The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (1990–1996): Season 1, Episode 1 - The Fresh Prince Project - full transcript

[theme music]

♪ Now this is a story
all about ♪

♪ How my life got flipped
turned upside down ♪

♪ And I'd like to take a minute
just sit right there ♪

♪ I'll tell you how
I became the prince ♪

♪ Of a town called Bel-Air ♪

[music continues]

♪ In West Philadelphia
born and raised ♪

♪ On the playground is where
I spent most of my days ♪

♪ Chillin' out maxin'
and relaxin' all cool ♪

♪ And all shootin' some B-ball
outside of the school ♪



♪ When a couple of guys
who were up to no good ♪

♪ Started makin' trouble
in my neighborhood ♪

♪ I got in one little fight
and my mom got scared ♪

♪ And said you're moving
with your aunty ♪

♪ And uncle in Bel-Air ♪

♪ I begged and pleaded
with her day after day ♪

♪ But she packed my suitcase
and sent me on my way ♪

♪ She gave me a kiss
and then she gave me my ticket ♪

♪ I put my walkman on and said
I might as well kick it ♪

♪ First class yo this is bad ♪

♪ Drinking orange juice
out of a champagne glass ♪

♪ Is this what the people of
Bel-Air living like ♪

♪ Hmmm this might be alright ♪

♪ I whistled for a cab
and when it came near ♪



♪ The license plate said fresh
and it had dice in the mirror ♪

♪ If anything I can say
that this cab was rare ♪

♪ But I thought
nah forget it ♪

♪ Yo homes to Bel-Air ♪

[music continues]

♪ I pulled up to a house
about seven or eight ♪

♪ And I yelled
to the cabbie ♪

♪ Yo homes smell ya later ♪

♪ I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there ♪

♪ To sit on my throne
as the Prince of Bel-Air ♪♪

[music continues]

[knocking rhythmically]

♪ Back to life ♪

♪ Back to reality ♪

♪ Back to the present time ♪♪

[indistinct singing]

Hey, Uncle Phil!
Oh, man!

How are you doing?

I am not
your Uncle Philip.

Oh, uh, my fault, man.

I must have got
the wrong crib, hey, but..

Hey, yo, I didn't know
so many brothers

living in this neighborhood.

We're doing alright, huh?

You have the right house.

I am Geoffrey,
your uncle's butler.

[imitating English accent]
Oh, okay, well, I..
Cheerio and all that rot.

[indistinct chatter]

Bring the horses round,
would you?

[laughs]

If you will follow me

I will show you to your room,
Master William.

Hey, man, it's cool
if you just call me Will, man.

Master William

tradition dictates
that a clean, unbreakable line

be drawn between a family
and their butler.

Therefore, it is necessary

for the operation
of a household

that you address me
as Geoffrey

and I in turn address you

by your proper title.
Master William.

Who are you,
Robo-butler, man?

Come with me,
Master William.

Yo, yo, G-G-G, let me rap
to you for a second, man.

All this Master William stuff,
man?

I'm not down with that, man,
make it sound like

we're back
on the plantation, we like..

"Massah William!
Massah William!"

Let's come up with something
better you could call me.

- What would you prefer?
- Check this.

His Royal Freshness..
That's dope.

Master William,
walk this way.

No.

- Willie!
- Hey, Aunt Viv!

- Sweetie, hi.
- How you doing?

[laughs]

Oh, my goodness.
Let me look at you.

Turn around, honey,
the last time we saw you

you were this
funny little boy.

Now look at you.

Oh, my goodness.
You are a man.

Well, that was the plan.

It is amazing.
You certainly have grown, Will.

Well, we all have.

Did you enjoy the trip?

Oh, yo, the plane ride
was stupid all over.

Excuse me?

No, I'm sayin',
the plane was dope--

Excuse me?

No, stupid, dope..

Oh, no, that-that doesn't
mean what you..

Um, how would he say..

The flight was
really neat, yeah.

Geoffrey, would you take Will
to his room, please

and help him get settled in?

- Yes, madam.
- Nice seeing you.

Master William.

You got to love
this guy, right?

Did you see
the way he was dressed?

- What's wrong with it?
- You hear that language?

'Oh. We used slang
when we were kids.'

Do you remember
our first date?

