The Flintstones (1960–1966): Season 5, Episode 10 - The Most Beautiful Baby in Bedrock - full transcript

The Loyal Order of Water Buffaloes are organizing a "most beautiful baby" contest to all parents of Bedrock. What happens to be a simple contest becomes a war of words when both Barney and Fred and the wives argue they both have beautiful babies. The conflict might go too far, especially that Bamm-Bamm and Pebbles are the best of friends, and don't care what their parents think of each other. When it goes too far, the two babies run away...

Boy, Fred, old pal,
this is one contest

Where we have it made.

Yeah, Barney,
old buddy.

I mean,
who knows more

About politicking
than me?

No one, Fred.

Besides, who has a more
beautiful baby than me?

No one, fr...
than you?

Now, with you

As Pebbles'
campaign manager--

Wait a minute. Hold it.
Hold everything.



I thought you
was gonna be

Bamm-Bamm's
campaign manager.

Bamm-Bamm? What are
you talking about?

He's a boy.

I'm aware
of that, Fred,

But he also
happens to be a baby.

Also the strongest,
smartest--

Barney, are you
going to sit there

And compare Bamm-Bamm
to Pebbles?

Not on your life.
That would be silly.

That's better.

Bamm-Bamm is definitely

The most beautiful baby
in bedrock.

Let me get this
straight, Barney!



You are going to
campaign against me?

Why? Are you running

For the most
beautiful baby, too?

[Toot]

Yabba-Dabba-Doo!

Flintstones,
meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone age family

From the town of bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Let's ride with the family
down the street

Through the courtesy
of Fred's two feet

When you're
with the Flintstones

Have a yabba-Dabba-Doo
time

A dabba-Doo time

We'll have a gay old time

Wilma, will you please hurry?

We're gonna be late
for the drive-In movie.

I'll be right
with you, Fred.

I'm just tucking
Pebbles in

For the baby-Sitter.

Well, snap it up.

I'm hurrying as fast
as I can, Fred.

Oh, women--They're
never ready on time.

She knows I hate to come in
in the middle of a movie.

[Arr arr arr]

No, no, no, dino.
You can't come with us.

This is an adult movie,
and they don't allow pets.

[Whining]

Mmm?

I said no!

[Crying]

Wilma, will you
please step on it?

Coming, Fred. I just
gotta get my purse.

We gotta pick up
the rubbles, too, you know.

I know, I know.
Oh, let me see.

Have I got
everything?

Oh, dear, I better
bring a blanket

To keep warm.

I'd hate to have to
depend on her

To deliver me some serum
in a snowstorm.

Alright, dear.
I'm ready.

I don't believe it.

Oops! I forgot
my lipstick.

Well, that did it.
I'm going, Wilma.

Take it easy, Fred.

I'm all set now.
Let's go.

Well, Fred, let's go.
What're you waiting for?

Fred, what are
you doing?

What's wrong, Fred?

I, um...
forgot my car key.

Well, we're
almost there.

I can see the sign
from here. It says...

[reading]

Betty:
I hear it's swell.

You cry all the way
through the picture.

Stop me if
I'm wrong, Barney,

But didn't we
start out

To do something
different tonight

Besides going
to a movie?

Yeah. How did we
let ourselves

Get talked into
this culture stuff?

We compromised,
remember?

Yeah. We two wanted
to go to this movie.

You two wanted
to go bowling.

But we're
at the movie.

Where's
the compromise?

Instead of going alone
and being mad at you,

We let you take us
and we're happy.

Oh, I see.

[Roar]

Shh! Shh! Fred,
the picture's starting.

Barney:
it says, uh...

[reading]

All I can say is,
this better be funny!

Oh, Barney!

We knew they weren't
college professors

When we married
them, right?

Right, Wilma.

Oh, rockeo, rockeo,

Wherefore art thou,
rockeo?

Barney:
here you go, Fred.

You want a little mustard
on your brontofurter?

Thanks, Barney.

Shh! Quiet, you two.

What's in a name?

A rose by any other name
would smell as sweet.

Sweet!
That reminds me--

I'm gonna get some
rocky chocolate bars.

Get some popcorn
while you're at it.

Beat it,
you fool son

Of a montagranite!

Who needs you,
capulet?

You finkasaurus!

Come home, son.

No! Rockeo!

Farewell, julietta!

[Boo hoo hoo]

Oh, how sad!

I love to cry
at movies!

Me, too!

[Both crying]

Hey, um...how about
some cactus juice, Fred?

Thanks, barn.

That's it, charlie.

Henceforth,

My house is at war
with your house.

It's a deal,
finkasaurus.

Take that!
And that and that!

Take that! And that
and that, you...

That!

Wilma:
I do hope the movie

Isn't disturbing
your eating, professors.

No, no. We're
just killing time

Until the funny part.

Did you say
"professors?"

I have to
admit it, though,

That movie
really got to me.

Yeah, me, too.
Italian movies always do.

They make you think,
don't they?

No, they make me hungry.

Spaghettarooni, Fred?

Pizzaroni, Barney.

Ha ha ha!

I just love
pepperocka pizza.

Here, Barney, you take
the bigger piece.

Oh, no, thanks, pal.
You take it.

Betty, you sure
you won't have some?

No, thanks, Fred.
I'm on a diet.

How about you,
Wilma?

Same here, Barney.
Do you mind if we watch?

Not at all.

You see, classic or not,

That story
just wasn't believable.

What wasn't
believable?

You've never heard
of two families feuding?

Wilma, the kids
were in love.

They were neighbors
for years.

All of sudden--
Pow! They're enemies,

And they're fighting.
Oh, come on.

Yeah, grown people
just don't act that way.

Right, buddy-Boy,

My friend
and good neighbor?

Right, sweet old pal of mine.

You are so right.

Have a good day, boys.

Don't forget, Wilma.

We have a water buffalo
lodge meeting.

We'll be a little
late for dinner.

We won't forget. Bye.

[Car races away]

[Arr arr arr]

Oh, Wilma, look!

[Arr arr arr]

Look at
my strong son!

Isn't he cute?

Ga goo ga ga.

[Honk honk honk]

Aga aga ga!

[Honk honk]

[Arr arr arr]

Aga ga goo goo ga.

Oh, it's wonderful how
we get along so well.

You know, the fellas
may have a point

About that movie.

Nothing could ever break up
our friendship.

That's true, Wilma.

Say, Betty,
let's have

a progressive dinner
tonight.

Oh, that would
be fun--

Half at your house
and half at mine.

Right.

We'll do it
together.

Ga ga goo ga.

Goo goo ga goo.

[Honk honk honk]

[Arr arr arr]

Go, go, buffalo!

Go, go, buffalo!

Moo, team!

Moo, team!

[Gavel pounding]

Quiet! Quiet!

Exalted brothers
of the royal lodge

Of the Water Buffalo,
quiet!

Ahem.

As you know, each year,

We have
a special family event

To which we all
look forward.

The floor
is now open for suggestions

For this year's event.

A picnic with sack
races and stuff?

Are you kidding?
Being tied up in a sack

With your wife
may be a special event,

But it sure
isn't a picnic!

Ha ha ha!

Oh, that
joe rockhead's a riot.

How about a beauty
contest for our wives?

I got a better idea.

How about
world war III?

Yeah, don't you remember

What happened last year?

Look, fellas, let's
have one contest

Where there can't be
any hurt feelings.

Let's sponsor
a beautiful baby contest.

Everyone loves babies,
right?

Right! Sure!

Of course!

That's
a great idea!

I second that.

Leave it to you
to come up

With a winner, Fred.

Between us,
we can't lose.

All in favor of brother
Flintstone's suggestion,

Signify by saying...

aye!

Boy, Fred, old pal,
this is one contest

Where we have it made.

Yeah, Barney,
old buddy.

