The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (1990–1996): Season 1, Episode 16 - The Lucky Charm - full transcript

[upbeat music]

♪ H-E helium
L-I lithium ♪

♪ N-A sodium
Z-N zinc ♪♪

[music stops]

Uncle Phil, please.

Do you mind
turning the music back on?

I'm tryin' to study.

Look, I'm expecting
a very important client.

We have a golfing date,
and I'd appreciate it

if you could study
somewhere else.

Oh, oh, okay, I get it.
You're trying to impress him.



That's right.

You might wanna
change them pants.

- Good morning, sweetie.
- Hey, Aunt Viv.

What time is Jameson
getting here, Philip?

What are you wearing,
Vivian?

- Excuse me?
- That red blouse.

That's Jameson's
bad luck color.

Well, this happens to be
my favorite blouse

so he can just go find himself
another bad luck color.

May-maybe he can pick one
out of Uncle Phil's pants.

Vivian, please change.

I know
he's a little superstitious

but his big account
helps to pay our little bills.

All set for a great game
of golf, dad.



Yo, Carlton,
what is it, uh

recess at the clown convention?

That's right,
and by the way, Will

who cut your hair,
Ray Charles?

I've been saving
that one for a week.

Don't even try to top it.

[doorbell rings]

That must be Jameson.

Vivian, humor him.

Mr. Jameson Whitworth.

- Jameson, how are you?
- Fine.

Vivian, it's lovely
to see you again.

And it's nice seeing you,
Jameson.

- Carlton.
- How are you, Mr. Whitworth?

Not great, my caddy
called me on the car phone

a few minutes ago and canceled.

I've learned my lesson,
never trust a Leo.

Ain't that the truth?

Yo, man, back in Philly, I knew
this guy named Leo Brantley.

Man, dude tried to steal
my lucky drawers.

You have a pair
of lucky drawers?

Well, yeah.

So do I.

Well, this is all
very interesting.

Uh, Carlton, you can caddy
for both of us.

- Shall we go, gentlemen?
- Wait a second, Philip.

I have a very good
feeling about this.

How would you like
to be my caddy?

Yo, man, I ain't down with
carryin' nobody's golf clubs.

It's 50 bucks plus tip.

Fore!

[theme song]

♪ Now this is a story ♪

♪ All about how
my life got flipped ♪

♪ Turned upside down ♪

♪ And I'd like to take a minute
just sit right there ♪

♪ I'll tell you
how I became the prince ♪

♪ Of a town called Bel-Air ♪

♪ In West Philadelphia
born and raised ♪

♪ On the playground is where
I spent most of my days ♪

♪ Chillin' out maxin'
relaxin' all cool and all ♪

♪ Shootin' some B-ball
outside of the school ♪

♪ When a couple of guys
who were up to no good ♪

♪ Started makin' trouble
in my neighborhood ♪

♪ I got in one little fight ♪

♪ And my mom got scared
and said ♪

♪ You're moving with your auntie
and uncle in Bel-Air ♪

♪ I whistled for a cab
and when it came near ♪

♪ The license plate
said fresh ♪

♪ And it had dice
in the mirror ♪

♪ If anything I can say
that this cab was rare ♪

♪ But I thought
nah forget it ♪

♪ Yo homes to Bel-Air ♪

♪ I pulled up to a house
about seven or eight ♪

♪ And I yelled to the cabbie ♪

♪ Yo homes smell you later ♪

♪ I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there ♪

♪ To sit on my throne
as the prince of Bel-Air ♪

[instrumental music]

This is the worst round of golf
I've ever played.

Well, the green's
a little wet today.

[sighs]

[clears throat]

A-aah!

- That's what's wrong.
- What?

Ah-ha!

A hole in one.

I made a hole in one
the first time in my life!

Some shot, Mr. Whitworth.

Congratulations, Jameson.

Did you see that, Will?

It's because your hat's
turned to the side, man.

- You can see better.
- No, no.

There's more to it than
that.

The-there is?

Jameson, let me buy lunch.

A hole in one
calls for a celebration.

I'll say.

Well, we'll have to
make it quick, Philip.

I've got to get back
to the office.

I'm making a major
investment
in Thornton Pharmaceuticals.

Maybe I'll get lucky again,
huh, Will?

Yo, man, that's wack.

Wack, in what sense of the word?

It's Saturday afternoon, all
you're thinking about is work.

Baby, that's got to be
hurting you with the girlies.

Will, please.

Yo, man, I say
you forget about the office

forget about that stock.

Just max and relax.

Huh?

Kick back
and enjoy yourself, man.

Go home and let your wife know
she's still got it.

You're right.

Doggone it, you're right.

Doggone it, I'm right.

[instrumental music]

Geoffrey, I really think I made
an impression on Mr. Whitworth.

Ah, and was your sucking up
as successful as you'd hoped?

I'll say.

And now I'm gonna apply
for a summer job

with his company.

But, Carlton,
dad's his lawyer.

Isn't that kind of
using a connection?

Well, duh!

I can't believe it, Vivian.

Jameson made a hole in one

and he's really not
a very good golfer.

- What's his handicap, sir?
- Isn't it obvious?

Everybody,
the working girl is home.

How was your day?

I love working
in an art gallery.

I'm learning so much.

I just told my boss

"Teach me.
I'm a blank slate."

At least you're honest.

Well, what exactly
do you do in this job?

Well, this is a very
exclusive
art gallery.

And so they're trying to
maintain a certain
atmosphere.

So, when customers
come in the door

I ignore them.

And if they ask me
about a piece of art

I look right through them.

And if they ask for a price,
I go like this..

[snorts]

...and walk away.

Hilary, it sounds like
they hired you to be a snob.

Well, I guess
they saw something in me.

Mr. Whitworth.

- Hello.
- Jameson, this is a surprise.

Well, actually, Philip,
I'm not here to see you.

I told you
I impressed him, Ashley.

- I'm here to see Will.
- No, sir, my name is Carlton.

I know that.

Uh, I'd like to see Will.

I'll get him.

Vivian, I brought this for you.

- What is it?
- It's a sprig of wolfsbane.

Hang it over your kitchen
door
and all will be well.

Uh, but, Jameson, everything
is fine in our kitchen.

That you know of.

Hey, what'sup, J?

I'll tell you what.

You saved me a lot of money.

- Word?
- On the golf course.

You advised me not to buy
Thornton Pharmaceuticals.

The stock dropped
ten points today.

Well, Jameson, I think
maybe you're reading

a little too much into this.

Yeah, man, I don't know
nothin' about stock.

- It was just luck.
- Precisely.

You're a good luck charm.

I would've lost millions, but
thanks to my yo, homie here..

...I didn't.

Oh, so what you're saying is
thanks to me

you got lucky
twice yesterday.

Three times.

The wife girlie
will be smiling for months.

You have a bright future,
young man.

This is no fair.

There are many forces
at work in the universe, Will.

For example,
the power in numbers.

The four arms
of the Mutable Cross, Virgo.

When the moon is
in the seventh house.

The sixth ray energies,
Saturn to Neptune.

The seventh sun,
born for good luck.

All numbers.

Yeah. Well..

Jameson, why don't
I fix you a drink?

Oh, I don't drink.
I like to keep my mind clear.

I think he's cleared it out
pretty well.

My lucky numbers have
always been three and seven.

Will, when's your birthday?

July 3rd.

What year?

1973.

So you were born on 7-3, 73?

My lucky numbers.

Jameson,
that's just a coincidence.

Coincidence?

I don't think so.

I was born
on August 4th, 1974.

A Leo?

Will, I have an assignment
for you.

I want you to
go through these files.

They're about a company
called Innermark.

I've been analyzing
the data for months

trying to decide
whether or not I should buy it.

Yo, man, you want me
to read all this?

That's not necessary.
Just feel the pages.

Tell me what kind of energy
you get back.

Uh, Jameson,
I have to say

this all sounds
a little, well..

Insane?

Unorthodox.

You have an excellent
brokerage firm

to advise you on investments.

Yo, J, straight up, man. I don't
know nothin' about this stuff.

Will, you don't know
that you know..

...but believe me, you know.

M-man, I don't know.

Exactly.
We'll talk tomorrow.

Philip, Vivian,
have a nice day.

Why is that man
running loose on the streets

without medication?

Well, he's a little eccentric,
Vivian

but he has a brilliant
financial mind.

Oh, he does?

Philip, why don't you
tell Will about Sparky?

I don't think
we need to go into that.

Last year, Jameson was taking

all of his stock advice
from his dog.

That's untrue, Vivian.

He only took tax advice
from Sparky.

Then, last spring

Sparky met with an untimely
run-in with a milk truck

but of course, that didn't stop
Jameson from talking to him.

He, uh, he talks to the
spirit
of a dead dog?

No. No, no, no. No.

He had him stuffed
and put in his office.

Uncle Phil, why do you
humor this guy, man?

The-the planet he's on
ain't even been discovered yet.

He's an important client,
and he's just entrusted you

with a very serious
financial decision.

This has got to be
handled delicately.

Man, what am I supposed to
do?

Okay, tomorrow,
I want you to go down

to Whitworth Capital Investments

find Jameson Whitworth

and tell him that
you're a 17-year-old kid

and you're in no position
to give financial advice.

Exactly.
That's Sparky's job.

[instrumental music]

Your main man is in effect,
Mr. Whitworth.

Thank you, Gladys.
Will, come in.

Hey, what's going on, J?

- Pshh!
- Pshh!

Hey, man, you know,
I just wanted to come so..

[screaming]

Is something wrong, Will?

Uh, nah. Nah.

Um, look, look,
I'm a little pressed for time

so let's just get
right to the point.

Excellent. Alright, Will,
Innermark Industries.

We buy this stock or not?

Well, look, that's what
I came to talk to you about.

I, I don't think
I'm in any position

to give you financial advice.

I'm only 17.

Did you say 17?

This is a sign.

Will, look at this.

This machine gives me
stock quotes.

What price has Innermark
been trading at all day?

Seventeen.

You've done it again, Will.

I'm calling my broker.

Hey, wait. Hey, man,
I really don't think you should.

Miles, buy me one million shares
of Innermark Industries.

Right. Done.

Hey, hey, hey, you just
bought
a million shares of stock

'cause I told you I was 17?

That's right.

Wait, man. This is just
one big coincidence.

I mean, besides,
I'm about to turn 18.

Did you say 18?

No.

Yes, you did.

And look at this, Will.

The stock just went up to 18.

You just made me
a million dollars.

That doesn't mean anything,
Mr. Whitworth.

Will, I can understand

you being frightened
by your powers.

But there are forces at work
in the universe

beyond our understanding.

Don't fight them, Will.

Learn to accept them,
and there will always be

a place for you here.

[instrumental music]

You know, Will's been
gone for hours.

I wonder how his meeting
with Mr. Whitworth is going.

Nothing to worry about, Ashley.

Traffic from Mars
is very heavy this time of day.

I'm home.
Carlton, get the camera.

I want a picture of me
opening my first paycheck.

- Oh!
- Congratulations, baby.

That's wonderful.

I'm so excited.

Mom, daddy, I'm gonna start
paying my own way around here.

And I won't accept no
for an answer.

Well, you still owe me $5
for those magazines you bought.

Ashley, don't be petty.

- All set.
- Well, here goes.

Don't you all
feel like a part of history?

What?

Federal taxes?
This is an outrage.

Didn't President Bush say,
"No new taxes?"

But federal taxes aren't new.

Well, they are to me.

Who is this FICA guy?

Hilary baby, taxes are taken out
of everybody's salary.

They pay for our highways

national defense,
and housing programs.

I thought the government was
supposed to pay for all that.

Okay, I know the solution.

I'm going to demand a raise.

Hilary, you've only
been there a week.

Nobody starts at the top.

[chuckles]

[chuckles]

Yeah, yeah,
lunch on the company yacht?

Oh, yeah,
that sounds great, Jameson.

Uh, let's say you have the limo
pick me up, uh, noon-ish.

[chuckles]
Yeah, alright.

Peace back at you, babe.

Will, I want you to return

all that stuff
before the cops get here.

What are you tripping, man?

Come on, J gave me
all this stuff

as a little thank you gift.

- For what?
- I made him a million dollars.

Well, that may seem
like a lot, Will

but wait till
they take out all the taxes.

Will, how did you make Jameson
a million dollars?

Well, to be honest,
I have no idea.

Well, Jameson seems to think
I'm good luck.

Will, there's no such thing
as good luck or bad luck.

Yes, there is.
I've got bad luck.

You look handsome, Will.
Nice suit.

- Oh, you like it, Ash?
- Uh-huh.

Custom made.
Size 42, extra fly.

You know, when you work
for Whitworth

you get all the fringe benefits.

Does he need a butler?

Just asking.

For a friend.

Will, you don't
really think

you're capable of giving
financial advice, do you?

[scoffs]
Aunt Viv..

...there are forces
at work in this universe

that are beyond
our understanding.

And if these forces
want to give me a limo

a cellular phone,
and an Armani suit

who are we
to argue with them?

Will, I sent you there
to get out of this arrangement

with Jameson, and now
you're in deeper than before.

I know, I-I just feel terrible.

Am I showin' enough cuff?

- What are you doing?
- I'm gonna put an end to this.

(Philip)
'Uh, yes, Philip Banks
for Jameson Whitworth.'

Jameson.

Yes, I've been, uh,
talking to Will here.

And, uh, first of all,
I'd like to say

he's very flattered,
but it's a little risky

having a high school student
give financial advice.

And as your lawyer,
I'd advise you put an end to it.

Oh, sure. You wanna
talk to him yourself?

Okay.

Yo, J.
What up, coolybop?

Really?

Really?

Well, yeah, well, if that's the
way you want it, that's cool.

Alright. Peace.

- Well, what did he say?
- Uncle Phil, you're fired.

[instrumental music]

So is Mr. Whitworth
ready to see us yet?

Well, he's still in there
talking to his homie.

You'll just have to chill.

Alright, we can't afford
to lose Whitworth's account.

We need a game plan.

And I thought
we'd agreed on groveling.

Yes, but I think
we need to straighten out

the order in which we grovel.

I'll go first.

Since my father
founded the law firm

I can make an emotional plea.

And, Philip,
you can remind him

of all our dedicated service
to his company.

- What do I say?
- Nothing.

You're only here because
his lucky number is three.

Of course.

Yo, J, come on, man,
you gotta meet with them.

They're sittin' right outside.

Straight up, pop.

I'm sorry,
but the aura is wack.

What did you say, Sparky?

He's talking?

He hasn't talked in weeks.

What? You think it's a good idea
to have the meeting?

Word?

What's that?
Go ahead with the meeting?

What? Send them in right away.

Well, there you have it.

Sparky says have the meeting.

Well, alright.

It's two against one.

Gladys, send them in,
please.

Jameson, good to see you.

Have a seat.

Will, excuse us, please.

- Sure.
- He stays.

I want him here.
Sparky wants him here.

Okay.

Eh, Jameson

Furth, Wind and Meyer
has represented you

for the past 20 years.

And I think I speak
for all the lawyers in the firm

when I say that
we're dedicated

to continuing
in that capacity.

So? Lawyers are a dime a dozen.

There's some truth in that.

Phi-Philip, you had
an interesting point

you wanted to make,
didn't you?

Yes, Henry.

Uh, Jameson, to elaborate

on what Henry
was saying it, uh..

[telephone rings]

Ahem! Yes?

What?

This is terrible.

- What's the matter?
- That was my broker.

Innermark stock is plummeting.
It's already down ten points.

My God, it's already down
to $6 a share.

It's down to
five, four, three.

Hey, hey, great!
That's your lucky number.

I just lost a fortune.

Will, you owe me $14
million.

Oh, oh. Here's five.

This is serious, man.
Don't you know anything?

No! How many times
do I have to tell you?

How did you tell me
to buy that stock?

You're out of your mind.

Oh, I'm out of my mind?

You're the one that's got Lassie
as your vice president.

You're not lucky.
You're unlucky.

You're a curse.
Get out of my office.

Hey, don't you
talk to him like that.

Excuse me?

It's your fault
he's involved in this

in the first place.

And this isn't the first time
that your craziness

has gotten us
into hot water, Jameson.

Last January on my birthday
when I could've been at home

with my wife and family,
where was I?

Stuck in the office,
buried under paperwork

because Sparky chased a Buick

and you thought that was
his way of trying to tell you

to take over General Motors.

Well, Jameson, I am through
with your craziness

and if that means,
we lose $20 million account

then so be it.

Jameson, I think
that's Philip's way of saying

I'm sorry.

Philip, why didn't you
ever say this before?

- Well, I should have.
- Absolutely.

I had no idea
your birthday was in January.

You're a Capricorn.

My horoscope says a Capricorn
will lead me to prosperity.

Philip, you're just the goat
I've been looking for.

Gentlemen, welcome back.

[instrumental music]

Hey, and the way you stood
up
for me, Uncle Phil

you know, he was all that.

Yeah, well, I didn't like
the way he was treating you.

Well, so what happened next?

Uncle Phil told him
he could take his big account

fold it five ways and stick it
where Sparky can't find it.

Wow, dad, that took guts.

- Mm.
- Well done, sir.

You know, I've always wished
I had the nerve

to tell off my employers.

Well, daddy, you've been
a wonderful example for me.

I mean, how much abuse
can one person take

for the sake of a job?

There are lots of things
about
my boss that really bug me.

And I've been putting up
with him for a whole week.

It's time to take action.

Hilary, I don't want you
to go screaming at your boss.

Can you?

Philip, I am really
proud of you.

Yeah, well,
life is too short to put up

with the Jameson Whitworths
of the world.

Yo, straight up, Uncle Phil.

I can't believe that loon
changed his mind

just 'cause you told him
you were a Capricorn.

Capricorn? Philip,
your birthday's January
30th.

You're an Aquarius.

Vivian, for $20 million account,
I'm a Capricorn.

[theme music]

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