The Flying Nun (1967–1970): Season 2, Episode 6 - The Organ Transplant - full transcript
Carlos will do anything to get away from Manuel, who wants Carlos to audition his step-niece by marriage for his nightclub show. Even after he sees and starts dating the beautiful Felicia, Carlos still doesn't want to audition her since he has had bad luck with Manuel's clients, and he doesn't want to ruin the his image of Felicia with what he supposes will be a horrible audition. Carlos will even help Sister Bertrille rather than audition Felicia. First, he runs off to help Sister Bertrille move the convent's newly acquired pipe organ to the convent, and second, he runs off to help move the said organ from the convent. You see, the organ is causing the convent some problems. It is an old, somewhat garish instrument whose air pump is not working properly. Once they get over that issue with the help of a blowing vacuum cleaner, the organ has a couple of glass shattering keys, in particular high-C. This final problem is just too much for the sisters to keep the organ. As Carlos rushes off to the convent for this final move, Felicia tracks him down at the convent and auditions for him right then and there, playing the organ and singing. She's very good and Carlos is mesmerized. He hires her on the spot and takes the organ off the sisters' hands for Felicia's act. However Sister Bertrille forgets to tell them about the problematic high-C key, and at the end of Felicia's act, Carlos has an unfortunate and unexpected glass bill.
(BARKING)
JACQUELINE: There is a
lot to be said for growing old.
Offhand, I can't think
of one good thing.
And as time wears on,
the old organs wear out.
♪ We shall come
rejoicing, bringing... ♪
♪ (ORGAN PLAYING OFF-KEY)
Oops.
JACQUELINE: So, it was
decided that we'd all keep
an eye out for a
likely organ transplant.
Fortunately, Sister Bertrille
had a bird's-eye view.
And now, item
112 in your catalog.
This slightly used organ
dating back to 1898,
played only on Sundays by
a little old lady in San Juan.
Sister, I see you are interested
in this priceless instrument.
Would you care
to start the bidding?
Well, I'll listen for
a while, thank you.
Oh, very well.
We will start the
bidding at $500.
Do I hear $500? $500.
$500?
I'm listening. Keep talking.
It's getting very late,
ladies and gentlemen.
Tell you what I'm going to do.
I will entertain a bid of $400.
I'm afraid that's too much
entertainment for me.
The man who says the church
has no sense of humor
will have to answer to me.
Do I hear $300?
$200? $100?
Sister, are you
interested in this or not?
Not. But I will be as soon
as you come to a fair price.
What would you
consider a fair price?
Uh, well, how does $24.14
and a Saint Christopher
medal grab you?
Sister, before I sell it
for that, I will give it away.
Oh, thank you, senor.
That's more than a fair price.
What?
Your charity will be remembered
in the prayers of the
Convent San Tanco
and recorded in the files of
the income tax department.
No.
Manuel, I'm sorry, but no.
Felicia will be great
in your supper show.
Have I ever lied to you? Yes.
Your last protege emptied
my club after the first number.
Then you must give me a
chance to redeem myself.
(PHONE RINGING)
One little audition.
How long will it take? No!
I mean, yes?
Carlos, excuse me.
Uh, this is Sister Bertrille.
I just wanted to know if...
Oh, yes, Sister Bertrille,
I would be delighted to.
Well, I haven't asked
you anything yet.
Well, you can give me all
the details when I get there.
Well, don't you want
to know where I am?
Oh, yes, of course.
Yeah.
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Fine.
I'll be right over.
Oh, Carlos, one more thing.
Do you know where you could lay
your hands on a heavy-duty trailer?
Of course, naturally.
Immediately. Bye-bye.
Where are you going?
What about the audition?
I'm sorry. That
was an emergency.
We have to audition our step-niece
by marriage at a future date.
Carlos. At a future date.
And don't call
me, I'll call you.
Hello.
Senor Ramirez?
Are you ready for
me? Yes. I mean, no.
I mean I wasn't, but I am.
I'm so delighted, and surprised.
Any stepdaughter of
Great-Uncle Bernardo
is like a stepdaughter
of one of the family to us.
Felicia has an ample repertoire.
Yes, I can see that.
Unfortunately, I promised to help
one of the Sisters at the Convent.
She remembers me in her prayers.
And in this business,
I can use all the
help I can get.
So, excuse me, but I must run.
And I spent the whole
morning warming up.
Oh, wait.
I promise I will be
back before you cool off.
I'm sorry, Carlos.
Who knew that a pipe organ
has to fly a flag while in motion?
I guess you can deduct the tie
and the... and the ticket
as a charitable contribution.
Now, what about the time
away from my business?
You didn't have to rush
over here so quickly.
I mean, there wasn't any hurry.
I want to surprise
the Reverend Mother,
but she won't be
back until this evening.
Now she tells me.
Did I take you away
from something important?
Naturally. That's one
of your great talents
to call me at the right
place at the wrong time.
I'm sorry, Carlos,
but it won't take
very much time
to set up the organ.
Oh, it won't take
any time at all
because I am not going to do it.
Well, this is it.
It sure is. What is it?
It looks just like a
tinkle toy. Tinkertoy.
You've been spending too
much time with Sister Sixto.
(CLANGING)
(EXCLAIMING) "For
whom the bell tolls."
Well, I'll just leave
you experts alone.
I've never been very
good at jigsaw puzzles.
These are the last pieces.
Now, if you'll excuse me...
Yes. Well, you've done
too much already, Carlos.
Thank you so much.
No hay de que. Yes.
Now, if I had a
little more time,
I would be
delighted to try to...
Oh, well, don't feel too
badly about running out on us.
I'm not running out!
My cousin was waiting for
me all morning to be auditioned.
Well, go audition her, yes.
Thank you for the suggestion.
Now, we'll get along just
fine, won't we, Sister Ana?
Oh, sure.
Besides, you'd have trouble
understanding these instructions.
They're Greek to me,
and if we can't understand it...
(CHATTERING)
CARLOS: Give me that.
Of course they are Greek to you.
They're in German.
Oh, is that what it is?
Gosh, gesundheit and
dankeschon is my limit.
How about you, Sister Ana,
do you know any German?
I know a Senor
Schaffimeister in San Juan. Oh.
Oh, Sister Bertrille, why do
you have to be so obvious?
You know perfectly
well I speak German.
Do you?
Doesn't seem to
go. No, it wouldn't go.
Threads the other way.
Threads? What are threads?
Give me that.
Oh, Senor Ramirez,
you are so clever.
Yes, isn't he?
Felicia, would you be patient?
I'm going to try to turn
this junk into an organ.
Dankeschon, Carlos.
When it comes to rebuilding
old German organs,
you've really got that good
old South American know-how.
Yeah, if I had such a know-how,
how come I don't know how to keep
you from conning me all the time?
Just think of all the pleasure
you got out of helping us.
Yeah, I think of the pleasure I
didn't get from auditioning my cousin.
Okay, auf Wiedersehen.
REV. MOTHER: Sister Bertrille?
Sister Bertrille,
the Sisters tell me
that you have a surprise for me.
Yes. It's something
we've needed very badly
ever since our old
one broke down
when you were away.
Well, that could be anything
from our plumbing
to our station wagon.
What do you think,
Reverend Mother?
I think it's very...
It's... It's very...
Don't you think so,
Sister Jacqueline?
You took the words
right out of my mouth.
Let me put it in another way.
(STUTTERING)
It's... It is very...
Very old.
Yes, you noticed.
It's practically an antique,
but I got it at a
terrific bargain.
How terrific, Sister Bertrille?
$10.
You paid $10 for it?
No. Actually, the auctioneer
paid me $10 to cart it away.
I could've held out for $20,
but I didn't want to
take advantage of him.
(ORGAN WHEEZING)
(GASPING)
What... What, what was that?
Well, he's kind of been wheezing off
and on ever since we assembled him.
Change in atmosphere must
have affected his bellows.
Sounds to me
like he's got a cold.
Well, do you think
there is a cure?
We could cover him with
a warm blanket at night.
I think once he's been
here a while, he'll adjust.
How about knocking out a
tune for us, Crazy Fingers?
Crazy Fingers?
Sister Jacqueline?
Oh, that was a nickname
I had when I was younger.
I was intermission
organist at a roller rink.
Let's see if the old Blue Danube
is still flowing
through my veins.
You have to pump it.
I did, but it's like
pedaling a bicycle uphill.
How about trying a
bicycle built for two?
(PANTING)
(ORGAN WHEEZING)
Sisters, please stop.
I... I... I do believe
you're hurting it.
Okay, Sister Jacqueline,
hit your chord...
I guess it still has
a few bugs in it.
Yes, among other things.
♪ (ORGAN PLAYING)
JACQUELINE: Sister Bertrille felt
that all the old instrument needed
was a little breaking in.
So she manned the pump while I
experimented with the different stops.
Translated from the
original German, of course.
(SPEAKING GERMAN)
(SPEAKING GERMAN)
The organ could produce a
remarkable variety of sounds.
♪ (ORGAN PLAYING)
We got a flute.
Drums.
A bugle.
And the sound of a
young girl groaning.
(GROANING)
I can't take it anymore.
I feel like a six-day bike
rider on the seventh day.
Oh.
(GROANING)
What's the matter,
Sister Bertrille?
It's Ziggy.
He's turning out to be
a real pain in the legs.
Ziggy? Who is Ziggy?
It's short for Siegfried
Krumholtz, the organ.
That's the maker's name.
It's signed in the lower
right-hand corner, like a work of art.
Except he's more work than art.
You know, if you ask me,
you're gonna be broken down
long before Ziggy is broken in.
I only wish there was
some way to automate him.
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
Stop the papers!
Turn it off!
Oh, I'm sorry!
It's breathing
out instead of in!
Get those papers!
It's six months' work!
Now I know why
nature hates a vacuum.
BERTRILLE: I got it! I got it!
It came to me at
1,000 feet. What?
The answer to our problem. What?
How to modernize Ziggy.
We'll electrify him. What?
Sister Bertrille, if
you take the hose off,
the wind will have
no place to go.
Oh, yes, it will.
Sister Ana, when Sister Bertrille
touched down from her flight,
did you happen to
notice if she made
a one-point landing on her head?
Well, it may seem a little
bit flaky, but the hose just fits,
and all this organ
needs is a lot of air.
Okay, help me push it back.
Right. Plug her in.
(VACUUM CLEANER HUMMING)
♪ (ORGAN PLAYING)
"Victory through air power."
What's going on, Sisters?
We have electrocuted Ziggy.
Apparently, Ziggy is
not quite housebroken.
JACQUELINE: Reverend Mother
gave us a period of grace to tame Ziggy.
So, we experimented with
different power settings,
pedal combinations, assorted
stops and chord changes,
trying to isolate the gremlin.
(WHISTLING)
Finally, on our second
round of glasses,
we found the supersonic spoiler.
C above high C.
Yes.
All we have to do is
avoid that one little note,
and Ziggy is safe enough
for any child to play.
♪ (ORGAN PLAYING)
No, no, Sisters, you are
not playing the right note.
Oh, well, Reverend
Mother, in this case,
the right note is the
wrong note on purpose.
No wonder you lost your
position at the roller rink.
Sister Jacqueline, allow me.
Oh, Reverend Mother, now,
let me explain this. You see...
There is nothing to
explain, Sister Bertrille.
I...
No. What you need
is an ear for music.
Wait, wait, wait... Not
that there's any... Wait.
Oops.
How's this for an idea,
Reverend Mother?
We can fix Ziggy so no one
can hit his destruct button.
Just a simple
little old bobby pin
under his high C would
disarm him completely, see?
And no one would ever...
Is that a definite no or a...
It's a definite no.
And my recommendation
is that you find someone
who will take Ziggy to
the nearest junkyard.
But how can you
know if I have talent?
All we have done for the past
two days is wine and dine and talk.
You are right.
I think that the time for
talk is drawing to a close.
Yes, Carlos.
Now is the time.
Oh, is it?
I can wait no longer.
You can't?
You are going to listen
to me sing right now.
What? How about
the Indian Love Call?
Oh, the Indian Love...
The Bell Song from Lakme?
(PHONE RINGING)
Well, the Bell...
Oh, that must be Uncle Manuel.
He wants to be
here for the audition.
Oh, he does, huh? Hello? Manuel?
Carlos? Am I interrupting you?
Oh, yes. Thank you.
Huh?
I was just about
to listen to the...
The Bell Song from Lakme.
Bell Song from
Lakme or something.
Well, that doesn't
sound like your bag.
I will be right up
to the Convent
and take the problem
off your hands.
Are you sure? You have my word.
And my word is my word.
There's no hurry. I...
I'll be there in 15
minutes. Bye-bye.
I'm sorry, but the
audition will have to wait.
An emergency.
Every time I want
to sing for you,
you find an excuse
to go somewhere.
What do you want me to do?
If the Convent calls
me, I have to answer.
Why?
I am a servant of the Church.
A servant?
Let's call it a day
worker, okay?
Bye.
That was fast.
(SIGHING) Such a beautiful girl.
But I couldn't bear to spoil the
illusion by listening to her sing.
Huh? Oh, nothing, nothing.
Did you bring the trailer?
The trailer? For what?
The organ. What organ?
Carlos, are you sure it was
you I called when I called?
Ah-ha!
Miss Fierro, what a lovely
surprise. This is Sister Bertrille.
Hello. Hello.
Sister Bertrille,
Miss Fierro is one
of the most gifted of
my distant relatives.
Gifted?
And how do you know I am gifted
if you have never heard me sing?
Every time I have to
audition for him, you call him.
What do you have
against me, Sister? Nothing.
Oh, Carlos, why
don't you audition her?
Well, I will, I will, as
soon as I take care of...
I take care of, whatever
it is I have to take care of.
The organ. The organ!
Oh, the organ.
Every time they have a problem
with the organ, they call me.
And you are knowledgeable
about the instrument?
Oh, yes.
I'd say he knows
more about this organ
than any other
man in the Convent.
You enjoy organ music?
It is a passion with me.
Good.
What are you doing?
I studied the
organ for 10 years.
Uh, hold it a sec.
Hang on while I whip
up some electricity.
(HUMMING)
Okay, hit it.
♪ The look of love ♪
♪ is in your eyes ♪
♪ A look your smile ♪
♪ can't disguise ♪
♪ The look of love ♪
♪ is saying so much more ♪
♪ than words could ever say ♪
♪ And what my heart has heard ♪
♪ Well, it takes
my breath away ♪
♪ I can hardly
wait to hold you ♪
♪ Feel my arms around you ♪
♪ How long have I waited ♪
♪ Oh, waited just to love you ♪
♪ Now that I have found you ♪
♪ Please don't ever go ♪
♪ I love you so ♪
♪ Don't ever go ♪
(EXCLAIMING) Wait a
minute. Wait a minute.
That's fantastic.
She can play, too.
How much for the
organ? Money is no object.
Well, it is no object.
For a change, the
Convent would like
to donate something to
a worthy philanthropist.
"And I've had your old
monstrosity properly electrified,
"and feel quite guilty
for stealing it from you.
"Tonight, Felicia opens at
the Casino Carlos A Go Go.
"Wish us luck and please accept
"this replacement
organ in good health.
"Incidentally, I, Carlos
Ramirez, organ expert first class,
"discovered the reason
for the organ malfunction.
"One of the keys was
jammed. See enclosed."
Nothing enclosed,
but this old bobby pin.
He pulled the pin.
Oh, Felicia's going to be
playing a live hand grenade
at her opening night.
And all that glass
in Carlos' casino.
What will we do if she
hits that high note? Oh.
Repeat after me. Our Father...
JACQUELINE:
Carlos' line was busy,
so Sister Bertrille
decided to deliver
her urgent message
airmail special.
FELICIA: ♪ Now that
I have found you ♪
♪ Please don't ever go ♪
♪ (ORGAN PLAYING) Hey, sorry,
Sister, I have to see your ID card.
Can't I go in for just
one little minute?
Look, Sister, some of
my best friends are nuns,
but I am new at this job.
But I got to see your ID card.
Well, how much can I drink in
one little minute? It's very urgent.
Okay, okay. Go in, Sister.
(GLASS SHATTERING)
Well, what was that?
Well, on second thought, I wouldn't
want you to get into any trouble.
I'll just be on my way.
JACQUELINE: There is a
lot to be said for growing old.
Offhand, I can't think
of one good thing.
And as time wears on,
the old organs wear out.
♪ We shall come
rejoicing, bringing... ♪
♪ (ORGAN PLAYING OFF-KEY)
Oops.
JACQUELINE: So, it was
decided that we'd all keep
an eye out for a
likely organ transplant.
Fortunately, Sister Bertrille
had a bird's-eye view.
And now, item
112 in your catalog.
This slightly used organ
dating back to 1898,
played only on Sundays by
a little old lady in San Juan.
Sister, I see you are interested
in this priceless instrument.
Would you care
to start the bidding?
Well, I'll listen for
a while, thank you.
Oh, very well.
We will start the
bidding at $500.
Do I hear $500? $500.
$500?
I'm listening. Keep talking.
It's getting very late,
ladies and gentlemen.
Tell you what I'm going to do.
I will entertain a bid of $400.
I'm afraid that's too much
entertainment for me.
The man who says the church
has no sense of humor
will have to answer to me.
Do I hear $300?
$200? $100?
Sister, are you
interested in this or not?
Not. But I will be as soon
as you come to a fair price.
What would you
consider a fair price?
Uh, well, how does $24.14
and a Saint Christopher
medal grab you?
Sister, before I sell it
for that, I will give it away.
Oh, thank you, senor.
That's more than a fair price.
What?
Your charity will be remembered
in the prayers of the
Convent San Tanco
and recorded in the files of
the income tax department.
No.
Manuel, I'm sorry, but no.
Felicia will be great
in your supper show.
Have I ever lied to you? Yes.
Your last protege emptied
my club after the first number.
Then you must give me a
chance to redeem myself.
(PHONE RINGING)
One little audition.
How long will it take? No!
I mean, yes?
Carlos, excuse me.
Uh, this is Sister Bertrille.
I just wanted to know if...
Oh, yes, Sister Bertrille,
I would be delighted to.
Well, I haven't asked
you anything yet.
Well, you can give me all
the details when I get there.
Well, don't you want
to know where I am?
Oh, yes, of course.
Yeah.
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Fine.
I'll be right over.
Oh, Carlos, one more thing.
Do you know where you could lay
your hands on a heavy-duty trailer?
Of course, naturally.
Immediately. Bye-bye.
Where are you going?
What about the audition?
I'm sorry. That
was an emergency.
We have to audition our step-niece
by marriage at a future date.
Carlos. At a future date.
And don't call
me, I'll call you.
Hello.
Senor Ramirez?
Are you ready for
me? Yes. I mean, no.
I mean I wasn't, but I am.
I'm so delighted, and surprised.
Any stepdaughter of
Great-Uncle Bernardo
is like a stepdaughter
of one of the family to us.
Felicia has an ample repertoire.
Yes, I can see that.
Unfortunately, I promised to help
one of the Sisters at the Convent.
She remembers me in her prayers.
And in this business,
I can use all the
help I can get.
So, excuse me, but I must run.
And I spent the whole
morning warming up.
Oh, wait.
I promise I will be
back before you cool off.
I'm sorry, Carlos.
Who knew that a pipe organ
has to fly a flag while in motion?
I guess you can deduct the tie
and the... and the ticket
as a charitable contribution.
Now, what about the time
away from my business?
You didn't have to rush
over here so quickly.
I mean, there wasn't any hurry.
I want to surprise
the Reverend Mother,
but she won't be
back until this evening.
Now she tells me.
Did I take you away
from something important?
Naturally. That's one
of your great talents
to call me at the right
place at the wrong time.
I'm sorry, Carlos,
but it won't take
very much time
to set up the organ.
Oh, it won't take
any time at all
because I am not going to do it.
Well, this is it.
It sure is. What is it?
It looks just like a
tinkle toy. Tinkertoy.
You've been spending too
much time with Sister Sixto.
(CLANGING)
(EXCLAIMING) "For
whom the bell tolls."
Well, I'll just leave
you experts alone.
I've never been very
good at jigsaw puzzles.
These are the last pieces.
Now, if you'll excuse me...
Yes. Well, you've done
too much already, Carlos.
Thank you so much.
No hay de que. Yes.
Now, if I had a
little more time,
I would be
delighted to try to...
Oh, well, don't feel too
badly about running out on us.
I'm not running out!
My cousin was waiting for
me all morning to be auditioned.
Well, go audition her, yes.
Thank you for the suggestion.
Now, we'll get along just
fine, won't we, Sister Ana?
Oh, sure.
Besides, you'd have trouble
understanding these instructions.
They're Greek to me,
and if we can't understand it...
(CHATTERING)
CARLOS: Give me that.
Of course they are Greek to you.
They're in German.
Oh, is that what it is?
Gosh, gesundheit and
dankeschon is my limit.
How about you, Sister Ana,
do you know any German?
I know a Senor
Schaffimeister in San Juan. Oh.
Oh, Sister Bertrille, why do
you have to be so obvious?
You know perfectly
well I speak German.
Do you?
Doesn't seem to
go. No, it wouldn't go.
Threads the other way.
Threads? What are threads?
Give me that.
Oh, Senor Ramirez,
you are so clever.
Yes, isn't he?
Felicia, would you be patient?
I'm going to try to turn
this junk into an organ.
Dankeschon, Carlos.
When it comes to rebuilding
old German organs,
you've really got that good
old South American know-how.
Yeah, if I had such a know-how,
how come I don't know how to keep
you from conning me all the time?
Just think of all the pleasure
you got out of helping us.
Yeah, I think of the pleasure I
didn't get from auditioning my cousin.
Okay, auf Wiedersehen.
REV. MOTHER: Sister Bertrille?
Sister Bertrille,
the Sisters tell me
that you have a surprise for me.
Yes. It's something
we've needed very badly
ever since our old
one broke down
when you were away.
Well, that could be anything
from our plumbing
to our station wagon.
What do you think,
Reverend Mother?
I think it's very...
It's... It's very...
Don't you think so,
Sister Jacqueline?
You took the words
right out of my mouth.
Let me put it in another way.
(STUTTERING)
It's... It is very...
Very old.
Yes, you noticed.
It's practically an antique,
but I got it at a
terrific bargain.
How terrific, Sister Bertrille?
$10.
You paid $10 for it?
No. Actually, the auctioneer
paid me $10 to cart it away.
I could've held out for $20,
but I didn't want to
take advantage of him.
(ORGAN WHEEZING)
(GASPING)
What... What, what was that?
Well, he's kind of been wheezing off
and on ever since we assembled him.
Change in atmosphere must
have affected his bellows.
Sounds to me
like he's got a cold.
Well, do you think
there is a cure?
We could cover him with
a warm blanket at night.
I think once he's been
here a while, he'll adjust.
How about knocking out a
tune for us, Crazy Fingers?
Crazy Fingers?
Sister Jacqueline?
Oh, that was a nickname
I had when I was younger.
I was intermission
organist at a roller rink.
Let's see if the old Blue Danube
is still flowing
through my veins.
You have to pump it.
I did, but it's like
pedaling a bicycle uphill.
How about trying a
bicycle built for two?
(PANTING)
(ORGAN WHEEZING)
Sisters, please stop.
I... I... I do believe
you're hurting it.
Okay, Sister Jacqueline,
hit your chord...
I guess it still has
a few bugs in it.
Yes, among other things.
♪ (ORGAN PLAYING)
JACQUELINE: Sister Bertrille felt
that all the old instrument needed
was a little breaking in.
So she manned the pump while I
experimented with the different stops.
Translated from the
original German, of course.
(SPEAKING GERMAN)
(SPEAKING GERMAN)
The organ could produce a
remarkable variety of sounds.
♪ (ORGAN PLAYING)
We got a flute.
Drums.
A bugle.
And the sound of a
young girl groaning.
(GROANING)
I can't take it anymore.
I feel like a six-day bike
rider on the seventh day.
Oh.
(GROANING)
What's the matter,
Sister Bertrille?
It's Ziggy.
He's turning out to be
a real pain in the legs.
Ziggy? Who is Ziggy?
It's short for Siegfried
Krumholtz, the organ.
That's the maker's name.
It's signed in the lower
right-hand corner, like a work of art.
Except he's more work than art.
You know, if you ask me,
you're gonna be broken down
long before Ziggy is broken in.
I only wish there was
some way to automate him.
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
Stop the papers!
Turn it off!
Oh, I'm sorry!
It's breathing
out instead of in!
Get those papers!
It's six months' work!
Now I know why
nature hates a vacuum.
BERTRILLE: I got it! I got it!
It came to me at
1,000 feet. What?
The answer to our problem. What?
How to modernize Ziggy.
We'll electrify him. What?
Sister Bertrille, if
you take the hose off,
the wind will have
no place to go.
Oh, yes, it will.
Sister Ana, when Sister Bertrille
touched down from her flight,
did you happen to
notice if she made
a one-point landing on her head?
Well, it may seem a little
bit flaky, but the hose just fits,
and all this organ
needs is a lot of air.
Okay, help me push it back.
Right. Plug her in.
(VACUUM CLEANER HUMMING)
♪ (ORGAN PLAYING)
"Victory through air power."
What's going on, Sisters?
We have electrocuted Ziggy.
Apparently, Ziggy is
not quite housebroken.
JACQUELINE: Reverend Mother
gave us a period of grace to tame Ziggy.
So, we experimented with
different power settings,
pedal combinations, assorted
stops and chord changes,
trying to isolate the gremlin.
(WHISTLING)
Finally, on our second
round of glasses,
we found the supersonic spoiler.
C above high C.
Yes.
All we have to do is
avoid that one little note,
and Ziggy is safe enough
for any child to play.
♪ (ORGAN PLAYING)
No, no, Sisters, you are
not playing the right note.
Oh, well, Reverend
Mother, in this case,
the right note is the
wrong note on purpose.
No wonder you lost your
position at the roller rink.
Sister Jacqueline, allow me.
Oh, Reverend Mother, now,
let me explain this. You see...
There is nothing to
explain, Sister Bertrille.
I...
No. What you need
is an ear for music.
Wait, wait, wait... Not
that there's any... Wait.
Oops.
How's this for an idea,
Reverend Mother?
We can fix Ziggy so no one
can hit his destruct button.
Just a simple
little old bobby pin
under his high C would
disarm him completely, see?
And no one would ever...
Is that a definite no or a...
It's a definite no.
And my recommendation
is that you find someone
who will take Ziggy to
the nearest junkyard.
But how can you
know if I have talent?
All we have done for the past
two days is wine and dine and talk.
You are right.
I think that the time for
talk is drawing to a close.
Yes, Carlos.
Now is the time.
Oh, is it?
I can wait no longer.
You can't?
You are going to listen
to me sing right now.
What? How about
the Indian Love Call?
Oh, the Indian Love...
The Bell Song from Lakme?
(PHONE RINGING)
Well, the Bell...
Oh, that must be Uncle Manuel.
He wants to be
here for the audition.
Oh, he does, huh? Hello? Manuel?
Carlos? Am I interrupting you?
Oh, yes. Thank you.
Huh?
I was just about
to listen to the...
The Bell Song from Lakme.
Bell Song from
Lakme or something.
Well, that doesn't
sound like your bag.
I will be right up
to the Convent
and take the problem
off your hands.
Are you sure? You have my word.
And my word is my word.
There's no hurry. I...
I'll be there in 15
minutes. Bye-bye.
I'm sorry, but the
audition will have to wait.
An emergency.
Every time I want
to sing for you,
you find an excuse
to go somewhere.
What do you want me to do?
If the Convent calls
me, I have to answer.
Why?
I am a servant of the Church.
A servant?
Let's call it a day
worker, okay?
Bye.
That was fast.
(SIGHING) Such a beautiful girl.
But I couldn't bear to spoil the
illusion by listening to her sing.
Huh? Oh, nothing, nothing.
Did you bring the trailer?
The trailer? For what?
The organ. What organ?
Carlos, are you sure it was
you I called when I called?
Ah-ha!
Miss Fierro, what a lovely
surprise. This is Sister Bertrille.
Hello. Hello.
Sister Bertrille,
Miss Fierro is one
of the most gifted of
my distant relatives.
Gifted?
And how do you know I am gifted
if you have never heard me sing?
Every time I have to
audition for him, you call him.
What do you have
against me, Sister? Nothing.
Oh, Carlos, why
don't you audition her?
Well, I will, I will, as
soon as I take care of...
I take care of, whatever
it is I have to take care of.
The organ. The organ!
Oh, the organ.
Every time they have a problem
with the organ, they call me.
And you are knowledgeable
about the instrument?
Oh, yes.
I'd say he knows
more about this organ
than any other
man in the Convent.
You enjoy organ music?
It is a passion with me.
Good.
What are you doing?
I studied the
organ for 10 years.
Uh, hold it a sec.
Hang on while I whip
up some electricity.
(HUMMING)
Okay, hit it.
♪ The look of love ♪
♪ is in your eyes ♪
♪ A look your smile ♪
♪ can't disguise ♪
♪ The look of love ♪
♪ is saying so much more ♪
♪ than words could ever say ♪
♪ And what my heart has heard ♪
♪ Well, it takes
my breath away ♪
♪ I can hardly
wait to hold you ♪
♪ Feel my arms around you ♪
♪ How long have I waited ♪
♪ Oh, waited just to love you ♪
♪ Now that I have found you ♪
♪ Please don't ever go ♪
♪ I love you so ♪
♪ Don't ever go ♪
(EXCLAIMING) Wait a
minute. Wait a minute.
That's fantastic.
She can play, too.
How much for the
organ? Money is no object.
Well, it is no object.
For a change, the
Convent would like
to donate something to
a worthy philanthropist.
"And I've had your old
monstrosity properly electrified,
"and feel quite guilty
for stealing it from you.
"Tonight, Felicia opens at
the Casino Carlos A Go Go.
"Wish us luck and please accept
"this replacement
organ in good health.
"Incidentally, I, Carlos
Ramirez, organ expert first class,
"discovered the reason
for the organ malfunction.
"One of the keys was
jammed. See enclosed."
Nothing enclosed,
but this old bobby pin.
He pulled the pin.
Oh, Felicia's going to be
playing a live hand grenade
at her opening night.
And all that glass
in Carlos' casino.
What will we do if she
hits that high note? Oh.
Repeat after me. Our Father...
JACQUELINE:
Carlos' line was busy,
so Sister Bertrille
decided to deliver
her urgent message
airmail special.
FELICIA: ♪ Now that
I have found you ♪
♪ Please don't ever go ♪
♪ (ORGAN PLAYING) Hey, sorry,
Sister, I have to see your ID card.
Can't I go in for just
one little minute?
Look, Sister, some of
my best friends are nuns,
but I am new at this job.
But I got to see your ID card.
Well, how much can I drink in
one little minute? It's very urgent.
Okay, okay. Go in, Sister.
(GLASS SHATTERING)
Well, what was that?
Well, on second thought, I wouldn't
want you to get into any trouble.
I'll just be on my way.