You took one look at me
and you said

"Vivian, that
is a bad dress."

Now, you could have
just said it was a good dress.

I could have if I liked it.

Actually, it was a bad dress.

That's stupid. Now, take it for
whatever meaning you want.

- He's got you doing it.
- Oh, Philip.

Cut him some slack, please.
He's my nephew.

And I would just appreciate it
if you would

try to understand him.

Hi, mom.
Hi, dad.

- Hi, sweetie pie. Hi.
- Hi, Ashley.

Yo, this place is huge, man.

Next time, I go to my room,
I'mma take some bread crumbs.

[chuckles]

Will, this is Ashley.

Hey, hi, my little
Scottish cousin.

Pleased to make
your acquaintance.

I'm your humble servant.

- He's cute.
- I know he is.

Well, I'm going to take
a swim before dinner.

Good luck, mom.
The pool heater's broken.

Don't you just hate it
when that happens?

Oh, yes.
That is my pet peeve.

- You got your own pool in here?
- Uh-hmm.

And a tennis court too.

Yo, this is better
than "Love Boat."

This boy going to be
maxing and relaxing.

No, no, no. Hold on.
Just a minute, son. No, no, no.

We promised your mother that
you're here to work hard

straighten out, and learn some
good old-fashioned

American values.

Dad, I need $300.

Hilary, your cousin
Will is here.

Hi.
Dad, I need $300.

That's a lot of money,
Hilary. What for?

[exhales]

I need a new hat.

- For what?
- Probably her head.

Okay, like, I'm going on the
Save The Ozone Celebrity Bus

next Saturday, it's gonna be
Bruce Willis and Demi

Rob Lowe,
Emilio Estevez

or Charlie Sheen.
I can't remember which.

We're gonna take the bus
all over town

to protest air pollution

and then we're gonna motor
to the beach

and have a big bonfire.

What?

I'm not an expert or anything,
but don't you think

driving a big ol' bus around
town, and then having a bonfire

sorta adding to the
problem of pollution?

What do you think, huh?

Look, if this
weren't a good idea

I really, really don't think
Ally Sheedy would be involved.

♪ Back to life ♪

♪ Back to reality ♪

♪ Back to life ♪

♪ Back to reality ♪

♪ Back to the here
and now and then ♪

♪ Show me how ♪

♪ Decide what
you want in me ♪

♪ Tell me maybe I-- ♪

Hey, look who's here, Benson.

This is for you.

Oh, but I didn't
get you anything.

Your uncle has invited
several of the partners

from his law firm to dinner.

At the time of the invitation

he did not realize you'd be
descending upon him today.

And regrettably,
it was too late to cancel.

Yo, are we having a party?

Oh, so we're going to get
stupid, right?

For some of us,
that will require

very little effort indeed.

[gasps]
Miss Ashley.

That will be all, Geoffrey.

[both chuckle]

That's all you got to say
to get rid of him?

I've been racking my brain.

Uh, this is for you.

Oh, thank you, Ashley.

Oh, this is nice.
You're very talented.

Well, I'm glad
I'm good at something.

Huh?

I tried out
for school chorus today

but I didn't get in.

How come?

Well, when I auditioned
for Mrs. Burkley

I couldn't remember
all the words to the song.

The part I remembered
was fantastic.

I'm sure it was.
I bet you're def.

That's what she said.

No, not-not deaf deaf.
D-E-F.

It's, that's just slang.

Means terrific, good,
you know.

Oh, well, thank you.

You should try
being a rapper.

When you're rapping
you mess up the words

and make up some new ones
right there on the spot.

So let's-let's try this,
I'll sing one line

and you make up a line
to rhyme it.

- Okay.
- Alright. Let's see. Alright.

♪ You didn't get into
Miss Burkley's chorus.. ♪♪

I'm thinking, alright?

Alright.
We got all day.

- Okay, I got it.
- Alright, here we go.

♪ You didn't get in
to Miss Burkley's chorus ♪

♪ I'd like to hit her
in the head ♪

♪ With Roget's thesaurus ♪

♪ Don't need no choir
when you're a rapper ♪

♪ Gonna hunt Miss Burkley down
and zap her ♪

♪ Got this whole town
of Bel-Air buzzin' ♪

♪ Get a load of me
and my rappin' cousin ♪♪

Yeah, yeah.