I mean,
who knows more

About politicking
than me?

No one, Fred.

Besides, who has a more
beautiful baby than me?

No one, fr...
than you?

Now, with you

As Pebbles'
campaign manager--

Wait a minute. Hold it.
Hold everything.

I thought you was gonna be

Bamm-Bamm's
campaign manager.

Bamm-Bamm? What are
you talking about?

He's a boy.

I am aware
of that, Fred,

But he also
happens to be a baby.

Also the strongest,
smartest--

Barney, are you
going to sit there

And compare bamm-Bamm
to Pebbles?

Not on your life.
That would be silly.

That's better.

Bamm-Bamm is definitely

The most beautiful baby
in Bedrock.

Let me get this
straight, Barney!

You are going to
campaign against me?

Why? Are you running

For the most
beautiful baby, too?

Out of this car!
Out! Out! Out!

I'm outing! I'm outing!
I'm outing!

If you had
one more brain

In that head
of yours,

It could play
solitaire!

If you lost 25 pounds,

You'd still have
the fattest head in town!

Gee, we've made
a pretty table, Betty--

Your candles,
my tablecloth,

Your silver, my china.

Just goes to show

That two cupboards
are better than one.

Fred: as far
as I'm concerned,

You sawed-Off half pint,

You can go jump
in the ocean!

It's Fred.

I wonder who
he's talking to.

Barney: I'd tell you
to do the same, fatso,

But you'd cause
a tidal wave!

Does that answer
your question, Betty?

It's Barney!

My five-Iron,
I believe,

You moocher!

Betty:
Barney!

Moocher, huh? Where's
my electric razor

That you trimmed your
rosebushes with, you nitwit?

Fred.

What's this
all about?

Well, mr. Fatso here

Doesn't think
our bamm-Bamm

Is good enough to be
in the lodge baby contest.

I never said that!

I merely said
that he wasn't

As good-Looking
as Pebbles.

Well, of course.
Anyone can see that.

I resent that!

Ha! Come on, Betty.
You have eyes in your head.

And they're just
beginning

To be opened,
Wilma.

I'm getting
my electric razor.

I'm getting
my tennis balls.

So you don't think
bamm-Bamm

Can compete
with your Pebbles, huh?

Not unless the judges
are blindfolded.

That does it!
I'm getting my silver!

And I'm taking back
my hors d'oeuvres!

My poker chips.

My reading lamp.

My new mop.

How did I get
into this?

My vacuum cleaner.

Ouch! My nose!

Wilma:
my baking dish.

Betty:
my recipe book.

My sewing machine.

My six eggs.

I only borrowed five.

- Six!
- Five!

My child.

Take him and
good riddance.

Goodbye!

Ga ga goo goo!

Ga ga ha ba ga!

Ma? Mamma?
Bamm-Bamm.

Ba ba boo ba?

No, Pebbles,
you can't play

With bamm-Bamm
today...

or any day.

[Boo hoo hoo]

- Listen, Wilma...
- listen, Fred...

I know what you're
going to say, Wilma,

And you're right.

It is pretty silly

To lose
our best friends

Over a baby contest.

There's no reason why
both babies can't enter.

We got mad
over nothing.

I'll go over there
and-- And...

Fred: "vote for bedrock's
most beautiful baby.

Bamm-Bamm rubble"?

I'll go over there
and punch him right in the nose!

[Buzz]

Good afternoon,
madam.

My lodge
is sponsoring

A baby contest

And I'd like you to
vote for this baby.

He's working my side
of the street. I'll fix him.

Two can play at this game.

1, 2, 3, 4.

1, 2, 3...

[doorbell buzzes]

Come in, 2, 3...

pardon me...

...4. 1, 2, 3, 4.

Hee hee hee!
Tough luck, Fred.

Now let a master salesman
show you how it's done.

Ha ha ha!

[Buzz]

Yeah?

Good afternoon,
madam.

My lodge
is sponsoring

A baby contest

And I'd like
you to--

Did you say "baby"?

Yeah, that's right.

Mister, that's
the wrong word

To use around here.

Waldo, go get him.

Yipe!

[Raar raar raar]

[Splash]

Ouch! Ouch!
Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!

[Awk]

Go find
your own bathtub.

Ha ha ha!
Some master salesman!

Why don't you quit?

No. But I think I'll try
downtown for a while.

Well, I might as well
go home to lunch.

[Doorbell buzzes]

Yes?

What can we do...

for you?

Our lodge is having
a baby contest.

And this is the baby
to vote for.

If you need glasses,

Which you guys
obviously don't.

Now, this
little beauty...

can't even compare
to this guy, right?

I'll vote
for him.

You're nuts.
She's the beauty.

She's cute,
but he's cuter.

No, he isn't.
She is.

- No, he is!
- She is!

He is!

And just what makes
you so smart?

And just what
makes you so dumb?

Ha ha ha!

Hey, wait a minute!

All: we don't like
your attitude!

Fred:
cut that out!

Hey, fellas,
it's only a contest!

Quit it! Hey!

Ah...ah...

ah-Choo!

Now drink this,
and you'll feel better.

Boy, that door-To-Door
campaigning is rough.

Barney,
I've been thinking.

Yeah, I know.
Me, too.

Look at bamm-Bamm.

Aba ga goo aba ga goo.

Bamm! Bamm!
Bamm bamm bamm!

Bamm-Bamm is miserable
without Pebbles,

And, well, frankly,
I miss Wilma, too.

Yeah. We're acting
like kids.

I'm going right over
and tell Fred

That we're taking
a little picket fence

And making it into
a big stone wall.

Hey! Where did
that come from?

Who needs you, rubble,
you finkasaurus?

Yow!

Ooh, that does it,
Flintstone!

This means war!

If it takes
every cent i've got,

I'm gonna see

That bamm-Bamm wins
the contest

Just to spite you!

To heck with the budget.

No rubble is going to
win out over Flintstone.

Get your ballots
right here!

Cast your vote for the most
beautiful baby in bedrock!

Vote for bamm-Bamm

And get your free
ice cream here!

Why, that sneaky,
low-Down sneak.

Get your free
ice cream here!

Just one vote will do it!

Rubble,
you can't do that!

What's the matter,
Fred?

You mad because you didn't
think of it first?

It's illegal
to buy votes!

It's a free country!

I'm warning you!

Look, I'm scared,
I'm scared.

Fred:
I'll have you up

Before the lodge uncavemanlike
investigating committee

For this!

Oh, it seems funny
going places

Without Fred and Wilma.

Well, if you ask me,

It's like having
a tooth pulled.

You never know how
much trouble it is

Until it's gone.

Boy, was that Fred
mad today.

I really sneaked one
in on him. Ha ha ha!

What's that?

What's what?

That!

[Reading]

Why, that fat thief!

He outsneaked me!

The ribs will be done
in a jiffy, Fred.

You can serve
the brontofurters.

Okay, Wilma, I bet this
will get out the vote.

Ha ha!
Come and get it!

Get 'em while they're hot!

All you can eat!

Oh, boy, I never knew

There were
this many people

In the whole
neighborhood.

I never knew

There were this many people
in the whole country!

Have a good time, folks,

And don't forget to sign
the ballots on the way out.

Gee, look at
all those people.

You mean look at all
those votes for Flintstone.

Barney, this contest

Isn't between
you and Fred.

It is now, and I think
I know how to fix him.

Do ba go
ma ba ga blooga!

The free food's
a big success.

They're still coming.

Wilma, service
for 10, please!

Okay, Fred,
in a second.

That means
10 more votes.

I have got it made.

Da ba dee ga
ba ga do ba.

[Boo hoo hoo]

Hope you enjoyed it,
friend.

Ballots are on the table
out front.

I'm glad
you could come.

Great barbecue, pal.
It'll be a pleasure

To vote
for your son.

Well, thank you!
Uh...son?

Lucky we saw
that sign out front.

Free barbecue dinners
aren't easy to come by.

Yes, thank you,
mr. Rubble.

Rubble? Son?

Huh?

Great barbecue.

[Reading]

Best free dinner
I've had today.

Glad you liked it.
Cast your vote

For bamm-Bamm
right here.

Thank you, sir.

It was a pleasure
to serve you, sir.

Next voter,

Step right up
and sign in, please.

Raarrr!

Uh-Oh! Now, Fred,
there's no need

To get physical
about this thing.

Ouch!

All's fair in politics
and war, Fred!

Remember your
blood pressure, Fred!

And remember
your cholesterol count!

And remember the alamo!

Remember me?

Me and my big mouth.

Now, Fred,
let's talk it over!

Okay, Rubble,
quit hiding!

Put up your dukes
and fight!

You bet I will,
Flintstone, but...

where are you?

Fred! Barney!

Something terrible
has happened!

- What?
- What?

Pebbles and bamm-Bamm
have disappeared!

We looked everywhere.

But I saw Pebbles

Just a few
minutes ago...

ooh, maybe they
were kidnapped.

[Boo hoo]

Well, they
can't be far.

I'll get the car.

- Fred.
- Yeah, Barn?

We'll
find them together.

Right, pal.
Let's go.

Adee ba ba.
Da ma ma.

Goo goo ba do
agoo boo do.

Pebbles!

Bamm-Bamm!

Oh!
Oh, it's no use.

We'd better
call the police.

Wait! What's
over there?

That's them!

Oh! Thank goodness
they're safe!

Fred: why, those two
little tykes,

They were
running away!

Can you blame them,

With all the fighting
and bickering

That's been going on?

Pebbles!

Bamm-Bamm, darling!

Poor children,
expecting their parents

To act like adults.

Kids are really
something, huh, Fred?

Yeah. Growing up

Is a tough business,
alright,

Especially at our age.

Ha ha ha!

Barney,
I've made a decision.

I'm taking Pebbles
out of the contest.

You what?

Starting today,

I am acting as bamm-Bamm's
campaign manager.

Betty, will, uh,
you come here a minute?

Coming, Wilma.

But, Fred, I decided
to take bamm-Bamm

Out of the contest.

Can't let you do that, Barney.
I was in the wrong

And I want
to make it up to you.

But, Fred, Pebbles
is beautiful

And she
should stay in.

No, Barney,
your bamm-Bamm is a winner

If ever I saw one!

I say Pebbles
should be in!

I insist, Barney,
bamm-Bamm is in!

Out!

- In!
- Out!

Right this way,
doctor.

- Doctor?
- Doctor?

Relax, fellas. Looks like
both babies are out.

Huh?
What's the matter?

Come here.

Nothing serious.

It's just our old friend,
the measles.

Fred:
the measles?

If your kid wasn't
feeling well, old buddy,

Why did you let him
play with my kid?

Well, how did I know

She gave him
the measles?

Gave him
the measles?

Obviously,
he gave them to her!

- He did not!
- Did not!

- Did too!
- Did not!

Wilma:
uh, fellas...

come here
and take a look.

"Q-U-A-R..."

Both: "quarantined"?

Yes, until
further notice.

Good day,
gentlemen.

Well, we're all
in this together,

So let's try to get
along, shall we?

Well, might as well

Get the cards,
huh, buddy?

Coming right up,
old pal--

One deck of cards.

I have an idea

It's going to be
a long game, Barney-Boy.

You deal, dear buddy.

I'm dealing,
I'm dealing.

I'm opening,
I'm opening.

Remember,

A pair of jackasauruses
or better.

Ha ha ha!

Flintstones
meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone age family

From the town of bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Someday, maybe Fred

Will win the fight

Then that cat will stay out

For the night

When you're

With the Flintstones

Have a yabba-Dabba-Doo time

A dabba-Doo time

We'll have a gay old time

We'll have a gay old time

Wilma!