The Flintstones (1960–1966): Season 6, Episode 17 - The Long, Long, Long Weekend - full transcript

[Fred]
wow.

So this is how Bedrock's
gonna look in the future.

It's just the way
the book said.

Look over there.

"Rocket bus
to the moon."

Can I take this bus
to Venus?

Sure, lady.
Transfer at Mars.

Just a minute, sir.
How old is this boy?

He's under 12.
He goes for half fare.

Put your hand in
this lie detector.

This kid is fourteen.
Full fare.



Oh, all right.
Sheesh!

Can't get away
with a thing these days.

Ha ha ha!

Parents haven't
changed a bit

in two million years.

[Toot]

Yabba-Dabba-Doo!

Flintstones,
meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone age family

From the town of Bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Let's ride with the family
down the street

Through the courtesy

Of Fred's two feet



When you're
with the Flintstones

Have a yabba-Dabba-Doo
time

A dabba-Doo time

We'll have a gay old time

This is the life?
Huh, Barney?

Tomorrow starts
the long weekend.

Yeah.
That's right, Fred.

We have friday
and monday off.

You might call it
a long, long, long weekend.

I've always been partial
to the four-Day week.

Nobody ever feels like
going to work monday.

By friday,
you're exhausted.

You might as well
take that off, too, huh?

The only thing is,

Payday isn't
until wednesday,

And financially,
with me, it's mayday.

[Railroad bell ringing]

Uh, you mean, you're
a little short, Fred?

Let me out this way, Barn--

If war were declared,
I couldn't buy a paper

to find out
who's fighting.

Well, I'd help
you out, Fred,

But I'm short
myself.

That's O.K.,
Barney-Boy.

I'll get an advance from
my boss-- Mr. Slate.

All right, Flintstone.
A little to the left.

Careful now.

You know what happened
the last time.

Don't worry,
Mr. Slate.

I have everything
under control.

Hiccup!

Oops!

You all right,
Mr. Slate?

Will you stop yapping
and get this rock off me?

Flintstone, you!

I'm sorry,
Mr. Slate,

But Hildegard has been
having hiccups all day.

Hiccup!

Well, it's a lucky thing
I had my safety helmet on.

[Toot]

Hey, that's
the 5:00 whistle.

Looks like that long
weekend has begun.

Ooh,
that reminds me.

Mr. Slate.

I know this isn't
the time or place,

but I wonder,
Mr. Slate,

If I could get
a little advance.

An advance? O.K.
Come on up to my office.

That rock must
have hit him

harder
than I thought.

Here you are,
Flintstone-- $4.00.

Thanks, Mr. Slate.
This really helps.

Oh, think nothing
of it, Flintstone.

There's just
one little formality.

Huh?

Sign this.

On the other line, too.

And this.

And at the bottom
there.

What's all this
I'm signing, Mr. Slate?

It's just a formality.

This says you agree
to pay 6% interest.

This is an insurance
policy on your life.

An insurance policy
on my life?

Why, sure.

If anything happened
to you,

The grief
would be tough.

You wouldn't want me
to lose money, too.

Forget what I said
about that rock.

Everything O.K.,
Wilma?

Just fine, Betty.

The ribs will be done
in just a few minutes.

You know,
I was just thinking.

I have a kitchen full
of the latest gadgets,

And here I am cooking
like 100 years ago.

I thought Fred promised
to do the barbecuing.

He did, but it's not
exciting enough for him.

He's training
for a new job--

Test pilot for the Bedrock
Hammock Company.

[Snoring]

Fore!

Or whatever they say
for "look out."

Oh, uh, hiya, Fred.

Have you seen
my croquet ball?

Mmph mmph.

Yeah, it has
a blue stripe on it.

Oh, there it is.

Thanks, Fred.

Of all the stupid--

How can a guy take a nap
with a nut like you around?

Oh, I'm sorry, Fred,

But now that
you're awake,

How about a game?

I'll show you how
croquet should be played.

Hoparoo, get a mallet
for Fred...

and a ball.

Look, you.

Nobody likes a show-off.

Tally-Hoo-Hoo!

Tally-Hoo-Hoo!

O.K., Barney.
Say good-bye to your ball.

Well, Barney,
how did you like that?

Hey, not bad, Fred,

But do I play
the next wicket

With a mallet
or a whisk broom?

If you think that was
something, watch this.

[Snoring]

Now what?

Watch.

Here's a shot

to tell your
grandchildren about.

Pease porridge hot,
pease porridge cold,

Pease porridge in the pot
nine days old.

Ha ha ha!

Bamm! Bamm! Bamm!

Hey, sounds like somebody's
having a lot of fun.

You want to play
that game

with uncle Fred,
Bamm-Bamm?

Careful, Fred.

It's dangerous playing with
the world's strongest boy.

Let's see now.
How does it go?

Pease porridge hot,
pease porridge cold,

Pease porridge
in the pot

Nine days old!

Ooh, boy. That porridge
has quite a kick to it.

Do we have time
for another game, Wilma?

Yes, mother. The coals
are just getting red.

And I'm getting
blue in the face.

What are you
reading, Barn?

It's that new
science fiction magazine,

Super Space Stories.

I'm reading
about Rock Rogers.

He lives
in the 21st century

And flies
on his jet belt

At 1,000 miles
an hour.

1,000 miles an hour?

Yeah. Oh, he goes
to the Moon, Mars, Venus.

What does he go
to the moon for?

- Lunch.
- I had ask.

Let me see that.

"And there stands
Rock Rogers,

"Tall, blue-Eyed,
and broad-shouldered.

"With a cheery wave
of his hand,

"Rock leaps
into his jet saucer

"and presses
the blastoff button.

"The sound is deafening

"As the mighty jets
roar into action.

Rock is off."

Boy, this clown
is a real hot-Dogger.

Why do you waste your
time reading this junk?

Isn't junk, Fred.

Scientists are working
on these things right now.

What is fiction today
may be fact tomorrow.

We're gonna jump
into our space saucers

and take off for a
weekend on the moon?

Not us, Fred,
but years from now,

They'll have
rocket bus service

for all the planets.

I can see it.

"Take the bus and leave
the blastoff to us."

Ha ha ha!

I don't get it.

What's the big joke?

You ought to know.

You're looking
at him.

Hiya, Mr. Gazoo.

Hey, Barney.

Let Mr. Gazoo
have a laugh, too.

Tell him about the bus
service to the moon.

Maybe he'll make
a reservation.

Flintstone,
when you laugh,

You show not
only your tonsils,

but your ignorance.

Everything Barney said
is true.

In fact, that book
doesn't begin to describe

the wonders
of the future.

What's left
to be invented?

We have
everything now.

There's no use
talking to you.

You're a man completely
devoid of imagination.

All right, everybody.
Dinner's ready.

Come and get it
while it's hot.

I may have no
imagination,

but I sure have
an appetite.

See you later,
Mr. Gazoo.

Rock Rubble and me

are blasting off
for the barbecue table.

Ha ha ha!

What a clod.

Boy, that was
some meal.

Nobody can barbecue
like my Wilma.

And nobody can eat
like my Fred.

I have two sleepy people here
who want say goodnight.

May I help you,
mother?

No. I still remember
how to put babies to bed.

Hey, I have an idea.
Why don't we take a drive?

On a holiday weekend?

The roads
will be jammed.

There won't be
anyone on the road.

Everybody's out of town.
Come on.

[Horns honking]

This is awful.

We haven't moved
for 20 minutes.

So, "there won't be
anyone on the road.

Everybody's
out of town."

Well, they are.

Every car is
from out of town.

Don't worry.
We'll be on our way soon.

I hope so. I can
still see my house.

I knowwhat to do.

[Beep beep beep]

Welcome to the freeway,
the world's longest parking lot.

[Beep beep beep]

Honking's not going
to help, Fred.

Too bad we're not
in Rock Rogers' time.

They won't have
any traffic problems then.

They'll sail
in their flying saucers

at 1,000 miles an hour,
like in the magazine.

Cut out that nonsense.

That magazine is
just a bunch of hooey.

Ha! Flying saucers,
1,000 miles an hour.

Oh, boy.

I see there's
only one way

to convince you,
Flintstone.

Gazoo, how's that?

By letting you
see for yourself.

I'm sending you all
into the future.

Oh, boy!
What about the girls?

Don't worry
about them.

They can't see
or hear me.

When they get back,
they won't remember a thing.

Close your eyes
and button your lip.

Get set to take a trip.

Diddle dum, diddle dee,

I'm sending these kooks
to the 21st century.

Go ahead and press it,
Flintstone.

Press
the blastoff button.

O.K.

[Engine starts]

Hey, look
at that guy.

I'm already
doing 1,000.

Fred, please.
Let's get off this flyway.

Relax, honey. We're coming
to the bedrock turnoff.

Wow.

So this is how Bedrock's
gonna look in the future.

It's just the way
the book said.

"Rocket bus
to the moon."

Can I take this bus
to Venus?

Sure, lady.
Transfer at mars.

Just a minute, sir.
How old is this boy?

He's under 12.
He goes for half fare.

Put your hand in
this lie detector.

This kid is fourteen.
Full fare.

This kid is fourteen.
Full fare.

Oh, all right.
Sheesh!

Can't get away
with a thing these days.

Ha ha ha!

Parents haven't
changed a bit

in two million years.

Oh, look.

"Bedrock Discotheque."

Oh, this we've
got to see.

I wonder what music
they play.

I wonder
how they dance.

I bet
they go crazy.

Wait. I don't
have any money.

Money?
Who needs money?

You just sign
for everything.

How about that,
Fred?

And you pay later...
much later.

Hmm. Sounds like a fair
arrangement to me.

[Music playing]

I don't believe it.

What kind of dancing
is that?

That's our kind
of dancing.

Gee, it must
have come back.

Is that the way
all teen-Agers dance?

Why, certainly, sir.

What happened
to the watusi?

The what?

Oh, the watusi.

Our archaeology
professor

Told us
about that.

Sure.
It went like this.

What a perfectly
vulgar dance.

Please excuse us.

Did you notice anything
funny about them, Barney?

Only that they
were very polite.

Maybe they're
old teen-Agers.

How about these
moving sidewalks?

Sure beats
walking.

Imagine, Betty.

We could shop
all day

And not wear
our feet out.

Barney,
I'm starved.

Yeah, so Am I.

Hey,
there's a restaurant.

Come on. Let's get
some nice, juicy steaks.

Now, let's see
if I have this right.

The gentleman ordered
corned beef and cabbage.

The ladies ordered
lamb chops.

And you, Sir?

Order anything
you want, Fred.

This time,
the signing's on me.

Ha ha ha!

I'll have
a barbecued steak,

Medium rare.

Coming up.

Lamb chops.

Corned beef
and cabbage.

And a barbecued
steak...

medium rare.

I hope it's the way
you like it.

You call this
a steak?

Too well-done?

[Gasps]

Which pill
is the corned beef

and which the cabbage?

Hey, Wilma.

Yes, Fred?

Pass the ketchup.

Well, Fred, what do
you think so far?

Not bad.

I think I ate too much
in that restaurant.

Hey!

A barbershop.

We'll get haircuts

While you girls
are shopping.

Fine.

Good idea.

I'll have
to borrow your pen.

Oh, O.K., Betty.

Just don't bankrupt
my ink supply.

Good day, gentlemen.
You're next.

There's nothing like
a haircut, shave, and massage

to relax a guy.

There's one good thing

about these 21st-Century
barbershops.

What's that?

You don't have time
to tip the barber.

I wonder how
the boys are doing.

They're coming now.

Fred! Barney!
Over here.

Hi, girls.
How was the shopping?

I hope you didn't
sign my life away.

Relax, boys.
We didn't buy anything.

But we have
a wonderful idea.

Let's take
the excursion to mars.

Gosh, I don't know.
What do you think, Barney?

Well, I thought
the moon would be nice,

but if the girls want mars,
then mars it is.

Step to the rear
of the rocket, folks.

Plan your seats
on the rear.

Here, madam.
Take my seat.

Oh, no.

I don't want you
to have to stand.

Oh, I'm only going
as far as the moon.

Besides, who's standing?

[Fred]
"welcome to mars...

altitude
133,561,000 miles."

We got here
in less than an hour.

Without the wind,
it would have been faster.

Oh, don't be silly, Fred.

Everybody knows there's
no wind in space.

Well, there is when Fred
opens his big mouth.

Ha ha ha. Very funny.
Very funny.

C'mon!
Let's not waste time.

Our bus goes back
in two hours.

Hey, Betty.

What are you
looking at?

- The earth.
- Let me take a look.

Hmm, yeah.
That's the earth, all right.

Hey, Fred.

Look at the scenery.
Kind a scary, hum?

Yeah, gives you
the creeps.

Creep. Creep.

[Glub glub glub]

Fred.

- Let's get out of here.
- Lets back to the bus.

That's a g-G-Good idea.

- I'll take over this way.
- Uh, hold it, Fred.

I think the over
is this way.

O.K., Smart guy.
We'll go your way.

Hmm. It's not
over this way.

And it's not over there,
or over there.

Where is with?

Gee, I don't know.

What you like that?
We're lost on mars!

What will goonna do?

Now don't anybody panic.

Y-Y-Yeah.
Everybody s-s-Stay calm.

Now don't p-p-panic.

Relax, Fred. We'll find
someone to help us.

I'll look over here.

Aah!

[Roar]

[Roar]

[Roar]

What's wrong,
Barney?

I just saw someone,

But I don't think
he'll help us.

Ahn? What you're
talking about?

Let me see.

Why, there's nothing here,
but a great big monster!

[Roar]

[Roar]

[Roar]

Run for your lives!

[Roar]

[Roar]

[Roar]

All right!
Cut! Cut! Cut!

Do you call that acting?

How do they expect me
to make an "a" picture

with a "b" monster?

I thought
I was good.

I certainly scared
those autograph hounds.

Look behind us, Barney,
and see if he's catching up.

You look, Fred.
I'm too busy running.

Hi, folks. Enjoying
your trip back to earth?

And how.

Would you care
to watch television?

- Yes, thank you.
- Oh yeah!

I've been wondering what
television would be like.

You'll have to watch
Peyrock Place.

It's the only show on,
24 hours a day,

seven day a week
on all networks.

Oh, boy.

Sure good to be
back on earth.

You can say
that again.

"Slate Rock-N-Gravel Company."
There's where you used to work.

How about that?
They're still in business.

Let's go have
a look around.

"Our founder."
Well, what do you know?

My old boss, Mr. Slate.

Uh, may I
help you folks?

Thanks. We're just
looking around.

So that's the company's
founder, huh?

Yes, my remote
ancestor.

I'm George Slate
the 80,000th.

Of course, I didn't
know our founder,

but they say he was a fine,
generous man.

You sure
didn't know him.

- What?
- Oh, nothing.

Tell me, did you ever hear

of an employee
named Flintstone?

Flintstone.

Yeah,
Fred Flintstone.

He was one of your founder's
most valued employees.

Well, I look at
the records.

It'll only take a moment
with this computer.

Ah, here we are--
"Fred Flintstone."

Ah, this is interesting.

What does it say?

It says that this
Flintstone borrowed $4.00

and never
paid it back.

Really?

And at 6% interest,

It now amounts
to $23,682,000--

[Gulp]

And 67 cents.

Hey, you wouldn't
be related

To this deadbeat,
would you?

Who, me? I never
heard of him.

Wilma! Barney! Betty!

Let's get out of here!

Stop that man!

Come back here,
you deadbeat's descendant!

Oh, darn
these one-Way sidewalks.

Hang on, everybody.

Oh, good, Fred.

The cars are
starting to move.

I'm heading home
at the next turnoff.

Betty and I
will go fix a snack.

While put the
car away.

Good idea, honey. That trip to
mars gave me an appetite.

Trip to where?

Ha ha ha!

Oh, Fred,
you kill me.

Don't worry,
Flintstone.

The girls don't
remember a thing.

Well, I do.

Thanks, Mr. Gazoo, for a
fantastic experience.

You're welcome, Barney.
And how about you, Flintstone?

Did you learn anything
from the 21st century?

I sure did.

I'm seeing Mr. Slate
first thing tuesday

and paying back
the four bucks.

That interest could ruin you
in a couple million years.

Well, you may not be
ready for the future,

but then, the future is
not ready for Flintstone.

Ha ha ha!

Flintstones,
meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone age family

From the town of Bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Someday, maybe Fred

Will win the fight

Then that cat will stay out

For the night

When you're

With the Flintstones

Have a yabba-Dabba-Doo time

A dabba-Doo time

We'll have a gay old time

We'll have a gay old time

Wilma!