Ashley, honey,
why don't you go downstairs

and get ready for dinner.

- Okay, daddy. Bye, Will.
- Check you later, Ash.

Look who's here, Will.

Hey!

Who is he?

It's your cousin Carlton.
Don't you remember?

When you two were little, people
used to think you were twins.

You looked exactly alike.

Oh. Well, I guess some things
never change, huh?

- How's it going there, Will?
- Yeah, it's going alright, man.

Ahh. Malcolm X.

Yeah, he's sort of my hero.

Well, he was a great man.

I don't know if I'd
call him my hero exactly.

Oh, really?
Who are your heroes?

Well, my dad.

And Bryant Gumbel.
He's darn good.

Oh, my, yes!

I see they brought
your tuxedo.

Tell me something, Will.

Have you ever attended
a formal dinner before?

Well, you know,
other than that thing

at Buckingham Palace, no.

Hmm. Yeah, okay.

The important thing
to remember is to just relax

enjoy yourself,
and when in doubt

do whatever Carlton's doing.

You got it, man.

Okay, then
I'll see you at dinner.

That's a really
neat tux, isn't it, Will?

Oh, yes. It's definitely
the cat's meow.

Wait till we come downstairs
in those tuxes.

People may not think
we're twins

but I bet they'll think
we're brothers.

You know, I don't think
you have to worry about

anybody mistaking
you for a brother.

Touche.

This is going to be great.
Your first formal dinner.

And tomorrow,
I'll introduce you to the gang.

Maybe we'll play
a set of tennis or two.

Oh, yes. This is
going to be wild.

Aah!

[instrumental music]

- Where is he?
- He's upstairs changing.

Not Will.
President Reagan.

- You didn't?
- What do you mean I didn't?

- You invited him again.
- Why not? He's our neighbor.

Philip, he's turned down
the last 16 invitations.

When are you gonna take a hint?

Maybe I should
call his house.

Philip, don't,
I don't want him here.

- Why not?
- Because he'll bring her.

Anyway, Bruce and Demi and I
all feel

that the ozone layer
must be protected.

I mean, every square foot
of rain forest that's cut down

brings us just one step closer
to global warming.

We have to learn to protect
the earth

not just for ourselves
and not just for our children

but for the future
of all mankind.

Oh, I had no idea it was
such a serious problem.

I-I really commend you
for getting involved

in such a good cause.

Thanks. It's my passion.

Where can I send
a donation?

[scoffs]
I don't know.

[instrumental music]

Oh, my God!

Philip, Philip, don't make
a big thing out of it.

If this is how
he feels comfortable.

It's not killing anybody.

Philip, aren't you going
to introduce Will?

Introduce him.

Well, Steve, David, Henry

this is Will,
my nephew by marriage.

Will, these are my partners

in the law firm
of Furth, Wynn, and Meyer.

Hey, Earth, Wind, and Fire!

When's your next album
coming out?

Uh, Will is going to go to
Bel-Air academy with Carlton.

Oh! Good for you, Will.

I used to fence at Bel-Air.

Really? How much you think we
can get for that stereo?

Oh, these, these hors d'oeuvres
look tempting.

Hey, don't mind if I do.

How could you do that?

It's all in the tongue.
Show you later.

[indistinct chatter]

[glass clinks]

[imitating drum machine]

Will! There are other people
at this table.

Oh. You're right.

Any requests?

Sweetie, would you
say grace, please?

Yes, mommy.
Ahem!

♪ Hey there Lord
my name is Ashley Banks ♪

♪ My family and friends want to
give you some thanks ♪

♪ So before this dinner's
all swallowed and chewed ♪

♪ Thank you God
for this stupid food ♪♪

[instrumental "Nobody Knows
The Troubles I've Seen]

Hey, Geoffrey, home butler!

I'm glad to see you, man.

It is a special thrill
for me as well.

Yo, check this out, I'm gon' be
down here for a little while.

Why don't you hop on in the
kitchen and get me some cocoa?

Master William, while it is
my natural inclination

to accede to
your every demand

I officially go
off duty at 9:00 p.m.

And if you care to
look at your watch

you will note
the long hand is on 12

and the short hand is on nine.

It is 9 o'clock,
Master William.

And do you know
what that means?

"Masterpiece Theatre" is on.

Sir, do you require
anything further of me?

- No, Geoffrey.
- Then I shall retire.

Man, he took that hard.

- I want to talk to you.
- About what?

You know, from the minute
you walked in that door

you've been a one-man wrecking
crew trying to tear down

what's taken a lot
of hard work to build up

skewering everything with
your flippant shenanigans!

Hey, man, I-I was with you
up till skewering.

You know what
I'm talking about.

You deliberately tried
to embarrass me tonight

and I don't get it,
your aunt and I went through

a lot of trouble
to bring you out here.

And this is the thanks we get?

Man, I ain't asked to come here.

Everybody's talking about
shipping me off

and dressing me up,
and changing me

into something
that I don't want to be.

Nobody wants to change you.

You told me yourself
I got to straighten out

and "When in doubt,
act as Carlton acts."

Man, I don't wanna
be like Carlton.

I-I mean, I'm a joker.
I play around. I have fun.

Umm-hmm, being a joker is
what's gotten you into trouble.

You may think it's cool to be
on the streets when you're 17

but when you're my age,
it's a waste.

Yo, I can't think
that far ahead.

That's your problem.

You can't take
anything seriously.

Look, man, I don't have
the problem, alright

you have the problem.

Alright, I remind you
of where you came from

and what you used to be, now I
don't know somewhere between

Princeton or the office,
you got soft.

You forgot who you are
and where you came from.

You think you're so wise.

Look at me
when I'm talking to you.

Let me tell you
something, son.

I grew up on the streets
just like you.

I encountered bigotry
you could not imagine.

Now, you have a nice poster
of Malcolm X on your wall.

I heard the brother speak.

I read every word he wrote.

Believe me.
I know where I come from.

You actually heard
Malcolm speak, man?

That's right, so before
you criticize somebody

you find out
what he's all about.

I'll take care of you in the
morning. I'm going to bed.

Oh, hold up, I can't tell
my side of the story?

No, you can't tell
your side of the story.

I know what
you're all about.

Believe me,
the very thought of it

makes me very, very tired.

Goodnight.

[instrumental
Chopin's Barcarolle]

[knock on door]

(Will)
'Ash?'

Ash.

[gasps]
Will!

[chuckles]
Ladies and gentlemen,

my fly girl, Ashley Banks.

Would you teach me
how to dance?

Well, yeah.
Not in here.

Even I'll lose my rhythm
in this room.

Okay.

Hey, so, um, could you
do me a favor?

Sure.

I seem to be missing
a walkman, you know

so if it like
shows up anywhere

like, I don't know,
on your head

maybe just, you know

maybe you could
get that to me.

Sorry. Dad won't
let me get one.

How come?

He says he wants to
hear everything

I'm listening to, you know,
to make sure it's not bad.

Well, what record does
he think's good?

He really, really likes
"The Care Bears."

Oh.

Look, Ash,
from time to time

your father's going
to say or do things

that may seem irrational
or hard for you to understand.

You know, it's not because
he's mean or a bad guy

or it's not that he doesn't
care about you.

It's that
he's from Mars, Ashley.

[both chuckle]

- I got to get washed up.
- Me, too.

I'm really glad
you're living here, Will.

Oh, thanks, Ash.

You're like the big brother
I never had.

Oh, what, what are you talking
about? You got Carl..

You're right.
I see your point.

How many bathrooms
you got in this place?

Four and a half.

A half bath?
Now, how does that work?

It doesn't have everything
a full bathroom has.

Oh, well, I think you better
show me a full bathroom.

I don't want
to take no chances.

[chuckles]

♪ Some people seem to think
they've heard enough ♪

♪ Of silly love songs ♪

♪ I look around me
and I see it isn't so ♪

♪ Oh no ♪♪

Next bathroom.

(Hilary)
'Can't a person
gargle in peace?'

Uh, Hilary, are you gonna
be in there for long

or is this just
like a pit stop?

(Hilary)
'Stop hounding me.'

'I'm trying to take
off my makeup.'

'Now go away.'

Okay, goodnight, Hilary.
Shh!

[stomping feet]

I knew it!

[theme music]

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪♪