hair?

You know, it is possible
to like both

classical music
and James Brown.

And I could not agree more

so let's let Ashley
play whatever she wants.

She spent an entire year
on the violin.

So, if she wants to try
somethin' new, let her.

You tell him, Aunt Viv.

And as for you, young man..

Love you.

The next time you decide
to visit a pawnshop, don't.

- Now are we clear on that?
- Yes.

[clears throat]

Master William

there is a young gentleman
downstairs

with a rather large radio
who is here to see you.

He claims
his name is Jazz.

Yo, word up.
Send him up.

Now, now who is
this Jazz fellow?

Yo, I heard the boy at a club.
He is all of that.

I hope he's gonna be Ashley's
new music teacher.

I mean, now he's not as
experienced as Madame Chatchka

but then, who is?

Mr. Jazz.

It's nice to meet you, Jazz.

How do you do?
I'm Mr. Banks.

You got that right.

Man, you're loaded!

Yo, what's up, J?

Come on, Philip.
Let's just leave them alone.

I asked him to take him,
take her to her lesson--

I know, baby..

Tell mama all about it.

Ash, how about
let Jazz get busy one time?

[drum music]

♪ Oh yeah ♪

♪ Oh play two stick ♪

♪ Shake your booty
on the floor tonight ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Hey ♪♪

[instrumental music]

So Carlton,
how's the, uh, soccer scene?

Well, I may be moving up
from JV to Varsity, but..

[loud drumming]

Am I the only one
who find this drumming

inappropriate for high tea?

I can't take
another week of this.

From morning until night,
all I hear is this relentless

pulsating, thumping beat.

[exhales sharply]
I'm going to the Hard Rock Cafe.

Hilary.

Stay.

We are having tea.

It's a civilized way for me
to have a conversation

with my family,
so someone talk.

[drumming continues]

I want her
severely punished.

Look, it was the only time
that Jazz

could give her a lesson today.

Vivian, I wish you would
stop calling him that.

- But that's his name.
- It is not. It can't be.

Philip, these kids like to
make up their own names.

Let them.

Okay.

Fine.

So, from now on,
I'm no longer Philip Banks.

Just call me
King Edward IV.

As you wish, Your Majesty.

Humor, sir.

Dad, I'm as liberal
as the next guy

but it's time for someone
to take the reins.

High tea has been a weekly
tradition in our family

for as long
as I can remember.

If we let young Will
ruin this for us

what's next to go?
Christmas?

I can't answer that question
for you, son.

Ask your mother.

Oh, come on, you two.

High tea is not
a sacred institution.

[Geoffrey clears throat]

It's not the tea.

It's not the drums.

It's Ashley.

I've spent nine years

trying to raise
a proper young lady

and Will is undoing
all of my work in a week.

Ashley, honey,
come down here!

- What are you doing?
- He's punishing her.

No, Hilary, I just want her to
spend some time with her family.

Same thing.

What is all this yelling
about downstairs?

Look, we are trying to give
a music lesson upstairs.

Work with me, people, please?

You've been practicing
all afternoon.

Uh, look, that is the only way
she's gonna become a star.

Now, this young lady
has the drive, the good look

and the intelligence
to get to the top

but she will not be
on "Yo! MTV Raps"

if you all
don't work with me.

Practice is over, Will.

Ashley, honey,
it's teatime.

Ooh, tea.

Biscuits!

Geoffrey, put on our
teatime music, please.

You'll love this, honey.

It's "Brandenburg Concertos."

["Brandenburg Concertos"]

Hey, Jazz, hit me
with some sugar, man.

[plop]

How about a little milk?

- No..
- I'll get it.

I thought
this was Sterling.

It's got that
certain weight to it.

Ah.

Yes, yes.
This is my favorite part.

Ashley, honey,
this is possibly

the most beautiful music
ever written.

Would someone
turn it up for me, please?

Jazz, crank that up for me.

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes. Listen.
Listen, darling.

Listen to the violins.

Beautiful.

Oh.

The oboes
will be coming next.

[record needle scratching]

Aah!

Geoffrey, would tell
Miss Ashley I'd like to

speak to her, please?

- Right away, sir.
- Philip.

Philip, now I know you're upset

but I want you to stay calm.

[chuckles]
I'm calm.

I'm happy.

I'm in control.

You see, Vivian..

...I had lost control.

Lost control?

You drop kicked a human being

across our front lawn.

It felt good, dammit.

I'm back in the saddle again.
Mm.

You know, I think living down
the street from the Regan's

has had a very bad
effect on you.

Oh, Will, your uncle just wanted
to speak with Ashley.

No. No, let him stay.

I want him
to hear this, too.

I hope this isn't going to be
one of those Theo moments.

Ashley, honey..

...sit down.

Ashley, baby..

[sighs]
...through no fault of your own

things went down
a very wrong path this week

but luckily, your daddy
has put it all back together.

You're going to return
to the violin.

I've called
Madame Chatchka.

She's agreed to give you
a make-up lesson.

You must've caught her on one
of her rare free nights, huh?

Will, please?

I think we've all lost sight
of the most important thing here

and that is,
what's best for Ashley.

Man, it's not what's
best for Ashley.

I mean, you're trying
to control her too much.

She's nine-years-old,
and she's got a calendar

telling her where she's got to
be and what she's gotta do.

Oh, I see, but she doesn't have
to worry about that anymore

because now you tell her
what to do, right?

There's only one thing
wrong with that, Will

you're not her father.

Alright, okay,
but how come you didn't know

she doesn't like the violin?

She liked it for a whole year
before you moved in

to this house,
can you explain that?

I never liked it, daddy.

That explains it.

I mean, look, if you ask her

she'll tell you
she wants to play the drums.

I don't like the drums either.

See? See?
Now you confused her.

I'm not confused.

I just didn't want to
disappoint you, Will.

And I didn't want to
disappoint you, daddy.

Now hold on.

Now let's
get this straight.

Ashley, honey, you don't
have to please Will

and you don't have
to please your father.

You just continue
the lessons that you like best.

You mean it, mommy?

Absolutely, sweetheart.

Then I want to quit ballet.

Ballet? Honey, no.

Oh, thanks, mom!

But, honey, you look so cute
in that little tutu.

Oh, I really hate it,
mommy.

But, Ashley, honey,
just until Christmas?

Do you believe that?

She wants
to quit everything.

I know.

These kids today,
they have no attention span.

I blame television.

[instrumental music]

[theme music]

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪♪