The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (1990–1996): Season 1, Episode 15 - Deck the Halls - full transcript

And then, came the Third Day
of Christmas..

...and still no one had
made a present for Santa.

Whom shall I ask to help me,
boys and girls?

Ooh, ooh, ooh!
I know, I know!

Ask the reindeer
on your left hand.

I'd love to help

but I have
my hooves full as it is.

[laughing]

I get it.
His hooves are full.

He don't have no hands.
I get it.

[laughs]



Hey, G, I did not
see that comin', man.

Hey, this is dope, right, Ash?

- Ashley!
- I'm awake.

I don't know why I bother.

It's impossible to compete
with tawdry entertainment

like MTV, Nintendo..

...the new children
on the block.

Well, thanks a lot, Ash.

Now I'll never know
how the story ends.

Pardon me for caring,
but I really wanted to know

what Santa got for Christmas.

He doesn't get
an actual gift, Will.

He gets the love of all the
little children in the world.

Really? What a gyp.



Oh, come on, Will,
everyone knows

there's no Santa Claus.

Wait a minute,
there is no Milli Vanilli..

...but there definitely
is a Santa Claus.

[theme song]

♪ Now this is a story all about
how ♪

♪ My life got flipped-turned
upside down ♪

♪ And I'd like
to take a minute ♪

♪ Just sit right there
I'll tell you ♪

♪ How I became the prince
of a town called Bel-Air ♪

♪ In West Philadelphia
born and raised ♪

♪ On the playground was where
I spent most of my days ♪

♪ Chillin' out
maxin' relaxin' all cool ♪

♪ And all shootin' some b-ball
outside of the school ♪

♪ When a couple of guys
who were up to no good ♪

♪ Started makin' trouble
in my neighborhood ♪

♪ I got in one little fight
and my mom got scared and said ♪

♪ You're moving with your auntie
and uncle in Bel-Air ♪

♪ I whistled for a cab
and when it came near ♪

♪ The license plate said Fresh
and it had dice in the mirror ♪

♪ If anything I can say
that this cab was rare ♪

♪ But I thought
nah forget it ♪

♪ Yo homes to Bel-Air ♪

♪ I pulled up to a house
about seven or eight ♪

♪ And I yelled to the cabby
yo homes smell you later ♪

♪ I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there ♪

♪ To sit on my throne
as the Prince of Bel-Air ♪

[instrumental music]

[upbeat music]

Okay, Ash, let's write
our letters to Santa Claus.

- Will.
- Hey, look, here.

You can help me with my list.

How do you spell
"Vanessa Williams?"

Will, don't you have
anything better to do

with Christmas vacation
than writing a silly letter?

Well, what're you gonna do
with your vacation?

Are you gonna play
with your friends?

I wish I had someone
to play with

but every year my friends
all go out of town

with their families,
and I'm stuck here all
alone.

Ashley, you can
still do somethin'

to have fun while you're here.

I'm going to!

I've decided
to learn a new word every
day.

Ashley, that'sboring.

Really?
I think it's very autodidactic.

Christmas vacation
is finally here.

God help me,
I do love it so.

I thought
you liked school, Carlton.

Ash, I think Bel-Air Academy

is one of the best schools
in the country.

Its academics are excellent. Its
sports program is outstanding.

And the faculty is first-rate.

But round about December 10,
it all starts to get

a little old,
know what I mean?

Carl, we got a problem.

Your sister, ten years old

and doesn't know
the meaning of Christmas.

I know the meaning
of undulate.

I don't know where you're going
with this Christmas thing, Will

but I've got bigger fish to fry.

I've gotta raise
600 more dollars

for my Glee Club ski trip.

Give you a dollar
if you shave your head.

[chuckles]

I've booked the Alligaroos
to sing

at a bunch of Christmas parties.

So, if we make enough money,
on December 26

we'll all be..

Imitatin' Jerry Lewis?

I've got to rehearse now.

Yo guys,
let's use this room.

Alright, well, let's start with
our opening number, alright?

Five, six..
A five, six, seven, and..

♪ I saw mommy kissing ♪

♪ Santa Claus ♪

♪ Underneath ♪

♪ The mistletoe last night ♪

♪ She didn't hear me creep ♪
♪ Mm-mm ♪

♪ Down the stairs
to have a peek ♪

♪ Mm-mm ♪
♪ She thought that I.. ♪♪

Hold it! What the bloody hell
kind of song is that?

What do you mean?

A little kid sees his mom

tongue-wrestlin'
with Santa Claus?

Will, it's really his father
dressed up like Santa Claus.

Oh.. Well,
why'd he dress up like..

Oh! Oh, oh, I get it.

I dress up
like Santa Claus.

You dress up
like the Easter Bunny.

That makes me sick.

We're trying to put together
a musical program

for Jonathan's parents'
party tonight.

Jonathan's stepfather
is a record producer.

And he asked
that we not do the same old

tired Christmas carols.

Here's our program.

Wait a minute.

"You don't bring me flowers.

"People who need people.

The way we were."

Who gonna come down the chimney,
Barbra Streisand?

You've been
to my parents' parties?

[upbeat music]

(Hilary)
'Okay, that would be
fantastic. Alright.'

Also, look, I wanna send a box

of the fancy
chocolate-covered pretzels

to a Mr. Patrick Swayze.

Right. And the card
should read, "Pat, saw these

"and immediately thought of you.

Love, Hilary. XXX."

Okay, now, send the same
thing
to Kevin Costner

Michelle Pfeiffer, and
Sting.

- Huh.
- Great. Thanks.

[sighs]
Well, that takes care
of the A-list.

Now, should I send
a box of pears

or the meat thermometer
to Steve Guttenberg?

Hilary, I'd hate
to inject some reality

into these proceedings

but who you tryin' to fool,
baby?

- What do you mean?
- Uh..

Hilary, you always walk
around here frontin'

like you know
all these famous people.

You don't know nobody.

[scoffs]

God, Will, you are so jaded
and skeptical.

You remind me so much
of Judd Nelson.

Philip, we're spending
an hour at your office party

and then we're coming home.
I have too many papers to grade.

Okay, okay,
but first things first.

Do you remember the names
of all my partners' wives?

- Yes.
- Okay.

Who is, um,
George Meyer's wife?

- Eunice.
- Enh!

That was last year.
The new wife's name is Kelly.

Kelly?
Walter's secretary?

- Mm-hm.
- Mm.

Now, who is, um,
Jack Fitzgerald's wife?

- Doris.
- The correct answer is Heather.

Formerly,
the muffin-cart girl.

Wait a minute.

How many new wives
are gonna be at this party?

Well, let's just
put it this way, Vivian.

You're the only repeat.

Hey, hold up. Hey, you guys
going to a Christmas party?

Well, it's just
an office Christmas party.

Man, I remember our
Christmas
parties back in Philly.

[chuckles]
The building would be filled
with the sounds of
Christmas.

You know, jingle bells,
and singin' and laughin'.

Then at the end of the
evening
the traditional police
sirens.

[grunts]
Those were the days.

Well, I'll just go bring
the car around.

Uh, hold up, Aunt Viv.

Does this neighborhood do
anything special for Christmas?

Not really. Well, last year,
President Reagan's

Secret Service agents
dressed up as Santa Claus

and warned everyone
to keep their distance.

That was kind of festive.

Uh, come on, Aunt Viv,
this is terrible, I mean

people in Bel-Air don't even
know how to celebrate Christmas.

- I-I'm worried about Ashley.
- What do you mean?

I mean, growin' up in Bel-Air
she never had a real Christmas.

I mean, there's no sledding.

T-t-there's no caroling.

You know,
t-there's no winos makin'

snow angels
on the front lawn.

A-a-and y'all don't even
decorate the livin' room.

Yes, we do.
We've already started.

The poinsettias,
the red candles.

And here's the beautiful
crystal nativity

your uncle gave me
for Christmas years ago.

Where the little baby Jesus at?

Right there.

That little disk?

There are more
decorations coming.

A wonderful shop
in Beverly Hills

comes to the house,
sets up the tree

and decorates it for us.

Do they open your present and
wear your sweaters for you too?

Look, if you wanna show
Ashley a little more

of the Christmas spirit,
why don'tyougo to the shop

pick up the decorations,
and then you and Ashley

can decorate it yourself.
Okay?

- Well, alright, now.
- Ha-ha-ha.

Ashley!

Hey, uh, this is
gonna be hype, Aunt Viv.

Hey, you have fun at the office
Christmas party, too.

Thanks, honey,
I'm looking forward to meeting

all the new wives.

I hope they bring
their Barbie dolls.

Will, were you vociferating
for me?

I gotta get back
to you on that. Um..

But anyway, y-you wanna go
into Beverly Hills with me

and pick up the Christmas
decorations?

Okay.

We can sing Christmas songs
all the way there.

Great.
Here's one Carlton taught
me.

♪ Scattered pictures ♪

♪ Of the smiles
we left behind ♪♪

[upbeat music]

Uh, hi.

- Merry Christmas.
- Mm-hm.

Aren't these figures
outstanding?

They're beyond outstanding.
They're deeply beyond.

They're hand-carved.
We import them from Poland.

We're looking for some
Christmas decorations.

Let me show you something
that we're doing right now

that's deeply happening.

It's a Caribbean Christmas tree.

It's very big in London.
It's beyond big.

It's all about
veryhotoranges

and very intense yellows.

I feel it's a very vibrant tree

and I feel
it's a very important tree.

Well, we're just picking up
the decorations

for my mother, Mrs. Banks.

Yeah.

She phoned and she told me

that you'd be putting them up
yourselves

this year, which is fine.

You'll save yourself a little
money, which is a good thing

because the '90s are going
to be all about..

...restraint.

Is, uh, this the wreath
for the door?

Yeah, let's talk about that

wreath for a moment,
if you will.

Last year, I was so deeply
into the distant salmons

and the sandy beiges

but this year I went more
with the muted roses with these

little arrogant touches
of celadon and periwinkle.

I think it worked out
quite nice.

Um, let's try something
wild here, you know?

Do you have anything
red or green?

Or, I don't know, maybe
something like a Santa
Claus?

It's been done.

Excuse us.

Ashley,
these decorations are wack.

Look, we're gonna save
Aunt Viv a lot of money

and buy 'em somewhere else,
alright?

- Let's go.
- Excuse me?

You forgot your box
of decorations.

Uh, no, well, you see

we're going to do
our own decoration this year.

It's gonna be about
arrogant little elves

and rambunctious reindeer,
you know?

And-and little men in red suits.

I think it will be deeply,
deeply dope.

[upbeat music]

We should've left that stupid
office party an hour earlier.

I still have 30 papers to grade.

Look, we're both very busy
but we can't work in the
car.

So, why don't we just
take this time to relax a
bit?

You're right.

Oh, look how nicely
they've decorated

the house on the corner.

Mm. Those white lights
on the tree outside.

Mm, just the right touch
of lights.

A little goes a long way,
you know?

God, I used to love
Christmas when I was little.

Now it just rushes by
in one big blur.

Mm. Well,
Christmas is more for kids.

You know,
even though we're busy

I think we should do
something nice for Will.

Must be hard for him spending
Christmas in a strange place.

Ah, yeah, you're right,
sweetheart.

We'll do something nice for him.

[engine rumbling]

[instrumental music]

♪ Santa Claus
is coming to town ♪

♪ Santa Claus
is coming to town ♪

[instrumental music]

♪ Out of all the reindeer ♪

♪ You know you're
the mastermind ♪

Surprise!

- Ashley, sweetie.
- Where's Will?

- Aren't you surprised, mommy?
- Where is Will?

I had so much fun today
with Will, you can't believe it.

Surprise!

Oh, look, it's Will.

Will, what happened
at the Christmas shop?

Oh, Aunt Viv, they were tryin'
to rip you off.

You know, so, me and Ashley, we
went down to the Pic 'n' Grab.

[telephone ringing]

Hello?

Yes, this is Philip Banks.

Ah, you saw our lights.

The blinking Frosty the Snowman
is riling your attack dogs.

Oh. That's wonderful.
Our neighbors are furious.

We're gonna have to take
these lights down.

Hey, U-Uncle Phil, I'm..

I bet there's a lot
of neighbors

that love those decorations.

I mean, certainly anyone
who possesses good taste.

[telephone ringing]

Banks' residence.
Have a holly, jolly Christmas.

Well, brother, you got
a problem with my lights?

Why don't you come tell me
that to my face then?

Hey, we can do whatever
you wanna do.

It's your world, squirrel.
I'm just trying to get a nut.

Wha.. What?
Oh, we can do this.

Well, that was clever, Trevor.

Ain't no thing
but a chicken wing.

Yeah, alright.

Madam, sir.

A group of your neighbors have
assembled on the front lawn.

They are looking
at your Christmas decorations

and growing enraged.

They are threatening
to burn Frosty in effigy.

Well, we'd better get out there.

Geoffrey, thanks for helping us
put up those

Christmas decorations.

Yeah, man,
I'd have never had the guts

to climb up on that roof
with that reindeer

strapped to my back.

Anything in the name
of Christmas, Master
William.

Your aunt and uncle did not
suspect anything, did they?

- No, no!
- Still..

I think it's best
we avoid eye contact

for the rest of the evening.

Ten-four.

[upbeat music]

[indistinct chatter]

Philip, should I talk to them,
or do you want to?

No, I'll give it a try.

- Dad, can I offer a suggestion?
- Sure.

Well, they're our neighbors
and they're upset

and it's up to us
to make sure

that this doesn't
ruin their Christmas.

There's only one way to do that.

I think we should
write a few checks.

Sit down, Carlton.

As you wish, father.

I'm just gonna have to
tell them we'll take those

decorations down
as soon as we can.

Well, can't we at least
leave some of them up?

Oh, I don't know.
Maybe we can reach a compromise.

Uh, everybody..

...now in keeping with the,
uh, spirit of the season

I think we can, uh,
discuss this rationally.

Property values
in this neighborhood

must be vigorously protected.

Isn't that right, Mr. Uesato?

I'm afraid potential buyers
aren't too crazy

about the Kmart look.

And you know, dear,
there are wonderful services

that will come and decorate
your house for you.

Yes, I know, but this year,
our daughter and nephew decided

to do the decorating
themselves.

Oh, I see.

Are they very angry
with you over something?

No. Why?

Well, this just reminds me
of the summer

my daughter Amanda turned 15

and tried to burn
our house down.

Master William.

Uh, there is a gentleman
in the foyer who claims

you had some harsh words
with him on the phone.

Oh, yeah? Word. Word.
That chump is here? Send him in.

Will, fighting
doesn't solve anything.

No, no, no, no, Aunt Viv.
Ain't gonna be no fight.

I can tell by the sound of
this guy's voice on the phone

I could take him in a minute.

Mr. Evander Holyfield.

The undisputed Heavyweight
Champion of the World.

- Nice champion.
- I recognize your voice.

You the chump I talked to
on the telephone.

Phone? I ain't talked
to you on no phone.

- Evander!
- Hilary.

You know her?

Where were you last night
at Bruce Willis' party?

Ah! I'm not speaking to Bruce.

I'll tell you about it later.

Anyway, what are you doing here?

I didn't know
you lived here, uh..

Frankly, I saw the lights

and I thought they was..

...looked tacky.

[indistinct chatter]

Look! Shh!

I didn't mean for everybody
to get so upset.

You might as well
just...take all the lights down.

- Ashley.
- It's okay, dad.

[indistinct chatter]

Ashley.

Now, come on.
T-the house looks dope.

You know,
who cares what they think?

Bet you Santa thinks
it's nice.

Look, I know you're trying
to get me

into the Christmas spirit

but I'm just not into it.

All those people
are in a bad mood..

...none of my friends
around to play with.

I'm gonna go up to my room

learn some new word
and wait until New Year's.

[doorbell chimes]

♪ Jingle bells
jingle bells ♪

♪ Jingle all the way ♪

♪ Oh what fun
it is to ride ♪

♪ In a one-horse
open sleigh hey ♪

♪ Jingle bells
jingle bells ♪

♪ Jingle all the way ♪

♪ Oh what fun
it is to ride ♪

♪ In a one-horse
open sleigh ♪♪

Oh. Oh, wow!

[stammers]
Hey, that was great.

Uh, who are you guys?

- Hi, I-I'm Mark Driscoll. Uh..
- How you doin'?

Every year, I take
the neighborhood kids around

to look at the Christmas lights

and they like to choose
one house

as the best-decorated

then sing Christmas carols

to the people who live there.

And this year, you guys won.

We drove all over.

Yeah, and usually this
neighborhood is a complete dud.

[Will chuckles]

We weren't even
gonna come here

until Jimmy saw the house
from the freeway.

Hey. Well, I'll tell you what.

We got a lot of cookies
and hot chocolate inside.

- You guys come on in.
- Yay!

Okay, let's go.

- Thanks. Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.

- Merry Christmas.
- Hi.

Well, Ashley,
I seem to remember you
sayin'

you wanted some friends
and...there they are.

Still don't believe that
there's a Santa Claus?

Well, I'm glad we cleared up
this little matter.

I assume the lights will
be down by tomorrow.

Wait. I've changed my mind.

I want the lights to stay up.

Fight the power, Ashley.

I love them.
They're beautiful.

And I'm not the only one
who thinks so.

Will thinks so, too.
And so do all these kids.

And besides, it's Christmas.

And when I look at the lights
and the reindeer

and the decorations,
it makes me feel very..

...ebullient.

Yeah, me too!

Ashley's right. What are we
arguing about here?

When we were kids,
we used to all love
Christmas.

And now we take things
too seriously.

Personally, I think the
lights
are, uh, kind of neat.

Ha-ha! I guess they're really
not hurting anybody.

And the kids really like them.

We shouldn't be fighting.
It's so barbaric.

Then we're all agreed?

I think those decorations
are totally inappropriate

for a home in Bel-Air.

Madam, another
of your neighbors has arrived.

Oh, great.
That's all we need.

Excuse me.

Hello, everybody.

Hi, there, Hilary.

Thanks for the pretzels.

I'm.. I'm, I'm sorry
to bother you, neighbor.

I.. I just want to say that I..

Yes, I greatly admire your

your wonderful
Christmas decorations.

And I just wanted to say
that

you know because Nancy won't let
me do anything fun to our house.

Well, thank you,
Mr. President.

As a matter of fact,
a few of our neighbors came by

to tell us about our lights,
too.

What were you saying, Mr. Grey?

Well, I was just saying they
were...absolutely magnificent--

That's what I think. Yes.

Uh, now, you know, this
is what Christmas is all about.

Now comes the magic moment.

Come on, everybody gather
around the TV.

- Will, what are you doing?
- Yes, yes.

This is one of my
Christmas traditions.

You know, I like
to sit and watch out

for this certain commercial.

- A commercial?
- Yeah.

You know, you know,
the one where it's all snowy

and a little jolly Santa
is ridin' around

on a Norelco shaver?

Oh, I love that commercial.

Oh, a-and that Christmas beer
commercial with the horses

with the furry feet are pullin'
the sleigh through the snow.

- Yeah.
- Yeah!

And I always loved
that commercial

where the little covered
wagon
is being chased

by the dog
across the kitchen floor.

Hey, he's on the shaver!

(in unison)
Aw!

♪ Santa Claus
is coming to town ♪

[theme music]