The Flintstones (1960–1966): Season 6, Episode 18 - Two Men on a Dinosaur - full transcript

At the races at Hollyrock Park, Fred and Barney wager on dinosaurs picked by the Great Gazoo. Gangsters take note of their success and kidnap the two friends so that they can make winning picks for them.

Go, you Cliffcrag!
Go, boy!

I think big boulder's
going to catch him, Fred.

You're goofy.
He hasn't a chance.

the favorite.

Oh, hi, Gazoo.

What are my dum-Dums
up to now,

wasting their time watching
a silly dinosaur race?

Mind stepping to one side
until the race is over?

Yes, I do mind.

It's time for me
to touch base with the man.

The who?

My chief up
on the planet Zaytox...


Oh, him.

You're going to use Fred's
Tv set to contact him?

What would you use,
the telephone?

Now to get
the right frequency

for planet Zaytox.

Ah, here we are.

Channel Zaytox 896.

Zaytox 896?
Never heard of it.

That must be UHF--

You know, ultra-high


this frequency is so high,

Only Zatokians and
Mula-Mulas can hear it.

Is that so?

what are Moo-Moos?

Mula-Mulas are a life form
on the planet that--

Oh, well, why try explaining
them to Dum-Dums?

You'd never understand.



meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone age family

from the town of Bedrock

they're a page
right out of history

let's ride with the family
down the street

through the courtesy
of Fred's two feet

when you're
with the Flintstones

have a yabba-Dabba-Doo

a dabba-Doo time

we'll have a gay old time

Who calls Gazaam
the mighty?

It is I, Gazaam,
the great Gazoo.

He who was banished

to the third
solar planet

by my own order?

The same, mighty one,

But I have
made restitution.

I've done good deeds
among the dum-Dums--

Stone age people here.

I've learned my lesson,

and I'm ready to return.

I, Gazaam,
have heard.

What does
the mighty Gazaam say

To the great Gazoo about his coming
back to his home, the planet Zaytox?

The mighty one

are you kidding?

Don't call us.

We'll call you.

Poor little guy. I guess
he's lonesome down here.

With us around?
Don't be silly.

Right, Gazoo?

Are you kidding?

There's your answer, Fred.

He'll get over it.

Who do you like
in the second race?

Only one real winner.

You're right. Number 7,
flying granite.

Number 3, royal marble.

Oh, you are joking.

He's even in backward at
the starting gate.

If he even finishes,

They ought to pay
6 to 1.

Last time out he beat
flying granite by 6 lengths.

He tripped him.
You call that fair?

Fair? Fair?
You Dum-Dums slay me.

The real reason
Royal Marble won

was because Flying Granite
had a bad stomachache.

You see, Barney?

Flying Granite
couldn't have won

If Slippery Slag
had been running.

Slippery Slag?
That slow-motion expert?

He's running in the
second race today, too.

Walking is the word.

He's going to win.

If only you'd put up money
to back that up.

He'll win
by 30 lengths.

Bye now.

I still say
Flying Granite.

Royal Marble.

The horses are
in the starting gate...

They're off!

It's Royal Marble in front,

Happy Asphalt second,

Flying Granite third.

And a bad last
is Slippery Slag.

Slippery Slag.

Into the far turn

It's Royal Marble
by a length.

Flying granite moving up
on the inside.

Here comes Flying Granite.

Go, go, go,
you Flying Granite!

Go, go, go,
Royal Marble!

With Stony Brook third,

And way back running
his usual awful race

is Slippery Slag.

That Gazoo, some things he
doesn't know anything about,

Huh, Barney?

Yeah. Come on,
Royal Marble!

Yay! Flying Granite!

Into the homestretch, it's
Flying Granite and Royal Marble.

They're 20 lengths in front

As they come down
the homestretch.

But look!
Here comes Slippery Slag!

Slip-- Slippery...


That's what the man said.

It's Slippery Slag in front
by 1... 2... 10...

20... 30 lengths
at the finish.

He left the whole field
in the dust.

The winner, Slippery Slag!

Did you get
that, Dum-Dums?

30 lengths.

Fred, you think Gazoo knows
something we don't?

Nah. Beginner's luck.

Oh? The winners

at Hollystone Park
are as follows--

in the first race,

Concrete Kitty
in the second,

And Equirock
in the third.

I can pick names
out of thin air.

Names of horses
you never saw

at a park
you've never been to,

and without seeing
a racing form?

Yeah, maybe he does
have something.

Hey, Gazoo.


Where did he go?
He was right here.

He's probably playing
with the kids.

Besides us, they're the only
ones who can see Gazoo.

See who, Fred?

Nobody, Wilma.

Naturally not.

What Fred means
is that the kids

are making up
a new game

with people
nobody can see.

Oh, yes. Children have
such vivid imaginations.

I'm going over to Betty's
for a minute.

Dinner's already
on the stove.

O.K., Dear.

I got to hand it
to you, Barney.

You got more imagination
than the kids.

It's all psychology, Fred.

Yeah, and a couple of whoppers
don't hurt, either.

Shall we do
some tricks, hmm?

[Baby talk]

[Arr arr arr]

All right, now watch
Dino and Hoppy.

Dino... Hop go bye-Bye.

Shall we bring
your pets back?

Gazoo, we want you
to settle a bet

between Barney and me.

I must concentrate.

We were going to bring
Dino and Hoppy back.

I've got an idea
that might be fun.


What do you think?

Come on.
So bring them back.

We want to talk to you.

As you wish.

First Dino...


Get off, Dino.

[Arr arr arr]

O.K., O.K.,
Knock it off.

And now
to bring back Hoppy.

Hey, that's
a good trick, Gazoo.

[Arr arr arr]

Now, Dum-Dums,
you wish to speak to me?

Fred did.

Yeah. You were kidding

about those winners

Was I?

They're really
going to win?

in the first...

Concrete Kitty
in the second...

and Equirock
in the third.

Yes, yes, yes.

Any more questions,

No, sir.

I mean, no, thanks.

Just checking.

Have fun with the kids.

Barney, you got
any money?


like maybe $2.00?

You're not
going to bet--

Shh! Not so loud.

I'm going to bet
on a sure thing.

Well, even
if you were gonna,

Wilma will never let you
go to the racetrack.

I gotta hand it to you.
You did it.

I'm the head
of the house.

I sure do admire you.

You just said,
"I'm going to the races,"

and you walked out.

I said, "we're going bowling"
and walked out.

Hey, look, Barn.

Hollystone Park.
Yep, this is it, freddy-Boy.

Let's get
this thing parked.

We've just got time
for the first race.

$4.00 on Millstone
to win the first.


Fred Flintstone, last
of the big spenders.

At 6 to 1, he hasn't
got a chance.

Why tell you?
You wouldn't listen, right?


Your money.
At least it was.

$4.00 on
Millstone to win.

Hey, Stony. Get a load
of the squares.

Come on, Millstone!
Come on, Millstone!

Wait till the race
starts, barn.

Ha ha ha ha!

Millstone in the first.
What a laugh.

It's slow liar
and Millstone.

Millstone moves in front.

It's Millstone
all by himself.

At the finish,

It's Millstone
by 2 lengths!

Gazoo was right.
We just made 20 bucks.

Let's cash in
and get the bet down

on the second race.

Squares, huh?

Accidents will happen.

Concrete Kitty?

That's what I said.

That's what he said.

Maybe third,
once a year second,

But first, never.
Still, it's...

our money, right?
We bet the whole 20.

You think we ought to?

If we lose,
it's 4 bucks.

We win, we got 98.

Diamond Fred Flintstone.

Shoot the works
on Concrete Kitty.

What do you think?

Never. Like the man said,
maybe show,

But it'll never win.

And to the wire,
it's Concrete Kitty in front

by 7 lengths.

We did it again!

Save the congratulations
for later. Come on.

Let's get our bet down
for the third race.

Two accidents in a row
is too accidental.

They could have
a system.

The whole bundle
on Equirock in the third.

Yes, sir.

Fred, save out
the $4.00 we came with

So we won't
go home broke.

O.K. Here.

You got no confidence
in Gazoo.

Gazoo? Must be a new
system they invented.

Here they come,
ladies and gentlemen.

It's Equirock by 8 lengths.

Coming to the wire,

And an easy win
for Equirock.

The boss will want to
hear about this system.

You can bet on that.

First we find out
where they hang out,

Then get the boss.


$210 in one hour.

Don't lose them.

I won't. You can bet
on that, too.

What are you going to get
with your share?

A genuine stegosaurus-skin
bowling bag.

Great. Watch out
for that puddle up ahead.

Yeah, yeah.
I see it.

What are you
going to get?

a fishing pole downtown

I could never
afford before.

That's far enough.

Remember, if the girls ask,
we've been bowling.

Don't worry.
I haven't forgotten.

That must be
their hangout.

Now remember-- Bowling.


[Arr arr arr]

Here comes your
lovable pet, Fred.

Oh, boy.

Back so soon
from bowling?

Did you have
a good time?

Oh, we had
a swell time.

I bowled
a great game.


What's the matter
with Dino?

Dino's acting as if
he caught you in a fib.

I told you,
we went bowling.

Barney rubble, have you been
up to anything?

You ought to know me
better than that.

It sure is hot.

Heh heh heh.

Money! There must be
at least $100 here.

Look, Wilma.

I'm looking,
I'm looking.

If your best friend
has 100,

then you have 100.

Hand it over.

You've been gambling,
haven't you?

- No.
- No.

Then how did
you get $200?

I think I have a right
to ask that question.

You sure have,

Answer her,

Yeah. Well, we, uh...

won a raffle.

Yeah, yeah.
That's it.

We... won a...

Never mind, Fred.

I believe we were
going shopping, Betty.

I'll get Pebbles.

And I'll take Bamm-Bamm.

The Bedrock department store
is having a lovely sale

on practically everything.

You might as well
go with them, too.

Stool pigeon pooch.

[Arr arr arr]

The women and kids left.

Looks like they're alone.

Let's find out
who they are

And where they got
their system.

There went our money.

Not all of it.

I saved out the 4 bucks
we started with.

[Knock on door]

I'm coming. Yes?

The lady of the house home?

Just me and my buddy.

You can't
come in here.

We can't do what, fatso?

Oh, uh...


We got company,

It wasn't our system.
It was a friend's.

So what's
the friend's name?


Sounds like a sneeze.

You know what happens
to wise guys

who try to fool us?

Gazoo isn't here
right now.

He had to, uh...

touch base with the man.

I'm right here, Dum-Dum.

Too bad they can't
see me, isn't it?

Pretty big fella,
the man?

Out of this world.

Yeah, very big.

They're stalling us.

Right. Their whole
story is phony.

Let's take them
to see... Big Ed.

O.K., On your feet.

We're going to see the man
we touch base with.

You mean
Big Ed" McRock?

The boss.

Certainly I'm going along.

I have to keep my Dum-Dums
safe from harm.

That doesn't mean
they don't deserve

a good stiff lesson first.

Betty, I can't do it.

I can't walk out
of the store

with all these presents
for ourselves.

My conscience won't let me,
either, Wilma.

I don't care what
my husband did.

He's still
my husband.

Let's get
our money back

Before I start
crying right here.

You think Fred will like

this stegosaurus-Skin
bowling bag, betty?

Ooh, it's gorgeous.
It's beautiful. It's...

it's expensive.

He'll flip
when he sees it.

So will Barney when he
sees this fishing rod

with the latest

He's wanted one
for months.

he's got one now.

Aren't we the loveliest,

sweetest, kindest,
dearest wives

in the whole world?

Everything for our husbands

and nothing for us.

At least we got
a toy turtle for Pebbles.

And some weights
for Bamm-Bamm.

Oh, boy.
Here we go again.

Well, as long as
it makes the kids happy.

Flick-Flick flick-Flick
flick-Flick flick-Flick.

Flick-Flick flick-Flick.

Bam! Bam!

Bam! Bam!

Pull up in front at the last
house on the street.

That's the boss' house.

Hop out, sports.
This is it.


Here so soon?

I was enjoying
the ride so much.

I find this exercise
very useful.

Know what I mean?

Bring me something
else to chop, Needle Nose.

Right, boss.

So you fellas don't want
to share your little secret

with my boys, huh?

You see, it's like this.

Shut up.

Know why I keep
my hand in trim?

For guys like you.

How's this boulder
to chop on?

Yeah, fine.

That's a good likeness

of the fat one, boss.

It was.

Now you boys
ready to talk?

Oh, y-y-yes, sir.

We enjoy t-talking,
don't we, Barney?


O.K. Give me the winners

at boulder downs
this afternoon.


we got to have a
conference first... alone.

Throw them into the waiting
room, Needle Nose.

They call this
a waiting room?

Yeah, but don't ask,
"waiting for what?"

We need Gazoo
to come to our rescue.


where are you?

Please don't shout so.

I'm right here.

You want the winners
at boulder downs, right?

First race,
Shady Slate.

Second race, Asphalt.

Third race,
Leaping Lava.

First, Shady Slate.

Second, Asphalt.

Third, Leaping Lava.

Get the car out Needle Nose.

We're are going
to boulder downs.

You won't be
needing us anymore,

so we'll be going.

You're going right back
into the waiting room.

Till we come back
with the dough.

Then you can go.

At the finish
it's patootie in front,

Shady Slate second,
and Three-Timer third.

Shady Slate
didn't win, huh?

O.K. Double the bet
on Asphalt in the second.



Right, boss.

All of a sudden,
I don't like

that fat Fred Flintstone
a whole lot.

Yeow! That hurts.

And it's Beanbag first
by 6 lengths,

Whetstone second,

And Asphalt a poor third.

Double the bet on Leaping
Lava in the third.

Yes, sir.

Coming to the finish line,

It's Rock Head...

Biff Bag...

And Leaping Lava third.

Wait till I get my hands

on those two guys.

Ooh! My hand! Ooh! Ooh!

Gee, boss, sorry
about your hand,

but with that cast
on it,

You'll be better
with that chopping.

Shut up and
get me home.

I can't make up my mind

which one I hate worse--

The fat one
or the little one.

Shady Slate, Asphalt,
Leaping Lava, in that order.

I did just like
you told me.

Well, so long.

Yeah. Been nice
knowing you.

What was that for?

For giving me a bum steer.

O.K., Fatso.
Your turn.

Oh, dear.

It's time to come to the aid
of my parties.

I'm going to do some
fancy chopping on you.


He got the boss.

Let's chop
this one up,

Then get fatso.

Gee, Gazoo. Thanks.

Quiet, Dum-Dum.
I have a call to make.

Bedrock Police Department.

I believe you're looking
for three malefactors

Named big Ed, Stony,
and Needle Nose.

You bet we are.

You'll find them
at 876 Slab Heap road.


Come on, Dum-Dums.
I'll drive you home.

I hope this
taught you both a lesson.

Betting on horses is not
for Dum-Dums like you.

We have a saying
on planet Zaytox,

Made up
by the mighty Gazaam.

If you can't afford
to lose,

You can't afford
to win, right?

No more betting.

Those guys didn't have
any license on their car.

They didn't even have a car.

I'm getting out of here.

Here we are, home.

What was that
we were driving along in?

Would you believe me
if I told you?

Uh, no. That's O.K.

Yeah, yeah.
Thanks for the ride.

Oh, the boys are home.

[Arr arr arr]

[Honk honk honk]

Come on, kids,
and bring the presents.

Bam! Bam!
Bam! Bam! Bam!

Goo ga ga goo ga ga.

That's for the most
wonderful husband

a lucky wife ever had.

That goes double
for me, too.

[Wilma] Oh, yes. Pebbles has
a present I bought you.

Oh, no!

A stegosaurus-Skin
bowling bag!

Aw, gosh! That's
just what I wanted.


Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam!

It can't be.

The fishing pole
I wanted.

How can I ever
thank you, Betty?

By forgiving us for
ever doubting you.

Please, Fred.
Say you'll forgive us.

Only if you'll
forgive us

for lying
about going bowling.

We went to the track
and bet on the races.

Thank you for telling us.

You're a dear.

They've had a happy ending.

It's time for me to touch
first base with the man.

Now, Gazaam,
may I come home?

I have shown the Dum-Dums
the perils of greed.

If you hadn't given
them the winners,

they never would
have been tempted.

You will stay
where you are

further notice.


Gee, that's tough,

except I'm not
too unhappy

'Cause when you do
finally go,

I'm going to miss you
something awful.

Yeah. Me, too.

You're our
best friend.

That's the nicest thing

any Dum-Dum ever said to me.

I hate to admit it,

but when I do leave you,

I'll probably miss
you Dum-Dums, too.

meet the Flintstones

They're the
modern stone age family

from the town of Bedrock

they're a page
right out of history

Someday, maybe Fred
will win the fight

Then that cat will
stay out for the night

when you're

with the Flintstones

have a yabba-Dabba-Doo time

a dabba-Doo time

we'll have a gay old time

we'll have a gay old time