The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (1990–1996): Season 1, Episode 12 - Talking Turkey - full transcript

"And so the men and women
of Plymouth Colony

"sat at a long table with their
new-found Indian friends

"to celebrate the first
Thanksgiving.

"And at the head of the table,
the leader of the pilgrims

folded his hands,
bound his head and said.."

♪ Oh do me baby ♪

♪ Do the humpty hump
do the humpty hump ♪

♪ Oh dooo doo ♪

♪ Do-o-o-o whoo ♪

And then the village idiot
interrupted the prayer

ruining the feast
for one and all.



Boy, holiday traffic
is starting already.

People are in such a lousy mood.

I learned five new words
on the way home.

- Did you know what they meant?
- I think so, Ashley.

They're accompanied
by very helpful hand
gestures.

Will, I bet you can't wait
till your mom gets here.

Oh, right. Yeah, thanks a lot
for flying her out, Aunt Viv.

Oh, we had to convince her
to accept the ticket.

She never lets us
spend a penny on her.

Apparently that's not
a genetic trait.

Now, for Thanksgiving, do you
wanna try something different

or the traditional turkey?

Mother, I have a big problem
with turkey.

What's wrong with it?



Ashley honey, from the moment

they're hatched to the moment

they're shrink-wrapped

turkeys are raised to be food

and nothing but food.

Hilary sweetheart, I don't think
too many of them had aspirations

to be doctors or lawyers.

[theme song]

♪ Now this is a story
all about how my life ♪

♪ Got flipped turned
upside down and I'd like to ♪

♪ Take a minute just sit right
there I'll tell you ♪

♪ How I became the prince
of a town called Bel-Air ♪

♪ In West Philadelphia
born and raised ♪

♪ On the playground is where
I spent most of my days ♪

♪ Chillin' out maxin'
relaxin' all cool ♪

♪ And all shootin' some b-ball
outside of the school ♪

♪ When a couple of guys
who were up to no good ♪

♪ Started makin' trouble
in my neighborhood ♪

♪ I got in one little fight
and my mom got scared ♪

♪ And said you're movin'
with your auntie ♪

♪ And uncle in Bel-Air ♪

♪ I whistled for a cab
and when it came near ♪

♪ The license plate said Fresh
and it had dice in the mirror ♪

♪ If anything I could say
that this cab was rare ♪

♪ But I thought nah forget it
yo holmes to Bel-Air ♪

♪ I pulled up to a house
about seven or eight ♪

♪ And I yelled to the cabbie
yo holmes smell ya later ♪

♪ Looked at my kingdom
I was finally there ♪

♪ To sit on my throne
as the Prince of Bel-Air ♪

My sister should be here any
minute! Aren't you excited?

Oh, yeah, I can't wait
till she gets out here

and starts taking her
usual shots at me.

Vy's that way
with everybody.

Remember what she said
about my beard?

Oh, you misunderstood her.

She said it made me
look like bigfoot.

Which is ridiculous
because nobody knows

what bigfoot really looks like.

[doorbell rings]

That's her!

Come on.

- Mom!
- Baby!

Goodness gracious!

- Vy!
- Viv! Viv, come on!

Give your big sister a hug!

Look at my boy!
You really have changed.

Yeah, I'm handsome, huh?

- No, you haven't changed. Ha!
- Ha-ha-ha!

I hope he's not eating
y'all out of house and home?

Not at all.

He's certainly not taking
food out of your mouth.

Starting already.
I don't believe it.

That's a good one, mom,
I got to use that one.

No, no, no, you don't
make fun of your uncle.

- That's my job.
- Oh..

Come on, let's go inside.

- Girl, you look wonderful!
- Thank you.

How's everything
at the post office?

Well, they made me
a supervisor.

- Whoo!
- That's wonderful.

Honey, they make everybody at
the post office a supervisor.

You practically
have to eat the mail

not to get promoted.

Aunt Vy!

Oh, my goodness,
aren't you handsome?

And looking less and less
like your daddy every day.

Ouch. Run for cover, dad.

Where's he gonna hide at?

Vy, this is Geoffrey.

Geoffrey,
my sister-in-law Mrs. Smith.

- How do you do?
- I'm fine, thank you.

Uh, mom, check this. Ahem.

Uh, Geoffrey,
take my mom's bags to her room.

Ow! Mom, what did I do?

You can take those bags
yourself.

That man's twice your age

even though
he doesn't look it.

Well, at least take
the heavy one. Now go on.

- But, mom--
- You heard me.

After you,
Master William.

Carlton, go tell your sisters
their aunt is here.

Now, y'all tell me, has Will
been giving you any trouble?

Oh, he's been wonderful,
hasn't he, Philip?

Philip!

Well, let's just say
he takes after you, Vy.

[chuckles]
Okay.

Vy, I was dusting
the albums this morning

and guess what I found.

Certainly not dust.

["Ain't Too Proud To Beg"
by The Temptations]

♪ I know you want to.. ♪♪

The Temptations!

- Girl, I have that album!
- You had it. I borrowed it.

You taught me
to dance to this, remember?

I didn't teach you
to dance like that.

- Move over, girlfriend.
- Uh-oh. Look out, look out.

- Oh!
- Hey!

- Aunt Vy!
- My girls!

- You look fantastic!
- Thank you!

Hey, come on. Dance with us.
Here we go!

- Alright.
- Here you go. That's right.

Right. Just like that.

- What dance is this?
- It's called the swim, Ashley.

It was very popular
in the 1940s.

The 1960s,
and it's not the swim.

- Your daddy know how to swim.
- No..

Come on. Swim for her,
Philip.
Come on!

Uh-oh.
Everybody out of the pool.

♪ Sweet darlin'
please don't leave me girl ♪

♪ Don't you go ♪

♪ Ain't to proud to plead
baby baby ♪

♪ Please don't leave me girl ♪

Alright! One more time.
One more time.

♪ If I have to sleep
on your doorstep.. ♪

Mm-mmm, that cobbler
was delicious!

I swear the person that
invented the elastic waistband

should get the Nobel Prize.

- You know what I mean?
- Don't start.

Hey, mom, you know who
used to make the best
cobbler?

Old lady Ivory down the street.

D-does she still make it?

Oh, honey, she passed on.

You're kidding.

Well, child,
she was in her early 100s.

Yo, you'd have never known
by the way she used to

swing that baseball bat at
me.

But can we, can we have
a moment of silence?

Yeah, well.

Mom, dad,
I have a little favor.

My English teacher
Mr. Fellows

doesn't have anywhere to go
for Thanksgiving tomorrow.

And I just thought,
since he's all alone

and we have
so much to share

could we invite him
to dinner?

Certainly, Carlton.
That's very thoughtful.

And not the worst way to pull
my grade up to an A.

Okay. This sure was lovely.

Oh, no, mom, mom,
I'll get that for you.

Oh, thank you, babe.

Geoffrey!

Ow! Mom, what did I do?

It's alright, Viola, Geoffrey
clears the table. It's his job.

You shouted, Master William?

Uh, yes, Geoffrey,
why don't you have a seat

and have some of these
delicious peach cobbler?

While we clear the table.

Viola, don't go through
so much trouble.

No trouble at all.

Hilary, Carlton, Ashley

andyou,Your Highness

let us all clear the table.

[laughs]
That's a good one!

Honey, do I look like
I'm telling a joke?

Not to me.

Well, don't just
sit there watching.

Pick up the dishes
and get them into the kitchen.

Now, hustle!

Some guest.

What should I do
with these bowls?

Just put them
in the dishwasher.

Here?

Well, let's just take them
up to Geoffrey's room.

He'll know
what to do with them.

Lord, have mercy.
Just leave them here.

I'll take care of them.

Now, go on.

Honestly, I've never seen such
a lazy bunch in my life

and I work
at the post office.

[knock on door]

- Yo, Jesse!
- How's it going, Will?

Hey, mom, this is my man Jesse.
He does gardening here.

- How you doing?
- How you doing?

Hey, Will,
is your aunt around here

I want to know
where to plant the bushes.

Um, I think she said
she wanted them out by the pool.

Um, can you do me a favor?
My mom really likes roses.

Can you snip some roses
for my mom's bedroom?

- No problem.
- Oh, wait a second.

Honey, don't go
bossing him around.

If you want to cut me flowers,
you go get them yourself.

- But, mom, he's--
- Understand?

Okay, I'll cut you the most
beautiful bouquet in the world.

But it's beauty will pale
in comparison to yours.

Don't even try that
prince charming stuff.

Jesse, listen it's the day
before Thanksgiving.

Take the day off.

Thanks. Hey, you going
to be around here for Christmas?

Oh, Jesse! Good I wanted
to talk to you about the bushes.

We can talk about it next week.
Have a happy Thanksgiving!

- Is Jesse leaving?
- Uh-huh.

He didn't mow the lawn.

- Mom gave him the day off.
- What?

Well, no, Aunt Viv,
it's a holiday. I mean..

It'll be cool
if the grass grows another week.

Oh, no. It's not growing
'cause you going to cut it.

Why me?

You always mow the lawn
back home.

I don't see why
you can't do this one?

'Cause it's the size
of a football field!

And since when do I have
to ask you twice?

- But, mom--
- Now, hustle!

Okay, but I ain't going
to cut you no flowers.

Vy, I really wish
you had talked to me

before you let the gardener
take the day off.

Oh, girl, it's the day
before Thanksgiving.

Oh, it was a nice idea,
but it's the same thing

with telling Geoffrey
not to clear the table.

I just think they might
feel uncomfortable

taking orders from somebody
they don't know.

Uh-huh. And they rather take
orders from a 17-year-old boy?

What do you mean?

Well, honey, I don't mean
to be critical, but

I don't like
what I saw today.

Will's got a bunch of grown men
running around

doing all the work
he should be doing.

I haven't seen him lift a finger
except to scratch his head.

You're really
not being fair, Vy.

Will works very hard
at his homework.

Well, back home, Will did his
homework, mowed the lawn

raked the leaves
and cleared the table.

I don't think a little work
around the house

is gonna interfere
with his education.

From what I see,
all he's learning is

how to be a rich kid.

Philip and I just want
Will to have the same advantages

that our kids have.

I mean, isn't that why you sent
him out here?

I sent him out here
to stay out of trouble

and get a good education.

But Vivian, I also taught
that boy the value of hard work

and I don't want him
to lose that.

Now, all I know is
the kids in this house

are getting a free ride,
a free ride in a fancy car.

But I don't mean
to be critical.

I'm not interrupting
anything, am I?

No. All done.

Vivian, since Carlton's
invited his teacher

maybe you should
call the caterers

and tell them there'll
be one more for dinner.

Mm-hmm.

- Are you okay?
- I-I'm just fine.

Do you know what
my sister just said?

You are not gonna
believe this.

She said that
our kids are spoiled.

[scoffs]
News flash.

You mean you
agree with her?

Vivian, I'm the one
who says they should be

doing more work
around the house.

You're the one
who's too easy on them.

Oh, really?
Does this sound familiar?

"Daddy, I need $300."

You don't have
to get personal.

Vy just made
an honest criticism.

Let's just leave it at that.

You really think
I've been easy on them.

Oh, honey, we're not going
to solve this overnight.

Look, let's just have a pleasant
Thanksgiving tomorrow

and we can talk about it
after Vy leaves, okay?

Hmm?

Don't forget
to call the caterer.

Hello, Sally?
This is Vivian Banks.

You had us scheduled for a
Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow.

We'd like to cancel it.

Well, we're gonna have
the kids make dinner.

What do you mean, "good luck?"

[upbeat music]

Will, Carlton,
Hilary, Ashley!

Get down here! Hustle!

- Did you get the turkey?
- Certainly, madam.

Geoffrey,
it's frozen solid.

Really, madam.
I thought it was just scared.

Mommy..

...didn't we just have
a fire drill last week?

- This is not a drill.
- It's a fire?

Oh, my God! I'm going back
for my suede boots.

And don't try to stop me.

While you up there,
get my lucky drawers!

You are going to cook
and serve Thanksgiving dinner.

- How?
- Why?

Because you kids don't do
enough work around the house.

Excuse me? Didn't I just
mow Central Park yesterday?

Mom, my English teacher
is coming to dinner.

He holds my English grade
in the palm of his hand.

This is not the time for one of
your leftist experiments.

Carlton's right, mom.

All this stuff about
us working could really wait.

I mean, it has a real New Year's
resolution feel to it.

I do not
won't discuss this.

Now, since when do I have
to ask you kids twice?

- Every time, mommy.
- Well, not this time.

Now, you've got 15 minutes
to get up, get dressed

and get back down here.

Move it!

Come on, Aunt Viv, I mean,
instead of doing all this work

shouldn't I be spending
some time with my mom?

I mean,
she sees me so little

and I'm growing so fast.

Don't even try
that prince charming stuff.

Your mother did not send you out
here on vacation.

And so far you've been
getting a free ride.

A free ride
in a fancy car.

And if you really want to do
something nice for your
mother

why don't you show her you can
do some work around here.

- But, Aunt Viv--
- No discussion.

Do you realize there's a bump
forming back there?

[upbeat music]

Alright, now. Bust this.
These are your assignments.

I'll do the turkey.

Ashley, you do
the cranberry sauce.

Carlton, you do the stuffing.

Hilary, you do
the yams and rolls.

Oh, I get two things? Why don't
put a yoke around my neck

and hitch me to a plow?

[laughs]

Hilary, I don't think it would
be the worst thing in the world

if you guys did a little bit
of work around here.

I mean, you guys are getting
a fancy ride

a fancy ride in a free car.

I'm sorry dinner's so late,
Mr. Fellows.

Oh, that's okay.

I think in our society,
we're too obsessed with time.

Save time. Don't waste time.
Be on time.

What are we in such
a hurry to do?

To eat.

So, uh, Mr. Fellows,
Carlton always

talks about your English class.

He said you were
studying Shakespeare.

Oh, this is really exciting.

We're reading "Hamlet."

But to make it
more relevant to the kids

I'm teaching it to them
in a rap version I wrote myself.

Oh, Lord.

Peep this.

To be in effect,
or not to be in effect?

Slammin', man,
on the questioning tip.

Uh, yeah.

Uh, ladies and gentlemen

dinner will be served
in 10 minutes.

[metal clanking]

Excuse me.

[thudding]

Hilary.

Hilary!

What are you doing?

It seems that
little Mr. Poppin' Fresh

doesn't want to
come out of his tube.

Perhaps this
will persuade him.

Ashley, how's
the cranberry sauce coming?

- All done.
- Darn it!

Oh!

Nice going, Carlton!

Well, do you want
to try to make this?

This stuffing
is completely dry.

L-look, do I have to
do everything myself?

Listen, Carlton, this isn't
exactly brain surgery.

Look, when something is
too dry, what do we do?

Cream of mushroom soup!

Pour, pour, pour!

Mix, mix, mix!

Can you do that?

Hilary,
did you check the yams?

- For what?
- Oh, my God.

Ohh!

[coughing]

(Vivian)
Shall we say grace?

Dear Lord, for this food
we are about to receive

make us truly thankful.

- Amen.
- Amen.

Well, let's start by serving
our guest of honor.

Mr. Fellows,
care for some yams?

I'd love some. Interesting.

I've never had them before
with this thick black crust.

It's Cajun style.

Hilary burned them.

Oh, they're just
burned on top.

Once you get underneath it

they're totally charred.

- How did you do that?
- Mom, give Hilary a break.

I think she deserves some credit
just for putting out the fire.

Fire?

Well, what else do we have?

Well, that looks like cranberry
sauce, Mr. Fellows.

- Lay it on me.
- Allow me.

It looks wonderful.
Who made it?

- I did, mommy.
- Oh.

Mmm. Mmm. It's delicious.

Yeah, you'd never know
Ashley
dropped it on the floor.

Well, um,
what about the stuffing?

Where's that been?

Uh, yo, man, t-that's dope.
Give it a try, Mr. Fellows.

Yeah. Yeah.

- Um...sure.
- I made it, Mr. Fellows.

I'm sure you'll find it
of grade A quality.

- Oh, speaking of as A's..
- Yes?

Will is gonna get an A
in my English class.

Oh, congratulations, baby.

Do you have any news
for my parents?

Not really.

So how about
that stuffing?

Aw, serve yourself.

Oh, it looks,
looks great.

Um...shall I pass it on?

- No!
- No!

You can have all of that.

Uh, it's a good idea.
Uh, save lots of room.

Because we have a turkey roasted
to perfection by yours truly.

Would you like to do
the honors, Uncle Phil?

Why, certainly.

[sighs]

It's frozen inside.

- Will!
- I'm sorry.

I thawed it as much I could.

What am I supposed to do
sit on it all day?

Now, come on, Vy.
The kids worked hard on this.

Honey, hard is the word.

[laughing]

Let's see what food
we can throw together

I know, 'cause
bigfoot is growling.

[laughs]

Honestly,
that dinner was a disaster!

That's not true, Mr. Fellows
is out there drinking

his second cup of stuffing.

[laughs]

This is certainly
one for the books.

You know, Vy, you really
hurt my feelings yesterday.

What are you talking about?

When you said I was spoiling
Will and my kids.

I'm just trying to give them
the things that we didn't have.

First of all, I didn't mean
to hurt your feelings.

Seems to me
when we were growing up

I'd say a lot worse to you,
and you'd take it.

I don't know,
I think living in California

done made you sensitive.

I don't think
I'm being sensitive, Vy.

You basically called me
a bad mother.

Baby, look, I don't think
you're a bad mother.

Now, I never would have
sent Will out here

if I thought you were.

And I don't blame you
for wanting to give those kids

everything we didn't have.

But you got to teach them
to work hard, too.

And that's what I taught you.

And you turned out
pretty good.

I got to admit it, Vy.
Philip
says I'm too easy on them.

I guess, they should have
some more responsibilities.

Yeah, well,
it wouldn't kill them.

[chanting]
Food, food!

Hey, yo, I wouldn't be
taking my time in here, y'all.

- I'm on my way.
- 'Here you go.'

[chuckles]

Hey, ma, can
I help you here?

No. Not from
what I saw today. Please.

Listen, you got to learn how to
cook before you go to college.

Uh, yeah,
Aunt Viv can teach me.

You know she's a great cook.

Well, she should be.
I taught her.

And your mama
didn't raise no fools.

[both chuckle]

So, you got an A
in English, huh?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Uh, they think
I'm a genius.

[chuckles]
Uh-huh.

Well, you just keep
working hard, genius.

When I leave here

I want you to listen
to your Aunt Viv, okay?

Yes, ma'am.

[chuckles]

I have to say,
you guys did a terrible job

with dinner tonight!

I wish I could've
seen you cooking it!

Uh, yo, mom, you definitely

would've been crying,
straight up.

You make me laugh
just thinking about it.

But you always
did make me laugh.

I miss that.

I miss it, too.

[theme music]

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪♪